Chapters Sunset gazed empty-eyed as she watched her mentor depart. Motionless, dazed.
Defeated.
Her plans stripped out from under her. Years of bending the knee, heeding her call, all for her to fall.
Pointless.
Light flickered, reflecting off the marble and stained glass, shimmering endlessly as the shadow of the sun bore down on her. She shivered.
Cold.
Her gaze remained where her mentor once stood, for how long, she wasn't sure. Could have been hours, she didn't know, nor did she care.
All she could perceive was the mental image of Princess Celestia, that fake smile plastered on her muzzle. Her eyes full of barely disguised disgust for her failed pet project. Her stance tall, emanating authority; her final parting words reeking of nothing more than empty platitudes forged from millennia of trial and error to instill loyalty amongst her subjects.
Never forget that I care for you, Sunset Shimmer...
Lies. All lies.
Her hug. Celestia’s forelegs had wrapped around her, slow, methodical, as if wondering if Sunset were worth the effort. After all, why bother, if her most recent favorite toy had broken down? The Princess could always get another plaything. She had nothing but time.
But Sunset's time, however, was running out.
A single blink interrupted Sunset’s endless staring, slow and calculating. Steady breaths filled her lungs. Outwardly, she showed no signs of distress. She steeled her emotions, honed in from studying her former teacher.
An outburst wasn't going to get her anywhere. If she was going to be denied her destiny—that there was never a plan... fine. Fine! She'd just have to take it for herself, by herself.
With new resolve, and no time to waste, Sunset glanced in every direction, and when she determined she was not being watched, disappeared in a blink.
"So inconspicuous..." she scoffed. Her smile turned downright devious as she stared into her reflection, her destiny. It was hers for the taking, and no sun goddess was going to deny her her birthright.
It would take time, yes, but when she achieved greatness elsewhere, she'd be back.
After all, why conquer one world, when you could conquer two?
The corner of her mouth faltered, a sigh escaping her lips as she held her head low.
It doesn't have to be this way , a small voice in her head told her. Maybe her teacher was right.
Former teacher, she reprimanded herself. And what, her mind fought back, are you just going to obey and languish in agony? A simple pupil— lackey—to show off as a prize to future delegations from other nations? Look at this puppet I raised. She's trained well, she can even do tricks!
No.
Time well wasted.
But no more.
It was time. Her time.
Without another thought, she rushed forward, planted her hooves on the mirror, closed her eyes, and with gritted teeth, she waited.
And waited...
And waited ...
Nothing.
No sensations, no zipping forward, no falling through.
Just cold, hard glass.
Her eyes shot open; she stepped back in a panic.
"What," she gasped. "Why..." She paused. Maybe it wasn't time yet, maybe she just calculated it wrong!
She rechecked the book. Thirty moons, there it was, clear as day
But no... She counted the weeks, the days, the hours, for this moment, all in case her original plan became a fruitless endeavor.
It was time. It was time. It was her time.
IT WAS HER TIME!
"No, no, no, NO!" she screamed, jumping forward and shoving against the glass. But it didn’t budge.
No magic. No teleportation. Nothing.
Just her frantic, disheveled reflection staring back at her in abject terror. Her physique taking in sharp breaths unable to be steaded, her head endlessly shaking in disbelief.
Lifting a hoof she banged against it, but the mirror remained steady, and although she was ready, it was not.
Thirty moons.
The mirror began to fog as she leaned against it, as if reflecting her inner turmoil while the universe played out some sick joke. Her breathing became more ragged, her appearance haggard as her thoughts continuously clamored for an answer. Anything.
Okay, Sunset, don't—you're fine. It's fine! Use your head. You can work this out.
She struggled to steady her breathing, to clear her mind, to do something to calm down, but it wasn’t happening, Celestia's teaching be damned. She didn't have time for tea and meditation!
She stepped back, and gave the portal a once over, even going around it to see if there was anything out of place. She didn’t know what she was looking for, or if there was anything to find to begin with, but she had to do something, right?
Right?!
No time.
She grunted in frustration and bared her teeth.
Think, think! she internally screamed at herself.
Thirty moons. That was all the book had said. Thirty moons. Twenty-two of which she’d had to wait out, and it had all been completely pointless! Like Starswirl himself mocking her from the grave. Just like Celestia.
Just like Celestia.
Heat rose to her ears, the ringing became more pronounced by the second. A buzz grew, the focus: her temple.
She'd been made a fool of.
A great fire lit in her soul as her life flashed by: the morning meditations, the boring delegations; the long, sleepless nights studying in the library; the great gulf that grew between her and her mentor with each passing day. All of it a giant waste of time.
The base of her horn felt hot, an eerie azure aura flashing to life as it overtook her horn entirely.
And in the tempest: a face, a look of indignation loomed over her, judging, smiting her down from where she stood. Her words of cold comfort washed over her as they replayed in her mind, endlessly mocking her.
Your future, Sunset. Yours, and yours alone.
Alone.
She screamed.
In a manic rage, she unleashed her fury incarnate. Her beam was like that of a blazing sun, releasing energy at the apex of a solar flare. It poured into the mirror; it greedily lapped up the energy like a dehydrated mare dying of thirst.
Seething, her mind was in a blank slate, as she was unable to control her own actions, letting her primal self take the reins. A bead of sweat traced down her cheek; the ringing in her ears grew louder. Her temples ached.
The mirror continued to take in what it was granted, the magic starting a vortex at center; the mirror had an otherworldly glow now.
The amethysts lining the outer rim of the mirror fizzled, a white gleam radiating from their very being. In moments, their glow coalesced, their purple coloring collapsing in on themselves; in their place wicked rubies formed, overtaking them entirely.
The pain grew. Was she screaming? She was vaguely aware of anything at all; a billowing smoke of white from her periphery was pushing and pulling.
And in that storm, in a fraction of a moment, an eerie calm washed over her. Time came to a stand still.
A blink.
A single intrusive thought reared its ugly head in her stupor. A single cold hard truth.
I have no future.
A wave of dread washed over her, and in her single moment of realization, she faltered.
Her magic dissipated, the tug she felt released.
She gasped, her intake of air sharp and painful. The ache in her head, insurmountable. Cold sweat poured in the equally cold marble below.
And when she finally calmed, she shakily attempted to stand.
No destiny.
She choked, wavering once more. Her eyes clouded over, the colors of her surroundings blended together into one ugly conglomerate. All save for one focal point: the mirror, completely unphased by her rage.
Just another failure.
Another thought coiled around her, leaving her helpless as it whispered one final truth.
You have nothing.
She collapsed.
And although her certainties crumbled beneath her, she could at least count on one certainty: the floor would remain.
Cold and tethered, Sunset weathered the reality that came pouring in.
Nothing.
Sobs were all that remained.
A cool breeze greeted her beyond the archway leading out into the castle grounds. It was nightfall. The sun had long since made its departure with the promise of returning tomorrow.
Gods, she hoped not.
How she'd managed to make this far was a question she'd persistently asked herself as she passed the series of stationed guards leading out.
She was certain that they had to have been aware of what transpired, she'd made quite the fuss after all, but no. Somehow she'd failed to draw the attention of Celestia's most astute and well-trained guard.
She wanted to laugh.
If she'd succeeded, would they have not noticed her disappearance? Would it take Celestia's return to seek answers?
Hilarious.
So why did she feel like curling up into a ball and hoping the night would last forever?
She resisted the urge to sigh; a futile attempt to hold onto what dignity she may have left.
She should have been grateful she wasn't spending the night pacing in a cell, dreadfully waiting for the Princess' return. She'd seen her upset before, always with restraint, so what would she be like twenty meters underground, out of the presence of the public eye, and in the presence of a seven year experiment gone awry?
It wouldn't be pretty.
A scathing look would be the least of her problems, if that alone didn't turn her into ash. She'd be told how much of a failure she was, and how she'd be lucky to see the light of her former mentor's star ever again.
In a sick, twisted sort of way, she kind of wished that would still end up being the case. At least then she'd finally hear the truth.
But, no, here she was moving aimlessly through the fields of well-kept grass, a free mare.
It felt like a slap to the face.
Was she really so weak and powerless that the guard didn't need to bother keeping an eye on her now? Had Celestia simply waved off their concerns before her leave?
A bitter chuckle escaped her lips as she shook her head at the thought.
Trudging on, her eyes traced the landscape before her. She vaguely took in the overlapping trees, their leaves bristling in tune with the breeze. The flora, most of which she couldn't name, an assortment of blues, pinks and oranges, trailed along the well-kept path.
It set her teeth on edge, her jaw clenched hard enough to hurt.
Oh, but that wasn't all: statues—most of those she could name, but only because they seemed to symbolize some importance about harmony or something equally stupid Celestia had—
Her ears swiveled at the sound of laughter. She stood stock still for a moment, listening as it seemed to echo everywhere and nowhere all at once, before fading away.
Like a mirage.
She shook her head, rubbing her still aching temple. She must be going crazy. Overexerting oneself by stretching the limits of what they're capable of in thaumaturgy was liable to do that to anypony, even her.
She kept moving, but not before glancing back one more time just to be sure she wasn't being tracked.
She wasn't scared—she still had some magical reserves left after all. In any case, they'd be foolish to challenge her.
She took a steading breath, but no relief came.
The imposing height of the hedges passed her by in a myriad of twists and turns, beckoning her forward with a promise of losing her way in a vast maze. But as appealing as the thought sounded, she knew it wouldn’t last... Celestia would burn it to the ground in search of her for one reason or another, and even if she didn’t, well, Sunset wasn’t too keen on starving to death.
She kept moving.
Beyond the maze, in her daze, just down a simple ways, she found floral displays deserving of being razed—Gods she was tempted to set it all ablaze.
Dancing in the moonlight, mocking her with their display, it was all so infuriating. Her eyes lingered for a moment before settling on the clearing up ahead: a fountain at its center surrounded by tangled vines, with white lilies extending forward from them as if to further taunt her.
"Um, excuse me."
Sunset froze. Were the flowers speaking to her?
Maybe she had lost her mind. Also, was it possible they could sigh? Because she was pretty certain they had done just that—
A clatter to her right; Sunset practically jumped out of her coat. "Uh, are you alright?" the voice asked.
When her senses caught up to her, Sunset analyzed: a mare, green coat, darker green mane, freckles...
Was she wearing a wide-brimmed sun hat in the middle of the night?
Sunset took a wide defensive stance with her head lowered towards the odd pony. "Who are you?" she demanded.
The other mare gave her an owlish blink, her features unchanged, which only further served to irritate Sunset. She should be tripping on herself trying to spout out something, anything, but she just sat there, unbothered.
Sunset opened her mouth, about to give her a piece of her mind, when finally, the other mare responded. "Wallflower Blush," she said simply, rubbing her leg, before adding, "We've met before."
Sunset wracked her brain, all neurons screaming at her, but no memories came to mind. Was this another lie, a trick? How many more did she have to suffer through in a single day?!
"Do you take me for a fool?" Sunset scoffed, her scowl fierce. "Tell me who you are really, or I'll…" She paused. What could she do? Her magic was nearly spent.
The other mare didn't know that though.
"...Have you thrown into the dungeons, where you'll be interrogated, and I'll find out who you really are. By force if necessary." She allowed herself a devious smirk. That would get this mystery mare squirming, surely.
'Wallflower' just stared for a moment, her eyes settling below where Sunset stood. Her mouth creased ever so slightly. "You're standing on the stem of a marigold." She pointed behind Sunset, before adding, "Could you move, please?"
Sunset looked behind, lifting her leg as she did so. Sure enough, there was the marigold, half crushed by her careless hoofsteps.
Wait, why did she care? She was tempted to stomp on it; grind it into dust to put the apathetic mare in her place. Maybe she'd finally show some semblance of fear—or any emotion for that matter!
Sunset let out an agitated grunt, deciding it wasn't worth the effort. She stepped forward, her head still lowered, her eyes ablaze. "Answer. The. Question."
Wallflower brought her eyes back up to meet hers. She blew a stray hair away, her features remaining unchanged, before finally saying, "Again, um, hey, I'm Wallflower Blush."
Sunset's eyes twitched. She took a step forward, but Wallflower stood there unabashed and added, "I'm one of the gardeners here."
Another step.
"Princess Celestia introduced us once."
That broke Sunset out of her murderous trance. "What? I don't... No...?" Sunset scrunched her face. She wanted to argue, wanted to disprove her. The only problem was that Celestia did tend to try and nudge her to meet others, to befriend them, emphasis on the try.
She supposed it was plausible she'd simply forgotten her. There was nothing seemingly remarkable about her after all: a gardener. And... one that had a dead potted plant for a cutie mark?
Okay, maybe she had met her. Sunset only kept track of potential useful assets, or threats. Everyone else was disposable. She was wasting her time even talking to her—
Wait, was Wallflower ignoring her!?
Wallflower, apparently tired of Sunset’s antics, had chosen to pick up a trowel and was now working on digging up a plant off to her side.
She was ignoring her. How dare she?
Sunset's jaw locked in place, face beet red as she thought of every possible scenario she could get away with the unthinkable.
She knew murder wasn't legal, but did it count if the recipient was a nobody?
She was tempted to find out.
"Hey!"
Wallflower paused momentarily to give her a withering look before resuming her digging through the soil.
That's it.
Sunset felt a surge rising, her horn sizzling to life. She concentrated her magic into one point, her eyes closed, her teeth clenched. She'd turn that stupid little withering pothead into—
Cold water splashed all over her, her magic fizzing out with a whimper as she spluttered from the shock to her system.
"I didn't want to do that, but I can't have you going around destroying her garden," Wallflower said with a firm glare as she set the pail aside.
Sunset blinked rapidly, her mouth agape. Thoughts raced, all colliding with one another like a series of trains crashing into Canterlot station, utterly derailed...
Wallflower's disdainful glare faltered, before dissipating altogether. "Sorry," she said, glancing behind her before turning back to Sunset. "Look, Sunset, I don't know what your deal is, and why you seem to have it out for me—you don't even remember me..." She let out a sigh before continuing, "But I have a long night ahead of me. Several plants need transplanting, new ones need to take their place." She waved around them. "Most of what you see is getting relocated. Tonight ," she emphasized by rubbing an eye, exhaustion apparent.
Suddenly, Sunset's hindlegs gave out, her strength feeling all but sapped from her as she fell on her rump.
Wallflower's brows furrowed; reluctantly, almond eyes met cyan, searching.
Sunset open maw closed after a brief pause, she blinked. Listlessly she stared back, thoughts starting to become coherent.
She wished they hadn't.
Failure.
A sickeningly predominant thought that outweighed all others. Anger stood no match and was washed out by the icy grip of the former, and only then did she realize how cold she really felt.
She shivered.
Wallflower took notice. "Um, hey, I got some towels in the greenhouse, let me go grab them—"
"I'm fine," Sunset interjected, but cringed at her own voice. Her intention to sound demanding came out more like a pathetic croak.
Wallflower bit her lip, hesitation apparent. "I'll be right back," she said, mind made up as she took off in a hurry.
"I'm fine—" Sunset tried once more with a bit more spite, but her voice petered out when she noticed her demands had once more been completely and utterly ignored.
Shet let out a breath of disbelief; a chuckle burbled out of her but she felt completely disconnected from it.
Great, she thought. Just fantastic. Wonderful.
She was starting to wonder if perhaps she was just having a nightmare. A very long lasting, vivid nightmare, one in which she could feel the bite of the night...
Another bitter laugh escaped her lips.
How had everything gone so completely wrong?
Before her mind could derail and relay everything that had happened in vivid detail for the sixtieth time, she felt something wrap around her shoulders, her eyes catching a glimpse of cotton overhanging her.
Wallflower stepped around and gave her a look over. She fidgeted in place for a moment, a hoof tracing the dirt absentmindedly. When Sunset looked up, her eyes meeting hers, Wallflower froze, her eyes immediately looking away before she said, “Okay, um, let me know… let me know if you need anything.” She winced, and after a bit of hesitation, moved back to the plot of dirt she’d been digging.
What was up with this mare?
"Thanks," Sunset said, her voice quiet.
Then she blanched, eyes popping out as she realized what she'd just said.
Why are you thanking her you idiot!?
Wallflower stared back in surprise, before shrugging. "Sure," she said simply, before grabbing the trowel and digging once more.
Sunset opened her mouth as she thought of how she could take back the empty gratitude she'd given—she clearly didn't mean it—but nothing substantial in how she could accomplish that came to mind.
She groaned.
Whatever, it's not like it matters anyway. After tonight, nothing does. My life is ruined.
She clicked her tongue, attempting to dismiss the thought, but it was pervasive and becoming more convincing by the moment.
With a sigh, she eyed the towel she'd been given, lit up her horn and got to work drying herself off. No point in being devastated and cold.
Funny that. Another dark chuckle. As she continued through the motions, she glanced upwards and she froze at the sight of the moon.
Huh, was it always this bright?
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
Sunset's head shot over to the voice; Wallflower winced as their eyes met, and she fumbled with the potted plant she lifted into the wagon.
Sunset snickered. "Yeah, it's alright," she admitted with a wry grin. “Beats the sun anyway.”
Wallflower's ears perked up. She glanced up at the moon with Sunset, the beginnings of a smile graced her.
Sunset rolled her eyes. This peace and tranquility stuff was never really her cup of tea— but then, neither was tea. She started working on drying her tail to have something else to focus on.
"Have you ever thought, or... um..." Wallflower trailed off, her face scrunched up.
"Hmm, yeah, I think I've had thoughts," Sunset sarcastically remarked, pretending to be lost in them as she nodded along.
"No! I mean, ugh... I'm not used to this," Wallflower grumbled, her cheeks flushing.
"Used to what? Talking? Using your brain?" Sunset jabbed as she shook each hind leg, droplets of water flinging off.
Wallflower threw her a nasty look, but it quickly folded into more of a pitiful pout. "You're a jerk, you know that?"
"Probably, yeah," Sunset admitted with a shrug.
"I was just going to ask—you know what? Never mind," Wallflower sighed. "Don't know why I even bother..." Wallflower worked on the next plant, this time facing away from Sunset. Her trowel dug into the soil with more force than before.
Good, I didn't want to hear you babble on anyway... Sunset thought, rolling her eyes at the back of this annoying little drama queen.She turned away, deciding to no longer pay Wallflower any mind as she continued to dry herself.
The silence, although welcome at first, soon became her thought's accomplice, leading her down the same rabbit hole she kept finding herself shoehorned into.
Her mind's vision dealt its hand: a featureless fate. No destiny, no ascendence, no wings. Just the sun setting on her life, without warmth or peace. A meaningless end to a meaningless existence.
A failure.
Just Celestia's little puppet, dangling at the end of her strings for the rest of her life. If she were lucky.
And if she wasn't? Well, she supposed being locked in a cell wouldn't be too bad, there'd be no pretending in being a failure then.
There was that word again. Failure.
The thoughts kept rolling, keeping her stationary. She didn't realize she was starting to shake, her breathing starting to pick up pace.
Just a failure, forever and ever—no way out, no way forward.
It drove her mad, she couldn't stand it, anything was better than being stuck with her thoughts.
She wiped the accumulating sweat off as her gaze shot over to the other mare, but the petulant little gardener was still ignoring her.
Failure.
"Hey..." Sunset trailed off, her voice hitched.
What are you doing? Her mind asked. Just leave.
And go where!? she shot back, frustration and panic starting to take hold.
The gardener stood up and moved the next potted plant to the wagon, but otherwise paid her no mind.
A flash took hold of her mind; an endless upstream river, her at the bottom chained and drowning.
Shit, what was her name... Wa-Wall—LEAVE.
She wiped another bead of sweat, her eyes scanned the other mare, looking for anything, after a moment they landed on her hindquarters: that dead potted plant cutie mark.
No, it wasn’t just a plant. It was a flower.
"Wallflower," she tried again, now biting her lip. How'd I even forget that? She said it twice.
Because it doesn't matter!
Failure.
Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP. SHUT UP!
"What?" Wallflower grumbled, wincing as she dug a bit too deep, too quickly, striking the roots.
"I..."
Who's the idiot who can't talk now?
"Moon!" she shouted.
What?
That got Wallflower's full attention. She turned around and gave her a look of confusion. "Huh?"
Sunset blushed in annoyance, wanting to hit herself for her stupidity.
Got to commit now, Einsteed.
"I—ugh. Okay..." Sunset took a deep breath, dispelling her inner turmoil, if only for a moment. "You wanted to say something—" she waved her hoof around "—we were looking at the moon. What was it?" This is stupid...
Wallflower narrowed her eyes. "Alright, what gives? You show up out of nowhere, harass me for doing my job, call me stupid—"
"I never directly said that—"
"And then you try to destroy the plants in her garden for... for what? Giving you my name? Because you forgot me?"
Sunset grimaced. She wasn't planning on destroying the plants, but she couldn't deny the possibility as an indirect consequence of her plan to... hurt her.
Wow, I really am a jerk, huh?
"And now, after being the biggest jerk in the history of ever, you care about knowing what I was going to say?" Wallflower stomped the ground in frustration. "I don't buy it! I don't buy you. Just..." She sighed, her head dipped low. "Just leave me alone."
Sunset opened her mouth but couldn't find her voice. A small, defiant part of her was furious and rebelling. It wanted to hurt, it wanted to smite.
You're right, I don't care! You were probably going to say something stupid anyway.
She bit her lip, preventing her tongue from lashing out.
Fine! Enjoy your stupid little project that'll get you nowhere in life and leave you completely unfulfilled.
She shook her head in an attempt to dispel the thoughts—a pointless endeavor.
Aww, are you going to cry? Lil' cry baby mare's feelings got hurt?
Her vision went blurry, concealing an already obscured world as she found herself too lost in the onslaught.
What a failure. I don't even know what Celestia saw in you in the first place.
They wouldn't stop. They wouldn't stop. They wouldn't stop—
Failure. Failure! FAILURE!
There was a voice, was it hers? Was she screaming? Was it a plea? Was it all in her head? Had she finally lost it after losing everything? Did it matter?
She felt a stir, was it herself? Was her body moving on its own, an automatic flight response to herself?
Another push, a voice deafening and silent; she didn't answer, how could she? She didn't have the answer. What was there to say? She failed, she failed and there was nothing she could do.
The voice again, this time she was sure it was a plea, but it didn't sound like her own.
Leave me alone. Leave me alone!
"Sunset!"
The exclamation lanced through Sunset like a perfectly chucked spear. Her head shot up with a gasp; eyes wide, but all the colors blended together, green being the primary smudge in her worldview.
A sniffle—wait, was that her own? She rubbed her eyes, feeling moisture there. Tears
Something warm touched her shoulder, causing her to wince. She looked up, her view much more clear: Wallflower, face full of concern—no pity, was looking down at her.
As Sunset stared into those almond eyes, no response came to mind. Nothing did.
So she did the only reasonable thing she could.
She ran.
The garden was large, sprawling with varieties of vegetation Sunset couldn't imagine in her wildest dreams.
But right now, she was living a nightmare. A never-ending, perpetual one with no waking in sight.
For all the thoughts her mind tortured her with that day, they were being eerily quiet now in lieu of the night.
So she galloped on, an urge springing her on. She galloped on haphazardly, her destination unknown.
She ran past an arch here, a pillar there, vines, budding bushes, everything.
She'd never considered just how large the garden was until then, when everything had gone wrong.
Or perhaps it wasn't as large as she thought. Perhaps she was running circles aimlessly—she wasn't keeping track of landmarks, or anything for that matter. She just had to get away.
Where are you going!? her mind finally screamed at her.
Away!
It wouldn't last.
Thoughts came pouring back, replaying the day once more in sporadic detail. She tried to focus on what came ahead, but it mattered little.
A harrowing thought clawed at her psyche, one in which she couldn't admit, she wouldn't admit, but it didn't matter what she wanted. She was terrified, but why—
Because you have nothing.
She stumbled forward, her equilibrium suddenly at war with her, but she managed to keep a balance, if just barely.
She visibly slowed.
There's nowhere to go.
Her gallop slowed to a canter.
You're stuck.
She stopped.
She was trapped, with no real options left to her. She could run all night, but then what? Celestia would be looking everywhere for her. The portal was supposed to get her ticket out, and sure, she had no idea what to expect, but at least she wouldn't have been a wanted fugitive wherever she landed. She could’ve escaped.
Now she had nowhere else to go. It wasn’t as if she had any real resources. She had little money to her name, as all of her needs were paid for by the royal treasury. Her job was being tutored by Celestia. She’d put every ounce of effort she had and then some into said job, and now she had nothing to show for it.
So what was she supposed to do?
She resumed movement, but her legs felt heavy, her energy suddenly nonexistent as exhaustion started to creep in.
She could try to flee the country, but most, if not all nations that bordered Equestria had good relations with the Princess, and it wasn’t as if she could hide the fact that she was a pony when living among other creatures, especially when a sun goddess makes it known that she's looking for you.
She could maybe survive in the wilderness for a bit, having studied some survival guides in the past out of boredom, and with her magic it wouldn't be the worst thing. Except… what would she even be living for ? She’d have nothing to keep her going.
There was always one of the cults she’d heard rumors of, the sort that took in strangers and never question their past, but, no, she’d only accept that if she could be in charge. Otherwise it was pointless.
So, that just left...
Nothing. It left nothing.
She let out a shuddering breath. It was a sobering thought, that she'd been thoroughly bested—betrayed more like it. It tasted bitter on her tongue, like black coffee turned to sludge from being left on the burner for far too long..
In her malaise, she went on, her eyes barely registering that around her despite her slow pace. Nothing registered.
She was tired, drained; energy could be spent but there was no purpose left for it to fuel. Her bed beckoned, the castle not far behind.
She'd stay in her room for as long as she could before an inevitable knock stirred her. Celestia undoubtedly would be concerned that her prize pupil was not studying to better herself—to better Celestia's agendas. There'd be questions, and she was not prepared.
But still, her bed called her. It was the last refuge she had, and it wouldn't last.
She stared up, teary eyed and let out a bitter bark of a laugh. The moon greeted her and yet offered no words of wisdom, not that she was expecting any.
She wondered if Nightmare Moon found her state to be humorous—she wouldn't blame her.
And in her state she'd almost missed the glint of blue that she'd stumbled upon, and when she came to the realization she paused, a look of bewilderment as she fully took it in.
A flower, she assumed, an iridescent blue shimmered under the reverent radiance of the moon, sparkles akin to stardust flaking off of it in the gentle breeze. As she watched the bespeckled white drift away, her jaw dropped.
A sea of ghostly blue greeted her.
She watched as they swayed away, their stardust filling the night as they greeted their ancestors from above, they twinkled in and out of sight, and what a sight it was.
Sunset hadn't realized it but she'd found herself floored, seated in place, mouth forming a silent ‘oh.’.
She sat there for an indeterminate amount of time, her thoughts desperately attempting to realign. Only then did she notice the shuffling of someone to her right, startling her out of her reverie.
Wallflower had joined her, the look of exhaustion on her face tempered only by a sense of wonder.
Not that Sunset cared.
They watched on for a bit, enjoying the view, until finally Wallflower found her voice and said, "Do you like them?"
Sunset, her voice hoarse and weary, answered, "Yes."
She eyed her from the side, Wallflower didn't meet her gaze, but she could see a faint smile.
"They're called Dusklilies," Wallflower said, a glint in her eyes. "I've been growing them for a while now."
Sunset wasn't sure what to say to that, so she just let out a noncommittal "Mm."
Wallflower scratched her neck, her smile turning nervous. "I... I wanted to find the perfect flower to greet her for her return."
Sunset perked up at that. "Her?" Her brow furrowed momentarily, then her mouth twisted into a smirk at a sudden thought. "Oh, I get it..." She adjusted to incline her head towards the other mare who looked at her in bewilderment. Sunset's smirk took on a tinge of deviousness. "Well, I'm sure your marefriend will love them," she sang with a snicker.
"What!?" Wallflower exclaimed, blushing hard. "No! I don't—they're not for—"
Sunset's redoubled laughter cut her off, leaving her momentarily stunned. Her lips thinned as she pouted in embarrassment. "Jerk..."
"I think we already established that," Sunset said, her laughter finally dying down. Her mouth creased a bit downward when she noticed the other mare's glare facing the field.
She thought about dropping it, calling it a night, but she felt compelled to say something, anything, and she wasn't sure why. "Hey..." Sunset started off, giving Wallflower her full attention. Wallflower remained unchanged, save for a half-hearted attempt to adjust an ear in her direction.
Sunset bit her tongue, a word rattled uncomfortable in her brain to her throat.
Don't say it, don't say it, there's no reason to—
"I'm sorry," she murmured. Her eyes widened, and she wasn't the only one surprised.
She wanted to berate herself. Why was she sorry?
She turned away, a bit embarrassed, and started getting up.
This is stupid, I should just—
She froze at the feeling of her shoulder being touched. "Please, don't leave." Wallflower gave her a pleading look. "Not yet."
Sunset looked at her in bafflement. What was with this mare? Didn't she want her to leave earlier? Why is she wanting her to stay now? Better yet, why'd she follow her here? It made no sense at all, leaving Sunset so puzzled that she sat back down, if only to satisfy her curiosity. “Okay…”
After a moment, they found themselves staring at the field once more, the flowers still doing their pirouette.
"So... who is she you were talking about?" Sunset asked after a moment.
"Oh, uh..." Wallflower shook her head, dispelling a thought, perhaps? "They're for..." she paused again, was she nervous?
Sunset inclined her head, but otherwise remained silent as she waited.
"They're for Nightmare Moon—for when she returns..." Wallflower finished, biting her lip, and giving Sunset an expectant look.
Sunset blinked. "You mean that old ponytale legend? That Nightmare Moon?"
"She's not a ponytale!" Wallflower shouted, whirling on Sunset, her hooves clopping against the garden tiles.. "She's real. She's real and she's coming back soon!"
Sunset stood still as a statue under Wallflower’s irate glare, until she finally said a quiet, “I know,” and looked away.
Wallflower tilted her head. "Then why—"
Sunset cut her off with a big sigh. "Because that's what the Princess told me whenever I asked." She rolled her eyes. "I'd only asked her a dozen times, and she'd always spout off the same rhetoric. 'Oh, that old ponytale? That's nothing to be concerned about,' she'd say, or she'd laugh it off and state I need to stop burying my head in dusty old books." And that I need to make friends or whatever... She kept that to herself, not willing to further embarrass herself over something stupid.
Silence took over for a moment, being only punctuated by the breeze.
Cautiously, Wallflower took several steps back before having a seat. "Did she really say all that?"
Sunset scoffed. "Yeah."
Wallflower frowned, her ears twitching. "But... she's her sister, why would she—"
Sunset's laugh punctuated the air, mirthless and cold. It caused Wallflower to leap away in surprise.
"Don't you get it?" Sunset asked, her voice going up an octave, her grin faltering.
"...No?"
"Because she doesn't care!" Sunset screamed, angry tears beginning to stream from her eyes.
Wallflower stared at her, mouth agape.
"She wants to erase her sister from history! Why do you think there's only one stupid, worn out tome that even mentions her!?"
Wallflower's lips quivered, her leg muscles tensing as if preparing to flee, but Sunset barrelled on with her rant anyway., "And not only that, but the stupid thing doesn't even mention Celestia's name, but it's clearly her, she's clearly the sister, yet Celestia plays it off like it's nothing!"
"I-I, I don't think—"
"And think about this," Sunset cut her off, more tears streaming that she uselessly tried to wipe away. Why am I crying!? "Nightmare Moon was upset, upset that nopony seemed to pay attention to her precious night, why is that?"
Silence was her only answer.
"I'll tell you why." Sunset looked her dead in the eyes. "Because Celestia took all the glory for herself! She flaunted her day, ignored her sister's pleas, and then when Nightmare Moon even showed a little bit of a backbone, Celestia banished her without a care, took the night for herself, and kept her sister as a foal's legend, as something to be scoffed at! How sick is that?"
“But… but that’s not…” Wallflower trailed off, her eyes never leaving Sunset's.
Sunset shook her head in automatic response. "Her purpose was overshadowed by the day, by Celestia; her destiny, unfulfilled. Everything she could have had was taken away from her, by Celestia. "
"It's all her fault." Sunset kicked a clod of dirt skyward, only building her rage further. "It's. All. Her. FAULT!" she bawled. Her horn ignited, unleashing a billow of flame that scorched the ground before her, narrowly avoiding the closest Dusklilly.
There she went again, crying. And crying in front of a stranger no less. It was something she'd repeatedly told herself she'd never do in a million years, that she was strong, but here she was, showing weakness once more. Pathetic.
The silence was occasionally broken by that and the breeze, and where the breeze served a purpose, her tears did not. Utterly pointless, like her existence.
A rustling of hooves came from her right. Probably Wallflower looked down on her in pity, but she didn't care, she wasn't moving now.
"I tried to visit her once," Wallflower said, hesitantly, her voice hitching.
Sunset’s ear perked up, if only briefly. She couldn’t muster the effort to ask.
Wallflower continued after a moment, "Nightmare Moon. I um..." Another pause. "I tried flying up to her."
Sunset rolled her head to face her, confusion apparent under tear-stained fur.
Wallflower rubbed the back of her head. "Balloons, I um, tied myself to a bunch of balloons."
Silence.
Sunset snorted, shaking her head in disbelief.
"I did!" Wallflower defended, pouting. "And I got pretty far up too!"
"Sure... let's say I believe you..." Sunset finally said, drying her eyes and sitting up. "How'd you get back down?"
Wallflower faltered at that for a moment before sitting back up straight. "I, um... Princess Celestia saved me."
A blink. "What?"
"I flew past the castle, Princess Celestia was out on her balcony. She saw me, and came up to meet me."
Of course she did... Sunset sighed, but waved her on to continue. "Then what?"
"We talked for a bit, she gave me a job of being a gardener here and..."
Sunset raised a brow and waved her hoof in a circle. “And?”
"And, we talked about Nightmare Moon."
Sunset’s nostrils flared with a snort. "Yeah? Did she tell you about how you should stop worrying about an old ponytale too?"
"No..." Wallflower shook her head. "She... she told me that when she returns, she'll have ponies ready to heal her, to cure her of the nightmare."
Sunset grit her teeth, fuming at the prospect that the Princess would keep that information from her, but would tell some random filly. "Did she now?" she sneered.
The other mare faltered, her ears splaying down. "Yes, and... she seemed really sad."
Far from what she seemed like when I asked her... she thought, clearly remembering surprise, but nothing beyond that.
"She doesn't want to leave her alone, she wants to help her."
"Oh, please..." Another scoff escaped her. "She was only saying that to you because you were a foal, and foals will believe anything they're told. She was just trying to appease you, that's all. End of story."
"You're wrong," Wallflower shot back, causing Sunset to rear back in surprise.
"And how do you know that?" Sunset said, recovering, getting up and giving her a glare. "How do you know she wasn't just lying?" Far be it for her to do that...
"I told the Princess I wanted to dedicate a section of the garden to Nightmare Moon," Wallflower said, her features pained. "But I couldn't find the right flowers to do so..."
"What does that have to do with—"
"She left without a word," Wallflower continued, unabashedly. Sunset's eyes twitched, but otherwise kept quiet. "I was confused, thinking that I'd angered her, wondering what she was going to do to me..." Wallflower glanced at the field. "But she returned shortly after, not with the guard, but with a sproutling, a Dusklily."
Sunset resigned to letting her continue without further interruptions, her curiosity outweighing her annoyance. She sat back down, grumpily mumbling something incoherent.
"She told me they were her favorite, a native plant of the Everfree Forest." Wallflower smiled. "I didn't understand the significance of it at the time, but I took it, nurtured it and..." She waved her hoof out in a wide arch before dropping it. "They only bloom in the night, their petals fold up in the day, reverting back into a sproutling state, unassuming—invisible." Sunset thought she caught Wallflower's mouth wavering at that, but it was hard to tell with her head tilted away from her.
So instead, Sunset followed her gaze, her face scrunched up in contemplation as she watched the moon with her.
"Every night," Wallflower punctuated. "Every night she came out here. Sometimes right after raising the moon, sometimes much later, but I always caught a glimpse of her watching over the field. Sometimes briefly, sometimes for much longer, but I always caught her. What does that tell you?" Wallflower inclined her head.
Sunset raised a brow. "That she really likes these flowers, I guess? I don't see what you're getting at," she lied. So what? she thought. She's making up for past sins by having someone else plant nice flowers as a memorial? She held her jeers back, waiting for Wallflower to get to the point already.
Wallflower let out a groan in frustration. "No! I—look, you weren't there, but you should have seen her... She misses her, Sunset, she really does. If she didn't, why would she bother coming out here?"
"Because, Wallflower, " she drew out her name in exasperation, spittle flying out, her patience running dry. "She's mocking her. "
Wallflower opened her mouth, but was stunned to find her jaw couldn't move, a cyan glow coming from Sunset's horn. Her eyes widened.
Sunset let out a grunt, dropping her magic to rub her temple. "Think about it!" She waved out to the field before them. "She approved a secluded section of the garden—far away from most prying eyes—I'd never even seen this, let alone heard of it!"
Wallflower shuffled uncomfortably in her spot, clearly itching to say something, but opted for rubbing her neck.
"If she really gave a damn about her sister, even just a little bit, why would she keep her mouth shut about her!? The book, remember? Nightmare Moon? Yeah, that's not even her real name! That's just a name she'd adopted after turning into the nightmare, Wallflower! Her name, her real name, isn't even mentioned ONCE!" Sunset seethed, her head jolted to Wallflower who withered under her heated glare.
Sunset took quick, sharp breaths, her hair a shaggy mess, covering an eye. She trembled, her head moving like it was on a swivel. "You don't know her, you've only seen what she wants to show you. You don't get to rule a thousand years without real opposition without adopting a benevolent façade. She's had practice, a lot of it. She told me as much." Her face fell, rage dimmed out in an instant, replaced by cold reality as she turned away. "It's so obvious looking back."
She was such a fool. Celestia never would’ve let her ascend, not if it meant threatening her authority.
The quiet that came after remained for some time, long enough that Sunset began to wonder if she'd scared off the mare—not that she cared, the silence was a nice exchange for misplaced optimism. So why did she feel terrible?
A rustle to her right after some time confirmed she hadn't. "I... I don't know why she kept a secret, but..." Wallflower started out gently, hesitating to move near the other mare at first, but Sunset didn't put up a fuss.
"She has a plan, she told me," Wallflower continued.
Sunset rolled her eyes, but otherwise kept her mouth shut.
"Her sister will be freed soon, and she will have ponies save her from the Nightmare."
Despite Wallflower’s proximity, Sunset didn’t budge, instead letting out a long, bitter sigh. "And then what?" she asked, glancing up at her. "Her sister comes back and everything is fixed and perfectly fine?" She rubbed her head before letting her leg limply fall to her side. "Give me a break... She'll come back, an unknown pony, adjusting to a new world, and be back at square one, ponies not caring about her or her stars. Nothing will change. Celestia will remain the one true ruler and her sister will just have to get over it."
"She made mistakes—they both did. They're not perfect, nopony is."
"Still makes mistakes," Sunset corrected as she spit the ground. "She's making the same mistakes even today. She hasn't learned a thing."
"...You said that I don't know her like you do, but are you sure you know her as much as you think you do?"
Sunset's stare bore holes into her. She was furious, but she couldn't find fault in her question. Sunset would like to say that she did know her past mentor—she'd studied under her for several years at this point, but, after today?
Wallflower shook nervously but stood her ground. "She cares. She cares about her sister, and..." She let out a breath. "I don't know what happened between you two, but... I know she cares about you too."
There it was again, that pestering optimism. Sunset growled. "You don't know what she said, you don't know what she's really like. You don't know her, you don't know me. Stop making baseless assumptions."
Wallflower let out a sigh. "Fine. You're right. I don't know you."
Sunset snorted.
"But I would like to."
A whirlwind of emotions tugged at Sunset, leaving her directionless, speechless. Had she misheard her? No, she certainly did not, but she didn't have the faintest clue how to respond to that. It was so out there, a complete one-eighty from everything that's happened up to that point. When the tempest died down, she settled for the reigning emotion: complete and utter confusion.
Sunset raised her head to stare at her in disbelief. Wallflower shuffled awkwardly in place, appearing unsure of what to say either.
Finally, Sunset broke the silence, "You don't talk to many ponies, do you?" She furrowed her brows.
Wallflower responded by looking off to the side, finding interest in everything else, her silence answering Sunset's question.
She wanted to scoff at her for even suggesting something so asinine.
...But she didn't have the energy for it.
Sunset blew a stray tuft of hair away from her face. "What's there to know?" Not much anymore... She let out a bitter chuckle, deciding to humor her. "Hey, I'm Sunset Shimmer. Now you know me, happy?"
Wallflower sat down, her smile awkward and crooked. "Hi, I'm Wallflower Blush. Nice to meet you, Sunset." She rubbed her own hoof.
Sunset blinked at her, Wallflower blinked back.
They burst out laughing. It was ridiculous, it was awkward, but Sunset at that moment didn't care.
They stayed like for a while—tension all but gone. For a moment, Sunset's worries simmered in the background.
It was… nice?
Sunset was the first to break out of her hysterics, Wallflower following shortly after.
It wasn’t meant to last though. Sunset let out a breath, and got up. “Alright,” she coughed. “Uh, I should probably head back. I’m pretty tired…” It wasn’t a lie, per say, but she felt compelled to leave, she didn’t know how to handle what was happening, and she didn’t want to admit it. She hoped this would all just blow over, and…
Well, she’d just have to see what the next day brings, she guessed.
She got up and started trotting away without another word.
“Wait!”
Sunset paused, inclining her head to give her a glance.
“Will… will I see you again?”
Sunset pursed her lips. She wanted to say no, but she didn’t know, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “I don’t know,” she finally admitted. “Why?”
Wallflower gave her a dejected look. “Oh… Um, then…” She trailed off.
Sunset thought that’d be that, but Wallflower continued, “It was nice getting to know you, or well… getting to talk to you, I mean.”
Sunset looked at her like she’d lost her head. Nice? she thought, trying to process that, but failing. What part of their interactions, outside of a brief lapse of cognitive dysfunction would she have considered to have been nice? “Uh, thanks?” she offered, not sure of what else to say.
Wallflower gave her a pained smile. “See you then.” She half-heartedly waved before turning away and heading back, presumably to the section of the garden she’d been working on earlier.
She was slouched, head drooped.
Sunset watched for a moment, biting her lip, turmoil roiling as she felt conflicted at watching the dejected mare slink off.
She wasn’t sure why she seemed to care about seeing her again, Sunset was pretty sure she’d been nothing but an absolute jerk that night to her, so why in the world did she want to see her again?
Better question, why did she feel horrible for any of this?
“Tomorrow!” Sunset yelled, shocked that her voice felt compelled to speak with a mind of its own.
Wallflower stopped, ears perked.
“I uh, you work in the gardens every night, right?” She wanted to facehoof for asking such a dumb question…
“Um, yes…?” Wallflower supplied, facing her now.
Great, now what, Shimmer? She wondered how she’d managed to find herself in this mess, but shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Great, I’ll… swing by sometime tomorrow? Maybe around the same time?”
Wallflower’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and although Sunset couldn’t tell, she’d thought she’d caught a glimpse of a spark in her eyes.
“Uh, okay! Yes. That’d be… nice,” Wallflower chirped, her smile contagious, and making it hard for Sunset not to smile back.
“Alright then…” Sunset rubbed the back of her head. “See you later then.”
“Okay, uh, goodnight, Sunset!” Wallflower waved with much more vigor, before trotting away, head held high, a skip in her step.
Sunset waved as she left, her smile trailing off once she was out of sight. She wasn’t really sure she’d meant it, but she didn’t want to see the other mare so downcast. Why she felt that way, she wasn’t sure, but… it was there.
Just another problem she’d have to deal with…
That wasn’t quite the word. It didn’t really feel like a problem. Problems didn’t make you feel warm inside, did they?
She supposed that if she were stuck there for the foreseeable future, there’d be no harm showing up one more time. Wallflower, although a bit eccentric, didn’t seem all that bad, misguided and sickeningly optimistic, yes, but not bad…
Besides, she was kind of cute.
She blushed, and shook her head, trying to dispel the thought. Where the heck did that come from? she wondered, chalking it up to exhaustion.
She’d deal with that later, as well as… everything else. She groaned. She wasn’t getting much sleep, that was certain, and tomorrow was going to be terrible.
As she began leaving, she paused, taking a glance over her shoulder, the bespeckled sea of blue still there.
But, maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.
Despite no plans of action yet, Sunset found herself leaving that night with a smile.
Celestia’s wings beat steadily as she arced and angled through the winds in the skies over the garden, adjusting ever so slightly to descend to a better vantage point. Her horn glowed steadily, keeping herself and the pair of guards accompanied her hidden from view.
Despite her centuries of practice with patience, her every movement carried with it a measure of tension. Not anything anyone save the most keen and observant would notice, but she could feel it.
When she received word that her student… that Sunset had attempted to open the gateway into another realm, to flee from her own…
Fear.
She’d been forced to leave the delegates without an explanation, as time was of the essence. She’d even teleported back to Canterlot, an expenditure of magic she rarely used.
“Up ahead,” the guard on her left called, knocking her temporarily from her thoughts. He pointed to the clearing.
She couldn’t— no, she wouldn’t lose another. Time for reflection would come later, now she needed to see her. But… She glanced at the guards to her sides. “Thank you, I can handle it from here. You’re both dismissed.”
One appeared as if he’d wanted to say something, but thought better of it. After a moment, they broke off, leaving her alone in her descent.
Alone to her thoughts, albeit briefly, she realized she wasn’t sure at all what she’d say. All she knew was that Sunset was hurt, and it was her fault, and she didn’t know how, and that scared her.
Just like with Luna… A pang of pain ripped at her at the thought. Just like with her sister, she’d failed to be there for Sunset.
She had many years to contemplate one loss. The last thing she wanted was more years to contemplate another.
She should have never told the guard to monitor, and only monitor her activities while she was gone. She was lucky Sunset stuck around.
But what could she say? What was she supposed to tell her? Kindness hadn’t worked. Nor had discipline. Sunset was so difficult sometimes. Worth every moment, but so difficult.
The ghostly azure flora greeted her. Not where she’d expected to find Sunset, and not somewhere she’d have looked—her eyes widened. Sunset wasn’t alone.
Wallflower Blush, Celestia mimed her name, genuinely surprised. She stopped, hovering in place.
It seemed they were… just chatting.
Celestia looked around, spotting an area well away, a hill with plenty of bushes. She angled down and made her way, gracefully touching the ground silently.
She watched on.
A curious pair, she thought. They seemed to be… getting along, she wanted to say, but cringed when she saw Sunset frantically waving a hoof about, clearly upset about something.
She was fearful of the escalation, and she almost decided to put an end to it, but decided to hold on. After all, while Sunset was prone to fiery outbursts, they always flickered and faded if the right words were supplied. And although Celestia hadn’t spoken often with the reclusive, self-conscious and quirky gardener, what words she had exchanged with Wallflower had always come after finding common ground.
She looked up, gazing into the moon, a twinkle in her eye. A common ground, such as her sister.
She closed her eyes, letting the breeze wash over her. She liked to believe it was Luna being there to let her know that it’d work out, that she had it from there. It was comforting. She let out a sigh.
Soon, you’ll be home…
She pried her eyes open, they blinked in surprise when she focused back on the duo. It seemed their time was coming to a close… Was Sunset waving at Wallflower? Celestia peered closer, and saw that yes, Sunset was waving. And Wallflower seemed to be in good spirits as well.
It had worked out.
She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.
She thanked the stars, she thanked the moon… her sister.
She smiled, brighter than she’d ever had as she stared back into the orb in the sky.
“Even in your absence, you bring ponies together.”
The current changed, the breeze billowing from the front, as if to answer her, before it stopped altogether, leaving nothing but the stillness of the earth beneath her.
“Thank you.”
