Sweet DayDreams is a good princessby Prince Sweet DaydreamsChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 1Sweets stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She didn’t not like, nor recognize the mare staring back. No matter how much she tried, it felt wrong, somehow even painful. Like a stab to her heart. She just felt wrong in general. Never the less she plastered on a fake smile and left the room. Closing the door behind her gently with a clawed foreleg. She didn’t have time to examine the feeling of wrongness. The ball was going well, yet DayDream could not focus. All four of her ears flicked towards every sound. Yet she kept her fake smile up, no matter how much she was screaming internally. It felt like every eye was on her and she couldn’t help but squirm. Her dress felt too tight but somehow also too loose. Desperately she now wished she hadn’t lied to her mother about liking it. Her mother said it flattered her shape but it felt wrong. Sweets felt much too aware of her body now and it made her itch. However her mental anguish was interrupted by her mother. The mare a laid gentle hoof on her daughter’s shoulder and leaned down. “Is something wrong my child?” Sweets shook her head and stretched her smile wider. “No, no, of course not!” A response so robotic that Sweets felt like it came from somepony else. “I am fine.” She felt like she was under water. Celestia looked unconvinced but the young dragon pony knew her mother had other responsibilities. She gently pushed her hoof off and waved dismissively. “I am alright mother, I promise.” Celestia was still concerned, her hoof hovered in air for a bit before she finally set it back on the ground. She sighed and smiled but there some other emotion in her eyes. “You know you can tell me anything my child. I will not judge you.” Sweets felt pinned to the spot but nodded anyways. Celestia looked around the room before turning back to her. She looked like she had something else to say but she never got the chance as a noble approached, bowed quickly, and requested an audience with her. Sweets took the opportunity to walk away. Heading towards the exit, levitating a small chalice of wine with her on the way out. Author's Note I’m still working on my writing skills and this definitely isn’t going to be my favorite chapter by far. Chapter 2The cold night air of the garden and soft buzz of wine felt refreshing. The quiet made her mind quiet down, just a little. She held up her glass in her claws and took another small sip. Doing so her eyes couldn’t help but look away from the enchanting night sky, and at her reflection in the pristine metallic surface. The dragon pony mare in the silver cup looked tired. So tired. A deep frown frozen upon her face. No fake smile. She glared at the reflection and watched as it copied her. She tore her eyes away and drank the rest of the bittersweet concoction it held. The young princess’s eyes meet the starry sky again and she held her glaze there. Magic was real but she knew the wishes in her heart would not be granted. Especially not by the stars. DayDreams wished to be normal. A mare who takes handsome stallions to bed. A mare who giggles. A mare who is beautiful, pretty, and delicate. A mare who can be called a mare and it not be feel….wrong. A mare who is normal. A princess who her mother can be proud of. A princess the nation of Equestria can be proud of. Yet deep down she was glad these wishes would never come to pass. Down in the grass she set the damned glass and got up. She brushed herself off, fixed her face, forcing a smile once more, and levitating the empty chalice to her side. She would be a good princess even if felt like swallowing glass. Author's Note Body and gender dysphoria sucks. Chapter 3In the throne room Princess Sweet DayDreams and Princess Celestia listened to the needs of their citizens. Princess Celestia sat tall and proud while her daughter slouched. DayDream hated having so many eyes on her. No matter how many times they held these meetings she never got used to it. Still she forced that stupid smile. Trying to appear unbothered. Her mother dealt with most of this but Sweets still had to be here. It was apart of being a good princess. She knew as soon this was over she would go back to her room and take off her stupid crown, and other vestments, and just scream into her pillow until she felt right again. She shook her head a little as she realized she had drifted slightly into her mind. Of course she is only here to watch and listen, yet still it would be very rude to not pay attention. The young princess sit up a little further in her throne. It seemed her mother’s audience with the humble earth pony farmer had ended. They happily thanked them both, and bowed several times before moved back and letting the next citizen walk forward. She was listening now, all four ears perked. Luckily this was the last. The unicorn quickly bowed then began explaining their problem. Quietly DayDreams closed her door, lighting up her room using a simple light spell with her three horns. The silence was immediately comforting and when as she sighed, it felt as if the room sighed with her. Sluggishly she dragged herself to her bed. She plopped down and closed her eyes. Not sleeping just resting. Big deep slow calming breaths, the mind drifting but the body staying. It had been a long day, a hard day. Slowly extinguishing her light spell, she then sat with the darkness. When she was far younger she had been scared of the dark, however, she now found it immensely comforting. No matter how corny it sounded, the darkness felt like home. She took a few more deep breaths before she opened her eyes. Quickly her vision adjusted, one small benefit of being half dragon. She rolled on to her back and stared at the ceiling. She had no problem with being half dragon but yet she did feel a little annoyed about how quickly her eyes pierced the dark. She would have like to drown in it just a little while longer. She again sighed and rolled back again into her stomach. She felt restless. Something weighted down in her mind and mattered how much she pushed it away it wouldn’t leave. She closed her eyes tightly and let her mind drift from her body. Her feelings did not matter. She would be the best princess she could be. For mother, for Equestria, for all the ponies that she ruled over. Even if it felt like she was hallowing herself out. Author's Note I like some of this chapter but it could be better. :/ Chapter 4He soared far above the ground. His wings far larger than they had ever been, cutting through the clouds like butter. He flew as fast as lightning with ease. A stallion of the sky. He was free. The cool breeze refreshed him, and he gently slowed himself down to a soft flutter. The patch of sky in front of him then began to darken with dense thunder clouds. His heart roared with excitement and he smiled wildly. Speeding himself back up he flew forward with reckless abandon. As he flew into the storm the lightning nipped at his heels and he cackled in delight. He ripped through the clouds effortlessly, victoriously appearing on the other side. He did not look behind, only imagining the destruction left in his wake instead. He raced across the sky, no thought to where he was going. Sweets was ripped out of her trance by a knock on her door. Quickly she slammed her book closed and put it in her desk drawer, along with her favorite writing quill. “Come in,” she yelled. The door opened and her mother quietly stepped inside, ducking her head under the doorway. “Hello my child. You have been in your room for quite some time now, I thought I should check in on you…” DayDream tapped a claw on her desk, suddenly self conscious. “…Oh..” “Would you like to have some tea in the garden with me?” Sweets nodded and promptly got up from her desk. “Certainly.” She replied. Celestia carefully backed out of the doorway and the young princess followed her mother, closing the door with her tail behind her. Princess Sweet DayDreams laid in the garden on her stomach. She absentmindedly sipped her tea. Her mother had hardly said anything but the silence was not uncomfortable nor uncommon between the both of them. They understood each other in that way. The sky looked beautiful. Not too bright and not too cloudy. It was practically picturesque and she a sneaking suspicion that her mother had done that on purpose. Without even having to say anything, Celestia leaned forward and carefully refilled her daughter’s tea cup. Sweets smiled and nodded gratefully. Celestia smiled back. Celestia didn’t look at daughter when she finally chose to be the one that breaks the silence, rather she stared at the sky with a serene look on her face. “Do you remember when you were younger, my dear one? When the world was new to you and you were discovering everything.” Sweets felt her chest tight a little but she nodded. “That was a long time ago…” Celestia laughed softly and turned her head to face her, a wide smile on her face. “For me it was but a moment ago. You are still very young.” Sweets rolled her eyes, “for an alicorn maybe.” Celestia sighed. “And yet…” Slowly her eyes trailed back up to the sky. DayDream laid her head on her mother’s back. “I know.” Author's Note I like this chapter the most. :) Chapter 5DayDreams stared at her reflection. Something about it was wrong. Somehow it didn’t look like her. The overwhelming feeling of wrongness was back and felt like it was crushing her, inside to out. She pressed one claw against the fragile glass pane and dragged it across. A long shallow crack was created, and quickly, she withdrew her hand. ‘No.’ She concluded. Nothing is wrong with the mirror or my reflection.’ Her mind sank with this revelation. She exhaled a long breath, fogging up the mirror. Then she turned away. She no longer wanted be seen today, and as soon she left the bathroom, she went straight to her room. Immediately she buried herself in her blankets, and bed sheets. Here, she decided, was where she would stay for the rest of the day. Eventually guards came knocking on her door. They kept knocking for awhile before they gave up and let themselves in. Sweets sent them away with an excuse of feeling ‘under the weather.’ They didn’t question, leaving quickly, and quietly. Then she was alone again in her dark room. At some point later on, her mother came to check on her too. She pretended to be asleep. Still Celestia lingered for a bit, standing by her bedside, one hoof placed softly on her daughter’s back. When Celestia finally did leave she left quietly too, closing the door behind her. Then Sweets was alone once again with the darkness, and her suffocating thoughts. Princess Daydreams never felt connected to her body or marehood. She knew was a mare because that what everyone said she was and had no reason to question. For her being a mare was like her being a princess, a simple fact of life. She never questioned it, and she thought every mare felt this way. When she reached fillyhood the disconnection became painful. Her body feeling more like cage than hers. Now in her full marehood, the disconnect was a hungry beast. It woke from it’s a fitful slumber, frequently in a frenzy, to feast on the insecurities of her mind. She could only watch in helpless terror as it descended upon her and destroyed her from within. Days like this, all she wanted to do was hide. All she could do was hide. She felt guilt and shame but borrowed deeper mentally, and physically. She couldn’t function right now. She needed to be alone, even though it wasn’t right. Tomorrow would be a better day. Tomorrow she would be responsible, not today. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her again. Author's Note I really this chapter a lot except for the start a little bit but my writing is certainly improving. :) Chapter 6Princess Sweet DayDreams was, suddenly, awake. She blinked, groaned, and rolled onto her back. She could tell immediately there was no way she was going to get back to sleep. She rolled onto her stomach again, and sat up, rubbing one eye with one hand, and yawning. Her mind still clouded over with feelings that she didn’t (or wasn’t willing to) understand. But still heavy with sleep she could push those feelings aside and at least attempt to exist in her body. Hopping off her bed, she made her way to her window. Pulling open the curtains, she wasn’t surprised to see it was still night. It wasn’t tomorrow yet. She took a deep breath and walked to her door. This wasn’t the first time she had woken up in the middle of the night. In fact, the young princess was beginning to wonder if this was becoming a routine. She walked through the long hallways of the now silent castle. Her hoof steps, and claw taps, felt incredibly loud. The only ponies around were the night guards who stood at attention and didn’t make a sound. She nodded at them as she passed. She didn’t know where she was going but that didn’t matter right now. She just wanted to walk, so she did. She wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings, letting the walls of the castle blend together in her mind, and vision. If she focused she could easily find almost any room in this castle. She didn’t though. Her mind felt separate from her body. She walked through, aimlessly. Then abruptly she stopped. Her breath caught in her throat. Somehow here she was. Maybe part of her was drawn to it, like the pull of some unnatural force. She turned towards it and stared, vision suddenly so clear. She stared at the closed door for a long time. A door that hadn’t been opened for quite some time. A door she hadn’t thought about in a long time. Her aunt Luna’s room. It was locked, magically of course, but Sweets was an alicorn. She could unlock it. She could, in fact, very easily do so. Her horns glowed dimly. Celestia never really talked about her sister. When ever DayDreams asked about her an uncomfortable silence filled the room. She knew about her aunt’s corruption, her banishment to the moon, and mother’s subsequent heartbreak, because of it. But not much more. When she was a child she had been curious. She asked so more questions and her mother answered very little of them. After experiencing loss for herself, she knew that pain quite well. Even though Luna didn’t die, Sweet DayDreams knew that to Celestia, it felt like death. She reared up onto her hindlegs, and pressed a clawed foreleg to the cold wooden door that hid a cold empty space behind itself. She pressed her face against the old wood, listening to the silence. She wondered now, if the princess of the night, would understand her better. She shuddered, the light from her horns flickered before going out, like a puff of smoke. She pulled away, got back on all fours, and walked slowly back to her room. Author's Note This took a while to get done mostly because I felt it needed more work and I got some sad news in my personal life. It’s not bad but it still sucks. :( For what it’s worth I do think this chapter turned out well.
Chapter 1Sweets stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She didn’t not like, nor recognize the mare staring back. No matter how much she tried, it felt wrong, somehow even painful. Like a stab to her heart. She just felt wrong in general. Never the less she plastered on a fake smile and left the room. Closing the door behind her gently with a clawed foreleg. She didn’t have time to examine the feeling of wrongness. The ball was going well, yet DayDream could not focus. All four of her ears flicked towards every sound. Yet she kept her fake smile up, no matter how much she was screaming internally. It felt like every eye was on her and she couldn’t help but squirm. Her dress felt too tight but somehow also too loose. Desperately she now wished she hadn’t lied to her mother about liking it. Her mother said it flattered her shape but it felt wrong. Sweets felt much too aware of her body now and it made her itch. However her mental anguish was interrupted by her mother. The mare a laid gentle hoof on her daughter’s shoulder and leaned down. “Is something wrong my child?” Sweets shook her head and stretched her smile wider. “No, no, of course not!” A response so robotic that Sweets felt like it came from somepony else. “I am fine.” She felt like she was under water. Celestia looked unconvinced but the young dragon pony knew her mother had other responsibilities. She gently pushed her hoof off and waved dismissively. “I am alright mother, I promise.” Celestia was still concerned, her hoof hovered in air for a bit before she finally set it back on the ground. She sighed and smiled but there some other emotion in her eyes. “You know you can tell me anything my child. I will not judge you.” Sweets felt pinned to the spot but nodded anyways. Celestia looked around the room before turning back to her. She looked like she had something else to say but she never got the chance as a noble approached, bowed quickly, and requested an audience with her. Sweets took the opportunity to walk away. Heading towards the exit, levitating a small chalice of wine with her on the way out. Author's Note I’m still working on my writing skills and this definitely isn’t going to be my favorite chapter by far.
Chapter 2The cold night air of the garden and soft buzz of wine felt refreshing. The quiet made her mind quiet down, just a little. She held up her glass in her claws and took another small sip. Doing so her eyes couldn’t help but look away from the enchanting night sky, and at her reflection in the pristine metallic surface. The dragon pony mare in the silver cup looked tired. So tired. A deep frown frozen upon her face. No fake smile. She glared at the reflection and watched as it copied her. She tore her eyes away and drank the rest of the bittersweet concoction it held. The young princess’s eyes meet the starry sky again and she held her glaze there. Magic was real but she knew the wishes in her heart would not be granted. Especially not by the stars. DayDreams wished to be normal. A mare who takes handsome stallions to bed. A mare who giggles. A mare who is beautiful, pretty, and delicate. A mare who can be called a mare and it not be feel….wrong. A mare who is normal. A princess who her mother can be proud of. A princess the nation of Equestria can be proud of. Yet deep down she was glad these wishes would never come to pass. Down in the grass she set the damned glass and got up. She brushed herself off, fixed her face, forcing a smile once more, and levitating the empty chalice to her side. She would be a good princess even if felt like swallowing glass. Author's Note Body and gender dysphoria sucks.
Chapter 3In the throne room Princess Sweet DayDreams and Princess Celestia listened to the needs of their citizens. Princess Celestia sat tall and proud while her daughter slouched. DayDream hated having so many eyes on her. No matter how many times they held these meetings she never got used to it. Still she forced that stupid smile. Trying to appear unbothered. Her mother dealt with most of this but Sweets still had to be here. It was apart of being a good princess. She knew as soon this was over she would go back to her room and take off her stupid crown, and other vestments, and just scream into her pillow until she felt right again. She shook her head a little as she realized she had drifted slightly into her mind. Of course she is only here to watch and listen, yet still it would be very rude to not pay attention. The young princess sit up a little further in her throne. It seemed her mother’s audience with the humble earth pony farmer had ended. They happily thanked them both, and bowed several times before moved back and letting the next citizen walk forward. She was listening now, all four ears perked. Luckily this was the last. The unicorn quickly bowed then began explaining their problem. Quietly DayDreams closed her door, lighting up her room using a simple light spell with her three horns. The silence was immediately comforting and when as she sighed, it felt as if the room sighed with her. Sluggishly she dragged herself to her bed. She plopped down and closed her eyes. Not sleeping just resting. Big deep slow calming breaths, the mind drifting but the body staying. It had been a long day, a hard day. Slowly extinguishing her light spell, she then sat with the darkness. When she was far younger she had been scared of the dark, however, she now found it immensely comforting. No matter how corny it sounded, the darkness felt like home. She took a few more deep breaths before she opened her eyes. Quickly her vision adjusted, one small benefit of being half dragon. She rolled on to her back and stared at the ceiling. She had no problem with being half dragon but yet she did feel a little annoyed about how quickly her eyes pierced the dark. She would have like to drown in it just a little while longer. She again sighed and rolled back again into her stomach. She felt restless. Something weighted down in her mind and mattered how much she pushed it away it wouldn’t leave. She closed her eyes tightly and let her mind drift from her body. Her feelings did not matter. She would be the best princess she could be. For mother, for Equestria, for all the ponies that she ruled over. Even if it felt like she was hallowing herself out. Author's Note I like some of this chapter but it could be better. :/
Chapter 4He soared far above the ground. His wings far larger than they had ever been, cutting through the clouds like butter. He flew as fast as lightning with ease. A stallion of the sky. He was free. The cool breeze refreshed him, and he gently slowed himself down to a soft flutter. The patch of sky in front of him then began to darken with dense thunder clouds. His heart roared with excitement and he smiled wildly. Speeding himself back up he flew forward with reckless abandon. As he flew into the storm the lightning nipped at his heels and he cackled in delight. He ripped through the clouds effortlessly, victoriously appearing on the other side. He did not look behind, only imagining the destruction left in his wake instead. He raced across the sky, no thought to where he was going. Sweets was ripped out of her trance by a knock on her door. Quickly she slammed her book closed and put it in her desk drawer, along with her favorite writing quill. “Come in,” she yelled. The door opened and her mother quietly stepped inside, ducking her head under the doorway. “Hello my child. You have been in your room for quite some time now, I thought I should check in on you…” DayDream tapped a claw on her desk, suddenly self conscious. “…Oh..” “Would you like to have some tea in the garden with me?” Sweets nodded and promptly got up from her desk. “Certainly.” She replied. Celestia carefully backed out of the doorway and the young princess followed her mother, closing the door with her tail behind her. Princess Sweet DayDreams laid in the garden on her stomach. She absentmindedly sipped her tea. Her mother had hardly said anything but the silence was not uncomfortable nor uncommon between the both of them. They understood each other in that way. The sky looked beautiful. Not too bright and not too cloudy. It was practically picturesque and she a sneaking suspicion that her mother had done that on purpose. Without even having to say anything, Celestia leaned forward and carefully refilled her daughter’s tea cup. Sweets smiled and nodded gratefully. Celestia smiled back. Celestia didn’t look at daughter when she finally chose to be the one that breaks the silence, rather she stared at the sky with a serene look on her face. “Do you remember when you were younger, my dear one? When the world was new to you and you were discovering everything.” Sweets felt her chest tight a little but she nodded. “That was a long time ago…” Celestia laughed softly and turned her head to face her, a wide smile on her face. “For me it was but a moment ago. You are still very young.” Sweets rolled her eyes, “for an alicorn maybe.” Celestia sighed. “And yet…” Slowly her eyes trailed back up to the sky. DayDream laid her head on her mother’s back. “I know.” Author's Note I like this chapter the most. :)
Chapter 5DayDreams stared at her reflection. Something about it was wrong. Somehow it didn’t look like her. The overwhelming feeling of wrongness was back and felt like it was crushing her, inside to out. She pressed one claw against the fragile glass pane and dragged it across. A long shallow crack was created, and quickly, she withdrew her hand. ‘No.’ She concluded. Nothing is wrong with the mirror or my reflection.’ Her mind sank with this revelation. She exhaled a long breath, fogging up the mirror. Then she turned away. She no longer wanted be seen today, and as soon she left the bathroom, she went straight to her room. Immediately she buried herself in her blankets, and bed sheets. Here, she decided, was where she would stay for the rest of the day. Eventually guards came knocking on her door. They kept knocking for awhile before they gave up and let themselves in. Sweets sent them away with an excuse of feeling ‘under the weather.’ They didn’t question, leaving quickly, and quietly. Then she was alone again in her dark room. At some point later on, her mother came to check on her too. She pretended to be asleep. Still Celestia lingered for a bit, standing by her bedside, one hoof placed softly on her daughter’s back. When Celestia finally did leave she left quietly too, closing the door behind her. Then Sweets was alone once again with the darkness, and her suffocating thoughts. Princess Daydreams never felt connected to her body or marehood. She knew was a mare because that what everyone said she was and had no reason to question. For her being a mare was like her being a princess, a simple fact of life. She never questioned it, and she thought every mare felt this way. When she reached fillyhood the disconnection became painful. Her body feeling more like cage than hers. Now in her full marehood, the disconnect was a hungry beast. It woke from it’s a fitful slumber, frequently in a frenzy, to feast on the insecurities of her mind. She could only watch in helpless terror as it descended upon her and destroyed her from within. Days like this, all she wanted to do was hide. All she could do was hide. She felt guilt and shame but borrowed deeper mentally, and physically. She couldn’t function right now. She needed to be alone, even though it wasn’t right. Tomorrow would be a better day. Tomorrow she would be responsible, not today. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her again. Author's Note I really this chapter a lot except for the start a little bit but my writing is certainly improving. :)
Chapter 6Princess Sweet DayDreams was, suddenly, awake. She blinked, groaned, and rolled onto her back. She could tell immediately there was no way she was going to get back to sleep. She rolled onto her stomach again, and sat up, rubbing one eye with one hand, and yawning. Her mind still clouded over with feelings that she didn’t (or wasn’t willing to) understand. But still heavy with sleep she could push those feelings aside and at least attempt to exist in her body. Hopping off her bed, she made her way to her window. Pulling open the curtains, she wasn’t surprised to see it was still night. It wasn’t tomorrow yet. She took a deep breath and walked to her door. This wasn’t the first time she had woken up in the middle of the night. In fact, the young princess was beginning to wonder if this was becoming a routine. She walked through the long hallways of the now silent castle. Her hoof steps, and claw taps, felt incredibly loud. The only ponies around were the night guards who stood at attention and didn’t make a sound. She nodded at them as she passed. She didn’t know where she was going but that didn’t matter right now. She just wanted to walk, so she did. She wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings, letting the walls of the castle blend together in her mind, and vision. If she focused she could easily find almost any room in this castle. She didn’t though. Her mind felt separate from her body. She walked through, aimlessly. Then abruptly she stopped. Her breath caught in her throat. Somehow here she was. Maybe part of her was drawn to it, like the pull of some unnatural force. She turned towards it and stared, vision suddenly so clear. She stared at the closed door for a long time. A door that hadn’t been opened for quite some time. A door she hadn’t thought about in a long time. Her aunt Luna’s room. It was locked, magically of course, but Sweets was an alicorn. She could unlock it. She could, in fact, very easily do so. Her horns glowed dimly. Celestia never really talked about her sister. When ever DayDreams asked about her an uncomfortable silence filled the room. She knew about her aunt’s corruption, her banishment to the moon, and mother’s subsequent heartbreak, because of it. But not much more. When she was a child she had been curious. She asked so more questions and her mother answered very little of them. After experiencing loss for herself, she knew that pain quite well. Even though Luna didn’t die, Sweet DayDreams knew that to Celestia, it felt like death. She reared up onto her hindlegs, and pressed a clawed foreleg to the cold wooden door that hid a cold empty space behind itself. She pressed her face against the old wood, listening to the silence. She wondered now, if the princess of the night, would understand her better. She shuddered, the light from her horns flickered before going out, like a puff of smoke. She pulled away, got back on all fours, and walked slowly back to her room. Author's Note This took a while to get done mostly because I felt it needed more work and I got some sad news in my personal life. It’s not bad but it still sucks. :( For what it’s worth I do think this chapter turned out well.
