Poke The Horn

by FlightfulPone

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Profanity, Slice of Life
Length: 1095

Anon wants to poke the horn. Twilight: "Do not."

Anon wants to poke the horn. Twilight: "Do not."

Published 2024-07-22 20:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-22 20:30:00 UTC

But yes

"Do not."

Anon pulls his hand back. "Why?"

Twilight peeks her eyes open and levels a death glare. "Do you not see the glow around the horn? I'm trying to focus on this spell, so if you screw up my concentration, something might go wrong."

"Like what?"

Twilight raises an eyebrow. "What, does it matter? Maybe it'll, I don't know, explode in your face and mine? Or it'll turn your hand into water. Or nothing at all. Why do you want to risk it, you gain absolutely nothing."

"Yes, but I can say I've poked your horn now."

Twilight sighs in frustration. "Why are you even here, shouldn't you be bugging Rainbow to hang out?"

"Actually, she's the one who does that." Anon corrects. "Come on, weren't you the one who was also keen on bugging me with all those questions?"

Twilight deadpans. "That was several months ago, when I knew basically nothing about your species! There was so much I could've learned, all that potential in history and sciences and mathematics that we ponies might never see for generations!" She points a hoof accusingly in his direction. "And then you turned out to be a fucking idiot who never paid an ounce of attention when you were in your school!"

Anon shrugs with an eye roll, then smirks. "Maybe I'd have paid more attention if you were the one teaching."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Anon puts his arms up defensively. "Hey, I just meant if there was a talking purple unicorn as my teacher back home, my eyes would be up a lot more than they were down."

Twilight raises an eyebrow. "Because of what, the way I teach? Or..."

"Orrrrr...?" Anon leans in slyly.

"Wha— you know what I'm trying to say, Anon."

"Oh, I do." Anon flashes a smile. "But I wanna hear you say it."

"I'm not saying fucking anything, just get the hell out of my library so I can focus already!"

Anon whistles. "Wow, look at you. It hasn't even been a few months and you've already taken to using my vocabulary like it's nothing."

Twilight's eyes widen as her cheeks redden. The glow around her horn vanishes and she growls. "N— no! YOU'VE been cursing around me with your stupid weird words all the time, how can I not start using them?! They're practically living in my head rent free at this point."

"You're welcome."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"It is to me."

Twilight scowls. "Can't you just wait until I'm done with this spell to touch my horn?!"

"Not touch, I wanna poke it." Anon clarifies. "And it looks like your spell's already done."

"Huh? What do you—" Twilight blinks. "No it wasn't! I was on the fourth stage of that enchantment, now I have to start all over again!"

"Ohhhh shit, were you now?" Anon cringes. "Eeeeeesh sorry about that. Anyway, like I was saying—"

Twilight ducks under his outstretched finger. "Get your stupid finger away from my horn!"

Anon keeps walking forward, reaching for her horn.

"What are you— hey, cut it out!" A light purple dome of shimmering light erupts around Twilight.

Anon walks straight through it like it were nothing but a sheet of water, smirking wildly. "Oooo, tingly."

Twilight rolls her eyes. "If magic could work on you, I'd teleport you right above the nearby lake myself."

"Too bad, so sad." Anon continues forward.

Twilight teleports to the upper balcony of the library, looking down at Anon in annoyance. "Seriously, please! I mean it, just let me finish my experiment, I've been trying to get this to work all morning and your presence here isn't helping at all!"

"All the more reason to get this done sooner than later." Anon eyes the stairs and begins ascending them menacingly.

Twilight's eyes widen as they dart around her surroundings, landing eventually on a bookshelf propped against the wall beside the window. Her horn glows bright as she forcibly slides it in front of the top of the stairs. She breathes a sigh of relief and—

"Oh, Twiliiiightttttt." Twilight's pupils shrink to pinpricks as she spots Anon climbing over the bookcase like a demon from a horror book. "I'm coming to fucking poke that horn, Twilight! Whether you like it or not!"

Twilight's horn flares even brighter as several dozen books begin to float around her. With a quick swing of her head, she pelts them hard at Anon, who cries out painfully on each impact and tumbles off the bookcase and down the stairs. He lands hard at the base in a crumpled mess and lays there motionlessly.

Twilight gasps. "Wha— oh my gosh, Anon!" She shoves the bookcase back to its original spot and gallops down the stairs, looking over his still form. "Anon, can you hear me?" She pokes him carefully in the side. "Ohhh he's not breathing. He's not— what have I done?"

She gently nudges him over so he's laying on his back. "I— I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard, I was just trying to get you away and—"

His eyes fly open as his hand shoots up and presses a finger against the tip of her horn. A mischievous grin forms on his face. "Gotcha."

Twilight blinks. Her eyes slowly slide up to the finger pressed to her horn, then back down to Anon's snickering form. Her horn begins to glow.

"And then I was like, 'whoosh!', then Soarin looked at me as I flew by, and he was all shocked! Then I—"

A loud boom echoes through the air.

Rainbow freezes and looks up at the sky. "Did you hear that?"

"Sure did." Applejack nods tiredly, then tilts her head to glance behind Rainbow. "Say, is that who ah think it is?"

Rainbow follows her gaze to a distant, bipedal form tumbling wildly through the sky in a graceful, upwards arc, all the while screeching in pure terror. "Yeah, looks like him."

"I told him not to bug Twilight." Applejack sighs. She narrows her eyes. "Ah'd reckon he has maybe thirty-seven seconds left before he hits the dirt."

"Woah, how can you tell?"

"I've spent a decade bucking falling apples, I've got a good sense of how things fall."

"Wowww, that's so hot."

"What?"

"What?"

"..."

"...should I go catch him?"

"...let the feller have ten more seconds, that'll either teach him that lesson, or give an extra two weeks before he does it again."

Author's Note

dont ask lol
I was bored
And I'm tired