Xenobiologist(s)

“GOT THE LAST ONE!” calls out 99200, grabbing the fifth and, according to what Miss Gloom told it about the creature, final Hey-ing Waver’s eye. This purple crystal was diabolically hidden, stuck in an uneven ridge on the ceiling with barely its tip peeking out. How and, most importantly, when the Hey-ing Waver could have set it up there is beyond the explorer, but it can’t ask Gloom due to having left her asleep in the greenhouse hours earlier, and a quick check-up with 57999 reveals that she’s still out cold. Despite the drones’ near-perfect night vision, the search for such deviously hidden, small objects took everyone gathered in the High Score Cavern the entire breaky time, but now it’s time to figure out what to do with the crystals and the decision rests on the shoulders of the acting drone leader.

“Do we just break them?” asks 99856 as one of the most senior drones.

“They look pretty,” comments someone else, “Like normal shinies, but more angular, and it looks as if there are lights inside.”

“Hmmm,” 99200 examines all five presented to it, “I wouldn’t mind just giving them away. The problem is that Miss Gloom said the Hey-ing Waver can watch us through them at any time.”

“Eep!” a drone backpedals through the crowd of drones surrounding the explorer.

The response team is the closest thing which the drones have to a security detail, so 99200 contacts 99158 in the Guide’s Cavern through the hive mind.

“We found the eyes. Any ideas on what to do with them?”

“Besides just breaking them?” asks 99158, “I dunno, the usual? Did anyone try to eat them already? What did the smart guys say, can they use it for anything? I’d definitely keep at least one hidden away where it can’t see anything for when 99111 and 10k return from the Crystal Empire. Maybe we could keep the eyes in an empty, enclosed hole and have a special place where the guys can use them up for experiments.”

“Good idea, thanks! How are things down there?”

“99766 woke up and told us all the details it could remember. It doesn’t look like we were followed, but we can’t be sure, whatever attacked it was completely invisible until up close. The best I can say is that it’s not inside here with us, no drones who came afterwards noticed anything, and no one who is supposed to be here is missing.”

“So… it’s all good?” asks 99200, hoping against hope.

“For now. Is Miss Gloom around? I’d like to ask her something.”

“No, she got extra sleepy after 57999’s healing goop. Why?”

“She was asking about an invisible gribbler in Scufflestick earlier. It makes me wonder if she met the thing too.”

“Oh goop!” 99200’s ears perk up, “She asked me too! We definitely have to talk about it when she returns here. Speaking of, are you coming back tonight?”

“No. The thing asked about the Smart Box. If it followed us here, I don’t want to lead it to the HSC. 99112 and I will return when worky time starts and everyone scatters in all directions. We didn’t use up any of our weapons, so we don’t need to go and restock.”

“Gotcha! Have a safe night, 99158.”

“You too, 99200.”

Mentally back in the HSC, the explorer jingles the crystals in its hoof, still unsure what to do with them. 99158 was right, though - there are smarter drones for this job.

“Hey, 99856, take one and try some stuff with it, okay? Just keep it in… I dunno, the black-crunchy storage when you’re not using it? You know what? Take two more and keep them in the storage for 10k and 99111.”

“Huh, yeah, not a bad idea,” the chemist nods and takes three crystals.

“99450, can you try some magic scribbles with it?” 99200 calls out the next drone who pushes through the curious crowd.

“Umm, sure? I can still do just the heating one, but I can do it right here,” 99450’s hoof unfolds, and it quickly inscribes a small symbol into the side of the crystal.

“Wait, not h-” 99200’s eyes go wide.

“Uh oh,” 99450 says the worst thing anyone experimenting with anything dangerous can say as the crystal shakes, starts rapidly heating up, and a small arc of lightning zaps its chitin, “DUUUUUCK!”

It throws the crystal over the heads of the crowd as far as it can while most drones dive to the ground.

Most drones.

“Quack?” says someone new who rolled the dice on hive mind knowledge about what might be happening and came up short. A sharp sound of shattering glass louder than it has any right to be pierces the air, and the surprised drone who didn’t get down immediately finds purple shards embedded deep in the chitin of its barrel and face, all thankfully missing its eyes and any soft tissue. It looks down, confused, “Umm, ow?”

“Ooookay…” 99200 breathes a sigh of relief as everyone starts getting back up, “99450, I’ll give you the last one, but try it IN YOUR WORKSHOP!”

“Yeeeeah,” 99450 says slowly, grabbing the crystal with a shaky hoof, “In retry-specks, that’s a way safer idea.”

Seeing that the Hey-ing Waver’s eyes are mostly in good hooves, the drones gradually disperse and get ready to go to sleep. Things eventually go silent and the High Score Cavern is left dark, lit only by the faint green shimmer of the pet slimes slowly wobbling on the floor, clearing out dead chitin, dirt, and trails of coal.

With one exception.

A uniquely built slim and tall drone is silently sitting in front of the legs remaining of High Score’s destroyed statue, looking at the two sapphires arranged above the writing on the raised base. Its ears twitch when it hears thudding hoofsteps approaching the entrance, but the mental signature accompanying them signals that everything is okay. Moments later, the HSC door slides to the side, letting in another drone, a normal one this time, who approaches the statue and its silent companion.

“What brings you here, 99818?” a voice rings in the arriving drone’s head, “I thought you’d be sleeping in the evil lair tonight.”

“With how the guys lowered the hot-glowy levels recently, a new area got uncovered and I have some new changes to think through. Always remember 65536’s rule - think twice, dig once,” the villain drone whispers back, careful not to disrupt the sleep of anyone nearby, “Plus, I wanted to see if High Score’s statue was really gone. What about you? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I think I’m responsible for this,” the mental message is followed by one long, hoof-less foreleg pointing at the sapphires, “I saw the Hey-ing Waver first and it looked as if it was just looking around. Then I made noise, it turned around, screeched, and then… everything’s fuzzy after that. I think something hit me and threw me against the wall. When I looked up, the statue was ruined. I think I spooked the creature just like I spooked the Queen when she saw me for the first time. If I didn’t look so unusual, the statue might-”

“No. Bad thoughts, 99998!” 99818 softly smacks the other drone’s nose and, despite its tone getting heated, it keeps its voice down, “We’ve been over this! You’re not allowed to think this, not in front of the statue of a drone who, without a doubt, accepted drones of any shape, weirdness, and levels of squishiness as long as they worked hard and did their best for dronekind as a whole! Be glad that 10k isn’t here, because if it heard you talk like that about yourself, it would sigh at you and give you ‘the look’!”

Both 99818 and 99998 shudder.

“And the Queen was wrong about you too and is being needlessly mean!” 99818’s ears splay back and it looks around, withdrawing its head between its shoulder blades, “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Even if I did, I don’t think she’d hear me because she always starts yelling at me to go away,” 99998 shrugs.

The mood again until 99818 asks:

“Do you want to help me tomorrow with the evil lair? There’s a whole bunch of black-shiny left behind after the lava flow.”

99998 shakes its head.

“I’m going trotting with 99066’s guys. They like racing with me even if they can’t compete with my springy legs.”

“But they still want you around, right?”

“Yup.”

“Then don’t overthink it! 9999 knew when to think hard and when very specifically not to. Be like 9999!”

“What happened to ‘think twice, dig once’?”

“9999 was the High Score, so its rule comes first. It’s easy - know when to think and when not to, and when you have to think, think twice!” 99818 smiles, satisfied with its summary.

99998 smiles back and briefly tenses up when 99818 hugs it without hesitation before returning the embrace.

“I gotta head back down,” adds the villain when it untangles itself from 99998’s legs, stands up, and smiles at the ‘High Score’ written on the destroyed statue’s base, “The statue is just a reminder. What it represents must be here,” it taps its chest with one foreleg and when 99998 does the same, it adds, “See you again soon, buddy!”

“I’ll come down to help you as soon as I can.”

“Excellent, my minion!”

***

The Crystal Heart stops its slow spin around the axis indicated by the crystalline stalactite and stalagmite it’s hovering between when 99380 walks over and flies up to sniff it. Unsurprisingly, the light blue crystal almost half as big as the drone itself doesn’t smell like anything, but the sheer aura of love it’s sending out in pulses is undeniable.

“We could really use something like this back home,” 10k rises on its hind legs and pokes the crystal.

“Do not try to take it with you,” Three warns it, vigorously shaking its head, “I tried to borrow it and the ponies got super angry. Once everyone stopped yelling and I said sorry a lot, they explained that it protects the Crystal Empire from freezing over and also the whole Equestria from some windy things,” Three nervously scratches his head, “I can’t recall, I was feeling awful at the time and wibbled a lot.”

“Hmmmmmm, this is making me wonder…” as 10k withdraws, it gets an absolutely groundbreaking idea, and for once it’s not related to digging. 99380 and Three patiently watch as 10k hucks out a clump of goop and with a few digging strokes it shapes it into an angular shape like the love crystals in the hive are.

“Wooow, you can make love crystals?” asks Three, clearly amazed.

“Hm?” 10k takes a break from assessing the crystal’s reaction to the Crystal Heart, “Yup, 156 taught me and a couple others responsible for research. Honestly, it’s not difficult, so I’m not sure why it isn’t common hive mind knowledge. Aaanyway…” it raises the crystal towards the Crystal Heart and tries to sense the love inside it, which proves near-impossible with the amount of love everywhere around. Dissatisfied with the result, 10k presses its tiny horn against the crystal and personally charges it until it starts shimmering, “Alright, so it doesn’t absorb much love on its own, but we can do it and create full crystals instead,” it scratches its head, “Why in all holes isn’t the Queen simply sending changelings here to make loads of crystals and then bring them home? With 20100 getting all the shinies we need, we could easily spend some of it on the train and get enough love to feed the entire hive.”

“Uhh,” Three suddenly shifts on his legs, “If you guys don’t mind, would you like to move onto the next thing I wanted to show you?”

For once, 10k is in a situation where it has enough experience - spotting an extremely nervous drone, and asks with narrowed eyes:

“Do you know something?”

“Well, I mean, boss and Miss One said some mean things about the Queen,” Three’s ears droop.

“Yeees?” 10k leans forward.

“Well, I mean, you like it in the hive now, right? 65536 said things were completely different from what boss or Miss One remembered.”

“Come on, Three. If you know something that can help us, say it.”

Three sighs.

“Miss One said that Queen Chrysalis would never teach the hive anything that would let the hive changelings survive without relying on her,” he parrots obediently.

99380 patiently watches 10k as the drone leader thinks about it. What it can’t know is that in addition to 10k’s own thoughts, it hears a new, deep voice inside its head coupled with a sudden chill around its chest where it stored the strange crystal that it found earlier.

“You need power to survive…”

10k furrows its brows at hearing the strange, hissing voice in its head, contemplating where it came from. Three interprets its lack of further questions as the situation having been settled, and returns to business with:

“So, guys, if we’re done here, can we move onto the castle? I just wanted to show you the Crystal Heart and tell you that if you’re ever hungry or hurt, you just need to come here even if the guards are around. As long as you don’t touch it, you’re allowed to sit around and rest.”

“I like the way it spins too!” adds 99380 in a chipper tone which reveals to 10k that it must have been the only drone to hear the speaker, “Whoosh… whoosh… whoosh…” the drone’s eyes and voice follows the lazy turning around of the Heart.

“Careful there!” Three pats 99380’s head, “It’s waaay too easy to get lost and keep staring. It happened to me once too - I was watching, then I blinked, and the next thing I recall is it being dark and a crystal guard poking me, asking if I was okay.”

“So much food, so much danger…” muses 99380, forcing itself to look away.

“This whole place is a trap. I always get stuck somewhere until it gets dark or until a pony pokes me,” Three nods knowingly, “Let’s go! I’ve got an idea that might save you a whole bunch of shinies,” he waves his hoof at the drones, beckoning them to follow him, “Smiley wanted you to stay at a hotel near the edge of the Empire, but if Mister Shiny and Miss Candy have a spare room at the castle, there’ll be no need to go all the way there.”

“Mister Shiny…” the name sounds familiar to 10k who ponders where it knows the name from as it follows Three leading them towards the biggest building made of crystals they’ve seen so far. Despite it being a later time of the day, they soon have to push through a crowd of non-crystal ponies until Three changes direction, leads them around the castle to a back entrance guarded by two burly Crystal Guards.

“Hi, Mister Sun Scatter! Hi, Mister Star Glitter!” Three beams at the two guards whose stern expressions thaw immediately, “Could you let us in, please? There are ponies everywhere at the Crystal Heart plaza and around the main entrance.”

“Yeah, sure,” one guard unlocks the side door and lets the trio inside a long, mostly empty corridor, “Just don’t get under the staff’s hooves for the next week or so. Everypony will be busy with the summit.”

“Okay,” Three nods, “Smiley and I are going to show the guys around the Empire, I just wanted to ask if there’s a free guest room first.”

“I doubt that,” the guard shakes his head, “Half of the summit members are already accommodated here, but you can always ask if there’s a free cupboard somewhere that even the nobles’ servants wouldn’t take. Speaking of Smiley, my wife has this homemade recipe for crystal berry pie and would love to have it printed in the Scribbles. Could you put a good word in for her?”

“Will do, both to the cupboard and the Scribbles article!” Three points down the corridor away from where they can hear the murmur of numerous distant voices blending together, “Come on, guys.”

“Mister Shiny, wouldn’t he be one of the horny ponies - white, blue mane, somewhat bulgy, teal eyes kinda like us?” 10k hazards a guess. Shiny could mean anything in this place, but having met a pony explicitly called ‘Shiny’ who accompanied a pink all-in-one pony who could easily refill drones with love whenever, the clues start falling in their place.

“Yep, do you know him?”

“We met a long time ago,” says 10k, “I wonder if he remembers us.”