The Tome of Exalted Ponies

The Falling Blossom stylist orders no soup, but keeps a watchful eye on his companions. Every time one of them might burn their tongue, he intercepts the spoonful and slurps it down before the damage can be done.

…

The cries of elemental garda birds filled the air, along with smoke and fire, as brilliant raptors of diamond flame raced towards the circle and exploded around them. The quite thoroughly scorched and savaged columns that the circle was taking cover behind were getting quite warm.

“How much longer?” Shimmer cried out, the bulk of her warform making it difficult to take any kind of real cover, forcing her bone-feather armor growths to just soak the magical acid and fire flung at her.

Not exactly wanting to peek out and check, Speaker wasn’t in much of a position to answer, but at the same time he knew that Sully was good at his work, so he based his answer more on hope than known fact: “I’m sure he’ll be back soon – and remember, once he has the staff we have to find somewhere to hide and attune to it”

A sorcerous silver chain, replete in spinning barbs, slammed into the pillar Speaker was taking cover behind, the spinning barbs of the magical metal gnawing into the stone column in a frightening display of metal teeth – a flying guillotine spell.

If nothing else the circle took solace in the fact that the orangutangs were generally really bad at aiming their spells – they were clearly more suited for magical rituals as assistants, likely to support Rakshi’s magical research and experiments. Of course, when there were that many ape sorcerers slinging spells at you then accuracy wasn’t that big of an issue – that they were also flinging their own poop at the circle was just adding insult to injury.

That’s when there was a loud screech – the orangutangs being a bit more verbal than the gorillas, and intelligent enough to use sorcery, but that screech… it was primal, panicky… and with Cash’s linguistic charms, he was able to tell the circle that it actually sounded like one of the apes was howling: “It stole it, it stole my shiny stick!”

That was all the circle needed to hear. Speaker struck Gift at the stone column he was covering behind, showering sparks upon the fuses of the smoke bombs Sully had brought along. Under the cover of thick grey smoke the circle retreated from the college of sorcery, heading towards the central spire in search of a hidey hole.

Approaching the central spire required crossing some open plazas inside the university grounds. This would normally be terrible if one was trying to stay hidden – but Sullen Hoof’s scouting quickly reported that all the gorilla guards and other apes were being herded towards Fire Orchid’s meat grinder by what few half-caste gorilla officers that were left.

“Fire Orchid needs to be careful that they don’t fan out from the university grounds and attack her from the rear” Speaker mused, not at all liking how many gorilla troops he could see bounding towards the fighting at the outer gate.

The others agreed, but Sully also pointed out that drawing the ape troops out was the whole point of Fire Orchid’s diversion: “…I also think that she’s close to breaking through. Pretty sure I can hear the fighting very close to the inner gate, not the outer gate, so Fire Orchid has been pushing the apes back”

Everyone agreed that if nothing else, then that would just make the diversion all the better – it might well also make the circle’s exit all the easier.

In the central spire, in the grand entrance hall of gleaming adamant and ever-shining jade-steel, Shimmer used some shapeshifting tricks to allow her to perform some very real animal calls. Specifically, it was one of an eastern jungle panther. With all the gorilla guards away fighting Fire Orchid and her troops, the remaining apes were absolutely terrified at the idea of a local jungle predator having snuck in to eat them, resulting in the remaining apes in the area scattering and fleeing with great haste.

“Perfect – this should buy us enough time to attune to the sorcery staff” Shimmer proudly proclaimed.

Sunrise frowned as she stepped out of the shadows into the entrance hall: “They’ll be back before I’ve attuned to the staff. We’ll need to find somewhere to hide, somewhere we can keep the apes out”

The circle had agreed that Sunrise should attune to the staff of sorcery, chiefly on the grounds that she was the only one among them who had initiated into second circle sorcery – not that she really considered herself a sorceress, but still. Speaker had also examined the staff, and found the beautifully carved orichalcum and jade staff had been made to synergize with sorcerous essence patterns, drawing in ambient essence to aid in casting sorcery, which would make it a lot easier for Sunrise to keep putting up counterspells for their next encounter with Rakshi, assuming that she had attuned to it by then.

Sullen Hoof picked the lock to an office that appeared to have been untouched for centuries. The air inside was musty, and the cobwebs so thick they had to be cut with a blade – but after closing and locking the door behind them, the circle was able to give Sunrise the time needed to attune to the staff of sorcery. Twenty or so minutes later, Sunrise arose from her meditation with the staff glowing softly with a golden light at its jewelled tip: “It is with a heavy heart that I accept the position as head of the college of sorcery”

The rest of the circle wasn’t quite sure who or what Sunrise had been talking to, but apparently the atunement process was a bit more involved than originally expected. Despite that, Sunrise quickly informed the circle that she was ready: “The spirit said the chief librarian has to swear the oath of literary guardianship. Speaker, do you know this oath?”

“I don’t – we’ll have to get the spirit to… what?” Speaker said, just as he was interrupted by Sullen Hoof clearing his throat.

The sneaky culinarian noted that in the grand entrance hall he had seen a very large marble plaque above the main entrance: “Pretty sure it was written up on it”

It turned out that the plaque in question was several hundred yards up near the ceiling – but Speaker was able ignite his magical wings of fire and fly up to read it. Shimmer had to clear the place with another panther snarl first, but after that Speaker was able to fly up, fly down, and then swear himself in before Sunrise: “By dawns first rays and twilights last light, I swear by the tablet, the scroll and the tome that I will defend the wisdom enshrined herein”

The grand entrance hall shuddered – indeed, outside Fire Orchid, who at that point was fighting in an inner courtyard, saw the whole six-fold spire shudder. Inside crystalline walls jingled, magical lights briefly flashed on and off, and even the spire’s air-vents rotated, letting in a gust of wind that tore through the halls.

This of course also clued the apes in on the fact that something had happened – but they didn’t seem terribly aware exactly what, for the circle quickly moved on, heading up the spire towards the tome of three rings.

“Chief Librarian, I am the animated intelligence of the university, currently made to respond to the name Manon. I have your introductory briefing ready: Six hundred and twenty-four university systems out of seven hundred and five are currently inoperable. The central library index has not been properly updated in over seven hundred years. At least two thirds of the combined library inventory of the university is in an advanced state of decay…” the floating image of the young filly said calmly as she followed the circle around, revealing herself not to be a spirit, but a sentient essence construct wrought of the Sperimin university manse itself.

“Speaker, have it activate the security stuff!” Shimmer cried out, annoyed at the filly’s endless droning.

Having already steeled himself – but even finding that challenged as the filly listed off all the broken and missing things of the place – Speaker rounded a corner, only to find it blocked by over a dozen massive golems of rusty iron blocking their path: “Right – what was your name? Manon, right?”

“That is my current designation. This, along with my appearance and voice, can be customized at your instruction Chief Librarian” the filly stated, either oblivious or uncaring of what was going on around her.

“The university grounds have an ape infestation. Activate the security force – clear them out – and could you get rid of those things blocking this hallway?” Speaker quickly said, somewhat annoyed that the filly hadn’t figured out on her own what needed to be done.

The filly floated silently in the air for a moment, while Sunrise stepped up before the rusty golems blocking their path and began flinging counterspells at them. Each of them imploded quite spectacularly into piles of inert iron that quickly faded into dust, making for quite a bit of noise – but that noise was nothing compared to the tens of thousands of shrieks of apes that began to ring out all over the place.

Whatever the university’s defence force was, then it seemed to not only work – but work very well.

Their path cleared; the circle advanced to a magical crystal elevator platform with orichalcum filigree. This let them ascend very quickly, though Shimmer had to follow along by flying since the platform wouldn’t work with a lunar on it. This annoyed her endlessly, for it left her quite winded by the time they reached the upper floors of the six-fold spire: “Bloody… hell…”

The circle assembled in what appeared to be a lobby before the massive penthouse of the spire. The filly spirit thing explained that the chief librarian’s residence was currently occupied – and that clearing it would likely not be possible at the moment.

“Really? Why is that?” Cash wondered idly, feeling a lot better at that point compared to how beat up he had been at their initial incursion into the university.

The spirit flickered for a moment, then spoke: “Four brass legionnaires were dispatched to clear out the residence. Three have been destroyed, one has been returned for repairs. Further commitment of security resources has been deemed wasteful”

Speaker looked very much as if he had suddenly realized something interesting at the mention of these brass legionnaires, something Cash instantly picked up on and inquired into. Speaker gladly elaborated: “Remember the giant metal constructs we fought in Denansdor? The ‘security force’ of the university are similar, but pony-sized. Spirit, how many legionnaires do you command?”

“At the moment, one-hundred and forty-one units remain functional – all are currently deployed as your previous orders. Parts and remains of several hundred others have been stored for repairs and reassembly. Requisitions for new units have been sent to Denansdor, but none have been answered for over a thousand years”

Sunrise looked at Speaker with concern in her eyes: “Is that a lot? How powerful are these metal automatons?”

“Very. This was just what we needed to clear the university of Rakshi’s minions – but they won’t work against her, she’s too powerful” Speaker said, nodding as he tried to grasp exactly what such a force of magical warriors could be used for.

Sullen Hoof tapped the door into the penthouse: “I don’t think this is locked…”

“Of course, not – but Rakshi is no doubt lying in wait to ambush us in there” Shimmer said, sniffing the air, confirming that Rakshi’s scent led in through that door.

Sunrise shook her head and tapped her staff at the floor: “Moot point – we’re on the correct floor, so I should be able to command The Keeper from here”

As the staff struck the floor – even though it did not hit the smooth stone tiles hard in any way – it still sent out waves of golden essence. These waves of essence spread out, lighting up crystal fixtures on the walls, and moments later a mighty roar could be heard from beyond the door the circle was gathered at. Whatever Sunrise had just done, Rakshi was pissed.

“What did you do?” Speaker asked, not even sure if Sunrise had issued an order or not to the keeper.

Ever stoic, Sunrise didn’t even turn to look at Speaker: “I have summoned the keeper – and from what I can tell it was somewhere in there with Rakshi, which is likely why she sounds upset”

Sullen Hoof quickly noted that the door opened into the penthouse – so they weren’t in any risk of being smacked by them if Rakshi decided to burst out to attack them, but even then: “…I don’t think this door will hold if she decides to go through it to get us – we should at least move into cover”

Choosing discretion as the better part of valor, the circle moved to the side of the door in case anything came charging out. Just as they had gotten into position, a magical image began to manifest before them: A vision of a wise old mare wrought of impossibly elegant origami came into being, but… it was twitchy?

Maybe it was a quirk of the essence construct being many thousands of years old, maybe it was poor maintenance of the manse that manifested the thing, but Speaker beheld the being with essence sight… and what he was did not make him happy: “Sunrise, quicky before its fully manifested – tell it to go into standby to receive maintenance”

Sunrise floated her staff at the projection, her face expressing great focus and concentration. The project began to float down to the floor, its head bowed. Once on the floor it remained there, inert and unmoving, no longer twitching.

“What’s wrong? What are you doing?” Cash said, as Speaker quickly approached the keeper.

Shaking his head, Speaker said that the twitch that the keeper had was a sign that it wasn’t working right – likely a sign that Rakshi had tampered with it: “…and since this thing would normally keep a lunar from reading the adamant volume of the tome of three rings, then it stands to reason that Rakshi has been messing with the keeper to gain access to that”

“Right… and if she’s taken control of it, then it might attack us. Spirit, can you sense if the keeper has been altered?” Sunrise said, addressing the university spirit.

The floating filly orbited around Speaker and the Keeper: “Yes, the keeper has been subjected to personality-eroding charms, meant to alter its precepts. I do not have the information or access needed to undo this”

“That’s ok – I can fix this” Speaker said, as he made arcane gestures at the keeper which seemed to partially unfold some of its origami. With golden essence he erased and rewrote some of the magical sigils written upon the origami of the keeper’s form, drawing upon his first age memories of sentience artifice and his more recent memories of having attempted to rewrite the Denansdor crystal mind. This took a while, but once done the keeper folded up into its proper form again, no longer twitching.

“Your resplendencies, I am humbled by your presence. How may I be of service” the keeper said, the voice of the origami mare sounding old and wise.

Now, based on what the circle had learned so far – both from speaking with the university spirit, and from what Speaker remembered, then only Sunrise as the new head of the college of sorcery could actually order the keeper to do anything, but any solar could make politely worded requests… and being the clever little git that he was, Cash figured that he had just the right request to make: “Keeper, I would like to request a full copy of each of the three volumes of the book of three rings. Can they be delivered to me down in the entrance hall?”

The keeper bowed her head: “I shall have a full copy spun post haste. Wait. A lunar in the hearthroom appears to be destroying the copies. Correct. I would advise removing the lunar before more copies are attempted spun”

Cash sighed deeply: “So much for avoiding a confrontation”

Shimmer poked the spirit filly: “Can you show us a map of the penthouse? Where is the hearthroom?”

The image of the filly faded, replacing itself with an image of the level of the tower they were on. A highlighted path on the map showed the way to the hearthroom. The keeper chimed in, adding that the map was correct, and that the lunar in question was still fortified inside the hearthroom.

“You can call her by her name, Rakshi – we know who she is” Speaker commented.

The keeper… shivered, and twitched briefly: “I… cannot. She has forbidden me from saying her name. I am to only address her as ‘mistress’ when speaker to or about her”

It seemed that there was more to Rakshi’s influence over the keeper than whatever had caused the twitch. Because of that the circle agreed that it was the best that the Keeper power down and go inert until summoned again by Sunrise, to avoid Rakshi calling upon the Keeper to fight them, or doing anything else to mess with them.

“I shall await your summons” the keeper said, folding itself up into a nothing.

Sunrise looked at the rest of the circle, then motioned towards the door: “If she’s in the hearthroom, then she’s not waiting on the other side of the door to attack us. Speaker, you would do well to prepare for when we face Rakshi”

It turned out that she was. The moment the circle opened the door, with Shimmer up in front, and Sullen Hoof just barely managed to perceive the incoming torrent of ice and snow and cried out for Shimmer to shield them with her wings.

With just split seconds worth of warning Shimmer only barely managed to shield the circle, the large strange being summoned into being sinking away into the magical portal its head had popped out of, while Shimmer whined as her solid-frozen wings creaked and didn’t even have enough liquid blood left in it to bleed from those cracks: “Argh… don’t mind me – get her!”

The circle burst out from behind Shimmer’s frozen wings, Sullen Hoof to somewhere unseen, Sunrise charging straight ahead, Cash taking a moment to look around, Speaker similarly finding himself… confused at the lack of a Rakshi: “Where is she?”

There was no-one else around. No apes – though there were some ape corpses scattered around, Speaker quickly concluding via a few brisk autopsies that the apes had been carved up by brass legionnaires: “See those bloody hoof-prints? They’re too angular to be normal pony hoof prints – that’s automaton prints. I bet they headed to the hearthroom and got destroyed by Rakshi”

Indeed, the path of the bloody prints led towards the hearthroom.

With a loud snap, followed by the icy sound of lots of brittle things snapping on the floor, Shimmer broke off her frozen wings and healed over the nubs, absorbing the unfrozen bits back into her body: “We can grow those back later – lets go get Rakshi”

“What about the spell that just hit us? How did that work? The apes here are dead” Sullen Hoof said, sounding worried about more traps.

A quick examination of the spot where the large ice creature’s head had appeared revealed hastily drawn chalk runes: A sorcerous diagram – but how Rakshi had remotely triggered it wasn’t clear. The circle agreed that it would be wise to check for such traps as they progressed towards the hearthroom.

“A water-aspected unicorn would do wonders here – just wash the path of us with water. That would foul up that kind of spell diagrams unless drawn with paint and let dry” Cash said, eliciting more than a few nods from the rest of the circle.

Moving towards the hearthroom, with Sullen Hoof using his most potent stealth-charms to scout ahead and spot several other spell traps on their way, the circle quickly began seeking alternate routes to the hearthroom. The main hallways were all replete with magical traps, but Speaker’s singing staff made new doorways where needed, allowing for a more direct route to the hearthroom, enabling the circle to cut through messy bedrooms that reeked of monkey and sex, dining rooms with the well-chewed skeletal remains of foals lying in the corners, past kitchens with equally carved up remains of foals and adult ponies strewn everywhere. By the time the trap-scared circle reached the hearthroom the circle had very much so agreed that Rakshi was well beyond any kind of reform or salvation other than letting her reincarnate.

With a loud crash the crystal doors into the hearthroom burst open, the circle quickly galloping in, expecting another big monkey fight.

Instead, they found three shattered brass legionaries spread around the corners of the room, with a pony-form Rakshi waiting from them with too many hooves blazing with readied spells: “Die!”

Sunrise managed to counter on of the spells, but three more flashed at the circle, sending the circling scrambling for cover as a great geyser of acid erupted under their hooves, while another set of red-hot magma-tentacles sprung up around them, the third… did nothing? Maybe it missed.

Either way, Speaker leapt out of the way, targeting the magma tentacles, while Sunrise quickly flung another counterspell at the gushing geyser of corrosive goop, ending its spray of scalding and stinking liquid – but Shimmer still howled as her larger size meant she got splashed the most by the horrible stuff. Cash quickly struck at the tentacles, bringing two down at the price of burning his hooves quite badly, while Speaker hurled Gift and Homage to bring two more down. Sunrise breathed deeply and howled an ear-shattering kiai – less a cry and more a sonic pulse attack, which cracked and shattered the crystal walls of the hearthroom, as well as the crystal light fixtures – and the one remaining magma tentacle – it also left Cash unconscious, bleeding from his ears.

“Blipity bloopity blabluba blah” Sunrise commented confidently, tossing off her cloak before the acid splashed on it ate through and started to work on her.

At the far side of the hearthroom, showered liberally in broken crystal wall panelling, Rakshi lay. Her bottom half remained motionless and splayed out – she clearly hadn’t regained the use of her bottom half – but her top half was still where all the bite was, and the queen of fang wasn’t quite of out of tricks as she began to laugh.

Everyone looked at Sunrise with great confusion, before also looking at Rakshi. Shimmer glared at the mad elder: “Splabada spluuu!”

Speaker looked at Shimmer with even greater confusion: “What is going on?”

Shimmer instantly looked at Speaker, confusion in all three of her avian eyes… right until her middle third eye lit up with pale blue moonlight: “Slulu pleh pluh plah! – but she quickly caught herself, seemingly aware that something was wrong. Then she turned to Sunrise and quickly began to gesture madly with her taloned limbs. Speaker couldn’t quite see what she was doing, but Sunrise quickly nodded and started tossing conterspells around.

Shimmer turned to Speaker to show her taloned hands just as Sunrise flung a counterspell at him. Shimmer’s hands were covered in her essence webbing, spun around to spell out a sentence: “We’ve been cursed to not be able to talk right – counter it” – though as she showed it to him, she fiddled with her claws to add in “Lord Bright” at the end of it.

“Right makes sense – but where’s Sully? He might have been hit too?” Speaker said, tentatively testing if anyone understood him.

Sunrise nodded: “I think he’s right over there… behind Rakshi”

Rakshi tried to twist around – but with no use of her lower body her ability to move was greatly reduced and without any of her ape servants she was quite helpless… well… as helpless as an elder lunar ever was: “What, where?”

Speaker hadn’t really taken Sunrise for one to deploy such deception, but he wasn’t complaining. Seizing the moment, he galloped towards Rakshi while he floated several eggs out of his saddlebags. Rakshi reacted poorly but predictably to this, flinging a great shower of instantly grown poisoned spines at him, expelling them from her body. He had no hopes of dodging such a barrage, and even Gift and Homage couldn’t quite shield him, so it was with his legs and his left flank festooned with bone-needles that he reached the elder lunar and engaged her in hoof-to-hoof combat.

In fighting her it quickly struck Speaker that Rakshi was actually amazingly beautiful – like a young mare who had just come of age, the very peak of her youthful beauty, practically radiating sexual energy… expect that her combat charms were warping and twisting her into a cavalcade of offensive and defensive combinations and forms, as she swiped, parried, snapped and tried to dodge his swipes at her.

…except he wasn’t trying to hit her. He was trying to hit the eggs he had floated up in front of her, which erupted in blue light-blue puffs of smoke, as the dream fern spores inside erupted from the tiny bits of firedust essence-glue that lit off.

“What is this? Poison? Fool, I’ll drown you down in your own-“ Rakshi began, but she quickly stopped saying anything, she had fallen asleep thanks to Speaker’s lightest of touch and his dream-based martial arts.

The rest of the circle – except Cash who was still out cold – quickly gathered around Rakshi, Sunrise using her counterspell on Sully so he too could talk properly: “Ah, thank you – now Speaker, are you ready?”

“Yes – I’ll keep her busy until we get the books, then we hightail it out of here” Speaker said, sitting down comfortably while Shimmer began to recall thick chains of jadesteel from elsewhere.

Popping another egg for his own puff of dream fern spores, Speaker breathed deeply and used his own dream charm against himself, sending him off to not just dreamland – but thanks to the magical dream fern spores, to the same dreamland that Rakshi was in, for such were their powers, one often used by shamans in the far north where the icy dream ferns grew on glaciers and blossomed only under the full moons light.