You stand in front of the mirror, barely recognizing the teary, green-coated mare staring back. The silence of your house is stifling, every creak and rustle magnified. Each tear that falls is a drop of your heart breaking, over and over, as the image of Anon and Roseluck flashes in your mind. His smile, her laugh—it’s unbearable. It makes you want to grit your teeth, punch your mirror, and worse.
DUN DUN DUN!
A knock on the door jolts you from your thoughts.
DUN DUN!
Soon after, another knock follows, this time accompanied by the muffled voice of the very one you spent all night thinking about.
"Are you home? It's Anon!"
Your heart skips, a mixture of hope and dread swirling inside. Slowly, you open the door. Anon's concerned face meets yours, eyes searching, trying to understand. The sight of him makes tears threaten again, but you fight them back.
For a moment, there's silence, as if you two are already speaking through expression alone. Or perhaps he's taking in the mare who looks worse for wear than he imagined.
"Anon," you whisper, your voice barely holding steady. "I... I didn't expect you."
He takes a deep breath, seemingly done assessing you.
"Can I come in?" he asks, his tone gentle, like he’s afraid you might break.
You step aside, and he walks in, his presence filling the room and pushing the shadows away. You lead him to the living room, your steps heavy with unsaid words. Curling up on the couch, you hug a pillow to your chest, the same one that's been heavily tear-drenched.
"What happened today? Why did you run off?" he asks, sitting beside you.
Your grip on the pillow tightens. "I... I-I saw you," you say, voice trembling. "I saw you... with Roseluck."
Anon's confusion is evident. "Rose? What about her?"
The memory stings. It feels like a dream, or a nightmare, but you remember it clearly. Anon and Roseluck chatting and laughing outside the hotel, looking so perfect together. Roseluck's smile, so beautiful it made your heart ache with jealousy.
"I..."
This was the moment. Not like it mattered, anyway.
"I was going to... I was going to do it. I was going to actually do it. But then I saw you with her, and, and...."
He moves closer, hesitantly placing a hand on your back.
"And what, ask me out?" he raised his tone a little. "Is that why you ran? I haven't even confessed to her yet."
"Wait, so you do like her?"
"I—"
"AAAH!"
Not even giving him a chance to respond, you scream and bury your face in the pillow, the material dampening with your tears.
Your body trembles, each sob wracking through you as you clutch it tightly.
His arms then envelop you, solid and warm, anchoring you to the present moment. The ticking of the clock fades away, leaving only the sound of his steady breathing.
When your sobs finally subside, you lift yourself from the pillow.
"W-why?" you stammer.
"I'm not sure, I just like her I guess," he whispers. "I don't even know what's going to happen..."
"But what if you do end up with her? I-I don’t want to be just friends!" you say, your voice trembling again."
His expression softens, and he takes your hoof in his hand, squeezing gently.
"Why Roseluck?" you ask, tears brimming once more. "Why her!?"
"It’s... complicated," he says, sighing. "Feelings are complicated. But just because I was talking to her doesn’t mean you aren’t important to me."
"But I don’t want to be just another friend to you," you say, your voice breaking.
He strokes your mane, his touch soothing. "What's wrong with that?" he says, his tone sad and wistful. "I need that, more than anything right now."
"But what am I supposed to do? Just stand by and watch you two marry!?" you shout, your voice breaking under the strain of your emotions.
The words stun both of you, echoing in the room.
He digests the silence for a bit, his eyes searching yours.
"You can continue to be my friend."
His words are comforting, but they don't ease the pain. It's still too raw, too fresh. But you trust him, and you have to believe him.
"What about my feelings? Am I supposed to just throw them away? Or just bottle them up like I've been doing for months?"
He pauses.
"Maybe," he finally says, squeezing your hoof. "Maybe, I don't know. But I have you as a friend, and that's what matters."
It's not exactly a promising answer, but it gives you hope. He may like Roseluck, but he's still not closing the door.
You feel your damp cheeks, wiping away some of the dried tears.
It's a start.
But that anger is still there, that jealousy.
That evil feeling.
As much as it hurts, you have to keep it bottled up until it fades.
It rises again. Another sob threatens to break free. And he notices it, moving closer to hold you until it passes.
In his arms, you forget, just for a moment. You forget everything except his solid form, his gentle caresses, and the soft murmurs of reassurance.
There's the reason you like him so much. You never really liked any pony like you do him. His ability to just perfectly hold you, it calms you.
To think, he really likes Roseluck. What does she have that you don't?
Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't have he just given you a chance? You've never been with anypony.
No, you push the thought away, focusing instead on his touch.
No matter what happens, you won't give him up. You'll find a way to get him back, maybe this isn't the end.
He already said it too, right? That door isn't closed. There's still hope.
Just not yet.
"Nonny..."
He grabs your attention again, your eyes watery.
You see his smile.
That's all that matters.
Being his friend.
Right?
