Straight Outta Aldernsey!
Author's Note
My name is Fireflower and this is my twelveth My Little Pony Fanfic, using normal canon characters that is rated T for Teen; therefore, it is no clopfic whatsoever but it is my eleventh flashfic on this website: matter of fact, it took me about less than a day total to make this because it was for a contest y'all know of so to speak.
Anyways, I just want to state for the record My Little Pony, or rather Friendship Is Magic along with its setting and characters belong to Lauren Faust and Hasbro: of course, you'd already know about it since you'd been reading my stories for a long time so to speak of; speaking of which, this story is influenced by some brainrot parody so I'd like to apologize.
Enjoy it while you can 'cause I had to tone it down for the sake of the word count: seeing that it's there now, it was inevitable to come up with something to fill up a void in my mind all the same; in addition, the name of this chapter's so self–explanatory, it barely needs an explanation whatsoever especially since it's been inspired by a South Park episode.
Straight Outta Aldernsey!
It was a bright and sunny day here in an otherwise sleepy town made up of straws, sticks, bricks, mortars, and even a pestle as is: considering the flora and fauna living in a perfect check and balance of peace with harmony, it’d have even be smelt and dealt too; however, the atmosphere was under pressure, pushing down on the landscape with its heavy weapons concentrated inside.
The source of it was coming from a rectangular building within the outskirts of town, stony to a fault but otherwise far from lonely: it was frequented by equines, great and small with variations, known and unknown, all present and accounted for with one another; of them, there were at least four mares sitting at a table, a pair of redheads as well as a pair of ultraviolets on opposite ends.
“You gals don’t understand, having neighbors from Aldernsey is the worst: all night long they keep me awake, either screaming at each other or having sex; it seems like all these ponies do…!” the first of the former, yellow with orange eyes and a pink bow adorning the owner’s mane, said with a shrill yet stable voice, dressed in a green blouse with denim shorts no less.
Another redhead mare, this time bronze with green eyes, chimed in, wearing a striped sweatshirt and green pants as she’d reached for a pair of fries in the middle of it all without any warning, “you know what you do when you want a family to move away? Every night, you go and take a crap on their doorstep…”
“You’re kidding… I would be caught death stranding if I’d ever done that; besides, that’s something a dog would do overall…” a lone white unicorn, also with green eyes, gagged about, her visage matching them as she wore a purple jacket over a pink blouse, “not that Winona or Ripley would attempt this so to speak, no offense…”
“No one is saying that but a bag of excrement would do: you don’t even need to light it so to speak; just let the sunlight and summertime do the work and it’ll get really steamy in no time…” the darker redhead had replied as she ate her share of the foodstuff in question, apathetic and lethargic all the same nevertheless.
The yellow mare was forced into letting out a yawn out into the open air as she’d turned her head away to do so, something the orange pegasus had taken note of instantaneously, “they talk way too loud, flip out for no reason, and every time they act like selfish cornballs, they just go, ‘oh, it’s an Aldernsey thing’.”
“Hey, you talkin’ ‘bout Aldernsey?!” a loud voice had suddenly interjected in their shared hearing range, catching all four of them off–guard: it’d belonged to a ginger stallion with greasy highlights out amongst his quartet, “me and my friends are from Aldernsey…”
“Oh crap, there’s more of them…?!” exclaimed the flighty ultraviolet at long last no less.
This was more than enough for the likes of him to retaliate in a heartbeat and with words no less, “’ey, come on, there’s ponies from Aldernsey all over; who here is from Aldernsey…?”
An excess of exuberance had emanated from a large amount of ponies in the background, up to and including pegasi and unicorns: this was more than enough for the redhead in green to flinch as her ears were assaulted by this sudden abundance of noisomeness; not only that, her bronze counterpart felt her emerald splash becoming toxic, ready to unleash its payload in due time as is.
Needless to say, even the orange pegasus was struggling to comfort the yellow mare amidst the noise, slipping out to catch the latter from falling over on the right almost immediately as the former cerebrated, “no one why Apple Bloom’s been having trouble at school: these ponies are even worse than Babs, Diamond, and Silver wert combined; they make Dash look like a joke…!”
“So I’m like standin’ there, and I’m like, ‘who’s from Aldernsey?’, and ponies are all like, ‘yo, woo–hoo!’” the same stallion from before conversed, standing against a watery background with his red shirt and black jeans, “next thing you know: Aldernsey party at Rizzler…”
At this point, the area the quartet were in had changed dramatically to the point there was no vampire in sight at all, if any: the once quiet atmosphere became bombarded with deep bass tones and harsh riffs with the riotous crowd as their chorus; speaking of which, many were either in various stages of undress and/or at least iotas away from a sparring match betwixt a twosome.
“Yeah, let’s get this party started…!” hollered one mare in particular, a brunette with orange eyes, stood out in a hot tub in nothing more than panties and stockings with garter belt as all the lights flashing brightly with colors split off from the rainbow, going far to chase away an octet of creatures: a yellow rat, a white cat, a yellow duck, two pink birds, a purple snake amongst others.
It didn’t take much for the foursome to be driven away by the cacophony the second a glass bottle had landed onto the fries: the crispy fried goodness which had been savored by the likes of the emerald eyed mare were compromised by its fragments; even worse, the liquid now soaking them all had given off a terrible smell, even for their former consumer so to speak of no less.
This was more than enough for the bronze redhead to push her neighbor out of the booth they’d shared recently and carry her away from the undisciplined environs which they’d once claimed as their absolute territory as she squawked, “where the Tart are all these ponies coming from…?!”
This was but a common sentiment shared with the rest of their two compeers as they were now quickly out of the majority’s sight and mind, not that they’d even cared at all whatsoever.
