Cuddle Count

The buzzer goes off, signaling the start of the first round.

Fluttershy sits down in front of me and introduces herself.

"Hello! My name is Fluttershy, and I love animals, and I run an animal sanctuary."

I go along with it. "Howdy. My name's Applejack and I love apples and my family."

Fluttershy starts to blush. "I don't know if animals count, but I've cuddled five ponies."

"I don't see why that matter. Who cares how many ponies you've cuddled?"

Fluttershy says, confused, "I don't know? The invite just said to count the number of ponies we've cuddled."

"Well, I don't think it matters, so let's move on."

"Okay."

"What sort of pony are you looking to date, Fluttershy?"

"Well, one that's very creative and inspiring. Somepony who can bring out the beauty I have a hard time expressing."

I think for a second before saying my answer.

"I'm looking for a pony who learns quick and can take charge of a situation when needed. Somepony who'd bring me down to earth just like I'd do for them."

Before the conversation could continue, the buzzer sounds, meaning we should switch partners.

Rarity sits down in front of me and immediately starts talking.

"Did Fluttershy ask about me?"

I answer, "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"Aren't we suppose to be on a date right now?"

"Oh, how rude of me, sorry. Hello, my name is Rarity, and I love fashion and I run several boutiques."

"Hi. You already know who I am and what I love."

"Well, I've cuddled fifteen ponies. How about you?"

"I still don't see why we need to bring that up."

"I did find it strange they said to bring it up, but I don't see the harm."

"You know, if I was cuddling with Twilight, whose business would that be but me and Twilight's?"

"Well, have you cuddled Twilight?"

"No. But it ain't none of your business."

"Is Twilight the pony you want to date?"

"Is Fluttershy the pony you want to date?"

"Maybe. What do you even want in a partner, Applejack?"

"Somepony's whose dependable, who's willing to help, and who likes to learn."

"Sounds like Twilight, darling."

"What're you looking for, then?"

"I want somepony who is caring and kind. Somepony compassionate, patient, good at listening…"

That could be any of us.

She continues, "… and beautiful."

"Fluttershy. Got it."

The buzzer sounds again, and Rarity looks over at Twilight before whispering to me, "Good luck."

Twilight sits down and smiles.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I love books and magic."

"Howdy, Twilight. I'm Applejack, I love farming, apples, and family."

Twilight starts to blush. "I've cuddled six ponies."

I sigh. "I haven't cuddled a single pony, Twilight."

Twilight asks in shock, "Why not?"

"I don't know. Just been waiting for the right pony, I guess."

"Well, what sort of pony are you looking to date?"

Twilight leans in, awaiting my answer.

Somepony who's smart, and pretty, and good at leading, somepony who likes reading and studying.

Somepony like Twilight!

I stammer out, "Uh, somepony who… who is smart. And pretty."

Twilight is silent for a bit before she says, "Well, I'm also looking for somepony who's pretty. And smart."

Who could that be? I'm not pretty or smart like Twilight is…

The buzzer goes off and Twilight moves onto the next table.

Pinkie sits down in front of me. "Hi, Applejack!"

"Hi, Pinkie. How've your dates been going?"

"They've been alright, I just don't know who I'm supposed to like."

"Well, what are you looking for?"

"I want somepony who likes fun as much as I do! And I want them to be able to fly as fast as I think. I want somepony who will always be there for me."

"You don't know who that is yet?"

"Nope. What about you?"

I blush a little. "I want somepony who's smart, and pretty, and good at leading, somepony who likes reading and studying."

"That reminds me of Twilight."

"Twilight said she wanted somepony pretty and smart, but that's not me…"

"Are you sure? What Twilight told me sure sounded a lot like you. And you are too smart and pretty!"

"Well, thanks, but my speed-date with Twilight didn't go so well."

"Oh, I almost forgot, how many ponies have you cuddled?"

"None. You?"

Pinkie looks shocked before a blush takes over her face. "Just a few… million."

"Did you say million?"

"Yep! I've cuddled everypony in Equestria — except you!"

Before I have time to process her answer, the round ends.

Rainbow sits down and says, "Sup."

"Not much. How's your dates going?"

"Could have gone better. How bout yours?"

"Same."

"So, how many ponies you cuddled?"

"None, you?"

"Wow, waiting for Twilight, I see."

"I didn't say nothin' about Twilight."

"Come on, Applejack, It's obvious! I saw how you two acted on your date."

"Well… So what? You didn't answer the question."

"Four. Happy now?"

"You waiting on somepony too?"

"Maybe…"

"Well, what are you looking for?"

"Somepony who can keep up with me, who likes fun as much as I do. Somepony who's as good at pranking as me."

"Pinkie. You like Pinkie."

Rainbow blushes. "I never said that."

"It's okay, I think you got a shot."

"Really? — I mean, what do you like in Twilight, anyway?"

"She's really smart, a great leader, an amazing problem solver, and darn pretty to boot."

"So, are you going to ask her out?"

"I don't know if she likes me."

"I think you got a shot."

The buzzer cuts off our conversation.

I blink as Fluttershy sits down in front of me again.

Wait a second.

Looking around, I see us six are the only ponies present.

I stand up and speak.

"Girls, why are we the only ones here?"

Nopony answers, so I continue. "Fluttershy and Rarity, just kiss already."

I point at Rainbow. "Rainbow and Pinkie, just kiss already."

I look at Twilight. "Twilight, will you go out with me?"