Apple Bloom raced home to Sweet Apple Acres as fast as her hooves could carry her! She had the most exciting news in the history of forever that she couldn't wait to share with her whole family, most especially Applejack!

The journey home seemed to take longer than it usually did for the farm filly. Yet at last, the familiar outline of the family barn came into view, as did as the farmhouse attached to it. She raced right to the door and immediately tried to open it, only to find to her dismay that it wasn't. Instead of being patient, she opted to furiously pound on the door over and over again!

The frantic knocking was soon answered, as Applejack opened the door and let Apple Bloom inside. "What's got you so wound up all of a sudden, Apple Bloom?" She asked her little sister.

Apple Bloom tried to speak, but had to pause for a moment to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. Once she had done so, she started to explain. "Well, you know about that assignment Miss. Cheerilee gave my class? The one about doin' a report on somepony in your family tree?"

"Yeah, I remember, you told me about that yesterday," Applejack replied. "And you said you couldn't think of anypony to do it on that you hadn't already done countless times before. Still not seein' what that has to do with... whatever it is you're so excited about."

Apple Bloom went on explaining. "Well, I did try to check out the archives at town hall. But Mayor Mare said she gave all the scrolls to Twilight for reorganizing, so I went to see Twilight instead. And she helped me look at the whole Apple family tree, goin' all the way back to before Granny Smith settled in Ponyville with her family. And that's when I found it!"

Applejack scrunched up her face a bit in confusion. "Found what exactly, sugarcube? Come on, spit it out!"

"Alright, alright," Apple Bloom nodded as she paused for but a moment to build up the dramatic tension. "We're related to Pinkie Pie's family. In fact, Pinkie Pie's one of our cousins. Our fourth cousin twice removed" She proceeded to pull out a scroll. "And I've got the scroll that proves it! So be honest, sis. Is this the most amazin', mind blowin' thing you've ever seen or what? I had no idea our family history was so rich and interestin'. Who knew genealogy could be so excitin'?"

Yet the stetson wearing earth pony's response was not at all what Apple Bloom had been expecting. She'd expected her big sister to be utterly astounded with the news and in a state of shock. That was not what was happening. Instead, Applejack was acting as if the news as mundane and everyday as the rising of the sun. "Oh, is that all?" She replied in a tone of voice that sounded not the least bit shocked or surprised. "I already knew that, Apple Bloom."

The farm filly's mouth dropped open in shock and disbelief! "You did?!" She quickly received a confirming nod and groaned. "And let me guess, everypony else in the family knows that too," She got another confirming nod, and began to clutch the scroll as she seethed in anger, kicking a hoof! "Well gosh darn it! Why didn't anypony tell me sooner?! Here I was, all excited that I'd just made the most amazin' discovery ever, and it turns out it's not really a discovery at all!"

Applejack, sensing how upset her little sister was at having her "big news" be spoiled, raised a hoof and tried to calm her down. "Sorry you had to find out that way, sugarcube. I meant to tell you all about it sooner but... well..." She started to trail off in uncertainty.

"But what, Applejack?" Apple Bloom questioned, suddenly intrigued by the hesitancy. "What's the reason why I wasn't told about Pinkie Pie bein' our fourth cousin twice removed?"

The freckled earth pony mare sighed. "You really wanna know, huh? It's... not exactly our family's finest moment." And already, she was thinking back to that day long ago when she'd learned what Apple Bloom had just found out for herself. Suffice it to say, the revelation that Pinkie Pie was a distant cousin of the Apple family was one that had touched off quite the unexpected journey. Not only for the Apples, but for Pinkie Pie as well.

"Well, I'm all ears, Applejack." Apple Bloom said after waiting only a moment or so for her big sister to gather her thoughts.

"Okay, okay," Applejack relented without hesitation. "Just... promise me you won't go tellin' the story to anypony who doesn't already know. Like I said, it wasn't exactly our family's finest moment. It's probably up there with the whole 'Applebuck Season' incident as somethin' I'll regret for the rest of my life. Pinkie Pie probably doesn't see it that way, but it seems like almost nothin' can break that spirit of hers. Sometimes, I kind of wish I had that sort of spirit, like I did when I was about your age," She then cleared her throat. "But anyways," She began flashing back to the day she had learned of her connection to Pinkie. "It all started years ago. In fact, I reckon it was just after you were born. Ma and Pa had just brought you back from the hospital a few days ago."

And indeed, that is how the farm mare remembered it. She was just a filly back then, and had only gotten her cutie mark about a year prior to that fateful day. She hadn't given much thought to any cousins of her or distant family. She wasn't unaware of them, and hadn't completely hated her time with the Oranges. But for the time being she was content with her immediate family as it was: Her big brother Big Macintosh, her grandmother Granny Smith (who was fairly young by grandmother standards), her mother and father, and of course her newborn baby sister Apple Bloom.

On that day in question when the freckled filly had learned of her connection to a new friends of hers, she was woken up shortly after sunrise. Not by the crow of the rooster, but by the sound of very energetic knocking on the front door of her family's farm house. So the filly got out of bed and quickly trotted downstairs, little suspecting that she was about to receive news that was going to blow her mind.

Upon opening the door, Applejack's sap green eyes were surprised to be greeted by the pronounced presence of none other than Ponyville's premiere pink party pony Pinkie Pie. The filly with a poofy, curly mane and tail and with eyes a beautiful blue had the biggest, widest, most cheerful smile you had ever seen, all the while she stood outside the door. "Heya, cousin!" She announced with great fanfare, immediately throwing her hooves around her fellow earth pony.

To say that Applejack was shocked and surprised by the news would be an understatement. "What... but... why... I mean... how... I mean..." She stuttered, trying to process this sudden announcement.

Pinkie, for her part, just grinned and giggled. "I know, I know, it's not every day that you get visited one of your cousins. Well, okay, fourth cousin twice removed, but a cousin is still a cousin. Am I right or am I right?" She even playfully swished her tail. "Ooh, isn't this great, Applejack?! We're not just friends, we're family!"

The freckled filly gasped and took a step back, her eyes blinking rapidly. "Family?"

The pink party pony nodded. "Yes indeedy! As soon as I found out, I just knew I had to come and see you!" She then asked. "Mind if I come inside? I wanna meet the rest of my cousins and tell them the news too. I bet they'll all be as shocked as you are!"

"W-well, you can come inside if you want," Applejack reluctantly agreed. "But first... you mind tellin' me just how in the hay you figured out that we're uh... fourth cousins twice removed was it?"

Pinkie Pie nodded again as she trotted inside the farm house proper. "Oh, I was just thinking about stuff the other day. Then I started thinking about Granny Pie's stories. And it made me realize something. She was always talking about how members of her family used to live in Ponyville once upon a time, before they all moved away to work on their own rock farms and settle down. Apparently, my parents were among the first Pies to have lived their entire lives on rock farms. My dad inherited the rock farm from his father, and his father inherited it from his father, and so on and so on."

Applejack commented. "I... see."

Pinkie then explained. "And that's when it hit me! Your family was one of the first families to settle in Ponyville, all the way back when Granny Smith was our age. So that meant at some point the Pies and the Apples must've been connected, which would make us related," She started to bounce up, down, and all around! "Ooh! Thinking about it makes me all tingly inside! So, Cousin Applejack, where are the others? When can I meet them?"

It was at that very moment that Granny Smith came grumiply trotting into the room, remarking in a stern tone of voice. "Consarn it, what's with all the noise?! You're gonna wake up the youngin'!"

"Sorry, Granny," Applejack sincerely apologized as she gestured a hoof. "But Pinkie Pie says she's related to us, that she's our fourth cousin twice removed."

The pink party pony proclaimed! "What Applejack said! And that means you're technically my great, great, great..." She trailed off. "Well, I don't know how great, but you're definitely one of my long lost grandmothers. Although you weren't really lost, I just didn't know I was related to you yet."

Granny Smith's eyes blinked slowly. "What in the name of all things oats and apples?! That don't even begin to make a lick of sense!" She trotted over to Pinkie Pie, commenting. "I know you just came to Ponyville not that long ago, but I also know you weren't born here. There's no way you just magically found a connection between us. We Apples know all our kin, I'd know if we were related to somepony like you."

Pinkie protested. "I'm not making this up, I swear! I love my family back on the rock farm! They're my family, how could I not love them?!" She sheepishly added. "It's just... they don't really understand. Ponyville's a lot different from a rock farm, and I've always felt different from the rest of my family. I'm glad that Mom and Dad let me stay here. But writing to them just isn't the same as having them around. So having a family right here in Ponyville, you can't begin to imagine how happy that makes me!"

Granny Smith sighed, frowning slightly. "Bust my buds, you're as stubborn as Applejack! If I didn't know better, I'd swear you two were twins or somethin'."

The pink coated filly giggled. "That's funny, because I am a twin. I'm a twin sister who's only slightly older than my little sister by a few minutes. But that's okay, she'll still be my baby sister."

Big Macintosh happened to come trotting up at that very moment, apparently having been attracted by the conversation that had been going on. "What's all this about family and cousins?"

Applejack quickly explained to her older brother. "Pinkie Pie here claims she's related to us, that she's our fourth cousin twice removed. But Granny Smith doesn't seem to think so."

The still relatively young mare protested. "Darn tootin' I don't! Not just anypony can claim to be an Apple!" She eyed Pinkie Pie with suspicion. "You got somethin' that can prove the link? Somethin' that shows how we might be related?"

The pink party pony smiled. "Yes I do! I was hoping you'd ask!" She reached up a hoof and dug into her mane. "Give me a minute, or two," She started pulling out random objects that should've been impossible to stuff into her mane: A big red bouncy ball, a rusty old horseshoe, an air pump, even a large gauze bandage roll and an umbrella. She tossed all those things aside without fanfare, and they loudly clattered to the floor in front of her. "Come on, come on," She mumbled to herself. "Where is it? I know I put it in here somewhere," After a bit more rummaging around, she finally pulled out a well worn scroll. "Aha, here it is! I was amazed when I first found it! Genealogy is better than cotton candy on top of a fountain of chocolate!"

Granny Smith took up the scroll, unfolding it and scanning it very carefully with her eyes. "Hm," She said as she squinted. "This scroll seems pretty old, doesn't look like it's in very good shape. Where exactly is this missing link of yours, Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie pointed to a spot way down on the scroll, right near the bottom. "Down there!" She insisted. "It says Applesauce of the Apple family lineage is a fourth cousin twice removed of the Pie family!"

The green coated earth pony mare examined the spot carefully, checking it over once and then checking it over twice. Her frown seemed to deepen. "I'm not so sure," She confessed. "Either my eyesight ain't what it used to be, or that line is awfully smudged. I think I can see the part about great great Applesaucie and fourth cousin twice removed, but I can't make out that last little blob on the end. You certain it says Pie?"

At that, Pinkie Pie somewhat nervously and sheepishly admitted as she twiddled and fiddled with her front hooves. "Well... okay... maybe it is a teensy-weensy bit smudged at the end. But in my heart, I'm sure it said 'Pie'. It just... feels right!"

"Well, ain't that the sweetest thing?" Big Macintosh commented. "If that's true, then I'm glad to consider you part of the family, Pinkie Pie."

Applejack, however, seemed to share Granny Smith's skepticism. "But we don't know for sure, do we? What if it's not 'Pie' after all?"

Pinkie's joyful mood immediately came to an abrupt halt when she heard the news! "What?! No way! That can't be true! It can't be! It said 'Pie', I'm sure of it!"

The freckled filly sighed. "Well, I know from experience that sometimes things ain't always what they seem. I remember I thought Manehattan would be the perfect place for me, and it turned out it wasn't," She then remarked. "If only there were some way to know for sure."

That prompted Granny Smith to gasp as an idea suddenly came to her! "That's it There's one pony can help us!"

"Who?" The pink party pony questioned.

"Goldie Delicious, the family historian," Granny Smith explained. "She's been in charge of the Apple family tree for as long as I can remember. If there's anypony who can settle this question, it's her."

"But didn't you say Goldie Delicious lives in a cabin far away?" Big Macintosh questioned his grandmother.

Granny Smith shook her head from side to side. "It ain't that far, really! We could probably be there and back within a day, almost nopony would even know we were gone."

"Then we have to go!" Pinkie Pie firmly insisted as she stomped a hoof down, a look of firey determination seemed to be reflected in her blue eyes. "I have to know whether I'm an Apple or not! I'll never be able to think of anything else until the question's been answered!"

Big Macintosh then commented with a grin as he looked at his grandmother and younger sister. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

Applejack excitedly exclaimed! "A family road trip!" But her joy soon faded. "But there's no way we can go. Ma and Pa are busy with Apple Bloom, they can't tend to her and run the farm all by themselves while we're gone."

Granny Smith unhappily sighed. "Well, I'll have a talk with them and see what they think. There might be some cousins not too far away we can have come and help out."

It was soon arranged, Granny Smith came back into the living room of the farm house a few minutes later and informed the children of what she had learned. "My son and his special somepony say they can manage just fine for one day, Apple Bloom ain't that fussy of a foal and there ain't much to do around the farm this time of year anyway," She looked at Big Macintosh and Applejack, telling them quite sternly. "But you two have to be on your best behavior. I don't need any arguments or silly ideas."

"Don't worry, Granny Smith," Big Macintosh firmly insisted. "We'll be as good as gold, we promise."

Pinkie Pie happily smiled and jumped up! "Great! I'll just zip back to Sugarcube Corner to get my stuff! I'm sure the Cakes won't mind, as long as I come back before nightfall." And without waiting for a reply, she zoomed out of the farm house and disappeared into the distance in the blink of an eye!

The Apples just stared in disbelief. No matter how many times they saw Pinkie do things that shouldn't have possible for anypony, they never quite used to it. They quickly opted not to dwell on the matter, instead getting everything ready for the trip out to Goldie Delicious' cottage.

A short time later, the Apple siblings and their grandmother were waiting out front with a wagon all but filled to the brim with boxes and trunks, along with seemingly everything else. Yet it didn't seem to bother the one who was going to pull the wagon: Big Macintosh. "I've pulled plows heavier than that!" He said to himself. "This'll be a piece of cake. Pinkie Pie'll be so impressed to know I'm as strong as my pa."

"Just be careful not to hurt yourself pattin' yourself on the back there." Applejack teased in a whisper.

Granny Smith then came trotting out, wearing a red bonnet with orange and yellow flowers, and tied together with light blue string. "Has anypony seen my travelin' bonnet?" She asked her grandchildren. "I can't seem to find it."

Big Macintosh and Applejack blinked in mutual confusion, before Big Mac saw fit to ask. "Ain't that what you're wearin' on your head, Granny?"

The earth pony mare with a lively green coat looked up, then frowned and huffed. "No, that ain't it!"

"You sure?" Applejack questioned. "'Cause it looks an awful lot like..."

Granny Smith immediately shut down the question with a simple. "-Well, it ain't, and that's final!" She was certain her traveling bonnet was of a different color and a different design. But alas, the one she had on her head now would have to do.

It was then that the freckled filly looked to her family members. There was something she wanted to ask of them before Pinkie Pie came back. "Hey, y'all," She quickly called out to them. "Can y'all gather 'round? I got somethin' I wanna say real quick before we get on the road."

"Don't tell me, I had somethin' stuck in my teeth this whole time," The relatively young earth pony mare remarked. "Gadsicknety, why didn't anypony say somethin'?! If we are family, I just made the worst first impression ever."

The filly with blonde locks protested. "No no, it's not that, Granny Smith. Your teeth are fine," And she explained the reasoning behind her hasty announcement. "I just wanted to be sure that we're all on the same page about showin' Pinkie Pie how awesome a family we really are. She's really excited about this, and I don't blame her. If we're related, I want to make sure she sees the Apple family at its best."

Granny Smith waved a hoof and blew a raspberry, shrugging off her granddaughter's concerns. "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head, honey. We're a great family, and she can't help but see it. We'll be fine."

"Eeyup." Big Macintosh firmly nodded as he prepared to hitch himself up to the wagon.

Just then, Pinkie Pie came rushing back to Sweet Apple Acres! Her saddle bags were practically bursting at the seams with how much that seemed to be stuffed into them! Yet it seemed to give her no trouble at all as she excitedly proclaimed! "The Cakes said I can go, I knew they'd say yes!" She all but literally raced up to the wagon as she then shouted! "Are y'all ready to go? Because I'm ready to go-go-go!"

But Applejack was suddenly filled anew with worry about how loaded up the wagon was, even with her bigger (and stronger) brother pulling it. So she nervously said. "Just a minute," Turning to her brother, she hesitantly asked. "Er, Big Mac? Are you sure we really need all that stuff?"

Big Mac just replied with a quick. "Eeyup." He said nothing further on the subject.

Applejack wasn't convinced, she kept on pressing. "Are you sure you're strong enough to really pull all that stuff?"

Slightly more annoyed, the earth pony colt retorted. "Eeyup." He even swished his tail to show how frustrated he was becoming with this line of questioning.

Still, the freckled filly decided to ask. "And are you sure the wagon's strong enough to hold it all?"

With a loud groan of frustration, the colt with a bright red coat huffed as his eyes narrowed. "Eeyup!!" Then he saw fit to add a retort. "If I didn't think I could pull of this, I'd have let you know! Can we get goin' already?! We don't have all day!"

"Okay, okay!" Applejack quickly replied, desperate to shut down a potential argument before it could get started. She and Pinkie Pie climbed into the wagon, sitting to either side of Big Macintosh. Then Applejack happily shouted! "Let's get this show on the road!"

Just like that, Pinkie Pie and the Apple family were off. The wagon wheels slowly but surely started to turn, and despite a little bit of straining from Big Mac at the start, they had soon built up a steady pace as Sweet Apple Acres slowly but surely faded from view. It wasn't long before they were out on the open roads, heading for the outskirts of Ponyville and the path that would take them to Goldie Delicious' cabin.

Naturally, the wagon ride through mostly empty roads could get quite boring and lonely. But the Apples had a sure fire way to break up that boredom. As the wagon continued to bounce up and down with every bump in the road that it hit, Applejack pulled out a banjo and started playing it! Then she excitedly shouted! "Come on, Apples! You know this one!"

"Hot diggity!" Granny Smith cheered.

"Yeehaw!" Applejack chimed in.

And all Big Macintosh had to say was a very excited "Eeyup!" Just like that, the whole Apple family was beginning to sing a song, a song that Pinkie Pie couldn't help but find catchy.

Applejack led the chorus, singing happily:

We've traveled the road of generations,

Joined by a common bond.

We sing our song 'cross the pony nation.

From Equestria and beyond.

Then Applejack and Big Macintosh started singing together:

We're Apples forever, Apples together,

We're family, but so much more.

And no matter what comes, we will face the weather.

We're Apples to the core!

Big Macintosh took the lead for the next few lines, all the while he continued to pull the wagon and its contents behind him with very little trouble.

There's no place that I'd rather be,

Than travelin' with all of my family.

Friends all around come to join and see,

As we sing out across this land!

And the chorus soon repeated itself, a bit more louder and prouder this time:

We're Apples forever, Apples together,

We're family, but so much more.

And no matter what comes, we will face the weather.

We're Apples to the core!

Now it was Granny Smith's turn to sing, first making use of a blanket and then some pirate costumes to emphasize her points.

We're peas in a pod, we're thick as thieves,

Any cliché you can throw at me.

And we're here for each other, through thick and thin,

You're always welcome with your Apple kin!

The singing seemed to stir at something deep within Pinkie Pie's heart, prompting her to sing as she first splashed a can of pink paint out into the air, then briefly floated on a bunch of balloons, and finally tossed out a rusty old kitchen sink that had somehow gotten mixed in with everything else. And her singing went something like this:

You're more fun than the color pink,

Or balloons flying over your favorite drink.

The love that I feel here is swim, not sink,

As we party across this land!

The chorus repeated itself once again, this time with Pinkie Pie joining the whole Apple family as they sang as loud as they could together:

We're Apples forever, Apples together,

We're family, but so much more!

And no matter what comes, we will face the weather!

We're Apples to the core!

Yet only a minute or so after they had finished singing, the group of traveling earth ponies had their joyful and relaxing road trip suddenly altered. WIthout warning, the wagon fell apart completely, dissolving into a tangled mess of boards and broken wheels!

Luckily for Pinkie Pie and the Apples, they weren't hurt. But with the wagon destroyed, they found themselves in an awkward predicament.

Applejack naturally couldn't resist turning her frustration and anger on the pony she deemed most responsible for the wagon's demise: Big Macintosh. After all, he had insisted it wasn't overpacked. With gritted teeth, she trotted up to him and all but stomped a hoof down. "Big Mac!" She began in a rather unhappy and visibly irritated tone of voice. "I thought you said," But before she could continue, she became aware of the all too watchful eye of Pinkie Pie. So she forced herself to lower her tone of voice and force a smile while nervously adding. "Uh-I mean-not that I'm blamin' you or anythin', because we don't play the blame game in this family, but I thought you said all this stuff wasn't gonna be too heavy."

Big Mac said nothing, not wanting to argue with his little sister. He just looked at the ground in shame, hoping that his blush wasn't showing through his bright red coat.

If Pinkie seemed at all worried, she didn't show it outwardly as she instead asked in a seemingly indifferent tone of voice. "So, how are we gonna get to Goldie Delicious' now? Should we turn back?"

Granny Smith shook her head from side to side. "We can't, we're closer now to cousin Goldie's place than we are to home. We'll just have to keep goin', somehow."

It was then that Pinkie Pie let out an excited gasp, as her wandering blue eyes spotted a river nearby! "Oh my gosh! I have the best... idea... ever!" And without waiting for a reply she proclaimed! "Family river trip!"

The freckled filly gulped. "Just one problem, Pinkie, we don't have a raft. And uh... some of us," She gestured to her brother. "Ain't exactly the best swimmers if you know what I mean."

Big Macintosh began to mutter under his breath. "I knew I should've packed that emergency raft. Why didn't anypony remind me?" But his comment went underheard to all but himself.

Luckily, the earth pony mare with a snow white mane and tail had an idea. "Well, back in the old days, we used to use the sap from a sugar pine tree to glue things together. Came in handy more than you might think."

"Well, that's... interestin', I guess," Applejack admitted with a shrug. "Not sure it's exactly helpful, but it is interestin'."

Granny Smith then scoffed. "'Not helpful'? Patooie! I'll tell ya how it's helpful," She quickly explained. "We're gonna build ourselves a raft out of these here jalopy parts and keep it all held together with sugar pine sap!"

The earth pony filly with an orange coat and sap green eyes shrugged her hooves again, unwilling to argue with her grandmother. "Well, guess it's worth a shot." And she joined the rest of her family (as well as Pinkie Pie) in gathering up the parts of the wagon that were still intact.

In a very short while, the four earth ponies had managed to build themselves a fairly decent raft that could stay afloat. Granny Smith was right, the sugar pine sap held the wooden boards together perfectly. They'd even found a way to turn one of the wagon wheels into a steering wheel for their raft.

"Could be worse, I guess," Applejack admitted as she stepped somewhat hesitantly into the raft. Then she said to the others. "Now remember, everypony, we're only packin' the essentials this time. Got it?" Everypony nodded back.

Pinkie Pie then excitedly shouted! "Wait a second!" She hastily produced a camera and flashed a picture with it! She smiled as she observed the finished photo a second or two later. "This one's for the scrapbook!" She proclaimed, as she stuffed the photo into a scrapbook already filled up with photos she had managed to take in the short amount of time she'd been on the road.

Applejack was amazed and astounded by the sight. "Pinkie Pie, how and when did you find the time to make somethin' like this?" She questioned her fellow earth pony.

The pink party pony just retorted before slipping on her lifejacket. "Applejack, when you're family, you make the time. Family is important." She said in an unusually serious tone of voice.

Applejack decided it best not to ask any further questions, instead slipping on her own lifejacket while watching as her brother and grandmother did the same. Then they all stepped onto the raft and set it adrift, floating away down the river.

For a while, Pinkie and the Apples floated along on the river without incident (aside from the occasional wave that splashed up against their raft and soaked them). Nothing seemed to be amiss, and it looked as if they would reach Goldie Delicious' place in no time.

But then suddenly, Applejack looked ahead and became concerned! Up ahead, the river split into three separate forks. "Uh-oh." She muttered to herself, suddenly stricken with a sense of dread.

Granny Smith, meanwhile, called out. "All right, y'all. Please tell me that the map back there didn' get wet. 'Cuz it looks like I'm gonna need it right about now."

"I'll get it!" Pinkie Pie shouted as she raced to the back of the raft before anypony could say anything in protest! The map was perched high above a series of trunks and boxes. Yet she climbed up them completely undeterred, not the least bit concerned about how wobbly they seemed to be. Hoisting herself up onto the last box, she could see the map just sticking out. The pink coated filly leaned forward, trying to grasp it with her hooves. But that was when the entire stack of trunks and boxes gave way, taking her with it!

Worse was to come, the sudden collapse sent the map floating helplessly through the air! The Apples were all stunned and gasped, and each tried desperately to jump up and catch it! Alas, their efforts were in vain. A sudden gust of wind blew the map away, causing it to land in the river behind them with a splash. And they couldn't stop the raft or go back, they were now forced to carry on without a map.

Pinkie, for her part, stood up and brushed the dust off her coat. She didn't seem to be hurt, but she was aware of the sudden onset of harsh glares that the Apple family were shooting her. "Guess I should've asked for help." The filly sheepishly admitted.

Applejack had to resist the urge to groan at her fellow filly's decision. "Ya think?" She muttered, but said nothing further on the subject.

"Ah, it's okay, we'll be fine without the map," Granny Smith insisted in a confident tone of voice, firmly grasping the wheel. "I travelled down this here river as a filly and I know it like the back of my hoof!"

The freckled filly wasn't so sure of that statement. "You really know which to go, Granny?" She asked her grandmother.

The earth pony mare retorted. "Does a June bug like to hide in a tree?"

"Uh... I don't know." Applejack replied with a hesitant blink.

Granny Smith just snorted. "Well I do know! And I also know we wanna head southeast if we wanna get to Goldie's as soon as pony possible. You youngin''s just let me worry about navigatin' this here river, and we'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail." And she turned the wheel as hard as she could, turning the raft in a southeasterly direction. The raft thus drifted off to the leftward fork, and the other forks quickly disappeared from view.

At first, it seemed like all was well. But it wasn't long before the raft started slowly but surely drifting towards an ominous looking cave.

"Um, Granny?" The earth pony filly with blonde locks spoke up as the cave drew nearer and nearer.

"What is it, Applejack?" Granny Smith asked even as she didn't loosen her grip on the wheel or make any attempt to alter the raft's path.

As beads of nervous sweat started to work their way down her face, the freckled filly anxiously asked. "Are we supposed to go through a cave? That cave doesn't look all that welcomin'."

The earth pony mare brushed off her grandchild's concern. "Ah, don't you worry, child! I know what I'm doin'! That ain't the scariest cave in Equestria, that's down the other way!"

Big Macintosh gulped. "The scariest cave in Equestria? I don't like the sound of that."

"Will you relax, we're gonna be just fine!" Granny Smith retorted! "I told you that this ain't the scariest cave in Equestria! Trust me, you don't wanna go into that cave," She began to speak in an ominous, spooky tone of voice. "It's a fright all right! Filled with creatures that'll eat ya soon as look at ya!"

Pinkie Pie seemed to briefly shudder, shiver, and shake with fright. "Ooh, sounds scary!" Then with a bright and sincere smile, she pleaded. "Tell me more, Granny!"

Granny Smith chuckled and resumed her story. "They say ponies go into that cave, but they never come out! Not in one piece! Which is exactly why I made sure not to send us toward it in the first place. So just sit back and relax, we've got nothin' to worry about!"

Applejack was anything but convinced. Something in the back of her mind told her grandmother was wrong. "Granny, are you absolutely sure we're goin' the right way to avoid that cave? The one we're headin' towards looks awfully scary to me."

But the earth pony mare with a green coat just snorted and narrowed her eyes as she stubbornly protested. "Now Applejack, I taught you better than to question your elders, didn't I?!"

Applejack, aware of the fact that Pinkie was nearby and was watching very closely, reluctantly decided not to start a potential argument. She instead swallowed hard. "You sure did, Granny. I guess I shouldn't be doubtin' ya." And with that, the raft and its occupants reached the entrance of the cave. Before long, their surroundings were plunged into darkness! They couldn't see even an inch in front of their noses.

Nothing seemed to happen, which prompted Granny Smith to boast! "See now? What I'd tell ya, youngin''s?! Nothin' to be afraid of, 'cause this ain't the-" But just then there came a loud roar from up above that made all the raft's occupants nearly jump! They looked up, and saw a terrifying creature illuminated only by its glowing red eyes! Whatever it was, it didn't look friendly at all!

The Apple family all screamed in fright! But Pinkie Pie wasn't bothered in the slightest, she just giggled and readied her camera! "Ooh, this is so exciting!" She exclaimed, hurridly snapping picture after picture as all sorts of terrifying creatures seemed to suddenly emerge from the darkness all around her! The monsters roared and growled, some even appearing to briefly try to swipe at the raft and its occupants!

Fortunately for the now frightened family of three, their terrifying, frightening journey ended very quickly. In the blink of an eye, a light appeared, and they emerged from the cave looking none the worse for wear. Even the raft seemed to be perfectly fine.

Pinkie, for her part, was just humming a cheerful little tune to herself as the raft emerged back into the bright sunlight and the cave slowly but surely retreated from view.

Once the Apples had time to get their bearings, Granny Smith was the first one to speak up. She seemed to realize her mistake as she said slowly. "Huh, I guess that actually was the scariest cave in Equestria after all," She quickly recovered, trying to insist in a confident tone of voice. "...which is exactly how I planned it! I meant to take us through that cave. Unexpected adventure is good for the soul!"

Pinkie Pie happily grinned! "Best granny wisdom ever. And I thought my Granny Pie was wise."

Applejack and Big Macintosh, however, were anything but pleased with Granny Smith's "intentional" mistake. They did not want to go through any more frightening, scary caves if they could help it. And that meant there was only one thing to do.

Applejack trotted forward, not so subtly nudging her grandmother aside. "Well, thanks a ton for that, Granny Smith. But ... uh... I think Big Mac and I will just take it from here. You just rest."

Granny Smith refused to budge, let alone relinquish control of the wheel. "Is this how I taught ya to treat your elders, Applejack?!"

"Ooh! Ooh! Is it?!" Pinkie asked in a seemingly unaware tone of voice. Her overall expression gave no indication that she was at all aware of the argument that might be about to unfold.

Applejack just replied with determination. "You taught me to trust my common sense. And my common sense says we should get to Goldie Delicious' cabin in one piece."

"And that is exactly what I'm gonna do!" Granny Smith insisted as she held on tighter to the wheel.

Applejack refused to budge on her claim. "That's mighty generous of you, Granny Smith, but you've helped enough for one day. Big Mac and I can handle this, just like we handle our chores on the farm."

The earth pony mare had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "Oh really? And how do you know which to go to get to Goldie's?"

"She makes a good point." Pinkie pointed out, smiling as she did so.

Applejack grit her teeth and with narrowed eyes she complained. "Well, it would've been easier if the map hadn't gone overboard, which would've never happened if somepony hadn't put it atop all those 'necessities'."

Granny Smith growled in a low tone of voice. "Well, that wouldn't have happened if Big Mac hadn't overpacked the old jalopy!"

"Eeyu-hey!" Big Macintosh grumbled. "If you hadn't overpacked in the first place, the jalopy would've held itself together just fine. I hardly packed anythin'!"

"Which is why I think it's best if we let me be in charge from here on out," Applejack firmly insisted. "I didn't overpack, the jalopy, cause the map to go overboard, or steer us down the wrong path. We'll all be just fine with me at the wheel." But neither her brother or her grandmother seemed to agree with her. They lunged for the wheel, trying to wrestle it away from Applejack. All the while, Pinkie Pie just sat there with an innocent smile. She said nothing and did nothing, yet seemed to be content watching the Apples argue and bicker.

At last, the argument came to a boil as the wheel was suddenly snapped off its post! It flew into the air, then came back down and landed in the river with an audible splash! A duck swap up through it, only to be snatched out of the water by an eagle, which also carried the wheel away. Just like that, the raft was adrift with no way to steer or control it.

Now it was Applejack's turn to look embarassed. Her attempt to take control had just made things worse.

Pinkie Pie then trotted forward, bobbing her head back and forth as she said to the Apple family. "I just wanna say... that I think you're all super duper, and I can't wait to make a page in my scrapbook about the amazing waterfall we went down!" Only after she'd finished speaking those words did the Apple family become aware of the fast approaching waterfall! She did join them in trying to paddle away from it, but it was of course no use. The current was too strong to escape! The raft drew closer and closer to the waterfall, and there was nothing anypony could do about it! So instead, as the raft reached the top of the waterfall and began to plunge down it, all the Apples could do was scream at the top of their lungs! Meanwhile, the pink party pony was happily snapping photos as fast as she could!

By some struck of luck, the Apple family survived the plunge over the waterfall. They were all frightened and visibly soaked, but they were unharmed. Miraculously, the raft they were on had also survived. Yet for the moment, there was no sign of Pinkie Pie anywhere.

The Apples, however, were still recovering from their state of shock over the sudden turn of events. And they breathed collective sighs of relief.

"Told ya that sugar pine sap would hold this thing together." Granny Smith boasted, confident that the raft would continue to hold itself together. But none sooner had she spoken those words than did the raft start to groan as a sickening crunch sound could be heard. The raft was beginning to break up!

Worse was to come, because it was at that very moment that Pinkie Pie descended from the sky above, held up by a bunch of colorful balloons that she had seemingly inflated from out of nowhere. The balloons had carried her to safety as the raft had gone over the waterfall, but as soon as she landed on the raft they all popped. And the raft broke up completely, plunging its passengers into the river!

The soggy earth ponies slowly stumbled ashore with what possessions they had managed to rescue from the river, and shook themselves dry as best they were able. Aside from Pinkie, the trip seemed to have left the travelers exhausted.

However, the ponies needn't have worried about having to make a long journey on hoof. Not long after they had reached the bank of the river and gotten out, what should meet their weary eyes but a lonely wooden cottage out in the middle of nowhere? There was no mistaking it, they had reached their destination.

Pinkie, not slowed or tired in the least by the journey, eagerly led the way to the cottage! She was practically bouncing along, cheering on the Apple family and encouraging them. "We're here! We're here! We made it to Goldie Delicious's's's's's!"

"Oh, great." Applejack replied, then paused to catch her breath. Her brother and grandmother did the same.

The filly with a pretty pink coat just smiled! "At last, I'll know the truth! I'll know for sure if I'm an Apple or not!" She bounced ahead a little more, strolling right up to the cottage's door. Something immediately caught her blue eyes, and she snatched it up. "Hey you guys, there's a note!" She quickly scanned it over, giggling. "Ooh, and on pretty paper too. I have to get paper like this!"

"Just read to it us, Pinkie." Applejack pleaded.

"Oh, sure, sure. In fact, I already read it over myself," Pinkie Pie admitted and cleared her throat. "It says that Goldie Delicious went out to run a few errands, but she'll be home soon!" She set the note down, eagerly exclaiming! "Ooh, that's perfect!"

Big Macintosh saw fit to ask. "Why is that perfect?" He couldn't see any reason for his potential fourth cousin twice removed's enthusiasm.

The filly with a poofy, curly mane and tail explained. "Because it'll give me enough time to get more scrapbook paper! See ya!" And she zoomed away before anypony could stop her or say anything in protest!

Now alone with each other, the Apple family could only collective groan and lament how things had gone so wrong. "Worst family road trip, ever!" Granny Smith unhappily remarked, a sentiment shared by her grandchildren.

Applejack looked down at the ground in shame. "I can't believe she witnessed our family fallin' apart like this. I'm just glad Mom and Dad weren't here to see this, they'd be so ashamed," She sighed and hung her head, turning to Granny Smith. "I can't believe I was arguin' with you so much that I tore the wheel right off the raft. It's like I wasn't myself at all. I don't know what I was thinkin'."

Granny Smith apologized. "Aw, that wasn't your fault, Applejack. My stubborn streak got a hold of me somethin' fierce. Should've let you take the wheel when you asked. Guess I don't know the rivers as well as I thought I did. I don't even know if the map would've been helpful, it's almost as old as me. A lot could change."

Big Macintosh then chimed in. "And we'd have never had to go by river if I hadn't been so determined to show off my strength. I knew the jalopy was packed too tight, but all I could think about was showin' off." He kicked at the ground, stirring up some dust in the process.

The freckled filly then declared. "Well, I do know one thing, y'all," She refused to lift her head as she sorrowfully stated. "I think we have to let Pinkie Pie know that even if she does discover that she's an Apple, she does not have to feel obliged to consider herself one. Not after the way we've been actin' today. All we did was show off our worst."

But it was then that the familiar, energetic voice of Pinkie Pie proclaimed loudly for all to hear! "Are you kidding me?! You guys are the best family ever! Don't ever let yourselves think otherwise!"

Applejack blinked her eyes in disbelief. "How can you even think that, sugarcube? Are you blind or somethin'?"

"Of course not, Applejack!" Pinkie protested. "My eyes can see perfectly, and my ears heard everything. I don't know why you all can't see what I see."

The freckled earth pony lamented. "What are you talkin' about? Just look at us: We started off this trip as one big unit."

"And look at where you are now," The pink party pony pointed out. "You're all here, still one big unit. That hasn't changed just because you had some arguments. Trust me, I've seen a lot of arguments in my family, many of them having to do with me. But you all love each other and you're owning up to everything that went wrong! You never gave up, even when things got tough! You aren't just family, you're best friends!" She rushed up and happily tackled Applejack, saying to her fellow filly's face. "And I wanna be an Apple more than ever, now!"

"Well, we want you to be one too, Pinkie," Granny Smith commented, before hesitantly adding. "If we can prove that connection of yours, anyway."

Just then, who should happen to come strolling up to the cottage but an earth pony mare who seemed only slightly older than Granny Smith? She had a light amber coat, eyes a beautiful shade of light green, a light grayish-green mane and tail that looked a bit like Pinkie Pie's mane style, and a cutie mark depicting an apple tree with golden apples falling from it. Sticking out of her saddlebags were several cats. "Now that's how you run an errand." She said to herself, as she then approached her unexpected guests.

Pinkie was, naturally, the first to greet the elderly earth pony. "Hello!" She exclaimed at the top of her lungs!

"Hello yourself!" The earth pony mare replied with a chuckle.

Applejack quickly realized who this earth pony was. "You're Cousin Goldie Delicious, right? It's so nice to finally meet ya."

Goldie Delicious gave a confirming nod. "Uh-huh, the feeling's mutual," She then asked. "And who are all of you?"

Pinkie proudly proclaimed! "We're Apples!"

Granny Smith quickly corrected. "Well, we think we're all Apples. Pinkie Pie here claims there's a missin' link between her family and the Apple family that makes her our fourth cousin. We were hopin' you could help us find out for sure."

Goldie Delicious chuckled. "Oh of course, of course! You came to the right place! If there's anypony who can help you solve this genealogy mystery, it's me!" She then approached her cottage door and tried to open it, only to find that it resisted her efforts. The door creaked and groaned, but refused to budge an inch no matter how much force the elderly earth pony applied to it. A slight blush formed on her cheeks as she apologized. "Oh my, I am so sorry about this. I wasn't exactly expectin' company."

"Need any help there, cousin?" Pinkie Pie offered.

The earth pony mare with a light amber coat protested. "No no, I got this," And she resumed pushing against the cottage door, trying to force to open as it creaked and groaned louder with every attempt. Yet she seemed to somehow slowly but surely be making progress. "Gotta... get some oil... for the hinges..." The door eventually gave way rather suddenly, swinging wide open and causing the mare to stumble into the cottage! From inside, there came the sound of loud meows from various cats.

Goldie quickly recovered and began saying to herself. "Alrighty then, just have to move a few things out of the way of the door," And she started tossing things aside, all the while she could be heard saying over the clutter and the chaos (which included a lot of meowing). "Get off of that, Mr. Fluffy... Come on, Pooples... come here, sweetheart..." She soon had things sorted out enough to invite her guests inside. "Okay, you can all come in now. Watch your step, and sorry about the mess!"

Pinkie and the Apples trotted into the cottage, taking notice of how dimly lit it was. The whole place was cluttered with dust and cobwebs, and various old objects that had clearly not been touched for a very long time. These included some very rusty looking horseshoes that had seen better days. Applejack ended up accidentally knocking them over.

"Careful now," Goldie Delicious cautioned. "Those belonged to your great-great-great-great uncle Apple Tart! They were the horseshoes he won the Equestrian Horseshoes Grand Championship with."

"Well, whose was this?" Pinkie Pie asked as she saw a moldly, dusty, cobweb covered gingerbread house.

With a sheepish, shameful look on her face, Goldie confessed. "Actually, that was my lunch, a few weeks ago. Never got around to finishing it, unfortunately," She then frowned. "But you didn't come here for that. Now let me see, where did I put that..." She scanned her surroundings, soon finding what she was looking for next to a pile of dust that had built up into the shape of a cat. It was a very old, very heavy book. Yet when she grabbed it by the teeth and grasped it in her hooves, she seemed to have no trouble at all carrying it across the cottage floor. "Aha, here we go! This here," She said with a slight groan. "This here is a complete record of the Apple family tree."

"Is there anything about an Applesauce, or how she's a fourth cousin twice removed of the Pie family?" The pink party pony asked in a hopeful tone of voice.

Goldie set the book down on the floor and opened it up. "Well, let me see," She squinted ever so slightly. "Forgive me, my eyesight ain't quite what it used to be. I had readin' glasses once, but I lost 'em somewhere and I don't know where. One of these days, I really should clean this place up better. Maybe get some kind of secret cave or somethin' to store all my important stuff, includin' these records," She began flipping through the pages, examining them carefully as the Apple siblings, Granny Smith, and Pinkie Pie all huddled close to her. "It's not here, or here, or, or here, or it certainly isn't here, is it...?" She remarked, until finally she found the page that described what Pinkie had told her. "Oh, here it is!"

The earth pony filly with a pretty pink coat's ears perked up. "Did you find it?!"

"Hold on, I think I'm gettin' to that part. I'm definitely seein' the part about Applesauce and fourth cousin twice removed," Goldie explained and squinted again, examining the next part of the text really closely. Then she nervously remarked. "Oh dear!"

Granny Smith had to beat back the urge to gulp. "'Oh dear'? What is it, Goldie?"

Pinkie Pie felt her heart sink as she assumed the obvious. "So... am I not really an Apple after all? I was so sure I was."

Much to the dismay of everypony present, however, Goldie Delicious just answered. "I'm afraid I can't tell. That last part's awfully smudged. Must've been a book keepin' error, it seems like whoever wrote this part about Applesauce did it in a hurry. And all the Apple family records were moved to my cottage long ago, there's no chance of anythin' bein' missin'," And she apologized. "I'm sorry, I don't think I can help you out after all. We may never know who Applesauce was a fourth cousin twice removed of."

Pinkie felt herself start to tear up, even as she tried to force a smile. "Then, that's it. We came all this way for nothing. I thought was an Apple, but maybe I'm just a Pie and that's all I'll ever."

But the freckled earth pony filly saw fit to protest the idea. "Well you know what, Pinkie, I reckon it doesn't matter what some scroll or some book does or doesn't say. You may not technically be related to us by family tree, but I can safely say that you're definitely an Apple on the inside! You've got the heart of one! You truly are an Apple to the core! Maybe you can't choose what kind of family you get born into, but you can choose the family you want to be part of."

Applejack's speech was enough to lift Pinkie's spirits ever so slightly, and that made her realize something. "You know what, all this time I was so excited about having a new family to be part of, and I forgot I already had a loving family. Mom, Dad, and my sisters all love me. We may be apart now, but I can always stay in touch with them through letters. I'm a Pie, always have been and always will be. That's not going to change no matter who I might be related to."

"Glad you think so, sugarcube," Applejack smiled. "But who knows? Maybe someday we can find out for sure."

"Sure, someday. But someday isn't today," Pinkie protested, before pulling out her camera again. "Still, it would be a shame to let this road trip go to waste. So, whaddya say? One last Apple family photo for the album before we head back?"

All the Apples happily agreed, as did Goldie Delicious. They all huddled close to their honorary family member as she happily pressed a button on her camera with her tail. The photo came out perfectly, and was the perfect choice to conclude her scrapbook adventure of the road trip she had embarked on.

Later, Goldie Delicious was more than happy to let her guests borrow one of her wagons to make the journey back to Ponyville. Though before they left, she tried to offer. "Y'all sure you don't want to take any of these Apple family heirlooms home with you? I reckon now's as good a time as any for a little spring cleanin'." The heirlooms she had suggested clattered loudly behind her, tumbling down into a heep.

Big Macintosh summed up the sentiments of all present as he firmly replied. "Eenope!"

"We'll be seein ya', Goldie!" Granny Smith called as the wagon started to move. "And thanks again for this wagon." The road trip back to Ponyville would pass completely uneventfully for all, which was just fine considering what they had endured on their way out to Goldie's cottage.

"Wow!" Apple Bloom commented in amazement once Applejack had finished her story. "No wonder you and the rest of the family never liked to talk about that road trip."

Applejack let out an unhappy sigh. "Yeah, it wasn't exactly our finest moment. Sure, we came out of it okay. But if I could do the whole thing over again, there's a lot would change. We were lucky Mom and Dad didn't ask for a lot of details when we got back, and we all agreed it was best not to bring it up if we could help it."

Apple Bloom was still a little bit puzzled. "But did all of those things really happen? You know, like goin' through the scariest cave in Equestria or goin' over a waterfall?"

Applejack adjusted her trusty stetson. "Believe me, I can hardly believe we made it out of those ordeals in one piece. But they sure happened alright. Of course, Pinkie Pie bein' Pinkie Pie, she laughs every time she thinks about 'em. Seems like there's almost nothin' that could phase her. Still, at least we got the issue resolved before it could become a problem."

Apple Bloom then pondered. "Did we ever find out if Pinkie was really related to us or not? Even that scroll I found from Twilight didn't say for sure. And fourth cousin twice removed is kind of hard to prove."

Applejack could only remark. "It's like I said when we went on that road trip: Doesn't matter what some scroll says, Pinkie's an Apple at heart and always will be. Family goes beyond what's written," She then put a hoof to her chin, contemplating. "Still, we've never gotten around to askin' her folks if they know anythin'. Maybe we should do that at some point. Maybe next Hearth's Warmin', cause Pinkie's thinkin' of invitin' us out to her family's rock farm to celebrate it."

Author's Note

This is probably one of the episodes that needed the fewest amount of changes, most everyone seems to at least enjoy this episode for what it is. The only thing that anyone ever complains about is the lack of a resolution as to whether or not Pinkie is an Apple. And while it's true that sometimes it's more about the journey than the destination, having a lack of resolution can make the whole trip seem pointless.

My decision to turn this episode into a flashback and remove Apple Bloom had mostly to do with the set-up. In-universe, there's never a stated reason why Twilight is studying genaology, and her interactions with Pinkie Pie seem like fairly typical TwiPie interactions where Pinkie just shows up and bothers Twilight while she's doing research or working on a spell. It's not out of character, but it doesn't really contribute anything and feels like it was done just to get the plot moving.

Plus, way back when this episode was first announced, I was thinking the plot was going to be something of a "The Grass is Always Greener" type of plot. That it would be about Pinkie wanting to belong to a different family given her possible strained relations with her parents (remember, this was before "Hearthbreakers" showed she was still on good terms with them). Also, setting this in the past and removing Apple Bloom means there's no outdated ponylicious rhyme.

~~Stare Master~~
~~Pinkie Apple Pie~~
The Cutie Map, Parts 1 and 2
The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone
Hard to Say Anything (Bonus Chapter)
A Health of Information
Uprooted
The Royal Apologies (The Point of No Return)
The Big Mac Question (Bonus Chapter)