Even if it breaks my heart...

by Brony-Sibling

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Sad, Romance, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 1099

Ditzy would rather break her heart before hurting the Doctor. That's why she can never tell him...

Ditzy Doo understands the doctor, his pain, his heroism, and what makes him "The Doctor" and even though she loves him, she can never tell him so...

Because eventually she would end up hurting the Doctor, and she would rather break her heart before hurting him.

Published 2012-10-12 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-12 22:10:01 UTC

Forever is a long time Dr...

Forever is a Long Time Doctor.

By Brony-Sibling

“I’ll be there for him. Even if only for a little while.” –Ditzy Doo

Time is standing still. Well, for me at least. Hehe!

You see, I’m the Doctor’s assistant! My name is Ditzy “Derpy” Doo! But… well… right now I’m caught in some sort of time-warp device. I was traveling with the Doctor, and we ran into some planet which the TARDIS brought us to, and guess what happened? Now I need to be saved by the Doctor....

Again.

Not that I mind! It’s just kind of... embarrassing. I mean, he saves me all the time! So... right now everything around me has kinda been slowed to a crawl. I mean, I actually saw the Doctor blink in slow motion in front of me! I just got to watch him blink slowly for several seconds! It’s kinda funny. I got to stare into the Doctor’s beautiful eyes for as long as I wanted. (eeee!) It was heaven! But the Doctor is gone now, and he is probably hard at work saving me even now!

Well. I can’t move all that much, and nothing I do seems to actually do anything useful. So… I’m waiting like I used to as a filly! I’m waiting for the Doctor to return!

So, you see... while I’ve been waiting I’ve had time to think. A lot of time. I’ve thought about my life before the doctor, and my (eeee! I just love saying it!) life traveling with the doctor! It’s been such… such an incredible time with him! I’ve been to countless planets, seen wondrous things... Even a muffin planet! But the best thing? Is just being around the Doctor! I just want every moment to just slow down, to just allow me to enjoy them even more!

It’s kinda funny actually… I’m traveling with a time-lord who can control and manipulate time itself, and the one thing I want… is well... more time. Well, not more time exactly. I guess….. I mean… right now time has slowed down for me. I can enjoy it all I want!

But… I’ve realized. I don’t want more time. I want… time with HIM. I… I…

I mean he is so amazing! He just... saves you. He saves everyone… and he never. EVER puts himself over others. And- and… when he saves you.. you just know.

That he cares.

I think- No. I know that’s… that’s why I love being his assistant! He cares… he cares so much. He tries… so very hard. He... he’s...

He is so old. So filled with hurt and pain… and he still LOVES everypony so much! Even those who’ve tried to hurt him. He loves and saves them all. He will always be there for everypony, and when you need him....

When you really need him. you can know he is there. Even if you can’t see him.

You’ll know the Doctor is in.

I guess… I guess that’s why I…
(Sigh)

That’s why I love him.

I think I’ve loved him since I first met him. I... I-I saw what he was like without anypony.

He was sad, lonely, confused, and completely lost… I just had to help him. I couldn’t just leave him be. But now. Now that I know. Now that I know how wonderful, how sad, how… amazing he is. I can’t leave him. I mean.. He loves so much… and tries so hard… I want to help him. To be more than “Assistant” to be more than, “Ditzy”. I want… I want to be his “Doctor”. I want to make him feel safe. I want to make him all better! Even on the inside. But… I don’t think I can fix him. Not fully anyways. But... I can always be there to cook him a muffin, and give him a hug when he needs it! I’ll be the very best best assistant the doctor could ever have!

I just wish I could tell him. I… I… I think about telling him this all the time! Faust knows I’ve tried to tell him… I just… just… never quite get it out. But… he isn’t really a pony… not originally anyways… and…

and...

I can’t be there for him forever, as much as I’d love to be... I know. I know that he can’t be with me…. Well, at least for very long. He is already just… so old. So very old. He doesn’t look it, but occasionally… when he doesn’t think you are looking… you can see it. So many years. So much pain. He’s hiding it all.

Thats... that’s the reason why I haven’t told him. That’s why I can’t let him know. And even if he felt the same, even if we were together… it wouldn't be for long…. Well... for him anyways.

I would die. I’m not a timelord… I’m just a pony. And… and.. I’d leave him alone again. Maybe even more lost than when I found him. I mean if you lose somepony you love… somepony you truly love...

Can you ever truly forget them?

I couldn’t do that to him. Leave him… all alone. Again. That’s… That’s why I can’t do it. Why I can’t tell him I care, that…

I love him.

And... I can’t- I can’t just take him all for myself! That would be selfish. There are so many ponies out there! So many ponies that need saving! I can’t just keep the doctor for myself! So. I want to be there for him. I want to… to be the one who tells him that it’s going to be ok. That he saved so many, and even if he couldn't save them all… that he is the Doctor. That he is brilliant, and amazing, and… wonderful. and... that he did all he could.

I can’t be there with him in the way I want... But even… even just being around him. Being there for him... That’s enough for me. Even if he never loves me back… just seeing his smile, hearing him tell ponies “I will save you”. Being the “assistant”. That pony in the background… that’s good enough for me. That’s enough for me. Because I love him. and...

I… I’d rather break my heart than hurt his.

(Author's Note: I was inspired by "Ask Doctor Obsessed Derpy" to write this! I have used a lot of the feeling for these comics, and some of the lines were adapted from this Tumblr! You can find it here! http://lovestruck-derpy.tumblr.com/ Thanks everypony!)