Cute and Innocentby Betty_StarlightChaptersChapter 1: BrightnessChapter 2: Day OneChapter 3: Peeking OutChapter 4: A New PerspectiveChapter 5: The Demon ReturnsChapter 6: Cozy GlowChapter 7: The Rest of EquestriaChapter 8: Better Than One FriendChapter 9: When I Emerged...Chapter 10: The Ideal FillyChapter 11: Me, Cozy, and ZecoraChapter 12: Ophelia's Magical Twin SisterChapter 13: Beyond Good and EvilChapter 14: Other PoniesChapter 15: Origins part 1Chapter 1: BrightnessIn the beginning, there was nothing… All I remember is just blackness… The void… And my little pink body standing there, surrounded by it all… And then, daylight! It must have been during the afternoon? The sun shone brightly on my body, as I stood there on the concrete platform. Honestly, I couldn’t see so great! The sun was right in my eyes, and I could feel wetness around my cheeks, as if I had been crying, but that wasn’t nearly as concerning as the bright light I was trying to blot out with my right forehoof! “She’s free!” I hear a blue pony scream in the distance, and I remove my hoof, to see a blue earth pony bolting for the other end of the yard! “Oh, golly! He must be afraid of me?” I raise my gaze, in the bright light and feel the warmth of the sun’s glow on my flesh as my fur blows in the breeze… It felt amazing after all that nothing earlier! I’m still not sure who I am or what I’m doing here, but I feel as if I need to leave? I take off to fly out towards the open sky! I felt the wind blowing against my feathers for the first time in what felt like forever, and I feel the air blowing against my cheeks in glorious spender… It felt like….freedom! I feel the wetness on my cheeks begin to dry as I fly off towards a wide open treeline in the distance, but I also see I need to cross over some village to get there! I already flew over that big building, whatever it was… I think to myself… I stare down and see earth ponies and unicorns of different colors and mane styles, red, blond, blue, green, and yellow, all going to and from their respective places, and working to do whatever it is they do… It looked a lot like a town! I stare forward and think that that doesn’t matter now… I’m free now, and nothing else matters… I smile as I fly towards the forest on the horizon, as I feel the warmth of the sun on my back, and the wind lifting me higher towards the clouds… I was free… I was finally free… <*****> Once I crossed over the treeline, I watched as several different trails and paths led into the forest, and I raised my gaze to stare forward, away from the hot sun… I feel like I should know where I am? Gee, I’m kinda hungry! Uh, maybe there’s berries in the forest somewhere? How do I know which ones are safe to eat? Well, I remember somepony once told me not to eat the red ones, but that the black ones were okay… Wait, who taught me that? I shake my head to clear it before scanning the forest floor from overhead, where I continue to glide with my little wings, and I notice a particular bush near some strange blue flowers! I smile, “I bet that’s safe to eat?” I flutter down to the left, towards the bushes, from 50 feet away, and I come screaming in as I begin to quickly flap my wings away from me, to slow down, before I lightly land on my hooves in the forest clearing… Where did I learn to fly like that? I stare over at the bushes, maybe 10 feet from me, and I slowly trot over there on my hooves, to inspect it with my eyes… What color are my eyes, I wonder? I see the berries on the bush, are in fact, black! I notice it brushing up against some much smaller blue plants, but I think nothing of it as I eat the berries… They explode in my mouth with sour juicy flavor! I have no idea how long it’s been since I ate actual food… I matter-of-factly think to myself… Suddenly, I feel a weight grow on my shoulders, and I can barely move! I very slowly say, “Heeyy! Whhaatt giives? The words Cozy Slow suddenly enter my mind for some strange reason. Suddenly, I hear a deep feminine voice say from behind me, “I have traveled this area of the forest under the sky so blue, but I don’t recall seeing you! Who are you, young filly?” I very slowly turn around and try my best to mouth out, “I doooonnn’t knnnnoooowww mmmmmyyyy nnnnnaaaaammmmme… “ before very slowly blinking… The striped pony I see 8 feet away from me raises her gaze before turning back down to me and she asks me plainly, “That bush has poison joke! Did you eat from it, or no?” as she stares at me inquisitively with her blue eyes and I note her Mohawk style mane-cut and the 4 golden rings around her neck, which I guess are for decoration? I slowly blink again, and very slowly nod my muzzle up and down… She smiles, and says, “Ah! You have nothing to fear! I have just the thing, my dear!” before she takes two paces towards me, reaches down with her neck, and forcefully bites the back of my neck and turns her head around, to place me on her back… She keeps her grin, “Say nothing, little pony! I’ll make you well again, for your coming testimony! She turns her gaze and body further down the trail, while all I can do is watch the forest floor pass as she continues to slowly trot and speak to me, “You’ve become infected with poison joke, my new friend! Only a bubble bath, could this situation mend!” … A bubble bath? Oh, golly! That sure sounds like fun! … Wait a minute? <*****> She ran a bath for me, in her ivory bathtub in the small cottage… It was in the corner and I noticed the ornate elephant shaped feet… She then turns back to look at me, reaches down with her neck, to lift me back up from my neck, and she then turns to carry me towards the elephant tub… After taking 4 steps, she gently cranes her neck down to set me into the warm soapy water, with it’s many bubbles… Oh, boy! A bubble bath! Hooray! As the water covers my fur and it grows soggy, I begin the feel that weight from earlier beginning to lift… I finally move my neck to see her there, smiling at me, with similar white and black designs across her back and I finally ask her, “You have black and white stripes! What kind of pony are you?” She smiles wider, “I am what’s called a zebra, young soul! I come from a land far to the west! But what pray tell is your name, foal?” I blink and tell her the truth, “I uh, um, I have no idea!” She frowns, “So in this contemporary, you mean to tell me that you have no memory?” I nod, “That is correct! And you rhyme a lot!” She smiles again, “Indeed that is so! And my name is Zecora, just so you know!” … “Oh, golly!” Her mouth straightens, “Still, I don’t wish to call you nameless filly, and so what should I call you, to make this less silly?” And that’s when I smiled and said, “Call me, Captain Awesome!” You know, I really don’t see this one panning out? … Implying there were others… She smiles, “I shall call you, Ophelia!” I grin too, when I suddenly think I like my new name! (To be continued… ) Chapter 2: Day OneI slept deep underneath the covers in the small bed, in a little room, far to the left in Zecora’s hut… I didn’t realize how big this place actually was! This isn’t right… Nothing about my life makes sense anymore… Wait, did it ever make sense to me? I can’t tell! I open my eyes to see that I’m at the breakfast table, with Zecora across from me… Wait! Is this meal breakfast? I don’t know! She stares at me sternly in her azure gaze, “I can’t believe you would do such a thing, you rotten child! Now, I feel I should not be so mild! I never should’ve trusted you so! I believe it is time for you to go!” I widen my eyes, “Wait, Zecora! I don’t understand? What did I do?” She points towards the door to my right with her left hoof, “Leave now, so it’ll only be sad! You do not wish for me to get mad!” I feel tears forming in my eyes as I say, “B-but Zecora! What’s wrong? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Suddenly, my eyes open, and I feel bubbles of sweat formed on my forehead as I snuggle the other pillow underneath the covers in the darkened room, with the left side of my face buried in soft comfort, “Golly! What was that about?” I decide to get out of bed and trot to the living area, outside the little wooden door… I seem to have my own little room in this hut now? I think to myself as I use my right hoof to push open the hard portal, and then I spy Zecora, on the other side of the living area, with a large glass cylinder, with another smaller glass cylinder poking out of it, diagonally to lead to a small bowl… You know, it looked a lot like a bong! I look at her and ask, “You don’t want me to leave, do you?” She raises her snout to exhale a cloud of smoke, that lightly dances across towards the other side of the room, before turning her gaze right to me, “I don’t think so! Why do you believe for no… reason… “ before smiling, and giggling… I blink, before thinking it must have been a nightmare? “I uh, I don’t know… What are you smoking Zecora?” She continues grinning, “Well, if one pulls poison joke with rubber tongs, it becomes benign! But it also makes a very pleasant smoke, so sublime!” “I uh, I see… “ Oh, golly! I wonder if smoking that stuff would turn me into a raging smart-ass? Wait, why would it do that? I smile, “I’ll uh, go for a walk outside! I need some air!”* “Stray not far from the shack! It’s still dark outside, so watch your back!” She says, before putting her snout back into her bong and operating a hoof lighter with her right forehoof… “Oh, golly!” I exclaim while trotting out towards the door, and eventually closing it behind me with my right hoof… I stare out into the forest, underneath the blanket of darkness from overhead, laden with many bright and beautiful stars… I look up to the heavens and wonder for a moment… What happened to me? Why can’t I remember anything from my past? Why doesn’t anything seem real or normal to me anymore? I lower my gaze to stare down the trail, leading into darkness further into the forest… I sigh, I’m a freak! I just wish I could be normal…and blink… I hear a soft voice from behind me rhyme, “The night sky sure is beautiful as it is! Truly, one must learn to appreciate this!” I raise my gaze to the heavens and I see the tiny stars above, and think about how maybe all my problems really aren’t so humongous after all? I smile and, “I love you Zecora!” gets blurted out of my mouth suddenly, and unexpectedly! My eyes widen, “I love you too, Ophelia! The smoke has given me less inertia! Would you care for an early morning stroll, as the sun rises, my child? It might aid you, and possibly even make you smile?” Wait! Don’t I have wings? Why in Equestria would I actually walk anywhere? “Sure Zecora! That sounds swell!” I say, before lowering my gaze, to stare back down the darkened trail… I smile, and I look back and think that maybe it doesn’t seem so scary? <*****> I hear the crunching and cracking of dried leaves underneath my hooves, while trotting next to this strange striped pony, down the dark forest trail, with Celestia knows what lurking in the darkness, on either side amidst the trees… Well, she said she was a zebra? She turns right to me and says, “I understand you have little wings, so swift of flight! But I feel it is better to take your time, as we both trot into the night!” I smile at her, when I think I get it? “You just wanna take it slow, huh?” She nods, “Indeed, it would be good if you just learned to use your foot!” I stare forward, into the darkened woods, and it’s so strange, but it doesn’t seem so terrifying with this wonderful zebra trotting next to me? As I breathe the crisp morning air into my nostrils, I feel the coolness enter my lungs and I smile at this wonderful sensation! “I see, you enjoy your time here! Would you like to go back to Ponyville, as it is so near?” I turn back towards her and say, “Um, maybe later Zecora? I like just trotting out here, with it being just me and you!” She nods, “Very well, young one! There’s porridge for breakfast, and we shall watch the sun!” I turn back to the blackness and think… Oh, golly! That sure sounds yummy! <*****> I gripped the big wooden bowl in my forehooves and bring it to my snout, so I can taste the porridge with all the yummy butter and sugar in it! Gee, this sure is good! Zecora sits on her side of the outside pick-nick table, and smiles, “I see you enjoy your breakfast and food! I trust it is quite good? Although I would like to know! You have amnesia, but what do you really recall so?” I lower the bowl and raise my snout to her, and I actually seem to be smiling? “Oh, golly! There’s not much to tell! Um, “ I blink, “I can only barely remember my mother, before uh…” and frown, “B-before she,” and blink,” she went away… My dad was never really around, and I didn’t see him much… After all that, I remember I was alone… I used to sleep in a bunk room and I ate in a cafeteria… But…” and I blink again… “But that was all so long ago, and it doesn’t seem real anymore? I don’t know why I was in that courtyard?” She frowns, “Wait? When you were in a courtyard, and when was that so late?” I sigh and stare at her, “Well, I kinda uh… “ and blink, before processing how I’m going to say this? “I well… I came to and opened my eyes there in a courtyard, somewhere to the south of here… Um, yesterday I did, I mean… Um, “I blink, “at least, I think it’s to the south? Anyway, I didn’t really see anypony there, so I flew here into the forest, and well, that’s when I met you… “ I sigh… “Well, the poison joke incident, anyway… “ Her mouth straightens, “Well, you’re still young! It wouldn’t be right to not help you and leave you as you was! You have needs, just like anybody else does!” I smile, “Thank you so much, Zecora!” She smiles back, “You’re very welcome, little filly! But now that I’ve exercised, I believe I shall smoke another bowl, willy nilly! Do you have need of me for mean, or are you fine for the time being?” I briefly consider smoking dope from her bong again, before deciding against it, and smiling, “No, that’s okay Zecora! Go smoke up! I’ll just uh, sit here and soak up the atmosphere some more! I like all this nature stuff, right now… “ She smiles wider and nods, “Very well! Enjoy your nature sit, young Ophelia! I’ll be back to check on you, in a bit!” I grin widely at this wonderful zebra! “I’ll see you later!” <*****> I’m not sure how much time passed? I stared out into the forest floor… The dirt on the ground, laden with clumps of grass, here and there… The sound of birds chirping in the distance… The various rocks and twigs, strewn about the forest floor… And the crisp fresh morning air, entering and exiting my nostrils… I felt at peace… For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I was home… I can’t help but smile at the serene scene, and comforting noises I heard, there in the Everfree… I suddenly hear coughing, coming from the hut, just 12 short feet away from the worn wooden table… A thought suddenly strikes my mind like a thunderbolt, Maybe I should find a mirror? It might be helpful to know what I look like? Well, I’m obviously a pegasus pony, and very young… I think my bluish-white mane and tail were curled yesterday? You know, I didn’t even bother doing them last night! Wait, that would imply that I normally curl them, right? Maybe if I did curl them, that might help my memory? Uh, maybe later? Oh, golly! It’s getting hard to think now! ** Suddenly, I hear a cheerful feminine voice yell with an accent, “Come back inside to eat! I made pizza, and it’s quite the feast!” Gee, pizza sure sounds yummy! She’s being really nice to me. Why do I keep thinking that means I shouldn’t trust her? Well, what could she be planning? I’m a lone filly, who legitimately can’t remember her past! There’s nothing to gain from that, r-right? Think Ophelia! Why is she being so nice to me? Wait, my name is Ophelia, now? I eventually hear the same voice from earlier, “Ophelia, come hither! Your pizza no longer simmers!” I blink and think maybe I should just go back into the hut now? (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Twinkle Shine lives! **If I try to think back to my lost memories for too long, my mind will kind of freeze and lock up… Chapter 3: Peeking OutAnd so, I lay on my bed, with my head on the pillow at the head, my long wavy mane-locks laying on the pillow, and lightly tickling my shoulders, as I crossed my forehooves at my chest, and stared at the ceiling… I was thinking about everything, and yet, I was thinking about nothing… When suddenly, the door to my room comes open, and in trots a small pink pegasus filly… She looks a lot like me, except her mane and tail are still neatly curled in rows, and she has a peculiar smirk on her face… “Well well well! I was wondering when you’d show up again! Although after all this time, I gotta wonder, what are you waiting for?” I look up and frown at this other filly, “What are you talking about?” Her head bounces so I see her curls bobble as she says, “Oh, don’t be coy, Ophelia! Assuming that’s the name you want to keep! You know, we’ve had a lot of names in the past!” I frown harder, and say gruffly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” She giggles, causing that familiar curl-bounce from earlier, “You’re just so adorable, I don’t know whether to snuggle you or kick the buck out of you? Just KICK THE EVER LIVING BUCK OUT OF YOU!” I smile, “Oh, please! I’m pretty sure I could take you, by this point!” before wondering what it is I’m talking about? Her gaze lowers while she keeps the smile on her face… “You think so, huh?” <*****> I open my eyes while laying on my side again, in my little room! My eyes are wide open, staring into the darkness as I feel new bullets of sweat formed on my forehead… “Golly! Who was that?” I wonder out loud… I hear Zecora coughing from the living area of the hut again… I know her room is on the other end, but she’s obviously up now! I finally decide to get out of bed, with a peaceful sigh exiting my mouth, before my hooves hit the wooden floor with a clack… I trot to the door and open it just in time to see Zecora sitting with her legs crossed in that funky zebra pose she does, as she uses her right forehoof to bring a lit cigarette to her lips, and purses, to take a drag… I trot out of the room, “Oh, golly! You’re doing drugs again, huh?” As I trot to the center and stop in the darkened room, amidst the tribal masks all arranged neatly on the far wall, she smiles, and keeps the hit in her lungs… She finally opens her mouth, and exhales a small stream of smoke, before grinning at me and saying, “One must smoke torvia very deliberate. One must hold the hit, in their lungs to count for a bit. Only then may you breathe out! And once done, the effects will take route!” before closing her eyes and keeping her hooves at her side, with her hind legs still crossed, “Then, I must focus on my breath alone, lest the trip go awry. I urge you to close your eyes, do the same, and give it a try!”* I didn’t have drugs in my system the way this crazy zebra shaman did, but I closed my eyes and obeyed all the same… In breath… Out breath… I’m pretty sure I hear Zecora snuffing out the cigarette in her ashtray, as I breath in again… Out breath… “Focus on your breath alone! Only in this way, is true mindfulness sewn!” Out breath again… In breath… “Golly, this mindful breathing thing, sure is something!” ** “Yes, child! Whenever you are stressed or concerned, always go back to your breath to avoid being burned!” I smile while taking another in breath… It’s so strange, but just the simple pleasure of breathing seems almost magical now? I open my eyes to see a smiling zebra, sitting cross-legged, with her forehooves at her side, and eyes closed… “Are you okay Zecora” “Of course, young one! I often meditate just for fun!” “Oh, golly!” I say, before finally deciding to trot outside, and making my way to the door in the other right corner of the room… I hear Zecora, “Stray not far Ophelia! You don’t want to miss breakfast! I have something special in mind,and it will be just the thing to fix for our bind!” <*****> I trot out of the hut and into the open patch of dirt on the forest floor, now darkened by the overhead patches of trees… I look up at the branches above me, and see the shade being cast on me below… I sigh and think maybe flying up there might be good for me? And so, I decide to stretch the ol’ wings and begin flapping vigorously to take off towards the heavens! I feel the cool morning air on my face as I head into the sky, and continue flapping my little pink wings as my mind becomes clear and calm… This is what it’s really about! Freedom and power! Yes! I have power over myself now, here in the sky, finally! I continued to fly further, as the sun shown in from the left. Remember who you are and your purpose! I hear a voice in my head say… Again, I have no idea what I’m talking about or what I’m saying when I say back to it out loud, “No! I’m not like you! I’m better than that!” Do you really think we could start over after everything? “I’m going to give it a shot…” I say, more determined than ever! Wait! Determined about what? I gulp when I think that surely, somepony in my head knows? Suddenly, I hear a voice screaming from below! “Hey, I think I see Cozy Glow up there?” My eyes widen, “Oh, golly!” and for some reason I suddenly feel as if I should turn around and fly back towards the hut! I don’t know why, but those ponies don’t sound very friendly? I think as I notice that I’m in fact, flying open grasslands and fields, right now! I must’ve been flying for longer than I thought? I think to myself, as I flap towards the treeline coming up on the horizon… In breath… Out breath… <*****> I land in the dirty forest floor with my hooves neatly clumping into the soil… And I start breathing heavier when I hear more shouting in the distance, “Hey, I think she went this way?” I breath in and out quickly when I suddenly think that I really don’t wanna meet those ponies! And so, I do the logical thing, and take off towards the shack door in a full gallop! I see it’s thatched walls and matching straw roof come into focus and get larger in my view as I race towards the door! I open the door and bolt inside, disturbing a kind zebra shaman, who opens her wide blue eyes from her meditation stance and asks, “Child, you came in so quick, and I was not ready! Open the door slowly from here on out, so I am more steady!” I stare at her with wide eyes, as I stand on all fours, and feel droplets forming on my forehead, as I keep breathing in and out heavily… In and out! In and out! “They’re… coming for me! The bad ponies! They don’t want me free and happy!” as I continue to wonder why I’m saying these things? “Bad ponies you say, dear lad? Tell me, who are these ponies, and why are they bad?” I gulp when I realize that I really have no way of explaining this to her? I stare at her and say, “Uh, um, never mind! I’ll be in my room! Yes!” and nod, before launching myself with my wings to hurriedly fly back towards the left, where my small room is in the shack… As I open the door, she says, “I will check on you in a bit! Just focus on your breathing and try not to fit!” <*****> … Once again, I have no idea how long I laid there on my bed, staring at the ceiling again… This time though, my mind was far from empty! Who are those ponies down south and why are they bad? Why do I think that I really shouldn’t go meet them? Well, if Ponyville is to the south, that could only mean that I should stay away from there! Yup! Ponyville is DEFINITELY bad news! I softly and quietly nod to myself, before I hear a knock on my door! “Come in!” I call out, although this time, I poked my head up to stare at the door, because whatever comes through there, I wanna be ready! It opens and in trots a striped equine with a Mohawk style mane-cut, and a calm gentle smile on her face, “So now that you’ve settled down, I have to know! Just what do you know about the bad ponies who trouble you so?” I gulp, “I-I know they’re looking for me… And I think they want to hurt me? I uh, “I blink, “I’m not sure why, but I just keep thinking that I REALLY don’t wanna meet these ponies… They’re scary… “ and nod. “Yes! Scary, bad ponies!” She frowns, “But why are they looking for you? Tell me child, just what did you do?” “I…” I close my eyes, “I don’t know, okay?” and I breathe again… In and out… “They want to hurt me and they don’t like me…” In and out… “I don’t want to meet them… “ I can almost feel her nod at this point, before she says, “Very well then! If meeting them is off the menu, we shall take another venue!” and I hear hooves clopping on the floor… “But child, why don’t you come here for a hug? Surely, love would be the ideal drug?” I finally open my eyes, to see this zebra shaman standing there, adorned with her golden neck rings and those massive hoops she put on her ears, as she smiles at me, and patiently waits on all fours… Patient? I ponder to myself as I land on the floor with another clack! I keep my eyes peeled on this zebra drug addict, as I pace towards her… Left hoof… Right hoof… Left hoof… Right hoof… Slow and easy, like in the woods! She eventually brings me in with her left forehoof, and she then, props up on her hind legs to embrace me with her other foot… I felt, safe, warm, and happy… I bring my forelegs to wrap around her… I felt okay again… I think I’m smiling? I’m not crying though… No, I would never cry… (To be continued… ) Author's Note *For the purposes of this story, ‘torvia’ is the Equestrian equivalent to salvia divinorum, a drug I have experience with in real life. **You know, I’m literally a trained yogi with years of experience, and mindful breathing is one of many techniques I employ in my practice. Chapter 4: A New PerspectiveAs I closed my eyes there in my warm, comfortable bed, I felt at peace… Zecora had officially welcomed me with open hooves and I’m now an accepted member of this household… Or uh, hut-hold? Something like that! Do you really think we can just start over like that, after EVERYTHING? I open my eyes and whisper back to the voice in my head, “Yes, I do! I don’t know who you are, or why you’re here, but I do know that this is a new life for me, and nopony, not even you, whoever you are, is going to stop that!” before blinking, and asking, Are you my enemy? In my mind… Wouldn’t you like to know? Why don’t I trust you? Could it be, because you know better? You’re very irritating, you know that? Oh, I’m sorry, Ophelia! You know, we used to be friends? Remember? Friendship is power and all that? “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” I say out loud… The voice is silent, before finally saying, You truly don’t remember, do you? “What?” I say out loud… It’s okay Ophelia… I’m gonna MAKE you remember! At that point, time stopped… I got up off my bed finally, to timidly trot through my room to the wooden door on the other side… I need to see Zecora! You can’t stop me forever, you know? I open the door with my right hoof, and launch myself through the air, to flap out of my room, with my little wings… The foyer seems empty this time, as I flap in and fly around the room, I see many beanbag chairs of various colors, red, yellow, green, and blue, all arranged around the wooden table, on the floor… I land on the green beanbag chair on the other side of the room, and sit there on my haunches, amidst the many other seats… Remember your purpose! I blink and stare down at the table, before seeing the partially crumpled half-joint there in the ashtray, and a neon green hoof lighter… I make a decision right then and there, and put the cigarette and lighter into my chest floof… I got something I shouldn’t have now! I think to myself, before calmly turning around on the chair and flapping my wings to fly back to my room, on the other side… I flap to the door, and open it to the left with my forehooves by flying backwards again, and then I fly in and land there… My hooves go clackon my floor… I start breathing heavily, in and out my nostrils, and I feel the wind course through my body as I trot over to the door, and shut it quickly…Snap! Goes the lock… I feel beads of sweat forming on my head, as I take out the joint, and put it in my mouth… What am I doing? I’ve never done this before! What are you doing, Ophelia? I strike the green lighter underneath the joint, and I feel heat on my chin, before I move it a bit outward, and higher, to ignite the end of the partially smoked joint… Ophelia? Do you really think that’ll work? I take the joint out of my mouth and exhale a cloud of smoke in front of me, as my mind suddenly grows hazy… Are you still there? Hello? I think to myself, because it hasn’t said anything in awhile… The mystery filly seems to have gone away? Better make this count! I think to myself, before bringing the joint to my mouth for another hit… I hold the hit in my lungs, while the room shifts to the left and I stumble as I try to trot to the window… Why did I start doing this? I think to myself, as I exhale a cloud of smoke, into my room, which now seems kinda foggy… What if Zecora catches me? I put the mostly burned joint to my lips, and take another drag, as ashes fall off the front… The voice is gone now… I’m free again… So at least there’s that! I feel the warm smoke enter my lungs… I just wish I knew why you wanted to get rid of me? The voice suddenly asks, imploringly. I exhale and ask out loud, “Who are you?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I bring the joint to my lips for one of the final drags… I inhale, and feel the warmth enter my lungs yet again… You know, I honestly expected to cough more. Why is this easy for me? I exhale a cloud of smoke and ask out loud, “Are you still there? Hello?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I stare forward, “Golly, I guess I smoked her away?” I then take the final drag, and watch ash fall off, as the flame moves to the cardboard tip, and suddenly goes extinct... <*****> I slept underneath the covers of my soft warm bed… You know, I think it must’ve been the drugs, but it now just felt five times better, and so much more plush and comfortable! Golly, I love cotton downy sheets! Suddenly, I’m awoken again when there is a knock on my door! I poke my head up at the head, and yell, “Come in!” What if my room smells like drugs? The door opens and in trots a familiar zebra with a Mohawk mane-cut, golden rings around her neck, and a frown on her face, “Ophelia, I needed to check on you! Are you okay? What do you say?” I smile at her, as if everything is normal, “Oh golly, Miss Zecora! I’m just swell! Thanks for checking on me!” She lowers her view, “Are you sure? You’re acting off, and I need to make sure you’re okay in your loft.” “Gee, why wouldn’t I be okay, Zecora?” “Well, you’ve slept for four hours, or so! That would suggest that you’re sick, or not feeling well, and I know I need to take care of you now. So if there’s anything wrong, let me know just how?” I don’t think my eyes are darting, but they sure want to! “I’m good, Miss Zecora! I’ll be out for dinner soon!” I say before giving her the widest grin ever… She sighs, “Very well, little pony! I’ll go make us fruit for dinner, and we’ll eat, so I’m not so stony.” before turning to trot out of my room… I see her turn, and hear her clacking hooves on the floor as she trots away from me to the door… Clack clack... I see the door go open again, and shut with the zebra behind it… I got away with it… I got away with smoking a joint… Gee, that was a lot easier than I thought! I wonder what else I can get away with? Why, oh why did I smoke that joint? What’s happening to me? And where did that other filly go, and just who is she anyway? I stare up at the ceiling and finally ask myself, “Am I a bad filly?” Why do I feel bad about this? And why do I keep thinking that I’ll do that again? Should I just come clean to Zecora? What if she gets mad and kicks me out? That wouldn’t be good! Oh, golly! Why did I do that? Suddenly, another voice enters my mind… Oh, gee! Now you have a moral dilemma, huh? What ever will you do? I whisper to the ceiling, “I don’t need your input!” Well, you’re gonna get it anyway! He he he! So, you’re smoking dope now? And you just don’t know what Zecora is gonna say, when she finds out, is that right Ophelia? “What if I told her myself?” Do you really believe that’s wise, Ophelia? What if she kicks you out? “Is that really worse than the guilt I feel, about what I did? Besides, that seems kinda extreme? I don’t think it’s logical to think that she’d do that, considering the nature of the crime?” Even so, I still gotta ask! Just why did you smoke that joint? And uh, w-wait a minute! You, actually feeling guilty? The voice is now silent, before finally saying, I don’t think you’re the same filly I was talking to earlier? Since when do you feel remorse for anything? I blink and widen my eyes, “W-wait! Other filly? Doesn’t she feel remorse? What are you talking about?” and raise my neck slightly. “Just who are you, anyway?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I cringe, “Just who the buck are you?” Again, only mute blankness… I breathe out, and I suddenly hear Zecora coughing from the foyer… Hey, maybe I should joint her? Wait, joint her? What am I even saying? Is that stuff from earlier still in my head? Oh, golly! At that point, I stare up at the ceiling, and make another decision… I breathe in and out, through my mouth to brace myself… I then turn my body over on the bed, and launch myself through the air, with my little wings, to float towards the door, a bit quicker than usual… If I’m gonna do this, I’d better be quick about it, and just get this over with! What are you doing, Ophelia? I turn the doorknob with my forehooves and floatback, so that the portal opens, and sure enough, I see Zecora there, sitting in her funky zebra cross-hooved position, while one of her forehoof brings a burning cigarette towards her lips… Before pursing, she says, “Ah, yes! Before gathering fruit, I wished to take a toke break! What’s on your mind filly? Is something at stake?” and then, clamps her lips on the end, to inhale… As her lungs fill with smoke, I just blurt out, “I smoked poison joke!” She exhales smoke, before saying, “While certainly possible, it is not likely my dear! Poison joke was in my stash, but devil weed was all that was here!” I frown, “Wait! There’s different drugs?” She puts the joint out by snuffing in her glass ashtray with her left forehoof, while patting the blue beanbag chair, next to her red one, with her other hoof, smiling at me the whole time… I gulp, and slowly trot into the room… “Come here little filly, because it’s time to talk about drugs! If you indeed have a habit in tow, you must keep it in it’s place, so you’ll know how to go!” “Oh, golly!” I say under my breath… The zebra continues to grin at me, as I trot over to my incoming death… (To be continued…) Chapter 5: The Demon ReturnsSo you wussed out, and told her you smoked devil weed, huh? The voice in my head chimes in… I then hear Zecora talking, “So, you must understand that if you are to use substances like this, you must follow certain rules to avoid the abyss!” I blink and snap to attention, “Oh? Well, gee! What are those rules?” and to the voice in my head, I mentally say, I thought I was smoking poison joke, remember? Gee, you don’t pick up on things very fast, huh? She smiles and nods, “Well, you must remember to go slowly and not use too much! Your grip is what must be maintained, as such!” “Grip?” I raise an eyebrow. It doesn’t matter what you try! I’ll eventually get through again! I’ve done it before! I hear the voice say… She nods, “Yes, little one! Let me fire this one up and show you! As I said, one must go slow!” before taking a freshly rolled joint in her right hoof, and bringing it to her lips, to clamp… “Lighting too, is a skill that must be learned! Then, the best lights can be earned!” before taking the lighter in her other hoof, and striking it to fire up right in front of her face… I note how she moves her snout forward and visibly inhales, so the flame gently moves towards the cigarette, and barely licks the end, to ignite it in a small glow… Almost like she’s trying to teach me? I think to myself, as I watch this zebra inhale… We don’t have to fight, you know? The voice in my head says… I see her stomach contract as she exhales an impressive stream of smoke from her snout, and turns to stare at me, “Tradition dictates that each pony gets two hits before they pass to the left!” * I watch the zebra bring the joint to her lips for another pull, as the voice in my head says, Ophelia? Are you still there? I ignore the voice as Zecora passes the burning joint to me with her left hoof… I take it, and bring it to my snout for my first drag… Maybe this will shut you up? I think to myself, as I feel the warm smoke entering my throat, and traveling down into my lungs… Zecora says, “Inhaling should be gradual and slow! The lungs must not be overwhelmed, so you know!” I take note of this while inhaling, and loosen my diaphragm, so the smoke begins to seep slower and more gradually into my lungs… ** Zecora smiles and nods, “You are learning child! I want to teach you to be responsible! Only then, is growing up truly possible! Now hold the hit in your lungs and count to three! After that, exhale and let the smoke free!” I smile and mentally count to 3, as I feel the weed begin to take hold in my brain, and body… This feels really nice! Wait, am I alone again? I exhale a cloud of smoke, and I notice, that now, I only hear silence in my mind… Zecora nods, “Now, take your time! Get ready, and take another hit, when you feel sublime!” I nod and say to her, “Thanks, Zecora!” Zecora keeps a grin on her face, “You’re very welcome, little one! Go on! Take a hit! It’s fun!” I nod, and bring the joint to my lips for another drag… I feel the heat in my gut, as Zecora says, “Excellent, now give me the smoke! It’s time for my turn to toke!” I calmly extend my right forehoof to her, as I exhale a big puff of smoke… I notice the distant fuzzy feeling in my head, as she grasps the joint from me. I finally finish exhaling a cloud of smoke, as I see the zebra bringing the joint to her snout. I turn to stare at her, “Why are you smoking drugs with a filly?” She visibly grins with the cigarette in her lips, before taking it out and exhaling, before staring back at me, “Because little filly, you are conflicted, no? I find with a little herb, things become simple enough to show! We shall now smoke together, and I’ll watch you well! If you have any adverse reactions, I could tell!” I see her taking another hit as I say to her, “You think I’m gonna smoke again, huh?” She nods as she takes the joint out of her mouth, and extends her hoof to me, before exhaling a moment later, “Yes, I do Ophelia! And this is a habit you have, you say, I will teach you how to do it right, so at least you’ll be okay!” I get the joint from her grasp, “Golly, you really do care for me, huh?” I bring the joint to my lips, while she says, “I’d like to think I’ve proven that already? Is there anything you need, or are you quite steady?” and smiles at me, while I inhale… Why is that irritating? I think to myself, while mentally counting to 3… “How do you feel, foal? I know you’ve taken a few hits, so now I have to know?” I exhale smoke and say, “Your rhyming gets a little bit sloppier when you’re high!” before bringing the joint to my mouth… Why did I say that? Think to myself, as heat goes into my throat and I see a certain zebra shaman beginning to giggle… “One is imprecise when stoned, and so, it makes sense to take it slow!” I feel smoke in my lungs again… I hoof her the joint while holding the hit in my lungs and thinking about what I’m going to say? She takes the joint and says, “Go ahead and finish this when I am done! I’ll be back to check on you, after some time in the sun!” I exhale at this preposterous notion, before turning to her, “How do you know I won’t burn down the house?” I ask her, before wondering why? She nods, “I have faith in you, one who is young! I think leaving you by yourself shall serve as a gauge for the not too soon! Just be mindful, young filly, of the herb and its effect; so do not swoon! Keep your breathing steady, with zero heft, and your grip shall remain deft." She has faith in me! I think before putting the roach out in the glass ashtray on the table, and then smiling at her, “Uh, that’s okay Zecora! You go take your walk, and I’ll just uh, stay here! Yeah!” “I want you to tell me about what you thought about, just for clarification! You must be able to be alone, and I need more information!” Before getting off the chair and trotting towards me… I see this hug coming from miles away, so I get to my hooves, from my own beanbag chair, and she soon wraps her forehooves around me… “I love you, Zecora!” I say to her, while returning the hug. “I love you too, young foal! I’ll be back with berries, so don’t get too full!” “You expect me to raid your fridge, don’t you?” She giggles, “Well, not all strains will give you the munchies, just so you’re aware! But some definitely will, so beware!” I bury my head in her floof… It’s weird, but now that I’ve smoked, I just don’t want this hug to end! <*****> But eventually, it does… Zecora leaves, and I’m once again alone, with my thoughts… Suddenly, I hear a voice in my mind, Ophelia? I’m back! Um, I want to talk! I don’t miss a beat, and grab the roach from the holder in the glass ashtray on her little table, before putting it in my snout… Ophelia? Please! Can we just talk? I bring the neon purple hoof lighter to my snout, and strike it to ignite the flame, and bring my snout to it, to inhale, and light the joint in my mouth… I taste warm weed on my tongue as the voice says, Okay, look! I uh, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? Please talk to me again, Ophelia! I exhale a cloud, before saying, “I don’t know who you are!” to the air, and bringing the joint to my mouth… W-what? We’ve been chatting this whole time! What are you saying, Ophelia? I think back, I’m saying that you’re a pain in the flanks, and I’m going to get rid of you! I exhale while the voice is silent again… Suddenly, it says, Okay, now you’re just making me mad! I smile and giggles, “So?” before bringing the partial joint to my mouth for another pull… I feel heat enter my snout, as silence overtakes my mind… I hold the hit in my lungs… I exhale another cloud of smoke… Finally, the voice says, Could you please talk to me again, Ophelia? Um, i-it’s really lonely, and if I’m gonna be honest, this kinda hurts my feelings! I suddenly laugh! “Feelings? Since when do you have feelings?” Before I bring the cigarette to my snout once more… There’s only silence in my mind, as I feel the heat in my lungs… I eventually exhale another stream of smoke… I hesitate to take the next drag… Eventually, I hear the voice again, Please Ophelia? I just want my friend back! Or well, any friend really! I uh, I don’t think I know who you are? You aren’t the same as before… I bring the roach to my lips for another pull, You’re a nuisance! I only register muteness while my lungs are full of smoke… I exhale a cloud of smoke, and decide to put the roach out after that… I stare at it and think that there’s maybe a couple more hits left? What will I tell Zecora when she returns? She doesn’t know about the demon! Or uh, I don’t think she does? And why does smoking make it go away? It thinks it’s clever, trying to get me to feel sorry for it…I grin widely… But I know better than to trust anypony! (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Tradition dictates that each smoker gets two hits, before passing to the left. I know not the origins of this, only that that’s how it’s done. **Fun fact, as a trained yogi, I know a LOT about breathing. Chapter 6: Cozy GlowI sat on the chair in Zecora’s shack, with a red book on crystals that I found in her library… I thought it looked interesting, and I had nothing to do while Zecora was in town, so I thought I’d read! I flipped to a random page towards the back, to the section labeled rose quartz… I smile as I begin to read about the heart chakra and how the crystal can benefit it… When suddenly, I hear a familiar voice in my head, Ophelia? Can we talk? I roll my eyes, when I think that there’s probablyno way I can get out of this conversation, “Yes, what do you want?” I whisper… There’s silence before I hear it say, You aren’t the same as before, and I get that now. I finally understand… Um, can we be friends? I sigh and stare blankly ahead, “You already asked me that!” Yeah, but you never gave me a response… My eyes widen as I stare at the far wall, adorned with the spooky mask, before murmuring, “Okay, I guess that’s technically true!” The voice is silent, while I continue staring at the far wall, and not the book… Well? I finally whisper, “If I say yes, will you just shut up already?” The voice is silent for another moment, before saying, Well, I guess? I mean, it might be nice if uh, you know, you actually WANTED to be friends with me, though… I sigh, and angrily cry, “Oh, for pony’s sake!” before putting the book down, and taking off to fly towards the door… <*****> I stand on Zecora’s wooden porch, underneath the shanty awning, and start breathing mindfully again… In breath… Out breath… Golly, that filly is annoying! I think to myself in my head, before taking off to trot down the woodland trail, there in the Everfree… I decided to trot with my hooves and take my time, just like Zecora showed me earlier… No need to rush! Just enjoying a pleasant trot in the woods! Nothing more! I continue trotting, when I suddenly think that maybe I should’ve smoked before I left? And sure enough, I hear the voice again, Ophelia? Can we talk, please? I continue trotting, while I whisper back, “What now? I’m busy!” Okay, I’m just gonna be blunt! Who are you, and what did you do with the filly from before? I stop trotting, and stare at the ground, and see all the twigs and rocks in the dirt, as clouds lazily float overhead, blocking the sun out in spots further down the trail, and I decide to take the offensive! I angrily grumble, “You know, it might be easier to share with you, if you at least told me your freaking name?” as my head tilts left in irritation! The voice is silent… “Well?” I growl as my head normalizes. I… I don’t know, okay? The uh, the other filly never wanted to know my name… I turn my face diagonal the other way in irritation, “What do you mean, ever wanted to know your name? How the hay did she address you?” She didn’t… Diagonal, the other direction now, “What do you mean, she didn’t?” The voice sighs… I mean, I only spoke to her when I wanted her to do things… I remember the rush of power so well, when she put that crown on her head… My head centers as my eyes widen, “Oh, golly! Uh, what happened?” You know, I think that maybe telling her to do all those things wasn’t exactly the best thing I could’ve done? I mean, I did get her frozen in stone! I think for a moment, before finally muttering, “Frozen in stone? So uh, wait! That platform I woke up on! I remember, it was cement and very hard!” That was probably the same platform where they froze the other filly! I nod, “Okay uh, well, what happened to the other filly? The one they called Cozy Glow? Because I uh, I don’t think I’m Cozy Glow? I think I’m Ophelia?” Gee, that makes two of us! Look, Ophelia, since I guess that’s your name, I’m trapped in here… Can we please just well, I don’t know? Get along, maybe? I sigh, “Alright, but I’m still smoking devil weed!” I can almost feel the voice feel better when it suddenly replies, Deal! “And poison joke, too! Uh, whenever that happens… “ I can almost feel the strange voice grinning at me… “Also, your name is Rowan is now!” Rowan? Why Rowan? “Well, it’s unisex!” You know, my gender is probably female, right? I turn my eyes skyward, “Can we tell for sure?” I ask the voice before re-centering my gaze, and suddenly wanting a joint… The voice is silent… Okay uh, I guess, maybe you got a point there? You know what? Rowan is fine! Idiot!* “Moron!” I whisper back to the voice as I begin trotting down the trail again… Jerk! The voice retorts… “Dummy!” I mutter back… The voice is silent for a moment, before finally saying, You know, you never told me what happened to Cozy Glow? I continue trotting towards a rope bridge as I say, “So, Cozy Glow the name of the other filly you keep talking about, huh?” Yes, that was the name she was using when she went to Ponyville, to infiltrate the school… “But she’s had many names before, you say?” Also true! But uh, where did she go? I honestly don’t know what to say to this strange voice, so I finally just admit, “I uh, I don’t know, okay?” The voice is silent… So that’s it then? You just woke up on a platform in the midday sun, escaped here to the Everfree, and you’re hiding out now? “Hiding out? What?” Rowan is silent… You know what? Never mind! This pretty much continued, on and off for the rest of my hike, but still, I got to see lots of pretty birds and trees and I liked the way the sun was partially covered up by the clouds! You know, I remember learning the weather in the Everfree wasn’t controlled by pegasi… I’m not really sure where I learned that? I finally decide to trot back to Zecora’s, because this filly needs a smoke! <*****> I trot down the woodland trail and the forest begins to grow dark, underneath the treetops… I breathe, in and out as I continue trotting down the trail… It’s just kinda dark and spooky! No problem! Gee, this forest sure is scary around here, huh? The voice chimes in, both breaking my concentration and bringing up the one thing I was trying not to think about! I grumble back to it under my breath, “Yeah, it’s scary! But I can totally get through this!” You sure? You should be careful! I continue trotting past a gnarled oak tree on the left side, that looks ancient, enormous, and probably quite dead… I murmur under my breath, “Are you okay, Rowan?” before suddenly wondering if I truly care? Oh, yeah! I’m good! I’m just fine! Keep looking around though! I’m not sure if it’s safe? I whisper back, “And the dark forest scares you?” No! Uh, okay! Maybe a little bit? Look, we’re both in this body now, so don’t get hurt, alright? I keep trotting towards the bright opening I see in the leafy canopy overhead, maybe a hundred yards away, “So you do care about me?” Considering we’re in the same body for uh, some reason, you could say I’m invested, yes! I smile, “I love you too, Rowan!” sarcastically. The voice is silent… What? The other filly didn’t even give me a name, and now you’re saying that you love me? I’m not sure Rowan understands sarcasm, but at the same time, they sound very hopeful? I decide not to fuck it up! “Yes, Rowan! Now that I see who you really are, I think we could probably get along? I mean, beats having an angry voice in my head, right?” I’m almost to the opening and can almost feel the heat of the sun as Rowan says, So you don’t want me mad at you, huh? I nod as I trot out into the sunlit trail ahead, and the treetops no long obscure the sky, “Well, you’re inside me, right? We’re both connected, yes?” Rowan is silent… Alright Ophelia, I’ll do my best to be nice to you, and you do the same for me, alright? Let’s try to get along! Or uh, whatever! I chuckle at this confused voice in my head as I continue to trot down the bright forest trail, leading towards the clearing some distance away… <*****> The rest of the day was just swell! Rowan didn’t really bother me, and I have a yummy dinner with Zecora, before I happily took the dishes back to the sink and wash them! I don’t mind helping out around here now. Well, not after everything… I hear Zecora say from the foyer, “When you’re done Ophelia, I have a blue lotus joint for us to smoke! Do a good job now, and then we’ll share a toke!” Oh, golly! I wanted to smoke poison joke, earlier! Suddenly, I hear Rowan again, Do you think that’ll make me go away? I scrub off the white plate in my right hoof, using the scrub brush in my left, while I whisper, “Probably? I mean, me becoming stoned, seems to make you go away, right?” I set it aside on the left of the sink, on the awaiting folded blue towel, before picking up the other plate to wash it… Since I’ll be forced to go away anyway, I’m gonna take a nap! “Sweet dreams, Rowan!” I whisper, mostly to myself, and I set the plate on the left towel, next to the other, before raising my neck and shouting to the foyer, “Alright Zecora! Here I come!” <******> I sit on the blue beanbag chair as Zecora smiled at me from the other side, sitting on a neon green beanbag and bringing a freshly rolled joint to her face, with a visible blue end, before taking the hoof lighter in her off-hoof and igniting it, before she leans forward, to inhale, causing he flame to kiss the end and ignite it into a bright cherry, that glows as Zecora takes the first drag… She soon takes the joint out of her snout, and exhales a stream of smoke, before staring at me and matter-of-factly stating, “So in Ponyville, I just learned that the statue of Cozy Glow is missing from the courtyard at the School of Friendship!” and then bringing the burning cigarette to her lips once more. I widen my eyes, “Oh? Who’s Cozy Glow?” She exhales a big cloud of smoke to my left, and stares at me intently, “Do you mean to tell me that you do not know, truthfully child? You say you have amnesia, but I don’t know if it’s severe or mild?” “Zecora, until today, I had no idea who Cozy Glow was!” Zecora hooves me the joint, and says plainly, “Cozy Glow was an evil pegasus filly who tried to take over the land! They froze her in stone as punishment for her crimes!” and then lowers her gaze, “But it appears Cozy hasn’t served all of her time!” “Her statue is gone?” I ask before bringing the joint in for a HARD drag… I need some cushioning for this one! Zecora nods somberly, “Cozy had a neatly curled mane and tail! Not unlike the way yours were, before the curls unraveled and failed! You never put your curls back in, so you could remain unseen, isn’t that how you’ve sailed?” I exhale a BIG puff of smoke, and stare at this zebra with hazy eyes as I try my best to stay composed and do my best to tell the truth! “I uh, I don’t know?” I say, before bringing the joint to my snout for another pull… This stuff seems to be mellowing me out? “Yes, and Ophelia, answer me true, so I know! Are you really Cozy Glow, yes or no?” I exhale a steady stream of smoke to the right of this curious zebra shaman, before staring at her directly and telling her the truth! “I… I don’t know, okay? I don’t know anything! I just woke up and now, everypony seems to want to get me?” I adjust my gaze to her and hope for the best! “Please Zecora! If I turn out to be Cozy Glow, please don’t kick me out!” I say before widening my eyes in fear! Zecora smiles sedately and says, “Calm yourself, Ophelia! Tell me, now that we know where you came from, do you wish to keep your new name, or should I refer to you as Cozy Glow again?” I hoof her the joint, because I think I’m done and breathe heavily, in and out of my snout… In and out… I see the zebra taking a drag, before adjusting my gaze to her and saying, “Oh, golly gee! I don’t know who Cozy Glow is, okay? I uh, “ and smiling. “I like Ophelia! Can we just uh, please keep calling me Ophelia, please?” She casually smiles and says, “Of course little filly! Respect is given and received! Cozy is likely gone if what you say is true, although you don’t seem bereaved?” I smile at this wonderful and kind zebra, while she holds the joint to her mouth, and inhales, causing the cherry to glow, and I nod while some ash falls off the front, to say, “I already told you Zecora, Cozy Glow is a mystery to me! Just uh, please keep calling me Ophelia, okay?” Zecora simply smiles and nods, as her lungs hold the smoke… (To be continued…) Author's Note *Now introducing Rowan, the reformed genderqueer super-villain living inside Ophelia’s head! Chapter 7: The Rest of EquestriaAm I really Cozy Glow? In breath… Out breath… If I’m not Cozy, then where did she go? Golly, I just can’t remember anymore! In breath… Out breath… If Cozy isn’t here, then who am I? My name is Ophelia… In breath… Out breath… Okay, but if I’m not Cozy, just where the hay did I come from? Gee, you know, this doesn’t make a lot of sense! I open my eyes to find myself on Zecora’s plush red meditation pillow with it’s yellow threading, on her darker red yoga mat… I managed to get my hind legs to cross, after I worked with them a bit! But now, it’s time to come undone… Was I always here in this body, and just asleep? I wonder as I use my forehooves to undo my hind hooves… Is that why Cozy tried to do all of those awful things? Because I wasn’t there? Am I a good filly now? I stand on all fours, in front of the pillow, and take a DEEP breath in through my nose, before opening my mouth, and releasing my diaphragm to begin forcing the air out slowly, and as the wind passes through my body, I reach a new stability within myself… I smile when I realize that it truly doesn’t matter… None of it really does anymore… I hear a knock on the other side of the wooden door in front of me, and I hear Zecora’s muffled voice, “Are you done yet, child? Dinner is ready, and mine is hot, while yours is mild!” I smile at the door, knowing there’s a caring zebra behind it, and yell, “Yeah, I’m done meditating now, Zecora!” <*****> I stare down at the plate, “Wait, so this is vegetable lo mein?” Zecora smiles and nods, “Yes young one! Lo mein is tasty for sure! But you’ll want sauce, and so there’s some soy there to allure!” I nod, “Thank you so much, Zecora! And hey, I was just meditating and um, I don’t think Cozy is here anymore, if that makes any sense? I mean, “I blink, “I think it’s just me now?” and stare up at her, “My name is Ophelia… “ She nods, “It is good that you have discovered the oneness within you! But that still leaves the question of when you will reveal yourself to Equestria so true? I mean, us alone wouldn’t be enough of a life? Besides, we also wish to avoid strife!” I breathe in and out while the zebra finally takes a bite using the fork in her forehoof… “You think I should talk to other ponies too, huh?” I blink… “I mean, I’m not Cozy Glow, but how would they ever know that?” and close my eyes, “It’s too hard! I don’t think I could ever go back to Ponyville?” I feel a comforting hoof land on my left shoulder, before opening my eyes to see the azure pupils of this wise shaman staring back at me, “Never forget Ophelia, you are not alone!” I stare at her, and while I feel my eyes are wide and trembling, this doesn’t feel the same as before… I say to her with genuine concern, “So, you’ll be with me?” She smiles, “Always, Ophelia! After all, we don’t want them to kill ya!” My mouth trembles with emotion when I begin to think logically again, “Wait! Princess Twilight! Yes!” before staring at her, “Do you know how to get a hold of Princess Twilight Sparkle?” … Wait, why do I know who Twilight Sparkle is? <*****> Dear, Twilight Sparkle Gee, this is so weird for me! I know who you are, and I learned about Cozy Glow, and while I know you’ll recognize my body, uh, you wouldn’t know me… I’m in Cozy Glow’s body, but I don’t know where I came from… I am a different filly, I swear, and I’d very much like to see Equestria and meet the other ponies, but I just don’t think I could ever do that, because of the way I am… Because of the body I’m in, I mean… I really don’t know what to do, but I would very much like to talk to you? Please come to Zecora’s hut and speak with me! Sincerely, Ophelia I finish penning the letter with my mouth and look down at what I wrote… “Now, I will deliver this message to Twilight Sparkle, and we will see what happens, maybe something remarkable?” I hear Zecora speaking behind me, as I sat at stationary… I spit out the blue pen and look behind me on the chair, “Are you sure Twilight will react nicely to this?” Zecora smiles and nods, “You forget Ophelia! It is not your words alone, but mine too, that will reach the ears of the throne!” My eyes widen, “Golly! So when will you take it to her?” Zecora smiles, “I’ll leave tomorrow, early, before the sun rises! That way, the trip will be cool, and won’t be a crisis!” “Oh, golly!” Zecora nods, “But now it is time for bed! I shall roll you a joint for the morning, and I’ll leave before you’re awake!” Oh, golly! I got this habit now! I smile at her, “That sounds swell, Zecora! Don’t worry about me! I can fix my own breakfast with whatever I find!” <******> I lay there in the dark, with my eyes staring up at the ceiling… What if they don’t like me? What if they can’t get over what Cozy Glow did? Oh, golly! I’m just not sure if this is such a great idea? I close my eyes… I breathe and try to think about nothing… To just let my mind drift off to sleep… Suddenly, the overhead lights come on, and I open my eyes to look up from my back, and I see a large purple alicorn standing there! She has a blue mane, decorated with two streaks, one hot pink, and the other lavender… She furrows her eyebrows over her purple eyes before saying, “Cozy Glow! You have been charged with crimes against Equestria, and have been sentenced to petrification!” I turn myself around and stand up on my hooves on the bed, before saying, “Look, I’m not Cozy Glow! I don’t know… “ “Quiet!” She shushes me! “Do you have any final words before I turn you back to stone?” At that point, I yell out the only thing I can! “It wasn’t me! You got the wrong pony! I didn’t do it!” I turn my gaze down, and widen it when I see stone creeping up my hooves, and my body begins to become stone now, bit by bit! I stare up at the smiling alicorn frantically, “I didn’t do it!” <*****> I open my eyes there, in the dark, with cold moisture on my brow and a racing heart! I feel the soft pillow on the right side of my face, as I say to nopony, “Golly! What was that?” before wiping my brow with my forehoof and sitting up on my bed… My hind legs are getting more flexible now! I get to all fours, and launch myself up with my hooves, to begin flapping my wings vigorously, and I turn and fly towards the overhead lights! I’m floating overhead, and after pulling the overhead lamp string overhead, I begin to flap my wings towards the awaiting king-sized joint on the desk! Half now, and half later! I remind myself, and nod! I land onto the worn wooden chair there, and stare at the rolled devil weed there, in it’s white wrapper… I put it in my mouth with my right hoof, while the left collects the squeeze-box style red hoof lighter on the table, and brings it near my snout… I strike it in front of me, and put my eyes on the flame, just like Zecora showed me… I move my face forward a few inches, to inhale, and watch the flame kiss the end of the joint, and it soon begins to glow with a cherry on the front! I lit the joint, just like she showed me! I happily think to myself, while disengaging the lighter! I sure hope Twilight doesn’t turn me back into stone! I remove the smoke from my mouth, and exhale a cloud, as I put the lighter back on the table, and I feel the cannabinoids in my system, beginning to slow down my heart… It’s so weird, but early in the morning like this, all these masks on the walls now seem oddly comforting? Was that Twilight in my dream? I’ve never seen Twilight before! Why would I know what she looks like? Wait a minute… I bring the cigarette to my mouth for another pull, as I begin to wonder how in Equestria I’d know what she looks like? Ash falls out of the burning joint… I soon remove it from my face, and exhale a stream of smoke… Golly, so many things just don’t make sense right now! I stare out the front window of her hut and begin to wonder if I should take a walk? The sun isn’t up, so I should be careful! I’m taking a few drags first, though… I soon taste more herb, as I inhale smoke from the burning joint… <*****> You know, I normally walk to take my time now, but as this forest is right now, I’m not sure flying is such a great idea? I think to myself, while I march down the darkened trail, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I take note of the brown dirt path underhoof, with patches of grass here and there, and so much more grass on either side, with all of the dark, scary trees… I wonder if I’m gonna be attacked? I think to myself out of nowhere, before shaking my head and thinking that’s probably not a good thought! I continue down the trail, towards a distinct running sound I hear in the distance… I wonder if that’s a river? Well, only one way to find out! I continue trotting through the pitch-black path, as my eyes can only make out bits and pieces… I’m pretty sure Zecora was gone, by the time I left the hut? I think to myself, as I witness an opening in the trees and branches ahead… I begin to speed up to not quite a gallop as I really want to know if I’m right! I smile when I see dark water ahead, just beyond the trail and the muddy rocky bank there… Golly! I wonder what else I can find? “I haven’t seen you around here before!” I hear a masculine voice say to me from behind! Relax Ophelia! You haven’t done anything wrong! I think to myself, before turning to see a brown earth pony there, with a long, darker brown mane, and a smile on his face! “Who the hay are you?” He giggles slightly, “Name’s Roger Fetlocks! I live in the woods and don’t see many other ponies! Uh, who are you?” before leaning slightly forward… I smile when I realize that this forest-dweller has likely never heard the name Cozy Glow! “Uh, call me Ophelia! Hey neighbor! Wanna be friends?” (To be continued… ) Chapter 8: Better Than One FriendRoger widens his eyes, which I think are green, in the darkness? “Why, shoot Ophelia! I’d love to have a new friend! Y’know, I don’t have many!” My eyes widen, “I guess that makes two of us! Hey, you know, you really shouldn’t be wandering through the forest in the dark like this!” I notice his muzzle shadows change as he grins, “Are you kiddin’? I do just fine, here in the Everfree! Well,“ his eyes go to the clouds, “ mostly? You don’t wanna head east right now, trust me!” before he furrows his brows at me, “Besides, yer just a filly! If anypony around here needs to be safer, it’s you!” My eyes widen, “Okay, you got me there!” “So uh, when did you make it to these here woods?” “Uh, a couple of days ago! You’ve lived here by yourself, your whole life?” Roger sighs, “Well, more or less? Until about twenty years ago, I also had my mother… “ I frown, “What happened to her?” He adjusts his view to me, “She died! Now, I am alone!” before bringing his eyes up again, “Well, mostly?” and then back at me, “You’re here now!” “Golly, so you’re just by yourself, the whole time?” He nods, “Yup! I’ve learned to rely on myself, by this point! I mean, it’s really all I got!” My eyes widen when I have a sudden realization, “Roger, do you know where Zecora lives?” He gazes at me, “Uh, as a matter of fact, I do know Zecora! I don’t see her much, though!” “I live with Zecora… If you need somepony for ANYTHING, you go to Zecora’s house, and ask for Ophelia, okay?” His eyes widen, “Aw, shucks! You don’t need to…” I cut him off! “Yes, I do Roger! Nopony deserves to be all alone!” before wondering about the words I’m saying? He stares at me intently, “Uh, alright Ophelia! Next time somethin’ comes up, I’ll be sure ta give ya a holler! But uh, “his eyes dart behind me, towards the rising sun, “I REALLY need to git to the fishin’ hole, filly! I’ll see you around!” before nodding at me, and trotting around me, to trot the opposite direction I was heading… I breathe again, in and out… Golly! Being all alone must be hard! Another bizarre thought strikes my mind, and I continue trotting south… There’s something I want to see… <*****> I walk through the dirt roads leading south into Ponyville… It’s really early in the morning, and the sun is not out… I gaze at all the darkened alleyways, and pathways that lead around the various buildings… I just keep wondering about other ponies? Could they ever accept me? I trot further towards the center of town, and I see the School of Friendship on the left as I pass, heading south… I see the large wall-like structure, knowing that various classrooms are behind those windows, where ponies and various other creatures learn about togetherness and bonding… Why do I know that? I blink and wonder for a second. Rowan? Are you asleep? I think to myself… I only hear silence in my mind… Suddenly, I see the sun just now beginning to peak out to my left, past the school, as I trot further down the wide dirt paths into town… That’s when I first saw it in the distance… I saw the bright yellow star shaped sign for Sugarcube Corner! It was more of an oval than a typical star, and had three points on the top and bottom, and two points on either side… It had the words SUGARCUBE CORNER stenciled on the front in bright purple lettering… I don’t know why, but I stopped trotting and stared at that happy sign for a moment… And at that point, my mind began to race… I wondered what it must be like to be with other ponies? I wondered what friendship really had to offer me? I then felt water beginning to well in my eyes when I think about how that must not be for me? I’m in a villain’s body! I could never be around other ponies! I wonder what ice cream tastes like? I begin to see more light peaking out from over the rooftops on my left, as I just kept staring at that happy sign… Suddenly, I hear a voice behind me! I don’t even wait to discern what it said! My heart is racing now, and I turn around, and squat to take flight! I think I hear somepony shouting below me, now? I fly over the buildings again, towards the forest! I look down and I see many wooden and stone roofs pass by below, most of them in neat square and rectangular formats… I stare forward again, and widen my eyes, as I begin to flap harder and faster! Is there somepony there? Do they know who I am? What if they know this body? I can’t risk it! I stare down and I see grasslands in the early morning darkness now, before raising my gaze to see the treeline fast approaching! Soon, I’ll be safe again! <*****> I open my wood pannel window from the outside, and climb in, before I hear my hind hooves connect with the floor… TAP! And then, my front hooves! TAP! I turn around and breathe for a moment, as I try to think… The sun is just now rising up, and surely they didn’t see me? What if they travel back here? I decide to smoke the second half of my king joint, just then! Yes, smoking devil weed will help calm my nerves! I think to myself as I begin trotting towards the stationary, where I left the joint… I pick it up from the holder in the glass ashtray, and bring to my snout, before clamping my lips on it, and reaching towards my trusty red hoof lighter! My eyes begin to adjust to the moonlight, illuminating the room, and I can now make out my desk, and my bed in the corner there, with the blankets thrown over to one side… Here comes relief! I think to myself, as I strike the lighter before me, and lean forward slowly, as I was trained… I soon inhale to bring the flame to the end, where it ignites the exposed weed there, along with the surrounding paper to form a burning cherry… I disengage the lighter as a couple of embers fly off the front of the joint to go out in the air in front of me, and I set the lighter back down, before removing the joint from my mouth and exhaling an almost invisible stream of smoke, into the darkened room… Suddenly, I hear a voice coming from the outside of my room… It sounds feminine, although I’m not sure I know who it is? “You say, she’s back here, Zecora? The strange new voice says… “That is correct, she is there! Although I doubt that she’s awake and aware!” My eyes widen, when I begin to become curious as to what they’re talking about? “And you’re SURE she isn’t really Cozy Glow, just trying to trick you?” “Yes, I know it sounds strange! But I assure you, she doesn’t have Cozy’s range! She isn’t a bad filly, and I’ve been teaching her meditation, so she can gain control, and not be silly!” Suddenly, my door opens up and I see a tall purple alicorn standing there! I notice the pull-chain of the overhead lamp glow, and the light turns on, to reveal me, a pink pegasus filly, with a burning roach in my right forehoof! I widen my eyes to her and say the obvious! “Oh, golly! A purple alicorn! Hi, mysterious purple alicorn!” She widens her own violet gaze, underneath her long blue mane, sporting two highlight streaks, before stuttering, “Uh, y-you’re smoking a joint!” I exhale smoke between us, and nod, “Yes! Yes I am indeed, smoking a joint!” before bring it to my mouth for another pull… I’m gonna get all I can out of this! “Why are you smoking a joint?” I take the mostly smoked roach out of my lips and exhale smoke again, “World’s just full of mysteries, huh?” Suddenly, I hear a familiar chanting voice behind her say, “I know it appears to be Cozy Glow without her curls! But this is no ordinary filly, as any conversation will unfurl!” Twilight gazes at me carefully, while I take another drag… “Is that so? Well, I know I legalized devil weed earlier, but Cozy er, Ophelia here is not of age!” I widen my eyes while holding the roach to my mouth and inhale as much as I can, before the flame peters out at the end of the cardboard joint tip… I stare at the frowning alicorn with my lungs now full of smoke… I gently move my forehoof to the glass ashtray to release the paper wrapped cardboard tip there, as I exhale a big cloud of smoke, towards Twilight Sparkle who now squints at me… She shakes her head, “Okay uh, dope smoking aside, you realize that your presence raises a lot of questions, right Ophelia?” I stare at Twilight in a sort of daze right now… “Golly, you don’t say?” She nods, “Zecora was telling me that you’re not Cozy Glow? Do you have any idea what happened to her?” I grin stupidly, “Funny true story Twilight, since I’m guessing that’s who you are, ” and widen my eyes. “I actually have no idea!” She frowns hard at this point, “Well, you’re right about me being Twilight, although I’m still not sure I should trust you?” My eyes widen, “Oh, Twilight, I really think you should!” Her eyebrow raises, “What?” I smile and nod, “Yes, Twilight, you should trust me, and I’ll tell you why! You see, I didn’t HAVE to write to you! I didn’t NEED to contact anypony, about me living up here, safely in the Everfree Forest!” Her brow normalizes, and muzzle frowns again, “So why did you contact me, Cozy er, Ophelia?” “Would you believe, I’m lonely?” Her violet eyes widen, when I think the Princess of Friendship smells an opportunity? “Wait! You’re lonely? Well, “her eyes dart to the side, “there is ONE solution I know of, to loneliness?” before back to me, and I notice the enormous GRIN forming on her face… “Are we gonna be friends now?” Her eyes widen to me, “What? Uh, “before going to the ceiling, “I don’t know? Maybe?” before back to me, “You seem like a pretty clever filly?” I stare carefully at this large purple pony and as the drugs begin to take hold of my system, I realize that I could probably turn this conversation around to my advantage? I then begin to think that I may have made more than one friend today? (To be continued… ) Chapter 9: When I Emerged...The enormous purple alicorn stares at me carefully, “So, what exactly do you know about friendship?” I widen my eyes, still in a half-daze from what I just smoked, “Oh, golly! What’s to know? It’s about two ponies, working together towards a common goal and getting along and being happy, and stuff, right?” before grinning widely at her… She stares at me blankly, and flatly states, “Well, it’s a start! What has Zecora been teaching you?” “Oh, lots of stuff!” Her eyes widen, “Like what?” “She taught me to go back to my breathing whenever I’m stressed out or flustered! She also taught me that while the world may be scary at points, not everypony is bad!” Her eyes widen, “Wait! Bad? Why would ponies be bad?” I frown, “Well, they normally just hurt you! That’s why the best policy is to hurt them first and betray them, before they can to it to you!” Wait, what? What am I talking about? She frowns, “You don’t need to betray ponies, Ophelia!” My eyes enlarge again, “I don’t?” A small smile forms on her face, “Well, Ophelia, how would you like to study friendship with me? I could give you lessons? You don’t have to reform alone!” “Uh, I’m not Cozy Glow, though?” She nods, “Well, be that as it may, you really don’t need to go into Equestria thinking you need to betray ponies!” before her eyes widen. “You need me!” “I do?” She thinks she’s so clever, trying to lead me! She nods again, “Nope! You got me now! I’ll teach you about friendship Ophelia! Me, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship!” I stare at this purple pony carefully and ponder to myself, This is probably the best way to becoming accepted in society again? “Oh, golly gee, Twilight Sparkle! That sure sounds like fun!” She continues staring at me and flatly states, “I still can’t get over how much like Cozy Glow, you are, and I can’t shake this feeling that something is amiss… “ before lowering her head, and forcing her horn to glow purple, and a beam then shoots out and strikes me! I’m enveloped in a violet glow with wide eyes as I shout at her, “Hey, what gives?” She smiles, “That’s a little insurance policy, Ophelia! If you are ever around any powerful magic, I’ll know about it!” I stare at her and say, “Oh, golly!” when suddenly, I hear the words, Sorry Ophelia! I was asleep! I sleep a lot! Uh, what just happened? She nods, “Right! And I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to give you a lesson, as soon as I’m done with some other royal duties I need to attend! Until that point, you are to remain in this house, is that understood?” I frown, “I think so?” She lowers her head again, and forces her horn to glow purple again, before it zaps me with violet energy! I widen my eyes, “What now?” She raises her head and smiles, “There! You cannot leave this house now! Ophelia, since that’s your new name.You are hereby placed under house arrest, and I will be back to check on you tomorrow afternoon! Is that clear?” “Um, okay!” You know, that really wouldn’t stop me! I hear Rowan say in my mind. That’s not the point! I say back, before smiling at the alicorn, and wondering if Zecora wants to fire up after this? “Got it Princess Twilight Sparkle!” She sighs, and says, “Just call me Twilight, please! If we are to be friends, there’s no need to formalities!” before rolling her eyes, “Oh, look at the way I’m talking! Uh, Ophelia, would you like a hug?” And at that point, time stood still for me… Hug her! That way, she’ll be of more use to us, later! What? No! She’s the enemy! Uh, right? I begin to wonder how much the strange voice has influenced the filly who was here before, before trotting forward, and being embraced by this large alicorn in a big loving hug! “I’m gonna die!” I squeak out, while being held firmly in her hooves. And as the alicorn lifts me, I see a smiling zebra with a Mohawk behind her, and I suddenly wonder if this was all an elaborate setup? They’re just playing you, you know? “I don’t trust you!” I flatly state while being held in her hooves… “That’s okay, Ophelia! You don’t have to, just yet! You’re in good hooves though, so don’t worry about it!” She says to me reassuringly… “I’m scared!” I say, before wondering why I did it? “That’s okay too, Ophelia… I’m here for you… “ Golly! It’s like she doesn’t understand that it’s her that scares me? I finally crack a smile, and matter-of-factly state, “That’s nice!” I wonder how she’s going to kill me? I’m still not sure I trust her completely just yet, although being her student would give us more opportunities for advancement… Wait, Rowan? Is that you, or? Is it me? Why do I think like this? I don’t know… Twilight smiles kindly as she sets me down and gently pats my head, almost in a motherly way. She looks me over for a moment, before speaking up again, “Ophelia, can I ask you something personal?” I widen my eyes, “Uh, if you want?” Better be ready to lie again… Wait… She sighs and smiles down at me, “Precisely how did you emerge, Ophelia? What I mean is, why isn’t Cozy Glow in there now? Where did you come from?” I can only frown and giggle somewhat, “I don’t know, okay?” Her smile and gaze both lowers, “So tell me Ophelia, what do you know?” I stare up at her, and once again, despite my better judgment, I tell her the truth! “Not a lot! I opened my eyes and I was on a brightly lit concrete platform, standing there in the hot midday sun! For some reason, I didn’t feel safe, and well, I saw this blue pony, and so I flew away! I flew up north into the Everfree Forest, and uh, that’s where I met Zecora!” She frowns, “Ophelia, why don’t you feel safe?” I frown, “Well, other ponies are almost always bad news! I mean, sure they can help me and get me stuff when I ask really nicely, but they’re usually up to no good… “ Her eyes widen, “Uh, when exactly did you start thinking this way, Ophelia?” I raise my gaze to the ceiling, “You know, I’m not sure about that either?” before bringing it back to her, “That’s another thing that sucks about not remembering stuff! I really don’t know anymore!” She brings her hoof to her snout while lowering her face, “Ugh!” before bringing it back down to gaze at me, “Well Ophelia, that too, is not your fault!” “It’s not?” Her eyes widen, “No! Why would it be?” “I don’t know?” We must move carefully and secretly… I hear the voice in my head chime in… I should probably talk to them later? She sighs again, “Well, I must now take my leave of you filly! Do your best, and if you’re not sure if anything is right or ethical, ask Zecora, okay?” I smile, and gaze at her blankly, “You got it!” Her tall body is soon enveloped in a purple glow, similar to the one that zapped me earlier, and her body and the glow soon disappear to reveal a zebra behind it, with a Mohawk mane-cut and a grin on her face… What just happened, must make her happy? A look at her and say the one thing that’s been on my mind for awhile now… “Hey, can we eat something? I’m hungry!” <*****> Zecora smiles at me from her side of the table, and I see the sunlight coming from her big patio window outback at her shed, as it glimmers off her golden neck rings and enormous hoop earrings, and says, “So, now that you are Twilight’s student, your position has changed! But I must wonder, are you entirely sane?” I stare at her and bluntly state, “I don’t know?” I gaze at this kind zebra, as she says, “That’s okay too, young foal! I will teach you to be better! It will be good for your soul!” Why does that irritate me? I widen my eyes, “What?” She nods, “Yes, I will teach you yoga and meditation now, on top of Twilight! You will be an entirely new filly, and will finally see the light… Does she not know who I am? “Oh, golly!” I flatly state, before I use my forehooves to pick up a carrot from the dinner she prepared for us… I really don’t want to talk anymore… “Are you alright Ophelia? You’re not eating very fast, and your food usually doesn’t last.” I stare at her and say, “Uh, Zecora! I’m not hungry anymore! Can I uh, can I um, please go to bed now?” and smile at her timidly… She frowns, “It is still quite early young one! But if you believe you’ve had enough, go ahead and end the fun!” I then say something weird! “Uh, Z-Zecora! Can I have a hug, please?” She smiles, “Of course Ophelia! You are always supported and loved! If you need reminding, then we’ll give it a shove!” before disembarking from her chair, and beginning to trot around the oval shaped table, from the far side on the left… CLIP… CLOP… CLIP… CLOP… She approaches me, and I see her body grow bigger, before lifting herself up on her hind legs, to embrace me in a warm hug! My eyes widen! “I forget that you zebras can do that!” before timidly returning the embrace with my own two hooves… <*****> I closed the window drapes, because the sun was still shining on my bed… I hate having a southern exposure! I stare up at the thatched ceiling, as I lie there in my tiny room, and just breathed and thought… In breath… Do I entirely trust Zecora? Well, she hasn’t given me any indication that she’s bad yet, right? Out breath... Then why do I keep thinking she’s going to hurt me? I close my eyes and breathe again… In breath… Twilight might also be bad? Oh, golly! Why am I talking to them? Out breath… I REALLY don’t want to think anymore… I just want sleep now… In breath… Out breath… <*****> I raise my view from the bed, to see a pink pegasus filly standing there, with her little wings at her side, neatly arranged bluish-white curls in her mane, and a smirk on her freckled face, under the glow of my ceiling lamp! She’s just barely in front of my door… “Hello again, Ophelia!” My neck has my face propped her direction, “Hello again, Rowan!” She frowns, “Wait! Who’s Rowan?” I widen my eyes with this new bit of information! “Uh, never mind!”If that’s not Rowan, then that could only mean… “Cozy Glow, is it?” She grumpily retorts, “Well, I’m not Rowan, whoever that is?” I realize this is my chance! “Why aren’t you in charge anymore? And just where did I come from, anyway?” She smiles widely… “Do you really wanna know?” (To be continued… ) Chapter 10: The Ideal FillyI nod laying on the bed, “Um, yeah!” before blinking at the other pink pegasus filly, “I mean uh, yes! I want to know where I came from!” Cozy sighs, and stares at me carefully, “You know, I thought I killed you!” I frown, “What?” Cozy smiles and chuckles, “Yeah, I tied you up and threw you into a ravine! You seriously don’t remember that?” I’m flabbergasted, “Why did you try to kill me?” Her eyes widen, as she leans closer, “So you wouldn’t get in the way! Duh!” I look over to my round nightstand, and use my hoof to slide over my metal box… “Uh, what are you doing?” She asks me. “Don’t worry about it! I’m just rolling something! So uh, why am I in charge now?” I say, as I lift my body up with my forehoof, to sit on my haunches in front of the table. She’s silent as I open the top latch, flip the top over, and use the clefts of my hooves to fetch a red pack of rolling papers and a plastic baggy, containing many green fluffy buds… After getting my implements on the nightstand, where I can work with them, I stare over at the silent pegasus filly, and ask her, “Well?” She stares at me with wide open brown eyes, and a straight face… “Do you really wanna know?” I get out a nugget of herb, and proceed to hoof-grind it on the table, and she says, “Well, yeah! Kinda!” while I watch the process… “I didn’t want to do it anymore, Ophelia… “ I see the weed nugget being crushed and ground underneath my hoof… “What?” “I didn’t want to live anymore, Ophelia… So I stayed asleep… “ I collect a white rolling paper, and put it on the table, sticky side up, and start moving bits of green stuff onto it, “You know, that still doesn’t explain where I came from!” “Y-yeah! I’m not exactly sure about that, either? I guess it was because I didn’t go in there, they naturally threw in the only other pony available, ipso facto, you took charge!” I look up to see her blink in confusion, “Well, that’s probably what happened!” As I lift the paper taco to my snout to lick it, I say to her, “So you really don’t know, huh?” She blinks again, “Well, no! Not really! Uh,” she adjusts her gaze to me, “Ophelia! Are you rolling a joint?” “Kinda!” I reply, before licking the sticky side, and rolling the joint up from the bottom, and twisting with my hoof cleft, to make it extra tight… “I never smoked dope!” I lick the cigarette, and stick one end into my mouth, “You know, things change!” before reaching towards my nightstand for my trusty red hoof lighter! “Oh, golly!” She bleakly says, as I inhale the flame to the end of the joint and soon taste a woody flavor on my tongue… Cozy stares at me with enormous eyes, as I remove the joint from my mouth with my right hoof and exhale a cloud of smoke… “Golly… “ She lowly repeats herself… I stare at her and ask the obvious question, “So Cozy! What now? Why are you here, now?” before bringing the cigarette to my snout for another pull… “I…can’t go away, Ophelia… “ She brings her face closer to me and blinks, “Well, not really!” I exhale a stream of warm smoke, before staring back down at her, “What?” “I can’t die, Ophelia… “ She says, before raising her gaze to me, “Not completely… Not while you’re still alive… “ I exhale another cloud from this particularly satisfying wake n bake session, and stare down at her, “Wait, you want to die?” and then ashing into the tray… She nods, “Y-yes Ophelia! I don’t want to live anymore! My whole life has been awful! I…” before blinking, “remember the orphanage and the way they treated me… I was always fed, and housed in warmness, but it wasn’t real… It wasn’t real warmth, Ophelia… “ I exhale another gust of smoke, before staring down at her again, “Is that why you tried to take over Equestria?” A maniacal grin forms on her face, while I taste more warm herb on my tongue, “YES!” and she stares at me intently, “If love wasn’t real, then what did it matter? I decided that the only way I could ever be happy is if I forced other ponies to be my friends!” and nods… I exhale smoke, and reach down to ash the joint with my hoof again, before turning back to her, “Uh, are you okay Cozy? Do you want to smoke?” “N-no! I think I’ll go back to sleep now… You be careful, okay Ophelia?” She says while intently staring at me… I nod with my lips still on the half-joint, and she turns around to slowly trot towards the door two paces, before she opens it with her forehoof, and she trots outside, before closing the door… I am now alone again… Me and my joint… I exhale another cloud of smoke… <******> I open my eyes… I quickly gaze to my glass ashtray, and I can’t help but notice the half smoked joint there! I feel my mane fall on my back, as I get up to my haunches on the bed… “Golly… I really did smoke this morning… “ I blink, before going to all fours, and flapping my wings, to hover over to the door, and opening it with my hooves, and floating into the foyer beyond… The zebra on the green beanbag chair, just on the far side of the table, suddenly looks up and smiles at me, “I see you are awake, little one! There is morning tea, and herb, so come join the fun!” I widen my eyes as I slowly begin to float towards the blue beanbag chair across from her, “I uh, don’t feel so great, Zecora! I kinda uh… “ Her eyes widen, “Is something wrong, foal? Come tell me, it’s good for your soul!” I stare at her, and wonder just how I’m gonna word this? “I finally met Cozy Glow… “ Her muzzle goes to a frown, “What?” I nod, “She talked to me, in a dream! Uh, except it wasn’t a dream!” Her eyebrow raises, “Do, go on Ophelia? If you indeed, met Cozy Glow, your interactions I’d very much like to know!” I gulp, “She doesn’t want to be alive anymore, Zecora… That’s why I’m here… Because she isn’t… “ “A sad report indeed, but not for loss of hope, for Cozy Glow simply needs a better way to cope!” I frown, “Cope?” She nods, “Mhm! If she could deal better with life, and whatever it gave her, she would not be so wrought with strife! She needs to come to terms with just who and what she is, and through this, acceptance, can peace be what is!” “Golly!” She nods again, “So when you see Cozy Glow again, you will tell her that she simply needs to understand her place, and only then can reality be faced!” “Oh, golly!” I repeat myself… You know, I didn’t really feel much like smoking, but now I kinda wanna burn!" I look up at her, “Zecora! Can we please smoke devil weed, now?” She smiles at me, “In a moment after tea, I shall roll! But first, why not have a cup during the lull? It’s mango hibiscus!” That tea also sounds pretty good, actually! I widen my eyes, “Uh, yes please!” <*****> Once again, I’m laying on the bed, with my hooves and wings at my sides, and staring up at the same darkened thatched ceiling… This bed is a lot more comfortable than it looks… I note in my head… I let out a large audible sigh… I just don’t know what to do? Wait! Am I actually worried about Cozy Glow? I don’t even know Cozy Glow! That can’t be right? I blow the strand of my hair away from my face and stare up at the ceiling again… Rowan? Are you there? Yes, Ophelia? My eyes widen, It’s been like, two days! Where the hay have you been? Y-yes! I know! And I’m sorry about that Ophelia… I whisper, “Just where were you, anyway?” There is silence in my mind… “Well?” I uh, I don’t know, okay? “What do you mean, you don’t know?” Just that! I kinda reappeared later, and I don’t know what happened? I stare up at the ceiling and grumpily whisper, “Great! Cozy wants to die, and Rowan is fading out of existence! I wonder what else is going on?” Ophelia? Are you okay? “I guess Zecora could try to kill me? That could be fun?” Ophelia, you’re kinda going off the deep end! “Well, I guess I could always go take care of myself?” Ophelia, what are you talking about? I get up from the bed, and get to my hooves to begin trotting to my window on the other side of my bed, next to the wall… Ophelia, what are you doing? <*****> I land on my hooves, outside the window, on the side of the hut… I breathe through my mouth… In and out… I begin trotting towards the other trail, as my eyes slowly grow accustomed to the pale moonlight from Luna, overhead… The cool air feels nice on my skin, as I trot in-between the trees, and brush, to walk down the darkened path… CLIP CLOP… Ophelia? Are you there? I keep trotting and I notice the trail abruptly ends about 50 yards ahead of me… Ophelia? What are you doing? The ending grows nearer, as I continue down the path… CLIP CLOP… I finally reach the end, and I stand there on my hooves, gazing at the scenic landscape, Ophelia? What are you thinking about? I think about how nothing makes sense to me anymore… I think about Cozy Glow, who said she didn’t want to live anymore, and I think about what life really means to me… I ponder all these things as I stare off into the abyss of the raging waterfalls below… That’s massive… I probably wouldn’t make it? Ophelia, what are you doing? Please talk to me! I say out loud, “Cozy Glow doesn’t want to live anymore… “ But what about you, Ophelia? What do you want? I close my eyes and say, “I don’t know anymore… I uh, I’m not sure if I ever really did? I don’t know who I am! And I don’t know anything!” You don’t need to jump, you know? We can all be together! Look! I don’t know why I exist, nor do I know who Cozy Glow or you, really are! But this is not the answer! I open my eyes, “How would you know?” The voice is silent for a moment… I know more than you’d think, Ophelia… “Do you now? Do you really know me?” I say, before shaking my head, to begin trotting back to the hut… I know Cozy Glow tried to kill herself… I enlarge my gaze at the massive roaring rapids below, and whisper, “W-what?” Yeah, funny true story! She leapt off the side of a cliff, kinda like what you’re about to do… I see the mists coming from the booming waterfalls below, and whisper back, “What happened?” She pulled up and flew back at the last possible moment… I look down and think about Cozy falling into a valley… Look! Just don’t off yourself, okay Ophelia? You know, that is the ONE SUREFIRE way of making sure this never gets solved, right? I sigh, and turn to begin the trot back home… Ophelia? Are you going to talk to me? I continue to trot home in silence, underneath the dark forest canopy… After the waterfall sound diminishes, I hear crickets in the forest… <*****> That same thatched roof is now overhead, as I stare at it blankly… “I don’t want anything bad to happen to Cozy Glow… “ I quietly mutter to myself… “But who is Cozy Glow? And who am I?” I close my eyes, because I don’t want to think anymore… Why can’t I just be normal, like every other filly? I feel liquid flowing out of my right eye as I drift off... <*****> “Hello again, Ophelia!” I hear a familiar voice say, as the darkness underneath my eyelids grows bright… I open my eyes and prop myself up to see a familiar curly-maned pink pegasus filly standing there, her freckled face and sparkling brown eyes now illuminated by the lamp overhead... I glance to the left towards my wooden round nightstand, before reaching my forehoof there, to snag the roach, still sitting in my ashtray… I scoot around and land on the floor from the bed with three of my hooves, while my left front hoof continues to hold the joint… I stick it in my mouth, and as I reach for the red hoof lighter on the edge of the table, I say, “Now, where were we?” (To be continued… ) Chapter 11: Me, Cozy, and Zecora“You wanna smoke dope, huh?” Cozy says back to me, with large brown eyes. The sides of my mouth go towards my eyes as I utter out the side, “Golly, right I do! You, Rowan, and everypony else, stress me out!” The lighter strikes in front of me, as the pink filly beyond it says, “L-look! I didn’t want to be any trouble, okay?” I inhale to soon taste the warm smoke going down my throat… She frowns, “I guess I should just do my best to stay asleep, while you’re around, huh?” I exhale smoke between us and say, “What are you saying, Cozy? Uh, is Cozy Glow your original name? I’ve been meaning to ask you that.” I clamp on the smoke, while Cozy says to me, “Well, not really, no! My original name is Twinkle Sprinkle! Yeah, funny true story!” and scratches the back of her neck with a forehoof, “I always hated that name!” Her hoof lowers, while I blow smoke, and say, “Well, that’s fine! You can be Cozy Glow, if you don’t wanna be Twinkle Sprinkle! Nopony is stopping you!” I catch my breath… In and out… Cozy says, “Okay, so I’m Cozy Glow.” And I nod, “Right! And apparently, Zecora named me Ophelia…” “This is also true!” “Right… “ And I suddenly realize just how awkward this is, and decide to take another drag of my roach! “So, I guess I’ll go back to sleep now, huh?” I exhale smoke, before staring directly at this filly, and saying, “The buck you will, Cozy! Sit down!” Her eyes widen, “What are you saying?” I blink, “I’m saying that I like you, Cozy Glow! I’m saying, you don’t have to sleep all the time… “ A smile begins to form on her muzzle, “Y-you mean it Ophelia?” “Yes! Now get in here, demon child! I still got a few drags left… ” I say, before grumpily taking another drag off my little roach… Her eyes widen, “Oh, golly! You need to clip that soon!” I look at her, “What?” She smiles, and trots over to my polished wooden square dresser on the side of the room, reaches on the top, and takes off the shiny metal bobby pin, and then trots to me, puts the pin in her mouth, and then reaches her snout towards the roach, being held in my cleft, and I feel a snap feeling there, and she moves her snout back away from me, before staring my direction, and smiling, “There! Now, you can grab that bobby pin and smoke off the roach that way, and you won’t get burned! It’s called clipping the roach!” * I reach towards the pin with my snout, and release my cleft from the roach to grab the pin, and wonder, just where this filly learned about drugs? She grins and giggles, “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe how uptight Chrysalis is, without her morning smoke!” and then begins to smile warmly, all the way… I widen my eyes as I stare at this other filly, and decide to ignore it, before bringing to roach to my mouth, for another draw… She breaths out her snout, before looking at me, “But I never did that… So that makes me wonder why you do?” and her mouth grows small… I close my eyes, before raising my snout towards the ceiling, and exhaling a big cloud of smoke… I then look back down at Cozy, and smile, as I say, “Well, it makes me feel good, and it makes the monsters in my head go away… “ Her eyes widen, “Monsters?” My own gaze enlarges too, “Yeah! Ever since I woke up, I sometimes have these bad feelings, and well, when I’m high, it all goes away… “ “Golly!” I nod, and take my last inhale, as a bit of ash drips off the front of the roach, and then bring the roach to the glass ashtray on the table, and rub it back and forth, so it goes out, while I exhale a final puff of smoke… I decide to leave it there, but make a mental note, for the future.** She frowns, “So what then? You’re just gonna continue getting high?” I narrow my eyes and breathe out deeply out of my snout, “Golly yeah… “ She sighs, “Well, um, I won’t bother you then!” before she turns around… I know I have to stop her now! “Wait, Cozy!” She turns around, and widens her eyes, “Yes, Ophelia?” I gulp, as I think for a second on how to word this? “Why did you try to kill yourself?” Her eyes enlarge all the way, as she frowns again, “What? I never tried to kill myself!” “Rowan said you did!” She furrows her brow, “Just who the hay is Rowan?” “The voice in your head that told you to do bad things… I uh, gave it a name… “ She frowns and stops, as her eyes widen, “Golly! You gave them a name!” I nod, “Yeah, and you jumped off a cliff, remember?” She blinks and I see her shoulders lower slowly, “I uh… I just didn’t see the point, Ophelia… I already told you, remember?” I nod, “Yeah, but you never told me that you actually tried? Is that where you got the idea on how to kill me?” “Y-yeah Ophelia, I’m REALLY sorry about that!” You know, it’s so strange to me, because I don’t really remember any of this… I wonder where I was? “What exactly did you do, Cozy?” She takes a deep breath with her snout, and says, “Well, I kinda tied you up and threw you into a waterfall ravine, just like I said… “ “Was this waterfall inside the Everfree Forest?” She blinks, “Um, how did you know?” “Uh, lucky guess!” I lie… She’s silent, before finally asking me, “You’ve been there, huh?” I sigh, “Well, kinda… It’s really beautiful!” “What were you thinking about?” I stare at this filly carefully… “Do you really wanna know?” Her eyes widen, and she nods, “Well, yeah! I kinda do?” The second wave of what I just smoked suddenly begins to take hold, and as my body grows numb, I say to her, “I was wondering what the whole point was? I was wondering why I am? Why I have all these different voices and ponies in my head, and why you somehow exist separately from me? Like, we’re two different fillies, really, but we’re somehow both here, in this body!” I close my eyes, as I feel a floating feeling begin to form in my mind… “I just wanted to know why?” “Golly, you know, I’m not sure either? But you know, I am real, and I do exist inside you… “ I look at her and breathe out my nose, “Yeah, I know Cozy… That’s why I’m trying to tell you that you belong!” She blinks, “Yeah, uh, what?” I smile, “I accept you, Cozy Glow! And you’re welcome in my life!” “Are you still gonna go by Ophelia?” “Considering what’s attached to your name, I think it’s for the best?” She nods, and trots towards me… I widen my eyes, “What are you doing, Cozy?” Suddenly, she embraces me in a hug! “I love you, Ophelia!” Okay, I did not see that coming! I think to myself, as I carefully return the hug with my own forehooves… <*****> I open my eyes, to feel my forehooves wrapped around my body, as I stare at the thatched ceiling. “I’m hugging myself… “ I matter-of-factly whisper… I release myself, and raise to my haunches on the bed, “Was any of that real?” I turn to look at the ashtray to see there’s a bobby pin sitting in one of the holders, hanging onto a very small bit of resin, wrapped in a burnt paper… “Just what the hay is going on?” I whisper to myself in confusion… I bring my forehoof to my forehead, and feel that it’s kinda warm… “Did I really get high? Who was I talking to? Cozy Glow?” I grimace… “I don’t know who I am anymore?” *** Suddenly, there’s a knock on my wooden door, there in the hut! I look at the door, now with tribal decorations, of a mask and spear, on either side, “Yes?” I don’t hear the voice I expect! “Can I come in?” I hear Cozy, say from the other side… I widen my eyes and frown, “No! I’m awake now! Uh, r-right?” “Ophelia? Are you okay?” I hear Zecora say from the other side, “Ophelia! What are you doing here? And I see you curled your mane and tail! A nice touch, my dear!” I say to myself, “Wait a minute! Oh, golly! Cozy Glow is here, too! She’s talking to Zecora now!” I hear her say, “Oh, golly! A zebra! Didn’t you work at the School of Friendship?” “Yes, this is true! But you know me, don’t you see?” “Oh, golly! Cozy Glow is talking to Zecora!” My body is frozen in place… I begin breathing, I need to go out there! I think to myself! “Uh, yeah, I’ve seen you, but I don’t remember your name!” I take off to fly towards the door! In breath! I grasp the knob with my forehooves, while my hind hooves, press against the other side, and I flap my wings furiously, to open it quickly and I float out into the foyer! Out breath! <*****> I float in the room and turn my neck towards the curly-maned pink pegasus filly on my right, and say, “You’re not Ophelia! I am! You’re Cozy Glow!” The zebra turns to me, floating in the air, and smiles, “I see, my enchantment worked, smooth! Now, I can talk to Cozy Glow too!” The other filly turns her head up towards me, in the air, where I flap my wings to stay afloat, before turning back to Zecora, and then, back between us, to say, “Oh, golly!”**** Zecora smiles, “We all have much to discuss! There is no need to fuss, so come sit down Ophelia… “ I repeat the other filly, “Oh, golly!” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *This is an actual process I use in my habit. However, since I tip most of my joints, I rarely clip them anymore… **Also something I commonly do in my practice. She could burn it off the clip with a lighter, and inhale it from there, or alternatively, she might break it apart over a bowl of pot in a pipe, to give it resin chunks for firepower… Or at least, those are the two things I usually do! ***To be honest, I didn’t plan out any of this, but by this point, I’m pretty sure Ophelia is literally insane? ****Oh, golly! Now there’s two of them! Chapter 12: Ophelia's Magical Twin SisterI timidly float over towards the red beanbag chair, just to the side of Cozy, and across the table from the zebra… I slow my flapping, as I go over that chair, and gently land, to feel the cloth covering on my hind legs and hooves, before I use my forehooves to position them, so I sit cross-legged, like Zecora! Cozy continues to have her butt and hind legs parked on the blue beanbag chair, just to the right of it, and I face the smiling old shaman, as she stares at us both with loving yellow eyes and her earrings glint a golden glow from the sunlight, coming out of the window… * “Now that you are no longer one, I can tell you apart, under the sun!” I turn to her and say, “You’re Cozy Glow!” She turns to me and says, “And you’re Ophelia!” I still don’t know how to approach this? “I have no idea how to talk to you!” And I also can’t believe I actually admitted that! She frowns, “Yeah, it’s like, you’re me, but not me, you know?” before her mouth straightens. “I still can’t believe you smoke dope, now!” I roll my eyes, “Oh, please! Like you never had any bad habits!” She widens her eyes, “Okay, granted! But you’re smoking devil weed!” “And sometimes poison joke!” She nods, “Yeah! That shit! I can’t believe you!” “You did try to kill ponies and take over Equestria, remember?” She blinks with a start… And finally says, “Okay, point taken! Blaze away!” Then, Zecora finally decides to speak, “Had I not known you were both from the same filly, I’d just think you twins, acting silly! You’re sharing of past sins, as entertaining as it is!” Yay! I get to smoke dope! Wait a minute? “Uh, so what now, Zecora?” She nods, “Now, I shall give you a choice! A decision for you two to make! Do you wish to be as one, once more, or stay as two for your sake?” I frown, “You think it would be healthier if we stayed separate, huh?” Cozy says, “Golly!” while gazing at the zebra. She closes her eyes and nods, “Mhm! For you two to have distinction, a little separation is preferable to extinction!” At that point, time stopped for me, while the other filly grew flustered, “Golly dammit! Why is it that EVERYPONY suddenly knows about my suicide attempt, when there was nopony around, when I actually did it?” Zecora turns to Cozy, and as her Mohawk turns, says, “You attempted to end your life? Not surprising, as you cannot get along, without strife!” I point at Cozy with my left hoof, “I was getting along just fine with Cozy, last night!” Cozy still stares at Zecora, and pouts, “Yeah! We were talking and junk!” Zecora remains calm and nods, as if she had expected this sort of response from the us. "Indeed, it is true that you have found moments of peace, between the hours of midnight and noon. But can you maintain this unity, in the face of your past mistakes, so soon?" Cozy lowers her head and looks down at the floor, clearly uncomfortable with the mention of her past actions. I note this in my periphery, while keeping my gaze at Zecora, “You know, I’m still not even sure how long I was actually frozen in stone for?” She turns to me, and matter-of-factly states, “Twenty-seven years… “** I widen my eyes, “Golly!” Cozy stares at Zecora, “So, wait! Everypony I knew is all old, now!” The shaman’s eyes widen, “Well, twenty-seven years will change a pony quite a bit, this is true! But there doesn’t appear to be much age, on you!” Cozy blinks, and scowls, “Well, duh! Of course, I didn’t age! I was trapped in stone! Ugh!” and closes her eyes, while cringing in frustration. But I see the wisdom in Zecora’s words and turn to say, “No, Cozy! Don’t you see? We’re still pretty young! We got our whole lives ahead of us! That’s the one good thing of being trapped in stone!” She stares at me, “And there’s two of us, now!” She turns to me, “Well, I guess that’s true?” I gaze at her carefully, and consider just who she is… “Cozy, does this mean, you’re gonna try to manipulate me?” She frowns at me, “Doubt it would work, really? I mean, you were the good parts, after all!” I frown, “What do you mean?” She sighs, “Well, I thought you were the good parts of the pink filly we were both in, so I kinda tried to kill you earlier!” My eyes widen, “But that didn’t work, did it?” She stares up at me, “No, not really! So then, I tried to kill myself!” *** “But that also failed!” She narrows her eyes at me, as her mouth grows small, “Well, duh!” “Wait! That doesn’t make any sense! You went down the waterfall, before I did!” Cozy nods, “Well, yeah! But do you honestly believe that was the first time I tried to kill myself?” I frown, “So, you’ve been trying to off yourself, all this time?” She smiles, “Well, a couple of times!” Zecora finally interjects, “But that was when you were one, but now that you are two, you can have more fun!” I turn to her, “Yeah, now we’re separate fillies!” Zecora smiles and nods, “Yes, you are now two! But you can go back to a single filly, if it does not suite you!” Cozy asks her, “Does this mean we can join as one, or split, whenever we want?” I add, “That would be cool!” Zecora turns to face her, and smiles, “Not quite, little one! If you go back, it’s permanent, and not just for fun!” I turn to Cozy, “So we’re separate, unless we decide to become one again, but if we do, that’s permanent!” Her brown eyes widen, “Golly!” I frown, “Since you’re no longer in this body, I’m gonna go smoke a joint, now!” Her eyes widen, “Wait! Which one of us has the voice?” My own gaze enlarges, “You mean, Rowan?” “Yeah, I mean, does he just talk to both of us now, or is there separate Rowans?” Suddenly, I hear a familiar unisex voice in my head, I can hear you, you know! And actually, ever since Sombra created me, I can go to certain heads and talk to them! Since Cozy Glow is from you, I can talk to her, as well! I frown, “Wait! Sombra created you?” Cozy widens her eyes, “What? Sombra? Who are you talking to?” Yes, I was free, after Sombra was banished, and I saw how persuasive Cozy Glow was at the orphanage, and decided to speak with her, and get her to take over Equestria! “What made you think Cozy Glow could do it, though?” Cozy furrows her brow, and says sharply, “I’m right here, you know!” I lift my right hoof, “No, it’s Rowan! Sombra created them to try to take over Equestria! They found us at the orphanage, and thought they could use us!” And I would’ve have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling ponies! Cozy’s eyes widen, “Golly!” Zecora interjects, “Forgive me for being so bold, but I believe you’re talking about something I was never told?” I stare at the old shaman, and time stops… Do I tell her about Rowan? Will she think I’m insane? I say, “When me and Cozy were one, a voice tried to get us to take over Equestria, using the power of manipulation!” Cozy stares at her and adds, “Yeah, and this filly over here named the voice Rowan!” The zebra frowns, “But now you are no longer under their control, and can do as you please, but they are yet free?” I blink, and nod, “Um, y-yeah! We can both hear Rowan! I uh, I think?” Cozy blinks, “How would I know?” Zecora nods and smiles, “Know this, young fillies! Through no force of arms, could a voice ever make you do as they say! As such, just follow your own moral compass, to light the way!” I smile at the wise old shaman, “Of course! It doesn’t matter what they say! Only what we do!” Cozy stares at me, “That’s another good point! Rowan never made me do those things! I uh, golly, I’m really sorry about that!” before widening her eyes… She frowns, “Wait… I uh, I did those things, huh? I tried to kill Fluttershy!” I smile at the nervous pink filly, “Cozy Glow, it’s okay now… You’re here with me, and you’re safe… “ and then, I lean towards her to do the unthinkable… I hug her! I whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, Cozy… I’m here for you! You’re not alone!” Cozy half-smiles as she begins to giggle, before gently raising her hooves about halfway up my body to return the hug… “My magical twin sister!” Zecora speaks up, “I shall begin preparing Cozy’s room, quickly, and she shall have a desk, table, and chair, with bed, so she won’t be cold and sickly!” I release the other filly and turn to widen my eyes at the zebra, “You know, this shack is a lot bigger than it looks!” <*****> I finally get to taste precious weed on my tongue, as I inhale from the joint, held in the cleft of my right hoof… Suddenly, I feel it wash over me, and my shoulders fall, as my body begins to relax… I narrow my eyes in satisfaction, before bringing the joint to the glass ashtray on my right, and flicking to release the excess… Golly, shit! I have a sister now! I think to myself, before bringing the joint to my lips, once more, for another drag… She better not stress me out! I think to myself, while tasting weed go down my throat… Suddenly, there’s a knock on my door! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I take out the stoge, exhale smoke, and look at the door to say, “Yes, Zecora?” I hear a feminine squeaky voice on the other side say, “I-it’s me, Ophelia! Can I come in, please?” I widen my eyes! What the? “Uh, come on in, Cozy!” I say, before taking another hit… Stupid filly, interrupting my smoke time! The door opens, and I see a somber young pink filly trot in, with sunken eyes, a deep frown on her face, and a shake in her voice, as she humbly asks me, “Um, Ophelia? C-could you please sleep in my room tonight, with me? I’m scared… “ You know, I really did not see that coming! I smile, “Why don’t you stay in here, with me, Cozy? You might feel safer?” She frowns, “In the room that smells like devil weed?” I smile like a maniac, and nod, “Yup!” before staring at her, while taking another drag… “Ugh!” She cringes, and rolls her eyes, before bringing them to me, “FINE! We’ll stay in the dope room!” Yay! I won! Uh, what did I just say? (To be continued… ) Author's Note *If Cozy were to cross her left hind hoof, over her left, and stick her tongue out her mouth, she would be sitting in the Lion’s Breath pose, that I do for my throat chakra sometimes, in yoga… Aka Simhasana. **There’s a reason I chose twenty-seven years… I call it the “10,000 day curse” in my head… ***These are actual confessions by me, in a way. Chapter 13: Beyond Good and EvilI’m not alone in bed, right now… My eyes are closed, but I can feel the warmth of the other filly, sleeping behind me… She seemed kind of worried? Wait, if she’s the bad parts of us, does that mean she’s evil? And now, she’s sleeping behind me… Why do I trust her, so quickly and easily? Is she my… My sister now? We’re both from the same filly! And then, she squeaks out the unthinkable… “I love you, Ophelia!” She tried to kill me, you know… … Stupid idiot… “I love you too, Cozy!” Then, she does something far more terrifying… She gets close to me and snuggles me! I feel her hoof going over my body as I ask, “What are you doing, Cozy?” I feel the legs clamp on me, as she embraces me in a loving hug… … I am now trapped with the other filly… Golly shit! I think to myself, in my brain… And it’s only then that I suddenly notice the 12-foot tall, smiling purple alicorn staring at us both, from the center of the room! “Uh, Cozy! We’re being watched!” She mumbles back, “Tell them to go away! I want more snuggles!” Golly dammit! This is horrible! I should say something to break this! “Princess Twilight! Fancy seeing you here!” Okay, that could’ve been said better… “You two are ADORABLE!!!!” The alicorn gushes! I hear Cozy behind me, “Ten more minutes! Ugh… “ Makes me wonder what she was like earlier? “Um, that’s fine! I wanted to speak more with Zecora, anyway! Just come out, whenever you’re ready! Snuggle away, fillies!” The alicorn says, before vanishing in a purple flash! I blankly stare at the wall, away from the bed, “I want a joint!” “I need to pee!” The filly says, from behind me, before giving me an affectionate squeeze! So, Twilight knows now! Wait, what exactly does she know? <*****> I ponder to myself, as I sit on the stool, and bring the burning joint to my mouth, for a pull… I taste weed as I hear Cozy squeaking back to Twilight… I wonder what Twilight is saying back, as I hear her muffled speech, from behind the door… Eventually, I exhale a big puff of smoke… Right as the door opens, I suddenly see the same purple alicorn from earlier, with a big grin on her face, “Alright Ophelia! Cozy Glow here is on house arrest and not permitted to see other ponies, until we know more about her! You’re in charge, and uh,” she lifts her snout to sniff the air, before looking down on me, as I take another hit, “Are you smoking devil weed, again?” I exhale smoke again, and stare at her, “No! It’s just an amazing simulation!” and then, bring the joint to my mouth, for another drag… She cringes, and rolls her eyes, “Ugh! One is a villain, and the other is a junkie!” before staring back at me, “Still, you and Zecora probably have the best shot of reforming Cozy Glow!” I nod, “Well, I do love and care about her, you know!” Did I actually mean that? I wonder, before taking another drag of the half-joint… Twilight’s eyebrow raises, as she considers me carefully, “Do you, now? Well, she did say that you were the good parts, of her… “ before starting, “Which could only mean that Cozy out there, must be evil!” I exhale smoke to the side, before gazing at her, “You don’t know that for sure, you know?” Twilight lowers her view, “What do you mean?” “I’m saying, we only think that she’s evil, and that I’m good, just based on what? Her speculation? The world could be a lot more complex, you realize!” She frowns, while I inhale smoke, “Uh, Ophelia, you bring up a very good point, actually!” I exhale smoke between the two of us, as I lower my shoulders, and say, “See? I know stuff, too!” Suddenly, we both hear a squeaky voice from behind the door shout, “I AM TOO, EVIL!” I can’t help but smile at this, while taking another hit from my warm joint… Twilight turns and says, “No, Cozy! Don’t you see? This means that you won’t need to be turned to stone, again! It means that we might be able to reform you, after all!” I exhale smoke and stare at the door behind the princess, “She’s got a good point, you know! You really should take the deal!” The voice is silent… Before finally saying, “I-I’m not evil?” Twilight says, “Not if you don’t want to be, Cozy! You can choose to be good! You can make the right choice!” The voice is silent again… “Can I come in?” I lower my view, exhale smoke, and say, “Yeah, come on in little filly! The more, the merrier!” before turning to right and moving my forehoof that direct, to ash my joint in the glass ashtray… The door opens, and both me and Twilight behold a tiny curly maned pink filly, who sniffs the air, and asks me, “Ophelia! Have you been smoking in here?” I widen my eyes, “No, not at all! I’d never smoke!” I say, before bringing the joint to my snout again… She shakes her head, and says, “Oh, of course!” before trotting in and staring at Twilight, “If I’m not evil, why did I try to kill her?” before pointing at me with her right wing… Twilight calmly states, “Because you were confused, Cozy! But the thing is, you can’t kill parts of yourself! Not without killing yourself in the process!” Cozy gazes up at her carefully, “So, no matter how bad she got hurt, she could never die?” Twilight sighs, and nods, before saying, “That is correct!” Cozy gazes at me with enormous brown eyes! “Oh, golly! I am SO SORRY about that, Ophelia! The pain must have been horrible?” I stare at her blankly, and flatly say, “You know, the thing is, I don’t even remember!” Cozy shakes her head, and says, “N-no, Ophelia! It’s not okay… I want to make it up to you… “ “I uh, I never said it was okay, but truthfully, I’m not even mad!” before taking another drag of that sweet sweet joint in my forehoof! I’m not addicted! I can quit anytime I want… Shut up… Twilight widens her eyes and stares at the curly filly, just beyond the door, “Cozy, do you mean to say that youactuallyfeel legitimate remorse, for your actions?” She blinks, “I uh, I think maybe I do? I think maybe having a sister has changed me? I’m not sure, but I do know that uh… “ and smiles, “I do know that I love Ophelia, very much!” What’s going on here? I silently wonder to myself… I exhale another cloud of smoke, and reach forward to ash into the glass tray, waiting there, with a half-joint waiting in one of the holders, for later, and saying, “You’re an idiot!” before taking another drag… Twilight smiles at me, “Don’t you like the way your sister Cozy Glow, loves you, Ophelia?” I exhale smoke between the two of us, and the alicorn sniffs the smoke, before frowning weirdly, at me, “Yes, of course! I love Cozy Glow! She’s my sister! Why wouldn’t I?” Suddenly, I hear a different voice from behind her chant, “If what you say is true, then you and Cozy could become a pair, for both of you! You shall be considered twins, for that is the best way to secure the win!” Twilight’s eyes widen, “I think what Zecora is trying to say, is that Cozy’s odds of reforming are a LOT better, with you here, dope-smoking, or no!” I furrow my brow at this ignorant alicorn, before a sudden realization washes over my stoned brain, and I lower my shoulders, when I realize that she’s right… Cozy stares at me, “Hey, we should go for a fly together, Ophelia! Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Twilight turns her gaze to the curly filly, “Not so fast! Remember, you’re on house arrest, Cozy Glow!” She sighs, and stares up at Twilight with enormous shaky brown eyes… <*****> I stare at Cozy Glow, standing next to me in the open field, “I still can’t believe she actually agreed to this!” Cozy turns to me, “Well, she put up that HUGE invisible barrier, to keep us from leaving the area!” “Well, right!” I nod, “So I gotta ask, what are you planning, now? Gonna tunnel underneath the dome, so you can escape and cause mayhem, or something?” She frowns at me, “For the good parts of me, you’re sure starting to sound evil!” I furrow my brow, “And that was my point, Cozy Glow! Ideas like good and evil are entirely relative, and can’t be boiled down to just parts of yourself, or whatever! You were never evil, Cozy!” She frowns, “So trying to take over Equestria, and kill and enslave other ponies is now acceptable behavior?” I sigh, and close my eyes, because for a genius filly, she’s pretty dense right now! I open them to her, “No, what I’m saying is that you were just the product of your environment and weren’t really in your right head when you did those things! You gotta admit, Tirek isn’t exactly the most wholesome influence you could’ve had in your life, here!” * Her eyes narrow and frowns, “Great! So now I’m not responsible for my own actions!” I sigh, “Look, Cozy! You were alone, right?” She gazes seemingly beyond me, “W-well, yeah… I was by myself… “ And then I nod, “Tirek was the only pony er, person you really had to talk to, right?” Her mouth straightens, “Well, there were the caretakers at the orphanage?” I look at her, “Oh, please! You and I both know that you could never open up to those ponies! They were only there to do a job, and literally nothing else!” Suddenly, we both hear a large purple alicorn from about 100 yards away in the same field yell at us, “Hey, what’s taking so long?” I turn back to her, “Shut up, Twilight! We’re talking now!” before turning to the other pink filly, “And so, Tirek was the only one who listened, right?” “Y-yeah… But I shouldn’t have listened to him, should I have?” I smile, “Hey, Cozy! I wasn’t even there, but you’re with me now, and we can be sisters, and positive influences on each other, or whatever!” and widen my eyes! “Doesn’t that sound like fun?” She stares at me carefully… “You’re still gonna smoke, aren’t you?” I nod, “Golly right, I am!” She sighs, before ultimately smiling at me, “Yeah… I love you Ophelia! Ready to go for a fly?” I stare up at the tremendous blue sky overhead, “Golly right, I am! Let’s do it!” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *When I mention Tirek here, I’m actually referencing someone from my own past. I will not disclose who, in order to protect the innocent… Chapter 14: Other PoniesI fly in the air, now free again… I feel wind blowing through my long unkempt mane and tail, and as the exhilaration of flight takes hold, I can’t help but smile, and think to myself that I really should do this more often! After the joint, it especially has a good feel! It’s much like earlier, after I woke up, except there’s one change… One difference… I am not alone this time… “Oh, golly!” I hear Cozy exclaim from my right somewhere… I’m no longer by myself… “Hey, can we stop now?” I hear her gasp. I hear Cozy huffing beside me, and I turn my neck to her, “Are you tired?” She gazes forward blankly, and replies, “Y-yeah! I uh, I think I’m out of shape, from being in stone?” Wait! Then I was really doing all the flying earlier? I nod, “Yeah, lets land! Twilight probably wants us back soon, anyway!” <*****> We both land, and I feel the dirt skid under my hooves, as I stop, in the field after landing, and I also see Cozy lurch forward, from momentum, out of the right side of my eyes… I also see the tall smiling purple alicorn, who stares at Cozy and asks, “So, did you enjoy your forty-five minutes in the sky, Cozy?” She stares up at the large pony, “Y-yes ma’am! After being stone, for all that time, it sure was nice to get out and stretch the ol’ wings!” she says, while stretching out her right wing to the side. She frowns, “But weren’t you with Ophelia?” She says, “Well, not really? I was asleep… “ “Asleep?” Twilight appears aghast. Cozy gulps and responds, “Well, yeah… I uh, I didn’t wanna be around anymore… I didn’t like living…” her face cringes, “Everything was just so awful!” Twilight nods, “But what about now, Cozy? You survived everything, and now you have a home, and a sister!” She turns her head to me, and I enlarge my gaze at this peculiar filly who seems to love me, “Yeah… I love Ophelia a whole lot!” I furrow my brow, “Oh, Cozy Glow, don’t get all sappy, now!” Twilight smiles at me, “What’s the matter, Ophelia? Don’t you love your sister?” I stare at the purple pony, “Of course!” before averting my gaze to the pink filly, “Even if she keeps saying sweet things, and getting all emotional, and stuff!” I say, before sticking my tongue out, and squinting! The purple alicorn leans forward, “What’s the matter, Ophelia? Don’t like sappy things?” I feel my cheeks beginning to heat up, as I scrunch my mouth and say, “You’re both jerks, you know that?” Twilight begins to chuckle, while Cozy continues to stare at me blankly in the doorway. I stare at Cozy, “Come on, Cozy! I wanna smoke that other half-joint in my ashtray, now!” Cozy gazes at me, wide-eyed, “Gee, Ophelia! Don’t you think you’ve smoked enough?” I sigh, “Well, ordinarily, yes! But you’re here now, and there’s Twilight! I turn to face the large purple pony, “No offense, but I keep thinking that you’re against me or bad or whatever, and I know it’s not you, or anything you’ve ever done to me!” and nod at the other filly, “Pretty sure it has to do with what you did to her, earlier!” She frowns, “You view me as a potential threat?” I gulp, “Uh, kinda… “ Her eyebrow raises, “And yet, you explicitly say that I froze Cozy Glow in stone, and not you?” I begin to crack a small grin, “Well, you couldn’t have froze me! I wasn’t there!” “Where were you?” “I uh, “ I blink, “I was asleep… I was in the same body, but I was asleep… I didn’t want to be awake… “ Her eyes widen, as she stares at the wall behind me, “Oh, my Celestia!” before she darts them at me, “Do you know what this means?” “That life is overrated?” She sighs, “No, Ophelia! You two NEED each other!” Cozy looks up at her, “We do?” Twilight widens her eyes, while adjusting her gaze to both of us, “Yes, Cozy! You and Ophelia, need each other!” before frowning, as she begins to explain, “You see, without the other, all each of you wants to do is just sleep all the time!” Cozy’s eyes widen, as she frowns, “Golly!” The alicorn nods, “Yes! The only way for either of you to feel complete and whole, is to have the other filly in your life!” I frown myself, “So, I’m kinda required to like Cozy then, huh?” Twilight frowns my direction, “Well, I don’t think I’d quite word it like that?” I look at her, “Then how would you word it?” Her frown lowers, “Well, I’d say that you too help each other live better lives!” I nod, “Yup! Basically required!” Her mouth straightens and she says, “Um, yeah!” While winning was nice, I’m getting a little sick of this, now, “I was gonna smoke a joint, you know? Uh, are you gonna stand there too, Twilight?” I say, as Cozy begins to timidly walk into the room… Twilight widens her eyes, “Oh, right! Junkie filly!” before taking a step to me, and hugging me! “It’s okay, Ophelia! You have to know that you’re not alone!” “EEP! She’s gonna eat me!” I squeal, before timidly hugging the alicorn back… I see the other pink filly smiling at me, from behind the alicorn… Just what the hay is going on, right now? <*****> “This sucks!” I say to nopony, as I stare at the wall, in Cozy’s little room… Cozy turns her head towards me from my right, and says, “What’s wrong Ophelia?” I turn and stare at her, “Well, before, I was alone, and I didn’t care about anypony! Now, I got you and Zecora! And it sucks, because I’m used to it just being me!” Cozy frowns, “I thought you were asleep, before?” I sigh, “Y-yeah… I was asleep, and by myself… No worries, and I was all alone… “ Cozy frowns, “Are you actually saying that you liked it better, when you were asleep?” I widen my eyes, “What? No! Of course not!” Her gaze enlarges too, “Well, what’s the problem?” I sigh, and take my gaze wistfully to the side, “I uh, I don’t like this… There’s just so much caring, now, and it makes me uncomfortable… “ “Ophelia, are you saying you’re anxious? Do you have anxiety?” I blink, “Well, uh, maybe?” I smile, and suddenly think the devil weed kinda makes sense, now! * She frowns, “Golly!” before turning her gaze to me, “Well, I’m sorry Ophelia! I didn’t want to… “ I cut her off, and point my forehoof at her! “Don’t you bucking say it, asshole!” Her eyes widen, as a horrified frown forms on her face, “WHAT?” I nod, and lower my hoof, “You heard me! You DO deserve to be in the world, YOU ARE important, and you DO matter! And I’m not gonna hear you apologize or say your sorry, just for existing, anymore, got it?” I’m scowling at her, and might have a neck vein now? Her mouth gets tiny, “Uh, um, okay Ophelia! I uh, I love you!” My head quivers as I say, “I love you too, Cozy Glow! Wanna hug?” She frowns, “Uh, maybe later?” I sigh and release my face, so the air flies out of my snout, before lowering my head, “I uh, I’m sorry Cozy… “ and raise my gaze to her, “This is just so new, to me, and I’m not sure I like it?” She sighs, and wistfully looks to the side, “Yeah, I know what you mean! I uh,“ and looks up at me, “ why don’t we just get used to caring about each other, a little as we go, huh? That way, if somepony messes up, we can just uh, stop right there, you know? So nothing bad can happen!” and slowly forms a wide grin on her muzzle… “Doesn’t that sound like fun?” You know, I’m half-sure this is another weird attempt to manipulate me, but at the same time, she was just so golly dang cute, I couldn’t help but chuckle, and say, “Yeah, Cozy! That sounds swell!” Her eyes widen, “Uh, wanna hug now, Ophelia?” I grin and chuckle as I hop down from the bed to all fours, and trot towards her, while saying, “Sure Cozy! Let’s hug!” Before she has a chance to react, I reach up towards her, and grasp her in my forehooves for a loving embrace! “I can’t really explain it, Cozy Glow, but I actually do care for you… And that terrifies me… “ “GOLLY!” She manages to squeak out, before timidly returning my embrace… At this point, all I can do is silently giggle to myself at how silly I’ve been acting! “I love you, Ophelia!” “I love you too, Cozy Glow… I honestly do, golly dammit… “ I feel her body begin to quiver, as she begins to chuckle quietly… Suddenly, there’s a knock on her door behind me! She raises her gaze to look over my shoulder, towards her door, “Yeah, hang on! We’ll be out in a little while!” before lowering her face into my floof, to continue returning my hug… She says, “Golly… “ lowly, while continuing to hang onto me… <*****> Zecora calmly takes a sip of tea, from her blue ceramic mug, with her forehoof in the handle, before gently setting the cup down on a saucer, on the table, in the midst of all the multi-colored beanbag chairs, in her foyer, as she smiles, and turns to Cozy Glow, “So, tell me young Cozy! What did you learn?” Cozy stares up at her wide-eyed, “Oh, golly Miss Zecora! I came to realize that um, “ and gulps, “I actually DO care about Ophelia, and that she is important to me!” I add, “Yeah, caring about other ponies, and you, uh, it scares me, Zecora!” She turns to me and frowns, “Oh? Then we shall go slow, Ophelia! Tell me now, so that I know, why does it scare you as you’ve understood, when caring should be more exhilarating and good? I frown, “Because what if something bad should happen to Cozy or you?” I blink, “Caring about other ponies sucks, because I mean, eventually you’ll be gone, and something might happen!” She smiles, and replies, “It is indeed true that all love and caring is temporary, and impermanent! But that’s all the more reason to appreciate it at this moment!” “Golly!” She nods, “Mhm! Now, before you smoke your roach, why don’t we all have some tea for a more amiable approach?” I look down and ask, “Uh, that sounds like fun! Is this mango hibiscus, again?” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Between controlling my anxiety, suicidal depression, and autism, relaxing me, treating my amnesia, and making me not crave alcohol, and nicotine, marijuana is in every sense, the perfect drug for me… Chapter 15: Origins part 1Yummy mango hibiscus! I think to myself, as I held the roach in one hoof, with the lighter under it, and ignited, so the flame danced underneath, to start causing the end to smoke, as it ignites… “Golly!” I hear the other pink filly in the room say. I then bring the roach to my snout, to clamp and inhale, to taste herbal joy on my tongue, finally, after all the ultra-stressful chatting with that purple alicorn! “Are you okay, Ophelia?” I hear Cozy ask… I take the joint out, and exhale smoke and stare at her from 10 feet away, “Yeah, I’m fine! Why?” She frowns, “Well, you seem kinda stressed?” I let out a big sigh and feel my lungs empty, before staring at her, “Cozy… I get nervous! You know that!” “Well, I just wish you wouldn’t smoke so much!” I blink, “Y-yeah… Tell you what Cozy! After this whole Twilight thing, blows over, I’ll cut back! I’ll only uh, use at certain times, okay?” and smile… * She smiles back, dimly, “Okay, Ophelia… That works… “ Yay! I won again! I think to myself, while bringing the burning roach to my snout… “So, when do you think this whole Twilight thing will blow over, anyway?” I exhale warm smoke and feel it exit my lungs, before turning to the other filly, “Oh, golly gee, Cozy Glow! How would I know?” and then I bring the joint to my mouth for another pull! She smiles and giggles, “Oh, yeah! You’re just like me, huh? Well, I love you, Ophelia!” This causes me to cough! COUGH! GAG! CHOKE! I sputter, as the smoke comes pouring out of my snout, and the other filly stares at me with huge brown eyes! “Golly! Are you okay, Ophelia?” I stare up at her, with my snout towards the ground, and watery eyes, “Yeah, I’m fine! Whoa!” She frowns, “The idea of being in the same boat as me, freaks you out?” I stare up at her, with wide watery eyes, “NO!” Her eyes widen, “What’s wrong?” I breathe out of my snout, and feel the wind exit my body, before I stare at her again, and I wipe my eyes with my hoof, “This is all so weird! I mean, I see Twilight as a potential threat, and I know I get that from you!” “Are you sure?” She asks, while I inhale from the partial joint again… I feel the heat in my lungs, before it goes back up my esophagus, and after the smoke is out of my snout, I look at her again, “Well, why else would I see her that way?” before taking another drag… There’s only a little bit, but I’m gonna get all I can from this thing!** Her frown increases, as her eyes grow wider, “Well, she’s a big scary alicorn, that you don’t know!” I exhale a big cloud of smoke, and look at the other filly, “She’s literally the Princess of Friendship! How scary do you think, we can get here?” “She did turn you to stone, you know?” “No! She turned YOU to stone! I wasn’t awake!” And I move my forehoof to my mouth, for another pull… Her gaze raises an inch, “You sure about that?” I cough slightly, as my snout goes up and down, and smoke exits from my mouth, and I look at the floor, while breathing, to compose myself… Breathe in… Breathe out… I raise my gaze to her, before widening my eyes, with the sudden heat on my right forehoof, and I look at the ashtray on the right and move my forehoof over there, to snuff the joint out… Cozy frowns, “Golly! Are you okay, Ophelia?” “Y-yeah… I’m starting to wonder though… “ I say, before turning my gaze back to her, and frowning… Her eyes grow, “About what?” I breathe in and out, again… “I’m starting to wonder just how asleep I really was, in the before-time?”*** “What do you mean?” “I mean, I think that was at least, partially me… I think… “ I raise my body, “I think, I tried to take over Equestria, too!” She blinks, “If that’s the case, then how did we separate?” “I uh… “ I blink too, “I don’t know, okay? It’s like, I was there, but uh, but not, really there… “ Her eyes widen, “You were half awake!” My own gaze enlarges, “What?” Her mouth forms an O, “What I mean is, you were sorta there, but not really!” as her right hoof wiggles in the air. She sets it down, “Your voice, was just one of many in my head!” “And Rowan is also such a voice?” She sighs, “Well, yes and no! I mean, he’s from Sombra, remember?” I smile, “Right! The alien voice, and then, there’s us!” “So the real question now is, when did you become you, and why?” My smile lowers, “I uh, I’m not sure? What do you know about where we were, before we went to The School of Friendship?” Cozy frowns, “Well, I remember I had just escaped that awful orphanage, in Cloudsdayle, and we flew into town… I remember staying with that old earth mare, on the North end! Remember that Ophelia?” I frown again, “No!” She breathes in and out, before looking at me again, “Well, she gave us the cot in her backroom, and we stayed there, until well, that voice showed up… Remember, we didn’t even know about The School of Friendship, until Rowan started talking about it!” My mouth opens, “Oh!” She nods, “Yes, by golly! Then, Rowan started talking to us about Tirek, and saying he could help us…” I frown, “By teaching us the necessary magic!” Cozy gulps, and almost smiles, before saying, “Yup! With that knowledge, and Rowan’s knowledge of the school, it was a simple matter, to get rid of all the pony’s magic, so we could reign as The Empress of Friendship!” I sigh to the side, “But that didn’t work out, huh?” Cozy frowns, “Well uh, no! Not with the Tree of Harmony in place!” Wait, why does Rowan know so much about The School of Friendship?With all of these revelations, I can’t help but stare at her, to ask the burning question in my mind… “Are you glad it turned out, like this Cozy?” She smiles back at me, “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” “W-well, releasing me was pretty painful?” She sighs, “Yeah, that is true! But here’s the thing, Ophelia… If I hadn’t, I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself? We’re sisters, and we need each other… “ My eyes widen, “What do you mean?” She exhales from her nose, and her muzzle forms a half-smile, “Well,” and it goes to a full smile, “ you complete me, I mean… Yeah, we’re kinda related, and I think it’s neat now, because I’m not alone anymore!” I widen my eyes, because nopony has ever told me that they actually need me before, but then again, nopony has ever told me much of anything! I finally widen my eyes to her, “Uh, I gotta meditate now, Cozy! Can I be alone in my room, again?” She smiles, “Of course, Ophelia!” before trotting a few paces to me, and embracing me in her forehooves! “I love you!” <*****> Breathe in…. I feel the oxygen flowing up my nose, and down into my lungs, as my mind finally begins to clear itself. She loves and cares about me as a sister… I think to myself, when I suddenly wonder what she’s reading about in the other room? Just where the hay, was I? Was I real, back then? I feel the air leaving my lungs, as it flows out my nostrils… Nothing makes sense… I don’t know where I came from? I feel the oxygen enter my nostrils again, as I inhale… My lungs expand again… Was I part of her? Is that what really happened? My lungs deflate, as air flows out of my nostrils… I just don’t like that purple alicorn… I think about that wicked looking pony, as more air enters my body through my nostrils… The more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn’t trust her… Who should I trust? I compress my stomach again, to force air out of my nostrils… I open my eyes… “I gotta get out of here!” <*****> I step off the worn wooden porch, out from under the overhanging awning, and onto the dirt below, and feel light bits of grass, on my hooves, as I trot across Zecora’s yard, to reach the trail, beyond the meadow… Yes! That’s a good plan! Go outside, get some air, and clear my noggin! No thinking about where I came from… I suddenly realize that I’m doing it again, and blink my eyes to refresh my mind, as I see the end of the meadow approaching, maybe 30 yards away… Does it really matter, where I came from? I mean, I’m gonna die anyway! Oh, golly! That’s a morbid thought! I see I’m just a few yards away, from the treeline, and a kinda cave takesshape inside heavy wall of wood… Death is The Great Equalizer… I decide to clear my head again, as I march past the trees, and head deeper into the woods, on the light brown dirt trail… It’s not so bad during the day, and I see the rocks and pebbles on the ground, as my hooves glaze them, and I keep trotting… I look up at the cloudy, overcast sky, and I feel the humidity on my skin, as a light breeze blows through the trees, to graze my body… Golly, that wind feels nice! I think to myself, as I begin to trot over the dead grass… Strange that there would be a single patch of dead grass, right here… I think to myself, before the ground underneath gives way, and I tumble and fall into the pit, below! <******> “Hey, there’s a filly down there, man!” I hear a gruff, masculine voice say… I open my eyes, to discover I’m on my back, with my forelegs sprawled over my body, and my hind legs, down at my sides… I move my legs, and I see a clear sky, with a single pony head there, staring back at me… This head is dark green, with a long wisteria purple mane, flowing out on either side of it… “What are you doing down there, little dude?” I widen my eyes at this curious earth pony, “Oh, you know! Just hanging out! Uh, hang on! I’ll fly out!” I flip my body around, and feel the bruise on my right foreleg, as I lift my body up… I crouch, to launch myself in the air, and I feel a pang, in my right wing, that causes me to stop flapping, and my hooves, go clop down in the dirt again! I stare up at the weird pony, “Uh, hey friend! I uh, kinda hurt my wing, and I need to get out another way! Can you uh, maybe lower something, like a rope or vine, that I can grab onto, heh heh!” and smile nervously at this strange pony… His blue eyes widen, “Whoa, yeah, hang on, little dude! I got just the thing!” and his head moves out of view, while his mane flows with his soon hidden head… Oh, golly! (To be continued… ) Author's Note *I’ll only get high during certain times, during “sessions”. The point is to limit and control my use, so I don’t go overboard. THC is a habit, and like any habit, I find it’s necessary to keep it in it’s place. **Speaking of my habits, and tendencies! ***This is really me examining my own psychology… Remember that at one point, “Ophelia” did try to kill me… Several times, actually, but my amnesia prevents me from recalling a lot of details…
Chapter 1: BrightnessIn the beginning, there was nothing… All I remember is just blackness… The void… And my little pink body standing there, surrounded by it all… And then, daylight! It must have been during the afternoon? The sun shone brightly on my body, as I stood there on the concrete platform. Honestly, I couldn’t see so great! The sun was right in my eyes, and I could feel wetness around my cheeks, as if I had been crying, but that wasn’t nearly as concerning as the bright light I was trying to blot out with my right forehoof! “She’s free!” I hear a blue pony scream in the distance, and I remove my hoof, to see a blue earth pony bolting for the other end of the yard! “Oh, golly! He must be afraid of me?” I raise my gaze, in the bright light and feel the warmth of the sun’s glow on my flesh as my fur blows in the breeze… It felt amazing after all that nothing earlier! I’m still not sure who I am or what I’m doing here, but I feel as if I need to leave? I take off to fly out towards the open sky! I felt the wind blowing against my feathers for the first time in what felt like forever, and I feel the air blowing against my cheeks in glorious spender… It felt like….freedom! I feel the wetness on my cheeks begin to dry as I fly off towards a wide open treeline in the distance, but I also see I need to cross over some village to get there! I already flew over that big building, whatever it was… I think to myself… I stare down and see earth ponies and unicorns of different colors and mane styles, red, blond, blue, green, and yellow, all going to and from their respective places, and working to do whatever it is they do… It looked a lot like a town! I stare forward and think that that doesn’t matter now… I’m free now, and nothing else matters… I smile as I fly towards the forest on the horizon, as I feel the warmth of the sun on my back, and the wind lifting me higher towards the clouds… I was free… I was finally free… <*****> Once I crossed over the treeline, I watched as several different trails and paths led into the forest, and I raised my gaze to stare forward, away from the hot sun… I feel like I should know where I am? Gee, I’m kinda hungry! Uh, maybe there’s berries in the forest somewhere? How do I know which ones are safe to eat? Well, I remember somepony once told me not to eat the red ones, but that the black ones were okay… Wait, who taught me that? I shake my head to clear it before scanning the forest floor from overhead, where I continue to glide with my little wings, and I notice a particular bush near some strange blue flowers! I smile, “I bet that’s safe to eat?” I flutter down to the left, towards the bushes, from 50 feet away, and I come screaming in as I begin to quickly flap my wings away from me, to slow down, before I lightly land on my hooves in the forest clearing… Where did I learn to fly like that? I stare over at the bushes, maybe 10 feet from me, and I slowly trot over there on my hooves, to inspect it with my eyes… What color are my eyes, I wonder? I see the berries on the bush, are in fact, black! I notice it brushing up against some much smaller blue plants, but I think nothing of it as I eat the berries… They explode in my mouth with sour juicy flavor! I have no idea how long it’s been since I ate actual food… I matter-of-factly think to myself… Suddenly, I feel a weight grow on my shoulders, and I can barely move! I very slowly say, “Heeyy! Whhaatt giives? The words Cozy Slow suddenly enter my mind for some strange reason. Suddenly, I hear a deep feminine voice say from behind me, “I have traveled this area of the forest under the sky so blue, but I don’t recall seeing you! Who are you, young filly?” I very slowly turn around and try my best to mouth out, “I doooonnn’t knnnnoooowww mmmmmyyyy nnnnnaaaaammmmme… “ before very slowly blinking… The striped pony I see 8 feet away from me raises her gaze before turning back down to me and she asks me plainly, “That bush has poison joke! Did you eat from it, or no?” as she stares at me inquisitively with her blue eyes and I note her Mohawk style mane-cut and the 4 golden rings around her neck, which I guess are for decoration? I slowly blink again, and very slowly nod my muzzle up and down… She smiles, and says, “Ah! You have nothing to fear! I have just the thing, my dear!” before she takes two paces towards me, reaches down with her neck, and forcefully bites the back of my neck and turns her head around, to place me on her back… She keeps her grin, “Say nothing, little pony! I’ll make you well again, for your coming testimony! She turns her gaze and body further down the trail, while all I can do is watch the forest floor pass as she continues to slowly trot and speak to me, “You’ve become infected with poison joke, my new friend! Only a bubble bath, could this situation mend!” … A bubble bath? Oh, golly! That sure sounds like fun! … Wait a minute? <*****> She ran a bath for me, in her ivory bathtub in the small cottage… It was in the corner and I noticed the ornate elephant shaped feet… She then turns back to look at me, reaches down with her neck, to lift me back up from my neck, and she then turns to carry me towards the elephant tub… After taking 4 steps, she gently cranes her neck down to set me into the warm soapy water, with it’s many bubbles… Oh, boy! A bubble bath! Hooray! As the water covers my fur and it grows soggy, I begin the feel that weight from earlier beginning to lift… I finally move my neck to see her there, smiling at me, with similar white and black designs across her back and I finally ask her, “You have black and white stripes! What kind of pony are you?” She smiles wider, “I am what’s called a zebra, young soul! I come from a land far to the west! But what pray tell is your name, foal?” I blink and tell her the truth, “I uh, um, I have no idea!” She frowns, “So in this contemporary, you mean to tell me that you have no memory?” I nod, “That is correct! And you rhyme a lot!” She smiles again, “Indeed that is so! And my name is Zecora, just so you know!” … “Oh, golly!” Her mouth straightens, “Still, I don’t wish to call you nameless filly, and so what should I call you, to make this less silly?” And that’s when I smiled and said, “Call me, Captain Awesome!” You know, I really don’t see this one panning out? … Implying there were others… She smiles, “I shall call you, Ophelia!” I grin too, when I suddenly think I like my new name! (To be continued… )
Chapter 2: Day OneI slept deep underneath the covers in the small bed, in a little room, far to the left in Zecora’s hut… I didn’t realize how big this place actually was! This isn’t right… Nothing about my life makes sense anymore… Wait, did it ever make sense to me? I can’t tell! I open my eyes to see that I’m at the breakfast table, with Zecora across from me… Wait! Is this meal breakfast? I don’t know! She stares at me sternly in her azure gaze, “I can’t believe you would do such a thing, you rotten child! Now, I feel I should not be so mild! I never should’ve trusted you so! I believe it is time for you to go!” I widen my eyes, “Wait, Zecora! I don’t understand? What did I do?” She points towards the door to my right with her left hoof, “Leave now, so it’ll only be sad! You do not wish for me to get mad!” I feel tears forming in my eyes as I say, “B-but Zecora! What’s wrong? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Suddenly, my eyes open, and I feel bubbles of sweat formed on my forehead as I snuggle the other pillow underneath the covers in the darkened room, with the left side of my face buried in soft comfort, “Golly! What was that about?” I decide to get out of bed and trot to the living area, outside the little wooden door… I seem to have my own little room in this hut now? I think to myself as I use my right hoof to push open the hard portal, and then I spy Zecora, on the other side of the living area, with a large glass cylinder, with another smaller glass cylinder poking out of it, diagonally to lead to a small bowl… You know, it looked a lot like a bong! I look at her and ask, “You don’t want me to leave, do you?” She raises her snout to exhale a cloud of smoke, that lightly dances across towards the other side of the room, before turning her gaze right to me, “I don’t think so! Why do you believe for no… reason… “ before smiling, and giggling… I blink, before thinking it must have been a nightmare? “I uh, I don’t know… What are you smoking Zecora?” She continues grinning, “Well, if one pulls poison joke with rubber tongs, it becomes benign! But it also makes a very pleasant smoke, so sublime!” “I uh, I see… “ Oh, golly! I wonder if smoking that stuff would turn me into a raging smart-ass? Wait, why would it do that? I smile, “I’ll uh, go for a walk outside! I need some air!”* “Stray not far from the shack! It’s still dark outside, so watch your back!” She says, before putting her snout back into her bong and operating a hoof lighter with her right forehoof… “Oh, golly!” I exclaim while trotting out towards the door, and eventually closing it behind me with my right hoof… I stare out into the forest, underneath the blanket of darkness from overhead, laden with many bright and beautiful stars… I look up to the heavens and wonder for a moment… What happened to me? Why can’t I remember anything from my past? Why doesn’t anything seem real or normal to me anymore? I lower my gaze to stare down the trail, leading into darkness further into the forest… I sigh, I’m a freak! I just wish I could be normal…and blink… I hear a soft voice from behind me rhyme, “The night sky sure is beautiful as it is! Truly, one must learn to appreciate this!” I raise my gaze to the heavens and I see the tiny stars above, and think about how maybe all my problems really aren’t so humongous after all? I smile and, “I love you Zecora!” gets blurted out of my mouth suddenly, and unexpectedly! My eyes widen, “I love you too, Ophelia! The smoke has given me less inertia! Would you care for an early morning stroll, as the sun rises, my child? It might aid you, and possibly even make you smile?” Wait! Don’t I have wings? Why in Equestria would I actually walk anywhere? “Sure Zecora! That sounds swell!” I say, before lowering my gaze, to stare back down the darkened trail… I smile, and I look back and think that maybe it doesn’t seem so scary? <*****> I hear the crunching and cracking of dried leaves underneath my hooves, while trotting next to this strange striped pony, down the dark forest trail, with Celestia knows what lurking in the darkness, on either side amidst the trees… Well, she said she was a zebra? She turns right to me and says, “I understand you have little wings, so swift of flight! But I feel it is better to take your time, as we both trot into the night!” I smile at her, when I think I get it? “You just wanna take it slow, huh?” She nods, “Indeed, it would be good if you just learned to use your foot!” I stare forward, into the darkened woods, and it’s so strange, but it doesn’t seem so terrifying with this wonderful zebra trotting next to me? As I breathe the crisp morning air into my nostrils, I feel the coolness enter my lungs and I smile at this wonderful sensation! “I see, you enjoy your time here! Would you like to go back to Ponyville, as it is so near?” I turn back towards her and say, “Um, maybe later Zecora? I like just trotting out here, with it being just me and you!” She nods, “Very well, young one! There’s porridge for breakfast, and we shall watch the sun!” I turn back to the blackness and think… Oh, golly! That sure sounds yummy! <*****> I gripped the big wooden bowl in my forehooves and bring it to my snout, so I can taste the porridge with all the yummy butter and sugar in it! Gee, this sure is good! Zecora sits on her side of the outside pick-nick table, and smiles, “I see you enjoy your breakfast and food! I trust it is quite good? Although I would like to know! You have amnesia, but what do you really recall so?” I lower the bowl and raise my snout to her, and I actually seem to be smiling? “Oh, golly! There’s not much to tell! Um, “ I blink, “I can only barely remember my mother, before uh…” and frown, “B-before she,” and blink,” she went away… My dad was never really around, and I didn’t see him much… After all that, I remember I was alone… I used to sleep in a bunk room and I ate in a cafeteria… But…” and I blink again… “But that was all so long ago, and it doesn’t seem real anymore? I don’t know why I was in that courtyard?” She frowns, “Wait? When you were in a courtyard, and when was that so late?” I sigh and stare at her, “Well, I kinda uh… “ and blink, before processing how I’m going to say this? “I well… I came to and opened my eyes there in a courtyard, somewhere to the south of here… Um, yesterday I did, I mean… Um, “I blink, “at least, I think it’s to the south? Anyway, I didn’t really see anypony there, so I flew here into the forest, and well, that’s when I met you… “ I sigh… “Well, the poison joke incident, anyway… “ Her mouth straightens, “Well, you’re still young! It wouldn’t be right to not help you and leave you as you was! You have needs, just like anybody else does!” I smile, “Thank you so much, Zecora!” She smiles back, “You’re very welcome, little filly! But now that I’ve exercised, I believe I shall smoke another bowl, willy nilly! Do you have need of me for mean, or are you fine for the time being?” I briefly consider smoking dope from her bong again, before deciding against it, and smiling, “No, that’s okay Zecora! Go smoke up! I’ll just uh, sit here and soak up the atmosphere some more! I like all this nature stuff, right now… “ She smiles wider and nods, “Very well! Enjoy your nature sit, young Ophelia! I’ll be back to check on you, in a bit!” I grin widely at this wonderful zebra! “I’ll see you later!” <*****> I’m not sure how much time passed? I stared out into the forest floor… The dirt on the ground, laden with clumps of grass, here and there… The sound of birds chirping in the distance… The various rocks and twigs, strewn about the forest floor… And the crisp fresh morning air, entering and exiting my nostrils… I felt at peace… For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I was home… I can’t help but smile at the serene scene, and comforting noises I heard, there in the Everfree… I suddenly hear coughing, coming from the hut, just 12 short feet away from the worn wooden table… A thought suddenly strikes my mind like a thunderbolt, Maybe I should find a mirror? It might be helpful to know what I look like? Well, I’m obviously a pegasus pony, and very young… I think my bluish-white mane and tail were curled yesterday? You know, I didn’t even bother doing them last night! Wait, that would imply that I normally curl them, right? Maybe if I did curl them, that might help my memory? Uh, maybe later? Oh, golly! It’s getting hard to think now! ** Suddenly, I hear a cheerful feminine voice yell with an accent, “Come back inside to eat! I made pizza, and it’s quite the feast!” Gee, pizza sure sounds yummy! She’s being really nice to me. Why do I keep thinking that means I shouldn’t trust her? Well, what could she be planning? I’m a lone filly, who legitimately can’t remember her past! There’s nothing to gain from that, r-right? Think Ophelia! Why is she being so nice to me? Wait, my name is Ophelia, now? I eventually hear the same voice from earlier, “Ophelia, come hither! Your pizza no longer simmers!” I blink and think maybe I should just go back into the hut now? (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Twinkle Shine lives! **If I try to think back to my lost memories for too long, my mind will kind of freeze and lock up…
Chapter 3: Peeking OutAnd so, I lay on my bed, with my head on the pillow at the head, my long wavy mane-locks laying on the pillow, and lightly tickling my shoulders, as I crossed my forehooves at my chest, and stared at the ceiling… I was thinking about everything, and yet, I was thinking about nothing… When suddenly, the door to my room comes open, and in trots a small pink pegasus filly… She looks a lot like me, except her mane and tail are still neatly curled in rows, and she has a peculiar smirk on her face… “Well well well! I was wondering when you’d show up again! Although after all this time, I gotta wonder, what are you waiting for?” I look up and frown at this other filly, “What are you talking about?” Her head bounces so I see her curls bobble as she says, “Oh, don’t be coy, Ophelia! Assuming that’s the name you want to keep! You know, we’ve had a lot of names in the past!” I frown harder, and say gruffly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” She giggles, causing that familiar curl-bounce from earlier, “You’re just so adorable, I don’t know whether to snuggle you or kick the buck out of you? Just KICK THE EVER LIVING BUCK OUT OF YOU!” I smile, “Oh, please! I’m pretty sure I could take you, by this point!” before wondering what it is I’m talking about? Her gaze lowers while she keeps the smile on her face… “You think so, huh?” <*****> I open my eyes while laying on my side again, in my little room! My eyes are wide open, staring into the darkness as I feel new bullets of sweat formed on my forehead… “Golly! Who was that?” I wonder out loud… I hear Zecora coughing from the living area of the hut again… I know her room is on the other end, but she’s obviously up now! I finally decide to get out of bed, with a peaceful sigh exiting my mouth, before my hooves hit the wooden floor with a clack… I trot to the door and open it just in time to see Zecora sitting with her legs crossed in that funky zebra pose she does, as she uses her right forehoof to bring a lit cigarette to her lips, and purses, to take a drag… I trot out of the room, “Oh, golly! You’re doing drugs again, huh?” As I trot to the center and stop in the darkened room, amidst the tribal masks all arranged neatly on the far wall, she smiles, and keeps the hit in her lungs… She finally opens her mouth, and exhales a small stream of smoke, before grinning at me and saying, “One must smoke torvia very deliberate. One must hold the hit, in their lungs to count for a bit. Only then may you breathe out! And once done, the effects will take route!” before closing her eyes and keeping her hooves at her side, with her hind legs still crossed, “Then, I must focus on my breath alone, lest the trip go awry. I urge you to close your eyes, do the same, and give it a try!”* I didn’t have drugs in my system the way this crazy zebra shaman did, but I closed my eyes and obeyed all the same… In breath… Out breath… I’m pretty sure I hear Zecora snuffing out the cigarette in her ashtray, as I breath in again… Out breath… “Focus on your breath alone! Only in this way, is true mindfulness sewn!” Out breath again… In breath… “Golly, this mindful breathing thing, sure is something!” ** “Yes, child! Whenever you are stressed or concerned, always go back to your breath to avoid being burned!” I smile while taking another in breath… It’s so strange, but just the simple pleasure of breathing seems almost magical now? I open my eyes to see a smiling zebra, sitting cross-legged, with her forehooves at her side, and eyes closed… “Are you okay Zecora” “Of course, young one! I often meditate just for fun!” “Oh, golly!” I say, before finally deciding to trot outside, and making my way to the door in the other right corner of the room… I hear Zecora, “Stray not far Ophelia! You don’t want to miss breakfast! I have something special in mind,and it will be just the thing to fix for our bind!” <*****> I trot out of the hut and into the open patch of dirt on the forest floor, now darkened by the overhead patches of trees… I look up at the branches above me, and see the shade being cast on me below… I sigh and think maybe flying up there might be good for me? And so, I decide to stretch the ol’ wings and begin flapping vigorously to take off towards the heavens! I feel the cool morning air on my face as I head into the sky, and continue flapping my little pink wings as my mind becomes clear and calm… This is what it’s really about! Freedom and power! Yes! I have power over myself now, here in the sky, finally! I continued to fly further, as the sun shown in from the left. Remember who you are and your purpose! I hear a voice in my head say… Again, I have no idea what I’m talking about or what I’m saying when I say back to it out loud, “No! I’m not like you! I’m better than that!” Do you really think we could start over after everything? “I’m going to give it a shot…” I say, more determined than ever! Wait! Determined about what? I gulp when I think that surely, somepony in my head knows? Suddenly, I hear a voice screaming from below! “Hey, I think I see Cozy Glow up there?” My eyes widen, “Oh, golly!” and for some reason I suddenly feel as if I should turn around and fly back towards the hut! I don’t know why, but those ponies don’t sound very friendly? I think as I notice that I’m in fact, flying open grasslands and fields, right now! I must’ve been flying for longer than I thought? I think to myself, as I flap towards the treeline coming up on the horizon… In breath… Out breath… <*****> I land in the dirty forest floor with my hooves neatly clumping into the soil… And I start breathing heavier when I hear more shouting in the distance, “Hey, I think she went this way?” I breath in and out quickly when I suddenly think that I really don’t wanna meet those ponies! And so, I do the logical thing, and take off towards the shack door in a full gallop! I see it’s thatched walls and matching straw roof come into focus and get larger in my view as I race towards the door! I open the door and bolt inside, disturbing a kind zebra shaman, who opens her wide blue eyes from her meditation stance and asks, “Child, you came in so quick, and I was not ready! Open the door slowly from here on out, so I am more steady!” I stare at her with wide eyes, as I stand on all fours, and feel droplets forming on my forehead, as I keep breathing in and out heavily… In and out! In and out! “They’re… coming for me! The bad ponies! They don’t want me free and happy!” as I continue to wonder why I’m saying these things? “Bad ponies you say, dear lad? Tell me, who are these ponies, and why are they bad?” I gulp when I realize that I really have no way of explaining this to her? I stare at her and say, “Uh, um, never mind! I’ll be in my room! Yes!” and nod, before launching myself with my wings to hurriedly fly back towards the left, where my small room is in the shack… As I open the door, she says, “I will check on you in a bit! Just focus on your breathing and try not to fit!” <*****> … Once again, I have no idea how long I laid there on my bed, staring at the ceiling again… This time though, my mind was far from empty! Who are those ponies down south and why are they bad? Why do I think that I really shouldn’t go meet them? Well, if Ponyville is to the south, that could only mean that I should stay away from there! Yup! Ponyville is DEFINITELY bad news! I softly and quietly nod to myself, before I hear a knock on my door! “Come in!” I call out, although this time, I poked my head up to stare at the door, because whatever comes through there, I wanna be ready! It opens and in trots a striped equine with a Mohawk style mane-cut, and a calm gentle smile on her face, “So now that you’ve settled down, I have to know! Just what do you know about the bad ponies who trouble you so?” I gulp, “I-I know they’re looking for me… And I think they want to hurt me? I uh, “I blink, “I’m not sure why, but I just keep thinking that I REALLY don’t wanna meet these ponies… They’re scary… “ and nod. “Yes! Scary, bad ponies!” She frowns, “But why are they looking for you? Tell me child, just what did you do?” “I…” I close my eyes, “I don’t know, okay?” and I breathe again… In and out… “They want to hurt me and they don’t like me…” In and out… “I don’t want to meet them… “ I can almost feel her nod at this point, before she says, “Very well then! If meeting them is off the menu, we shall take another venue!” and I hear hooves clopping on the floor… “But child, why don’t you come here for a hug? Surely, love would be the ideal drug?” I finally open my eyes, to see this zebra shaman standing there, adorned with her golden neck rings and those massive hoops she put on her ears, as she smiles at me, and patiently waits on all fours… Patient? I ponder to myself as I land on the floor with another clack! I keep my eyes peeled on this zebra drug addict, as I pace towards her… Left hoof… Right hoof… Left hoof… Right hoof… Slow and easy, like in the woods! She eventually brings me in with her left forehoof, and she then, props up on her hind legs to embrace me with her other foot… I felt, safe, warm, and happy… I bring my forelegs to wrap around her… I felt okay again… I think I’m smiling? I’m not crying though… No, I would never cry… (To be continued… ) Author's Note *For the purposes of this story, ‘torvia’ is the Equestrian equivalent to salvia divinorum, a drug I have experience with in real life. **You know, I’m literally a trained yogi with years of experience, and mindful breathing is one of many techniques I employ in my practice.
Chapter 4: A New PerspectiveAs I closed my eyes there in my warm, comfortable bed, I felt at peace… Zecora had officially welcomed me with open hooves and I’m now an accepted member of this household… Or uh, hut-hold? Something like that! Do you really think we can just start over like that, after EVERYTHING? I open my eyes and whisper back to the voice in my head, “Yes, I do! I don’t know who you are, or why you’re here, but I do know that this is a new life for me, and nopony, not even you, whoever you are, is going to stop that!” before blinking, and asking, Are you my enemy? In my mind… Wouldn’t you like to know? Why don’t I trust you? Could it be, because you know better? You’re very irritating, you know that? Oh, I’m sorry, Ophelia! You know, we used to be friends? Remember? Friendship is power and all that? “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” I say out loud… The voice is silent, before finally saying, You truly don’t remember, do you? “What?” I say out loud… It’s okay Ophelia… I’m gonna MAKE you remember! At that point, time stopped… I got up off my bed finally, to timidly trot through my room to the wooden door on the other side… I need to see Zecora! You can’t stop me forever, you know? I open the door with my right hoof, and launch myself through the air, to flap out of my room, with my little wings… The foyer seems empty this time, as I flap in and fly around the room, I see many beanbag chairs of various colors, red, yellow, green, and blue, all arranged around the wooden table, on the floor… I land on the green beanbag chair on the other side of the room, and sit there on my haunches, amidst the many other seats… Remember your purpose! I blink and stare down at the table, before seeing the partially crumpled half-joint there in the ashtray, and a neon green hoof lighter… I make a decision right then and there, and put the cigarette and lighter into my chest floof… I got something I shouldn’t have now! I think to myself, before calmly turning around on the chair and flapping my wings to fly back to my room, on the other side… I flap to the door, and open it to the left with my forehooves by flying backwards again, and then I fly in and land there… My hooves go clackon my floor… I start breathing heavily, in and out my nostrils, and I feel the wind course through my body as I trot over to the door, and shut it quickly…Snap! Goes the lock… I feel beads of sweat forming on my head, as I take out the joint, and put it in my mouth… What am I doing? I’ve never done this before! What are you doing, Ophelia? I strike the green lighter underneath the joint, and I feel heat on my chin, before I move it a bit outward, and higher, to ignite the end of the partially smoked joint… Ophelia? Do you really think that’ll work? I take the joint out of my mouth and exhale a cloud of smoke in front of me, as my mind suddenly grows hazy… Are you still there? Hello? I think to myself, because it hasn’t said anything in awhile… The mystery filly seems to have gone away? Better make this count! I think to myself, before bringing the joint to my mouth for another hit… I hold the hit in my lungs, while the room shifts to the left and I stumble as I try to trot to the window… Why did I start doing this? I think to myself, as I exhale a cloud of smoke, into my room, which now seems kinda foggy… What if Zecora catches me? I put the mostly burned joint to my lips, and take another drag, as ashes fall off the front… The voice is gone now… I’m free again… So at least there’s that! I feel the warm smoke enter my lungs… I just wish I knew why you wanted to get rid of me? The voice suddenly asks, imploringly. I exhale and ask out loud, “Who are you?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I bring the joint to my lips for one of the final drags… I inhale, and feel the warmth enter my lungs yet again… You know, I honestly expected to cough more. Why is this easy for me? I exhale a cloud of smoke and ask out loud, “Are you still there? Hello?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I stare forward, “Golly, I guess I smoked her away?” I then take the final drag, and watch ash fall off, as the flame moves to the cardboard tip, and suddenly goes extinct... <*****> I slept underneath the covers of my soft warm bed… You know, I think it must’ve been the drugs, but it now just felt five times better, and so much more plush and comfortable! Golly, I love cotton downy sheets! Suddenly, I’m awoken again when there is a knock on my door! I poke my head up at the head, and yell, “Come in!” What if my room smells like drugs? The door opens and in trots a familiar zebra with a Mohawk mane-cut, golden rings around her neck, and a frown on her face, “Ophelia, I needed to check on you! Are you okay? What do you say?” I smile at her, as if everything is normal, “Oh golly, Miss Zecora! I’m just swell! Thanks for checking on me!” She lowers her view, “Are you sure? You’re acting off, and I need to make sure you’re okay in your loft.” “Gee, why wouldn’t I be okay, Zecora?” “Well, you’ve slept for four hours, or so! That would suggest that you’re sick, or not feeling well, and I know I need to take care of you now. So if there’s anything wrong, let me know just how?” I don’t think my eyes are darting, but they sure want to! “I’m good, Miss Zecora! I’ll be out for dinner soon!” I say before giving her the widest grin ever… She sighs, “Very well, little pony! I’ll go make us fruit for dinner, and we’ll eat, so I’m not so stony.” before turning to trot out of my room… I see her turn, and hear her clacking hooves on the floor as she trots away from me to the door… Clack clack... I see the door go open again, and shut with the zebra behind it… I got away with it… I got away with smoking a joint… Gee, that was a lot easier than I thought! I wonder what else I can get away with? Why, oh why did I smoke that joint? What’s happening to me? And where did that other filly go, and just who is she anyway? I stare up at the ceiling and finally ask myself, “Am I a bad filly?” Why do I feel bad about this? And why do I keep thinking that I’ll do that again? Should I just come clean to Zecora? What if she gets mad and kicks me out? That wouldn’t be good! Oh, golly! Why did I do that? Suddenly, another voice enters my mind… Oh, gee! Now you have a moral dilemma, huh? What ever will you do? I whisper to the ceiling, “I don’t need your input!” Well, you’re gonna get it anyway! He he he! So, you’re smoking dope now? And you just don’t know what Zecora is gonna say, when she finds out, is that right Ophelia? “What if I told her myself?” Do you really believe that’s wise, Ophelia? What if she kicks you out? “Is that really worse than the guilt I feel, about what I did? Besides, that seems kinda extreme? I don’t think it’s logical to think that she’d do that, considering the nature of the crime?” Even so, I still gotta ask! Just why did you smoke that joint? And uh, w-wait a minute! You, actually feeling guilty? The voice is now silent, before finally saying, I don’t think you’re the same filly I was talking to earlier? Since when do you feel remorse for anything? I blink and widen my eyes, “W-wait! Other filly? Doesn’t she feel remorse? What are you talking about?” and raise my neck slightly. “Just who are you, anyway?” There’s only silence in my mind after that… I cringe, “Just who the buck are you?” Again, only mute blankness… I breathe out, and I suddenly hear Zecora coughing from the foyer… Hey, maybe I should joint her? Wait, joint her? What am I even saying? Is that stuff from earlier still in my head? Oh, golly! At that point, I stare up at the ceiling, and make another decision… I breathe in and out, through my mouth to brace myself… I then turn my body over on the bed, and launch myself through the air, with my little wings, to float towards the door, a bit quicker than usual… If I’m gonna do this, I’d better be quick about it, and just get this over with! What are you doing, Ophelia? I turn the doorknob with my forehooves and floatback, so that the portal opens, and sure enough, I see Zecora there, sitting in her funky zebra cross-hooved position, while one of her forehoof brings a burning cigarette towards her lips… Before pursing, she says, “Ah, yes! Before gathering fruit, I wished to take a toke break! What’s on your mind filly? Is something at stake?” and then, clamps her lips on the end, to inhale… As her lungs fill with smoke, I just blurt out, “I smoked poison joke!” She exhales smoke, before saying, “While certainly possible, it is not likely my dear! Poison joke was in my stash, but devil weed was all that was here!” I frown, “Wait! There’s different drugs?” She puts the joint out by snuffing in her glass ashtray with her left forehoof, while patting the blue beanbag chair, next to her red one, with her other hoof, smiling at me the whole time… I gulp, and slowly trot into the room… “Come here little filly, because it’s time to talk about drugs! If you indeed have a habit in tow, you must keep it in it’s place, so you’ll know how to go!” “Oh, golly!” I say under my breath… The zebra continues to grin at me, as I trot over to my incoming death… (To be continued…)
Chapter 5: The Demon ReturnsSo you wussed out, and told her you smoked devil weed, huh? The voice in my head chimes in… I then hear Zecora talking, “So, you must understand that if you are to use substances like this, you must follow certain rules to avoid the abyss!” I blink and snap to attention, “Oh? Well, gee! What are those rules?” and to the voice in my head, I mentally say, I thought I was smoking poison joke, remember? Gee, you don’t pick up on things very fast, huh? She smiles and nods, “Well, you must remember to go slowly and not use too much! Your grip is what must be maintained, as such!” “Grip?” I raise an eyebrow. It doesn’t matter what you try! I’ll eventually get through again! I’ve done it before! I hear the voice say… She nods, “Yes, little one! Let me fire this one up and show you! As I said, one must go slow!” before taking a freshly rolled joint in her right hoof, and bringing it to her lips, to clamp… “Lighting too, is a skill that must be learned! Then, the best lights can be earned!” before taking the lighter in her other hoof, and striking it to fire up right in front of her face… I note how she moves her snout forward and visibly inhales, so the flame gently moves towards the cigarette, and barely licks the end, to ignite it in a small glow… Almost like she’s trying to teach me? I think to myself, as I watch this zebra inhale… We don’t have to fight, you know? The voice in my head says… I see her stomach contract as she exhales an impressive stream of smoke from her snout, and turns to stare at me, “Tradition dictates that each pony gets two hits before they pass to the left!” * I watch the zebra bring the joint to her lips for another pull, as the voice in my head says, Ophelia? Are you still there? I ignore the voice as Zecora passes the burning joint to me with her left hoof… I take it, and bring it to my snout for my first drag… Maybe this will shut you up? I think to myself, as I feel the warm smoke entering my throat, and traveling down into my lungs… Zecora says, “Inhaling should be gradual and slow! The lungs must not be overwhelmed, so you know!” I take note of this while inhaling, and loosen my diaphragm, so the smoke begins to seep slower and more gradually into my lungs… ** Zecora smiles and nods, “You are learning child! I want to teach you to be responsible! Only then, is growing up truly possible! Now hold the hit in your lungs and count to three! After that, exhale and let the smoke free!” I smile and mentally count to 3, as I feel the weed begin to take hold in my brain, and body… This feels really nice! Wait, am I alone again? I exhale a cloud of smoke, and I notice, that now, I only hear silence in my mind… Zecora nods, “Now, take your time! Get ready, and take another hit, when you feel sublime!” I nod and say to her, “Thanks, Zecora!” Zecora keeps a grin on her face, “You’re very welcome, little one! Go on! Take a hit! It’s fun!” I nod, and bring the joint to my lips for another drag… I feel the heat in my gut, as Zecora says, “Excellent, now give me the smoke! It’s time for my turn to toke!” I calmly extend my right forehoof to her, as I exhale a big puff of smoke… I notice the distant fuzzy feeling in my head, as she grasps the joint from me. I finally finish exhaling a cloud of smoke, as I see the zebra bringing the joint to her snout. I turn to stare at her, “Why are you smoking drugs with a filly?” She visibly grins with the cigarette in her lips, before taking it out and exhaling, before staring back at me, “Because little filly, you are conflicted, no? I find with a little herb, things become simple enough to show! We shall now smoke together, and I’ll watch you well! If you have any adverse reactions, I could tell!” I see her taking another hit as I say to her, “You think I’m gonna smoke again, huh?” She nods as she takes the joint out of her mouth, and extends her hoof to me, before exhaling a moment later, “Yes, I do Ophelia! And this is a habit you have, you say, I will teach you how to do it right, so at least you’ll be okay!” I get the joint from her grasp, “Golly, you really do care for me, huh?” I bring the joint to my lips, while she says, “I’d like to think I’ve proven that already? Is there anything you need, or are you quite steady?” and smiles at me, while I inhale… Why is that irritating? I think to myself, while mentally counting to 3… “How do you feel, foal? I know you’ve taken a few hits, so now I have to know?” I exhale smoke and say, “Your rhyming gets a little bit sloppier when you’re high!” before bringing the joint to my mouth… Why did I say that? Think to myself, as heat goes into my throat and I see a certain zebra shaman beginning to giggle… “One is imprecise when stoned, and so, it makes sense to take it slow!” I feel smoke in my lungs again… I hoof her the joint while holding the hit in my lungs and thinking about what I’m going to say? She takes the joint and says, “Go ahead and finish this when I am done! I’ll be back to check on you, after some time in the sun!” I exhale at this preposterous notion, before turning to her, “How do you know I won’t burn down the house?” I ask her, before wondering why? She nods, “I have faith in you, one who is young! I think leaving you by yourself shall serve as a gauge for the not too soon! Just be mindful, young filly, of the herb and its effect; so do not swoon! Keep your breathing steady, with zero heft, and your grip shall remain deft." She has faith in me! I think before putting the roach out in the glass ashtray on the table, and then smiling at her, “Uh, that’s okay Zecora! You go take your walk, and I’ll just uh, stay here! Yeah!” “I want you to tell me about what you thought about, just for clarification! You must be able to be alone, and I need more information!” Before getting off the chair and trotting towards me… I see this hug coming from miles away, so I get to my hooves, from my own beanbag chair, and she soon wraps her forehooves around me… “I love you, Zecora!” I say to her, while returning the hug. “I love you too, young foal! I’ll be back with berries, so don’t get too full!” “You expect me to raid your fridge, don’t you?” She giggles, “Well, not all strains will give you the munchies, just so you’re aware! But some definitely will, so beware!” I bury my head in her floof… It’s weird, but now that I’ve smoked, I just don’t want this hug to end! <*****> But eventually, it does… Zecora leaves, and I’m once again alone, with my thoughts… Suddenly, I hear a voice in my mind, Ophelia? I’m back! Um, I want to talk! I don’t miss a beat, and grab the roach from the holder in the glass ashtray on her little table, before putting it in my snout… Ophelia? Please! Can we just talk? I bring the neon purple hoof lighter to my snout, and strike it to ignite the flame, and bring my snout to it, to inhale, and light the joint in my mouth… I taste warm weed on my tongue as the voice says, Okay, look! I uh, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? Please talk to me again, Ophelia! I exhale a cloud, before saying, “I don’t know who you are!” to the air, and bringing the joint to my mouth… W-what? We’ve been chatting this whole time! What are you saying, Ophelia? I think back, I’m saying that you’re a pain in the flanks, and I’m going to get rid of you! I exhale while the voice is silent again… Suddenly, it says, Okay, now you’re just making me mad! I smile and giggles, “So?” before bringing the partial joint to my mouth for another pull… I feel heat enter my snout, as silence overtakes my mind… I hold the hit in my lungs… I exhale another cloud of smoke… Finally, the voice says, Could you please talk to me again, Ophelia? Um, i-it’s really lonely, and if I’m gonna be honest, this kinda hurts my feelings! I suddenly laugh! “Feelings? Since when do you have feelings?” Before I bring the cigarette to my snout once more… There’s only silence in my mind, as I feel the heat in my lungs… I eventually exhale another stream of smoke… I hesitate to take the next drag… Eventually, I hear the voice again, Please Ophelia? I just want my friend back! Or well, any friend really! I uh, I don’t think I know who you are? You aren’t the same as before… I bring the roach to my lips for another pull, You’re a nuisance! I only register muteness while my lungs are full of smoke… I exhale a cloud of smoke, and decide to put the roach out after that… I stare at it and think that there’s maybe a couple more hits left? What will I tell Zecora when she returns? She doesn’t know about the demon! Or uh, I don’t think she does? And why does smoking make it go away? It thinks it’s clever, trying to get me to feel sorry for it…I grin widely… But I know better than to trust anypony! (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Tradition dictates that each smoker gets two hits, before passing to the left. I know not the origins of this, only that that’s how it’s done. **Fun fact, as a trained yogi, I know a LOT about breathing.
Chapter 6: Cozy GlowI sat on the chair in Zecora’s shack, with a red book on crystals that I found in her library… I thought it looked interesting, and I had nothing to do while Zecora was in town, so I thought I’d read! I flipped to a random page towards the back, to the section labeled rose quartz… I smile as I begin to read about the heart chakra and how the crystal can benefit it… When suddenly, I hear a familiar voice in my head, Ophelia? Can we talk? I roll my eyes, when I think that there’s probablyno way I can get out of this conversation, “Yes, what do you want?” I whisper… There’s silence before I hear it say, You aren’t the same as before, and I get that now. I finally understand… Um, can we be friends? I sigh and stare blankly ahead, “You already asked me that!” Yeah, but you never gave me a response… My eyes widen as I stare at the far wall, adorned with the spooky mask, before murmuring, “Okay, I guess that’s technically true!” The voice is silent, while I continue staring at the far wall, and not the book… Well? I finally whisper, “If I say yes, will you just shut up already?” The voice is silent for another moment, before saying, Well, I guess? I mean, it might be nice if uh, you know, you actually WANTED to be friends with me, though… I sigh, and angrily cry, “Oh, for pony’s sake!” before putting the book down, and taking off to fly towards the door… <*****> I stand on Zecora’s wooden porch, underneath the shanty awning, and start breathing mindfully again… In breath… Out breath… Golly, that filly is annoying! I think to myself in my head, before taking off to trot down the woodland trail, there in the Everfree… I decided to trot with my hooves and take my time, just like Zecora showed me earlier… No need to rush! Just enjoying a pleasant trot in the woods! Nothing more! I continue trotting, when I suddenly think that maybe I should’ve smoked before I left? And sure enough, I hear the voice again, Ophelia? Can we talk, please? I continue trotting, while I whisper back, “What now? I’m busy!” Okay, I’m just gonna be blunt! Who are you, and what did you do with the filly from before? I stop trotting, and stare at the ground, and see all the twigs and rocks in the dirt, as clouds lazily float overhead, blocking the sun out in spots further down the trail, and I decide to take the offensive! I angrily grumble, “You know, it might be easier to share with you, if you at least told me your freaking name?” as my head tilts left in irritation! The voice is silent… “Well?” I growl as my head normalizes. I… I don’t know, okay? The uh, the other filly never wanted to know my name… I turn my face diagonal the other way in irritation, “What do you mean, ever wanted to know your name? How the hay did she address you?” She didn’t… Diagonal, the other direction now, “What do you mean, she didn’t?” The voice sighs… I mean, I only spoke to her when I wanted her to do things… I remember the rush of power so well, when she put that crown on her head… My head centers as my eyes widen, “Oh, golly! Uh, what happened?” You know, I think that maybe telling her to do all those things wasn’t exactly the best thing I could’ve done? I mean, I did get her frozen in stone! I think for a moment, before finally muttering, “Frozen in stone? So uh, wait! That platform I woke up on! I remember, it was cement and very hard!” That was probably the same platform where they froze the other filly! I nod, “Okay uh, well, what happened to the other filly? The one they called Cozy Glow? Because I uh, I don’t think I’m Cozy Glow? I think I’m Ophelia?” Gee, that makes two of us! Look, Ophelia, since I guess that’s your name, I’m trapped in here… Can we please just well, I don’t know? Get along, maybe? I sigh, “Alright, but I’m still smoking devil weed!” I can almost feel the voice feel better when it suddenly replies, Deal! “And poison joke, too! Uh, whenever that happens… “ I can almost feel the strange voice grinning at me… “Also, your name is Rowan is now!” Rowan? Why Rowan? “Well, it’s unisex!” You know, my gender is probably female, right? I turn my eyes skyward, “Can we tell for sure?” I ask the voice before re-centering my gaze, and suddenly wanting a joint… The voice is silent… Okay uh, I guess, maybe you got a point there? You know what? Rowan is fine! Idiot!* “Moron!” I whisper back to the voice as I begin trotting down the trail again… Jerk! The voice retorts… “Dummy!” I mutter back… The voice is silent for a moment, before finally saying, You know, you never told me what happened to Cozy Glow? I continue trotting towards a rope bridge as I say, “So, Cozy Glow the name of the other filly you keep talking about, huh?” Yes, that was the name she was using when she went to Ponyville, to infiltrate the school… “But she’s had many names before, you say?” Also true! But uh, where did she go? I honestly don’t know what to say to this strange voice, so I finally just admit, “I uh, I don’t know, okay?” The voice is silent… So that’s it then? You just woke up on a platform in the midday sun, escaped here to the Everfree, and you’re hiding out now? “Hiding out? What?” Rowan is silent… You know what? Never mind! This pretty much continued, on and off for the rest of my hike, but still, I got to see lots of pretty birds and trees and I liked the way the sun was partially covered up by the clouds! You know, I remember learning the weather in the Everfree wasn’t controlled by pegasi… I’m not really sure where I learned that? I finally decide to trot back to Zecora’s, because this filly needs a smoke! <*****> I trot down the woodland trail and the forest begins to grow dark, underneath the treetops… I breathe, in and out as I continue trotting down the trail… It’s just kinda dark and spooky! No problem! Gee, this forest sure is scary around here, huh? The voice chimes in, both breaking my concentration and bringing up the one thing I was trying not to think about! I grumble back to it under my breath, “Yeah, it’s scary! But I can totally get through this!” You sure? You should be careful! I continue trotting past a gnarled oak tree on the left side, that looks ancient, enormous, and probably quite dead… I murmur under my breath, “Are you okay, Rowan?” before suddenly wondering if I truly care? Oh, yeah! I’m good! I’m just fine! Keep looking around though! I’m not sure if it’s safe? I whisper back, “And the dark forest scares you?” No! Uh, okay! Maybe a little bit? Look, we’re both in this body now, so don’t get hurt, alright? I keep trotting towards the bright opening I see in the leafy canopy overhead, maybe a hundred yards away, “So you do care about me?” Considering we’re in the same body for uh, some reason, you could say I’m invested, yes! I smile, “I love you too, Rowan!” sarcastically. The voice is silent… What? The other filly didn’t even give me a name, and now you’re saying that you love me? I’m not sure Rowan understands sarcasm, but at the same time, they sound very hopeful? I decide not to fuck it up! “Yes, Rowan! Now that I see who you really are, I think we could probably get along? I mean, beats having an angry voice in my head, right?” I’m almost to the opening and can almost feel the heat of the sun as Rowan says, So you don’t want me mad at you, huh? I nod as I trot out into the sunlit trail ahead, and the treetops no long obscure the sky, “Well, you’re inside me, right? We’re both connected, yes?” Rowan is silent… Alright Ophelia, I’ll do my best to be nice to you, and you do the same for me, alright? Let’s try to get along! Or uh, whatever! I chuckle at this confused voice in my head as I continue to trot down the bright forest trail, leading towards the clearing some distance away… <*****> The rest of the day was just swell! Rowan didn’t really bother me, and I have a yummy dinner with Zecora, before I happily took the dishes back to the sink and wash them! I don’t mind helping out around here now. Well, not after everything… I hear Zecora say from the foyer, “When you’re done Ophelia, I have a blue lotus joint for us to smoke! Do a good job now, and then we’ll share a toke!” Oh, golly! I wanted to smoke poison joke, earlier! Suddenly, I hear Rowan again, Do you think that’ll make me go away? I scrub off the white plate in my right hoof, using the scrub brush in my left, while I whisper, “Probably? I mean, me becoming stoned, seems to make you go away, right?” I set it aside on the left of the sink, on the awaiting folded blue towel, before picking up the other plate to wash it… Since I’ll be forced to go away anyway, I’m gonna take a nap! “Sweet dreams, Rowan!” I whisper, mostly to myself, and I set the plate on the left towel, next to the other, before raising my neck and shouting to the foyer, “Alright Zecora! Here I come!” <******> I sit on the blue beanbag chair as Zecora smiled at me from the other side, sitting on a neon green beanbag and bringing a freshly rolled joint to her face, with a visible blue end, before taking the hoof lighter in her off-hoof and igniting it, before she leans forward, to inhale, causing he flame to kiss the end and ignite it into a bright cherry, that glows as Zecora takes the first drag… She soon takes the joint out of her snout, and exhales a stream of smoke, before staring at me and matter-of-factly stating, “So in Ponyville, I just learned that the statue of Cozy Glow is missing from the courtyard at the School of Friendship!” and then bringing the burning cigarette to her lips once more. I widen my eyes, “Oh? Who’s Cozy Glow?” She exhales a big cloud of smoke to my left, and stares at me intently, “Do you mean to tell me that you do not know, truthfully child? You say you have amnesia, but I don’t know if it’s severe or mild?” “Zecora, until today, I had no idea who Cozy Glow was!” Zecora hooves me the joint, and says plainly, “Cozy Glow was an evil pegasus filly who tried to take over the land! They froze her in stone as punishment for her crimes!” and then lowers her gaze, “But it appears Cozy hasn’t served all of her time!” “Her statue is gone?” I ask before bringing the joint in for a HARD drag… I need some cushioning for this one! Zecora nods somberly, “Cozy had a neatly curled mane and tail! Not unlike the way yours were, before the curls unraveled and failed! You never put your curls back in, so you could remain unseen, isn’t that how you’ve sailed?” I exhale a BIG puff of smoke, and stare at this zebra with hazy eyes as I try my best to stay composed and do my best to tell the truth! “I uh, I don’t know?” I say, before bringing the joint to my snout for another pull… This stuff seems to be mellowing me out? “Yes, and Ophelia, answer me true, so I know! Are you really Cozy Glow, yes or no?” I exhale a steady stream of smoke to the right of this curious zebra shaman, before staring at her directly and telling her the truth! “I… I don’t know, okay? I don’t know anything! I just woke up and now, everypony seems to want to get me?” I adjust my gaze to her and hope for the best! “Please Zecora! If I turn out to be Cozy Glow, please don’t kick me out!” I say before widening my eyes in fear! Zecora smiles sedately and says, “Calm yourself, Ophelia! Tell me, now that we know where you came from, do you wish to keep your new name, or should I refer to you as Cozy Glow again?” I hoof her the joint, because I think I’m done and breathe heavily, in and out of my snout… In and out… I see the zebra taking a drag, before adjusting my gaze to her and saying, “Oh, golly gee! I don’t know who Cozy Glow is, okay? I uh, “ and smiling. “I like Ophelia! Can we just uh, please keep calling me Ophelia, please?” She casually smiles and says, “Of course little filly! Respect is given and received! Cozy is likely gone if what you say is true, although you don’t seem bereaved?” I smile at this wonderful and kind zebra, while she holds the joint to her mouth, and inhales, causing the cherry to glow, and I nod while some ash falls off the front, to say, “I already told you Zecora, Cozy Glow is a mystery to me! Just uh, please keep calling me Ophelia, okay?” Zecora simply smiles and nods, as her lungs hold the smoke… (To be continued…) Author's Note *Now introducing Rowan, the reformed genderqueer super-villain living inside Ophelia’s head!
Chapter 7: The Rest of EquestriaAm I really Cozy Glow? In breath… Out breath… If I’m not Cozy, then where did she go? Golly, I just can’t remember anymore! In breath… Out breath… If Cozy isn’t here, then who am I? My name is Ophelia… In breath… Out breath… Okay, but if I’m not Cozy, just where the hay did I come from? Gee, you know, this doesn’t make a lot of sense! I open my eyes to find myself on Zecora’s plush red meditation pillow with it’s yellow threading, on her darker red yoga mat… I managed to get my hind legs to cross, after I worked with them a bit! But now, it’s time to come undone… Was I always here in this body, and just asleep? I wonder as I use my forehooves to undo my hind hooves… Is that why Cozy tried to do all of those awful things? Because I wasn’t there? Am I a good filly now? I stand on all fours, in front of the pillow, and take a DEEP breath in through my nose, before opening my mouth, and releasing my diaphragm to begin forcing the air out slowly, and as the wind passes through my body, I reach a new stability within myself… I smile when I realize that it truly doesn’t matter… None of it really does anymore… I hear a knock on the other side of the wooden door in front of me, and I hear Zecora’s muffled voice, “Are you done yet, child? Dinner is ready, and mine is hot, while yours is mild!” I smile at the door, knowing there’s a caring zebra behind it, and yell, “Yeah, I’m done meditating now, Zecora!” <*****> I stare down at the plate, “Wait, so this is vegetable lo mein?” Zecora smiles and nods, “Yes young one! Lo mein is tasty for sure! But you’ll want sauce, and so there’s some soy there to allure!” I nod, “Thank you so much, Zecora! And hey, I was just meditating and um, I don’t think Cozy is here anymore, if that makes any sense? I mean, “I blink, “I think it’s just me now?” and stare up at her, “My name is Ophelia… “ She nods, “It is good that you have discovered the oneness within you! But that still leaves the question of when you will reveal yourself to Equestria so true? I mean, us alone wouldn’t be enough of a life? Besides, we also wish to avoid strife!” I breathe in and out while the zebra finally takes a bite using the fork in her forehoof… “You think I should talk to other ponies too, huh?” I blink… “I mean, I’m not Cozy Glow, but how would they ever know that?” and close my eyes, “It’s too hard! I don’t think I could ever go back to Ponyville?” I feel a comforting hoof land on my left shoulder, before opening my eyes to see the azure pupils of this wise shaman staring back at me, “Never forget Ophelia, you are not alone!” I stare at her, and while I feel my eyes are wide and trembling, this doesn’t feel the same as before… I say to her with genuine concern, “So, you’ll be with me?” She smiles, “Always, Ophelia! After all, we don’t want them to kill ya!” My mouth trembles with emotion when I begin to think logically again, “Wait! Princess Twilight! Yes!” before staring at her, “Do you know how to get a hold of Princess Twilight Sparkle?” … Wait, why do I know who Twilight Sparkle is? <*****> Dear, Twilight Sparkle Gee, this is so weird for me! I know who you are, and I learned about Cozy Glow, and while I know you’ll recognize my body, uh, you wouldn’t know me… I’m in Cozy Glow’s body, but I don’t know where I came from… I am a different filly, I swear, and I’d very much like to see Equestria and meet the other ponies, but I just don’t think I could ever do that, because of the way I am… Because of the body I’m in, I mean… I really don’t know what to do, but I would very much like to talk to you? Please come to Zecora’s hut and speak with me! Sincerely, Ophelia I finish penning the letter with my mouth and look down at what I wrote… “Now, I will deliver this message to Twilight Sparkle, and we will see what happens, maybe something remarkable?” I hear Zecora speaking behind me, as I sat at stationary… I spit out the blue pen and look behind me on the chair, “Are you sure Twilight will react nicely to this?” Zecora smiles and nods, “You forget Ophelia! It is not your words alone, but mine too, that will reach the ears of the throne!” My eyes widen, “Golly! So when will you take it to her?” Zecora smiles, “I’ll leave tomorrow, early, before the sun rises! That way, the trip will be cool, and won’t be a crisis!” “Oh, golly!” Zecora nods, “But now it is time for bed! I shall roll you a joint for the morning, and I’ll leave before you’re awake!” Oh, golly! I got this habit now! I smile at her, “That sounds swell, Zecora! Don’t worry about me! I can fix my own breakfast with whatever I find!” <******> I lay there in the dark, with my eyes staring up at the ceiling… What if they don’t like me? What if they can’t get over what Cozy Glow did? Oh, golly! I’m just not sure if this is such a great idea? I close my eyes… I breathe and try to think about nothing… To just let my mind drift off to sleep… Suddenly, the overhead lights come on, and I open my eyes to look up from my back, and I see a large purple alicorn standing there! She has a blue mane, decorated with two streaks, one hot pink, and the other lavender… She furrows her eyebrows over her purple eyes before saying, “Cozy Glow! You have been charged with crimes against Equestria, and have been sentenced to petrification!” I turn myself around and stand up on my hooves on the bed, before saying, “Look, I’m not Cozy Glow! I don’t know… “ “Quiet!” She shushes me! “Do you have any final words before I turn you back to stone?” At that point, I yell out the only thing I can! “It wasn’t me! You got the wrong pony! I didn’t do it!” I turn my gaze down, and widen it when I see stone creeping up my hooves, and my body begins to become stone now, bit by bit! I stare up at the smiling alicorn frantically, “I didn’t do it!” <*****> I open my eyes there, in the dark, with cold moisture on my brow and a racing heart! I feel the soft pillow on the right side of my face, as I say to nopony, “Golly! What was that?” before wiping my brow with my forehoof and sitting up on my bed… My hind legs are getting more flexible now! I get to all fours, and launch myself up with my hooves, to begin flapping my wings vigorously, and I turn and fly towards the overhead lights! I’m floating overhead, and after pulling the overhead lamp string overhead, I begin to flap my wings towards the awaiting king-sized joint on the desk! Half now, and half later! I remind myself, and nod! I land onto the worn wooden chair there, and stare at the rolled devil weed there, in it’s white wrapper… I put it in my mouth with my right hoof, while the left collects the squeeze-box style red hoof lighter on the table, and brings it near my snout… I strike it in front of me, and put my eyes on the flame, just like Zecora showed me… I move my face forward a few inches, to inhale, and watch the flame kiss the end of the joint, and it soon begins to glow with a cherry on the front! I lit the joint, just like she showed me! I happily think to myself, while disengaging the lighter! I sure hope Twilight doesn’t turn me back into stone! I remove the smoke from my mouth, and exhale a cloud, as I put the lighter back on the table, and I feel the cannabinoids in my system, beginning to slow down my heart… It’s so weird, but early in the morning like this, all these masks on the walls now seem oddly comforting? Was that Twilight in my dream? I’ve never seen Twilight before! Why would I know what she looks like? Wait a minute… I bring the cigarette to my mouth for another pull, as I begin to wonder how in Equestria I’d know what she looks like? Ash falls out of the burning joint… I soon remove it from my face, and exhale a stream of smoke… Golly, so many things just don’t make sense right now! I stare out the front window of her hut and begin to wonder if I should take a walk? The sun isn’t up, so I should be careful! I’m taking a few drags first, though… I soon taste more herb, as I inhale smoke from the burning joint… <*****> You know, I normally walk to take my time now, but as this forest is right now, I’m not sure flying is such a great idea? I think to myself, while I march down the darkened trail, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I take note of the brown dirt path underhoof, with patches of grass here and there, and so much more grass on either side, with all of the dark, scary trees… I wonder if I’m gonna be attacked? I think to myself out of nowhere, before shaking my head and thinking that’s probably not a good thought! I continue down the trail, towards a distinct running sound I hear in the distance… I wonder if that’s a river? Well, only one way to find out! I continue trotting through the pitch-black path, as my eyes can only make out bits and pieces… I’m pretty sure Zecora was gone, by the time I left the hut? I think to myself, as I witness an opening in the trees and branches ahead… I begin to speed up to not quite a gallop as I really want to know if I’m right! I smile when I see dark water ahead, just beyond the trail and the muddy rocky bank there… Golly! I wonder what else I can find? “I haven’t seen you around here before!” I hear a masculine voice say to me from behind! Relax Ophelia! You haven’t done anything wrong! I think to myself, before turning to see a brown earth pony there, with a long, darker brown mane, and a smile on his face! “Who the hay are you?” He giggles slightly, “Name’s Roger Fetlocks! I live in the woods and don’t see many other ponies! Uh, who are you?” before leaning slightly forward… I smile when I realize that this forest-dweller has likely never heard the name Cozy Glow! “Uh, call me Ophelia! Hey neighbor! Wanna be friends?” (To be continued… )
Chapter 8: Better Than One FriendRoger widens his eyes, which I think are green, in the darkness? “Why, shoot Ophelia! I’d love to have a new friend! Y’know, I don’t have many!” My eyes widen, “I guess that makes two of us! Hey, you know, you really shouldn’t be wandering through the forest in the dark like this!” I notice his muzzle shadows change as he grins, “Are you kiddin’? I do just fine, here in the Everfree! Well,“ his eyes go to the clouds, “ mostly? You don’t wanna head east right now, trust me!” before he furrows his brows at me, “Besides, yer just a filly! If anypony around here needs to be safer, it’s you!” My eyes widen, “Okay, you got me there!” “So uh, when did you make it to these here woods?” “Uh, a couple of days ago! You’ve lived here by yourself, your whole life?” Roger sighs, “Well, more or less? Until about twenty years ago, I also had my mother… “ I frown, “What happened to her?” He adjusts his view to me, “She died! Now, I am alone!” before bringing his eyes up again, “Well, mostly?” and then back at me, “You’re here now!” “Golly, so you’re just by yourself, the whole time?” He nods, “Yup! I’ve learned to rely on myself, by this point! I mean, it’s really all I got!” My eyes widen when I have a sudden realization, “Roger, do you know where Zecora lives?” He gazes at me, “Uh, as a matter of fact, I do know Zecora! I don’t see her much, though!” “I live with Zecora… If you need somepony for ANYTHING, you go to Zecora’s house, and ask for Ophelia, okay?” His eyes widen, “Aw, shucks! You don’t need to…” I cut him off! “Yes, I do Roger! Nopony deserves to be all alone!” before wondering about the words I’m saying? He stares at me intently, “Uh, alright Ophelia! Next time somethin’ comes up, I’ll be sure ta give ya a holler! But uh, “his eyes dart behind me, towards the rising sun, “I REALLY need to git to the fishin’ hole, filly! I’ll see you around!” before nodding at me, and trotting around me, to trot the opposite direction I was heading… I breathe again, in and out… Golly! Being all alone must be hard! Another bizarre thought strikes my mind, and I continue trotting south… There’s something I want to see… <*****> I walk through the dirt roads leading south into Ponyville… It’s really early in the morning, and the sun is not out… I gaze at all the darkened alleyways, and pathways that lead around the various buildings… I just keep wondering about other ponies? Could they ever accept me? I trot further towards the center of town, and I see the School of Friendship on the left as I pass, heading south… I see the large wall-like structure, knowing that various classrooms are behind those windows, where ponies and various other creatures learn about togetherness and bonding… Why do I know that? I blink and wonder for a second. Rowan? Are you asleep? I think to myself… I only hear silence in my mind… Suddenly, I see the sun just now beginning to peak out to my left, past the school, as I trot further down the wide dirt paths into town… That’s when I first saw it in the distance… I saw the bright yellow star shaped sign for Sugarcube Corner! It was more of an oval than a typical star, and had three points on the top and bottom, and two points on either side… It had the words SUGARCUBE CORNER stenciled on the front in bright purple lettering… I don’t know why, but I stopped trotting and stared at that happy sign for a moment… And at that point, my mind began to race… I wondered what it must be like to be with other ponies? I wondered what friendship really had to offer me? I then felt water beginning to well in my eyes when I think about how that must not be for me? I’m in a villain’s body! I could never be around other ponies! I wonder what ice cream tastes like? I begin to see more light peaking out from over the rooftops on my left, as I just kept staring at that happy sign… Suddenly, I hear a voice behind me! I don’t even wait to discern what it said! My heart is racing now, and I turn around, and squat to take flight! I think I hear somepony shouting below me, now? I fly over the buildings again, towards the forest! I look down and I see many wooden and stone roofs pass by below, most of them in neat square and rectangular formats… I stare forward again, and widen my eyes, as I begin to flap harder and faster! Is there somepony there? Do they know who I am? What if they know this body? I can’t risk it! I stare down and I see grasslands in the early morning darkness now, before raising my gaze to see the treeline fast approaching! Soon, I’ll be safe again! <*****> I open my wood pannel window from the outside, and climb in, before I hear my hind hooves connect with the floor… TAP! And then, my front hooves! TAP! I turn around and breathe for a moment, as I try to think… The sun is just now rising up, and surely they didn’t see me? What if they travel back here? I decide to smoke the second half of my king joint, just then! Yes, smoking devil weed will help calm my nerves! I think to myself as I begin trotting towards the stationary, where I left the joint… I pick it up from the holder in the glass ashtray, and bring to my snout, before clamping my lips on it, and reaching towards my trusty red hoof lighter! My eyes begin to adjust to the moonlight, illuminating the room, and I can now make out my desk, and my bed in the corner there, with the blankets thrown over to one side… Here comes relief! I think to myself, as I strike the lighter before me, and lean forward slowly, as I was trained… I soon inhale to bring the flame to the end, where it ignites the exposed weed there, along with the surrounding paper to form a burning cherry… I disengage the lighter as a couple of embers fly off the front of the joint to go out in the air in front of me, and I set the lighter back down, before removing the joint from my mouth and exhaling an almost invisible stream of smoke, into the darkened room… Suddenly, I hear a voice coming from the outside of my room… It sounds feminine, although I’m not sure I know who it is? “You say, she’s back here, Zecora? The strange new voice says… “That is correct, she is there! Although I doubt that she’s awake and aware!” My eyes widen, when I begin to become curious as to what they’re talking about? “And you’re SURE she isn’t really Cozy Glow, just trying to trick you?” “Yes, I know it sounds strange! But I assure you, she doesn’t have Cozy’s range! She isn’t a bad filly, and I’ve been teaching her meditation, so she can gain control, and not be silly!” Suddenly, my door opens up and I see a tall purple alicorn standing there! I notice the pull-chain of the overhead lamp glow, and the light turns on, to reveal me, a pink pegasus filly, with a burning roach in my right forehoof! I widen my eyes to her and say the obvious! “Oh, golly! A purple alicorn! Hi, mysterious purple alicorn!” She widens her own violet gaze, underneath her long blue mane, sporting two highlight streaks, before stuttering, “Uh, y-you’re smoking a joint!” I exhale smoke between us, and nod, “Yes! Yes I am indeed, smoking a joint!” before bring it to my mouth for another pull… I’m gonna get all I can out of this! “Why are you smoking a joint?” I take the mostly smoked roach out of my lips and exhale smoke again, “World’s just full of mysteries, huh?” Suddenly, I hear a familiar chanting voice behind her say, “I know it appears to be Cozy Glow without her curls! But this is no ordinary filly, as any conversation will unfurl!” Twilight gazes at me carefully, while I take another drag… “Is that so? Well, I know I legalized devil weed earlier, but Cozy er, Ophelia here is not of age!” I widen my eyes while holding the roach to my mouth and inhale as much as I can, before the flame peters out at the end of the cardboard joint tip… I stare at the frowning alicorn with my lungs now full of smoke… I gently move my forehoof to the glass ashtray to release the paper wrapped cardboard tip there, as I exhale a big cloud of smoke, towards Twilight Sparkle who now squints at me… She shakes her head, “Okay uh, dope smoking aside, you realize that your presence raises a lot of questions, right Ophelia?” I stare at Twilight in a sort of daze right now… “Golly, you don’t say?” She nods, “Zecora was telling me that you’re not Cozy Glow? Do you have any idea what happened to her?” I grin stupidly, “Funny true story Twilight, since I’m guessing that’s who you are, ” and widen my eyes. “I actually have no idea!” She frowns hard at this point, “Well, you’re right about me being Twilight, although I’m still not sure I should trust you?” My eyes widen, “Oh, Twilight, I really think you should!” Her eyebrow raises, “What?” I smile and nod, “Yes, Twilight, you should trust me, and I’ll tell you why! You see, I didn’t HAVE to write to you! I didn’t NEED to contact anypony, about me living up here, safely in the Everfree Forest!” Her brow normalizes, and muzzle frowns again, “So why did you contact me, Cozy er, Ophelia?” “Would you believe, I’m lonely?” Her violet eyes widen, when I think the Princess of Friendship smells an opportunity? “Wait! You’re lonely? Well, “her eyes dart to the side, “there is ONE solution I know of, to loneliness?” before back to me, and I notice the enormous GRIN forming on her face… “Are we gonna be friends now?” Her eyes widen to me, “What? Uh, “before going to the ceiling, “I don’t know? Maybe?” before back to me, “You seem like a pretty clever filly?” I stare carefully at this large purple pony and as the drugs begin to take hold of my system, I realize that I could probably turn this conversation around to my advantage? I then begin to think that I may have made more than one friend today? (To be continued… )
Chapter 9: When I Emerged...The enormous purple alicorn stares at me carefully, “So, what exactly do you know about friendship?” I widen my eyes, still in a half-daze from what I just smoked, “Oh, golly! What’s to know? It’s about two ponies, working together towards a common goal and getting along and being happy, and stuff, right?” before grinning widely at her… She stares at me blankly, and flatly states, “Well, it’s a start! What has Zecora been teaching you?” “Oh, lots of stuff!” Her eyes widen, “Like what?” “She taught me to go back to my breathing whenever I’m stressed out or flustered! She also taught me that while the world may be scary at points, not everypony is bad!” Her eyes widen, “Wait! Bad? Why would ponies be bad?” I frown, “Well, they normally just hurt you! That’s why the best policy is to hurt them first and betray them, before they can to it to you!” Wait, what? What am I talking about? She frowns, “You don’t need to betray ponies, Ophelia!” My eyes enlarge again, “I don’t?” A small smile forms on her face, “Well, Ophelia, how would you like to study friendship with me? I could give you lessons? You don’t have to reform alone!” “Uh, I’m not Cozy Glow, though?” She nods, “Well, be that as it may, you really don’t need to go into Equestria thinking you need to betray ponies!” before her eyes widen. “You need me!” “I do?” She thinks she’s so clever, trying to lead me! She nods again, “Nope! You got me now! I’ll teach you about friendship Ophelia! Me, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship!” I stare at this purple pony carefully and ponder to myself, This is probably the best way to becoming accepted in society again? “Oh, golly gee, Twilight Sparkle! That sure sounds like fun!” She continues staring at me and flatly states, “I still can’t get over how much like Cozy Glow, you are, and I can’t shake this feeling that something is amiss… “ before lowering her head, and forcing her horn to glow purple, and a beam then shoots out and strikes me! I’m enveloped in a violet glow with wide eyes as I shout at her, “Hey, what gives?” She smiles, “That’s a little insurance policy, Ophelia! If you are ever around any powerful magic, I’ll know about it!” I stare at her and say, “Oh, golly!” when suddenly, I hear the words, Sorry Ophelia! I was asleep! I sleep a lot! Uh, what just happened? She nods, “Right! And I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to give you a lesson, as soon as I’m done with some other royal duties I need to attend! Until that point, you are to remain in this house, is that understood?” I frown, “I think so?” She lowers her head again, and forces her horn to glow purple again, before it zaps me with violet energy! I widen my eyes, “What now?” She raises her head and smiles, “There! You cannot leave this house now! Ophelia, since that’s your new name.You are hereby placed under house arrest, and I will be back to check on you tomorrow afternoon! Is that clear?” “Um, okay!” You know, that really wouldn’t stop me! I hear Rowan say in my mind. That’s not the point! I say back, before smiling at the alicorn, and wondering if Zecora wants to fire up after this? “Got it Princess Twilight Sparkle!” She sighs, and says, “Just call me Twilight, please! If we are to be friends, there’s no need to formalities!” before rolling her eyes, “Oh, look at the way I’m talking! Uh, Ophelia, would you like a hug?” And at that point, time stood still for me… Hug her! That way, she’ll be of more use to us, later! What? No! She’s the enemy! Uh, right? I begin to wonder how much the strange voice has influenced the filly who was here before, before trotting forward, and being embraced by this large alicorn in a big loving hug! “I’m gonna die!” I squeak out, while being held firmly in her hooves. And as the alicorn lifts me, I see a smiling zebra with a Mohawk behind her, and I suddenly wonder if this was all an elaborate setup? They’re just playing you, you know? “I don’t trust you!” I flatly state while being held in her hooves… “That’s okay, Ophelia! You don’t have to, just yet! You’re in good hooves though, so don’t worry about it!” She says to me reassuringly… “I’m scared!” I say, before wondering why I did it? “That’s okay too, Ophelia… I’m here for you… “ Golly! It’s like she doesn’t understand that it’s her that scares me? I finally crack a smile, and matter-of-factly state, “That’s nice!” I wonder how she’s going to kill me? I’m still not sure I trust her completely just yet, although being her student would give us more opportunities for advancement… Wait, Rowan? Is that you, or? Is it me? Why do I think like this? I don’t know… Twilight smiles kindly as she sets me down and gently pats my head, almost in a motherly way. She looks me over for a moment, before speaking up again, “Ophelia, can I ask you something personal?” I widen my eyes, “Uh, if you want?” Better be ready to lie again… Wait… She sighs and smiles down at me, “Precisely how did you emerge, Ophelia? What I mean is, why isn’t Cozy Glow in there now? Where did you come from?” I can only frown and giggle somewhat, “I don’t know, okay?” Her smile and gaze both lowers, “So tell me Ophelia, what do you know?” I stare up at her, and once again, despite my better judgment, I tell her the truth! “Not a lot! I opened my eyes and I was on a brightly lit concrete platform, standing there in the hot midday sun! For some reason, I didn’t feel safe, and well, I saw this blue pony, and so I flew away! I flew up north into the Everfree Forest, and uh, that’s where I met Zecora!” She frowns, “Ophelia, why don’t you feel safe?” I frown, “Well, other ponies are almost always bad news! I mean, sure they can help me and get me stuff when I ask really nicely, but they’re usually up to no good… “ Her eyes widen, “Uh, when exactly did you start thinking this way, Ophelia?” I raise my gaze to the ceiling, “You know, I’m not sure about that either?” before bringing it back to her, “That’s another thing that sucks about not remembering stuff! I really don’t know anymore!” She brings her hoof to her snout while lowering her face, “Ugh!” before bringing it back down to gaze at me, “Well Ophelia, that too, is not your fault!” “It’s not?” Her eyes widen, “No! Why would it be?” “I don’t know?” We must move carefully and secretly… I hear the voice in my head chime in… I should probably talk to them later? She sighs again, “Well, I must now take my leave of you filly! Do your best, and if you’re not sure if anything is right or ethical, ask Zecora, okay?” I smile, and gaze at her blankly, “You got it!” Her tall body is soon enveloped in a purple glow, similar to the one that zapped me earlier, and her body and the glow soon disappear to reveal a zebra behind it, with a Mohawk mane-cut and a grin on her face… What just happened, must make her happy? A look at her and say the one thing that’s been on my mind for awhile now… “Hey, can we eat something? I’m hungry!” <*****> Zecora smiles at me from her side of the table, and I see the sunlight coming from her big patio window outback at her shed, as it glimmers off her golden neck rings and enormous hoop earrings, and says, “So, now that you are Twilight’s student, your position has changed! But I must wonder, are you entirely sane?” I stare at her and bluntly state, “I don’t know?” I gaze at this kind zebra, as she says, “That’s okay too, young foal! I will teach you to be better! It will be good for your soul!” Why does that irritate me? I widen my eyes, “What?” She nods, “Yes, I will teach you yoga and meditation now, on top of Twilight! You will be an entirely new filly, and will finally see the light… Does she not know who I am? “Oh, golly!” I flatly state, before I use my forehooves to pick up a carrot from the dinner she prepared for us… I really don’t want to talk anymore… “Are you alright Ophelia? You’re not eating very fast, and your food usually doesn’t last.” I stare at her and say, “Uh, Zecora! I’m not hungry anymore! Can I uh, can I um, please go to bed now?” and smile at her timidly… She frowns, “It is still quite early young one! But if you believe you’ve had enough, go ahead and end the fun!” I then say something weird! “Uh, Z-Zecora! Can I have a hug, please?” She smiles, “Of course Ophelia! You are always supported and loved! If you need reminding, then we’ll give it a shove!” before disembarking from her chair, and beginning to trot around the oval shaped table, from the far side on the left… CLIP… CLOP… CLIP… CLOP… She approaches me, and I see her body grow bigger, before lifting herself up on her hind legs, to embrace me in a warm hug! My eyes widen! “I forget that you zebras can do that!” before timidly returning the embrace with my own two hooves… <*****> I closed the window drapes, because the sun was still shining on my bed… I hate having a southern exposure! I stare up at the thatched ceiling, as I lie there in my tiny room, and just breathed and thought… In breath… Do I entirely trust Zecora? Well, she hasn’t given me any indication that she’s bad yet, right? Out breath... Then why do I keep thinking she’s going to hurt me? I close my eyes and breathe again… In breath… Twilight might also be bad? Oh, golly! Why am I talking to them? Out breath… I REALLY don’t want to think anymore… I just want sleep now… In breath… Out breath… <*****> I raise my view from the bed, to see a pink pegasus filly standing there, with her little wings at her side, neatly arranged bluish-white curls in her mane, and a smirk on her freckled face, under the glow of my ceiling lamp! She’s just barely in front of my door… “Hello again, Ophelia!” My neck has my face propped her direction, “Hello again, Rowan!” She frowns, “Wait! Who’s Rowan?” I widen my eyes with this new bit of information! “Uh, never mind!”If that’s not Rowan, then that could only mean… “Cozy Glow, is it?” She grumpily retorts, “Well, I’m not Rowan, whoever that is?” I realize this is my chance! “Why aren’t you in charge anymore? And just where did I come from, anyway?” She smiles widely… “Do you really wanna know?” (To be continued… )
Chapter 10: The Ideal FillyI nod laying on the bed, “Um, yeah!” before blinking at the other pink pegasus filly, “I mean uh, yes! I want to know where I came from!” Cozy sighs, and stares at me carefully, “You know, I thought I killed you!” I frown, “What?” Cozy smiles and chuckles, “Yeah, I tied you up and threw you into a ravine! You seriously don’t remember that?” I’m flabbergasted, “Why did you try to kill me?” Her eyes widen, as she leans closer, “So you wouldn’t get in the way! Duh!” I look over to my round nightstand, and use my hoof to slide over my metal box… “Uh, what are you doing?” She asks me. “Don’t worry about it! I’m just rolling something! So uh, why am I in charge now?” I say, as I lift my body up with my forehoof, to sit on my haunches in front of the table. She’s silent as I open the top latch, flip the top over, and use the clefts of my hooves to fetch a red pack of rolling papers and a plastic baggy, containing many green fluffy buds… After getting my implements on the nightstand, where I can work with them, I stare over at the silent pegasus filly, and ask her, “Well?” She stares at me with wide open brown eyes, and a straight face… “Do you really wanna know?” I get out a nugget of herb, and proceed to hoof-grind it on the table, and she says, “Well, yeah! Kinda!” while I watch the process… “I didn’t want to do it anymore, Ophelia… “ I see the weed nugget being crushed and ground underneath my hoof… “What?” “I didn’t want to live anymore, Ophelia… So I stayed asleep… “ I collect a white rolling paper, and put it on the table, sticky side up, and start moving bits of green stuff onto it, “You know, that still doesn’t explain where I came from!” “Y-yeah! I’m not exactly sure about that, either? I guess it was because I didn’t go in there, they naturally threw in the only other pony available, ipso facto, you took charge!” I look up to see her blink in confusion, “Well, that’s probably what happened!” As I lift the paper taco to my snout to lick it, I say to her, “So you really don’t know, huh?” She blinks again, “Well, no! Not really! Uh,” she adjusts her gaze to me, “Ophelia! Are you rolling a joint?” “Kinda!” I reply, before licking the sticky side, and rolling the joint up from the bottom, and twisting with my hoof cleft, to make it extra tight… “I never smoked dope!” I lick the cigarette, and stick one end into my mouth, “You know, things change!” before reaching towards my nightstand for my trusty red hoof lighter! “Oh, golly!” She bleakly says, as I inhale the flame to the end of the joint and soon taste a woody flavor on my tongue… Cozy stares at me with enormous eyes, as I remove the joint from my mouth with my right hoof and exhale a cloud of smoke… “Golly… “ She lowly repeats herself… I stare at her and ask the obvious question, “So Cozy! What now? Why are you here, now?” before bringing the cigarette to my snout for another pull… “I…can’t go away, Ophelia… “ She brings her face closer to me and blinks, “Well, not really!” I exhale a stream of warm smoke, before staring back down at her, “What?” “I can’t die, Ophelia… “ She says, before raising her gaze to me, “Not completely… Not while you’re still alive… “ I exhale another cloud from this particularly satisfying wake n bake session, and stare down at her, “Wait, you want to die?” and then ashing into the tray… She nods, “Y-yes Ophelia! I don’t want to live anymore! My whole life has been awful! I…” before blinking, “remember the orphanage and the way they treated me… I was always fed, and housed in warmness, but it wasn’t real… It wasn’t real warmth, Ophelia… “ I exhale another gust of smoke, before staring down at her again, “Is that why you tried to take over Equestria?” A maniacal grin forms on her face, while I taste more warm herb on my tongue, “YES!” and she stares at me intently, “If love wasn’t real, then what did it matter? I decided that the only way I could ever be happy is if I forced other ponies to be my friends!” and nods… I exhale smoke, and reach down to ash the joint with my hoof again, before turning back to her, “Uh, are you okay Cozy? Do you want to smoke?” “N-no! I think I’ll go back to sleep now… You be careful, okay Ophelia?” She says while intently staring at me… I nod with my lips still on the half-joint, and she turns around to slowly trot towards the door two paces, before she opens it with her forehoof, and she trots outside, before closing the door… I am now alone again… Me and my joint… I exhale another cloud of smoke… <******> I open my eyes… I quickly gaze to my glass ashtray, and I can’t help but notice the half smoked joint there! I feel my mane fall on my back, as I get up to my haunches on the bed… “Golly… I really did smoke this morning… “ I blink, before going to all fours, and flapping my wings, to hover over to the door, and opening it with my hooves, and floating into the foyer beyond… The zebra on the green beanbag chair, just on the far side of the table, suddenly looks up and smiles at me, “I see you are awake, little one! There is morning tea, and herb, so come join the fun!” I widen my eyes as I slowly begin to float towards the blue beanbag chair across from her, “I uh, don’t feel so great, Zecora! I kinda uh… “ Her eyes widen, “Is something wrong, foal? Come tell me, it’s good for your soul!” I stare at her, and wonder just how I’m gonna word this? “I finally met Cozy Glow… “ Her muzzle goes to a frown, “What?” I nod, “She talked to me, in a dream! Uh, except it wasn’t a dream!” Her eyebrow raises, “Do, go on Ophelia? If you indeed, met Cozy Glow, your interactions I’d very much like to know!” I gulp, “She doesn’t want to be alive anymore, Zecora… That’s why I’m here… Because she isn’t… “ “A sad report indeed, but not for loss of hope, for Cozy Glow simply needs a better way to cope!” I frown, “Cope?” She nods, “Mhm! If she could deal better with life, and whatever it gave her, she would not be so wrought with strife! She needs to come to terms with just who and what she is, and through this, acceptance, can peace be what is!” “Golly!” She nods again, “So when you see Cozy Glow again, you will tell her that she simply needs to understand her place, and only then can reality be faced!” “Oh, golly!” I repeat myself… You know, I didn’t really feel much like smoking, but now I kinda wanna burn!" I look up at her, “Zecora! Can we please smoke devil weed, now?” She smiles at me, “In a moment after tea, I shall roll! But first, why not have a cup during the lull? It’s mango hibiscus!” That tea also sounds pretty good, actually! I widen my eyes, “Uh, yes please!” <*****> Once again, I’m laying on the bed, with my hooves and wings at my sides, and staring up at the same darkened thatched ceiling… This bed is a lot more comfortable than it looks… I note in my head… I let out a large audible sigh… I just don’t know what to do? Wait! Am I actually worried about Cozy Glow? I don’t even know Cozy Glow! That can’t be right? I blow the strand of my hair away from my face and stare up at the ceiling again… Rowan? Are you there? Yes, Ophelia? My eyes widen, It’s been like, two days! Where the hay have you been? Y-yes! I know! And I’m sorry about that Ophelia… I whisper, “Just where were you, anyway?” There is silence in my mind… “Well?” I uh, I don’t know, okay? “What do you mean, you don’t know?” Just that! I kinda reappeared later, and I don’t know what happened? I stare up at the ceiling and grumpily whisper, “Great! Cozy wants to die, and Rowan is fading out of existence! I wonder what else is going on?” Ophelia? Are you okay? “I guess Zecora could try to kill me? That could be fun?” Ophelia, you’re kinda going off the deep end! “Well, I guess I could always go take care of myself?” Ophelia, what are you talking about? I get up from the bed, and get to my hooves to begin trotting to my window on the other side of my bed, next to the wall… Ophelia, what are you doing? <*****> I land on my hooves, outside the window, on the side of the hut… I breathe through my mouth… In and out… I begin trotting towards the other trail, as my eyes slowly grow accustomed to the pale moonlight from Luna, overhead… The cool air feels nice on my skin, as I trot in-between the trees, and brush, to walk down the darkened path… CLIP CLOP… Ophelia? Are you there? I keep trotting and I notice the trail abruptly ends about 50 yards ahead of me… Ophelia? What are you doing? The ending grows nearer, as I continue down the path… CLIP CLOP… I finally reach the end, and I stand there on my hooves, gazing at the scenic landscape, Ophelia? What are you thinking about? I think about how nothing makes sense to me anymore… I think about Cozy Glow, who said she didn’t want to live anymore, and I think about what life really means to me… I ponder all these things as I stare off into the abyss of the raging waterfalls below… That’s massive… I probably wouldn’t make it? Ophelia, what are you doing? Please talk to me! I say out loud, “Cozy Glow doesn’t want to live anymore… “ But what about you, Ophelia? What do you want? I close my eyes and say, “I don’t know anymore… I uh, I’m not sure if I ever really did? I don’t know who I am! And I don’t know anything!” You don’t need to jump, you know? We can all be together! Look! I don’t know why I exist, nor do I know who Cozy Glow or you, really are! But this is not the answer! I open my eyes, “How would you know?” The voice is silent for a moment… I know more than you’d think, Ophelia… “Do you now? Do you really know me?” I say, before shaking my head, to begin trotting back to the hut… I know Cozy Glow tried to kill herself… I enlarge my gaze at the massive roaring rapids below, and whisper, “W-what?” Yeah, funny true story! She leapt off the side of a cliff, kinda like what you’re about to do… I see the mists coming from the booming waterfalls below, and whisper back, “What happened?” She pulled up and flew back at the last possible moment… I look down and think about Cozy falling into a valley… Look! Just don’t off yourself, okay Ophelia? You know, that is the ONE SUREFIRE way of making sure this never gets solved, right? I sigh, and turn to begin the trot back home… Ophelia? Are you going to talk to me? I continue to trot home in silence, underneath the dark forest canopy… After the waterfall sound diminishes, I hear crickets in the forest… <*****> That same thatched roof is now overhead, as I stare at it blankly… “I don’t want anything bad to happen to Cozy Glow… “ I quietly mutter to myself… “But who is Cozy Glow? And who am I?” I close my eyes, because I don’t want to think anymore… Why can’t I just be normal, like every other filly? I feel liquid flowing out of my right eye as I drift off... <*****> “Hello again, Ophelia!” I hear a familiar voice say, as the darkness underneath my eyelids grows bright… I open my eyes and prop myself up to see a familiar curly-maned pink pegasus filly standing there, her freckled face and sparkling brown eyes now illuminated by the lamp overhead... I glance to the left towards my wooden round nightstand, before reaching my forehoof there, to snag the roach, still sitting in my ashtray… I scoot around and land on the floor from the bed with three of my hooves, while my left front hoof continues to hold the joint… I stick it in my mouth, and as I reach for the red hoof lighter on the edge of the table, I say, “Now, where were we?” (To be continued… )
Chapter 11: Me, Cozy, and Zecora“You wanna smoke dope, huh?” Cozy says back to me, with large brown eyes. The sides of my mouth go towards my eyes as I utter out the side, “Golly, right I do! You, Rowan, and everypony else, stress me out!” The lighter strikes in front of me, as the pink filly beyond it says, “L-look! I didn’t want to be any trouble, okay?” I inhale to soon taste the warm smoke going down my throat… She frowns, “I guess I should just do my best to stay asleep, while you’re around, huh?” I exhale smoke between us and say, “What are you saying, Cozy? Uh, is Cozy Glow your original name? I’ve been meaning to ask you that.” I clamp on the smoke, while Cozy says to me, “Well, not really, no! My original name is Twinkle Sprinkle! Yeah, funny true story!” and scratches the back of her neck with a forehoof, “I always hated that name!” Her hoof lowers, while I blow smoke, and say, “Well, that’s fine! You can be Cozy Glow, if you don’t wanna be Twinkle Sprinkle! Nopony is stopping you!” I catch my breath… In and out… Cozy says, “Okay, so I’m Cozy Glow.” And I nod, “Right! And apparently, Zecora named me Ophelia…” “This is also true!” “Right… “ And I suddenly realize just how awkward this is, and decide to take another drag of my roach! “So, I guess I’ll go back to sleep now, huh?” I exhale smoke, before staring directly at this filly, and saying, “The buck you will, Cozy! Sit down!” Her eyes widen, “What are you saying?” I blink, “I’m saying that I like you, Cozy Glow! I’m saying, you don’t have to sleep all the time… “ A smile begins to form on her muzzle, “Y-you mean it Ophelia?” “Yes! Now get in here, demon child! I still got a few drags left… ” I say, before grumpily taking another drag off my little roach… Her eyes widen, “Oh, golly! You need to clip that soon!” I look at her, “What?” She smiles, and trots over to my polished wooden square dresser on the side of the room, reaches on the top, and takes off the shiny metal bobby pin, and then trots to me, puts the pin in her mouth, and then reaches her snout towards the roach, being held in my cleft, and I feel a snap feeling there, and she moves her snout back away from me, before staring my direction, and smiling, “There! Now, you can grab that bobby pin and smoke off the roach that way, and you won’t get burned! It’s called clipping the roach!” * I reach towards the pin with my snout, and release my cleft from the roach to grab the pin, and wonder, just where this filly learned about drugs? She grins and giggles, “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe how uptight Chrysalis is, without her morning smoke!” and then begins to smile warmly, all the way… I widen my eyes as I stare at this other filly, and decide to ignore it, before bringing to roach to my mouth, for another draw… She breaths out her snout, before looking at me, “But I never did that… So that makes me wonder why you do?” and her mouth grows small… I close my eyes, before raising my snout towards the ceiling, and exhaling a big cloud of smoke… I then look back down at Cozy, and smile, as I say, “Well, it makes me feel good, and it makes the monsters in my head go away… “ Her eyes widen, “Monsters?” My own gaze enlarges too, “Yeah! Ever since I woke up, I sometimes have these bad feelings, and well, when I’m high, it all goes away… “ “Golly!” I nod, and take my last inhale, as a bit of ash drips off the front of the roach, and then bring the roach to the glass ashtray on the table, and rub it back and forth, so it goes out, while I exhale a final puff of smoke… I decide to leave it there, but make a mental note, for the future.** She frowns, “So what then? You’re just gonna continue getting high?” I narrow my eyes and breathe out deeply out of my snout, “Golly yeah… “ She sighs, “Well, um, I won’t bother you then!” before she turns around… I know I have to stop her now! “Wait, Cozy!” She turns around, and widens her eyes, “Yes, Ophelia?” I gulp, as I think for a second on how to word this? “Why did you try to kill yourself?” Her eyes enlarge all the way, as she frowns again, “What? I never tried to kill myself!” “Rowan said you did!” She furrows her brow, “Just who the hay is Rowan?” “The voice in your head that told you to do bad things… I uh, gave it a name… “ She frowns and stops, as her eyes widen, “Golly! You gave them a name!” I nod, “Yeah, and you jumped off a cliff, remember?” She blinks and I see her shoulders lower slowly, “I uh… I just didn’t see the point, Ophelia… I already told you, remember?” I nod, “Yeah, but you never told me that you actually tried? Is that where you got the idea on how to kill me?” “Y-yeah Ophelia, I’m REALLY sorry about that!” You know, it’s so strange to me, because I don’t really remember any of this… I wonder where I was? “What exactly did you do, Cozy?” She takes a deep breath with her snout, and says, “Well, I kinda tied you up and threw you into a waterfall ravine, just like I said… “ “Was this waterfall inside the Everfree Forest?” She blinks, “Um, how did you know?” “Uh, lucky guess!” I lie… She’s silent, before finally asking me, “You’ve been there, huh?” I sigh, “Well, kinda… It’s really beautiful!” “What were you thinking about?” I stare at this filly carefully… “Do you really wanna know?” Her eyes widen, and she nods, “Well, yeah! I kinda do?” The second wave of what I just smoked suddenly begins to take hold, and as my body grows numb, I say to her, “I was wondering what the whole point was? I was wondering why I am? Why I have all these different voices and ponies in my head, and why you somehow exist separately from me? Like, we’re two different fillies, really, but we’re somehow both here, in this body!” I close my eyes, as I feel a floating feeling begin to form in my mind… “I just wanted to know why?” “Golly, you know, I’m not sure either? But you know, I am real, and I do exist inside you… “ I look at her and breathe out my nose, “Yeah, I know Cozy… That’s why I’m trying to tell you that you belong!” She blinks, “Yeah, uh, what?” I smile, “I accept you, Cozy Glow! And you’re welcome in my life!” “Are you still gonna go by Ophelia?” “Considering what’s attached to your name, I think it’s for the best?” She nods, and trots towards me… I widen my eyes, “What are you doing, Cozy?” Suddenly, she embraces me in a hug! “I love you, Ophelia!” Okay, I did not see that coming! I think to myself, as I carefully return the hug with my own forehooves… <*****> I open my eyes, to feel my forehooves wrapped around my body, as I stare at the thatched ceiling. “I’m hugging myself… “ I matter-of-factly whisper… I release myself, and raise to my haunches on the bed, “Was any of that real?” I turn to look at the ashtray to see there’s a bobby pin sitting in one of the holders, hanging onto a very small bit of resin, wrapped in a burnt paper… “Just what the hay is going on?” I whisper to myself in confusion… I bring my forehoof to my forehead, and feel that it’s kinda warm… “Did I really get high? Who was I talking to? Cozy Glow?” I grimace… “I don’t know who I am anymore?” *** Suddenly, there’s a knock on my wooden door, there in the hut! I look at the door, now with tribal decorations, of a mask and spear, on either side, “Yes?” I don’t hear the voice I expect! “Can I come in?” I hear Cozy, say from the other side… I widen my eyes and frown, “No! I’m awake now! Uh, r-right?” “Ophelia? Are you okay?” I hear Zecora say from the other side, “Ophelia! What are you doing here? And I see you curled your mane and tail! A nice touch, my dear!” I say to myself, “Wait a minute! Oh, golly! Cozy Glow is here, too! She’s talking to Zecora now!” I hear her say, “Oh, golly! A zebra! Didn’t you work at the School of Friendship?” “Yes, this is true! But you know me, don’t you see?” “Oh, golly! Cozy Glow is talking to Zecora!” My body is frozen in place… I begin breathing, I need to go out there! I think to myself! “Uh, yeah, I’ve seen you, but I don’t remember your name!” I take off to fly towards the door! In breath! I grasp the knob with my forehooves, while my hind hooves, press against the other side, and I flap my wings furiously, to open it quickly and I float out into the foyer! Out breath! <*****> I float in the room and turn my neck towards the curly-maned pink pegasus filly on my right, and say, “You’re not Ophelia! I am! You’re Cozy Glow!” The zebra turns to me, floating in the air, and smiles, “I see, my enchantment worked, smooth! Now, I can talk to Cozy Glow too!” The other filly turns her head up towards me, in the air, where I flap my wings to stay afloat, before turning back to Zecora, and then, back between us, to say, “Oh, golly!”**** Zecora smiles, “We all have much to discuss! There is no need to fuss, so come sit down Ophelia… “ I repeat the other filly, “Oh, golly!” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *This is an actual process I use in my habit. However, since I tip most of my joints, I rarely clip them anymore… **Also something I commonly do in my practice. She could burn it off the clip with a lighter, and inhale it from there, or alternatively, she might break it apart over a bowl of pot in a pipe, to give it resin chunks for firepower… Or at least, those are the two things I usually do! ***To be honest, I didn’t plan out any of this, but by this point, I’m pretty sure Ophelia is literally insane? ****Oh, golly! Now there’s two of them!
Chapter 12: Ophelia's Magical Twin SisterI timidly float over towards the red beanbag chair, just to the side of Cozy, and across the table from the zebra… I slow my flapping, as I go over that chair, and gently land, to feel the cloth covering on my hind legs and hooves, before I use my forehooves to position them, so I sit cross-legged, like Zecora! Cozy continues to have her butt and hind legs parked on the blue beanbag chair, just to the right of it, and I face the smiling old shaman, as she stares at us both with loving yellow eyes and her earrings glint a golden glow from the sunlight, coming out of the window… * “Now that you are no longer one, I can tell you apart, under the sun!” I turn to her and say, “You’re Cozy Glow!” She turns to me and says, “And you’re Ophelia!” I still don’t know how to approach this? “I have no idea how to talk to you!” And I also can’t believe I actually admitted that! She frowns, “Yeah, it’s like, you’re me, but not me, you know?” before her mouth straightens. “I still can’t believe you smoke dope, now!” I roll my eyes, “Oh, please! Like you never had any bad habits!” She widens her eyes, “Okay, granted! But you’re smoking devil weed!” “And sometimes poison joke!” She nods, “Yeah! That shit! I can’t believe you!” “You did try to kill ponies and take over Equestria, remember?” She blinks with a start… And finally says, “Okay, point taken! Blaze away!” Then, Zecora finally decides to speak, “Had I not known you were both from the same filly, I’d just think you twins, acting silly! You’re sharing of past sins, as entertaining as it is!” Yay! I get to smoke dope! Wait a minute? “Uh, so what now, Zecora?” She nods, “Now, I shall give you a choice! A decision for you two to make! Do you wish to be as one, once more, or stay as two for your sake?” I frown, “You think it would be healthier if we stayed separate, huh?” Cozy says, “Golly!” while gazing at the zebra. She closes her eyes and nods, “Mhm! For you two to have distinction, a little separation is preferable to extinction!” At that point, time stopped for me, while the other filly grew flustered, “Golly dammit! Why is it that EVERYPONY suddenly knows about my suicide attempt, when there was nopony around, when I actually did it?” Zecora turns to Cozy, and as her Mohawk turns, says, “You attempted to end your life? Not surprising, as you cannot get along, without strife!” I point at Cozy with my left hoof, “I was getting along just fine with Cozy, last night!” Cozy still stares at Zecora, and pouts, “Yeah! We were talking and junk!” Zecora remains calm and nods, as if she had expected this sort of response from the us. "Indeed, it is true that you have found moments of peace, between the hours of midnight and noon. But can you maintain this unity, in the face of your past mistakes, so soon?" Cozy lowers her head and looks down at the floor, clearly uncomfortable with the mention of her past actions. I note this in my periphery, while keeping my gaze at Zecora, “You know, I’m still not even sure how long I was actually frozen in stone for?” She turns to me, and matter-of-factly states, “Twenty-seven years… “** I widen my eyes, “Golly!” Cozy stares at Zecora, “So, wait! Everypony I knew is all old, now!” The shaman’s eyes widen, “Well, twenty-seven years will change a pony quite a bit, this is true! But there doesn’t appear to be much age, on you!” Cozy blinks, and scowls, “Well, duh! Of course, I didn’t age! I was trapped in stone! Ugh!” and closes her eyes, while cringing in frustration. But I see the wisdom in Zecora’s words and turn to say, “No, Cozy! Don’t you see? We’re still pretty young! We got our whole lives ahead of us! That’s the one good thing of being trapped in stone!” She stares at me, “And there’s two of us, now!” She turns to me, “Well, I guess that’s true?” I gaze at her carefully, and consider just who she is… “Cozy, does this mean, you’re gonna try to manipulate me?” She frowns at me, “Doubt it would work, really? I mean, you were the good parts, after all!” I frown, “What do you mean?” She sighs, “Well, I thought you were the good parts of the pink filly we were both in, so I kinda tried to kill you earlier!” My eyes widen, “But that didn’t work, did it?” She stares up at me, “No, not really! So then, I tried to kill myself!” *** “But that also failed!” She narrows her eyes at me, as her mouth grows small, “Well, duh!” “Wait! That doesn’t make any sense! You went down the waterfall, before I did!” Cozy nods, “Well, yeah! But do you honestly believe that was the first time I tried to kill myself?” I frown, “So, you’ve been trying to off yourself, all this time?” She smiles, “Well, a couple of times!” Zecora finally interjects, “But that was when you were one, but now that you are two, you can have more fun!” I turn to her, “Yeah, now we’re separate fillies!” Zecora smiles and nods, “Yes, you are now two! But you can go back to a single filly, if it does not suite you!” Cozy asks her, “Does this mean we can join as one, or split, whenever we want?” I add, “That would be cool!” Zecora turns to face her, and smiles, “Not quite, little one! If you go back, it’s permanent, and not just for fun!” I turn to Cozy, “So we’re separate, unless we decide to become one again, but if we do, that’s permanent!” Her brown eyes widen, “Golly!” I frown, “Since you’re no longer in this body, I’m gonna go smoke a joint, now!” Her eyes widen, “Wait! Which one of us has the voice?” My own gaze enlarges, “You mean, Rowan?” “Yeah, I mean, does he just talk to both of us now, or is there separate Rowans?” Suddenly, I hear a familiar unisex voice in my head, I can hear you, you know! And actually, ever since Sombra created me, I can go to certain heads and talk to them! Since Cozy Glow is from you, I can talk to her, as well! I frown, “Wait! Sombra created you?” Cozy widens her eyes, “What? Sombra? Who are you talking to?” Yes, I was free, after Sombra was banished, and I saw how persuasive Cozy Glow was at the orphanage, and decided to speak with her, and get her to take over Equestria! “What made you think Cozy Glow could do it, though?” Cozy furrows her brow, and says sharply, “I’m right here, you know!” I lift my right hoof, “No, it’s Rowan! Sombra created them to try to take over Equestria! They found us at the orphanage, and thought they could use us!” And I would’ve have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling ponies! Cozy’s eyes widen, “Golly!” Zecora interjects, “Forgive me for being so bold, but I believe you’re talking about something I was never told?” I stare at the old shaman, and time stops… Do I tell her about Rowan? Will she think I’m insane? I say, “When me and Cozy were one, a voice tried to get us to take over Equestria, using the power of manipulation!” Cozy stares at her and adds, “Yeah, and this filly over here named the voice Rowan!” The zebra frowns, “But now you are no longer under their control, and can do as you please, but they are yet free?” I blink, and nod, “Um, y-yeah! We can both hear Rowan! I uh, I think?” Cozy blinks, “How would I know?” Zecora nods and smiles, “Know this, young fillies! Through no force of arms, could a voice ever make you do as they say! As such, just follow your own moral compass, to light the way!” I smile at the wise old shaman, “Of course! It doesn’t matter what they say! Only what we do!” Cozy stares at me, “That’s another good point! Rowan never made me do those things! I uh, golly, I’m really sorry about that!” before widening her eyes… She frowns, “Wait… I uh, I did those things, huh? I tried to kill Fluttershy!” I smile at the nervous pink filly, “Cozy Glow, it’s okay now… You’re here with me, and you’re safe… “ and then, I lean towards her to do the unthinkable… I hug her! I whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, Cozy… I’m here for you! You’re not alone!” Cozy half-smiles as she begins to giggle, before gently raising her hooves about halfway up my body to return the hug… “My magical twin sister!” Zecora speaks up, “I shall begin preparing Cozy’s room, quickly, and she shall have a desk, table, and chair, with bed, so she won’t be cold and sickly!” I release the other filly and turn to widen my eyes at the zebra, “You know, this shack is a lot bigger than it looks!” <*****> I finally get to taste precious weed on my tongue, as I inhale from the joint, held in the cleft of my right hoof… Suddenly, I feel it wash over me, and my shoulders fall, as my body begins to relax… I narrow my eyes in satisfaction, before bringing the joint to the glass ashtray on my right, and flicking to release the excess… Golly, shit! I have a sister now! I think to myself, before bringing the joint to my lips, once more, for another drag… She better not stress me out! I think to myself, while tasting weed go down my throat… Suddenly, there’s a knock on my door! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I take out the stoge, exhale smoke, and look at the door to say, “Yes, Zecora?” I hear a feminine squeaky voice on the other side say, “I-it’s me, Ophelia! Can I come in, please?” I widen my eyes! What the? “Uh, come on in, Cozy!” I say, before taking another hit… Stupid filly, interrupting my smoke time! The door opens, and I see a somber young pink filly trot in, with sunken eyes, a deep frown on her face, and a shake in her voice, as she humbly asks me, “Um, Ophelia? C-could you please sleep in my room tonight, with me? I’m scared… “ You know, I really did not see that coming! I smile, “Why don’t you stay in here, with me, Cozy? You might feel safer?” She frowns, “In the room that smells like devil weed?” I smile like a maniac, and nod, “Yup!” before staring at her, while taking another drag… “Ugh!” She cringes, and rolls her eyes, before bringing them to me, “FINE! We’ll stay in the dope room!” Yay! I won! Uh, what did I just say? (To be continued… ) Author's Note *If Cozy were to cross her left hind hoof, over her left, and stick her tongue out her mouth, she would be sitting in the Lion’s Breath pose, that I do for my throat chakra sometimes, in yoga… Aka Simhasana. **There’s a reason I chose twenty-seven years… I call it the “10,000 day curse” in my head… ***These are actual confessions by me, in a way.
Chapter 13: Beyond Good and EvilI’m not alone in bed, right now… My eyes are closed, but I can feel the warmth of the other filly, sleeping behind me… She seemed kind of worried? Wait, if she’s the bad parts of us, does that mean she’s evil? And now, she’s sleeping behind me… Why do I trust her, so quickly and easily? Is she my… My sister now? We’re both from the same filly! And then, she squeaks out the unthinkable… “I love you, Ophelia!” She tried to kill me, you know… … Stupid idiot… “I love you too, Cozy!” Then, she does something far more terrifying… She gets close to me and snuggles me! I feel her hoof going over my body as I ask, “What are you doing, Cozy?” I feel the legs clamp on me, as she embraces me in a loving hug… … I am now trapped with the other filly… Golly shit! I think to myself, in my brain… And it’s only then that I suddenly notice the 12-foot tall, smiling purple alicorn staring at us both, from the center of the room! “Uh, Cozy! We’re being watched!” She mumbles back, “Tell them to go away! I want more snuggles!” Golly dammit! This is horrible! I should say something to break this! “Princess Twilight! Fancy seeing you here!” Okay, that could’ve been said better… “You two are ADORABLE!!!!” The alicorn gushes! I hear Cozy behind me, “Ten more minutes! Ugh… “ Makes me wonder what she was like earlier? “Um, that’s fine! I wanted to speak more with Zecora, anyway! Just come out, whenever you’re ready! Snuggle away, fillies!” The alicorn says, before vanishing in a purple flash! I blankly stare at the wall, away from the bed, “I want a joint!” “I need to pee!” The filly says, from behind me, before giving me an affectionate squeeze! So, Twilight knows now! Wait, what exactly does she know? <*****> I ponder to myself, as I sit on the stool, and bring the burning joint to my mouth, for a pull… I taste weed as I hear Cozy squeaking back to Twilight… I wonder what Twilight is saying back, as I hear her muffled speech, from behind the door… Eventually, I exhale a big puff of smoke… Right as the door opens, I suddenly see the same purple alicorn from earlier, with a big grin on her face, “Alright Ophelia! Cozy Glow here is on house arrest and not permitted to see other ponies, until we know more about her! You’re in charge, and uh,” she lifts her snout to sniff the air, before looking down on me, as I take another hit, “Are you smoking devil weed, again?” I exhale smoke again, and stare at her, “No! It’s just an amazing simulation!” and then, bring the joint to my mouth, for another drag… She cringes, and rolls her eyes, “Ugh! One is a villain, and the other is a junkie!” before staring back at me, “Still, you and Zecora probably have the best shot of reforming Cozy Glow!” I nod, “Well, I do love and care about her, you know!” Did I actually mean that? I wonder, before taking another drag of the half-joint… Twilight’s eyebrow raises, as she considers me carefully, “Do you, now? Well, she did say that you were the good parts, of her… “ before starting, “Which could only mean that Cozy out there, must be evil!” I exhale smoke to the side, before gazing at her, “You don’t know that for sure, you know?” Twilight lowers her view, “What do you mean?” “I’m saying, we only think that she’s evil, and that I’m good, just based on what? Her speculation? The world could be a lot more complex, you realize!” She frowns, while I inhale smoke, “Uh, Ophelia, you bring up a very good point, actually!” I exhale smoke between the two of us, as I lower my shoulders, and say, “See? I know stuff, too!” Suddenly, we both hear a squeaky voice from behind the door shout, “I AM TOO, EVIL!” I can’t help but smile at this, while taking another hit from my warm joint… Twilight turns and says, “No, Cozy! Don’t you see? This means that you won’t need to be turned to stone, again! It means that we might be able to reform you, after all!” I exhale smoke and stare at the door behind the princess, “She’s got a good point, you know! You really should take the deal!” The voice is silent… Before finally saying, “I-I’m not evil?” Twilight says, “Not if you don’t want to be, Cozy! You can choose to be good! You can make the right choice!” The voice is silent again… “Can I come in?” I lower my view, exhale smoke, and say, “Yeah, come on in little filly! The more, the merrier!” before turning to right and moving my forehoof that direct, to ash my joint in the glass ashtray… The door opens, and both me and Twilight behold a tiny curly maned pink filly, who sniffs the air, and asks me, “Ophelia! Have you been smoking in here?” I widen my eyes, “No, not at all! I’d never smoke!” I say, before bringing the joint to my snout again… She shakes her head, and says, “Oh, of course!” before trotting in and staring at Twilight, “If I’m not evil, why did I try to kill her?” before pointing at me with her right wing… Twilight calmly states, “Because you were confused, Cozy! But the thing is, you can’t kill parts of yourself! Not without killing yourself in the process!” Cozy gazes up at her carefully, “So, no matter how bad she got hurt, she could never die?” Twilight sighs, and nods, before saying, “That is correct!” Cozy gazes at me with enormous brown eyes! “Oh, golly! I am SO SORRY about that, Ophelia! The pain must have been horrible?” I stare at her blankly, and flatly say, “You know, the thing is, I don’t even remember!” Cozy shakes her head, and says, “N-no, Ophelia! It’s not okay… I want to make it up to you… “ “I uh, I never said it was okay, but truthfully, I’m not even mad!” before taking another drag of that sweet sweet joint in my forehoof! I’m not addicted! I can quit anytime I want… Shut up… Twilight widens her eyes and stares at the curly filly, just beyond the door, “Cozy, do you mean to say that youactuallyfeel legitimate remorse, for your actions?” She blinks, “I uh, I think maybe I do? I think maybe having a sister has changed me? I’m not sure, but I do know that uh… “ and smiles, “I do know that I love Ophelia, very much!” What’s going on here? I silently wonder to myself… I exhale another cloud of smoke, and reach forward to ash into the glass tray, waiting there, with a half-joint waiting in one of the holders, for later, and saying, “You’re an idiot!” before taking another drag… Twilight smiles at me, “Don’t you like the way your sister Cozy Glow, loves you, Ophelia?” I exhale smoke between the two of us, and the alicorn sniffs the smoke, before frowning weirdly, at me, “Yes, of course! I love Cozy Glow! She’s my sister! Why wouldn’t I?” Suddenly, I hear a different voice from behind her chant, “If what you say is true, then you and Cozy could become a pair, for both of you! You shall be considered twins, for that is the best way to secure the win!” Twilight’s eyes widen, “I think what Zecora is trying to say, is that Cozy’s odds of reforming are a LOT better, with you here, dope-smoking, or no!” I furrow my brow at this ignorant alicorn, before a sudden realization washes over my stoned brain, and I lower my shoulders, when I realize that she’s right… Cozy stares at me, “Hey, we should go for a fly together, Ophelia! Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Twilight turns her gaze to the curly filly, “Not so fast! Remember, you’re on house arrest, Cozy Glow!” She sighs, and stares up at Twilight with enormous shaky brown eyes… <*****> I stare at Cozy Glow, standing next to me in the open field, “I still can’t believe she actually agreed to this!” Cozy turns to me, “Well, she put up that HUGE invisible barrier, to keep us from leaving the area!” “Well, right!” I nod, “So I gotta ask, what are you planning, now? Gonna tunnel underneath the dome, so you can escape and cause mayhem, or something?” She frowns at me, “For the good parts of me, you’re sure starting to sound evil!” I furrow my brow, “And that was my point, Cozy Glow! Ideas like good and evil are entirely relative, and can’t be boiled down to just parts of yourself, or whatever! You were never evil, Cozy!” She frowns, “So trying to take over Equestria, and kill and enslave other ponies is now acceptable behavior?” I sigh, and close my eyes, because for a genius filly, she’s pretty dense right now! I open them to her, “No, what I’m saying is that you were just the product of your environment and weren’t really in your right head when you did those things! You gotta admit, Tirek isn’t exactly the most wholesome influence you could’ve had in your life, here!” * Her eyes narrow and frowns, “Great! So now I’m not responsible for my own actions!” I sigh, “Look, Cozy! You were alone, right?” She gazes seemingly beyond me, “W-well, yeah… I was by myself… “ And then I nod, “Tirek was the only pony er, person you really had to talk to, right?” Her mouth straightens, “Well, there were the caretakers at the orphanage?” I look at her, “Oh, please! You and I both know that you could never open up to those ponies! They were only there to do a job, and literally nothing else!” Suddenly, we both hear a large purple alicorn from about 100 yards away in the same field yell at us, “Hey, what’s taking so long?” I turn back to her, “Shut up, Twilight! We’re talking now!” before turning to the other pink filly, “And so, Tirek was the only one who listened, right?” “Y-yeah… But I shouldn’t have listened to him, should I have?” I smile, “Hey, Cozy! I wasn’t even there, but you’re with me now, and we can be sisters, and positive influences on each other, or whatever!” and widen my eyes! “Doesn’t that sound like fun?” She stares at me carefully… “You’re still gonna smoke, aren’t you?” I nod, “Golly right, I am!” She sighs, before ultimately smiling at me, “Yeah… I love you Ophelia! Ready to go for a fly?” I stare up at the tremendous blue sky overhead, “Golly right, I am! Let’s do it!” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *When I mention Tirek here, I’m actually referencing someone from my own past. I will not disclose who, in order to protect the innocent…
Chapter 14: Other PoniesI fly in the air, now free again… I feel wind blowing through my long unkempt mane and tail, and as the exhilaration of flight takes hold, I can’t help but smile, and think to myself that I really should do this more often! After the joint, it especially has a good feel! It’s much like earlier, after I woke up, except there’s one change… One difference… I am not alone this time… “Oh, golly!” I hear Cozy exclaim from my right somewhere… I’m no longer by myself… “Hey, can we stop now?” I hear her gasp. I hear Cozy huffing beside me, and I turn my neck to her, “Are you tired?” She gazes forward blankly, and replies, “Y-yeah! I uh, I think I’m out of shape, from being in stone?” Wait! Then I was really doing all the flying earlier? I nod, “Yeah, lets land! Twilight probably wants us back soon, anyway!” <*****> We both land, and I feel the dirt skid under my hooves, as I stop, in the field after landing, and I also see Cozy lurch forward, from momentum, out of the right side of my eyes… I also see the tall smiling purple alicorn, who stares at Cozy and asks, “So, did you enjoy your forty-five minutes in the sky, Cozy?” She stares up at the large pony, “Y-yes ma’am! After being stone, for all that time, it sure was nice to get out and stretch the ol’ wings!” she says, while stretching out her right wing to the side. She frowns, “But weren’t you with Ophelia?” She says, “Well, not really? I was asleep… “ “Asleep?” Twilight appears aghast. Cozy gulps and responds, “Well, yeah… I uh, I didn’t wanna be around anymore… I didn’t like living…” her face cringes, “Everything was just so awful!” Twilight nods, “But what about now, Cozy? You survived everything, and now you have a home, and a sister!” She turns her head to me, and I enlarge my gaze at this peculiar filly who seems to love me, “Yeah… I love Ophelia a whole lot!” I furrow my brow, “Oh, Cozy Glow, don’t get all sappy, now!” Twilight smiles at me, “What’s the matter, Ophelia? Don’t you love your sister?” I stare at the purple pony, “Of course!” before averting my gaze to the pink filly, “Even if she keeps saying sweet things, and getting all emotional, and stuff!” I say, before sticking my tongue out, and squinting! The purple alicorn leans forward, “What’s the matter, Ophelia? Don’t like sappy things?” I feel my cheeks beginning to heat up, as I scrunch my mouth and say, “You’re both jerks, you know that?” Twilight begins to chuckle, while Cozy continues to stare at me blankly in the doorway. I stare at Cozy, “Come on, Cozy! I wanna smoke that other half-joint in my ashtray, now!” Cozy gazes at me, wide-eyed, “Gee, Ophelia! Don’t you think you’ve smoked enough?” I sigh, “Well, ordinarily, yes! But you’re here now, and there’s Twilight! I turn to face the large purple pony, “No offense, but I keep thinking that you’re against me or bad or whatever, and I know it’s not you, or anything you’ve ever done to me!” and nod at the other filly, “Pretty sure it has to do with what you did to her, earlier!” She frowns, “You view me as a potential threat?” I gulp, “Uh, kinda… “ Her eyebrow raises, “And yet, you explicitly say that I froze Cozy Glow in stone, and not you?” I begin to crack a small grin, “Well, you couldn’t have froze me! I wasn’t there!” “Where were you?” “I uh, “ I blink, “I was asleep… I was in the same body, but I was asleep… I didn’t want to be awake… “ Her eyes widen, as she stares at the wall behind me, “Oh, my Celestia!” before she darts them at me, “Do you know what this means?” “That life is overrated?” She sighs, “No, Ophelia! You two NEED each other!” Cozy looks up at her, “We do?” Twilight widens her eyes, while adjusting her gaze to both of us, “Yes, Cozy! You and Ophelia, need each other!” before frowning, as she begins to explain, “You see, without the other, all each of you wants to do is just sleep all the time!” Cozy’s eyes widen, as she frowns, “Golly!” The alicorn nods, “Yes! The only way for either of you to feel complete and whole, is to have the other filly in your life!” I frown myself, “So, I’m kinda required to like Cozy then, huh?” Twilight frowns my direction, “Well, I don’t think I’d quite word it like that?” I look at her, “Then how would you word it?” Her frown lowers, “Well, I’d say that you too help each other live better lives!” I nod, “Yup! Basically required!” Her mouth straightens and she says, “Um, yeah!” While winning was nice, I’m getting a little sick of this, now, “I was gonna smoke a joint, you know? Uh, are you gonna stand there too, Twilight?” I say, as Cozy begins to timidly walk into the room… Twilight widens her eyes, “Oh, right! Junkie filly!” before taking a step to me, and hugging me! “It’s okay, Ophelia! You have to know that you’re not alone!” “EEP! She’s gonna eat me!” I squeal, before timidly hugging the alicorn back… I see the other pink filly smiling at me, from behind the alicorn… Just what the hay is going on, right now? <*****> “This sucks!” I say to nopony, as I stare at the wall, in Cozy’s little room… Cozy turns her head towards me from my right, and says, “What’s wrong Ophelia?” I turn and stare at her, “Well, before, I was alone, and I didn’t care about anypony! Now, I got you and Zecora! And it sucks, because I’m used to it just being me!” Cozy frowns, “I thought you were asleep, before?” I sigh, “Y-yeah… I was asleep, and by myself… No worries, and I was all alone… “ Cozy frowns, “Are you actually saying that you liked it better, when you were asleep?” I widen my eyes, “What? No! Of course not!” Her gaze enlarges too, “Well, what’s the problem?” I sigh, and take my gaze wistfully to the side, “I uh, I don’t like this… There’s just so much caring, now, and it makes me uncomfortable… “ “Ophelia, are you saying you’re anxious? Do you have anxiety?” I blink, “Well, uh, maybe?” I smile, and suddenly think the devil weed kinda makes sense, now! * She frowns, “Golly!” before turning her gaze to me, “Well, I’m sorry Ophelia! I didn’t want to… “ I cut her off, and point my forehoof at her! “Don’t you bucking say it, asshole!” Her eyes widen, as a horrified frown forms on her face, “WHAT?” I nod, and lower my hoof, “You heard me! You DO deserve to be in the world, YOU ARE important, and you DO matter! And I’m not gonna hear you apologize or say your sorry, just for existing, anymore, got it?” I’m scowling at her, and might have a neck vein now? Her mouth gets tiny, “Uh, um, okay Ophelia! I uh, I love you!” My head quivers as I say, “I love you too, Cozy Glow! Wanna hug?” She frowns, “Uh, maybe later?” I sigh and release my face, so the air flies out of my snout, before lowering my head, “I uh, I’m sorry Cozy… “ and raise my gaze to her, “This is just so new, to me, and I’m not sure I like it?” She sighs, and wistfully looks to the side, “Yeah, I know what you mean! I uh,“ and looks up at me, “ why don’t we just get used to caring about each other, a little as we go, huh? That way, if somepony messes up, we can just uh, stop right there, you know? So nothing bad can happen!” and slowly forms a wide grin on her muzzle… “Doesn’t that sound like fun?” You know, I’m half-sure this is another weird attempt to manipulate me, but at the same time, she was just so golly dang cute, I couldn’t help but chuckle, and say, “Yeah, Cozy! That sounds swell!” Her eyes widen, “Uh, wanna hug now, Ophelia?” I grin and chuckle as I hop down from the bed to all fours, and trot towards her, while saying, “Sure Cozy! Let’s hug!” Before she has a chance to react, I reach up towards her, and grasp her in my forehooves for a loving embrace! “I can’t really explain it, Cozy Glow, but I actually do care for you… And that terrifies me… “ “GOLLY!” She manages to squeak out, before timidly returning my embrace… At this point, all I can do is silently giggle to myself at how silly I’ve been acting! “I love you, Ophelia!” “I love you too, Cozy Glow… I honestly do, golly dammit… “ I feel her body begin to quiver, as she begins to chuckle quietly… Suddenly, there’s a knock on her door behind me! She raises her gaze to look over my shoulder, towards her door, “Yeah, hang on! We’ll be out in a little while!” before lowering her face into my floof, to continue returning my hug… She says, “Golly… “ lowly, while continuing to hang onto me… <*****> Zecora calmly takes a sip of tea, from her blue ceramic mug, with her forehoof in the handle, before gently setting the cup down on a saucer, on the table, in the midst of all the multi-colored beanbag chairs, in her foyer, as she smiles, and turns to Cozy Glow, “So, tell me young Cozy! What did you learn?” Cozy stares up at her wide-eyed, “Oh, golly Miss Zecora! I came to realize that um, “ and gulps, “I actually DO care about Ophelia, and that she is important to me!” I add, “Yeah, caring about other ponies, and you, uh, it scares me, Zecora!” She turns to me and frowns, “Oh? Then we shall go slow, Ophelia! Tell me now, so that I know, why does it scare you as you’ve understood, when caring should be more exhilarating and good? I frown, “Because what if something bad should happen to Cozy or you?” I blink, “Caring about other ponies sucks, because I mean, eventually you’ll be gone, and something might happen!” She smiles, and replies, “It is indeed true that all love and caring is temporary, and impermanent! But that’s all the more reason to appreciate it at this moment!” “Golly!” She nods, “Mhm! Now, before you smoke your roach, why don’t we all have some tea for a more amiable approach?” I look down and ask, “Uh, that sounds like fun! Is this mango hibiscus, again?” (To be continued… ) Author's Note *Between controlling my anxiety, suicidal depression, and autism, relaxing me, treating my amnesia, and making me not crave alcohol, and nicotine, marijuana is in every sense, the perfect drug for me…
Chapter 15: Origins part 1Yummy mango hibiscus! I think to myself, as I held the roach in one hoof, with the lighter under it, and ignited, so the flame danced underneath, to start causing the end to smoke, as it ignites… “Golly!” I hear the other pink filly in the room say. I then bring the roach to my snout, to clamp and inhale, to taste herbal joy on my tongue, finally, after all the ultra-stressful chatting with that purple alicorn! “Are you okay, Ophelia?” I hear Cozy ask… I take the joint out, and exhale smoke and stare at her from 10 feet away, “Yeah, I’m fine! Why?” She frowns, “Well, you seem kinda stressed?” I let out a big sigh and feel my lungs empty, before staring at her, “Cozy… I get nervous! You know that!” “Well, I just wish you wouldn’t smoke so much!” I blink, “Y-yeah… Tell you what Cozy! After this whole Twilight thing, blows over, I’ll cut back! I’ll only uh, use at certain times, okay?” and smile… * She smiles back, dimly, “Okay, Ophelia… That works… “ Yay! I won again! I think to myself, while bringing the burning roach to my snout… “So, when do you think this whole Twilight thing will blow over, anyway?” I exhale warm smoke and feel it exit my lungs, before turning to the other filly, “Oh, golly gee, Cozy Glow! How would I know?” and then I bring the joint to my mouth for another pull! She smiles and giggles, “Oh, yeah! You’re just like me, huh? Well, I love you, Ophelia!” This causes me to cough! COUGH! GAG! CHOKE! I sputter, as the smoke comes pouring out of my snout, and the other filly stares at me with huge brown eyes! “Golly! Are you okay, Ophelia?” I stare up at her, with my snout towards the ground, and watery eyes, “Yeah, I’m fine! Whoa!” She frowns, “The idea of being in the same boat as me, freaks you out?” I stare up at her, with wide watery eyes, “NO!” Her eyes widen, “What’s wrong?” I breathe out of my snout, and feel the wind exit my body, before I stare at her again, and I wipe my eyes with my hoof, “This is all so weird! I mean, I see Twilight as a potential threat, and I know I get that from you!” “Are you sure?” She asks, while I inhale from the partial joint again… I feel the heat in my lungs, before it goes back up my esophagus, and after the smoke is out of my snout, I look at her again, “Well, why else would I see her that way?” before taking another drag… There’s only a little bit, but I’m gonna get all I can from this thing!** Her frown increases, as her eyes grow wider, “Well, she’s a big scary alicorn, that you don’t know!” I exhale a big cloud of smoke, and look at the other filly, “She’s literally the Princess of Friendship! How scary do you think, we can get here?” “She did turn you to stone, you know?” “No! She turned YOU to stone! I wasn’t awake!” And I move my forehoof to my mouth, for another pull… Her gaze raises an inch, “You sure about that?” I cough slightly, as my snout goes up and down, and smoke exits from my mouth, and I look at the floor, while breathing, to compose myself… Breathe in… Breathe out… I raise my gaze to her, before widening my eyes, with the sudden heat on my right forehoof, and I look at the ashtray on the right and move my forehoof over there, to snuff the joint out… Cozy frowns, “Golly! Are you okay, Ophelia?” “Y-yeah… I’m starting to wonder though… “ I say, before turning my gaze back to her, and frowning… Her eyes grow, “About what?” I breathe in and out, again… “I’m starting to wonder just how asleep I really was, in the before-time?”*** “What do you mean?” “I mean, I think that was at least, partially me… I think… “ I raise my body, “I think, I tried to take over Equestria, too!” She blinks, “If that’s the case, then how did we separate?” “I uh… “ I blink too, “I don’t know, okay? It’s like, I was there, but uh, but not, really there… “ Her eyes widen, “You were half awake!” My own gaze enlarges, “What?” Her mouth forms an O, “What I mean is, you were sorta there, but not really!” as her right hoof wiggles in the air. She sets it down, “Your voice, was just one of many in my head!” “And Rowan is also such a voice?” She sighs, “Well, yes and no! I mean, he’s from Sombra, remember?” I smile, “Right! The alien voice, and then, there’s us!” “So the real question now is, when did you become you, and why?” My smile lowers, “I uh, I’m not sure? What do you know about where we were, before we went to The School of Friendship?” Cozy frowns, “Well, I remember I had just escaped that awful orphanage, in Cloudsdayle, and we flew into town… I remember staying with that old earth mare, on the North end! Remember that Ophelia?” I frown again, “No!” She breathes in and out, before looking at me again, “Well, she gave us the cot in her backroom, and we stayed there, until well, that voice showed up… Remember, we didn’t even know about The School of Friendship, until Rowan started talking about it!” My mouth opens, “Oh!” She nods, “Yes, by golly! Then, Rowan started talking to us about Tirek, and saying he could help us…” I frown, “By teaching us the necessary magic!” Cozy gulps, and almost smiles, before saying, “Yup! With that knowledge, and Rowan’s knowledge of the school, it was a simple matter, to get rid of all the pony’s magic, so we could reign as The Empress of Friendship!” I sigh to the side, “But that didn’t work out, huh?” Cozy frowns, “Well uh, no! Not with the Tree of Harmony in place!” Wait, why does Rowan know so much about The School of Friendship?With all of these revelations, I can’t help but stare at her, to ask the burning question in my mind… “Are you glad it turned out, like this Cozy?” She smiles back at me, “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” “W-well, releasing me was pretty painful?” She sighs, “Yeah, that is true! But here’s the thing, Ophelia… If I hadn’t, I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself? We’re sisters, and we need each other… “ My eyes widen, “What do you mean?” She exhales from her nose, and her muzzle forms a half-smile, “Well,” and it goes to a full smile, “ you complete me, I mean… Yeah, we’re kinda related, and I think it’s neat now, because I’m not alone anymore!” I widen my eyes, because nopony has ever told me that they actually need me before, but then again, nopony has ever told me much of anything! I finally widen my eyes to her, “Uh, I gotta meditate now, Cozy! Can I be alone in my room, again?” She smiles, “Of course, Ophelia!” before trotting a few paces to me, and embracing me in her forehooves! “I love you!” <*****> Breathe in…. I feel the oxygen flowing up my nose, and down into my lungs, as my mind finally begins to clear itself. She loves and cares about me as a sister… I think to myself, when I suddenly wonder what she’s reading about in the other room? Just where the hay, was I? Was I real, back then? I feel the air leaving my lungs, as it flows out my nostrils… Nothing makes sense… I don’t know where I came from? I feel the oxygen enter my nostrils again, as I inhale… My lungs expand again… Was I part of her? Is that what really happened? My lungs deflate, as air flows out of my nostrils… I just don’t like that purple alicorn… I think about that wicked looking pony, as more air enters my body through my nostrils… The more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn’t trust her… Who should I trust? I compress my stomach again, to force air out of my nostrils… I open my eyes… “I gotta get out of here!” <*****> I step off the worn wooden porch, out from under the overhanging awning, and onto the dirt below, and feel light bits of grass, on my hooves, as I trot across Zecora’s yard, to reach the trail, beyond the meadow… Yes! That’s a good plan! Go outside, get some air, and clear my noggin! No thinking about where I came from… I suddenly realize that I’m doing it again, and blink my eyes to refresh my mind, as I see the end of the meadow approaching, maybe 30 yards away… Does it really matter, where I came from? I mean, I’m gonna die anyway! Oh, golly! That’s a morbid thought! I see I’m just a few yards away, from the treeline, and a kinda cave takesshape inside heavy wall of wood… Death is The Great Equalizer… I decide to clear my head again, as I march past the trees, and head deeper into the woods, on the light brown dirt trail… It’s not so bad during the day, and I see the rocks and pebbles on the ground, as my hooves glaze them, and I keep trotting… I look up at the cloudy, overcast sky, and I feel the humidity on my skin, as a light breeze blows through the trees, to graze my body… Golly, that wind feels nice! I think to myself, as I begin to trot over the dead grass… Strange that there would be a single patch of dead grass, right here… I think to myself, before the ground underneath gives way, and I tumble and fall into the pit, below! <******> “Hey, there’s a filly down there, man!” I hear a gruff, masculine voice say… I open my eyes, to discover I’m on my back, with my forelegs sprawled over my body, and my hind legs, down at my sides… I move my legs, and I see a clear sky, with a single pony head there, staring back at me… This head is dark green, with a long wisteria purple mane, flowing out on either side of it… “What are you doing down there, little dude?” I widen my eyes at this curious earth pony, “Oh, you know! Just hanging out! Uh, hang on! I’ll fly out!” I flip my body around, and feel the bruise on my right foreleg, as I lift my body up… I crouch, to launch myself in the air, and I feel a pang, in my right wing, that causes me to stop flapping, and my hooves, go clop down in the dirt again! I stare up at the weird pony, “Uh, hey friend! I uh, kinda hurt my wing, and I need to get out another way! Can you uh, maybe lower something, like a rope or vine, that I can grab onto, heh heh!” and smile nervously at this strange pony… His blue eyes widen, “Whoa, yeah, hang on, little dude! I got just the thing!” and his head moves out of view, while his mane flows with his soon hidden head… Oh, golly! (To be continued… ) Author's Note *I’ll only get high during certain times, during “sessions”. The point is to limit and control my use, so I don’t go overboard. THC is a habit, and like any habit, I find it’s necessary to keep it in it’s place. **Speaking of my habits, and tendencies! ***This is really me examining my own psychology… Remember that at one point, “Ophelia” did try to kill me… Several times, actually, but my amnesia prevents me from recalling a lot of details…
