Journals of Harmony: Chaos at Hogwarts

by computerneek

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Random, Adventure, Harry Potter
Length: 40811

Princess Luna was a bit late to return, and now Equestria is going to Hogwarts!

When Princess Celestia banished Luna, she expected her to return in a thousand years as a weakened little mare for her to mother and nurture back to health. When Luna tacked on a few extra years and finally returned with just as much snark as she ever had, she's thrown for a loop. And that's not even mentioning that apparently the Multiverse is actually a real thing, someplace called Hogwarts is inviting her people, and the war she didn't know Equestria was fighting!?

First off, this story is an experiment. It's another story in the Gate/OtIoPW/AI/etc vein, though it really only shares the same general idea; I've done numerous little tweaks so it's still a whole new story. And at least part of that is the format: For the most part, the story is presented as a series of journal entries written by the various people. I'm doing my best to keep entries from the same writer consistent in tone/style, but don't expect too much there. There's going to be a few little event scenes slipped in between, whenever I really want to show rather than journal.

While I have structured these entries so they're sorted by character and each chapter group represents one month of entries, meaning that there will be multiple chapter entries that technically happen in parallel, I don't recommend skipping any of them unless you've already read the story. I already have trouble repeating myself between stories- something I'm hoping this format helps me learn to overcome- so repeating myself between characters when multiple characters see the events is simply not happening. Besides, you're not here to read about the same event three times over, you're here to read about something new, aren't you?

While you can probably read the various 'subchapters' in whatever order you wish, I have ordered them the way I have for a reason- in some cases, at least. The ones tagged 'Origin' are the first time a given character has supplied an entry, and may introduce that character.

This thing's been writing itself quite well so far, so I have hope it'll keep going. For as long as it does, expect one chapter- that is to say, one chapter group, comprising one month of entries- per month.

And finally? Tags may be updated as the story progresses. Even though I've never updated them.

And this story was written with the able editing assistance of ... Me, Myself, and I, apparently. It seems I was silent for too long, so they all wandered off.

Cancelled 10/22/24 for the same reason as all the other recent stories. This time, though, I've actually noticed the trend and realized what I need to do to make something longer-lived.

Published 2024-07-05 14:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-23 00:43:59 UTC

Chapter 1.1 - June 2010 - Princess Luna Lumine - Origin

Entry: Monday, June 21st, 2010

Let us make it clear, we do not approve of our sister’s methods. Imprisonment on my Moon could have killed me in so many ways it’s not even funny. I could have starved, and just snuffed it. I could have died of dehydration. I could even have returned alive, as a corpse lacking only in cardiac arrest.

My dear sister is so very, very lucky in so many ways.

Firstly, she was actually wrong about how long I was ‘imprisoned’. The magic holding me to my Moon broke after a matter of mere seconds- and a good thing, too. Until it broke, I couldn’t establish an air bubble so as to breathe. But I still didn’t return for a thousand years… because I had discovered a problem.

And it was so very big of a problem.

My Moon… my dear, precious Moon… was being eaten.

By the worldwall.

I spent a total of about fifteen minutes on that Moon. I spent a few of those years, cumulatively, back in Equestria, under disguise, and working continuously to reinforce the worldwall, to keep Equestria stable.

But no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop or reverse the decay, only slow it. And lack of power wasn’t the problem.

So the rest of my banishment, most of those thousand years, was spent on the other side. Exploring various universes, searching various worlds. Examining their worldwalls for the damage that had doomed Equestria.

The damage caused by a certain Princess Celestia Solaris, when she forced the Elements of Harmony to act against one of their own bearers.

It took many, many years before I found a world that didn’t have that damage, or oftentimes something much worse.

Then I found another.

And another.

And I had finally stumbled upon the search matrix necessary to net more of these worlds than I could possibly explore myself- it was time for me to return to Equestria and enlist Celestia’s finest investigators. After all, now that I had a set of good worldwalls to look at, it took only a very little amount of work to check a new world’s worldwalls.

So it was time to return to Equestria… after a thousand years of my banishment.

I debated just walking into the Throne Room in full regalia, but as I was walking across the Royal Academy grounds, I overheard something interesting.

Apparently, I was prophesied to return on the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration, in just a few days, and bring eternal night.

It took all of my considerable willpower to keep from bursting into laughter right then and there.

I knew I was going to be having more fun than I really should, and I really did have a lot of fun, but what’s a mare to do when the perfect opportunity presents itself?

“I give you… Princess Celestia!”

Nothing happened.

Mayor Mare, the simple mayor of Ponyville, looked back towards the curtains. “Uh…”

Rarity Belle poked her head out from a side door. “Apologies for the delay, we’re having… technical difficulties.” She vanished once again.

Luna suppressed a snort. She’d just lowered her Moon- for the first time in a thousand years- and judging by the signatures… Oh dear. Princess Celestia had gotten rusty over the ages- her spells were positively wasteful!

But the older sister was still definitely searching the Castle of the Two Sisters out in the Everfree Forest, so the stage was set.

Luna activated a pair of spells simultaneously. She teleported up onto the balcony and shed her disguise both at once. “Oh, Our little ponies, it is good to be back,” she greeted the shocked crowd. “I feel like We should apologize for Our absence these last thousand years; We were tied up in dealing with an infestation of moon bears.” She suppressed the urge to snort. “Now then. Our precious sister, Princess Celestia, is going to be absent from the proceedings today; on Our return from Our Moon, We noticed a pack of Solar Sasquatches homing in on her Sun.” She sighed dramatically. “She has departed to take care of them before they become a bigger problem. In the meantime, We have come to show Our little ponies exactly how sunny an eternal night can be!” She reared up on her hind hooves, and raised her sister’s Sun, to confused applause.

Then she vanished again, back through teleportation and into disguise.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Chapter 2.3 - July 2010 - Harry Potter - Origin

Entry: Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Waaaa! Waaaa! Whaaaaaaaa!

Author's Note

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This has been my personal favorite chapter so far.

Chapter 4.1 - November 2011 - Bonbon

Entry: Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

World 2C1 was closed today, after its residents declared war on our scouts.

That leaves only World 3DB from the initial batch. 3DB is a tricky world; it features both magical and non-magical peoples, but the transformation effect is to a form that’s fairly easy to manage. Up until today, the magical side has also been at war with a local Dark Lord- and we might have closed it as too dangerous, but it’s also one of the very few worlds we’ve encountered where the gate is one way. That is to say, the only way our operatives are able to return is with our safety necklaces- which means it’s simply not possible for that Dark Lord to follow us back through, and it’s safe for us to just wait out the war.

Now that the war is over, we might be able to start building relations, and see what the locals think of us.

But anyways. We’ve been opening a thousand portals a day for over a year now, and only keeping an average of fifteen new portals each day- still more of which get closed over the next few days. Regarding only the generations which are more than one week old, the average number of portals open is almost one.

Because of this, I haven’t been calling in as many Reserve Agents as I initially planned; we simply haven’t had the worlds to send them into.

But even with the war, 3DB remains one of the most promising worlds. Abundant resources, welcoming environment, plentiful food, and even welcoming magic. The only speedbumps are the existing civilization and the fact that magic works differently there, so we’ll need to relearn… but we have been able to confirm we are still capable of magic there.

Hmm… I think we’ll wait a year, then make contact in 3DB. It wouldn’t do to look like we were waiting out the war, even if that’s exactly what we were doing.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

I was a bit slow today.

Chapter 5.2 - July 2012 - Albus Dumbledore - Origin

Entry: Thursday, July 12th, 2012

For some strange reason, I just got the willies- that feeling like someone is walking over your grave. I checked all of my monitors, though- and I can’t figure out what might have caused it.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

And we have a return of the VeryShortEntry!

You might have noticed the 8-month time jump between chapters 4 and 5.

Chapter 6.3 - July 2015 - Albus Dumbledore

Entry: Friday, July 31st, 2015

I got the willies again today- like the end is nigh. But it’s not- and I checked. We’ve still got a good ten years before Voldemort comes back- so why am I feeling this existential dread?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

And here the story shall stand, leaning off the edge of a cliff, until September visits with Chapter 7 and the largest number of unique perspectives in a single chapter so far. Actually in existence at the moment, but I haven't written all that far into the timeline yet so who knows...

Chapter 7.3 - August 2015 - Albus Dumbledore

Entry: Saturday, August 1, 2015

I woke up today with a foreboding feeling such as I cannot put into words. It was like the one yesterday, but many, many times stronger. I have inspected my instruments closely, but there is nothing wrong. Voldemort is still about ten years away from coming back. Grindelwald is still securely contained. Harry is still alive and well with the Dursleys- though it seems Mr. Dursley has had an accident and been hospitalized. My protections have kicked in, and he can be guaranteed to survive and recover in full. I wouldn’t want Harry to go without his loving relatives.

So where exactly are these feelings coming from?

Entry: Sunday, August 2, 2015

I woke up today to find most of my office burned to the ground. The elves had a very hard time extinguishing the flames, and by the descriptions I was given, it sounds like Fiendfyre.

Fawkes is gone.

I pray he is still alive; Fiendfyre and phoenixes do not get along.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

We may yet find out what happened to Fawkes some time in the future, but I actually haven't decided if/when he'll appear again myself, so who knows... Rest assured, Fawkes is fine.

Chapter 8.1 - September 2015 - Garrick Ollivander

Entry: Friday, September 4th, 2015

The angel appears to be engaging in categorical protection. The Hogwarts Express rolls today, but I haven’t sold a single wand to a muggle-raised student this year that wasn’t imbued with a Guardian Angel Hair, making it a Guardian Wand. Not a single wizard-raised student got one, only the muggle-raised- to include muggleborn, a couple half-bloods, and a single pure-blood.

As I am only required to inform the buyer of their wand’s status as a Guardian Wand when they ask, none of them are aware of the powerful magic acting to protect them.

But what is it protecting them from?

Author's Note

Some of you may have noticed when I never published chapter 8 in the first week of October. Admittedly, Hurricane Helene was a part of that (I happened to be parked in the fringes of the affected area when it passed, but no worries, I planned for it and was unharmed and unaffected myself), but it wasn't the whole thing.

No, far from it. I actually did inspect chapter 8 on Oct. 1st with the intent of publishing it, then... never did. Now I am.

Patreon, Discord.

And now that I am finally publishing chapter 8, I must also inform you that this story is being cancelled. I'm dumping chapters 8 through 13 (everything currently written) onto FimFiction for you to read, but... there will never be any more. And the reason? I'm pretty sure the three characters that Chapter 8 introduces are a part of it, especially the one that holds the only part of Chapter 13. Alongside the rapidly deteriorating quality of the characters as you progress through the various rewrite chains, because I was so focused on not repeating and on... well, Mary Sue (aka Helia Black this time around). I've got plans for a new story that should fix all that, but it'll be very slow to appear, and I'm not sure what it'll look like just yet. I know I'll be returning to the pony focus, though- if I want to focus on Harry, I'll write a straight HP-fic and post to AO3 rather than forcing it to have ponies in the background so I can post here.

Wow, my A/N is now almost three times as long (by word count) as the chapter! Better stop now.

Chapter 8.2 - September 2015 - Sienna Fox - Origin

Entry: Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

Dear Diary,

I seem to have made a grave error. I do not understand why Mom wants to know about Helia. She says Helia is not in trouble. I do not know any other reason she would want to see her. I met Helia at school today. She is a pretty girl with black hair. She is also strong. She blocked Marietta from crashing into me. I think Marietta hates me. I am a Royal Princess and shy. Marietta likes running into me to make me drop my books. Helia blocked her. Marietta tried to push Helia away. Helia could not be pushed. She picked Marietta up and put her down. It made the floor shake and the teachers run. Marietta said Helia threw her on the ground. The teachers did not believe her. I do not know why. I saw Helia put Marietta down. It was funny. Marietta is twelve and twice as big as Helia. Marietta has only a bruise from it. I told Mom about Helia and Marietta. Mom was mad and asked about Helia and Marietta. I asked Mom not to punish Helia. Mom said she was not planning to. I do not understand why Mom wants to know about Helia.

Entry: Friday, September 25th, 2015

Dear Diary,

Mom still wants to know about Helia. Mom asked me to look for Helia during breaks and at lunch. I was not able to find her. I asked Mom why. She said Helia is important. She said Helia is a Black. She said the Blacks are dukes that hide. She said Helia might hide too. She seems to be. Helia is not in any of my classes. I did not see her at school at all today or yesterday.

Entry: Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Dear Diary,

I met Helia again today. Professor Fallinghard tripped on a book. He was going to land on me. Then Helia was there. She picked him up and put him on his feet. He stared at her. It was funny. I asked Helia where she sits at lunch. She said she does not. She said she has work to do. I asked Helia what work she does. She would not tell me. I asked Helia why Blacks are important. She said she should not say it in public. I do not understand. I asked Mom. She said Blacks are magic. She said magic is secret and magic is hiding. She said magic is rebel. She said Helia might help. I do not understand.

Author's Note

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When I first wrote this, I originally meant it to be her almost-six older sister (Oct. 12) rather than Sienna's four-and-a-half (Feb. 8), then decided that her sister would have to be mentally deficient to write something this inarticulate at her age, especially given her station and the education she'd likely already been subjected to by said age. Honestly, I think even Sienna might also be more articulate than this... though that might also be placing too high of expectations on her education, given her age.

Chapter 1.2 - June 2010 - Twilight Sparkle - Origin

Entry: Monday, June 21st, 2010

Princess Celestia told me to write a journal, so I’m doing it.

I… don’t know how to write a journal, actually. One moment while I look it up.

Entry: Monday, June 28th, 2010

Dear Diar No, this isn’t a diary, it’s a journal. Let me start again.

Dear Journal,

I wasn’t able to find any references that would tell me how to write a journal. It’s like there isn’t a single book on it in the entire library- inconceivable, I tell you! But fortunately, my new friend Pinkie Pie knows how to write a journal.

She… has difficulty explaining it in a way that I could understand. I think I almost caught fire from the effort- and I know there was smoke coming off of my horn, a sure sign that I was overthinking something.

So… I’ve come to the conclusion that Pinkie is just Pinkie. If I don’t understand her, or what she does, or says, or whatever else… that’s fine. Maybe I’ll understand it later, but it’s not worth trying to force myself to understand it now. All that will get me is a headache.

Turns out Applejack also knows how to write a journal. She was able to help me make heads and tails out of what Pinkie said about them, and figure out how to write one myself. She said one of the most important things about a journal is to just be myself, and to write in my own style, without constraining myself to some format or another.

So I asked the rest.

Fluttershy was the hardest to ask about writing a journal. Whenever I spoke with her, her responses were too soft to be understood. It’s making me wonder if her problem isn’t shyness but something else that just happens to look like shyness, but I’m not a psychiatrist so… yeah. But when I put Spike in front of her, and asked him to ask her about writing a journal, she was happy to tell him all about it. Is she, perhaps, afraid of ponies? Despite being one?

When I sent a letter to Celestia… her answer was confusing. She didn’t seem to understand what I was getting at, until I clarified that I was asking how to write a journal- simply referencing her last letter apparently wasn’t enough.

That reminds me. Earlier today, she sent me a letter, with a bunch of attached notes, and asked me to build and set up a worldgate array based on them, and start exploring other universes to see about the viability of moving Equestria to them. When I asked her how big of an array I should make, and for a recommendation for where to put it… she seemed to have forgotten that she’d sent it all in the first place. She’s done that before when I answered days apart, but this was just five minutes!

Entry: Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Dear Journal,

Everything is weird today. And not in a Pinkie Pie way- even Pinkie thinks it’s weird.

Princess Celestia sent me a letter by dragonfire to tell me she has no idea what a worldgate array is, nor where to look for information on them. I received it while I was pouring over the magic matrices described in the documents she sent- these things are incredibly complex, but I can already see ways to modify the matrices to make stable portals. They’ll need a power source if I want them to be open for more than an hour a month, though- but that’s been solved. There’s lots of different things I could use as the source, so I asked Rarity what she would recommend- and she pointed me to an eccentric stallion named Doctor Hooves. There, I ran into a candymaker named Bonbon, who told me she was working on building a hydroelectric dam. That’s a term I’d never heard before, but it refers to something like a beaver dam that lets water flow through it… while converting the energy of that water into raw power.

The math she showed me said this thing should be able to power a million worldgates no problem, and still blow out the lighting crystals in the homes of everypony in Equestria, all at once. Seriously, what on Equus does she need that much power for!?!?

But I talked to her, and now I’m making enchanted parts for it instead of Doctor Hooves- he apparently takes forever and makes very frequent mistakes, which makes it painfully slow- in exchange for the use of its output. Boom, power supply solved.

Then, while I was enchanting a turbine for that dam… a letter arrived, from Princess Celestia, by post. Derpy Hooves, who turned out to be Doctor Hooves’ wife, is an amazingly kind mare, though a bit clumsy. However, she’s only clumsy because her eyes were damaged by some mistake Doctor Hooves made some time ago- that’s another project, I guess.

In this letter, she introduced the mailpony- why Princess Celestia knows the Ponyville postmare so well, I can’t figure out- and specified how big the worldgate array should be.

In short? As big as possible.

And she included the deed to a plot of land about three times the size of Ponyville, just outside of Ponyville.

We might need to upgrade Bonbon’s beaver dam at some point.

Entry: Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Dear Journal,

I know, I know, I wrote yesterday and the day before, and only diaries get daily entries. But something important happened today, alright? And it wasn’t a Tuesday!

Not that anything special happens on Tuesdays.

Anyways, the important thing. Pinkie found a new pony in town today, renting a cottage on the outskirts. After trying a couple of times- or, to hear the poor new pony tell the story, a couple hundred times- she fell back and came to me to pout about a new pony that wouldn’t open the door.

So I had gone to try and play mediator. As I walked up to his door, I noticed the… very new, but also incredibly complex enchantments on them. I thought he must be good at enchanting- and he was.

“Y-You’re not that-!” The stallion’s voice cut off suddenly from the other side of the door.

Twilight sighed. “No, I’m not The Pink. Nopony understands her- and I almost caught fire when I tried, so it’s best you don’t try to either.” She paused. “Are you, by any chance, good at enchantment?”

There was a pause from the other side of the door. “Er- Y-Yeah, I am. I… I was going to make an enchantment shop.” Finally, he opened it a little, and peeked out.

And Twilight recognized him. Not by name, no- she didn’t think he’d ever told her his name. But he’d been in her class at Celestia’s School, and always studied with her in the library. His teddy bear had been known to bring both of them the books they needed without prompting- and she had a sneaking suspicion it was he that was behind Spike’s dragonfire mail thing.

“Did you do these enchantments yourself?” she asked curiously, politely, and calmly. If there was one thing she remembered about him, it was that he had always been the quiet kid, probably too shy for his own good. But, if you were calm, polite, and patient enough, as the teachers rarely were, he seemed to respond. Admittedly, she’d never tried actually talking to him before, only silent interactions.

True to form, he nodded in a very Fluttershy-esque manner.

“I happen to be working on a rather large magical project lately,” she informed him. “Starting with a ‘hydroelectric dam’ that needs a lot of enchantments. Do you think you can help?”

There was a pause, and he nodded again.

“Thank you!” She paused. “And, er, if I may ask, what’s your name?”

“Shooting Star.”

Getting her new friend, Shooting Star, acquainted with Bonbon’s beaver project team ended up being Twilight’s next priority. That… ended up being just Bonbon and Twilight so far, but she’d had to introduce Star to Bonbon to find that out. Fortunately, the mare seemed to pick up on his peculiarity even before Twilight could explain it, and approve of his taking over the enchantment work from Twilight.

Then Bonbon… had called for Pinkie.

“Hey, Pinkie?”

The Pink appeared out of nowhere on the path next to them. “Yeeeees, Bonnie?”

“I would like you to meet Shooting Star,” Bonbon informed Pinkie, gesturing towards Star- who had cringed away from Pinkie’s sudden appearance. “He… doesn’t take well to surprises.”

Pinkie blinked owlishly, then tilted her head. “Huh?”

“Kinda like Fluttershy,” Twilight injected, on a sudden inspiration.

Pinkie blinked. “Oh. Oh! OH!” She bowed massively. “I’m so very very sorry, Mr. Star!”

Then she was gone.

“Like Fluttershy,” Bonbon mused. “Huh, I should have thought of that. Her difficulty is very different, but the effect is alarmingly similar, isn’t it?”

Author's Note

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One of my favorite parts about writing Twilight in this story is that while she knows it has nothing to do with beavers, she insists on calling Bonbon's hydroelectric dam a 'beaver dam'.

Chapter 2.1 - July 2010 - Shooting Star - Origin

Entry: Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

I’ve always been a loner.

Yet, I suppose I ought to stop saying that nowadays. Thing is, I’m meeting new ponies and engaging in idle chatter almost every day now, thanks to my good friend Pinkie Pie. Oh, yes, and I’m also madly in love with Twilight Sparkle.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. We just finished Bonbon’s hydroelectric dam today- the one Twilight keeps calling a beaver dam, though I get the idea she’s doing it on purpose.

Especially after she made some design suggestions related to expansibility a couple weeks back. That had both me and Bonbon staring at her like she’d grown an extra head- after which she’d unearthed the deed to a plot of land the size of a large city, and the Celestia-given instructions to build a worldgate array. They’re insanely complex, but I was able to simplify them- and reduce power requirement- and our calculations indicate that this hydroelectric dam will still provide only about half of the power necessary to run that thing at full capacity.

But anyways, I noticed Twilight has been writing a journal, so why shouldn’t I? Here I am.

I should probably explain who I am, shouldn’t I?

And not the way Pinkie does. For some reason, she insists that the best way to describe me is a ‘reader OC’, whatever that is. Reader Of Cannons, maybe? But I don’t do anything with cannons. Except design, build, and maintain her new party cannons for her, I suppose.

As far as I am concerned, though, there is no simple way to describe me. I’m simply… me.

Whenever I tell Bonbon that, she promptly tells me that Pinkie would say I’m ‘shaped like myself’. But of course I’m Shooting Star-shaped, I am Shooting Star!

But anyways, why don’t we start at the beginning?

It’s at about this point that I realize that I wasn’t really living until after I’d encountered Twilight, but since I did that in Celestia’s School, I should probably go even earlier than that.

Way back in the beginning, I was a pretty unique Unicorn colt. I was shy- oh, so very shy. People were scary. I could never predict exactly what they would do- especially those three bullies in Magic Kindergarten. They… still are, actually- but while Twilight and Bonbon might not be very good with ponies, and Pinkie simply doesn’t understand, Bonbon’s marefriend Lyra Heartstrings is a people-pony and- possibly more importantly- a certified counselor. She’s helping me understand, deep down inside, that I don’t have to understand, and that I don’t have to be afraid of the unknown. I’ve known that for over a decade, but she’s actually convincing my subconscious to know that. It’s helping- I might actually be decently functional in another few years.

Though I suppose, even when I was a colt, I did get to the point where I could predict the bullies, to an extent. They became less scary as a result- I knew how to deal with them, get them to do what I wanted, really. I didn’t laugh at the time- I’ve always been good at restraining my emotional outbursts- but one of the highlights of my foalhood was convincing the three bullies to pile up on top of each other to challenge a visiting filly to a game of cloud hockey.

Suffice it to say, they lost. The anemic pegasus on the bottom of the tower could perform the necessary cloudwalking, but the tiny little colt wasn’t strong enough to move very much at all with the stunted unicorn on his back- or the brick-like earth pony on top. The filly they’d challenged- who, if I remember right, was the Rainbow Dash- couldn’t stop laughing, and won anyways.

That’s probably unrelated to how Rainbow is now the proud holder of three separate world records: Largest wild storm to ever be cleared single-hoofed before the professionals could so much as arrive; most time spent napping whilst engaged in the single-hoofed clearing of a wild storm; and fastest ever single-hoofed Cloud Hockey victory against the Cloudsdale Thunderbolts, a well-known professional Cloud Hockey team.

I could never figure anypony else out nearly as well as I did those bullies. Maybe it was because they had very simple minds?

In any case, because I had so much difficulty predicting and interacting with ponies, I turned to that which I could predict: Books. And magic.

Because of this, the latter half of Magic Kindergarten was easy. I continued studying magic, even after acing my final exam a year early. It was around six months after that that I started experimenting with magic. I discovered that I could enchant an object- almost any object, though some were easier than others- to give it an autonomous, entirely predictable, behavior.

Oh, I remember this part so well. One fateful night, I had crafted and emplaced an enchantment on my favorite teddy that would have it help me study. How? Easy- it would read a book I placed in front of it, then summarize it to me when I asked later.

I had no clue that such an enchantment was supposed to be impossible. In fact, I had no clue that the first book I had it read happened to be the one that would have told me that! Well, until I asked it for the summary… and it summarized the book, quite well. I distinctly remember dropping my jaw. It had done exactly as I had expected- and informed me that the enchantment powering it was flat-out impossible.

But it obviously worked, because it did its job. That’s when I realized I had a gift for enchanting. And, coincidentally, when my cutie mark appeared.

I was torn, internally, by its appearance. On the one hoof, it’s a sign that I’ve found my calling- and something to celebrate.

On the other hoof, it’s something to celebrate. With other ponies. I was afraid of how they might react.

My parents didn’t give me any time to contemplate it, though. Literally moments later, they entered my room to deliver the news that they’d signed me up for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns- and I’d been accepted.

Of course, they saw my cutie mark.

I… I was hiding in the corner for a week after that happened.

Then another week after that entrance exam for Celestia’s School. I think it was supposed to be difficult, but the only difficulty I had was in hatching the egg. I was able to craft an enchantment capable of hatching it, and even placed it on the egg- but I lacked the power to operate the thing. Probably because it was a wooden egg, and I had designed the enchantment to hatch a very real dragon from it.

Fortunately- or unfortunately, to me- I had already passed the exam, even before they brought the egg out. I remember hearing an echoing crash as I was leaving the school; a dragon had suddenly burst through the roof!

Many years later, just last week in fact, I was to discover that that egg had been taken out- the unicorns hadn’t spotted any enchantments, they must have been blind- for another examinee. That examinee- Twilight Sparkle- had inadvertently powered my enchantment, hatched the egg, and gotten her cutie mark. Yes, Twilight thinks it’s funny too.

But back on topic. While I was studying at Celestia’s School, I did come out of my shell, a bit. All these students were similarly unpredictable- but they were actually somewhat predictable. Every last one of them, with few enough exceptions that I could ignore them, would go to class, leave class, study, socialize, go home, and repeat the next day.

There was one exception I didn’t ignore, though. A little purple filly, with a starburst cutie mark, who would spend her entire day- save only classes, and those times when she would disappear for Celestia knows what- in the library, reading. And, occasionally, tending to her baby dragon.

This was Twilight Sparkle.

She would always do the same thing, without fail. Well, there was a tiny bit of variance whenever she reached the library, or would hit the end of her book, or want another reference- in that she’d go hunt for another book. This became so predictable that, once, I set up a secondary enchantment on my teddy bear, telepathically controlled by me- and, since I shared a class with her, I analyzed the class material… and predicted what books she’d go hunting for. I then followed her to the library… and congratulated myself when she accepted the book my teddy held out for her and went straight to her table, without browsing the shelves at all.

She was my foalhood crush. In my eyes, both at the time and now, looking back on it, I had over a thousand perfect dates, each and every one ruined by some letter that either arrived or needed to be sent. Every time one arrived, a courier would march in to deliver it to “Miss Twilight Sparkle”, and she would accept it in similar manner to how she accepted my teddy’s books every day: She’d just take it, and start reading. More often than not, the messenger would clear his throat, possibly prod her. She’d look up, blink like she’d forgotten he was there, and thank him for the delivery, before asking what he was waiting for.

Whenever she needed to send a letter… she’d write it, then tote it out of the room. I never followed her; she’d always start by looking left, right, and left again, just outside the door, before turning to go right. I’d always groan inside whenever I saw her pull out her quill and start scribbling on a scroll that weighed any less than twenty pounds- it meant she’d have to go and spend half an hour or so tracking down somepony to carry the letter.

I remember, there was just once that I managed to get her to break her pattern. No, twice, but they’re connected. I’d looked at her baby dragon- she really cares about him- and crafted a specialized enchantment. Then, one time when she went to send a letter- it was the third one of the day, so I had at least three hours before she would get back- I applied it to him.

Four hours later, she had another letter she needed to send… but, like me, she knew she’d never get a fourth sent today, so she set it aside. The last dozen times she’d done that, she’d taken it home with her, and simply not had it when she returned the next day.

The last seven or eight times she’d done that, her little drake- who had taken to seeing what he could burn with his yellow-orange flames- had slipped onto the table when she wasn’t looking, found it, and blown flame at it.

Exactly as I had expected, as an unavoidable side effect of my enchantment, his flames had turned green. The scroll had caught ablaze- and Twilight had noticed right about the time the sudden wave got halfway down the scroll; even the drake- Spike- had been surprised, letting out a yelp of alarm.

Twilight had stared as the last of the scroll, wax and all, vanished in a puff of green smoke that then disappeared into thin air. She’d spent the last half hour that the library was open, horn flashing intermittently, trying to figure out where it had gone. She’d ignored me when I approached, hoping she’d ask.

The very next time she had a letter to send, she’d turned towards the door- then frozen, and turned towards her dragon… and tentatively offered him the scroll. He’d blown his green flame on it, for the same result as the day before. She’d studied the effect, then scribbled down another message and vanished out the door with it, looking excited.

The thing was, the enchantment was a bit of an interesting one. I had given Spike the ability to send any message to its intended recipient by blowing flames on it. Nowadays, he still has that ability, but it’s no longer an enchantment- it seems he’s internalized the magic, enabling him to transport anything… and control whether his flames will transport whatever he’s blowing them on, or burn it. And the color of the flames. It’s really quite astounding.

But of course, it was not a one-way enchantment- if the receiving end was a unicorn, they could- in theory- catch onto the enchantment handle that floated around at the appearance location for a few seconds, anchor it, and use it to send a reply. Given that my enchantments seemed to be invisible to most other unicorns, I had been immensely surprised- just as surprised as Twilight, I think- when somepony did just that, about a week after the first letter. Twilight had been studying as usual, when Spike suddenly let out a massive belch, releasing a puff of green smoke that then formed up into a scroll. He still does that, though as it’s not from my enchantment anymore, I don’t know if it still works the same way. He tells me he can control who he sends stuff to, but he doesn’t get any indication of who’s sending him stuff, just what it is. He can also control whether he actually receives something someone is sending him or not, but hasn’t had occasion to refuse anything since the only one that’s ever sent him stuff is Celestia.

Anyways, Twilight had crawled slowly back to her table, deftly picked the scroll up, opened it, read it… then promptly scribbled another message and had him burn it. From that day forward, she never had to leave the room to deliver a message- nor were our silent dates interrupted by another messenger. She’d still occasionally send and receive messages, but those interruptions never bothered us.

Then, just days after Spike learned his first word- “Star”, the second half of my name- we both graduated… and I never thought I’d see her again. I regretted never exchanging so much as a single word with her; I had no clue where she might have gone, how to reach her.

But for as little as I had talked to her, I had come out of my shell enough to no longer be so frightened by ponies. I was still quite shy, definitely- but I was no longer afraid of any interaction whatsoever. As such, I was… functional, in society. Marginally. I was able to land myself a job without much difficulty- probably helped that it was at a library- and get an apartment. It wasn’t too great of an apartment, but it worked.

And Celestia, did it work. By the time I got comfortable with my routine, I had nearly everything in the apartment, up to and including the front door, enchanted to do my bidding. My bed would wake me up in the morning; my bathroom door would transform itself into a mirror so I could watch my manebrush brush my mane and tail all on its own. My stove, pots, and pans would cook breakfast by themselves, and have it ready right at the very moment I reached the kitchen. My teddy- I still have it- would hold whatever book I was reading most recently, so I could read it while my cutlery fed me of their own accord. My front door would then wave goodbye as I left, before locking itself. I remember more than one pony staring at it, though Ponyville ponies don’t stare when my door does that in Ponyville; apparently, the strange and unexpected is to be expected here.

When I got back home, it would get interesting again. The mailbox would hand me the day’s mail, and my front door would welcome me home, opening itself for me. If I felt like going shopping, my saddlebags would prepare themselves, and my teddy would offer them to me, after which I’d head out- and the door would wave, and welcome me home again when I got back. After any of that was over with, the teddy would take my saddlebags- if present- and go stow any groceries. If that wasn’t available for it to do, or once it finished that, it’d go grab my book again and hold it up for me to read while I ate dinner- again, lovingly prepared by the pots and pans themselves. Then I’d go to my study, deal with the mail, study for a while, maybe experiment some more, and finally go to bed, where my bed would sing me to sleep.

And repeat.

That’s all I needed, for a couple of years. Then… I’m not sure exactly what brought it on, but I felt the need to have another pony in my life. I remember spotting an advertisement for a penpal program on the corkboard in the library, and signing up for it.

I remember the details of the program very, very clearly. They’d send my mailing address- and basic bio, like a list of interests- to just one other pony… and they’d send me the mailing address and stuff of a second pony. Thus, in theory, I could get to know two other ponies.

It… didn’t quite work out that way. I never got anything from whoever got my address.

On the other hoof, I spent around six hours coming up with a decent initial letter- it was only three inches, or so, on a small scroll- to send to Bonbon, the one whose address I got. According to that bio, she was an earth pony mare who enjoys candy making, alchemy, and investigation.

It’s… an interesting set of interests.

What I got back a couple days later was alarming. It was long! She wrote two full pages about herself!

Fortunately, and this one was fortunate to me too, I could treat the letter almost like I do the books- read it, study it, formulate a response. I didn’t have to worry about unpredictable responses to my taking time to contemplate my response. I didn’t have to worry about any of that, allowing me to play the part of a social butterfly with relative ease.

Thinking back on it, I do believe that’s when my life truly got started. Bonbon was an amazing mare. She actually sympathized with me- I’d been afraid I’d never find anypony that could do that!

Then one day, a couple days after I sent around thirty pages- I didn’t count- detailing my enchantments around my house, she sent me an… odd request.

She wanted… enchanted vanilla extract. She wanted it to, when cooked into something sugary (to serve as the power source of the enchantment), work a very specific result, related to the muscle control of whoever ate it.

It took me three days to craft the enchantment, then I sent her the single, two ounce vial I had enchanted.

Three days after I sent it off, rather than the usual two, I earned a scolding from my front door for rushing; I’d crashed into it before it had time to open. But, I had a letter, from Bonbon. Once inside, I gave it to my teddy to hold while I ate dinner.

She’d started out by thanking me for the vanilla extract… before describing what she had done with it.

She’d told me that some of the processes were too dangerous, too secret, for her to reveal. But she’d eventually turned it into a nice, chocolate taffy.

A chocolate taffy that she’d fed to somepony else in town.

When I read that, I’d immediately worried that I’d helped her hurt somepony… but then she explained what it did.

That pony could see. Her normally uncontrollable eyes had suddenly gotten in line, behaved… and let her see where she was going. Her vision still wasn’t perfect, but she was no longer blind.

I actually remember dropping my jaw after that. I’d… cured the incurable. Well… I hadn’t yet, but at the time, nopony in Equestria knew how to help poor Derpy Hooves after that… Bonbon and Derpy both call it a ‘mishap’ with Doctor Hooves, but I think the term ‘disaster’ describes it more accurately. The effect had only lasted a few hours, but it was enough. Bonbon had speculated that repeated exposure to the enchantment, combined with the magic of the alchemy she’d worked into the candies, would be enough to make it last. And, as I didn’t- couldn’t have known then- I now know that it has. Derpy can see, twenty-four seven. Without having to regularly take her… candies. I still have difficulty processing that; it was candies, not medicine, that made her better.

In any case, at the bottom of her letter, she’d included a check for a rather substantial sum of bits.

We continued writing to each other after that, completely uninterrupted. It wasn’t too long later she asked for a manebrush that would record a spoken conversation- then, on command, regurgitate it. That one was easy, but she paid me handsomely for it, even though I never asked for money.

There were a few… other little gadgets she asked me to make. The quill that could write on multiple scrolls at once was a fun one; so was the quill that could duplicate an existing scroll. The book that could inconspicuously populate its own pages with the contents of another book was a little bit suspicious… and I drew my line at the magnifying glass that could look through walls. What was she using this stuff for?

She’d explained… and asked me to keep it secret. She’s a Secret Agent- and everything she’s asked me for, save only the vanilla extract, has been something she’s used extensively in her work. I swore for her that I would keep the secret for her, and enchanted her magnifying glass.

She’d then apologized for taking advantage of me so much- even though I wasn’t all that worried about it, as I had long since acquired more bits than I knew what to do with- and invited me to visit her in Ponyville sometime.

It took me about two weeks before I was willing to do that. I traveled down on the day before the nine hundred and ninety-ninth Summer Sun Celebration, met her at the station- the station at which she introduced me both to Lyra, her other penpal turned marefriend, and Derpy Hooves, who hugged and thanked me like crazy for the part I’d played in making the delicious candies that let her see straight.

I will admit, I was a little- well, alright, a lot- shy with them. Especially when the pegasus exploded all over me with her praise. But Bonbon was familiar; even in person, she tends to speak in a fairly specific, almost formulaic, manner. I now know that’s deliberate. She might not be a people pony, but she does know how to put the ponies around her at ease, and she is aware of my… difficulty. Still, though, she wasn’t nearly as scary as the other two so, once Bonbon sent Derpy on her way, I was able to calm down quite a bit. Lyra, while rather wildly unpredictable, did strike me immediately as a ‘people pony’- and did seem to grasp my issue fairly quickly, positioning herself on Bonbon’s other side as we walked, to minimize the required interaction with me. When she spoke to me directly, or expected an answer from me, she spoke carefully… and waited with deliberate patience, though unlike with Bonbon, I could tell it was deliberate. I think she was trying to help me feel more comfortable around her randomness.

It was another year after that- just after the Summer Sun Celebration- that I moved to Ponyville. It’s a nice little town; I’ve been here for almost a month and, while the strange and unexpected is indeed normal here, I’m absolutely loving this place.

And no, not just because of Twilight. I didn’t know she was living here until she knocked on my door to apologize for The Pink, who had apparently been on vacation in Cloudsdale with Rainbow when I visited last year. But she did, and when I opened the door, I immediately saw the recognition in her eyes- and it was clear to me that she understood me in a way that nobody else did.

Except Bonbon. I guess the grapevine hadn’t already told the spymare that I was in town, so Twilight had that pleasure- and Bonbon, naturally, knows me through and through. Turns out she’s actually been promoted from field agent to Agency management- and Lyra still knows nothing about any of the Agency business. So of course, Bonbon has been building that hydroelectric dam I mentioned earlier, and she positively jumped at the chance when Twilight suggested that I do the enchantment work instead of her.

And now I’m working with Twilight on the worldgate array. We’re not done yet, but Bonbon’s dam construction team- composed of almost three thousand ponies that I don’t think Twilight realized even existed until yesterday- has been reassigned to building the worldgate array.

Perhaps the strangest thing about it is that the instructions and original blueprints came from Celestia, yet Celestia says she doesn’t have a clue what it is?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Yes, Shooting Star is indeed a reader OC, who shares his name with his creator- both here on FimFiction and on my Discord server.

Chapter 2.2 - July 2010 - Bonbon - Origin

Entry: Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Hydroelectric dam.

Worldgate array.

Superconductive conduit.

Supercapacitor.

Worldwall Inspection Badge.

Worldgate Safety Necklace.

The instructions, blueprints, designs, and everything for all of these devices all came from Princess Celestia, to various ponies.

Yet… the Princess Celestia I know doesn’t believe in the Multiverse. She doesn’t believe in physical conduits for magic or other energies, either.

It makes no sense.

But we’re building them anyways. According to the instructions sent to us, which I have confirmed were sent by the legitimate Royalty of Equestria, we need to build these devices and find a new home for Equestria in some other universe, before ours collapses on us.

It’s about time we put the Agency’s true might to work, I suppose.

Over the last month, we built both the first two, and a fair number of the latter two. The middle two are components of all four of the above.

Interestingly, the various talents available in Ponyville were able to improve on every single one of the blueprints. The badges will inspect the worldwall in the other universe, and glow green if it’s stable or red if it’s collapsing.

They glow red in Equestria.

The necklaces will teleport us back home to Equestria if something happens.

Today, we opened the first thousand portals, and sent five ponies through each one.

Five seasoned agents. I’ve called almost eight percent of the Agency Reserve to active duty for this mission, and intend to increase that as needed.

Almost a thousand of those ponies rifted back within the first few minutes with their necklaces, and another two thousand returned from their portals fairly quickly. Six hundred and twelve portals were then closed as the worlds they went to were either dangerous to ponies, or featured unstable worldwalls.

Less than two hours later, a further three hundred eighteen portals were closed as inhospitable- some had no magic, some had no food, some had no light. At least one had no ground- our Agents spent a full hour trying to find the end of an invisible platform in what appeared to be an endless sky.

But we’ve had affirmative, peaceful contact with unfamiliar beings in six worlds already- an existing civilization. It so happens that these six worlds are also six of the ones that transform our bodies to match the locals when we cross, but that’s okay.

It is the Agency’s job to keep Equestria safe.

And if keeping Equestria safe requires moving Equestria to another world, we will do it.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, this journal exists entirely inside my head. My counselor- Lyra- knows nothing of the Agency, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can. That said, she has recommended journaling to help me deal with my PTSD. I wonder if journaling in my head like this will help…?

Author's Note

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Chapter 3.1 - October 2011 - Lord Voldemort - Origin

Entry: Monday, October 31st, 2011 - Halloween Day

I heard a prophecy.

Well, technically I heard it a couple years ago by now, but today it’s relevant. The Potters went into hiding by way of the Fidelius Charm a little over a year ago now- but they don’t realize that their milkman is actually me. The Fidelius Charm is amusingly easy to defeat; all you need is a little truth potion.

But anyways, back to the prophecy. Severus Snape- now Professor Snape- only overheard a part of it, and he’s not nearly as good at Occlumency as he thinks he is.

He’s a lot better at it than Dumbledore thinks he is, though. And a great actor- when he delivered that partial prophecy to me, I told him outright that it sounded like someone was being born that I was prophesied to battle, and either win or lose. After a couple of months, we determined there were two people it could be referring to- Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter. Both of which would die very quick deaths if that battle happened while they were still babies.

But of course, I’ve always had a silver tongue- and for as infallible as the Unspeakables think their spellwork is, it’s really not. It’s almost hilariously easy to get a Prophecy out of the Hall of Prophecy- you just need a lot of patience.

So, while serving as milkman to both the Longbottoms and the Potters, I heard the full prophecy.

I wasn’t prophesied to fight him- not at all.

Merely to mark him my equal.

I spoke with Severus extensively on that topic, and we eventually decided to target the Potters- and use that as an excuse to get him on the ‘good side’.

There are times I wish my reign of terror wasn’t of terror, but that’s what the people I’ve been able to recruit have insisted upon- torture and… amusement.

This was supposed to be a war on the wizards that would deprive a child of his already lacking choices, not on innocent bystanders and muggles! As such, I am quite frequently horrified by what I have created, but have little way to express that.

With Snape firmly on the ‘good side’, and Dumbledore himself inventing defenses for my Death Eaters whenever I eventually fall, all I need to do is kick the bucket- except, I’m prophesied to not kick the bucket.

And if I go to one of the two children, I’m prophesied to not kill them, even if I try.

So I wonder what happens if I use the Killing Curse to mark the child, and ensure I’m in the rebound path? What will the prophecy do then?

There’s only one way to find out.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Chapter two was around 80% introducing a reader OC that doesn't play a major part- an adjustment to an introduction I wrote for him years ago. It's great that it finally saw the light of day, so I can stop feeling guilty for hiding it, but it won't be interesting for very many readers of this story- and the rest of the chapter I found inadequate. So I am unsatisfied with the length of chapter two... So here's Chapter Three. It's also really short, but asks some very important questions. And I'll be daily-releasing until I am satisfied, which is probably going to be with Chapter Six.

Chapter 3.2 - October 2011 - Harry Potter

Entry: Monday, October 31st, 2011 - Halloween

Aaah. Oooo. Eheheheh. Eeeee. Awaaaah!

Author's Note

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And God Said,
Let There Be Baby Noises!

Chapter 4.2 - November 2011 - Petunia Dursley - Origin

Entry: Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

Lily is dead.

Her son was dumped on my porch.

What kind of idiot leaves a baby on the porch on a cold, rainy November night?

Vernon checked the security footage, but it seems they thought far enough ahead to knock out all the lights. We got only a couple faint flickers and a faint audio track that Vernon is getting enhancement software for. It’s in there, we’re certain of it, but it’s faint enough the background noise drowned out the words when we simply turned up the volume.

I hope we can get names.

Because of the letter.

The letter that told me my sister was dead.

Whoever wrote that letter is so dead. He should have knocked, and maybe told me to my face, not written me a sleazy letter!

They didn’t even bother to sign it.

Vernon has sworn to ‘stamp out that dangerous nonsense’. While I can’t disagree that the magical world is a bunch of dangerous nonsense, I am aware it can’t be simply stamped out.

And Harry.

Harry is all I have left of my sister.

My beloved little sister never came back from Hogwarts that first year. The person that came back was a facsimile of her- already bewitched to do some old coot’s bidding.

To do James Potter’s bidding.

And Harry…

I pray he follows after his mother, not his father.

And I will ensure not that we stamp out the magic, but that I raise him to be skeptical.

That he be the kind of child that will force these wizards to play the long game to get him.

That he never be hoodwinked by those Black Wizards.

Especially when they wear other colors.

I wonder if this Dark Lord Voldemort was actually as dark as they claimed.

Sure, he killed Lily… but she was already dead, so maybe he just put her out of her misery?

And he didn’t kill Harry, instead he merely gave him just enough of a cut to make whoever send him to me.

I will make them pay for harming my family.

But… how should I do it?

The letter basically commands us to abuse Harry.

It doesn’t say as much, but it’s between the lines.

The lines of that P.S. that says our abuse will go unnoticed, no matter what happens.

And they call themselves Light.

So how best to do it?

If we don’t abuse him, they will come to force us.

I wonder… is it possible to treat him just right that he develops that skepticism as a self-defense mechanism?

We will have to be very careful.

Child Services would have our heads if they knew we were doing this.

Entry: Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

We got the audio enhancement software.

And it worked.

We were able to listen to the entire conversation.

There were three people.

Professor McGonagall seemed to be the most sane. Most of what she was doing was complaining to Dumbledore about various things the Wizards are doing wrong. Being in the streets without wearing ‘muggle’ clothes, creating shooting stars down in Kent, taking Harry to me and my husband because we’re so very not magical… dumping Harry on my doorstep with only a letter. I quote, “A letter? Really, Dumbledore? You think you can explain all this in a letter?”

That said, Professor McGonagall definitely does her research, despite initially not having known why Dumbledore had planned to visit. Apparently, she can turn into a cat or something, and had been watching us all day, after hearing that he was planning to come. And her opinion was that “You couldn’t find two people who are less like us!” Given how easily she accepted Dumbledore’s declarations, though, I suspect she might be bewitched.

Hagrid seemed to be in the middle, as far as sanity. He didn’t oppose any of the insanity that Dumbledore proffered, but he also had the sense to borrow a flying motorcycle instead of walking halfway across the country. I talked to Vernon about him, and we think Hagrid is ignorant muscle. A blind follower. He obviously genuinely cares about Harry quite a bit- he wears his heart on his sleeve, as they would say. He’s also very loud, relative to the others- and the only one with lines we could make out without audio enhancement.

Professor Dumbledore, however… is definitely a Black Wizard.

He dumped Harry on our doorstep. Insisted it was the best place for him, wrote that threatening letter.

He told me Lily was dead in a letter, rather than in person.

When McGonagall asked if he could do something about the scar on Harry’s forehead, he said he wouldn’t even if he could, because they can be handy.

I think that means there’s something horrible in that scar, that he doesn’t want anyone knowing about.

I wonder if surgery would take care of it…?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

No more baby noises!

Chapter 5.1 - July 2012 - Petunia Dursley

Entry: Thursday, July 12th, 2012

We’ve been taking Harry to doctors and hospitals for the last few months, and several of them agreed that the lasting inflammation and strong discoloration in his scar are decisively unnatural. It took them a long time to decide that physical removal, rather than antibiotics or whatever, was the way to go.

The surgery was earlier today.

I knew when it was over because I could hear the screaming.

And not Harry’s screaming- rather, a bone-chilling scream of pain, then screams of fright from various doctors or nurses.

When the shaken doctors returned Harry to me, they explained what had happened.

They had removed the skin containing the scar.

Then they had inspected the wound left, found no sign of deeper infection, and sewed it shut.

As they were cleaning up from that, the severed piece of skin with the scar in it had done… something.

A great black phantom had risen out of it, screaming in pain.

It had been sudden and terrifying.

But then it had gone.

They also noticed that the inflammation on that skin went away just seconds later, despite already being separated from Harry.

Take that, Fumblemore.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Whoops, I missed a day. Very short one today, a perfect example of why I'm lumping 2 through 6 together into an accelerated release schedule.

Chapter 6.1 - July 2015 - Petunia Dursley

Entry: Friday, July 31st, 2015

Vernon decided to teach Harry to cook today. It didn’t end well, and not for the reason you might think- not for the reason I expected this morning. And the part that gets me is that I warned him.

I warned Vernon not to go too far.

Yet he did.

I watched the recorded footage from the kitchen cam we’ve been using to make sure Harry is stealing the right foods during the night to get a healthy diet.

The poor boy had all sorts of injuries. Burns, kicks to the face and ribs- he had at least two dozen broken bones when she arrived, and Vernon had still been going at it.

And she… well, she was about the same age as Harry. Popped out of nowhere, right next to him, then… trashed Vernon. I still remember the scene clearly- at that point, I was in the hall, approaching to make sure Vernon wasn’t going too far.

Petunia sighed, walking briskly towards the door. It sounded like Vernon was letting loose- and he usually went too far when he did that.

Quite suddenly, there was a high, terrified squeak that wasn’t high enough to be Harry… then there was a sound like a cannon and the whole house shook to the backdrop of the sounds of shattering dishes.

Then she heard Dudley’s scream of terror.

She bolted forwards, thrust her way through the unlocked door. Had a cabinet-?

No. A cabinet had not collapsed.

The kitchen table had. Dudley was still seated at his spot- but the table was no longer in front of him. It had been snapped in two by something landing across the middle of it- by Vernon landing across it. He was face-down in the valley formed by the two halves, bleeding and unmoving, his arms both twisted behind him in unnatural ways. Bits of glass, bacon, and eggs splattered all over the ceiling and walls indicated that the table had been set when he’d been slammed down on it.

Near the stove, Harry was standing, mostly unhurt and quickly less hurt, thanks to the girl standing in front of him, straightening bones, vanishing bruises, and even mending clothes with the smallest wave of her hand.

“Remember, ask Gringotts about your Estate Guardian,” the girl told Harry… then she vanished into thin air.

Continued: Friday, July 31st, 2015

The ambulance crew were amazed that Vernon had survived being used as a club. He’s at the hospital now; they said he’ll probably live, but won’t be leaving their care any time soon.

True to Dumbledore’s letter a few years back, though, nobody even bat an eye at Harry’s clothes- Dudley’s old castoffs.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

You'll notice a rather larger timeskip than last time.

Chapter 6.2 - July 2015 - Helia Black - Origin

Entry: Friday, July 31st, 2015

Vernon punished.

One down, more to go.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

I like Helia.

Chapter 7.1 - August 2015 - Bonbon

Entry: Saturday, August 1st, 2015

The impossible happened this morning.

We had a visitor.

We specifically calibrated the portals not to allow anything not originally from this side to cross.

We heavily guard all of our portals.

Yet, we still had a visitor.

A visitor that completely bypassed all of our guards, both in the Array and on the other side of each portal.

A visitor from a world whose portal is one-way.

A visitor that nopony noticed walking through town, yet she still rang my doorbell this morning.

A visitor unaffected by the transformation effect between our world and the one she came from.

A visitor from World 3DB.

A visitor that asked for Agent Sweetie Drops’ help, by name, to my face. With a look in her eyes that told me instantly that she knew she was speaking to Agent Sweetie Drops.

A visitor that picked the perfect time to arrive and make that request, since Lyra had just vanished into the bathroom.

A visitor that gave me a handful of papers.

A visitor that didn’t wait for an answer, simply disappeared once I had accepted the papers.

When I asked her how she got here, she said the rules are different for beings composed of magic.

When Discord arrived seconds after she left, he said he’d felt the signature of a trauma avatar- and the fury burning in his eyes was quite unusual as he asked if I knew where it had come from.

I could only give him the world designation.

She had introduced herself, after all.

Bonbon opened the front door. “Who is-?”

“Hi. I’m from world 3DB, and I need Sweetie Drops’ help.”

Bonbon stared at the tiny human girl for a couple seconds, and the stack of papers she was holding out. “H-How?”

“The rules are different for beings composed of magic, but I still need Sweetie Drops’ help.”

She accepted the papers and glanced at them- looked like legal records of some kind- but when she looked back up again, the girl was gone.

Continued: Saturday, August 1, 2015

In other news, today is the day that we finally got to meet the Princess that has been making Celestia look like an idiot by not telling her about the Royal Orders she’s been writing.

When I reached the portal array to check the security after our visitor, she was there. Princess Luna, in all her glory- and combat armor. Apparently, she detected the apparition as well, but was too far away to pin down the exact location or origin, beyond that it was from another world. She said Discord was right to call her a Trauma Avatar, since they spawned out of the hearts of badly abused children with the sole purpose of protecting those children, but most worlds called them Guardian Angels because they were fierce protectors, and often extremely deadly.

That one would ask for help- much less from the Agency- had her flying into a barely-suppressed rage. Once she read the papers I had brought- which turned out to be details on the legal system that our Agents hadn’t been able to gather- her rage cooled, but she declared war.

It visibly took all of her willpower to keep from throwing herself through the portal immediately to go perform some punishment when I told her which world the girl said she was from.

She then told me that it wasn’t going to be a fighting war, likely, but a legal war. These papers came from four or five different governments, and detailed a large number of problems with the legal systems of the same… which apparently had certain children abandoned to highly abusive guardians.

She also told me that it is incredibly rare for these Trauma Avatars to seek assistance at all, even if the needed protection was political in nature- and even rarer for them to seek to protect someone other than the one they spawned from, or to seek to change a harmful law.

Add that to the fact that this particular avatar was so powerful Luna had felt it from Cloudsdale, and we have to work very carefully in that world. There is a threat there capable of threatening an utterly fearless Trauma Avatar that was more powerful than any hundred Palace Mages- more powerful even than Celestia Herself, though Luna might still have the edge over the Avatar in absolute power levels.

The thought is terrifying.

I have called another fifteen percent of Reserve Agents back to active duty today, just over doubling the Worldgate Array staff roster. Most of these additions will be focused on World 3DB, a few going through and the rest helping manage the operation. We cannot afford a mistake.

Twilight hasn’t arrived yet today- it’s still just past seven in the morning. Won’t she be surprised?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Chapter 7.2 - August 2015 - Garrick Ollivander - Origin

Entry: Saturday, August 1, 2015

The unexpected happened this morning, at about seven.

My first clue was the gentle knock on my bedroom door when I was just finishing getting dressed. Querying the wards indicated that nobody was in my shop- there should have been nobody at that door.

So of course I had my wand ready when I opened it.

Standing at the door… had been a little girl. Just five years old or so, but with a long, black ponytail.

She only looked up at me… then reached back and pulled her ponytail off as if it was a wig, leaving long black hair waving gently down to her waist, no longer contained in a ponytail.

Then she silently handed me the ponytail, bound in a hair tie.

And as soon as I took it, she vanished into thin air.

I spent much of the day inspecting the hair- which is immensely powerful, but doesn’t respond to wand core strength testing.

I have, of course, determined what it is.

It is not Witch or Wizard hair, which makes for terrible cores. It is Guardian Angel hair, willing-given, and will serve as an interface between the magic of the wand and the user of the wand. It will increase the power of any wand whose core it is joined with at least tenfold- and it will also give that wand an extra specialization towards protection and defense. For as long as the Guardian Angel in question is alive, I would also expect the wand to exhibit automatic defense characteristics, possibly even casting on its own to protect its master. That is something that phoenix core wands are already capable of, though that is so rare it’s really just a myth, legend, and rumor.

This hair will render every wand capable of it.

It is also worth note that any wand I bond this hair to will refuse to bond with a witch or wizard that the Angel does not- or would not, if they are already gone- consider worthy of protection. This refusal to bond will go so far as to make the wand utterly unusable to unworthy masters- including to their bonded master, should said master become unworthy after bonding, and to make them utterly loyal to a worthy master, defeating the potential negative side effects from many woods or cores.

I have checked my records. Throughout the two and a half millennia that my family has been in the wand making industry, Guardian Angel Hair has been merged with precisely three wands of Ollivander make. All three were exemplary wands, but the hairs in them had been provided alongside wood and cores, all destined for one master: The Angel’s Host, the child whose trauma spawned them.

But this hair? I have been given over a hundred thousand strands. The Angel obviously wants me to install them in many wands- perhaps they are a new kind of Angel, seeking to protect many, or perhaps their Host is deceased?

Not once in history has an Angel outlived their Host, after all. Angels usually die off- accidental, or more often exorcized- within a week of spawning.

Or maybe something is happening which is far beyond even me.

No instructions were provided for the materials or properties of the wands the hair is to be bonded with.

I will keep this hair in my workshop, and bond it to any wand I feel should have it.

Second Entry: Saturday, August 1, 2015

I thought I was done with discovering earlier, when I wrote that entry. However, as I carried the hair across the shop floor to my workshop, several wands responded to its presence, causing their boxes to stick themselves out of the masses on the shelves. These wands have joined the hairs in my workshop; I will bond the first tomorrow, as it’s past dinner now. My brief investigation indicated that these wands have an extremely high affinity- even attachment- to the hair, which indicates to me that the Angel considers the Wands’ yet-to-be-chosen masters to be not just worthy of protection, but needing of protection.

I have made note of the wand serial numbers, and will consider their buyers very closely, in case I need to notify Director Bones of an issue.

Interestingly, one of these wands was of Holly and Phoenix, eleven inches, nice and supple. But that’s not the interesting part- that is that this wand happens to be the brother of the one I once sold to the boy destined to become the Dark Lord Voldemort.

I should probably pay special attention to the buyer of that wand.

Entry: Tuesday, August 4, 2015

I just finished bonding the Holly and Phoenix, Voldemort-Brother wand to an Angel Hair- and got the sudden, distinct feeling that I was not to inform Professor Dumbledore of the wand’s modification or sale. This was a very strict, angry feeling, passed to me through the wand itself- but I believe it originated from the Angel.

I believe I will be a lot less generous to the Leader of the Light going forwards, if a Guardian Angel has reason to oppose him. They are infinitely courteous and polite to all who do not threaten their charge, after all, and it was an angry feeling, such as Guardians have been known to direct towards their enemies- for the total of the two or three second life spans those enemies usually have after the Guardian sees fit to designate them as such.

There is something going on here which is much larger than me, and definitely unusual, even with regards to the Guardians.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Now our favorite wandmaker is in on the ruse.

Chapter 7.4 - August 2015 - Petunia Dursley

Entry: Wednesday, August 5, 2015

We heard from the hospital today.

Vernon has been stabilized.

The doctors said they’re amazed that he’s still alive, after breaking over half the bones in his entire body… but he’s never going to be the same. He’s lost his left arm and at least some of the motor control in his right foot- it’s unlikely he’s ever going to drive again.

And it is going to be months before they can release him from the Intensive Care Ward.

Dudley also came home in tears today, moaning about scary girls.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

It was August, Dudley wasn't in school. He was engaging in Harry Hunting, all the way down at the young age of 5.

Chapter 7.5 - August 2015 - Helia Black

Entry: Saturday, August 1, 2015

Assistance acquired.

One down, more to go.

Entry: Sunday, August 2, 2015

Fawkes protected.

One down, more to go.

Entry: Monday, August 3, 2015

Enrollment complete.

One down, more to go.

Entry: Tuesday, August 4, 2015

My magic has been imbued into the wand destined for Harry.

One down, more to go.

Entry: Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Dudley slapped.

One down, more to go.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

If you check the dates, you'll notice they coincide with a couple of the entries from other characters.

Chapter 8.3 - September 2015 - Arienne Fox - Origin

Entry: Thursday, September 24th, 2015

Dear Diary,

Sienna told Mom and me about a girl named Helia yesterday. Apparently, Helia stopped Marietta from blocking her into the wall. It wouldn’t be the first time Marietta has tried something, but I think it was the first time she might have hurt Sienna. In the previous times, she merely slapped things out of Sienna’s hands. Or mine, she has also targeted me on occasion. This time, I think she was trying to make Sienna fall. Sienna said Helia was older than her, so Mom asked me to look for her too. I am in the year above Sienna, after all.

I did not find her at breaks. I did not find her at lunch. Instead, she found me. Marietta was angry about something and tried to shove me into the end of a table. That would have hurt- but Helia was there. I do not know where she came from, but she stopped Marietta like Mom stops Sienna. Then she picked Marietta up and sat her down hard on the floor. Marietta seemed angry but scared. I asked Helia what her name was, and she introduced herself as Helia Jennifer Black.

Then she said she had work to do, and was gone.

I still do not know where she went, nor how she went.

I told Mom about it. Mom said the Blacks are Dukes and also members of the hidden Magical Community. She encouraged me to befriend her, because the Magical Community is so hidden they don’t listen to us.

Miscreants.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

I think I'm going to do away with the journal format for future stories. It works as a novelty, I suppose, but it's a real pain to actually manage, and possibly an even bigger one to read.

Do you think this is something that an British almost-six-year-old in Arienne's position might produce? If not, is it too articulate or not articulate enough?

Chapter 8.4 - September 2015 - Vanessa Fox - Origin

Entry: Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

Sienna had a very interesting story for me when she came home from school today. Some girl called Helia apparently ‘picked up and put down’ a much older girl named Marietta that was trying to bully Sienna.

I asked Sienna’s bodyguards- and while they were unable to identify Helia, they were able to describe her. Roughly five years old and probably in Arienne’s year, one year ahead of Sienna, she’s also insanely strong for her age- she picked up the overweight twelve-year-old that was Marietta with one hand, then tossed her down on the ground like so much rubbish.

All despite not looking like she has an ounce of muscle on her frame.

It was no wonder the teacher didn’t believe Marietta’s accusations- the tiny girl didn’t look like she could have lifted Sienna, much less the pubescent Marietta, who must have weighed around four times as much as Helia.

Marietta’s attempts to bully my girls have been concerning up to this point- but not quite bad enough for me to do something about it. I think this was probably the tipping stone, if Sienna and her guards are right about what Marietta was trying to do. The Guards are checking the records for Helia’s identity, but with only her first name to go by and not knowing how it’s spelled, they’re not likely to find anything.

Entry: Thursday, September 24th, 2015

Arienne had an encounter with Helia today.

Helia Jennifer Black. Exactly as I would have expected from Arienne, she specifically asked for Helia’s full name, and made sure to remember it.

Apparently, Marietta was angry over Helia’s protecting Sienna, so decided to give Arienne a shove in a most unkind direction. Arienne’s guards reported the incident to me in full color, indicating that had Helia not intervened, Arienne would likely have been badly injured- probably a broken floating rib. As it was, they had a sneaking suspicion that Marietta had been at least lightly injured, as Helia had only barely lifted the girl before forcing her to sit down, hard. It was like Helia weighed three times as much as Marietta, rather than the other way around.

But of course, Helia Jennifer… Black.

Dukes of Hogsmeade and Kent and Strathern, Earls of Surrey.

And most importantly, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black is a politically powerful House in the magical world.

Yet Helia is attending a non-magical school?

Something must have happened to the House of Black. Maybe Helia is a squib? But that wouldn’t explain how both Arienne and her Guards said she appeared and disappeared both out of and back into nowhere.

I have asked both of my girls to make contact with and befriend Helia if they can, and told them why- though I think Sienna might still be too young to truly understand.

Entry: Friday, September 25th, 2015

Sienna is rather understandably distraught about not being able to find her savior, Helia, today. I explained it as best as I could to her four-year-old mind, but I don’t think she really understands.

In other news, the SIS was able to confirm: Helia’s home address on file with the school… is one of our known magical addresses. One of those places that appear on camera, but we can’t see in person.

Incidentally, the address is identical to the one on file for the seat of the House of Black, both magical and non-magical sides: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

In other news, Marietta has been suspended, and is facing further punishment. One does not make an attempt to injure the Crown Princess, successful or otherwise, without facing the music.

Entry: Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

I got more strange reports about Helia today. Sienna encountered her again- this time protecting her from a teacher’s accidental fall due to a dropped book. Neither of the girls nor the teacher were harmed- though casually catching a hundred-kilogram teacher, lifting them into the air, and putting them back on their feet is no mean feat for a five-year-old with no discernible muscle. No wonder the teacher was staring- so were Sienna’s guards!

Sienna apparently understood when I told her the Blacks were important, but not why, so she asked Helia… and reportedly, Helia refused to tell her, on the grounds that it shouldn’t be spoken in public.

This is definite confirmation that she’s magical, or at least familiar with magic. Yet, Sienna’s Guards said the way it was spoken made it sound like she knew Sienna was allowed to know.

Sienna also eagerly asked Helia about where she went over lunch or breaks- and her answer was… concerning, to Sienna, her guards, and me as well:

She has ‘work to do’. She refused to specify any further than that.

What work does a five-year-old have to do?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

And here we have the largest section of the chapter. In other news, can you guess what Vanessa's position is? Not that it's very hard, she does basically everything short of spelling it out herself...

Chapter 9.1 - October 2020 - Arienne Fox

Entry: Monday, October 12, 2020

Today was a very important day.

It’s my birthday. My eleventh birthday. And this year, I finally managed to invite Helia!

Up until today, I never understood why she was so skittish.

But today, I do.

After my party, Helia took me aside and told me some things. A lot of things. I… I’m still having trouble making sense of it.

And of course I’ve told Mom, and directly asked the SIS to look into it.

Because apparently, Helia wasn’t avoiding us- she was simply doing her job. She refused to say what was taking so much of her time over the first two years, when she was only ever at school for classes or to stop bullies or accidents in their tracks, but she told me about her ongoing job.

She’s not just a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

She’s the Acting Head of House.

And she’s been managing the affairs of the House.

“So, uh, why the Acting Head?”

“Because I’m technically only Heiress Apparent- but Lord Sirius is currently incarcerated in Azkaban Wizard Prison, so the Acting Headship falls to me.”

Arienne blinked. “Doesn’t an Azkaban sentence automatically forfeit the Headship?”

Helia nodded. “It does, but he was never sentenced- he’s still pending trial.”

“What.”

“To make matters worse, I brought that to the attention of a few highly-placed officials in the magical government a few years ago, but nothing happened.”

“Maybe they’ll listen once you go to Hogwarts?”

Helia snorted. “They won’t care any more than they already do- and I won’t be going to Hogwarts. You might, though.”

“You won’t? But aren’t you a magical?”

She chuckled. “I’m technically not human. But that’s beside the point- Hogwarts will be inviting me, but I’ll be refusing them. I’d rather get a non-magical education. What about you?”

“Me?” She blinked, then snorted. “As if. I’m a muggle.”

“You’re a muggle-born,” Helia corrected. “You're magical too- you and Sienna both. I can feel it.”

“... Eh?”

Entry: Tuesday, October 13, 2020

The SIS said today that their preliminary review of the records was not able to conclusively confirm or deny Helia’s claim that I’m magical. They’re doing a more in-depth examination, but it’s likely to take weeks- or even months.

I’ve thought back over as much as I can remember, and… I also couldn’t conclusively rule it out, or confirm it.

So I decided to try and confirm it for myself.

I’m magical alright.

I can’t think of any other reason I’d be able to make my pen fly into my hand at will. No, not just into my hand- and also not just my pen. It took some effort to get it working, but I can make almost anything fly. In almost any way I want.

Even myself.

Mom walked in on me when I was lying on my bed, surrounded by pillows that were floating in the air.

I told her Helia was right. As if she couldn’t see it already.

I asked her what we’ll do about it, and she said she’s not sure yet.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

With a five-year gap since the last chapter, Arienne is now celebrating her 11th birthday... and while I'm reasonably certain she won't be as articulate as the 27-year-old me that wrote this chapter, the difference isn't nearly large enough that I'll be able to emulate it either accurately or consistently.

Chapter 9.2 - October 2020 - Helia Black

Entry: Monday, October 12, 2020

It’s been a long time since I last documented anything in a journal, hasn’t it?

The first two years of my existence were bound up in that drive to protect Harry. For those two years, I wasn’t a thinking being- I was simply a computer, deciding what was best and acting on it. Absolutely everything was calculated to protect Harry, all the way down to stopping that bully- who has since been expelled- from hurting the Princesses.

That one… was indirect. The Princesses are both magical, and they both have powerful wellsprings. I set them up to be protected against the harmful British Wizarding Geas, then established contact with a plan to send them to Harry when they went to Hogwarts- which would see the Crown investigating his situation, and joining in my effort as a matter of course.

But nowadays? After those two years… I ran out of immediate things to do to protect him, even indirectly. I had to do… nothing, just wait.

So that’s what I did, for about two months. I continued to attend school with the Princesses, as part of that ongoing effort, and I continued to manage the Black Family Affairs as part of another; the better off the House of Black, the larger of a hammer the House will be if I have occasion to use my Acting Headship of it to protect him.

At the end of those months, I finally began to think. I learned, I grew, I became a true, thinking being. I’m still a magical construct, known in this world as a Guardian Angel and the other as a Trauma Avatar, but now I’m a thinking being.

And I care about the law.

One of the first acts I did, back then, was to alert Bonbon to the massive clash between magical and non-magical laws in this world. I still think that was one of the best things I could have done- even if my failure to conceal or inhibit my signature when I crossed the worldwall kicked over a rather larger wasp nest than I wanted to.

That said, upon reevaluation after gaining thought, that same failure was probably also a good thing, even if I regretted it for two full years; the residents of the world recognized me in an instant, and a few of my unique qualities, and that combined with the information I had deliberately provided- excerpts from a few law books, really- to tell them what they were dealing with.

What they are helping me fight.

After a manner, at least. They don’t know any of the specifics, not even now- and I don’t think it’d be a good idea to tell them. Even I can’t identify all of my enemies; there’s just so many of them, scattered around the world. I imagine that’s probably why my kind usually gets exorcized; in that unthinking protector state, we simply punish or destroy every enemy we come across… then once the initial protection is complete, we mostly just get in the way. Probably the only reason I didn’t destroy Vernon in my first few seconds was that I could sense Dumbledore’s wards- and I knew that destroying Vernon would call down far worse upon my charge.

And jeopardize my mission, by making Dumbledore aware of my presence.

But now, I am a thinking being. When I encounter an enemy… I can leave them standing. I can get them arrested and imprisoned, destroy their minds, rather than converting them into chunky salsa.

I can punish them.

I can care.

Ever since I started thinking, I also started eating. Being a magical construct, I technically don’t need to- but it offers a certain amount of security that I really should have gotten started with while still unthinking. That is to say, now that I’ve been eating for a couple of years, I have an actual, physical body, not just the magical projection of one. This does slow my apparition down; I can no longer jump a hundred times per second, but only about eight. It also makes it much harder to hide my presence from detection wards like those in Ollivander’s Wands. However, it renders me immune to exorcism and naturally masks my signature- makes me look human. At this point, even if I went to St. Mungo’s Hospital and had them do a full series, they wouldn’t be able to tell that I am anything other than an ordinary human.

But of course, I still exist to protect Harry Potter. A national hero, with global enemies.

I am just more capable of doing it.

As far as my kind go, I am extremely unusual, to the point where I do not believe any like me have ever existed before. That’s because Harry enjoys the Blessing of a Mother’s Sacrifice- which means I carry not only a portion of his heart and soul, but his mother’s entire heart and soul as well. That’s okay, because for as long as I am alive, Harry is completely immune to death- which was the only thing Lily Evans’ heart and soul could offer any level of protection against before I spawned.

The thing about Lily Evans… most people didn’t realize that she was the sort of woman to get what she wanted, no matter what. Well, not quite, I suppose, but she was seriously too Slytherin to be sorted into Slytherin- she got Gryffindor because she wanted Gryffindor, and the Hat even believed she was a genuine Gryffindor!

Really too bad that James Potter slipped Amortentia into her drink on Halloween of her first year. That bottled up most of her deviousness, but some was still exposed.

And now it is all exposed in me.

Unfortunately, though, I cannot do any more to protect Harry until he asks the Goblins of Gringotts about his estate guardian. When he does, they will discover that he has not been made aware of his estate prior to his tenth birthday, which is a violation of Goblin Law that will see the Estate Guardian Albus Dumbledore forfeiting that position. Harry will then be asked to designate a proxy, and I can already feel that he will designate me as that proxy.

The moment I am Lord Regent Potter- a misleading title, seeing as how I’m female- I will use the power of a Regent to demand access to the illegally-sealed, unexecuted Wills of the late Lord and Lady Potter. I don’t know what they contain, but I feel certain they will offer at least some level of protection that I cannot.

He will also undoubtedly want to hear the words of his mother.

As for what happens after that? I don’t know yet.

I retain the ability to think on my feet with a much greater depth of thought than most people sleeping on a problem, thanks to a majority of my mind still working like a magical computer, so I should be able to come up with a new plan basically the moment I hear the contents of the Wills.

All that said… I still don’t know why I am a Black. Perhaps the Wills will explain it?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

And now Helia is more articulate than a robot! And we know a bit more about what she is.

Chapter 10 - July 2021 - The Letters from No One

“Get the mail, Dudley.”

“Make Harry get it.”

“Get the mail, Harry.”

“Make Dudley get it.”

“Poke him with your Smelting Stick, Dudley.”

Harry dodged the stick and went to get the mail. On the doormat was three things- a postcard from Aunt Marge, a brown paper envelope that looked like a bill, and…

He paused, studying the heavy parchment envelope with the purple wax seal. It was addressed to his cupboard… with no stamp.

“Hurry up, boy,” Vernon called from the kitchen. “What are you doing, checking for letterbombs?”

Harry snorted. “Yup, and found one, too.” He carried it all back to the kitchen. “Looks like Marge is ill,” he informed Vernon, handing him all of the mail. “Not sure what the brown envelope is, but the last one seems to be for me.”

Vernon spat out his orange juice. “Who’d be writing to you?” he demanded.

Harry shrugged. “No idea. But they can’t be bothered to get my name right, so I figure they’re not worth my time.”

He glared at the parchment envelope, then looked up. “What do you mean, they can’t get your name right?”

He grinned. “I mean, my name’s Freak Ishness, isn’t it?”

“It’s Harry and you know it!”

He shrugged. “Not to anyone that can send a hand-addressed letter to my cupboard without a stamp and not think anything’s wrong it’s not.”

The silence held for about two seconds.

“Let me read it!” Dudley demanded.

“There’s another one! Mr. H Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, Four, Privet Drive-!”

Vernon leaped from his seat and charged down the hall towards Dudley, who was getting the mail.

Harry only looked up. “Does it have a stamp?” he called.

There was a lot of scuffling from down the hall, then Vernon finally emerged back into the kitchen with a parchment envelope held high out of Dudley’s reach, evidently trying to decide what to do with it.

“Does it have a stamp?” Harry asked.

Vernon turned to glare at him. “What does it matter to you?”

Harry shrugged. “Does it have one?”

He looked at it. “... No.”

“Burn it,” Harry opined. “If they can’t be bothered to send it properly, I can’t be bothered to read it.”

Vernon snorted.

The next morning, the mail arrived right into Vernon’s lap while Harry was serving him ‘breakfast in bed’- he’d camped out on the doormat with a sleeping bag.

He had to raise his eyebrows. There were three parchment envelopes now, each addressed in green ink. “Do they have stamps?” he asked, even as Vernon started ripping them to shreds.

Vernon paused to check. “No.”

“Burn ‘em,” Harry opined.

Vernon was stoking the letter fire in the grate when Harry walked into the kitchen.

“Found these in the bathroom,” Harry informed him, flicking two more letters into the blaze. “No stamps.” He sighed. “I guess nailing up the mail slot won’t stop them.”

“Good morning,” Harry greeted. “No eggs today, I’m afraid- the whole two dozen of the things contained letters rather than yolks and whites.”

“Wha-!?” Vernon began.

Harry pointed at the pile on the counter. “No stamps, but I haven’t lit the fire yet.” He sighed. “I guess boarding up all the cracks won’t stop them either.”

“Why is there a fire lit?” Vernon asked.

Harry looked at the grate. He’d closed the glass doors across the front of the fireplace to contain the heat. “Well, Friday saw one dozen letters, then yesterday saw two dozen, so today I’m expecting three or four, and I want the fire ready for when they get here.” He shrugged. “And once they’re gone, maybe we can make s’mores.”

“I want S’mores,” Dudley demanded suddenly from behind Vernon.

“No post on Sundays,” Vernon reminded Harry. “No damn letters today.”

They all twitched at the sound of breaking glass, then turned to look at the grate.

“Well crap,” Harry muttered. “Run for it!”

It seemed the letters were being sent down the chimney- which would have been a rather amusing case of self-immolation, except that they also seemed to be being sent down with enough force to destroy the fireplace door.

Harry only barely made it out of the room before the door finally shattered and the first letter-firebomb crossed the kitchen to explode all over the cabinets.

Within minutes, the flames were leaping out the windows towards the sky, and the whole family was packed in the car and speeding towards the highway.

Harry waited until they were cruising comfortably down the motorway before he spoke up. “I didn’t see if they had stamps on them,” he mused, “but they probably didn’t.”

Petunia let out a snort of laughter.

“ ‘Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H Potter? Only I’ve got about an ‘undred of these at the front desk.”

Harry looked up from his breakfast at the hotel owner, who was holding up a single parchment envelope addressed in green ink. “Ninety-six, probably,” he observed. “Do they have stamps?”

She blinked. “Uh, no.”

“Burn ‘em,” Harry opined.

Vernon rose from his seat. “I’ll take them.”

“Could do with some of those letters now, eh?” Vernon chuckled good-naturedly, as he watched the empty chip bags smoke and shrivel up in the grate. He’d relocated them to a shabby little hut on a rock out at sea for the night, though Harry wasn’t sure why he’d gone here instead of to another hotel.

It wasn’t like he’d tried to grab any of the letters, after all.

And besides.

“What’s in that bag you brought?” he asked politely, gesturing towards a large bag Vernon had loaded into the car at the hotel, then brought into the rowboat with them to the hut.

Vernon looked at it. “... Right,” he muttered. He then opened the bag, removed a handful of letters, tossed them into the grate, and set them on fire.

“Couldn’t make us a cup of tea, could yeh? It’s not been an easy journey.” The giant that had just knocked down the front door at midnight strode over to the sofa and chased Dudley off of it. “And here’s Harry.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, and let the giant’s description of the last time he’d seen Harry wash over him.

“I demand that you leave at once, Sir,” Vernon said, rather bravely, brandishing his rifle at the giant. “You are breaking and entering.”

“Ah shut up Dursley, yeh great prune,” the giant said, and destroyed Vernon’s weapon with dismissive ease. Then he sighed. “Anyways, Harry, it’s about time you read your letter.” He reached into one of the many pockets on his overcoat for a letter, then handed it to Harry.

Harry took it, then inspected it. It was hand-addressed to him on the floor of the Hut on the Rock, The Sea.

There was no stamp.

He flicked it sideways, straight into the gently flickering flames still occupying the grate from the last of the letters earlier. The fire was only still burning because he’d willed it to last all night, but that was beside the point.

The silence was absolute.

“Why did you do that?” the giant eventually asked.

Harry shrugged. “It’s not worth reading.”

“O’ course it is,” the giant grumbled. “It’s from ‘Ogwarts, and yer a Wizard.”

Harry snorted derisively. “You must have missed a memo, Sir. I’m a mage, not a wizard. Unlike wizards, mages know how to function. And unlike mages, wizards wear long robes and pointed hats, don’t have a lick of sense, and follow a crackpot old fool named Albus Dumbledore like lovesick puppies.”

The giant leaped to his feet, plunging his head into the ceiling that wasn’t quite tall enough for him, and smashed up the rest of it with a battered pink umbrella as he waved it over his head, showering the room with splinters- except for Harry, he was standing, grinning, in a small circle where absolutely nothing fell. “NEVER,” the giant roared. “INSULT. ALBUS. DUMBLEDORE. IN. FRONT. OF-!”

Smack.

Author's Note

This is the only un-charactered section in the entire story, and that mostly because it felt wrong, to me, to apply a character perspective to it. Don't worry, there are other sections coming.

Patreon, Discord.

Smack.

Chapter 10.1 - July 2021 - Harry Potter

Entry: Tuesday, July 27th, 2021

Hagrid. One of the three people involved in dumping me on the Dursleys’ doorstep all those years ago.

He broke down the door today. It wasn’t the door to the house- no, a little wooden hut on a rock. Started insisting I’m a wizard.

I’m not. I’m a mage, thank you very much.

When I told him what I think of wizards, he flew into a rage.

Then he waved his umbrella above his head. I think the last word he was going to say was ‘me’, but it kinda got lost when Helia slapped him. One moment Hagrid was standing there and looking very threatening- looking, not feeling, Helia always has my back right when I need her the most- and the next, Helia was in his face.

Briefly. I think she was there for about a quarter of a second before she slapped him so hard the hut acquired a new window.

Then she landed, and turned to ask me if I was okay, like she does that every day.

The funniest part was the Dursleys. Vernon looked one word away from a heart attack, but Petunia was looking like Christmas came early. And Dudley? Ever since Helia slapped him across the face at the perfect moment to send him tumbling down four full flights of stairs just days after she first appeared, he’s been deathly afraid of girls of all shapes and sizes. So of course, with the combined fears of Hagrid, Helia, and the collapsing hut, he just passed out.

Then Helia looked up at the collapsing ceiling and clicked her tongue.

The ceiling was afraid of her. The Hut sprang back together- albeit with a new window, now nicely glass-paned and with an ornately-carved windowsill- and into far finer condition than it was in when we arrived. Vernon roared- in anger and fear, I think, since he’s also deathly afraid of Helia, though not of other girls- then dragged Petunia and Dudley into the other room, and closed the door.

Helia snorted, turned the couch into a bedazzled, fit-for-a-king four-poster bed with a wave of her hand, and bade me good night.

When I had finished climbing into bed, she turned out the lights. Did I mention that when she clicked her tongue at the ceiling, she also turned on the lights that the hut hadn’t had before?

I didn’t know it yet, and wouldn’t find out until morning, but the Dursleys had found not the moth-eaten bed they’d expected in the other room, but rather three dingy cots, very similar to the one I slept on in the cupboard under the stairs. Amusingly, whichever one Petunia climbed onto became a comfortable bed… sized for one. And only for as long as she was lying on it. The other two had to deal with scratchy cots. She seemed to think it was hilarious when she told me over breakfast- and exactly the kind of thing her sister would do.

That my mother would do.

That, now that I’m thinking about it, Helia would do. She must be similar to my mother.

Before she left, though, Helia told me one thing, and it reminded me of the first words she’d ever spoken to me, right after smashing Vernon.

“Remember to ask Gringotts about your Estate Guardian.”

That first time, way back when, it was rather toneless- almost like a robot. Now? Her tone was dead serious. I get the idea that asking Gringotts about my Estate Guardian will enable her to be there for me in even more ways than she already is, and it’s the only way to do that.

So I will. I will ask Gringotts about my Estate Guardian. Whatever it is. And whoever Gringotts is.

Entry: Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

Okay, I forgot to return last night to write about what happened throughout the day. And to be fair, every other time I’ve tried to make a record, Vernon or Dudley would always destroy it. This diary Helia gave me is different- it’s in my hand when I want it, and gone when I don’t. And if Vernon tries to take it, it’s like he’s trying to lift- or move- Thor’s Hammer.

It doesn’t work.

… At least a part of that was Helia’s hand clamped around his wrist. The rest was probably that he passed out when she so much as looked at him funny. While holding his wrist.

In any case, once Vernon got over his extra fainting spell yesterday, we left the hut- which now looked more like a mansion- and walked across the bridge back to shore, as the rowboat was basically sunken. Probably a good thing, since Helia is about the only reason we made it to the hut in the first place- she said we would’ve sunk three times over without her intervention.

Once we crossed the bridge, we watched Helia pack it into her sports bag, wave, and disappear. Then, once Petunia roused Dudley- he ran headfirst into the side of the car, left a big dent, and managed to knock himself out- we were on the road again.

So last night, we spent the night at a hotel. The only rooms they had left were singles- and by hotel policy, we couldn’t double up.

At all.

It seemed strange to me, and even stranger to Petunia unless I read her wrong, but Vernon didn’t even seem to notice. I think he’s become rather unhinged over the whole letters thing- I haven’t read a single one yet, and I still won’t until they send it properly!

And sending a full one hundred and ninety-two letters to my room this morning, and yes I counted, with precisely zero stamps adorning their corners, does not count.

I had them all neatly stacked on my table.

So when someone knocked on my door and, while Vernon’s door was open next door, introduced herself as Professor McGonagall… I promptly labeled her the ‘letter disposal service’.

The look on her face was hilarious.

When she saw the letters on the table, the look on her face was terrifying. She waved a stick at them to make them disappear, said some very stern words that I couldn’t catch through her accent, and left to go find whoever she’d aimed those words at. I didn’t even have to refuse to go!

Entry: Thursday, July 29th, 2021

We stayed in an AirBnB last night. The pile of letters on the doormat was so tall I asked Vernon if we needed a bulldozer to get out. The man that came to invite me to Hogwarts was so small he was shorter than Helia, and she’s shorter than me. He rolled his eyes at the pile, made it disappear, and said the Hogwarts invitation magic must be malfunctioning.

He then handed me a letter. No stamp.

I handed it right back. Told him no.

He argued.

I told him that I couldn’t be bothered to read anything sent by an idiot like Dumbledore- because it’s in his name: Dumb-le-door. Or maybe double door… that he got shut in. But anyways, this man- a Professor Flitwick- eventually accepted my answer and left.

Entry: Friday, July 30th, 2021

We went home last night. The house was completely undamaged, like the letter-firebombs from last week never happened. What a week it has been! Anyways, this morning, Albus Dumbledore, the Crackpot Old Fool himself, has set what has to be a world record for the number of carving knives simultaneously embedded to the hilt in his body.

I… don’t think that’s what he set out to do. But that’s not the point.

Vernon slept in today. Dumbledore had already gotten burned and vanished by the time he got up, so when he got downstairs, Petunia was helping me burn all seven hundred and sixty-eight letters that showed up today. Seriously, where do these things keep coming from?

Anyways, I had just finished counting them when the Fool arrived. Didn’t even knock, he simply opened the door like he lived here.

He got as far as saying “Harry my-” before Helia got to him.

I’m not sure where she found eighty carving knives, but it took her about a half a second to embed every single one of them in his body, right down to the hilt. Then she picked him up, slammed him down on the floor, conjured a large stock pot full of boiling oil out of nowhere, and poured it on him. I know it was boiling because it sizzled when it touched him- though when it ran over Helia’s feet, she ignored it completely.

But that’s to be expected. She can throw Vernon and Hagrid around like a giant playing with baby toys, so why shouldn’t she be able to ignore a little bit of boiling oil?

Then the Fool vanished into thin air, much like Helia always does, and the knives, oil, and pot all vanished with him. Helia asked if I was okay, and once again reminded me to ask about my Estate Guardian.

I promised her I would. She seemed amused when I asked her who Gringotts is, but didn’t answer.

Entry: Saturday, July 31st, 2021

Only one letter showed up for me today. It was still made of parchment, but it was addressed with black ink rather than green, and it had a stamp.

So I read it. Vernon slept in again, so I didn’t even need to hurry.

It was apparently from the Ministry of Magic or some such, as an automated message sent to me because I had failed to select a magic school, and I should expect someone to visit within the next few days to help me do so.

When I asked why I would have to choose a magic school, Helia appeared out of nowhere and told me the law requires every witch, wizard, and mage to get at least a bare minimum level of magical education… and that I haven’t yet met that requirement. She had to go because she had, and I quote, ‘some strings to pull’.

And she once again reminded me to ask about my Estate Guardian. I asked her what an Estate Guardian was this time, but she was gone before I finished the question.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Helia is teasing Harry, isn't she?

Chapter 10.2 - July 2021 - Bonbon

Entry: Friday, July 30th, 2021

We received a rather peculiar report today. It would seem one of our initial scouts in world 3DB, today just one day shy of twenty two years of physical age thanks to the dimensional age shift, was making a routine hospital visit.

That they work at the hospital as a surgeon is irrelevant, it was still routine and they were at the hospital. At St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, specifically.

I… still shudder to think about just how easy it was for that particular agent to get into such a specialized role as surgeon at such an apparent young age, despite being an experienced doctor here in Equestria. They hardly even tested her!

But that’s also beside the point.

The point was that she happened to be in the lobby when Dumbledore arrived.

By portkey.

While looking like a porcupine.

She said it’s amazing that he survived- it took them almost six hours to remove all the knives.

And the boiling sulfuric acid that someone had poured over him was only part of the problem- the rest was that whoever had stabbed him… had been just too amazing with their aim. Not a single one of his vital organs were critically damaged- but well over half of the knives slipped neatly right between them. One of the knives even went straight through his heart- how that didn’t critically damage his heart, I honestly don’t want to know.

But the old man survived. Barely. He’ll be hospitalized for a good year.

And do you know what? There was a magic signature left attached to one of the knives like a flag. She captured it and sent it back with the report.

Luna and Discord confirmed.

It’s our Trauma Avatar. She is the one that so nearly cremated Dumbledore, the Leader of the Light.

My first instinct was to order our Agent to simply kill Dumbledore. A lethal injection would do the trick, and wizards would have no idea why he just dropped dead.

But my gut told me that was a bad idea, so I didn’t do it. If our Trama Avatar left him alive, albeit tortured so badly that some of the older healers were heard wondering if it had hurt as much as the infamous Cruciatus Curse, she had a reason- and probably a very good one.

The question is, though, what reason?

But at least we now know who one of our undoubtedly many enemies are.

That’ll make planning our war much easier- and the process of locating potential local allies.

I think it’s about time for me to cross myself- and for us to begin increasing the flow. By this point, it’s virtually certain that we’ll select World 3DB to move Equestria to.

Oh, and today was also the day that Princess Luna revealed herself to Celestia. She then clubbed the poor older diarch over the head with the Worldgate Array reports, and started berating her for making it necessary- something about the Elements of Harmony…?

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Well, at least someone has a screwdriver for all those loose screws.

Chapter 11.1 - August 2021 - Fair Fight - Origin

Report: Monday, August 2nd, 2021, by Agent Honor Duel

When Director Bones floo-called to ask me to address a case for the DME-MCO (Muggleborn Compulsion Office of the Department of Magical Education), I was unable to figure out why. As a Junior Auror in the DMLE-AO (Auror Office of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement), just barely graduated from Auror School, I’m not even a part of the DME, let alone the MCO.

When I came in to the office to check my briefing, I found out why.

For some unknown reason, over ninety percent of the DME, including the entire MCO, has called in sick today. Not only that but a vast majority of the DMLE has also called in sick- and while the AO suffered the smallest impact, it was enough that Director Bones can only spare a few new recruits like myself to shore up the enforcement divisions of other Departments; all the more senior Aurors are shoring up other divisions of the DMLE.

She directly warned me to be careful, as we had- and still have- no idea what caused almost thirty percent of the entire Ministry of Magic to call in sick; Education and Law Enforcement weren’t the only offices to take hits, and the Muggleborn Compulsory Education Office (the full title for when referring to it directly rather than as a part of the DME) was far from the only office to suffer a total loss.

Once I had performed the standard battery of tests and checks on myself, all clean, I stopped into the DME-MCO under the protection of a Bubblehead Charm and a full-body thaumic glove. My scans were not able to detect anything wrong, but I did not cancel those protections until I was well clear of the Ministry and the entire magical world.

While I was in the DME-MCO, I checked over the Substitute Instructions before I began to inspect and investigate the specific case given to me.

Harry James Potter… had apparently received letters from Hogwarts every day for a full eleven days, starting with just one on July 20th and ending with over seven hundred on July 30th. On the 29th, the Office mailed Hogwarts a Cease and Desist order, which likely arrived after the final batch of Hogwarts letters was sent; on the 30th, the Office mailed the standard compulsory education notice to Harry Potter, via direct insertion of the properly mailed envelope into Mr. Potter’s local post office. There is a note in the file indicating that there was a muggleborn working at the post office in question, and they helped to ensure it was inserted, processed, and delivered properly. The Office received a read receipt from that letter on the morning of the 31st.

There were no further actions taken. Had Hogwarts defied the Order they sent, they would have forwarded the case to the DMLE; while the law does not prohibit the excessive numbers of letters per day, the law does specify that the School may not repeat its invitations across a period of any more than seven days. Upon inspection of the order, it is not specific to Mr. Potter, but to all new student invitations this year. I confirmed this Order and its circumstances to Director Bones, and she agreed that it’s not quite actionable by the DMLE, unless Hogwarts violates the order, indicating good judgement on the part of the DME-MCO personnel.

The DME-MCO did not have any indication of any further infractions by Hogwarts, nor of any other schools actively inviting Harry; this is strange to me, given the vast number of schools that have registered as interested in having him as a student.

Harry Potter is, after all, the Boy who Lived, perhaps the most famous living person in the entire magical world.

With this in mind, I collected the welcome kits for all of the schools that wish to invite Mr. Potter, covered myself and the large bag necessary for all of the individually packaged kits in Disillusionment Charms and Perception Filters, and apparated to his front door. Note that when I presented this method of safely apparating directly into public muggle areas to Director Bones, she approved it for use, but also restricted it to Official Use Only, as there is still a risk of detection.

Once in front of Number Four, I cancelled the disillusionment first, then the perception filters, and finally knocked on the front door.

The yard and structure was impeccably tidy, though the driveway was clear, so I was uncertain if I would get a response at this hour. I did, though.

I was greeted by a woman, one Petunia Ann Dursley. She appeared on Harry’s file as the wife of the homeowner, though interestingly not his guardian; according to the files, Harry doesn’t actually have a guardian. My guess is that the adoption paperwork had never been completed, but I cannot be certain.

I flashed my badge, introduced myself as a representative of the DME despite having flashed a DMLE Auror badge instead of a DME one, and brought up the issue with Harry’s magical education. She welcomed me into the home and called for Harry to meet with me.

The family dynamic in that home is obviously very complex. The pictures on the walls showed a massively overweight child with Petunia and a similarly overweight man, presumably her husband- but when Harry arrived, it was immediately evident that he was not the overweight child. He was actually quite skinny, and wearing what must have been the overweight child’s castoffs. These details were clearly heavily abusive- but Petunia seemed delighted to see me, and during our conversation she showed me that she truly cared about the boy, but felt like she couldn’t care for him properly.

The reason was obvious: My Agency Mind Barrier triggered before I even entered the building, and stood strong against something for the entire time I was there.

I believe Mrs. Dursley does not want to be an abusive parent, but is being forced to be.

Interestingly, when I later informed Director Bones of the effect, she visited the house, returned, reviewed her own memories in a Pensieve, and commended me for my outstanding apparent prowess in Occlumency. She identified it as an extremely powerful blood-anchored notice diversion ward but, like me, she was unable to determine who cast it.

During my conversation with Mrs. Dursley and Harry, Harry let on that he’d actually read the DME-MCO notice because it had a stamp more than anything else, but also communicated that his bedroom appeared on all his Hogwarts mail, even when said bedroom was changed or he traveled to another location, such as a hotel. This indicated highly illegal, active tracking spells by Hogwarts or staff thereof, and in my authority as an Auror of the DMLE, I have purged all tracking and monitoring spells affecting him. When I returned that evidence to Director Bones at the end of the day, she approved of my action time-of and drafted charges against Hogwarts as a whole and Albus Dumbledore in particular for allowing it.

Apparently, the thousands of invitations Hogwarts had sent didn’t have a single stamp across them.

Harry was deeply amused by the number of options, but told me that he’d been told to ask Gringotts about his Estate Guardian. He refused to tell who had told him to, but when I asked him what he knew of his magical assets, he confirmed the worst: The Estate Guardian to a Junior Lord such as Harry is legally required to inform the Lord of his assets, even if control is not handed over, prior to the Junior Lord’s tenth birthday; our discussion was two days after the Junior Lord’s eleventh. As such, whoever Harry’s Estate Guardian was, they were in default- and I could not fault his benefactor for choosing Gringotts to ask. Unlike the Ministry, which would just assign a new one and be done with it, Gringotts will ask him to appoint a new one. Also unlike a Ministry-assigned Estate Guardian, a Junior Lord-appointed Estate Guardian would also serve as Regent, granting them control of the political powers of his House as well as financial, until such time as Harry reaches majority.

Petunia opted to stay behind, but gave her blessing as me and Harry departed for Gringotts.

The part that baffles me is that whoever Harry’s benefactor is, they didn’t tell him anything about Gringotts, nor what an Estate Guardian is, but he still expressed total confidence in their reliability.

“What do you need?”

“Hi. I’m Junior Lord Harry James of the Noble and Ancestral House of Potter, and I need to ask about my Estate Guardian.”

The goblin grunted. “Who is your Estate Guardian?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

He looked up from his counter to squint at the Potter boy. “And what are your assets?”

He shrugged. “I’m not aware of any, though Auror Fight here said they’re significant.” He gestured towards the Auror standing just behind him.

He snorted. “Who are your Guardians?”

“I’m told I don’t have any, though I have been living with my Aunt, Petunia Dursley nee Evans, and her husband, Vernon Dursley.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Scram,” the goblin decided. “We have no use for-!” He suddenly went silent, then tipped over backwards and landed on the floor with a splat.

The tellers on either side looked alarmedly at him, behind the counter where Harry could not see, then one of them turned to Harry. “Junior Lord Potter, was it?” he asked.

Harry nodded, nonplussed.

“And your Estate Guardian has neglected to inform you of your assets?”

“Presumably?” he offered. “I don’t know who they are.”

The goblin sighed. “I will get you a meeting with someone to confirm your story,” he offered. “However, the Auror will not be able to follow. Bank policy.”

Auror Fair Fight nodded. “As expected, Sir.”

Continued: Monday, August 2nd, 2021, by Agent Honor Duel

Roughly ten minutes after Harry was guided back into the bowels of the bank, my attention was drawn to another customer. She was about his age, dressed all in black to match her long hair, and she walked like a true Lady. When I first saw her, I believed she was playing make-believe, which the Gringotts Goblins have been known not to appreciate. I was quickly disabused of that notion, though, even before she reached the counter- she is one of very, very few locals in this world powerful enough to trigger the Agency Pony Detector- and the first one I’ve seen capable of convincing it an Alicorn is near. That was to say nothing of the claims she made, loud and clear, once she reached a teller- an uncooperative teller.

“What do you want?”

“Good morning. I am the newly appointed Lord Regent Helia Jennifer Black of the House of Potter; I have the unexecuted Last Will and Testament of the late Lord and Lady Potter in my possession, and would have it read in the Junior Lord’s presence and executed immediately. I understand he is in your bank at this time, and would like to request the read-!”

“Get out,” the teller barked. “We don’t need make-belie-!” He froze.

Helia had, in a blur of motion, drawn a gleaming blade from inside her robe and slammed it overtop the goblin’s book of numbers, the hilt held firmly in her fist. “You have denied my claims before these goblins many without making any attempt to disprove them,” she informed him darkly but firmly and loudly, drawing the attention of every goblin in the entire hall, rather than just the tellers on either side. “You will perform your duty to verify my claims and execute my requests to the extent that my authority to make them can be verified, or you will face me in battle.”

The silence echoed- even the other customers had gone silent at the girl charging a Goblin with dishonorable acts and challenging him to an honor duel.

He took the duel, of course- any other action would be to accept that mark of dishonor.

Unfortunately for him, though, the girl was lightning fast. The goblin had only made it halfway out of his seat, his blade barely clear of its sheath as he attempted to pounce on her, when the duel was already over, and he falling to the floor behind the counter in six separate pieces- decapitated, delimbed, and tainted with the dishonor of such a one-sided loss to an eleven-year-old human girl.

As for Helia Black, claimed Lord Regent Potter, she had her blade cleaned and stowed so quickly it looked like she’d immolated the goblin with her mind while sheathing the blade, rather than using the blade.

The silence held for another three seconds.

The teller next to the defeated one turned to her. “I heard your intent, but could you repeat the request?”

She bowed her head. “As I understand Junior Lord Potter is in your bank at this time, I would like to request the reading be done in the presence of both him and the Potter Account Manager, to be executed immediately by the latter of the two. I have prepared the necessary fees.” She showed a bulging sack of coins. “Further, as Junior Lord Potter has completed his company-exclusive duties within the bank, I would like to invite his traveling companion, Auror Fair Fight, to witness the reading and execution for the Ministry of Magic.” She gestured towards the Auror in question, who gave a start at the address.

The goblin paused. “You’re… Acting Lady Black, are you not?”

She bowed her head. “Named Lord Regent by Junior Lord Potter himself.”

The goblin drew something from under the counter. “Please place your hand on this and restate your claims.”

She did. The stone tablet glowed green.

“The claims are confirmed. Please wait while I contact the Potter account manager.”

Continued Again: Monday, August 2nd, 2021, by Agent Honor Duel

That girl, Acting Lady Helia Jennifer of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, is absolutely terrifying. Not only did she cut the goblin up so quickly that her blade was nothing but a blur even to my trained senses, but she somehow knew that I was accompanying Harry… and that Harry had completed the duties for which I had to stay out of his hair. I fully understood that requirement- the Goblins did not want Harry to feel any pressure to assign any particular Regent, nor even to tell me who it was.

Then of course, as Harry had not yet emerged from the bowels of the bank, I have to wonder how Helia had learned that she was Lord Regent Potter. This is especially suspicious, as I later discovered that she showed up at the DA-RO (Records Office of the Department of Administration) literally just seconds after the appointment was recorded as having happened, in order to use her authority as Regent Potter to demand access to the illegally-sealed Potter wills.

Interestingly, the Records Office was the only office throughout the entire Ministry which had not suffered any losses to disease- followed closely by the Child Services Office of the DMLE, which only lost one person.

But anyways, it took around three minutes for her requests to be approved, then both Helia and myself were guided down to the Potter Account Manager’s office, where we met Harry, a Goblin will-reader, and several Goblin Nation witnesses. Helia’s bag of gold changed hands and was inspected, then the Will in question, which she also drew from inside her robe, changed hands and was inspected and read. By the time the reading was complete, Harry was crying into Helia’s shoulder while she hugged him- and Heila seemed pleased overall, despite clicking her tongue in evident disapproval when the Will specified that Harry was to go to Hogwarts for all seven years.

On the other hand, the Will specifically appointed guardianship over Harry first to Lord Sirius Black, who Account Manager Gornok found ineligible due to his current incarceration in Azkaban… then simply to the Current Head of the House of Black, before moving on to the Longbottoms and finally the Dursleys.

Which meant that Lady Helia was now Harry’s legal, magical, and Estate guardian, plus Regent of his House; the Will specified that the Regency should go with the Guardianship, neatly confirming Helia’s appointment.

Naturally, I asked Helia what she had against Hogwarts.

Helia gave a soft chuckle at the question. “You probably know this already, Auror, but the Hogwarts Welcome Kit is missing from that bag of yours. What you probably don’t know is that if it was there, Hogwarts would be the number one worst school on the list. Fortunately, for as bad of a state as the school is in, it is solely owned by the House of Potter- so we should be able to do something about that.”

There was a pause.

“It is,” Account Manager Gornok agreed suddenly, looking at his paperwork and sounding surprised. “It’s very well hidden, but yes, House Potter owns Hogwarts outright.”

Continued for Thirds: Monday, August 2nd, 2021, by Agent Honor Duel

I don’t know why Helia suggested Harry get a Will on file during our visit, but she did, and he complied. It was filed with the goblins, and I filed it with the DA-RO upon return to the Ministry; he is simply giving everything to Helia with no predeceased clause, which seemed to amuse her for some reason. Once all three of us were informed of what all the Potter Estate contains, Helia took my testimony- I didn’t originally expect it to be, but it turned out that way- as to the classes and staff that Hogwarts actually has, which is vastly different- and less- than what it has on paper. After that, Helia stayed behind to manage the Potter Estate while me and Harry returned to the surface with the bag of gold she handed him and the Hogwarts welcome kit she handed me.

I have included a transcript of the aforementioned testimony with this report, as well as provided it and the official roster to Director Bones, who agrees that such blatant fraud cannot be tolerated, even if neither of us could find a law making it illegal.

Seriously.

In any case, I have written a separate report on the Diagon Alley shopping trip I had with Harry before we met back up with Helia so she could take him to his new residence, then I returned alone to the Ministry.

Transcript: Monday, August 2nd, 2021

Interrogator: Helia Jennifer Black, Acting Owner of Hogwarts

Subject: Auror Fair Fight, recent Hogwarts Graduate

Witness: Harry James Potter, Junior Lord Potter and Official Owner of Hogwarts

Witness: Gornok, Gringotts Account Manager for the Potter Accounts, including Hogwarts

Witness: Gringotts Witness Platoon E-67

Topic: Hogwarts Course and Staff Roster

Note: While this questioning did occur in an informal setting, proper oaths were requested and given prior to transcript begin.

Security: This transcript has been blood-sealed by all named above. Junior Lord Potter had to be shown how.

Transcript follows.

Int: “Auror Fight, you are a recent graduate from Hogwarts, correct?

Sub: “Yes. I graduated just over four years ago.”

Int: “What classes were available at the school?”

Sub: “The Core classes are Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Herbology, History of Magic and Astronomy; starting in third year, the Elective classes Care of Magical Creatures, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Divination, and Muggle Studies are available.”

Int: “Does History of Magic include non-magical History?”

Sub: “History of Magic is taught by Professor Binns, and his lecture transcripts are always the same in every class, every year. The assignments are always graded exactly the same as well, regardless of what the student does, so students have to educate themselves out of the course book, A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot.”

Int: “Are there any language classes in the school, to include but not limited to the core Latin and electives French, German, and Goblin?”

Sub: “No.”

Int: “Is there an Etiquette or Wizarding Culture class for those entering our world?”

Sub: “No.”

Int: “Do you believe the Muggle Studies curriculum is up to date?”

Sub: “No. Professor Charity Burbage is amazed by objects as simple as pencils.”

Int: “Are there courses covering professional topics, such as Law, Political Science, and Finance?”

Sub: “No.”

Int: “Are there any courses covering the Arts and Sciences, to include but not limited to Dance, Music, Painting, Spellcrafting, Biology, and Chemistry?”

Sub: “No.”

Int: “Are there any other course issues you have noticed?”

Sub: “Yes. The best grades for Divination go to those students which make everything up rather than putting in a true effort. Potions lessons are more like institutionalized bullying, with no proper instruction or safety measures. Astronomy requires students to get up in the middle of the night to gaze into the night sky from the very first lesson, and involves little else; we learn more Astronomy in Divination than in Astronomy. Ancient Runes is a sham, as Professor Bathsheda Babbling confuses herself all the time- students get better grades when they skive off except for assignments, and otherwise teach themselves. Arithmancy is really basic math, only barely touching on long division by the end of seventh year. Defense Against the Dark Arts is like a roulette wheel- there’s a new Professor every year, and it’s only a good one on occasion. Two of the seven I faced were actively dangerous to their students.”

Int: “Good point, are there any basic non-magical courses, such as mathematics, basic science, language, writing, and so on?”

Sub: “No.”

Int: “What is your opinion of the remainder of the staff?”

Sub: “Severely overworked. The entire castle is cleaned by a single squib; the house-elves only have time to cook and tend to beds and common rooms. The school has only one matron, Madam Pomfrey, who does not hold any medical certifications but has far exceeded them since her hire; Professor Snape of Potions is also Head of Slytherin House, resident Dark Expert, resident Potions Master, and certified Healer’s Assistant. Professor Flitwick of Charms is also Head of Ravenclaw House and resident Cursebreaker; Professor Sprout of Herbology is also Head of Hufflepuff House and resident Farming Manager. Professor McGonagall of Transfiguration is also Head of Gryffindor House, Deputy Headmistress, occasional Acting Headmistress whenever Headmaster Dumbledore leaves the grounds, and Master of Maintenance. Many of these duties have been poorly done or not done at all, thanks to the excessive amounts of work poured upon these Professors- including teaching not less than fourteen class sessions per week, two per year. No assistants.”

Int: “How about the Groundskeeper?”

Sub: “Groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid does a surprisingly good job for a man with no wand rights, as his status as a half-giant allows him to control all manner of creatures that a human Groundskeeper would be unable to. His methods are unorthodox, but no less effective for it- and while he sometimes misunderstands the danger certain creatures might pose to lesser students, he does take adequate precautions. He is also Keeper of Keys, and when asked, has no idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

Int: “Are there any clubs or other extracurricular activities available to students?”

Sub: “Yes, but only one, and only to those students which manage to get on the House Quidditch Teams. The students are required to bring their own brooms.”

Int: “Thank you.”

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

If I remember right, this is the single longest character section in the story (except Shooting Star's introduction, but that doesn't count because it's mostly backstory). Also, Bonbon's not the only one with a screwdriver!

Chapter 11.2 - August 2021 - Harry Potter

Entry: Monday, August 2nd, 2021

I don’t live at the Dursleys anymore. Helia said there’s too much dangerous magic in the air there, and now that she’s my guardian, she has the authority to let me stay in the Potter Seat of London- a surprisingly large mansion right in the middle of the city, only a five minute train ride away from King’s Cross.

I will also apparently be going to Hogwarts anyways, despite informing several staff that I won’t be. Helia said something about various ‘much needed changes’, most of which would happen after I start my schooling but some might even be before then. I guess she was getting the ball rolling while I was shopping with Auror Fight.

And boy, was there shopping to do! Clothes, equipment, everything. We even found a letter from Helia in the welcome kit, recommending a list of ‘extra’ books that once were and really should still be on the required booklist for all students; I guess we were a bit too fast for her to have already changed the official booklists. She also dropped a list of recommended stores to get things at, so we did, and we had a largely uneventful shopping trip. Madam Malkin was a nice lady, and the other boy getting robes that day refused to do anything but glare at Auror Fight for the whole time.

I think my wand was the most interesting part. Ollivander’s first question was as to my wand arm- but his second didn’t make sense to me. He asked if I was muggle-raised.

“Well, I’m right-handed,” Harry offered.

“Good, very good, now, Mr. Potter, were you muggle-raised?”

Harry blinked, and tilted his head. “What’s that mean?”

“Yes, I see,” Ollivander nodded, as if he’d answered the question. “One moment.” He dashed off into the shelves, and returned with one narrow box. “Here we are. Unusual combination; Holly and Phoenix Feather, eleven inches, nice and supple. Just give it a wave.” He opened the box, removed the wand from it, and offered it for Harry to try.

Harry took it, blinked, and gave it a wave. A shower of multicolored sparks flew from the end of it, lighting up the whole shop.

“Oh, bravo, bravo!” Ollivander cheered. “And curious… oh, very curious indeed.”

“Are you referring to how it was the first try?” Auror Fight asked.

“Oh no,” Ollivander chuckled. “Been selling wands to muggle-raised on the first try for over five years now. But the phoenix whose feather is in your wand, Mr. Potter, gave another feather- just one more. And it is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar.” He gestured towards Harry’s forehead.

Harry snorted. “The scar I don’t have.”

Ollivander chuckled. “Yes, the scar you don’t have.”

He looked down at the wand, now packaged neatly in brown paper. “So why does it feel so much like…” He paused, looking for words.

“That would be because this wand is in fact a Guardian Wand,” Ollivander informed him.

He blinked. “What’s that mean?”

“That means your wand is imbued with the distilled, purified magic of protection. Do not be surprised if it acts on its own to protect you when you are in need.”

“Huh.”

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

If I remember correctly, this section exists solely to detail the Ollivander visit. As for who was getting robes at Madam Malkin's, I have no idea who I once imagined it to be, but they obviously don't like Auror Fight.

Chapter 11.3 - August 2021 - Arienne Fox

Entry: Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

Today was a long day of meetings and negotiations. Ever since my birthday last year, me, Mom, and a fair number of our people have been struggling to figure out how I’m going to get my magical education. We’ve found records on file to indicate that it’s compulsory, and for good reason… but we haven’t been able to figure out what that reason is. Nor anything else.

Then, a couple weeks ago, a single letter arrived in the mail… without a stamp. Mom’s secretary inspected it, then photographed and e-mailed it to us rather than hand-delivering the original, just in case it’s spelled. It was the expected- and, admittedly, feared- Hogwarts invitation.

We have no idea where Hogwarts is. No way to protect me there. And wizards are unlikely to allow non-magical guards in their school.

Then, on Monday night, Helia suddenly e-mailed me a request for a private meeting with myself, mom, and ideally Sienna as well. Yes, she has my direct e-mail address, and mail from hers is allowed through my filterwall. She’s a close friend to both myself and Sienna, after all, no matter how much she disappears.

I immediately forwarded that e-mail to Mom and talked to her about it. She talked it over with some of her people, then yesterday, we finally sent her a reply- that today would work.

So she came. As usual, since my birthday at least, security never told us she’d reached the gates, she was simply there, in the room with us, without ever having gotten there. Our Guards have gotten used to Helia’s crazy mobility, so they hardly even bat an eye, beyond the initial check to make sure it’s really her. She’s aware of that, though, so she appeared at the far end of the room, where the guards were expecting her, rather than up close to us.

But then she got before us… and handed me a Hogwarts welcome kit. And a map, with Hogwarts marked on it.

“Is that…?” Queen Vanessa began, looking at the package Helia had just handed her daughter.

“Hogwarts,” Helia confirmed, nodding her head. “As it turns out, Hogwarts is something like a Private Charter School- that is to say, it’s a private school, but tuition is fully Ministry-paid… if you know how to sign up for it, which is really easy. But it’s owned outright by the House of Potter- and as I just became Regent and Proxy to that House, that means that I now own Hogwarts, by proxy.” She sighed. “The school is a nightmare. Easily the worst-performing magic school on earth, but also the only one that’s likely to even think about accepting your daughters and the myriad security or education requirements of the Royal Family.”

“And how likely is Hogwarts to allow us to post guards and send tutors?”

“Guaranteed,” Helia answered immediately, “because I said so.”

Arienne snorted. “Because you said so,” she agreed, then looked up. “But if it’s the worst school…?”

“It’s still got a reputation that says it’s the best, but it’s really not. The actual class lineup is less than half as large as the official lineup, and the staff less than a quarter, leaving the actual staff painfully overworked. I’ve already gotten started on correcting some of that, but I don’t expect to have the school properly shaped up into the record-setting school it’s supposed to be for a couple years yet.”

“How many guards do you think we can get away with?” Vanessa asked.

Helia shrugged. “How many can you send?” She paused. “Hogwarts Castle is around a hundred times the size of Buckingham Palace, and that’s not even counting that it’s bigger on the inside, and will dynamically get bigger on the inside whenever and wherever it is needed. You could probably house half of Britain in that castle before you overwhelmed the magic involved- and that’s assuming it wasn’t given time to acclimate to the numbers. If it is, there’s theoretically no limit.”

“How do they keep a castle that big clean?” Sienna asked.

Helia shrugged. “They don’t. Well, I suppose they hand one man a mop and tell him to keep the whole thing clean, but that hardly counts.”

“Wha-!?” Vanessa asked.

She nodded. “That’s one of the things that I’m going to be able to change before this year even starts. Same with the solitary mediwitch to serve the entire castle- Hogwarts is a school of magic, so it really needs at least one Healer per one hundred students.”

Vanessa nodded. “And non-magical doctors…?”

She shook her head. “Are a poor substitute, unfortunately. They’ll be better at some things, but well over ninety-five percent of ailments in a magic school are magical in nature, so non-magical Healers just aren’t counted.”

“So what’s the student body?”

“Three hundred and twenty for the coming year, if you include Princess Arienne.”

She nodded slowly.

“So how’s the education?” Arienne piped up. “Aside from absolutely terrible, of course.”

Sienna giggled.

“Disappointingly incomplete,” Helia answered. “If you ignore the History of Magic class that is literally a broken record, and Astronomy which consists of staying up well past bedtime to stare at the night sky and little else, and Divination where making random stuff up improves your grade, Ancient Runes where skiving off is the best way to get a good grade, Arithmancy that only barely reaches long division by the end of the seventh year, Muggle Studies where pencils are technological marvels, Potions that’s really just institutionalized bullying in a potions lab, and Defense that gets a new classroom monkey they call Professor each year, that leaves Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology, of which only the first is an elective.

“But those last three are taught, like Potions, by Professors that are also Heads of one of the four Houses at Hogwarts, making them personally responsible for a full quarter of the student body, in addition to other duties. Transfiguration has the Deputy Headmistress that’s also responsible for Castle repairs; Charms has the resident Cursebreaker, a crucial support role to the school matron; Herbology oversees the production of all the food they put on the table and the ingredients they use in potions, both the class and ones they actually need; Potions holds the resident Potions Master- another crucial medical support role- and also the resident Dark Expert, providing knowledge on various dark magic that might be affecting the school- a crucial support role to the Cursebreaker.” She sighed. “It’s really no surprise Potions lessons are essentially guided self-study while the Professor brews his own potions.”

Arienne blinked. “What about math, science, english…?” She trailed off.

Helia shook her head. “They don’t have any of that. That’s some of the stuff I’m working to correct soonest- as well as introducing Etiquette and Wizarding Culture classes to help the muggle-raised- which would include you, ‘muggle’ is a term they use to describe non-magical people that aren’t directly descended from magicals- to understand the magical world.”

Vanessa raised an eyebrow. “How much will they have?”

“By the time the school year starts next month? Not nearly enough, but there should be at least some. My resources may be vast, but even I can’t find over seventy new staff members overnight.”

“Seventy?” Sienna asked.

She nodded. “Including assistants and secondary Professors for the other subjects, and splitting all the various non-instructor roles- Heads of House, Deputy Headmaster, Potions Master, Dark Expert, Cursebreaker, Farming Manager, Maintenance Manager, and so on- off into separate positions.” She scowled. “For the first year, we’ll probably just have to make do with adding a few subjects and having their Professors help out with other duties around the Castle, reduce the workload on the Heads of Houses, and expect more improvements as the year goes on and next summer. I don’t think I’m going to be able to replace any of the confirmed bad Professors very quickly at all. Oh, and a word to the wise? Do not attend Professor Quirrell’s defense classes. He’s one of those Defense Professors who is a threat to his students, and will be fired as soon as I can find a replacement.”

“I imagine you could probably pull from quite a lot of places for that,” Vanessa observed.

“In theory, yes,” Helia agreed. “In actuality, no single Professor has ever held that slot over the summer into the new school year in almost forty years, so people think it’s cursed- and all the best-qualified people refuse to apply.” She scowled. “And Quirrell is technically qualified, he’s just evil.”

“Evil?”

She nodded. “Dark Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of his head and everything.”

“What.”

“Yeah. Too bad being evil, and hosting the soul of a rebel and mass murderer, isn’t illegal. I checked.”

“And the Dark Lord…?”

“Oh, being a Dark Lord is very illegal, to the point that they have no rights whatsoever. But for some strange reason, hosting one in the back of your head is not illegal.”

Entry: Friday, August 13th, 2021

It’s Friday the 13th today, an astoundingly unlucky day. It’s also the day I will be doing my Hogwarts shopping.

We figured everything out on Monday, and Mom found a way for me to go to Hogwarts but still get the quality education I’m already getting- that is to say, to simply add on the magical education that I’m… admittedly less enthusiastic about after I heard Helia’s scathing review of Hogwarts. She later clarified which courses were ‘core’ classes and which were ‘elective’ classes… and when only three out of seven core classes are worth anything, and all three of them have Professors that have way too much on their plates, you know there’s something wrong. But she’s working on that, and Hogwarts is likely to be the only way that either me or Sienna can learn magic.

I was actually surprised when Helia informed us that I could probably just test out of the compulsory education bit, since magical education is only compulsory to the point that we can consciously control our power, therefore keeping us from fearing it and becoming something bad called an ‘obscurial’. She also said that Sienna is probably a very tiny amount of effort away from the same thing, just like I had been on my last birthday, when she first told me I was magical.

When I asked her why, she said it was probably the strong self-control that was pounded into our skulls from a very young age, allowing us to hold a very high degree of control over our magic- and the only thing left to do was to push that control from subconscious to conscious.

But back to today. Today was the day that we were able to schedule my shopping trip for- and I’m equal parts excited and concerned.

First off, I’m the Crown Princess, and to hear Helia tell the story, a magic wand is a deadly weapon. Not only that, but I don’t want to be recognized. Helia said she’s got some decent diversion magic that will keep anyone from noticing who I am, and she’s accompanying me today so I’ve got some hope. She’s also covering the full dozen guards that’ll be going through the Alley with us; none of them are comfortable without it, and I probably wouldn’t be willing to set foot anywhere near the Leaky Cauldron without her. She’s just… I don’t know. She’s lightning fast and, while I don’t have any evidence to back this up, I think she’s deadlier than an entire battleship. That might just be that the first three or four times I met her were when she was saving me from severe bodily injury or even likely death once, but I still remember when she lifted… at just six years old. She was insanely strong then, and now she’s probably only stronger.

Second Entry: Friday, August 13th, 2021

Well, that was… a rather stressful day. Exactly where Helia got that bag of gold from, I may never know- but she recited the exact value that we spent out of it, so if we really want to, we can repay her, but she said she’s not worried about it. Honestly, I know I’m perhaps a little jaded when it comes to big money, but at just under ten thousand pounds, I think the shopping trip went a bit on the pricey side.

And that’s not counting that she contracted a half-dozen or so of the stores to serve as suppliers for the various magical clothing and equipment that my guards will need at Hogwarts… and since the Royal Family doesn’t have an account at Gringotts- we checked, after she did a lot of explaining about the bank- it’s coming out of the Black accounts.

Mom made her promise to send us the receipts, of course, so it can be properly paid out from the budget already set aside for our protection. I guess Helia also has a non-magical bank account?

But anyways, we got my stuff. Everything off the official list, and a whole bunch of extra stuff- books, supplies, even a broomstick.

A broomstick.

They really fly on brooms.

Apparently, while at Hogwarts, I’m going to learn to ride a broomstick, and Helia is of the opinion that a broomstick is one of the fastest ways from Hogwarts to the nearby airport, should I be needed elsewhere in the world in a hurry; normal aircraft can’t go anywhere near the castle, since they’d crash into the flight wards- either the vehicle itself… or the rotor holding a helicopter up. She did, however, observe that non-magicals- like all of my guards- can’t ride brooms, even with special equipment, so providing guards over that flight might be… difficult.

Especially since the flight wards around Hogwarts extend for almost two full miles around the Castle, though only up twice as high as the towers themselves- which would be why no planes have run into them already. I suggested just flying high enough that fighter jets could rendezvous with me- the broom she got me can make speeds high enough that a plane can hold formation no problem- and she immediately pointed out that doing that would place me in a highly visible and unprotected position. Then she mentioned invisibility cloaks- if the guards can’t follow, I merely need to make sure no one else can find me.

When Mom asked about the first year broom rule, Helia laughed and said she’s already ordered it rewritten, so now students of any year are allowed to have their own brooms, they just aren’t allowed to use them until and unless they have the Castle flight instructor’s approval. Apparently, learning to fly is technically a club activity rather than an actual class, and the flight instructor is properly certified for both that and as a referee for Quidditch, the wizard’s sport that uses broomsticks and sounds like it was designed to make a single player shine above the rest of the team as a hero. Anyways, Helia said that with my control, I’m probably going to be a natural on a broom- but I’m not going to want to even think about joining the Quidditch teams, as the game is dangerous.

When I asked her how dangerous, she told me that three people have died playing Quidditch at Hogwarts- and only one of them died from falling off her broom. The mortality rate is apparently much higher in professional games. She then told me that it’s pretty rare for there to be a Hogwarts quidditch match that doesn’t send at least one player to the infirmary with something like a broken bone or shattered rib cage, and again, professional games are even worse.

When I asked her about other forms of magical travel, she said that Hogwarts isn’t connected to the Floo Network and the anti-portkey wards are nearly twenty miles across and form a spherical dome over the Castle. It’s possible to synchronize a portkey with them to bypass them, but only a portkey expert would be able to do that. Finally, there’s apparition- which is how she’s been getting around… except that she’s technically doing it illegally, as you have to take classes, turn seventeen, and pass a test before you can get a license to apparate legally… and for good reason.

When I asked her why she does it, she said her apparition works differently from most people’s, allowing her to bypass anti-apparition defenses and also rendering it completely safe. She can’t teach it, because apparently it’s an artefact of what she is, rather than something she learned.

She refused to elaborate on that point.

She also refused to explain why my new wand feels so much like she does. Why Garrick Ollivander seemed so amused to see her in his store.

Or… what else she’d given him, and what instructions she’d given him with it. It looked like a wand to me.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Chapter 11.4 - August 2021 - Helia Black

Entry: Sunday, August 1st, 2021

Well, I have now pulled some strings.

It… wasn’t exactly legal, or ethical for that matter, but it should do what I need it to.

And I will admit I had way too much fun slipping Fudge and all his cronies enough Dis-Ease Draught to make them seek hospitalization. It’s a harmless potion, just makes you feel sick for a couple days.

Fudge and Co were the primary targets for large doses, along with about half of the Wizengamot; everyone else that I needed to knock out of the running, and basically everyone corrupt that I could knock out, got a more normal dose, enough to make them call in sick.

There were several people that I had to potion despite not wanting to; if I didn’t, the wrong substitute would be called in to alert Harry.

I so very much need the only Equestrian in the entire Ministry to be the one that introduces him to the magic world and processes his compulsory education case. Basically anyone else would see his lack of guardians and go about assigning one before they even tried to reach him; it was only my direct interference that kept the poor clerk that sent the letter Harry received yesterday from doing precisely that. The poor sap was already under so many compulsion potions that he probably didn’t even notice my Imperius Curse.

He was one of the other ones I potioned hard enough to seek hospitalization; he’ll probably go there in the morning, then St. Mungo’s should discover the compulsions during the day, and report them back to the Ministry.

But still; I have pulled my strings, and now I’m virtually certain that not only will Agent Honor Duel be the one to talk to Harry, but she’ll do it after Vernon leaves for work- and Director Bones, who I have been regularly slipping various Cleansing Draughts for years now, will realize just how deep the compulsions go in the Ministry. Given how spread-out my potioning was, though, she should be completely unable to figure out what my goal was with the Dis-Ease Draughts, beyond revealing the compulsions.

I might even get Fumblemore in trouble- even more trouble than when I made it so obvious to anyone with a brain that he has offended a member of my kind that’s capable of sparing his life.

That was only two days ago, wasn’t it? I wonder if Madam Bones will draw the connection, or think it’s a coincidence.

Entry: Monday, August 2nd, 2021

Things went a lot better than expected today. I wasn’t certain if Agent Honor Duel was going to take Harry to Gringotts or not, but she did- after explaining to Harry that Gringotts was a bank instead of a person, at least. And telling him what an Estate Guardian is, and doing a little questioning of her own.

Fortunately, unlike almost anyone else that might have actually taken the case, she agreed that Gringotts was the right place to ask.

Unfortunately, the first goblin they faced was one of the… inconsiderate ones. They used to just be rude and slow, but ever since the break-in a couple days ago, they’ve taken to dismissing customer claims out of hand, without even checking to verify. All because they’re afraid of letting through someone that shouldn’t be let through.

Spineless cowards.

That one had a spine, though.

I corrected that. I removed much of his nervous and skeletal systems, including both his spine and his brain, and replaced the former with raw magic… until he was a few centimeters off of the ground, so he would fall like a sleeping goblin and land like a sack of chopped meat.

The other goblins were alarmed, but not entirely; they’re familiar with my kind, and always have been, as near as I can tell. They also ascribe extreme freedom of action to my kind, since we only ever fight when we absolutely have to.

And in goblin eyes, anyone bad enough to earn the wrath of a member of my kind has already fallen to the lowest of the dishonorable, and deserves what they get. Goblin magic meshes well with the magic of my kind, which keeps an unthinking Guardian from breaching Bank security by accident, and will often cause them to provide their own extra security for as long as they are there. I am a thinking Guardian, but whenever I am at Gringotts, I still gladly provide my services towards bank security. They are my natural allies, after all- not unlike the Equestrian Agency.

So they probably knew it was me, but almost certainly didn’t care.

The second goblin properly processed Harry’s request. Harry was brought, alone, to a goblin interrogation chamber, where he consented to the use of truth potion. I think our minds are still connected on some level; I trust the goblins, and so he automatically trusts them, despite showing automatic distrust to basically everything else. By the same measure, I dislike Hogwarts, so when he saw the Hogwarts Crest all the way back on the twentieth, he wrinkled his nose at it and made up a reason to not even try to read it. I’m glad he refined that reason once Vernon gave him that bedroom, else it wouldn’t have stood and we wouldn’t have had this wonderful opportunity.

A little quick questioning and an antidote later, the Goblin confessional informed Harry that Albus Dumbledore had, by failing to inform him of his holdings prior to his tenth birthday, abdicated his post as Estate Guardian.

He also informed Harry that this meant his estate- and holdings- were wholly inaccessible, until a new one was assigned… or appointed. And he told Harry how to appoint one.

He immediately appointed me, as expected.

Magic accepted the appointment immediately, but Gringotts still had a fair amount of paperwork to be done about the change, so I took that time to go to the Records Office at the Ministry, which I’d deliberately left fully staffed for this purpose. I then used my magically verifiable authority as Lord Regent Potter to gain access to the Potter will, and once I had that in hand, I traveled straight back to Gringotts.

I also ran into an unwelcome goblin. When he spurned me, I challenged him to an honor duel- and as my magic-powered reaction speed is so fast that I can dismember and decapitate a goblin in the time that it takes a nervous impulse to travel from his brain to his hand, I won. Predictably.

The very speed of that victory served as proof of identity, but true to security, the second goblin still used the Truth Stone, which is basically a lie detector for magical constructs. Since I’m part-construct, part-being, I can fool it, but I have no reason to.

I had to wait another minute or two for Harry to finish with that paperwork, then we went down to meet his account manager with him- and he was evidently surprised by my rapidity. And even more so by the fact that I’d already retrieved his parents’ Will.

The Will was empowering to me- and because of it, I finally know why I’m a Black: It made me his parents’ second choice of Guardian, after only Lord Black himself.

Fitting. I do carry his mother’s heart and soul.

Once Harry finished crying himself out on my shoulder, we listened to Gornok listing off the Potter assets- only a tiny fraction as large as the Black assets- then I made arrangements with the Agent and sent them on their way with a bag of gold and a Hogwarts welcome kit I’d summoned from the Castle, through my authority as the owner by proxy.

Because while the Potter estate isn’t nearly as large and well-off as the Black estate, it does include Hogwarts.

Perhaps the only part about Harry’s parents’ will that I didn’t like was that it instructed that Harry should go to Hogwarts. So much for picking the ten best schools out of the bag Agent Honor Duel had brought and letting Harry pick one.

But it might actually be better this way. Hogwarts is still famed as the best school in the world, despite actually being the worst- but no wizarding school on Earth has ever had one of my kind at the reins.

As an example of what my kind can do, ever since I took control of it, the Black Estate has been the fastest-growing estate on Earth. That is not to say I am all-knowing, but my information gathering and processing ability is unparalleled.

I have assessed the current state of Hogwarts School, and sent letters to various staff members to ask for their opinions on how the school is working… while wording it as if I believed the official class roster was correct, which includes every single class I asked Agent Honor Duel about in that documented interview she gave me except only the ‘basic non-magical courses’ she reminded me of.

And while I wait for answers, I am combing through Magical Britain and the entire rest of the world, looking for fresh staff and sending invitations to apply to everyone I judge suitable. At the moment, I’m only looking for replacements for the proven inadequate teachers; Trelawney, Burbage, Vector, Sinistra, Babbling, Binns. I’m noting down candidates I find for other positions, but not actively sending invitations to apply just yet; I want to get the opinions of the staff at the school first.

I have also prepared Potter Manor for Harry, and moved him there, complete with the whole new wardrobe I had Agent Honor Duel help him acquire. There he will live alone- well, as alone as he can be with a dozen house-elves to tend to his every need, an active Floo connection, an owl, and a list of people to reach out to. Neville Longbottom, Daphne and Astoria Greengrass, Susan Bones, to name a few. At the moment, he’s reveling in the freedom of being away from Dudley and Vernon.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I should probably e-mail Princess Arienne about this, shouldn’t I? With me at the helm, Hogwarts will cater to the Crown’s every need- which will allow her to attend. And Hogwarts is likely the only magic school in the country that would be willing to do that.

Entry: Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021

Princess Arienne got back to me today, setting a time and date for my meeting. Tomorrow. That should work- I’ll have enough time to check the day’s mail and collect meeting materials before I stop by.

Entry: Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

The ball really started rolling today- I got a number of responses back from Hogwarts staff.

First was Madam Poppy Pomfrey, Hogwarts nurse… who technically isn’t even a nurse. She was simply a Healing student that Dumbledore hired straight out of her Hogwarts graduation ceremony some twenty years ago. She’d worked as an assistant to the prior Hogwarts Healer for two years… then the healer had retired, and she became the de-facto Hogwarts Medic, despite not holding any certifications beyond her Acceptable NEWT, which would normally see her unable to stay in the medical industry. She denied knowing much about the rest of the school, but did note that several of the teachers and subjects I’d asked about were unfamiliar to her. She also decried the absence of a proper Healer for the students, and informed me that Dumbledore was apparently stonewalling all attempts to hire even so much as another medical student to lighten the load.

On the other hand, all of the other staff members I contacted gave positively glowing reviews of her performance, and seemed to believe she was anywhere from a Healer to a Master Healer. Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress, seemed to be the only one aware that Madam Pomfrey was officially just a medical student; she explicitly stated that she believed Madam Pomfrey was a Mastery exam away from the paycheck she really should be earning.

I have sent Madam Pomfrey a follow-up letter to ask if she has considered taking a Nurse or Healer exam.

Professor Sinistra, of Astronomy, sent me a two foot scroll on how pretty the stars are. As Professor Trelawney of Divination said she usually has to teach her fourth-year students the basics of Astronomy so they can start calculating horoscopes, I have sent Sinistra an order of dismissal for dereliction of duty.

As for Trelawney herself, her letter was mostly complaining about the things she shouldn’t have to teach her students- and when I read between the lines, I had to wonder if she was intoxicated when she wrote it. This was backed up by most of the rest of the staff; she was never to be seen outside her tower without at least one bottle of sherry. Not only this but students were often heard to be complaining about the strong sherry smell in her tower room, and several of her colleagues informed me that she likes to welcome a new class by predicting the death of one of the students. Madam Pince, the librarian, informed me that every year, she hears students talking about how their Divination grades went up when they just started making tragedies up for their homework instead of doing the calculations properly. I have issued Trelawney an order of dismissal for dereliction of duty and drunkenness while on duty.

Binns answered my letter with an essay about a goblin rebellion in 1892. A quick stop at both Gringotts and the local bookstore resulted in several laughing tellers, and a quick disproving of his essay; it was a wizard rebellion, not a goblin one, and didn’t happen in nearly the way Binns stated. Combined with reports from his colleagues that all agreed with Agent Honor Duel’s assessment of the broken record, this was more than enough evidence to issue him an order of dismissal for dereliction of duty.

Professor Babbling wrote her letter in runes. As a magical construct, I am a natural expert at runes- but even after staring at her letter for over five minutes, I was not able to determine what cipher she thought she was using. My conclusion is that Agent Honor Duel, and the few other teachers that commented on her performance, were correct, and she actually has no idea what she’s doing most of the time. I have issued her an order of dismissal by disqualification.

Professor Vector seemed to think that addition tables were a thing. And subtraction tables.

He was having students memorize mathematical formula and their answers, rather than learning to calculate them.

He claimed that long multiplication and division is the pinnacle of mathematics.

He has been sent an order of dismissal by disqualification.

Then of course, Professor Burbage. Where do I start?

She explained that muggles live in walled cities and ride horse-drawn carriages between them. She said muggles only recently invented gears.

I have issued her an order of dismissal by disqualification, stapled to the front of a dual-clutch automotive transmission repair manual.

The last four were not nearly so bad. The four Heads of House are clearly qualified for their positions, to hear them praising each other, but they’re also clearly overworked- and interestingly, every single one of them places the blame for that at Albus Dumbledore’s feet. I have followed up with each of them asking them which of the positions they hold they would most like to see split off to new talent.

I also received thanks for application invitations from nearly a hundred different people, though only four of them were actually interested. I have sent them full details on the positions available to them, along with instructions for the accelerated application and interview process I will be using.

Finally, I have sent invitations to apply to the various people that met my criteria for Etiquette, Wizarding Culture, and all of the core non-magical subjects.

The mail dealt with, I collected a Hogwarts welcome kit and area map and met with the Royal Family.

Entry: Friday, August 6th, 2021

I have a letter from the Board of Directors informing me that they have elected to fire me for interfering with their Hogwarts. By the way their letter is written, it would seem they are aware of the discrepancy between the official and actual course lists.

I have issued them all orders of dismissal for dereliction of duty. I have also issued the Board a broad directive to indicate that the Board is being dissolved, and control returned from it back to the rightful owner, which gives me another reason to fire them all.

Madam Pomfrey has informed me that Dumbledore once told her he would have to let her go if she tried for Healer certification, as apparently Hogwarts has a rule that Healers must have at least five years of experience as a Healer before they can be hired. I checked, this rule does not exist; as such, I have once again followed up with Pomfrey, this time simply requesting a face-to-face meeting over the weekend.

Finally, I now have copies of the educational standards of over a dozen different magical nations, including Britain, France, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Australia, and even the United States. Comparing them has revealed that Britain’s magical education standards are a joke to the rest of the world, well behind even the United States, which also trails behind the rest of the world by a significant margin.

Entry: Friday, August 13th, 2021

Today marks the end of a productive week. Hogwarts now has a France-certified Professor of History, and I’ve narrowed the Astronomy position down to three candidates. Much of the latter achievement was an easy quiz- a majority of the candidates thought staring at the sky was enough.

Of probably greater importance than either of those core classes, though, is that just yesterday, on Thursday, Madam Pomfrey finally took her Healer Exam- albeit only after I had talked her into signing a contract that gave her the medical version of a teacher’s tenure, such that she can only be fired for malpractice or healer-certified dereliction of duty. I have no doubt she will remain working at Hogwarts until she decides to move on. That said, it was highly amusing to watch no less than a dozen of St. Mungo’s most famous and skilled Master Healers begging the newly-certified and very stunned Senior Healer Pomfrey to take them on as apprentices. According to the Masters that proctored her test, the main reason she didn’t get Master Healer certification is because her skills are a little lopsided; she actually scared them with how good she is in handling strange new cases, having resolved nearly half of the problems plaguing the Long Term Care Ward in under a day, but she has trouble with a routine check-up.

She will, of course, be receiving pay appropriate for a Senior Healer.

And Hogwarts is now decked out with a Senior Healer as Head of Infirmary, with four Master Healers working underneath her on a temporary basis. I am reasonably sure that the students will not have to go without medical attention this year- and Madam Pomfrey has informed me that she intends to use the spare capacity the infirmary is now likely to have to get ‘caught up on’ the annual check-ups all of the students are supposed to be getting. To be fair, she made air quotes around that, not me. Said the check-ups simply haven’t happened since her own first year as a student, back when Healer Coulson kicked the bucket, as the school healers just haven’t had time. Not even when she was helping that other elderly healer.

The Master Healers working with her have promised me that by the time the year is out, she’ll be qualified to take the Master Healer title herself- and be the finest healer in Britain.

Next to all that, dousing Princess Arienne and her guards with a bucket of diversion magic was hardly a footnote. She could have done her Hogwarts shopping in full regalia and introduced herself to all the shopkeepers as Princess Abigail (her public name) if she wanted to, but nobody would have realized they were talking to anyone special. Not even when they bowed and called her by her proper titles.

Magic is so convenient sometimes. She was worried at first, but when people kept greeting her by name, and calling her by her proper titles, but not seeming to realize that the Crown Princess was in their midst even when talking to her, she quickly became highly amused. She has asked me if it’s possible to set up a necklace, ring, or other bangle to have that effect on demand, or if I would have to be a part of it every time.

My answer surprised even me.

I’ll have to look into that.

Even with my immense, lightning-fast, construct-powered mind, I was not able to even conjecture how to compact all that magic into a bangle or similar within a couple seconds, but I also wasn’t able to rule it out.

And honestly, why didn’t I think of that myself? It would be so much easier. Especially when Bonbon’s agents start needing to sneak around- the girl herself has crossed this year, and it seems she’s keeping tabs on the news. She’s already put feelers out to make contact with me as the definitely-unsatisfied-with-Dumbledore owner of Hogwarts, in the hopes of finding a local ally.

I think I’ll let her look a little longer before I set something up to remind her of what she’s forgotten. It’s nothing significant- only that I’m not registered with the Wizarding Post Office, so her mail will only find me if it’s sent to Lord Regent Potter or Lord Regent Black. That’s deliberate, as it keeps the spam- and howlers- down.

And yes, ‘Lord Regent Black’. My official title is Acting Lady, but as far as the post office- and the House Magic- is concerned, I’m actually regent to Lord Sirius until he is both released from Azkaban and cleared of charges.

As such, all the mail that Dumbledore has sent to Lady Black over the ages has been returned undelivered. All the mail in which he’s been accusing me of ‘stealing’ the House of Black from him; he is the named Regent Black En Absentia, which gave him Regent power over the House until I claimed it shortly after my appearance.

Speaking of Dumbledore, I have given the Deathstick that I lifted off of him two weeks ago to Garrick Ollivander to bond one of my hairs to. This will work because, after I defeated Dumbledore, Harry is the Deathstick’s current master- and bonding my hair to it will both cause it to spurn any master which would use it for evil, and change its allegiance criteria. It shall never more change allegiance to the one that defeats its prior master; instead, it shall spread allegiance to those that endeavor to protect its prior master of their own free will, whether successful or otherwise.

Entry: Friday, August 20th, 2021

Another long week. Hogwarts now has professors for Astronomy, Etiquette, and all core non-magical subjects alongside quite a few non-core ones, and Astronomy is now an elective rather than a core subject. It was almost startling how easy it was to find Professors for standard non-magical subjects- all I had to do was send a notice to the Muggleborn Parenting Association. Not even six hours later, I had over a hundred applications from the teachers that tutor muggleborn Hogwarts students over the summer but want to teach throughout the year at the Castle itself. Each such subject has a full set of three teachers right now, and when they met Professor McGonagall on the Hogwarts Express, she said she was delighted to have so many new staff, even as she expressed concern over the budget- and their status as simply magic-aware muggles.

I took the opportunity to inform McGonagall that a magic wand is a deadly weapon, and I want any misuse of it at Hogwarts to be treated as such, not swept under the rug as Dumbledore is so fond of. She quickly agreed with me.

Entry: Friday, August 27th, 2021

It took almost a full week of interviews, but I have now hired Emma and Daniel Granger as Muggle Studies professors at Hogwarts; the castle is now back up to the bare minimum of two elective courses. Their daughter, a new Hogwarts student named Hermione Granger, is excited to help shape the curriculum; when I left, the three of them were pouring over the information I’ve gathered on exactly how ignorant wizards are, and thinking up the best ways to bring it back. Daniel has already informed me that they’ll likely need to offer Muggle Studies for the full seven years, so I have notified McGonagall.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I won’t be able to get further Professors this year.

That said, I’ve dropped an appropriate hint in an appropriate place for Bonbon to find.

Entry: Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Have you ever been convinced that you wouldn’t find anything, only to have it land in your lap? I knew the international rumor mill was going crazy about Hogwarts’ sudden hiring binge, but I certainly didn’t expect a Veela named Arienne Delacour to approach me at the Black family residence. Her husband, Head of Foreign Relations in Magical France Sebastian Delacour, is evidently capable of something Dumbledore has proven time and time again that he cannot do: Checking records. She applied directly for the Wizarding Culture class, but did so on condition that she also be allowed to teach senior Political Science. When I warned her that I don’t currently have any Professors for Political Science, she acknowledged and accepted that she would have to teach all years if she wanted to teach any year, so she has been hired.

And like all of the other new employment contracts, hers uses language that means that Dumbledore cannot get rid of her, despite technically being their overseer and employer. Her husband said he was impressed by the protections the contract gave her, then outright asked me who I was trying to protect my employees from. I merely smiled at him- and Professor Delacour promised to let him know as soon as she found out.

That said, while Hogwarts is down Divination, Arithmancy, Runes, and even Care of Magical Creatures (Professor Grubbly-Plank quit over the summer), it meets non-magical educational standards and is up Wizarding Culture, Etiquette, and Political Science.

In other news, I met up with Bonbon in Diagon Alley today, and she told me outright that she’s impressed with what I’m doing with Hogwarts and how quickly I’m doing it. She also thanked me for the files six years ago; as expected, she recognized me almost as soon as she saw me. Probably doesn’t hurt that her wand contains one of my hairs, and both she and Princess Luna are thankful for the protective effect this has on Agency secrets; once they found out that Ollivander was putting my hairs in wands, almost two years after he started doing it, every Agent not already carrying a Guardian Wand returned for a second wand… and acquired a Guardian Wand.

When I say ‘protective effect’, I mean it seriously. My magic is protecting their minds against the British Wizarding Geas that they didn’t even know existed until the second wave to get Guardian Wands started at Hogwarts. The geas that keeps British wizards so… backwards.

There is also a worldwide Wizarding Geas, primarily used to help prevent a magical war from breaking out, but it hasn’t been tampered with nearly as much as the Britain-specific one, so I don’t need to shield people from it.

Not that I’m not- it’s in my very nature to be immune to it, and as such in the nature of Guardian Wands made from my hair to shield their masters from all forms of mental interference.

Finally, Mrs. Delacour wasn’t the only surprise encounter; while I was out with Bonbon, she noticed a man in tattered clothes and told me he moved like he knew what he was doing, even while he was just shopping.

That man turned out to be Mr. Remus Lupin, werewolf and registered, approved, and highly successful private investigator.

I have acquired his services to inspect Hogwarts Castle, without telling him I own the place, to ‘make sure it has a safe environment for my sister’. I have also provided him with an Invisibility Cloak for the job forged out of my own magic, making it comparable to the Death’s Shroud that Dumbledore is hiding from Harry. Not the same, though- it won’t work for anyone I consider unfriendly, and is personally bound to Lupin, much like a wand, so he can summon it at will and it can’t hide anyone from him. Or me, but that’s beside the point. Another effect of the binding is that now Lupin is fully steeped in my magic as well, converting the ravenous monster of his werewolf side into a fierce protector… and also giving it a rather large firepower upgrade.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Yes, this section is also longer than Agent Honor Duel's. However, it's also bloated with administrative nonsense, so it doesn't count.

Chapter 12.1 - September 2021 - Harry Potter

Entry: Friday, September 3rd, 2021

We rode the Hogwarts Express today. We stayed together for the trip- me, Neville, Susan, and Daphne. Astoria won’t be coming to Hogwarts for another two years, and if the noises I’ve been hearing from Helia are anything to go by, the Hogwarts she’ll go to won’t be the same as the Hogwarts we’re going to.

Speaking of Helia, she gave me a necklace this morning before taking me to Platform Nine and Three Quarters- a necklace so steeped in diversion magic that nobody will realize that I’m The Boy who Lived.

I’m happy with that. Especially after that train ride, there were so many people looking for Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived. Thanks to the necklace, they could never find me- even when they were looking straight at me, and speaking to me, by name.

Neville, Susan, and Astoria know the truth, of course.

And it didn’t stop a certain Princess Arienne Fox- I could have sworn she was named Abigail, but whatever- from finding Harry Potter, Friend of Helia Black.

I didn’t realize Helia had friends in such high places as the Royal Family.

Something I was confused by, at least until I allowed my eyes to drift south a little, was that she introduced herself as the Crown Princess, and people addressed her by her proper titles… but I seemed to be the only one capable of realizing that the Crown Princess was in our midst. Even Princess Arienne seemed immensely amused to it- but as I mentioned, it was only a mystery until I allowed my eyes to drift south. Displayed proudly on her chest was another of Helia’s diversion necklaces. She was actually surprised to hear that I actually was the Boy who Lived- and also seemed to be an exception to my necklace. I know they’re useless against me because Helia’s magic is technically my magic, but I guess she keyed them to also be useless against each other.

I… don’t really have a problem with that. Helia keeps her cards close to her chest, and truly trusts very, very few- so if she gave Princess Arienne something this close to her heart, the girl must have her absolute trust. And Helia apparently also told her to look for me on the train, as if it wasn’t obvious enough already.

There was one other person that joined us in our compartment through the ride. A girl named Hermione Granger. She wasn’t an exception to either mine nor Arienne’s necklaces, but she did comment on just how many members of the Royal Guard seemed to be riding the Hogwarts Express- something which drew Susan’s attention instantly.

Princess Arienne drew an evidently immense amusement from joining the speculation on why the Royal Guard might be riding the Hogwarts Express. There was even more amusement to be had when I suggested that they might be looking to protect the Boy who Lived- though that also changed the topic to why the Crown might be interested in a magical celebrity.

Arienne’s immediate suggestion to that question made a lot of sense to me- that the Boy who Lived is famed for defeating the Dark Terrorist Voldemort, so of course the Crown might be interested in reproducing that effect- and protecting him from the Dark Terrorist’s followers.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the trip, for me at least, was when Susan mentioned that her Aunt had discovered extensive compulsions throughout the Ministry. There was a suspected link between the revelation- through Dis-Ease potioning of a large chunk of the Ministry, all at once- and the crushing of a certain Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore just two days earlier. That is to say, Director Amelia Bones, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, thinks both acts- and the cleansing draughts she discovered in her own food, likely protecting her from compulsions- were performed by the same Guardian Angel.

When I commented that Helia has always been like that, Arienne raised an eyebrow at me, but I think our necklaces kept anyone else from realizing what I’d said. I think she’s planning to get me on my own to ask me about that at some point, but I’m not sure when she’ll have an opportunity. I’m in Hufflepuff with Susan, and mostly because the Hat apparently talked to Helia and agreed that Slytherin wouldn’t be safe for me, but Arienne went to Slytherin with Daphne, leaving Neville to join Hermione in Gryffindor.

Anyways, after dinner, we went down into the dungeons next to the kitchens to find the Hufflepuff dormitory. There was a quick presentation by the senior prefects, which really just boiled down to ‘a lot of stuff is changing this year’, then they sent us all to bed.

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Chapter 12.2 - September 2021 - Arienne Fox

Entry: Friday, September 10th, 2021

My first week at Hogwarts is finally complete… and unfortunately, I must agree with Helia, the education on offer here- even with the upheaval she’s causing- is very disappointing. And from what I hear, it used to be even worse.

Also, thank the Lord Almighty that she came up with these diversion necklaces before I had to leave for the Hogwarts Express! As amusing as I find people’s behavior when I’m wearing them, they’re an absolute lifesaver in this kind of environment. I’ve already seen a lot of concerning magic- and my guards have rushed forwards to protect me twice already, both times fortunately uneventfully.

Speaking of the necklaces, when Helia told me to look for Harry Potter, I immediately noticed that the name was identical to that of the Boy who Lived- and sure enough, anyone on the train that I asked for Harry Potter knew instantly who I was talking about… but had no idea where he was.

Then I had started searching compartments myself, asking the occupants, one by one, and letting my new necklace keep people from realizing what I was doing. I didn’t find him- or at least, I didn’t think I had, at first. My attention was grabbed about halfway down the train by a boy wearing a necklace- which took me only a second to recognize as one of Helia’s diversion necklaces. Only a few seconds after that, it became evident that he was an exception to the diversion magic, and as such warranted closer inspection.

Then he turned out to be Harry Potter, The Boy who Lived. Interestingly, while his companions all seemed to know about that, they did not seem to be exempt from the necklaces. My first thought was they were other friends of his- and I now know that’s true. Not for very long, but he’s been making friends lately.

And of course, they also now know my name, and noticed the Royal Guards on the train, but failed to realize that they were talking to the reason why they were there. They even failed to realize that two such Guards had taken up stations on either side of the door on the outside, once they had ascertained that Harry and his companions didn’t pose a threat.

But all along, I kept my eyes and ears open- and by the time the Sorting Hat finished its strange song once we reached the school, I knew what the four Houses were.

Gryffindor, the House of Heroes, favors bravery and bullheadedness. Why Hermione wanted to go there so badly, I have no idea, but she got her wish.

Slytherin, the House of Enemies, favors cunning and guile. The Hat spent two whole minutes convincing me to accept a place there, and even a week later, I’m still not sure it was the right choice. For one thing, blood purity is everything in this House- and by their definition, my blood might as well be mud.

I will have their heads for that affront. Not that they know they’ve made it, Thank Helia.

Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, two more to make up the numbers. One favoring learning, the other favoring hard work. Harry wanted to ‘disappear’, so naturally he got one of these- the two Houses that nobody expects anything from.

And of course, Harry made a comment on the train that suggested that he knows a side of Helia that I’ve never seen, and has known it for quite some time. It took all week before I managed to get him alone for a conversation- except for my guards, of course. He confessed, with absolute confidence, that Helia has always been there for him whenever he needed her most, without fail- and he felt safe because he knew she always would be, even when he couldn’t see her. As for the comment on the train, he revealed that she’s a vicious fighter- and also a dirty fighter, such that no technique is beneath her, no matter how unethical or inhumane, if it will give her the edge she needs.

And of course, she’s always been like that. Doing what needs to be done, without regard for the legality or ethicality of it- nor, even, for if someone else would think it needed to be done. Harry outright told me that he suspected she’d potioned half the Ministry like that for some reason related to the visit he had from the Ministry that same day. Anything more specific than that was a mystery to him, but putting half the Ministry of Magic out of action just to ensure a certain result for a single person… She’s scary.

That conversation made me immensely grateful that I was already in Helia’s good graces. As is Harry- as a matter of fact, I got the strange feeling that it was guaranteed for Harry, hence why he’s so utterly fearless. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the answer to the question I most wanted to ask him- he didn’t know what she is.

Then, on my way away from that meeting, satisfied- for the moment- with my answers… I ran across a girl named Bonbon. She’s got brightly colored hair, a demeanor that reminds me of the SIS, and a penchant for disappearing into the shadows, only to reappear right when and where you least expect her.

She’s also in Slytherin, like me. Unlike me, though, she sleeps in the public dormitory- and I understand she gets along well with all the other Slytherin girls, even though a couple of them have confessed to me that they find her somehow terrifying.

As it happened, Bonbon was looking for me, and asked for a private conversation.

Unlike some of the other people that have tried to get me alone, she actually held the door for my guards when we entered an empty classroom, then sealed it behind them; most other people tried to block the guards out too.

That little action raised not just my eyebrows, but those of one of the guards as well- though he kept his peace. No doubt it’ll be in his report, though- alongside a transcription of the meeting and the recording I know he was making.

Still, though. It seems Bonbon is good enough to penetrate Helia’s diversion magic- though it still took her a while, and she still didn’t seem certain when she then confronted me.

“Miss Fox… you don’t happen to be Princess Abigail Fox of the United Kingdom, do you?”

Arienne blinked, then glanced down to check her necklace. Yes, it was still there. She looked back up at Bonbon, her eyes narrowing. “I do,” she muttered softly. “Why?”

Bonbon nodded. “Ahh, that explains it. You’ve got some really powerful diversion magic there- do you mind if I ask where you got it?”

She snorted. “Helia made it.”

She’d expected the statement to be ignored- the diversion magic seemed to actively hide Helia’s existence, should she come up- so the way Bonbon’s gaze snapped to hers caught her off guard.

“You’ve met Helia?” Bonbon asked softly. It wasn’t a threatening tone, but rather than the earlier curious tones, it was definitely a no-nonsense, business tone.

The guards shifted slightly at the sudden change in the tone of the conversation.

Arienne narrowed her eyes again. “And what if I have?” she asked sharply.

Bonbon nodded minutely- an acknowledgement that she had answered the question, despite having meant to leave it unanswered. Drat, this girl could read her at least as well as the SIS agents could, and she basically couldn’t keep secrets from them! She trained with them regularly, but she wasn’t there yet- she wasn’t ready for this surprise test!

“Are you aware of what she is?” Bonbon asked.

Arienne blinked- this girl knew what Helia was!?

This girl also evidently saw the answer in her eyes, because she went on unprompted.

“Helia… is something the local magical world calls a Guardian Angel.”

She snorted. “Aren’t those, like, angels?”

Bonbon let out a laugh. It was a somewhat harsh laugh, and very brief. “As if,” she answered. “It’s really a very misleading term. Sure, they’re guardians, but they’re not angels. Even Helia herself disavowed it.” She sighed. “A more correct term, and the one used by the parts of the Multiverse that actually understand them… is trauma avatar.”

She blinked again. “Trauma…?”

She nodded. “Avatars like her spawn from the heart and soul of badly abused magical children, with the sole purpose to protect those children. They’re absolutely merciless and otherwise extremely deadly killing machines- normally, at any rate. I’m pretty sure Helia was herself, at first- but the average life expectancy for a Trauma Avatar is about a week, thanks to a truly insane mortality rate from accidents, combat, or even just exorcism, as they are considered dangerous.

“And Helia is at least six years old. In that much time, she seems to have gained a properly sentient mind- so my superiors back in Equestria, across the worldwall, think it’s probably safe to let her live, even after we defeat whatever it is that she’s afraid of.”

She blinked. “She’s afraid?” she gasped disbelievingly; Helia had always been calm and compassionate, but as solid as a stone foundation, giving Arienne the impression that she didn’t even know what fear was.

“She asked for help. August first, two thousand and fifteen, by your calendar.

“And Trauma Avatars never ask for help. They’re absolutely fearless destroyers, and she’s the most powerful one we’ve ever even heard of- so powerful she’s among the top three magical things in existence, that we’re aware of at least, and both of the others are revered as gods. We… aren’t sure which of those top three slots she holds, but we’re pretty sure it’s not the lowest one.

“Yet, she’s so very obviously afraid of something. Something which can scare a fearless destroyer that rivals gods, something so dangerous that she’s been gathering powerful allies- Equestria, the British Royal Family if she’s made contact with you, the Goblins of Gringotts, a vast majority of people that have bought wands from Ollivanders’ over the last six years, and undoubtedly more- but still hasn’t made her move.

“Something so dangerous that she has seen fit to fight it by protecting the masses- another thing that Trauma Avatars never do.”

“What is it?” she asked directly, shifting into her own business tone.

Bonbon didn’t miss a beat. “We think she’s fighting a legacy, or perhaps societal direction, more than a person, but we don’t know. We only know that she absolutely demolished Dumbledore a month ago- but very deliberately didn’t kill him. He’s obviously one of her enemies… but for some reason, she didn’t kill him, yet. That’s another thing Avatars never do- leave their enemies alive, for any reason.”

“Huh,” she muttered, and rubbed her chin. Then she blinked. “Wait. So the reason my wand-!”

“Her hair,” Bonbon informed her. “It’s a Guardian Wand, right?”

She nodded.

“So is mine. It’s her hair- she is the Guardian in question.”

“Should I be worried?”

Bonbon shook her head. “Guardian-infused magical instruments, such as Guardian Wands, are known to only function for those that the Guardian feels are worthy of their protection- and that’s true for nearly every possible type of Guardian, including both humans and Trauma Avatars. For as long as that wand answers to your command, you can be sure she will not hurt you- and could instead come to your protection when you are most in need.”

“She does that already.”

“Then, if she hasn’t already informed you of her fight or asked for assistance, she probably sees you as a natural ally- that is to say, she recognizes that you would help her in her mission as a matter of course. The Goblin Nation is a natural ally to almost all Avatars, so they’re… much more permissive. The reports have indicated Gringotts is aware of who and what she is, and fully supports her mission- all the way to the point of ignoring her murdering two tellers, one in an honor duel that demonstrated an Avatar’s lethality and the other as an assassination.”

“That demonstrated…?”

“Are you aware of the chunky salsa rule?”

She blinked at the apparent non-sequitur. “Uh… Yeah.”

“Her kind has a propensity to demonstrate it. She didn’t- no doubt being kind to whoever would have had to clean up the mess- but she had that goblin dismembered and decapitated so fast it looked like all she did was put her weapon away.”

Arienne didn’t miss her guards sharing a look with each other. “Do we know…” She paused. “It’s Harry,” she muttered.

Bonbon tilted her head. “Harry?”

She looked at Bonbon, then decided to trust her. She had a sneaking feeling that this conversation wouldn’t be happening if Helia didn’t want it to, especially with as deadly as Bonbon said Helia was, and she already knew she could trust Helia, deadly or otherwise. “Harry said Helia is always there for him when he needs her the most- and that’s why he doesn’t feel fear any more. He knows she has his back, always.”

Bonbon rubbed her chin. “It’s… possible that she sprung from him,” she observed. “He didn’t strike me as an abused child, though, and Trauma Avatars almost always look like their hosts. Unless…” She paused, gazing at the wall. “If she sprung from him, she could have forged him into a soldier of his own, only letting on what he wants to let on.” She scowled. “And if she’s given you diversion magic, she’s almost certainly given him diversion magic.”

“She has. Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived that nobody realizes is in their midst.”

“Not unlike Princess Fox, the Crown Princess that nobody realizes is in their midst,” Bonbon observed, though her eyebrow had quirked at Harry’s title. “Speaking of, your nameplate says Arienne, but the Crown says Abigail. Which should I…?”

“Abigail is my public name,” she answered. “Arienne is the name we only use in private, where people won’t find out. I consider it to be my true name.”

“Yet you’re using it here?”

She shrugged. “Diversion magic, remember. Nobody realizes I have anything to do with the Crown, even when they use my proper titles.” She tapped her necklace. “Fair warning, if you meet me in public when I’m not wearing this necklace, I’m Abigail.”

“The magic is tied to it,” Bonbon observed, though her tone suggested it wasn’t a new observation.

She nodded. “It is. Helia said it’s unstealable.”

She snorted. “An easy feat for someone that powerful- especially Trama Avatars, which already have far finer control over their magic than any creature, thanks to being forged of magic themselves.” She tilted her head. “Do you know where she got them?”

“She made them,” she answered. “Took her two weeks to cram it into an amulet- she had to cast it all directly for my Diagon Alley shopping.”

Bonbon blinked. “Damn, she must’ve crammed some insane protections in there.” She shrugged. “Like other magical constructs, Trauma Avatars’ minds work like computers,” she provided, by way of an explanation. “They think lightning fast, and have an intrinsic knowledge of magic, so needing two weeks suggests a huge array of mutually exclusive spells she had to force to work together.”

Arienne scowled. “She didn’t seem like a construct to me.”

“Of course she didn’t. And she didn’t seem like one to me either when I met her a few days before the Hogwarts Express- even her magical signature has changed. Not so much that it’s unrecognizable, but enough that she now reads as human rather than as a construct like an avatar. I can only assume she’s now a human-construct hybrid, likely combining the strengths of both, and grown beyond a simple Trauma Avatar. How she did that… we have no idea.”

“Interesting,” she muttered. “So, uh, why are you here? Equestria, I mean. Unless I got that wrong?”

“Nope, you got that right. Equestria is an Absolute Diarchy led by the two benevolent pseudo-goddesses I mentioned earlier- and our main goal in this world right now is to wage war with whatever it is that is scaring Helia. Once that’s done with, our universe is collapsing, so we’re on the hunt for a new one to move the nation into- that’s actually the reason we opened the portals in the first place- and this world is a prime candidate. As such, we’re… well, looking for local allies for the war at the moment, but also for the eventual saving of our entire people.” She sighed, then went on, shifting into a matter-of-fact tone.

“When one of our Agents guided the Boy who Lived through Diagon Alley, she found him with his aunt, uncle, and cousin at Number Four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. The uncle and cousin are morbidly obese, and all three of them were demonstrably abusive towards Harry, though we have evidence that they were being forced to be so by a blood-anchored ward of some kind- even the negligence regarding Dudley Dursley is probably magically forced, and by an unknown party- neither our agent nor Director Bones of the DMLE were able to identify the caster. We haven’t taken any action in regards to the Dursley household, instead leaving that to more local governments, but we are aware that Helia has taken total guardianship over Harry and removed him from that household. Since the blood ward is keyed to him, it is likely to collapse on its own within the next couple of years; taking it down by force is likely to kill whomever it is anchored on- which could easily be Harry, and probably is, since Helia hasn’t taken it down herself.” She shuddered in uncharacteristic fear. “I’d hate to find out by forcing Helia to stop us.”

Arienne listened carefully to what sounded very much like a military briefing, then glanced sideways at one of her guards- who gave a short nod to indicate that it was recorded, since that definitely sounded important, possibly even to national security. “Are you telling me this to gain my favor?” she asked directly.

Bonbon quirked a small grin. “If I’m being honest, yes, maybe a little. But I’m a fighter, not a diplomat- we haven’t sent any of those through the portal yet, and probably won’t until we’re satisfied that the war is under control.” She sighed. “I mainly work alone, but I’m not afraid of seeking allies when the enemy is too great for me to manage. And if Helia has sought both of us out to help her, we’ll be able to help her better by working together than we could ever hope to do apart.”

“And you trust that helping Helia is the right thing to do?”

She shrugged. “I do now. If the Royal Family is her natural ally, her enemy is also an enemy of your country- and you just don’t know it yet.” She sighed. “Given the wide array of allies she’s gathering, I can only assume that the Dark Lords Grindelwald and Voldemort look like toddlers throwing tantrums next to our true enemy.” She met Arienne’s eyes. “And it’s likely that the World Wars from not too long ago in your history look like the squabbling of children when compared to the battle we could have coming.”

Arienne winced. “Mutually assured destruction,” she muttered.

Bonbon nodded. “I don’t have any evidence to this effect, but my gut tells me that even nuclear war would be tame next to our worst case scenario.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Princess Luna Lumine of Equestria… can sling moons around.”

Author's Note

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Chapter 12.3 - September 2021 - Daphne Greengrass - Origin

Entry: Thursday, September 16, 2021

Arienne has always been a mystery wrapped in an enigma. She put all the best-educated Upstanding Purebloods to shame with her skillful formalities on her very first day at Hogwarts- and don’t even get me started on how she has her own private bedroom! She’s obviously from an incredibly important family… yet, whenever she’s not surrounded by idiots, she’s also incredibly free-spirited.

And of course, she completely ignored the traditional House rivalry today, plucking a falling Gryffindor out of the air with some very fast wand work during our first flying lesson. Not only that, but to make it doubly impressive, she did that while riding a broom for what she said was the first time in her life!

I’m pretty sure it’s very un-Slytherin-like of me to say this, but she scares me. Yet, I also love her. As a friend, of course- I’d never be so improper as to suggest otherwise. It caught me by surprise that first day- September Fourth, I think it was, the day after the Hogwarts Express brought us to school. It was a Saturday, the day the Professors gave us all tours of the Castle and finally turned us loose to explore it on our own. That was also the day that Arienne- who I’ve taken to calling Princess Arienne, a label that amuses her for some reason- basically beelined to me. When I think about it, I really shouldn’t have been surprised; out of everyone in our compartment on the Express, I was the only one that was sorted into the same House as her.

Just like on the Express, her curiosity, ingenuity, energy, and amusement were unstoppable- except rather than mostly towards Harry, who she seemed to be able to identify despite whatever diversion magic his friend gave him, she pointed it all towards me.

And that was unsettling. Here she was: The one girl in the entire school that could be the perfect example of a noble lady on a moment’s notice- the way she shut Draco down on the train was evidence enough- but also the one first-year in the school capable of casting several different spells not just silently but wandlessly. Even just starting her first year in formal magical education, she’s already a formidable opponent in both the political arena and the magical one. Yet, somehow ill-informed about certain major issues…? Combined with her anger at the blood purists, I can only assume she was muggle-raised.

That would explain why she practically stormed to Professor Snape when she saw that the second common room password for October was due to be ‘Mudblood’. It’s not anymore- when Professor Snape wasn’t able to calm her fury, he agreed to change it. Not that ‘Muggle-Blood’ is any better- Arienne is still miffed about it- but she’s refraining from hexing teachers over it.

It still boggles my mind that she defeated a registered duelist in what amounted to a magical duel before her first lesson in the same!

I only know she did that because I happened to be in the common room when she saw the sign early on Sunday, the Meet And Greet day, and I followed her when she promptly stormed out of the room. Professor Snape was still only half awake when she nearly ripped his office door off its hinges, so that might have been a factor in his inability to defend himself from her wandless onslaught.

In any case, ever since Tour Saturday, we’ve been friends. She keeps secrets- she keeps so many I can almost smell them- but then again, so do I. We both understand that, and respect each other’s right to keep our secrets, so neither of us pry.

And the reason she sought me out that day… was because I was a friend of Harry Potter, The Boy who Lived, and she was very interested in him.

Not about the Boy who Lived, though. Only Harry Potter as a person. She doesn’t care about his fame. But she was curious how I had become his friend.

And that… boy, wasn’t that a surprise. A little over a month ago now, a pure white snowy owl, apparently named Hedwig, had shown up while I was having breakfast with Father, Mother, and my sister Astoria. And in her beak was… an invitation to a tea party, addressed to all four of us. We’d all expected that to be from a girl- only girls offer tea parties- so we’d all been caught by surprise when it turned out to be from the Boy who Lived himself, and the address of the party was Potter Manor.

We went, of course.

At that party, Father was noticeably worried about Harry, given his looks- and Harry readily revealed that he had been raised by… unkind muggles, but was now out from under their boots.

And that had been the start. The revelation that he’d contacted Longbottom and Bones first, and had similar tea parties with them, had been unsurprising- unlike the House of Greengrass, Longbottom and Bones are long-standing allies to the House of Potter. Yet Harry didn’t seem to care about our differences, and when he introduced me and Astoria to Neville and Susan on a later visit, he helped us get over the initial ice and become fast friends.

I swear, that boy was a natural Slytherin, forging new alliances and renewing old ones as naturally as he breathed… yet he still landed in Hufflepuff. Now that I’m thinking about it, that’s in line with one of Arienne’s observations on the train- that the true house for a true Slytherin… is not Slytherin at all, but anywhere but Slytherin.

I asked the Hat for Slytherin anyways, simply because that’s where I was expected to be and I don’t want to stand out. But Harry? He showed us that necklace he got from somewhere, and told us it’s got diversion magic on it so nobody but us can figure out that he’s the Boy who Lived. Well… nobody but us and Arienne for some reason, as it turned out, but still. Then he explained that he wants to just disappear into the woodwork, so to speak, and go unnoticed by most. I think he’s managed that- nobody reacted any differently when McGonagall called his name in the sorting, and I’ve heard several people commenting that the Boy who Lived must not be coming to Hogwarts this year.

I’m also ‘insignificant’ to my peers… though, being from a longstanding pureblood family, I wouldn’t be if I wasn’t in Slytherin.

Sooner or later, all the other boys and girls are going to find out why it’s a bad idea to discount me and- especially, I think- Arienne as insignificant.

They think she’s insignificant because she maintains friends across other Houses. Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom in our traditional enemy house of Gryffindor, then Susan Bones and of course Harry in Hufflepuff. She’s not shy about it either- that’s what she had to shut Draco down about on the Sunday after the Tour Day, the ‘Staff Meet and Greet Day’. He didn’t learn anything on the train.

Everyone had expected Draco to start lording over the rest of the House this year, since his father is right up next to the Minister and on the Hogwarts Board of Governors… but no. Instead, Arienne has come out as the true master of Slytherin House, and people are afraid of defying her. Draco seems to be scrambling to become her number one minion, even- but she shuts him down on almost a daily basis, since he can’t seem to learn.

I’ve seen people try to curse her five times now. Two of them were caught by teachers, one was clubbed out by a nearby Royal Guard- what they are doing at Hogwarts I still don’t know- and the other two were taken by her dastardly return fire. All five are in very hot water, with the threat of expulsion hanging over their heads for ‘improper use of a magic wand’.

But that’s enough about Arienne. This is my journal, not a biography.

I have been enjoying my classes. There’s a lot more going on at Hogwarts than I heard there would be from various other purebloods that went before me; from what I hear now that I’m here, it’s all new. Math, reading, writing, latin, science. Not an ounce of magic in any of those core classes, but I’m enjoying them- especially science. Who knew that muggles could do things that even magic could not, simply through an understanding of the world around them? Well, and I suppose Latin is technically related to magic. It’s a language class, but it’s a core class because all our incantations come from latin, and an understanding of the language will not just make us better at incanting but enable us to adjust our incantations on the fly for our specific use case- or, if combined with Arithmancy, cook up entirely new spells on the fly.

Then there’s the electives- some of which are available all the way down in first year. Students are not required to take any electives in the first two years, and only required to take two each year thereafter; that requirement hasn’t changed. However…

For my first year, I’ve picked Muggle Studies because I’ve always been curious about them, Political Science because it’ll be necessary when I grow up, and finally Etiquette because I’m curious what the class is about. Or at least, I was- and Arienne was delighted when I spontaneously used her as a practice subject for some of the things I’ve already learned there.

While also demonstrating that she’s evidently been taught it all from a much younger age- when she wants to, she gives off an even more refined air than the teacher does!

I’ve found myself trying to figure out what noble House she’s from… but I can’t seem to find it. Her surname, Fox, doesn’t appear in any of the books I have access to- so maybe her family is a branch of one of the others, born from a daughter of the House? Or maybe the House had a female Heir inherit, and that resulted in a new name? But I haven’t found any records of that!

And now I’m back onto Arienne. She’s just… I said it earlier, didn’t I? A mystery wrapped in an enigma.

So… how about I turn back to the class that made me want to write this entry in the first place? It was our first flying lesson of the year. Gryffindor and Slytherin were there together, and Madam Hooch had all the shiny new school brooms laid out neatly. The beginning of the class was rather uneventful- until the wind caught one of the Gryffindor boys. Neville was already nervous and jumpy, but he was also doing really well- until that wind made him wobble. He reacted by pulling the handle of his broom up to hug it… which is the command to make it shoot up into the sky like a cork shot from a bottle.

Naturally, it did that. Then he looked down, and fell off his broom. Arienne did her magic thing to soften his landing, and seemed annoyed that she wasn’t fast enough to save him from a sprained wrist, even though Hermione assured her the fall would probably have been lethal, meaning she’d most likely saved his life.

So Madam Hooch told everyone to get down on the ground and wait while she took Neville up to the Hospital Wing… because apparently a sprained wrist means he can’t just use his other hand to open doors, or something? Whatever.

Then Malfoy found something in the grass. A clear glass ball- a Remembrall, specifically. The one he was showing his friends at the Gryffindor table this morning.

Then he took off into the air, threatening to leave it in a tree for Neville to find.

And Arienne flicked her wand, plucking it right out of his hand and making it fly down to hers.

When, at the end of the lesson, Madam Hooch asked Arienne if she wanted to play Quidditch for Slytherin… her answer shocked the whole class.

“Absolutely not.”

“Alright, just- wait, what?” Madam Hooch asked, blinking.

“I said absolutely not,” Arienne confirmed. “I want no part in a violent game that’s designed to make one player more important than the entire rest of the team.”

“But you would-!”

“Absolutely. Not,” Arienne barked, straight into Madam Hooch’s face. “I am not playing that man-killer of a game and nothing you say is going to change that.”

Continued: Thursday, September 16, 2021

And now I’m back to Arienne again. She’s on my mind far more often than I care to admit. A mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Author's Note

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Fun fact: For some reason, in my doc, this section wasn't labeled as an 'Origin' section, despite being the only part Daphne has in the entire story.

Chapter 13 - October 2021 - Arienne Fox - Final Chapter

Entry: Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Did you know, the only sports teams this school has are the House Quidditch teams? And Quidditch is exactly what it sounds like: “Quit it”, spoken by someone with a concussion. Probably given to them by a Bludger. Seriously, that game is designed to kill its players! Nevermind that the teams are pitted head-to-head in a clear bid to create rivalry between the Houses.

So I’ve been asking around, and digging around- and just today, I finally managed to get enough people interested to get a new after-school club approved.

The Football Club is now the only student club in the entire school. Hopefully more will follow.

Most of the members are muggle-raised, of course; all the wizard-raised students had to be told what football even is. A good thirty or forty of them expressed interest in watching the first match we hold- and they all still seem to think we’ll be building teams based on each House.

Spoiler alert, we won’t. Sure, if we get enough members, we might end up organizing some regular teams and putting them head-to-head in a tournament, but the teams will still not be bound by House lines. For now, we’re just one big team playing against itself in order to have fun.

Doesn’t exactly help that we only have ten members right now, including myself.

That said, given the contents of this castle, I’d have to say it’s not a bad birthday present.

That reminds me of my last birthday, when Helia told me I’m magical. One year, and now that I’m learning magic, the first thing I do is bring non-magical stuff to Hogwarts!

Oh well. Our first game is tomorrow evening; the Ravenclaw Quidditch team has the pitch today. We’re eager to show the wizard-raised what they’re missing out on. All except for our one wizard-raised member, but Daphne Greengrass is eager to find out what she’s been missing out on instead. It’s actually surprised me with just how close of friends we’ve become; I only sought her out that first day because she was evidently friends with Harry, and I wanted to know more about the people he associated with. It quickly- so very quickly- became more than that.

She might die of shock when she finds out I’m a real Princess, though. She calls me Princess, but she means it as a joke- probably because I frequently carry myself as a proper Princess, even in this school.

Especially when Draco tries to suck up to me. It actually took me two weeks to realize that’s what he was trying to do, because he’s going about it that wrongly. He obviously thinks I’m from an unidentified but high-ranking magical family- and to him, who was raised in a cesspit of pureblood supremacy, that means both that I’m pure-blooded and that I despise muggles and muggleborn.

Which means he’s trying to get into my good graces by demonstrating how discriminatory he can be. It’s… sickening, but he’s well-meaning, I think, so I’ve been nudging him in the right direction.

Firmly.

He’s learning, I think- but it’s going to take time. A lot of time.

Daphne enjoys watching my interactions with him, even studying them. She says it’s one thing to be told how to do it in an Etiquette class, but it’s another thing entirely to see it done in front of her- and as I’ve told her, I’m always happy to help if she wants to practice.

She does. A lot.

Because of that, I’ve figured out that I’ve piqued her interest. She’s been trained from a young age, though not nearly as rigorously as myself… but she’s still an inquisitive girl to the core. Her curiosity knows no bounds, and I think she’s projecting that particular quality of herself onto me as well, but I’m not worried about it- I am also curious by nature, even if not to the same degree as she.

Entry: Wednesday, October 13, 2021

How did she do it? Even Bonbon admitted to knowing nothing of it, and she’s shown herself to be at least as capable as the entire SIS in that regard!

But… Yeah. We showed the purebloods what they were missing out on. It was-

It was sooooo much bigger than I had even dreamed of. And let’s not forget that Mom was there too! Yet I knew nothing about it. Neither did my guards, for that matter. Not until we were actually inside the little stadium.

But… after that little, er, performance… the Football Club now numbers over half the school and all four Quidditch teams have lost players. The smallest remaining Quidditch team is the Gryffindor one, now composed of seven empty slots. Even Oliver Wood, who people tell me is a Quidditch fanatic, has abandoned the death game for football!

Most of the staff are, of course, shocked. And I’d be willing to bet the Ministry of Magic hasn’t heard so much as a peep.

You see… when ten middle school students get together to start a football club, it’s rather unlikely that government representatives from around the world will come to watch, including no less than five monarchs. It’s rather unlikely that those ten middle school students will spend their very first club meeting engaging in friendly- though short- matches against no less than twelve different football teams, three of which were professionals with the rest also being formed of middle school students from the various schools around.

It’s rather unlikely that the Quidditch Pitch will suddenly become an entire football stadium packed to the gills with what had to be twenty or thirty thousand people, just because ten middle school students wanted to play football.

And of course, it’s rather unlikely that the Queen will publicly present the leader of those ten middle school students with a gift.

Next to all that, the fact that the umpire for every single one of those matches was none other than Lady Helia Jennifer of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Duchess of Hogsmeade and Kent and Strathearn, really wasn’t all that surprising.

It wasn’t hard to figure out the why; it was decided that I’d stay at Hogwarts for my birthday, since a few magical laws would have made it so much more difficult to do anything else that it scarcely bore thinking on. And I know Mom was eager to be shown around her daughter’s school by the Deputy Headmistress; that happened after the… event, as the sun was going down.

Now, with Helia as the umpire, I’m certain she was involved in turning what was supposed to be a first club meeting into a very real royal birthday party that nobody realizes is exactly that. But how? How on earth could she orchestrate such madness, yet- and she assured me of this when I asked- she did not break the Statute of Secrecy, despite having over ten thousand non-magic-aware muggles in the crowd!

I will admit, though, it was immensely amusing to watch Daphne face a surprise etiquette exam, through the simple expedient of being directly addressed by Her Majesty the Queen, as the ‘first officer’ of our football club. I thought she managed to scrape a passing grade, but she later told me she thought she’d failed sooo badly. She practically melted in relief when I told her. Then she begged me to help her make sure she wouldn’t fail next time, because a member of the Royal Family- which she said was the only set of muggles that all British wizards feared, thanks to their Oaths of Citizenship- knew her name.

Now that was something I’d never heard before.

So I asked, of course, and she explained.

After giving me a look that said all too plainly that her latest theory as to my ancestry was just turned on its head, at least.

Simply put, the Oath of Citizenship is an oath of obedience and loyalty to the Crown that every magical swears. It’s an ‘inheritable’ oath that binds magical descendants as well, so there are entire families of wizards- like the Weasleys- that have forgotten that the Oath even exists, but which are still bound by it. It’s a very complex oath, with both self-enforcing sections and outside-enforced sections. The former is primarily to deal with not knowingly trying to harm the Royal Family, and ensuring that new muggleborn- who don’t inherit it- either take the oath or are rendered incapable of magic. It also ensures that immigrants have to take the oath as a condition of their being allowed to stay.

The latter, the parts enforced from outside, are more about compliance with the law. The magic doesn’t know the law, so that part of the Oath really just accelerates the judicial process. If the Royal Family accuses them of a crime, their magic will judge them- and if found guilty, they will lose their magic on the spot.

There’s also apparently a clause that releases someone from that Oath- or a majority of it, at any rate- in the event that they should move to another country and forfeit their British citizenship.

Anyways, Daphne said that while her father explained it to her, she herself inherited it, so she’s not familiar with the terms. When I asked Hermione, though, she explained that when Professor McGonagall had arrived to introduce the magical world to her, she’d been given a choice to either take the oath and the opportunity to learn magic together… or refuse the oath, have her magic sealed, and continue to live as she already was. She was also able to produce a written copy of the oath and, upon reviewing it, I would have to say I approve of it. The whole thing basically boils down to ‘I will not use magic to commit treason’, after all; Daphne was wrong, it’ll only cause a wizard’s magic to judge them if the Crown accuses them of a major crime punishable by death or life imprisonment, such as treason.

I sent a copy of it to Mom, of course. This is going to be important for us to know about.

On my way to the Owlery, I ran into Helia- who told me that I, as a member of the Royal Family and its line of succession, am not subject to the Oath of Citizenship, but rather to what’s called the ‘Royal Oath’- which is basically a promise to serve as a benevolent ruler. That one apparently passes down by the line of succession, including through non-magical lines, so even though the most recent person to actually take it died over six hundred years ago, I’m still bound by it. She gave me a couple copies of the text, of course- both original and translated. It’s fully self-enforcing, and just like the Oath of Citizenship, the punishment for breaking it is simply the loss of my magic.

I… can’t disagree with it either, though I’m definitely going to be careful about any possibility of friendly fire; if I make an unprovoked, unsolicited attack against a ‘law-abiding citizen’, or am so reckless in stopping a criminal that such law-abiding citizens are unduly harmed, I will lose my magic.

Not that I wasn’t already being careful about friendly fire.

That said, the presence of that Oath did make me wonder.

“So… when I attacked Professor Snape on the first Sunday, why didn’t…?”

Helia shrugged. “He’s a repentant Death Eater,” she answered. “Terrorist. He does regret what he did, and has been trying to atone for it for the last ten years, so I haven’t removed him from the school yet; he serves far too many critical roles that I wouldn’t be able to refill quickly. As far as your Royal Oath is concerned, there’s no such thing as repentance, atonement, or repatriation. Your magic noticed his dark past and decided that you could do what you wanted with him.”

She blinked. “There’s a terrorist at this school?”

She nodded. “Potions Master, Professor of Potions, Head of Slytherin House, Dark Expert. Two of those are insanely difficult to fill, especially since most people that would qualify as Dark Experts have… let’s say storied pasts. He might actually be the best man for the job- but I also put him on probation because his behavior has been a bit less than stellar these last several years.”

She snorted. “A bit less than stellar?” she asked. “So he hasn’t improved?”

She chuckled. “That was a bit of an understatement. He was much better at the start of the year than he was last year, and he’s continued to improve his behavior. I’m getting the distinct impression that Headmaster Dumbledore actually encouraged him to bully his students.”

“What.”

She shrugged. “I haven’t removed Dumbledore yet because he’s still in St. Mungo’s from when I stabbed him almost to death. That and he’s technically also a hybrid being like me- part human, part magic- which means I have to be very careful around him. He’s one of the single-digit number of people on this planet that are still capable of killing me.”

“Technically?”

She nodded. “Unlike me, he’s fully bound his magical and physical sides together, so he is actually reliant upon his body, until and unless it dies. But he’s still the single most powerful magical thing on this side of the worldwall.”

“Unlike you?”

“Yes, unlike me. I haven’t bound myself that way, so if need be, I can still abandon my physical form and become pure magic once more, though doing that will kill my body. If the worst comes to pass, that could be necessary, even if the looser connection I use deprives me of certain physical pleasures that he undoubtedly sought.”

Entry:

Author's Note

Patreon, Discord.

Sorry about cancelling the story. Will have a replacement soon. Ish. Pardon, bed is beckoning to me. Must be going.

P.S. The eventual reveal, scheduled for a few years later, was that Dumbledore is Earth's version of Discord, as an avatar of all Earthen magic... and evil. Helia was set to defeat him by spreading her protection & influence to more than half of all magic users on the planet (primarily through the distribution of Guardian Wands), seizing control of the magic that makes him up, and simply turning him off. In order to do that, though, she'd have to reassign herself as the new Magical Avatar...