The Kessler 37'

by BubbleVT

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Narcotics, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Equestria at War, Dark, Comedy
Length: 1220

The nighttime ad block

A world where the only thing you can have is commodification, find yourself staring at the screen wondering what to buy. A new TV, how about some fried chicken, simply break out that wallet and spend.

Published 2024-07-31 18:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-31 18:40:00 UTC

The Kessler 37'

A Pedestal model Fiillyco television flashes on in a dark studio apartment room. The room was filled with a dim blue coloring revealing the mold and mildew creeping in the corner of the ceiling. An upbeat tune sounds through the speakers, and the television screen turns from a cold blue into a warm yellow. A humble griffon wearing a stripped one piece steps out of a cool sky blue four door sedan parked at the edge of a beach. Seagulls can be heard, matched by ocean waves.

"Hello." He closes the door with a soft smile.

"These days everyone is looking for more." The griffon walks casually around to the trunk of the sedan popping it open smoothly.

He begins pulling objects of varying sizes out of the trunk. First a large bag of food and drinks, then a large beach ball. Suddenly the back doors of the car swing open and two young griffons wearing swimwear jump out and run off laughing after slamming the doors.

The older griffon begins again. "Having to carry around your busy life isn't always easy." He shoulders the trunk closed after pulling out a large parasol.

"But with the new Kessler." He trails off as a slender young female griffon steps out of the passenger side door.

"You can hold it all." He finished. The two griffons embrace then walk toward the sand. The shining sedan comes into focus, revealing its beak nosed hood. A professional voice comes over the speakers.

"With the all new Kessler 37' you can hold it all."

A quick ripping noise comes over the television then a new advertisement flashes on the screen. The screen is white, an organ begins playing , and the scene begins with the camera panning down from a church ceiling. The gold pipes from the organ can be seen with stained glass of the idol of Boreas casting light into the building. Rows of pews filled with griffons of varying sizes face the sanctuary, their heads bowed in silence. At the alter sits a blindingly golden griffon with no discernable features, their head is also bowed but in their claws rests a bucket. A younger griffon stands up and walks slowly toward the godly bird and kneels before them. Suddenly the audio slowly changes from heavenly organ to the sounds of fry oil, and inside the bucket fried chicken sits. The young griffon takes a piece and begins eating it with their head still bowed and smiling. The camera pans over the pews and rows of griffons, they too begin crunching on their fried chicken pieces. A final shot among the cacophony of crunching and fryer oil looks upon the archon of this chicken. A single tear rolls down their face matching the text that appears on the screen. It reads "B.F.C," and the screen quickly rips away.

"War, war never changes." A gruff voice calls out over the T.V. An explosion, followed by a flash of toy army deer posing a running motion through a crater filled mud land. Some of the plastic toys are melted off in spots, others are positioned to be shouting at their fellow deer.

The gruff voice returns, "Through the mist and the fog of war another threat is looming." A large bug can be seen skittering out of the fog.

"Cockroaches." More of the beasts come skittering out of the pale toward the deer.

Tense music resounds throughout the battle field as the bugs swiftly move through the craters. The cockroaches slow down some even stopping, and from the heavens a large can of Shock and Awe bug spray descends to defend the plastic crusaders. The large hoof holding the can aims at the cockroaches rushing the battle lines, another hoof pushes down on the nozzle and a fresh lemon scented mist sprays over the battlefield. The bugs rush through the mist quickly at first, then slower, and finally coming to a halt. One of the roaches flip over on their backside gasping a final breath of air, then more follow until all of the assailants lie still on the battle field. The godly can of Shock and Awe bug spray lifts back into the sky, clearing the fog and revealing the mass of dead bugs.

"War never changes." Deer cheering can be heard from the plastic figurines. The television scratches onto the next one.

A calm voice comes over the T.V.
"Modern life can be stressful." a business griffon is hunched over a desk staring at sheets of paper. The office he sits in is bustling, griffons rushing around holding suitcases. Papers flying in all directions, shouting can be heard from surrounding desks.

"Maybe its time for a break." the business griffon that was sitting at his desk gives a deep sigh then stands up, he walks toward a fire exit signed doorway.

"Sometimes its not easy feeling yourself." Following the stairs upward, the griffon slowly makes his way around the railings shuffling onward. At the top of the staircase is a door that says roof access, he opens the door to a grey daylight, another dreary day. The griffon waddles toward the edge of the roof and he sits down. He breathes another deep sigh of exhaustion, and looks down at the street below.

"Lucky for you there are options." The street below is filled with busy cars and busy griffons flying back and forth. Hard to keep up when you are 30 stories in the air. The somber griffon pulls a small tube out of his coat pocket, the bottle reads "Delta-9". Opening the bottle, he shakes a small red pill onto his claw. He holds the pill up in the air examining it for mold or expiration. With a small smile he pops the pill into his beak and swallows it down. The air is humid and cold, a warm mist could be seen blowing out of the man. The griffon stood up and walked back to the stairwell. An empty bottle of Delta-9 is in focus. The voice comes over the TV for a final time.

"Maybe it's time for a break" the TV switches to the next ad.

"Lucky Star Union made coffee is out of this world!" A loud echoing voice shouts over the speakers followed by the sounds of a laser and a star shaped space ship flying through space. A bag of coffee floats by the screen with the symbol of the company on the bag.

"Lucky Star Union made coffee is made with rich south-equestrian beans, packed with stellar flavor this coffee is sure to get you to say" "fully automated luxury space communism has such a relaxing flavor!" Six bags of coffee arise on screen with different colors labeling the packages.

"With union made coffee you can be assured of its quality and a generous assortment of flavors." The Pedestal TV begins to shake and the screen begins to tear and rip.

"Lucky Star" the speakers begin to scratch and begin to pop apart. Finally the everything stops short of completely falling apart, and the back of the screen catches fire. The room fills with a faint orange glow from the small fire. Fumes billow over a smoke detector, which starts to beep but quickly goes out in a sharp buzz.