Spike's Sorrow

by Caladis

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Velvet, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Drama, Spike
Length: 2513

Spike has a secret he's been keeping but he can't deal with it anymore

Story is set at the end of Season 3

* * *

Spike has always felt a little out of place but he did his best to meet expectations. He enjoyed being a member of the Sparkle family, and did everything he could to help.

As time passed on, Spike wistfully accepts that he isn't really Twilight's little brother and he isn't sure he wants to be just her assistant anymore either. What he needs... is a mom.

* * *

Cover art is by dSana from the comic The Shadow Shard, pg. 92.

Featured 8-2-24, 8-3-24, 8-4-24 and 8-5-24. My first ever story featured for 4 days.

Published 2024-08-02 21:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-02 21:30:00 UTC

Moms Give the Best Hugs

Since his birth at the horn of Twilight’s magic, Spike had grown up in the Sparkle household, raised alongside Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor as an honorary third sibling. He was included in most family activities, but not all, and he did have a few cases growing up where he felt like a burden or like an outsider. He was the only dragon in Canterlot, and he stuck out like a sore claw, though it was obvious that Velvet did her best to minimize that.

It wasn’t until he got older that he realized how expensive a gem was compared to a hayburger, and in the absence of meat, he needed a lot of gems. Fortunately for the family, Princess Celestia seemed willing to provide all the gems he needed given that Twilight Sparkle was her personal student, but he secretly worried what would happen if Twilight was, for some reason, no longer the Princesses student at some point in the future.

Twilight Velvet was a good housekeeper and Night Light was a good provider but neither felt like his parents to him. Spike was overjoyed to spend the majority of his time with ‘his sister’ Twilight Sparkle, but he always had felt that the bond went deeper, at least for him.

Years and years in the tower… first at ‘home’ in the family tower and then in the Canterlot Castle tower where Twilight lived as Princess Celestia’s personal student when she became old enough to live on her own, had defined his life. As he grew older, he became less of a younger brother and more of a servant to the mare that had given him life. He accepted his situation wistfully.

He loved her and he hated her.

He had tried to push her to make friends in the hopes that she would be more of a friend to him as well, since he couldn’t be her son. Her refusing to attend Moon Dancer’s party disheartened him but her being sent to Ponyville to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration with the order to make friends gave him hope. He was happy to be allowed to tag along as her personal assistant to Ponyville, not that he would ever be anything else.

Living in the library in Ponyville wasn’t much different than living in the towers in Canterlot. There were lots of books and Twilight always seemed to have something that was super urgent to do that half of the time didn’t include him.

Eating that perfect apple in front of Twilight and Applejack just before she got the Grand Galloping Gala tickets had been satisfying for him because denying her the apple when she was clearly hungry was a subtle payback for her denying him the love of a mother. Applejack had said nothing of it, apparently happy that even a dragon could like her apples, but Twilight looked mad about it. Her admonishment for him eating the apple felt like the scolding of a mother, which made him feel better in a very odd way.

For Twilight Sparkle was his mother… whether she wanted to admit it or not. She may not have laid the egg, but she did hatch it. Like most reptiles, he had imprinted on her, and she was his mother, not that he would ever be able to tell her that.

A whole year of adventures in Ponyville with her new friends as an Element of Harmony had opened her up to new frontiers of friendship and family, the other elements becoming as close as sisters to her. Too bad that they also didn’t see Spike as a brother.

He, himself, had enjoyed becoming friends with all of them and pursuing Rarity’s hoof had been fun, though he wasn’t sure if he loved her or if her simply loved the fact that her cutie mark was diamonds and she always seemed to have extra gems for him to snack on.

Yes, Rarity used him, and he knew it, but it was no worse than Twilight had done, in her own way. In Twilight’s service, Spike had cooked, cleaned, ran errands, handled her checklists, wrote her letters for her, sent letters to the Princess for her, and tried to remind her of important deadlines that occasionally slipped her mind. All for her sake. Did she thank him for his hard work? Sometimes… not often enough in his opinion.

Sweetie Belle and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders were fun to play with when he had time or a day off, and that gave him extra excuses to spend time with their families when Twilight didn’t need him, which she often professed to not need him, to his dismay.

What struck him as odd was that none of his friends seemed to have moms either. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both were being raised by their sisters and Scootaloo was being raised by her aunts. Spike didn’t know which is worse… having your mom die when you were so young that you didn’t remember her or knowing who your mom was and still being raised by a different relative, spending almost no time with them.

In Spike’s case, he never knew who his dragon mom could have been, as even Celestia didn’t seem to know where his egg came from before it was taken by her school for gifted unicorns. Growing up, he had been expected to call Twilight Velvet ‘mom’ but it never sat right with him.

The events of the Canterlot wedding made things interesting, as his only older brother had become a Prince from his marriage to their old foal sitter, which happened to be a princess. Defeating the Changelings made Twilight a heroine, but it did nothing for him. He wasn’t even on stage with the other Elements of Harmony when they got their medals.

He was still a sidekick at best, and barely an honorary younger brother that both Twilight and Shining Armor seemed to forget about. The fact that they had never included him in the Sibling Supreme crown thing was proof of that.

The next few months were even rougher for him as the tasks that Princess Celestia seemed to give the Elements got harder and more dangerous.

Spike had been pleasantly surprised to become the Hero of the Crystal Empire in the King Sombra incident and he kinda felt bad about Twilight thinking that she had failed, but then, now she knew how he felt, not that he would ever rub it in her muzzle.

Taming Discord was more of a Fluttershy problem and Twilight finally earned her wings as a Princess of Equestria after fixing an old spell first created by her idol, Starswirl the Bearded, that had never worked as intended. Twilight becoming a Princess was a shock for him and for all of her friends but his smile when he bowed to her that first time had been genuine, though sad, because Twilight being a princess would make her even less of a mom for him now that she would slowly have to be a mom for all of Equestria just like Princess Celestia was.

Being in Canterlot again during the coronation of Twilight Sparkle as the Princess of Friendship brought back many old and lonely feelings for him.

* * *

Velvet turned a corner in their old Canterlot Tower home and saw Spike on the couch.

“Can I get you a drink or a gem, Spike?”

He sighed. “No… I do need advice though.”

Velvet sat down beside him. “Of course, Spike. Anything for my foal.”

His voice was wistful. “…But I’m not your foal… I’m Twilight’s foal. She hatched me. You may have helped raise me, but Twilight Sparkle is my mother. She only sees me as an honorary younger brother or as her personal assistant, but I know in my heart that she is my mother and I want to express how I feel but I don’t know how…”

Velvet’s heart panged with guilt as she hugged him. “It may be my fault that Twilight sees you as a brother and not as her son. She was so young when she hatched you that I didn’t feel like she was ready to be a mother, so I took on that burden for her. I’m so sorry, Spike…”

Spike jumped up to hug her back. “I don’t blame you, but I still don’t know how to express how I feel.”

Velvet paused. “If you like, I could talk to her for you?”

He rubbed the back of his head but nodded. “I don’t want her to feel guilty about it, but I’ve felt this way nearly my entire life. You’re a good mom, Velvet, but you’re not my mom.”

Spike watched the pain from his statement radiate on Velvet’s face before she turned to leave the room. She was clearly holding back tears. He called out to her before she fully left the room, hoping to lessen her pain.

“You might have to settle for being my grandmother instead, if you can get Twilight to accept her role in my life.”

Her sorrow slowly became a smile as tears rolled down her face freely. Losing a son was hard for her, but she seemed to embrace the idea of being a grandmother.

“Well then, I need to get you a drink and some gems. Grandmare’s got to spoil their grandfoals.”

Velvet brought back a gem and some tea. Spike ate the gem and drank a little tea, showing the minimum amount of gratitude from a guest before getting up to leave.

With concern, Velvet called out to him. “Where are you going?”

He sighed. “I’m going to take a walk. I’ll be back tomorrow."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Tomorrow! Why stay out so late?”

Spike hiccupped, biting back tears. “I can’t handle this anymore. If Twilight doesn’t want to be my mother, then I don’t belong in the family. Tomorrow will be the last time you ever see me if Twilight can’t embrace me as her son.”

Velvet’s tears returned hot and thick as the gravity of the situation hit her like a brick.

* * *

The coronation and parade were quick by the standards of hosting one. Twilight had become a princess, but she wasn’t ruling over anything yet, so the party was short. Returning to her family’s tower, she was surprised to see that Spike wasn’t there.

“Hi mom. Where’s Spike?”

Velvet sighed, evidence of her crying recently no longer on her face. “He went for a walk. I think we need to talk about your relationship with him.”

Twilight sat down on the couch with a frown. “What relationship? He’s my number one assistant and nothing else.”

Velvet met her gaze. “That’s the problem. I raised you to treat him as a younger brother and yet now he’s just your assistant. Now that you are a Princess, is he going to drop even lower and become a literal servant, your highness?”

The question shocked Twilight as she winced as if slapped. “No! I would never treat him that way. Where is this coming from?”

A tear rolled down Velvet’s face, causing Twilight to freeze. When her mom cried, it was serious. Twilight wrapped her mother up in her hooves and with her wings, trying to give comfort and support.

“Mom… what’s wrong?”

Velvet sighed. “It’s Spike. He imprinted on you when he was born. For his entire life, he has seen you as his mother and yet… he got treated like an unwanted younger brother that slowly became more of an assistant or a servant than family. He wants to love you as his mother, but he wasn’t sure how you would take that… and then, tonight… he said that he would leave and never come back if you didn’t want to be his mom because this is too painful for him. I believe that his exact words were that he can’t handle this anymore.”

Twilight’s jaw hung open in shock. “He’s going to leave and never come back? Why didn’t you stop him!” Her voice had risen significantly.

Velvet yelled back. “Because it’s not my place anymore! I raised him as my son, but he doesn’t see me as his mother. You are his mother, Twilight, and if you care enough to be worried about him, then go find him.”

Tears rolled down Twilight’s face. “Is there a book I should read about this?”

Velvet shrugged. “There are more than a few on how to be a mother. I’m sure you could find one on how reptiles imprint themselves on their mothers. The thing is… you’re still focused on the wrong thing. Your son needs you to go find him and hug him and tell him that you love him. You can’t be worried about acting like a bad mother when at the moment you aren’t acting as a mother at all.”

Twilight set her jaw and ran out of her parent’s home in search of Spike. She had never considered that he might see her as his mom, which made her treatment of him even worse.

She ran around the city looking for him for over an hour when she finally found him sitting on the ledge of a bridge, looking at the moon.

Her heart was in her throat. Was he going to jump?

“SPIKE!”

He yelled out in surprise, a claw clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath. “Jeez, Twilight. You scared me so bad that I almost fell off the bridge.”

He jumped down off the ledge and back onto the cobblestone street, dusting himself off while she ran as fast as her legs could carry her and wrapped her hooves and wings around him, crying ugly tears onto his shoulders.

Spike stood stock still, shocked at her uncharacteristic emotions. “Are you okay, Twilight?”

She shook her head and continued to hold him. He stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say.

Finally, through her tears, she rasped out. “I can’t believe that I almost lost you. I can’t believe that I didn’t see the signs before. I can’t believe that I allowed myself to think of you as anything less than my son… I love you, Spike. Please don’t leave me.”

He gasped. Those words. The words he had longed to hear for so many years were finally his.

Twilight fell back onto her flank, so tired from the drain of emotions after a very long day that Spike was left holding her hoof and looking at his mom lovingly, with a new amount of love and respect.

She was still crying when he finally let go and she placed her hoof back on the ground. He smiled and placed his own arms behind his back, now knowing exactly what to say.

“…Mom, I love you too.”

* * *

Author's Note

Written as a Birthday present to myself

All Comments are Welcome

Now with an Audio Reading - https://youtu.be/Q3Ji6nng9WY?si=7Bz0gKKdjKwbjFCa