Cute and Innocent

I nod laying on the bed, “Um, yeah!” before blinking at the other pink pegasus filly, “I mean uh, yes! I want to know where I came from!”

Cozy sighs, and stares at me carefully, “You know, I thought I killed you!”

I frown, “What?”

Cozy smiles and chuckles, “Yeah, I tied you up and threw you into a ravine! You seriously don’t remember that?”

I’m flabbergasted, “Why did you try to kill me?”

Her eyes widen, as she leans closer, “So you wouldn’t get in the way! Duh!”

I look over to my round nightstand, and use my hoof to slide over my metal box…

“Uh, what are you doing?” She asks me.

“Don’t worry about it! I’m just rolling something! So uh, why am I in charge now?” I say, as I lift my body up with my forehoof, to sit on my haunches in front of the table.

She’s silent as I open the top latch, flip the top over, and use the clefts of my hooves to fetch a red pack of rolling papers and a plastic baggy, containing many green fluffy buds…

After getting my implements on the nightstand, where I can work with them, I stare over at the silent pegasus filly, and ask her, “Well?”

She stares at me with wide open brown eyes, and a straight face… “Do you really wanna know?”

I get out a nugget of herb, and proceed to hoof-grind it on the table, and she says, “Well, yeah! Kinda!” while I watch the process…

“I didn’t want to do it anymore, Ophelia… “

I see the weed nugget being crushed and ground underneath my hoof… “What?”

“I didn’t want to live anymore, Ophelia… So I stayed asleep… “

I collect a white rolling paper, and put it on the table, sticky side up, and start moving bits of green stuff onto it, “You know, that still doesn’t explain where I came from!”

“Y-yeah! I’m not exactly sure about that, either? I guess it was because I didn’t go in there, they naturally threw in the only other pony available, ipso facto, you took charge!” I look up to see her blink in confusion, “Well, that’s probably what happened!”

As I lift the paper taco to my snout to lick it, I say to her, “So you really don’t know, huh?”

She blinks again, “Well, no! Not really! Uh,” she adjusts her gaze to me, “Ophelia! Are you rolling a joint?”

“Kinda!” I reply, before licking the sticky side, and rolling the joint up from the bottom, and twisting with my hoof cleft, to make it extra tight…

“I never smoked dope!”

I lick the cigarette, and stick one end into my mouth, “You know, things change!” before reaching towards my nightstand for my trusty red hoof lighter!

“Oh, golly!” She bleakly says, as I inhale the flame to the end of the joint and soon taste a woody flavor on my tongue…

Cozy stares at me with enormous eyes, as I remove the joint from my mouth with my right hoof and exhale a cloud of smoke…

“Golly… “ She lowly repeats herself…

I stare at her and ask the obvious question, “So Cozy! What now? Why are you here, now?” before bringing the cigarette to my snout for another pull…

“I…can’t go away, Ophelia… “ She brings her face closer to me and blinks, “Well, not really!”

I exhale a stream of warm smoke, before staring back down at her, “What?”

“I can’t die, Ophelia… “ She says, before raising her gaze to me, “Not completely… Not while you’re still alive… “

I exhale another cloud from this particularly satisfying wake n bake session, and stare down at her, “Wait, you want to die?” and then ashing into the tray…

She nods, “Y-yes Ophelia! I don’t want to live anymore! My whole life has been awful! I…” before blinking, “remember the orphanage and the way they treated me… I was always fed, and housed in warmness, but it wasn’t real… It wasn’t real warmth, Ophelia… “

I exhale another gust of smoke, before staring down at her again, “Is that why you tried to take over Equestria?”

A maniacal grin forms on her face, while I taste more warm herb on my tongue, “YES!” and she stares at me intently, “If love wasn’t real, then what did it matter? I decided that the only way I could ever be happy is if I forced other ponies to be my friends!” and nods…

I exhale smoke, and reach down to ash the joint with my hoof again, before turning back to her, “Uh, are you okay Cozy? Do you want to smoke?”

“N-no! I think I’ll go back to sleep now… You be careful, okay Ophelia?” She says while intently staring at me…

I nod with my lips still on the half-joint, and she turns around to slowly trot towards the door two paces, before she opens it with her forehoof, and she trots outside, before closing the door…

I am now alone again…

Me and my joint…

I exhale another cloud of smoke…

<******>

I open my eyes…

I quickly gaze to my glass ashtray, and I can’t help but notice the half smoked joint there!

I feel my mane fall on my back, as I get up to my haunches on the bed… “Golly… I really did smoke this morning… “ I blink, before going to all fours, and flapping my wings, to hover over to the door, and opening it with my hooves, and floating into the foyer beyond…

The zebra on the green beanbag chair, just on the far side of the table, suddenly looks up and smiles at me, “I see you are awake, little one! There is morning tea, and herb, so come join the fun!”

I widen my eyes as I slowly begin to float towards the blue beanbag chair across from her, “I uh, don’t feel so great, Zecora! I kinda uh… “

Her eyes widen, “Is something wrong, foal? Come tell me, it’s good for your soul!”

I stare at her, and wonder just how I’m gonna word this? “I finally met Cozy Glow… “

Her muzzle goes to a frown, “What?”

I nod, “She talked to me, in a dream! Uh, except it wasn’t a dream!”

Her eyebrow raises, “Do, go on Ophelia? If you indeed, met Cozy Glow, your interactions I’d very much like to know!”

I gulp, “She doesn’t want to be alive anymore, Zecora… That’s why I’m here… Because she isn’t… “

“A sad report indeed, but not for loss of hope, for Cozy Glow simply needs a better way to cope!”

I frown, “Cope?”

She nods, “Mhm! If she could deal better with life, and whatever it gave her, she would not be so wrought with strife! She needs to come to terms with just who and what she is, and through this, acceptance, can peace be what is!”

“Golly!”

She nods again, “So when you see Cozy Glow again, you will tell her that she simply needs to understand her place, and only then can reality be faced!”

“Oh, golly!” I repeat myself… You know, I didn’t really feel much like smoking, but now I kinda wanna burn!" I look up at her, “Zecora! Can we please smoke devil weed, now?”

She smiles at me, “In a moment after tea, I shall roll! But first, why not have a cup during the lull? It’s mango hibiscus!”

That tea also sounds pretty good, actually! I widen my eyes, “Uh, yes please!”

<*****>

Once again, I’m laying on the bed, with my hooves and wings at my sides, and staring up at the same darkened thatched ceiling…

This bed is a lot more comfortable than it looks… I note in my head…

I let out a large audible sigh… I just don’t know what to do?

Wait! Am I actually worried about Cozy Glow?

I don’t even know Cozy Glow! That can’t be right?

I blow the strand of my hair away from my face and stare up at the ceiling again…

Rowan? Are you there?

Yes, Ophelia?

My eyes widen, It’s been like, two days! Where the hay have you been?

Y-yes! I know! And I’m sorry about that Ophelia…

I whisper, “Just where were you, anyway?”

There is silence in my mind…

“Well?”

I uh, I don’t know, okay?

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

Just that! I kinda reappeared later, and I don’t know what happened?

I stare up at the ceiling and grumpily whisper, “Great! Cozy wants to die, and Rowan is fading out of existence! I wonder what else is going on?”

Ophelia? Are you okay?

“I guess Zecora could try to kill me? That could be fun?”

Ophelia, you’re kinda going off the deep end!

“Well, I guess I could always go take care of myself?”

Ophelia, what are you talking about?

I get up from the bed, and get to my hooves to begin trotting to my window on the other side of my bed, next to the wall…

Ophelia, what are you doing?

<*****>

I land on my hooves, outside the window, on the side of the hut…

I breathe through my mouth… In and out…

I begin trotting towards the other trail, as my eyes slowly grow accustomed to the pale moonlight from Luna, overhead…

The cool air feels nice on my skin, as I trot in-between the trees, and brush, to walk down the darkened path…

CLIP CLOP…

Ophelia? Are you there?

I keep trotting and I notice the trail abruptly ends about 50 yards ahead of me…

Ophelia? What are you doing?

The ending grows nearer, as I continue down the path…

CLIP CLOP…

I finally reach the end, and I stand there on my hooves, gazing at the scenic landscape,

Ophelia? What are you thinking about?

I think about how nothing makes sense to me anymore… I think about Cozy Glow, who said she didn’t want to live anymore, and I think about what life really means to me… I ponder all these things as I stare off into the abyss of the raging waterfalls below…

That’s massive… I probably wouldn’t make it?

Ophelia, what are you doing? Please talk to me!

I say out loud, “Cozy Glow doesn’t want to live anymore… “

But what about you, Ophelia? What do you want?

I close my eyes and say, “I don’t know anymore… I uh, I’m not sure if I ever really did? I don’t know who I am! And I don’t know anything!”

You don’t need to jump, you know? We can all be together! Look! I don’t know why I exist, nor do I know who Cozy Glow or you, really are! But this is not the answer!

I open my eyes, “How would you know?”

The voice is silent for a moment… I know more than you’d think, Ophelia…

“Do you now? Do you really know me?” I say, before shaking my head, to begin trotting back to the hut…

I know Cozy Glow tried to kill herself…

I enlarge my gaze at the massive roaring rapids below, and whisper, “W-what?”

Yeah, funny true story! She leapt off the side of a cliff, kinda like what you’re about to do…

I see the mists coming from the booming waterfalls below, and whisper back, “What happened?”

She pulled up and flew back at the last possible moment…

I look down and think about Cozy falling into a valley…

Look! Just don’t off yourself, okay Ophelia? You know, that is the ONE SUREFIRE way of making sure this never gets solved, right?

I sigh, and turn to begin the trot back home…

Ophelia? Are you going to talk to me?

I continue to trot home in silence, underneath the dark forest canopy…

After the waterfall sound diminishes, I hear crickets in the forest…

<*****>

That same thatched roof is now overhead, as I stare at it blankly…

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to Cozy Glow… “ I quietly mutter to myself…

“But who is Cozy Glow? And who am I?”

I close my eyes, because I don’t want to think anymore…

Why can’t I just be normal, like every other filly?

I feel liquid flowing out of my right eye as I drift off...

<*****>

“Hello again, Ophelia!” I hear a familiar voice say, as the darkness underneath my eyelids grows bright…

I open my eyes and prop myself up to see a familiar curly-maned pink pegasus filly standing there, her freckled face and sparkling brown eyes now illuminated by the lamp overhead...

I glance to the left towards my wooden round nightstand, before reaching my forehoof there, to snag the roach, still sitting in my ashtray…

I scoot around and land on the floor from the bed with three of my hooves, while my left front hoof continues to hold the joint…

I stick it in my mouth, and as I reach for the red hoof lighter on the edge of the table, I say, “Now, where were we?”

(To be continued… )