As you open my eyes, you see the world anew
You open your eyes, waking up.
Your mind slowly starts to function as you stare silently at the ceiling above you. You make an effort to concentrate on focusing your eyes on the white-blue clouds that make up the room you are in.
You look at your hooves, resting on a blanket that surrounds a body you guess belongs to you. You try to lift your foreleg, the limb obediently moving closer to you and turning around so you can take a better look.
That’s definitely your leg. It belongs to you. You can move it. But you can’t feel a single thing coming from it. As if your body was manipulated by string like a puppet.
Why? Why can’t you feel a single thing? Neither the warmth of the bed, nor the softness of the pillow below your head.
With difficulty you turn your head towards the alien room you are in. Your eyes seem unable to gather any information, the moment you look away you forget what you have been looking at in the first place.
You decided to take it slow. Somehow this idea stirs something inside you. Why are you taking it slow? And why do you feel anger?
You look towards the nightstand. It’s the easiest thing to focus on in this room, which makes it great practice. It’s plain. A simple cumulus cloud condensed and shaped into a tower of drawers on which stands a small picture frame showing the wedding of two unfamiliar mares.
Both are a shade of blue, one cyan and the other almost turquoise. You see a note plastered on the frame. You are unable to focus well enough to read it, but for some reason you managed to read the words, “Rainbow Dash”
You immediately felt warmth the moment you read them. They definitely once meant something to you.
You look at the wall opposite to you, your eyes still moving as if through molasses.
You see a poster of the cyan mare. This time she is shown in a uniform of some kind you feel you should know about. There are multiple of them plastered all over the wall, surrounding the door leading outside. Or at least you think this door leads outside, it might also be a closet.
The wall on the left from the door has a shelf full of trophies. All of them are different from each other and all are golden. Your head hurts trying to look at the statues decorated on them, unable to take this much information all at once.
Tired, you look at the ceiling again. You don’t understand anything you see, the details are already trying to escape your mind from the moment you stopped looking.
You feel lightheaded. The present feels like recalling a distant past, murky and blurred from all detail. The fog in your mind dulling every single other sense you have. Where are you?
Suddenly the door at the other side of the room opens, revealing the cyan mare you saw in the picture and posters.
“I see you are awake,” she says smiling. “I hope you slept well. I finally found some time to talk with you.”
You look at her, your instincts are telling you to ask the mare for her name. However, you seem to have lost control of your mouth as well, unable to tell if it’s open or not.
So instead you garner all of your strength to focus on the mare, finally noticing her beautiful rainbow-colored mane.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner. I’m looking after Cloudgust’s foals, they are 5 years old now, you know? Lightning Mane wishes to join the Wonderbolts just like we did back then, while Zipcloud takes her love for scooters after Scootaloo.”
She brushed your mane with care and love, while you decided to focus on her purple eyes.
“Scootaloo’s son finally got married, you know? Took him long enough if you ask me. But his partner is a wonderful mare, she reminds me of you, actually.”
She sighs. You notice that you have an easier time keeping focus. You realize that the cyan mare is actually a pegasus and is much older than back when the picture on the nightstand was taken.
“I miss flying with you. The times we spend in the air racing or practicing with the rest of the Wonderbolts. Soarin has been writing to us, you know? He knows what you are going through… What we all are going through.”
You see tears forming in the mare's eyes. For some reason this makes you feel awful. Frustration arises within you. You hate your inability to understand the situation or to cheer up the mare in front of you.
You slowly move your leg to pet the mare’s cheek. You may not remember, but you can tell this pony cares a lot about you. You look deep into her eyes, trying to smile at her regardless of your inability to tell if you even moved your mouth.
The mare smiles at you through her tears.
“I wish you could see them… Lightning Mane and Zipcloud are awesome, and I mean super awesome. However Cloudgust and I are afraid of how they will react. Even I have trouble seeing you in this state and poor Cloudgust is afraid of seeing you like this. After sixty years I’m… I’m scared. I thought we would die together in a shared bed, reminiscing about old times together before finally dreaming our last dream.”
She looks at the trophies on the shelf, her smile tainted by pain.
“All of our achievements. All of our perils. All of our dates, flying through the cities of Equestria. Oh, how much I would give to relive them with you…”
She pats you on your head lovingly, but you are still unable to feel her touch. Why? Why do you have to witness the tears of the mare you know once meant the whole world to you?
“Even alicorn magic is unable to heal you. Twilight has tried everything she could, but all it did was to preserve your sanity. I’ve seen how many others end up like this and I’m happy you won’t have to bear it.”
You don’t understand anything she said. What illness? What others? Who is “Twilight”? Why do you have to witness her cries?
“Tell me,” she asks, her voice barely audible. “Do you still remember my name?”
You channel all of your energy to force a smile on your face. You try to move your tongue to formulate your first words since you woke up.
“O-of… course… why w-would I e-ever… forget… you… Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash smiles with sadness. She knows you are lying. Possibly because this wasn’t the way you have been calling her for a long time. Or maybe this wasn’t the first time she asked you this question.
Whatever the reason, she just looked at you with tear-filled eyes. You both just sit here, minutes go by while you two are looking at each other. Was this purgatory for you? Are you being punished for something you did?
A sound coming from outside makes you both jerk in surprise.
“Ah, I’m too old for this… I will see you again dear, I’ll bring you your favorite meal next time. But now the little ones need my help.”
Rainbow Dash walks out of the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.
Yet before she closes the door she shoots you a painful, yet loving smile.
You couldn’t have told her the truth. You had to tell her you remembered, even though you know it’s not true.
You look at the picture on the nightstand. The note is still plastered on the frame with the only thing readable to you being the name of the mare that cares for you.
You are afraid… You are afraid that when you close your eyes for long enough, reality will cease to exist and you will forget.
Your mind may have forgotten, but your heart still remembers. But happens when it too starts to forget? You are scared of the answer.
You know that the more you forget, the more pain you will bring to those who care about you.
But the mare Rainbow Dash loves is already gone. Replaced by a different pony that does not even know her.
You are not “me”.
Your name is not Lighting Dust…
Not anymore.
.
.
Author's Note
This story was written to make the most out of the Second person POV while also using traditional narration style.
I realized that the most problematic part of this idea was immersion. How do you write a story in second person when the reader is not an active character, Anon style?
I decided to make a story where the whole point is that you are NOT the character in this story. You are but the conscience that is left after the memories faded away.
You are not the person everyone else remembers.
This is also a very personal story. Since I had a family member meet this exact fate.
You can think of it as tribute to them.
thank you for reading