“Well Chrysalis, Let me tell you the un-doctored and totally unembellished story of how I met my lovely lady friend. I was minding my own business fishing off the coast of Alaska when I beheld fireworks where they shouldn't've been.”

“Captain what in the hell is going on over there,” first mate Rodger yelled up the deck to the helm. The short length of the trawler and relatively calm waters made such a thing possible.

The PA system crackled and popped a short measured reply, “I don’t know but whatever it is, it sure is pretty.”

I watched a light show like I had never seen before, flowing dragons with crisp edges and plumes of flame hundreds of feet long. The ship was headed that bearing, the continuous, ‘bang, fizz’ of crackling light getting louder the closer we drifted.

My radio clicked and Captain Roko rattled, “Carl, can you check the bow of the ship? The sonar is giving me weird depth readings. Don’t want to run aground do we?”

I sarcastically replied while I made my way to the bow, “Butttt it would be so much funnn.”

I pulled the binoculars from my coat. Rubbing the frost from the lenses I couldn’t believe my eyes. We were about one-hundred yards off shore of an unknown coast. Before I could report the news, I was blinded by an ungodly bright light just offshore. A flare on steroids in the shape of a stylized sun revealed to all, a dockyard full of ships straight out of the eighteen-hundreds. It was lined with brightly colored quadrupeds, half of them enamored with the light show further into the city. The other half was staring right at us. Behind them a skyline like Boston, its edges bathed in shadows from the artificial sun. Snow drooped off the buildings, the January cold trying to freeze the air itself.

I stuttered into the radio, “Well I…I…am I seeing things or is that a lot of colorful creatures in a city that should not exist?”

The radio chattered and popped as everyone aboard tried to respond at the same time. Luckily, we did not have to wait long to find out if it was a joint hallucination.

An authoritative voice yelled from shore, “Ironclad, Identify yourself or you will be fired upon under the authority of the Manehattan Guard.”

The PA returned its request, “This ship is the USS Argyle, ship identification number 5231412. A fishing trawler, we are only armed against pirates and intend no harm. We seem to be very lost. Where are we?”

The reply was swift, “You are off the coast of Manehatten, located on the north-east coast of Equestria.”

I muttered into the radio, “I think we just made first contact with aliens.”

The radio was silent for a few minutes as we all took in the reality of the situation. Roko broke the radio silence, “I’ll contact the coastguard until they respond we will stay here.”

I quietly made my way to the auxiliary boats. Climbing aboard one of them, I lowered it to the water. Full of bad ideas, I turned on my radio, “I’m going ashore, you can warn them, or let me get killed. It’s up to you but I’m not going to let the government screw this up.”

I expected some kind of pushback, but Roko simply said, “One of our crewmen has decided to come ashore as a temporary liaison. He is in no way affiliated with our government but,” Roko emphasized, “He will tell it to you straight with no reservations about the good, the bad, and everything in between. Be good to the kid, he will tell you the truth as he knows it. ”

A far more feminine and regal voice replied, “He will be treated fairly, but with due caution.”

“That is all that I can ask, his name is Carl.”

The two-stroke motor roared to life, the trip to shore short, but tense. As I made it closer the look of these creatures became significantly more clear, very equine in nature. There seemed to be two subspecies one with horns and one with wings. I was being visually directed to the docks by an armored equine. He pointed me to a well-lit pier with an area being sectioned off. As I coasted into the dock, I had a realization. Why are they speaking English?

I was greeted by a few more of the armored equines at the pier, a larger one with wings and a horn was looking at me very intently. Her dark coat and piercing eyes made for a very imposing figure, if not for being very fluffy.

I killed the engine and stopped. We just watched each other for a moment.

We spoke over each other, “How do you know English/Equish?”

Once again awkward silence prevailed.

A guard presumably ran down the pier addressing the winged unicorn, “Princess! We just received word that Discord’s statue is bleeding!”

The princess did not break her gaze from me while snapping at the guard, “My sister will handle that, I have more important matters to attend to currently!"

"Now, You.” She pointed at me emphatically, “What are you? You are nothing like any creature I have ever seen.”

“Do I have to go over all the basic terminology exchanged, or can we skip to the more important bits,” I asked the table.

Chrysalis laughed, “No, no we don’t have to retread the first contact document. I would like to ask though, Luna, what was your perspective on all this?

Luna seemed surprised by the sudden question, “Well I was interrupted from my celebration, by a warning flare at the docks.”

“Princess! There is an emergency at the docks, an Ironclad like nothing we have ever seen is approaching!”

“I’m sure your guard can handle it, Cobalt, it’s probably nothing to worry about.”

“Princess, The creatures aboard are alien-looking. I would not intrude during the celebration of the first new moon of the year if It was not important.”

I stood from my bench overlooking the field hosting the fireworks display, “Well, let's get this done with then, I’m sure it’s nothing.” Captain Cobalt quickly led me to the docks, a large group of ponies parting in front of us. The pier was being cordoned off as we worked our way there.

A loud male voice rattled the docks, “One of our crewmen has decided to come ashore as a temporary liaison. He is in no way affiliated with our government but.” The voice emphasized, “He will tell it to you straight with no reservations about the good, the bad, and everything in between. Be good to the kid, he will tell you the truth as he knows it. ”

I cut in, “I think we can just cut to your first impressions of humanity.”

Luna jokingly pouted at me, “Fine, we can skip to that part. It was very weird I knew you were not of this world when I finally saw you up close. It was like looking at a cut-up photograph if you placed all the pieces back together wrong.”

I gasped with mocked offense, “I’m a very pretty cut-up photograph, I tell you what.”

Luna held a feather to my lips, “I still wonder about the languages being the same, it would be easier to ignore your sass if it was in a different language,” She pulled her wing away, “You can continue the story, since you seem so excited to.”

I scoffed, “You're not going to tell them about your gaff helping me up on the pier from your perspective, for shame.”

“Fine, fine I’ll tell them, if only to keep you from making it more embarrassing than It already is.”

The human looked enamored, the fictional creatures of his legends appearing seemed to hold his attention like nothing else.

He spoke carefully trying to avoid any faux-pas, “Alright, I understand horse is a slur, I'll try and remember that.”

I cringed as He said it again, “Yes, now, let's get somewhere warmer. This is no place to have long discussions.”

He started to climb up after tying off his boat. He looked to be struggling so I grabbed his bottom cloth covering and pulled him up. He squealed like a gerbil as I pulled, now on the pier he laid on the planks squirming.

He managed to squeak out, “You crushed my balls.”

Chrysalis giggled, “That was not in the first contact info sheet. The first physical interaction with alien life and you manage to harm its genitalia, that is some talent.”

Author's Note

My current editor is losing time to edit my work, so I am looking for someone to proofread/edit my work. I am a broke disabled dude so I can't promise any compensation other than early viewing. If you are interested in such a thing, DM me and we can discuss it.