Discords chosen

by ForgeMasterAbelle

Rating: teen
Tags: Kamen Rider, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Human, Narcotics, Devil May Cry, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1676

Discord gets bord

Being so bored and alone in his stony prison, Discord drops a human stoner, 9/5 working nerd off in the middle of Equestria with some of his power....what could go wrong?

Published 2024-07-27 06:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-27 06:10:00 UTC

🎶now I'm freeee....free falling!🎶

I shiver a bit from the cold draft that had been blowing through my busted up little apartment. Some kids threw some rocks through my window the other night cuz they thought it was abandoned.
I was undeniably pissed as I was pelting the little shits with some old eggs from the back of my fridge, but I found it kinda funny. This place hasn't looked like an actual home in years from the way it was kept up by my Mammon imp of a landlord, greedy mf.
The draft picked up, chilling me to my core, I wrap my blanket around me tighter, as I go to place my hand under my pillow....only to feel the side of my head.
I grumble as I feel around for the side of my bed thinking that it must have fell of, a-fuckin-gain cuz of my small ass twin mattress.
I reach out...only to feel nothing? I stretch my arm out a bit, only to still feel nothing.
*Where ma bed go?* I think with my still half asleep brain, as I grumble and slowly open my eyes blinking as flashes of bright color sear into my retinas
*Did I leave the TV on again* I think as I fully open my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the fuzziness.
I stare out....and I scream.
The light that had been pressing itself into my eyes as I awoke was not from the TV (obviously), but nor did it come from any other lightbulbs, LED light strips or any of my other shit.
Interestingly enough the light was emanating from veins of light that shifted in color, they lined the walls all around me, forming a tunnel, that apparently went straight down to whoever the hell knows what.
In conclusion, I was falling through some magical bullshit well, that could very well be taking me to hell...heh that rymed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAKK!!!" I screa- erm, I mean, say, in shock.....smooooth save.
"Oh your finally awake?" A random voice above me says in a rather calm tone.
I jolt in shock as I look around me for the voice
"What!?" I say ever so brilliantly.
"You were trying to cross the border weren't you?" The voice continues
This time I look up, half expecting to see a man in a tunic and with really long blonde hair.
"Wha-" only to pause as I attempt to comprehend what I'm looking at, only for my brain to say *fuck this* and start screaming again as I stare at this...whatsit? It wasn't really a thing of its own, it was like...an amalgamation of things rolled into one, it had a long almost serpentine like body with a goats head, instead of having a normal set of horns though it had an antler of one side and what looked like a blue ibex horn on the right? It was mismatched in every sense of the word, but it spoke with the voice of someone who sounds like they'd be a good jazz or blues singer, as he crosses his arms and gives me a rather sassy look.
"Well that is just rude" he says as he turns his head away with a pout.
I slowly stop my screaming, I gather my thoughts and ask him the most pressing questions that run through my mind currently.
"What?"
He gives me a side glance and rolls his eyes from my look of absolute befuddlement.
"Look, let's cut to the chase shall we? My name is Discord, god of chaos, I'm currently in a stone prison and I'm bored out of my MIND with the stupid goody goody crap that goes on every single day, so I'm plopping you off in the middle of ponyville for gits and shigles, sound good?"
With the information I was given, I respond with the best counter argument I could come up with.
"...what!?"
He looks at me a bit confused as to how I haven't gotten the point, before he looks like he remembers something as he snaps his finger and slaps the side of his forehead, causing his head to bounce off and then back on like a ball.
"Ah yes! I almost forgot!"
He takes off a little piece of his left horn, only for it to instantly grow back. He breathed a mumble chant into the piece as it started to glow and float down to me, turning into a medallion of this abomination in front of me winking.
"That is a piece of my power, it can become anything your heart or mind desires, yadda, yadda, yadda" he says as he flips through a book, almost as if this is some "technically required" info and warnings sheet.
I look down onto the medallion that has now placed itself on my neck, and form yet another
"What!?" As my brain continues to process the information that I am being given, a look of absolute terror and bamboozlement on my face as I look to "Discord" and the walls of the tunnel as we fall.
He doesn't seem to register it as he continues on with his rant.
"-side effects may result in depression, anxiety, immortality, hellfire bone rot disease, and migraines; alright that covers everything! Oh and don't worry about the fall, tuck in your knees and you'll be okay"
He says as he snaps his fingers causing a portal to form under me that looked like it led out to the middle of some blue sky and clouds, I look back up to him as I flail falling through the portal.
"WHAAAAAaaaaaaat" my screams fade away as discord closes the portal, reclines back on a red lazy boy chair he summoned and opens a viewing portal to watch as I fall through the sky flailing and screaming.
With a snap of his talons, a tub of popcorn appears in his hand, extra butter of course, as he lounges back and tossed a couple in his mouth.
As he swallows he starts humming free falling, compleating his affixation for references for this chapter.
Back to my perspective, I was clutching my blanket as I was diving through the air, attempting not to piss myself this early in the morning.
As I fall I notice that there is indeed a bottom to this fall, as some nice green Forrest was coming closer to give me a big old hug with its very sharp branches.
"OH FUCK ME!"
I tuck in my knees and close my eyes, feeling some branches scratch up my arms and legs, but instead of landing on some hard ground, and thankfully not a spiked branch, I land in what feels like a.....pile of hay?
I take a second to check and see if I feel anything in my body was broken or soar, but besides a couple scratches, I was perfectly okay.... somehow...
I stand up slowly and look around me, it looked like I was in some kinda campsite, a freshly extinguished fire left a smoky trail rising to the sky, and there was a line of three tent set up next to each other, rather small tents actually.
"...must be a bunch of back packers."
It looks like my fall was not unnoticed as it looked like whoever was camping here had started to stur from their tents.
When they did exit their tents, I was not met with the sight of humans, but thankfully I was not met with the sight of more of those "discords", instead what I saw was six little horses in pairs of two walk out of each tent, run their eyes and yawn then stare at me. They weren't normal looking horses, they where almost like ponies actually in build, except for their weirdly large, and kinda han eyes, not to mention each one of them was a different color of the rainbow, there was a purple one, a white one, an orange one, a pink one, a yellow one, and a blue one that had a rainbow for its hair....how tf that's even possible, I don't even know.
"What?"
I say ever so eloquently, only to be met with rather human screams from some of them.
"What the fuck!?"
I say, now noticing that some of them have horns, some have wings, and some have neither.
"What the fuck!?!"
The blue one shakes her head knocking herself out of her stupor and then jets towards me.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I say as I barely dodge her punch as it verly slightly grazes my chin. My eyes widen as if I see the world go into slow motion, I pull a full neo from the matrix as I see this gay blue torpedo shooting past above me.
The world returns to real time as I hear the horse crash into a tree behind me, I straighten myself out and look back to see that she was stuck in a bird hole in the side of the tree behind me. I look back to the rest of the group, who where now, up close , and very upset looking.... except for the yellow and pink one, the yellow one looked scared, while the pink one looked like she was kinda on something ngl (props a shit ton of sugar LMAO).
I look between all of them as I slowly move my hand to my pajama shorts pocket.
The purple one took a step closer and opened her mouth looking like she wanted to say something. But before she got the chance, and since I valued my mental well being enough to prevent myself from seeing a talking horse, I quickly pulled out my hand and blew out a fist full of fine sand into all their eyes, as I jump up and out of the cart of hay that I landed in and book it into the woods, shouting out one thing as I run away.
"Pocket sand!"
In discords external prison, one can almost hear him laughing his ass off.