I Think She's Hot

by didntknowwhat2put4name

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 1410

A human's honest opinion of Queen Chrysalis

After the changeling queen reveals herself at the wedding, the Mane 6's human friend gives his honest opinion and things happen because of it.

Made a follow up in Compilation story.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/572802/compilation-of-stories-within-my-universes

Published 2024-07-17 22:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-17 22:10:00 UTC

She's Evil But Hot

I officially had no idea what was going on. One moment Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were getting married, the next Twilight comes in with a copy of the pink alicorn. Except this one’s all messed up, like somepony beat her up and forced her to live on the streets. Then Applejack said what I and probably everypony else was thinking.

“Ah don’t understand, how can there be two of ‘em?”

“She’s a changeling! She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them!” the real Cadance said.

Fake Cadance was pissed, she unleashed a huge burst of green magic and revealed her true form. When I saw what she really looked like, I could only say one thing.

“Damn, she looks hotter like this,” I said.

Everypony and the changeling queen looked at me incredulously. The ponies looked at me as if I’d gone insane, as for the queen I could’ve sworn she had a tiny blush.

“What? I can’t be the only one who thinks that she looks attractive?” I asked.

“You just….the evil changeling queen….imprisoned and impersonated Cadance….and put a spell on my brother….WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!” Twilight responded.

Before I could respond, the impostor bug pony spoke up.

“SILENCE!!!!” she yelled.

TIMESKIP TO AFTER EVENTS OF CHANGELING INVASION

Well that was a fun wedding, my favorite part about it was still the bachelor party. Though I was still getting some flak from what I said about the changeling queen.

“How can you find her attractive? She’s evil!” Twilight asked.

“Just because her personality and behavior is terrible doesn’t mean the rest of her is,” I responded.

Twilight looked like she was about to say something, but must’ve decided against it and walked away. I just hung back and enjoyed the food, and made sure to avoid the lucky couple since last I saw them they were giving me nasty looks for hitting on the queen. While helping myself to the refreshments I noticed Spike nearby, I decided to have a talk with him.

“Hey Spike, buddy you know how you have a crush on Rarity?” I asked.

“Hey! Shhhhh! Secret crush, remember?” Spike whisper yelled.

“Yeah, I know, but don’t worry. Everyone else is doing their own thing and not even paying attention. Anyways, I got a question related to that. I’m asking you cause it’s a guy thing, and you’re one of the few guy friends I have,” I said.

That actually made him smile.

“What is it?” he asked.

“If Rarity turned evil, would you still have a crush on her?” I asked, “I won’t tell anyone what you say.”

Spike spat out his drink and he started mumbling incoherently before giving a response.

“I-uh-I mean what kind of evil? Like only a little? Or….” he trailed off.

Aaaaaand I had my answer, even if he didn’t actually give me a yes or no, I had my answer.

“Thanks buddy, glad you get me,” I said.

“Ooooh, ok.” he responded, “I get it.”

TIMESKIP LATER TO PONYVILLE

I was in the library reading one of Spike’s comics, when I heard a knock at the door.

“Twilight! Somepony’s at the door!” I yelled.

“UGH! This may be my house, but it’s still a public library,” she said as she went to open the door.

The pony on the other side was a unicorn. She had a tealish-blue coat, with a dark green mane, bright green eyes, and a gem Cutie Mark.

“Hello there Miss Sparkle, I heard I could find the alien creature here?” she asked.

“Miss, I’m right here. Also my species is known as human, and my name is Carl,” I said.

“I see, my name is Crystal Shine,” she said.

“Alright Ms. Shine, what questions you got?” I asked.

“Could you perhaps explain yourself in general? I’ve never seen a human before,” Crystal asked.

“Gladly. I come from a different world entirely, with no magic whatsoever. There are also no unicorns, pegasi, alicorns, griffons, minotaurs, etc, etc. The closest I could say my world has is earth ponies with no magic or intelligence, they’re pretty much animals. Also monsters from the Everfree like mantacores and cockatrices also don’t exist. Literally everything I’ve mentioned only exists in fiction. As for how I got here despite magic not existing, I’m not entirely sure. Twilight theorized that there was some sort of temporary rift or tear in space and time that I fell into and it sent me here. But don’t take that for fact, that’s just a theory,” I explained to the mare.

“Interesting….continue,” Crystal said.

“Alright. Well when I arrived, it just so happened to be in Canterlot Castle. Right in front of Celestia and Luna. Long story short, they agreed to help me because reasons, and I live here in Ponyville now. As for information on myself, I’m an omnivore, because of that Celestia gets meat imported from the Griffons for me. To earn bits I’m basically just a helper for hire, I help ponies around with whatever they need done. One thing that Twilight discovered is that magic behaves unpredictably towards me. For example, a levitation spell could either have little to no effect, or launch me sky high into the air. It’s just weird,” I finished.

“Interesting, interesting. Thank you for the information,” Crystal said.

“No problem,” I said.

Crystal gave me a smile, her eyes shined brightly.

“Say, you seem like a nice human. Perhaps we could meet up later?” she asked.

“Ok. I don’t have anything planned. Where do you want to meet up?” I asked.

“I’m not from Ponyville, what do you recommend?” Shine asked.

“The Hay Burger’s an ok place, I mean if you’re ok with that,” I said.

“That’s fine, I’ll see you at 6,” she said before leaving.

“Nice one Carl, you got a date!” Spike said.

We gave each other a fist bump.

“Would you like to borrow a book on dating to make sure you two have a perfect evening?” Twilight asked.

“No, I think I’d like to handle things on my own,” I said, “Though please don’t tell the others. Knowing them, specifically Rarity, things will spiral out of control into a huge mess.”
Twilight nodded in understanding, Spike looked like he was going to say something(obviously because Rarity)but I beat him to it.

“You better not say anything either Spike, or I’ll run my mouth when you get a date,” I threatened.

That shut him up fast, when 5 rolled around I started getting ready. I mostly dressed casual since I didn’t like wearing suits, I could just say that this is how humans do things during dates. I approached the restaurant, bits in hand, ready for a nice night out. I saw Crystal in one of the booths and sat across from her.

“Hello, glad you could make it,” she greeted.

“Of course! I wouldn’t just ditch you after inviting me on a date. Also I brought enough bits for the both of us,” I said.

She smiled.

“My, my, such a gentlecolt, or what would the term be for humans?” Crystal asked.

“Gentleman, but you can use pony terms since it's easier. I don’t mind, I’ll still understand what you’re saying,” I said.

“You’re too kind,” she responded.

“Thanks. So what would you like to order?” I asked.

“Not much, just one hayburger and a small drink,” she said.

“Alright I’ll-”

“I’ll pay,” Crystal cut me off, “I have a position where I earn a lot of bits, so tonight everything’s on me.”

“Thanks, I’ll take a burger, no patty and a milkshake,” I said.

We ordered and I tried flirting.

“You know, you’re beautiful. Like royalty levels of beauty,” I said hoping it didn’t sound like I was trying too hard.

“Aw, how sweet,” she replied.

And after a little back and forth we got our food and then talked about our personal interests, soon I started to feel a little dizzy and tired and decided to head home.

“Alright, that was nice, but I’m ready to go home. See you some other time?” I asked.

“Yes, absolutely,” she said with a smile.

“Nice, can’t wait,” I said before leaving.

Author's Note

I rewatched the episode, and unless I missed it. Nopony or changeling says the name Chrysalis, so that's why she remains nameless here. Also anyone here agree with Carl?