A Tale of Magic

Chapter 7: Of insomnia, radio dramas, foalsitting and that weird feeling you get when your blood-flow is blocked for a while.

(Aka 'What the hell took you so long?!')

(Aka 'The big Cameo chapter!')

It was a quiet night, as they usually were in the home of our friends. In his bed, Gin slept peacefully and quiet, awaiting a new day. Bright was relaxed, sleeping peacefully as we- “I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep at all. Can’t sleep a wink. ” His bloodshot eyes opened wide. “The harder I try to fall asleep, the more awake I feel. I don’t feel like sleeping at all.”

Once more Bright found himself unable to sleep. It didn’t happen all that often, but it had already become apparent to him that there were two kinds of insomniacs: The ones that just didn’t want to sleep and thes one that wouldn’t want anything else. At the moment, Bright was the latter.

Sadly, Bright that didn’t get his sleep wasn’t… pleasant. And Gin Toki was the one that was gonna pay the price. Bright got up and walked out of his room and across the living room/office, to Gin’s bedroom. He knocked on the door.

“…*yawn* What?” He heard from inside. He cracked open the door and looked at Gin, who lay in his bed with a look of a dead colt’s eyes.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, really… Do not stay up too late. Tomorrow is a day off, but sleep helps the child grow…” Gin laid his head back onto the pillow. Bright knocked the door again to gain attention. *knock**knock**knock* “What is it?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that. If you cannot fall asleep, stay up until you are sleepy. You are so annoying…” *knock**knock**knock* “Let me sleep, okay?”

“I can’t sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!” He whined as he began shaking Gin’s bed.

“HEY! What are you doing?!” Gin sat up with an irritated look on his face.

Bright got close to Gin’s face. “I can’t sleep a wink at all.”

“Like I care! Stop bugging me!” he shouted in Bright’s face, extremely annoyed at Bright’s childish behavior.

“I can’t sleep… Put me to sleep,” he said, still in a trance-like state, earning a ‘huh?’ from Gin. “Use everything in your power to put me to sleep.”

“JUST GO TO SLEEP BY YOURSELF! IS THAT HOW YOU ASK SOMEPONY FOR A FAVOR?! Man… I cannot put up with this…” he said as he lay down his head yet again, trying to get a little sleep.

…Bright just got disturbingly quiet, didn’t he?

“That bed looks more comfortable to sleep on. Switch with me. I’m gonna sleep there. You sleep on the floor,” Bright said with his short sentences.

“What do you mean? Our beds are the exact same model, size and-“

“Whatever, just get out.” Gin got rolled out of the bed and Bright lay down on it. “Ah, I think I can fall asleep like this. This bed might put me to sleep.”

“Never wake up again, Ossan!” Gin mumbled; his backside still turned from the bed. He got the spare futon from the closet, a last resort in case his bed would break again…

Ponies had learned not to ask.

Only answer they got? ‘Nothing sexual’.

“What is with this? I had managed to fall asleep. I do not want to sleep on a cold mattress.” he grumbled as he lay on the futon, trying to get a few hours of sleep.

2 minutes later

“I can’t sleep,” Bright said as he sat up.

“SO NOTHING CHANGED?!” Gin yelled as he got in a similar position.

“This is no use. I don’t feel sleepy at all. I can’t fall asleep ‘cause the pillow smells like old man.”

“Who are you calling ‘old’, Oji-san? And remember; it was you who wanted to switch with me in the first place.”

“That mattress looks more comfortable to sleep on. Switch with me.”

“This will never end!” Gin rested his head on the pillow again, this time refusing to give up his sleeping arrangement. Bright did the same.

Bright Eyes began talking, seeing as sleep was eluding him. “I can’t fall asleep so I’ve been thinking of ways to fall asleep.  And now, I’m no longer sure how I used to fall asleep. I’ve forgotten how to fall asleep. How do I fall asleep? How do I make my way into slumberland?”

Gin was just barely keeping in his frustrations at this point. “Start by shutting up. Then close your eyes and stay still. You will eventually fall asleep.”

“But Gin, when you stop and think about it; what is sleep? When we close our eyes, we’re just shutting our eyelids.  Our eyeballs are still darting around. It’s completely dark, but that’s because we’re looking at the inside of our eyelids. It doesn’t mean that we’re asleep. To prove it, if you close your eyes during the day, it’s completely red. What do I do with my eyeballs if I want to fall asleep? Should I just stare at the inside of my eyelids? Or should I look up? What do I do to-“

“CUT IT OUT!” Gin jumped up from his futon with a look of desperation in his eyes. “Now I cannot fall asleep! What are you going to do about this?! Now you have got me thinking about it, I cannot fall asleep either. Did I look up? Did I look down? I do not know what to do with my eyeballs!” He started pacing back and forth, while shaking his head.

“And do we breathe with our mouths when we sleep? Or with our noses? Or do we breathe in through our mouths and out through our noses? Or do we breathe in through our noses and out through our mouths?”

“Cut it out!” He put his hooves on his head, trying to control his breathing, meanwhile.

“Should I cross my forelegs? Should I leave them at my sides? Outside the covers? Inside the covers? How should the pillow be placed? Face-up? Face-down?

“Cut it out.” Gin was, at this point, sobbing.

“Where do we come from? Where are we going? What’s beyond the edge of the universe? Why don’t fanfic-writers make lots of money?”

“Cut it out!” Gin lay down on the floor, hooves covering his eyes. “I cannot sleep! I do not feel like sleeping at all! Was it this hard to fall asleep?! Did we go through this ordeal every night?!”

“What is sleep again?”

Gin got up and pointed an accusing hoof at the older stallion. “Shut up! You will never fall asleep if you make everything so complicated! How much of a failure are you?!”

“I feel more and more awake. What do I do? At this rate, I’ll never fall asleep for the rest of my life.”

Gin finally gave in and dropped onto his futon. “Give me a break.  I am tired and I want to sleep. It is 2:30 in the morning. I do not want to sleep in too late.”

…

“Can I turn on the radio until I get tired?” Bright asked.

“*sigh*Sure, just do not turn it up too loud.”

Bright reached out for the radio at the bedside table, turning it on. The uplifting voices of the two usual hosts, White Noise and Grey Byte, came out of the speakers. One could never turn on the radio and not hear those two, but no one complained, they were doing a great job at it. It almost made you wonder when those two were actually sleeping…

The static emanating from the radio's speakers slowly faded into the sound of a deep yet comical sounding voice.  ”-so I told him, ’then you shouldn’t have swam in it!’ His reaction was priceless.” The voice of Grey Byte spoke through the small bit of interference on the radio speakers.

A laugh was heard from his co-host, White Noise. “Dude, that’s disgusting!" he declared.

A responsive chuckle was heard from Grey. “Hey, it was funny at the time, man,” he reasoned.

“So you say, but enough of that! It’s time!”

“It’s time?” Grey said in an overly dramatic voice, somewhat resembling that of a dramatic movie trailer overdub.

“It’s time. Would you mind telling the listeners what time it is?”

“Of course, White! It’s ‘Dramatic Reading with White Noise and Grey Byte Time’! Yes, and today we’ve got a sad story to read for you all,” he announced excitedly.

The background music as well as a good portion of the static faded and the host’s voices became soft. “It all started with a little filly called Kind Heart-“ White began.

For the next 10 minutes, the radio-hosts read aloud the sweetest of stories about Kind Heart and her dog, Merry. Near the end of the story, Merry was dying and Kind Heart was by its side, crying her eyes out.

'Her father came to her. “Don’t worry, little Kind Heart; Merry will always be with you. No matter what.”

Kind Heart looked up at her father’s face and asked between her sobs, “Whatever do you mean daddy? Where’s Merry?”

Her father put a hoof on her shoulder *and suddenly his head turned into THE FACE OF THE DEAD ZOMBIE-DOG MERRY IT’S JAWS SINKING INTO THE SOFT FLESH OF KIND HE-“***

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Gin jumped up from his futon and bucked the radio out of existence. “Who makes such a sweet and sad story into a horror filled mess of a narrative in an instant?! What is the matter with people? Are you hearing this Bri-“ Gin looked at the now sleeping Bright Eyes.

“Huh… At least something good came of it. Maybe I can get some sleep as well now.” Gin said to himself. He couldn’t help but feel a presence behind him. He turned around, and for a second he swore he could see a pair of red glowing eyes in the darkness. “Eh he he he he he he, it is just my imagination… It is just your head messing with you Gin Toki…” He sat still for a few minutes. Then he began poking Bright and whispered. “Bright… Oi… Bright Eyes… Do not leave me here alone… Wake up… Oji-san… Oi~”

It was the longest night in Gin’s life.

---Living room/office---

The next morning

It was a normal morning in the Yorozuya-household. Or as normal it could be with Gin scowling at Bright every chance he had. Bright, for his part, had no memory of last night’s endeavor, and simply assumed from the bags under Gin’s eyes, that Gin had trouble sleeping for whatever reason.

At the moment, Bright was enjoying the silence. Gin was reading his comics (a very normal thing for him), the sky outside was clear and Bright Eyes calmly sipped his coffee, sitting in the spinny chair, looking out the window.

He let out a small sigh of relaxation. The weather was nice. Not loud noises to shatter the tranquility. He was well rested and felt like he was atop of the world.

Something is gonna go horribly wrong today, isn’t it?

Not 5 seconds after Bright’s doomsday anticipations, there sounded a frantic knocking on the front door.

Called it.

“I will get it,” Gin said in a tired voice. He disappeared out into the hallway, and opened the door. Faintly, Bright could hear the voice of Twilight Sparkle. “Oh thank Celestia you’re here Gi-“ Bright heard the door being slammed. A few moments later, a frazzled Gin Toki came into the living room again and said in a high-pitched voice, “It is for you.” And gestured towards the hallway.

Wondering what in Luna’s name was going on, Bright got up and went for the door. He opened it and found himself looking at a frantic (and slightly confused) Twilight, standing with a small cyan foal with a rainbow colored ma-

“Oh, Bright! You gotta he-“ *SLAM*

…Nah. There’s no way it could be her. He opened the door again. The foal had magenta eyes- *SLAM* IT IS!

He opened and closed the door a few extra times for good measure, each time rewarded with the sight of a gradually more annoyed Twilight. Finally, it seemed like the mare had had enough, and held the door open with her magic, preventing Bright from closing it.

“Bright, now is not the time for joking around!”

“Whatever are you taking about Twilight? If that foal is who I think it is, it’s a perfect time for jokes! Here’s one: Why’d the chicken cross the road?” He began breathing faster, not able to understand the situation he found himself in. Why’s she a foal? What’s Twilight doing here? Oh no… what if that’s her foal? Why is Twilight here? What if the foal’s mi- Bright stopped himself right there. No, that didn’t make any sense. Perhaps an explanation would be in order? As a matter of fact, Twilight seemed to be talking right now.

How convenient.

…What did she say?

“…and then Trixie suddenly arrived…”

Dammit Bright! Stop thinking and listen to the explanation!

“…Rainbow Dash flew towards…”

You can’t tell me what to do!

“…but Trixie ran off before…

Why am I arguing with myself? Wait… it seems like she’s done… Oh great, I didn’t hear any of that.

“So, will you?”

What do they say about mares? ‘Tartarus has no fury like a mare scorned’? Yeah. How do you avoid instant death by Twilight? By saying what she wants to hear of course!

“Sure I will Twilight, you’re my bestest of best friends!” Bright said with a smile, a little too big to be genuine.

Twilight corked an eyebrow at him, but disregarded the edgy smile. “OK, then… It will just be until we’ve caught Trixie and made her spill the beans about the age-reversal spell. We should be back around the evening.” She ran off without another word, though leaving a little thing back in front of the still smiling stallion.

And this was what led Bright Eyes to be standing at his front door threshold, staring at the Pumpkin/Pound Cake-aged version of one of his friends, sucking her hoof.

“…Hello Rainbow Dash. How’s life?”

5 minutes later

”YOU DID WHAT?!” Gin roared, effectively making the floor shake a little.

Bright rubbed his ear a bit, trying to stop the ringing in them before answering. “Listen, I couldn’t just let a foal, Rainbow for that matter, stay outside, now could I?” He shot a glare at the frowning earth pony. “Besides, it’s just until tonight. We should be able to foalsit for a few hours, right?”

Gin let out a sigh before finally agreeing. “OK, yeah. You are right. It should not be that hard to take care of one little- Where did she go?!”

Bright looked over at Rainbow… or, the couch that used to house the foal. Buck. Me. He looked around the room. No trace of her, wait… A quiet sound of flapping wings caught Bright’s ears and he looked up. Aha!

Before he could reach out and grab her, Rainbow made a mad dash (pun not intended) for the opposite end of the room. Bright walked over, resulting in Dash flying to the other side of the room.

The motion repeated a few times, Bright going faster and faster in his attempt of catching the foal.

A series of knocks came from the door. Bright didn’t notice and was otherwise pre-occupied. Gin answered the door. “G’Morning Gin, I heard some commotion. Is everything OK up here?”

Not intimidated by his scary-looking landlord/friend, Gin took the casual approach. “Oh please, for the love every noodle I have ever made, help us Sartarus!” He all but kissed the big pegasus’s hooves.

If Sar was surprised by Gin behavior, he didn’t show it and began walking into the apartment with a determined expression. “It never gets boring with you guys around, does it? OK, let’s see what you have here, it can’t be that bad.”

30 seconds later

“Fan him quicker Gin!” Bright shouted from the bedroom. “I’ve almost got her!”

Gin Toki was fanning Sar to provide a small amount of fresh air. Good thing he had brought a few items, the fan included, from back home. Home…

Sar may have had a strong air around him when he entered, but it didn’t take him more than 3 seconds of seeing Rainbow Dash as a foal, flying around the room, Bright close behind her, before fainting.

Slowly, Sar’s eyes opened. “What happened? I had the weirdest dream. Bright Eyes was chasing after Rainbow Dash. But Dash wasn’t-“ His eyes shot open when he saw Bright in front of him, holding a foal. His only answer to this situation was an incomprehensible series of sounds that could, universally, only be described as the ponified version of John Scatman.

Gin began slapping the broken stallion. “Get to your senses man! We have got big problems!”

“Uh-wha-OK! Ahem, yes I’m back.” He looked back at Bright and the struggling foal. “Do I want to know?”

“I couldn’t tell you even if you would.” Bright said with a deadpanned expression. He didn’t even notice Dash starting to flap her wings again. It was then that Bright Eyes found out that he really didn’t like flying around attached to a foal.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” He cried as Dash flew around the room with him holding on tight. Making a sharp turn in front of the bathroom door, Dash went for the kitchen… Bright Eyes didn’t.

Unable to hold onto the foal any longer, he went straight into the bathroom. A loud racket sounded from the room.

“Are you OK in there Bright?” Gin asked from the opening to the kitchen, trying to keep Dash contained in the room. Bright came out of the bathroom covered in bandages and gaze. He had landed under the medical cabinet, making lots of equipment fall onto him.

“I feel defeated, yet strangely rejuvenated!” He shook his head, trying to get some of the gaze out of his eyes, not bothering getting the medical gear off of himself.

Gin hadn’t had much luck in the kitchen either. Dash had dropped a bag of flour on him, when she flew past him giggling all the way, making his coat the same color as his mane. “..You look ridiculous Bright.”

“You’re one to talk flour-head.”

Gin raised an eyebrow. “Really? ‘Flour-head’? Is that the best you can come up with?”

Bright scowled a bit, before taking assessments of the situation. Currently Sar had backed Dash into a corner. Sar was just about to lunge at her, when the door opened and Zephyr stood in the door-opening. “Hey guys, what’s going on?” He shouted through the apartment merrily.

A small smirk appeared on Rainbow’s face and she ran through Sar’s legs as he was distracted by the new arrival. When she got behind him, she reared up and did the hardest buck she could… Right in the ‘Please-don’t-hit-this-area-on-boys’-place on Sar, making him fall over for the second time in a few minutes.

Rainbow made a mad dash towards the front door. Bright saw it coming and shouted to Zeph. “Catch her! Don’t let her get outside!” Apparently Zephyr had seen his share of crazy shit and didn’t question the current situation, and got in position.

Just as Rainbow was about to fly through the door, Zephyr got in her way and grabbed her. “Ha! Got ya!” He yelled triumphantly. Bright let out a small sigh of relief. Finally she was caught… Wait… Oh no.

“Ehm, Zeph?” Bright asked.

“Yes?”

“You knew Rainbow Dash when she was small, right?” Zephyr nodded. “You remember how she was always a strong flyer, correct?” Zephyr nodded again, and a look of realization flashed over his face when he heard the sound of flapping wings.

---Café Chill Mists, down the road---

It had been quite the day for Midnight Raider. Going all the way from Canterlot to Ponyville to check up on his store, had taken a few hours more than he had thought it would. Not to mention that he had been up way too early for his taste didn’t help either. Heck, if it hadn’t been for his roommate Trail Blazer, who had been kind enough to accompany him on the trip, he wouldn’t even have gotten up this morning.

At the moment they were sitting at a café, enjoying a light meal.

“You know what Blazer? I’m sad we don’t live in Ponyville.”

Trail Blazer didn’t look up from his book, but answered anyways. “Oh, why not though? I thought you loved the city life?”

Raider shrugged. “Well yeah, but it’s always so busy. No one is enjoying the peace and quiet like they do here. Just… listen.” He put his hoof to ear, trying to listen. “That’s the sound of silence. You wouldn’t find that in Canterlot.”

A tan pegasus soared by screaming, while holding onto a foal.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A few seconds later an old unicorn, levitating a butterfly-net at his side ran by.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Just behind him, a white earth pony came running with a rope in his mouth.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

And finally, a bit behind them, came a humping pegasus, clutching his crotch.

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“…You know what Blazer?”

Trail Blazer finally looked up from his book. “Hm?”

“I’m glad we live in Canterlot. I wouldn’t be able to keep up with things here in Ponyville…”

---Drift’s Soda Stream, even further down the road---

Drift Whitemane, proud owner of the best soda bar in Ponyville, loved his shop. It was successful, clean and orderly. Everything he loved. Today was a slow day all things considered. Sure it wasn’t’ all that late yet and he honestly didn’t expect too many customers before noon. Though, that brown earth pony with the goatee was here. If he had to name a loyal customer, it’d be him.

Seeing as he had run out of ice at the store-front, he retreated out back to gather more, leaving the single customer alone.

The stallion outside the café was deeply concentrated in the newspaper in front of him. So concentrated that he didn’t notice the pegasus that hit every single table in the courtyard, effectively making them fall over, and finally just barely hitting his glass, making it tip over, spilling his soda, and then disappear as fast as it got there.

After a moment, he reached out for his soda, not looking up from his paper. He fumbled a bit, searching for it. Finally he felt something wet on the table. He looked over and saw the table soaked in soda. He could feel tears in his eyes. He loved his soda.

“Ye Gods and Goddesses, why does this always happen to me?” Omnius whimpered to himself.

Drift dropped the ice on the ground when he saw the battlefield that had been his café.

We leave this scene with the image of two sobbing stallions.

---End of the road---

Zephyr was heavily weighing the pros and cons of holding onto Rainbow Dash any longer. At this moment, his screaming was purely instinct, not that he was really scared… much.

It’s not really worth it… he thought and let go, flying into the alleyway in front of him. His yell slowly became stifled as his face drew down in the road.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA[size=9]A[/size][size=8]A[/size][size=7]A[/size][size=7]A[/size][size=7]A[/size][size=7]A[/size]

Zephyr lay down for a second, thinking about his life. It was such times, where he literally ate the dust (which, when he thought about it, was a regular thing for him by now) that he found time for thinking. Not only had he no idea of how Rainbow was a foal again, or why this had resulted in him lying face-down in the dirt way down the road, and finally, why that gray, 30 pound cat with no tail, was looking at him like that. He squinted at the nametag on the collar.

“Hi, ehm… ‘Mister’.” He whispered. The cat hissed, making Zephyr gulp. “Hehe, nice kitty, sweet kitty. Say was your father perhaps a lynx? Wild cat, or something? Damn you’re big…” The cat seemed to smirk and drew its claws.

“…Buck my life with a rusted spoon.”

Later that day

Twilight Sparkle was making her way to Gin and Bright’s apartment. The chase for Trixie had been pretty exhausting and taken them all the way to Canterlot. Thankfully, when Trixie heard what had happened after she ran off, she was quick to help with a solution (after a massive amount of boasting of course), and the only thing remaining was picking up Rainbow from the guys.

I hope everything went well. I figure Rainbow might have been a hoof full to foal-sit. She shook her head giggling a little. Nah, nothing could have happened. We were only gone for a few hours and surely the guys are able to look after *one** foal for that time.* She walked up the outside stairs leading to the apartment. She knocked a few times and heard somepony shout that the door was open.

When she opened she had to muster up all of her willpower to not let her jaw drop to the floor.

In the living room was Gin, white as snow, cleaning a well-scratched Zephyr with alcohol. Sartarus was currently sitting in a bucket filled with ice (oddly enough letting a small amount of steam coming up from it). And finally Bright Eyes was sitting in the couch, medical gaze covering most of him, with a sleeping Rainbow Dash.

She let out a single quiet giggle.

If looks could kill, Ponyville would be the host for Twilight Sparkle’s funeral.

She promptly shut up.

“As much as I’d love to hear the story about all of this,” Twilight made a vague gesture to the guys. “I think I should get Rainbow to the library. I’ve set up the equipment to undo the spell there.”

Bright got up without a word and handed Twilight the foal. She nodded in appreciation and turned to leave. Just as she was about to go, she stopped, having remembered something important.

“Oh that reminds me.” She turned to Bright. “Do you mind if I could take a look at your necklace Bright Eyes? I may be able to find something on it, maybe give us a clue to your identity.”

Again, without a word, Bright Eyes took of his necklace and handed it to the mare. She walked to the door, Bright following her out. When she was gone, he walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch.

A few minutes of silence filled the room.

And everypony let out a sigh of relief.

“Some days it’s just not worth it to get out of bed.” Zephyr exclaimed before wincing at the alcohol on the scratches.

---Gin’s bedroom---

1am in the morning

Gin opened his eyes for the umpteenth time that night. Bright’s words still floated around in his head. How did he usually fall asleep? Did he look up? Did he sleep with his forelegs outside or inside the blanket? He let out a quiet groan.

“And now I have to go to the toilet as well, of course! I am never going to get any sleep, am I?” He said to himself. He moved to throw off his blanket, but found himself unable to do so.

“What the…” He tried to move his limbs, but nothing responded. “It seems that my body is disagreeing with my mind and has gone to sleep by itself.”

Never mind, he could probably hold out till tomorrow morning… the pressure in his bladder seemed to increase as if mocking him. “No… I can’t... I should not have drunk that much strawberry milk before bed time!”

“Bright… oi~ *Tasuke~”

*Ossan: ‘Old man’, generally used as an insult or less formal.

*Oji-san: ‘Old man’, a honorific used for elderly men.

*Tasuke: ‘Help’

So, you may be asking me 'What the hell took you so long?' And I COULD mention all the things that took most of my time in the last few weeks, but I'd need to make the chapter twice as long if I did that, so I won't.

There's no real reference in this chapter, but a lot of cameos to make up for it!

And I tried to get my 'Tick, Tick, Tick, Crack' in there as well, but I couldn't make it fit all that well, so I scrapped it.

Cameos:

Midnight Raider - RaiderRy4n

Trail Blazer - inoeitall

Omnius - Nathan Traveler

Drift Whitemane - Gyrofest96

White Noise - White Noise

Grey Byte - Grey Byte

Special thanks to my editor Kiroberos and everyone who pre-read this.