It started with a Sneeze

So it turns out that I was summoned to Equestria because Trixie wanted some midnight cuddling. I could have lived my whole life without knowing that. However, I have doubts that she could accomplish such a feat. I am not doubting that she couldn’t summon someone from another dimension with enough determination. But she has stated that she was on her own when she activated the spell, furthermore, it was only meant for medium range. So something else must have happened to allow her to do what she did.

If you told me it was Twilight or maybe even Starlight herself then that would be more believable but there is no way you can convince me that Trixie, of all ponies, summon me safely on accident. Nothing short of the Alicorn Amulet would convince me that Trixie was able to summon a human from a completely different dimension.

On the bright side, nopony has figured out that I'm a human from another dimension, not that would I tell them that I am one. Despite coming here by complete accident. I have no desire to go back home. After all, home is with the heart belongs and I have no reason to break my heart. But that does leave me in my current predicament.

After Starlight went after Trixie. I got nearly scared to death alongside Sunburst by our common flying multicolored fein. Turns out Rainbow Dash was still going to look after me for that day and was testing me to see what I would do if I had some free time to myself. In other words, she was there for the entire conversation and somehow was able to keep her trap shut until after the mares left the scene. How could I forget that Rainbow Dash has a stealth mode when she hovers? It is no wonder how she was able to prank so many ponies. For a loud and brash mare, she can be quieter than Fluttershy when she wants to.

It took me a whole 10 seconds to calm my heart down and I'm pretty sure Sunburst almost peed himself when Rainbow Dash let out her Banshee Cry of a belly laugh. She wouldn't stop laughing for a minute straight. She was laughing so hard that she started crying and she had to excuse herself cuz she needed to compose herself. As she left, Sunburst and I shared a silent and mutual agreement that we would get even with her.

Anyway that was an hour ago and she has yet to return, leaving me with Sunburst. To kill time we retreated to the kitchen and agreed to compete in a game of wits, a battleground that is shared by many ponies and animals alike. I glare at my opponent across that table as he shares my determination. We remained there unmoving and unblinking, time became irrelevant as we stared each other down.

Not wanting to lose this game of wits. I resorted to a method that has won many battles in the past. Slowly I lowered my head to just the right position and before he knew what hit him. I had already won, as I blew a stream of air into his eyes just below his glasses causing him to blink. I grin victorious as he realizes what just happened, “I win,”

“That's cheating!” He rubs his eyes before readjusting his glasses,

I stick my tongue at him playfully, “Says the loser,”

Not amused he resumed his glare at me, “What is your deal?”

“You're going to have to be more specific than that,” I rolled my eyes at him, “Are you referring to a contract you wish to negotiate with me?” I move my hooves in front of me as if writing a contract before pointing at myself, “Or perhaps you are trying to understand the Enigma which is me?”

“I'm referring to your end goal,”

“Let me see,” I look up thought, “Find a place in the world for myself, maybe start a bottle cap collection, or how about eating every type of food there is,”

He grinds his teeth in anger, “I'm referring to Starlight,”

“Okay, I'll bite,” I rest my chin in my hoof, “How in the world did our conversation go from food to Starlight?”

“Look I don’t know who you are-”

“Name is Braden in case you were wondering,”

“Okay Braden, I now know you didn't mean to come here. And that you are stuck here because of the parol- Speaking of which we are going to have to discuss that with the Princess once she wakes up. But that doesn't explain how you have been acting around Starlight,”

I tilted my head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“For the last 10 minutes,” He points his hoof at me, “I have noticed that your eyes have been drifting to her during the entire conversation,”

“So what's wrong with that?” I shrug my shoulders lifting my arms in a whatever pose, “She's a very pretty Mare. Is it wrong to look at pretty Mares?”

“You know what I mean,”

“Frankly I do not,”

“Don't act dumb!”

“How am I acting dumb when you're not making any sense?”

He then stands up on the table with his forelegs making himself look taller, “What I'm saying is that I don't like how you're looking at her,”

I roll my eyes at him. I mean, I know why he's acting like this, but there's no way I can justify knowing what I know without giving away my secrets. So I think it's best if I play ignorant and have a little fun. I raise my hooves in a surrender pose lending away from him smiling, “Gee Sorry, I didn't realize you would be offended by me looking at your sister,”

No soon as I said that Sunburst lost his footing and fell face-first into the table hurting his cheek and knocking off his glasses. It took every fiber in my body and sucking in my cheek to not laugh at his misfortune. He pays no mind to his injuries or his lack of sight as he recovers in shock, “Starlight, not my sister!”

I pound my chest calming myself before pressing the issue as he looks for his glasses, “Your cousin,”

“No,”

“Oh. So she's your girl,”

“No,”

“So let me get this straight. She's not related to you nor is she your girl. Then why are you getting so angry at the fact that I'm looking at a single mare that you have no relationship with?” I demanded from him as he found his glasses,

“She's my friend,” He says as if that means something to me as he adjusts his glasses,

“Oh sure and that gives you all right to be angry at someone else who has an interest in your friend,”

He glares at me, “You know what I mean,”

“Okay let's stop this charade,” I get up from my seat and start making my way to Sunburst, “It is fairly obvious that we both want the same mare,”

This takes him by surprise as he tries to laugh it off, “What! No. What makes you say that?”

“You are so defensive about her even though you are not in a relationship with her,” I didn’t stop moving forcing Sunburst to start walking away from me, “That means you want a relationship with her even though nothing has happened yet,”

“That is only be-,” He starts before backing into the corner of the kitchen stopping him mid-sentence. He shakes his head clearing his thoughts, “Now it's not the time to talk about such things with her,”

I grunted at him, “Then you have no problems with me asking her on a date tonight,”

“WHAT!”

I turn around and walk away from him, “I mean If you're not going to do anything. Then I'm going to go ahead and take the initiative to ask her out,”

“You can't do that!”

“And why not?” I stop and look at him over my shoulder, “Last I checked you have no say in the matter of who she dates,”

He looks around for an answer, anything to stop me. Not that it would work, “Because you're still serving community service!”

“Only during the daytime,” I walk back to my seat, “Once the sun sets, I'm free. Which gives me enough time to ask her out,”

“But but but- it'll be so late! She wouldn't want to hang out or go on a date then,”

“When do you think ponies go on a date?” I say with a deadpan stare, “When the rooster crows?!”

He moves back to his seat panicking, “She wouldn't go out with you,”

“Why are you so sure? It's not like you have tried,” I waved my hoof at him dismissively,

“It wasn't the right time to do so,”

I sigh heavily at his words, “It's never the right time,” I walk to the kitchen window looking outside watching the clouds move across the sky, “Trust me, after being turned down by many girls in the past and stood up on multiple dates. You can never know when it's the perfect opportunity to ask a girl out. So the best thing you can do is just throw all caution to the wind and just try. I mean what else do you have to lose?” I say remembering past interactions with the females of my world. So many unpleasant memories. I didn’t mean to go that deep into it. It just kind of happens,

He remains silent as he thinks about what I said. After a few moments, his next words filled me with rage, “Then you don't mind if I go ask her first!”

I let out a puff of air from my nostrils as I turned slowly to face my Nemesis, “Are you actually thinking of getting in my way?”

“If it means stopping you from asking Starlight out, then yes!” He puts on a brave front, but it might as well be a puppy yapping at the alpha.

I turned around and jumped towards him making him move back, “Out of the way Colt. You're starting to get on my nerves,”

Normally a character like Sunburst would be scared by my actions of dominance before lowering their head and backing down. But that is not what happened. For some reason, Sunburst held firm and stood his ground, with slightly shaking legs but still standing up for himself, “Starlight's my childhood friend. If anypony deserves to go on a date with her. It's me!”

This was most certainly an unexpected turn of events. Who knew that the nerd had it in him? Too bad I am his opponent and I will not lose again,

“You do realize the only reason you have a backbone against me is because you truly believe I have a chance of actually succeeding where you have never tried,” I smirk at him tauntingly, “Just because you've known her longer doesn't mean she's going to say yes. After all, I may be a new pony around the block, but at least I am not in her friendzone unlike you. And that is all you eve-,” A zap from his horn stops me midsentence as I jump backward to dodge his surprise attack,

I look at the black scorched floor where he missed me before back at him. I am so grateful for Rainbow Dash's harsh training that has increased my reflexes and reaction time. Sunburst on the other hand is still trying to come to terms with what he has done. His face is a mixture of pride and shock as he remains where he stands not noticing as a Sinister grin comes to my face. But once we lock eyes, his ears go back against his head as fear fills his body, and his face drops. I've been waiting a long-long time to have a chance to go after this stallion. Now my time has come, and I will answer the call,

“Oh little colt. You have just goofed up,” I say before charging at him,