Dark Night woke up. First thing she did was contemplating just what happened yesterday. My actions were quite impulsive in hindsight. I should've thought before acting. Next thing she did was feel pain around the whole body. With a groan, she got up, only to regret it a moment later. She nearly fell on the floor from pain which was much more sharp now. It was like a million of needles piercing her, inside a lava chamber, while being compressed from all sides. Dark Night generally believed herself to be smart, rational and cold-minded, so naturally she said the only thing suiting this situation.

"Fucking tartarus in this unholy fucking trash nation of inferior degenerates. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! fuck this purple whore, i fucking should've fucking killed her that time. Fucking black subpony with her retarded fucking plans. I'll fucking feed her alive to her dumb fuck excuse of a nation. Fucking magic with this fucking body fucking hurting so much, fuck. I'll fucking break the legs of all mares in this horseshit fucking village." Night took a few breaths. Pain was now on a more tolerable level. Adrenaline, perhaps. Already on the second round, which included the princesses, deities, pegasi, unicorns, earth ponies and everyone's family trees, she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Twilight was standing outside of it. While she was thinking on what excuse to come up with instead of admitting she put a spell to detect when Dark Night wakes up, the opportunity presented itself. A torrent of words inside the room transcended everything Twilight heard in her life. A huge amount of hate was evident in the voice, while the words and sentences didn't seem to stop. She had to knock, because from what it looked like, this would otherwise take a while.

Dark Night stopped upon hearing knocks on the door, shifting back to reality. I feel better already. Perhaps I should do this more. "Come in," she said. Twilight opened the door and the two awkwardly stared at each other.

"So, uhm. Are you alright?" Twilight didn't have much to say, but she clearly needed to say something, so a rhetoric question it was.

Dark Night started thinking on the answer. Obviously, I can say no. Then, she'll probably leave me alone for some time. However, what will I do? With this exhaustion of my body, I wonder if I could even learn any spells. Just how exhausted is my magic? Dark Night activated her horn, slightly moving the door. As expected. It makes sense to answer yes and do her pointless task now, and do more meaningful actions later. It'll also help me get her trust.

Twilight eventually decided to break the silence. "Night? You've been staring into a wall for a minute straight."

Mean Twilight was pushed out of her thoughts with this. "Oh? Yes, I'm alright. Just a little weak here and there."

"Are you sure? I'm not entirely confident in your current state. Want me to cast a healing or a painkiller spell, maybe?" Twilight sounded concerned.

"I'm alright," repeated Night. Painkiller spell is tempting. But I need to feel the pain. It's not that much. Yesterday, I didn't feel bad, and it got me where it got me. Let's just get over with this. "Didn't you have a list of friendship stuff to do for me?"

"I'm glad you remembered! Although I don't remember telling you... But first things first, you really need to take a shower."

That statement hurt Dark Night on many levels. First, I didn't feel pain. Then, visual and audial hallucinations. Now this. Do I really smell? Can't trust my senses. I need to only trust my mind. My mind and my magic. Despite that, Dark Night's face remained neutral and stoic. "Would you mind showing the way?"

"Of course! Follow me," said Twilight, deepening into her thoughts after walking out.

Dark Night tailed Twilight as they moved through the castle. Night inspected the pillars, large windows and curtains. It all looks so strange. Just what architect would design it this way? Now that I think of it, the entire construction looks completely fucked. How was it built as is? You'd have to constantly maintain balance for it to not fall on either side. Perhaps I can ask Twilight? That's a good idea. A conversation while we're walking so she wouldn't suspect too much about me. "I wonder, how did this place came to be? It all looks so complex and huge. Do all ponies live in such places?"

Twilight snapped back to reality. "Oh? Oh, obviously not. It's a long story. The tree of harmony gave it to me after Tirek destroy the oak tree library." Her voice slowed a bit at the end.

That did not go unnoticed by Mean Twilight. "Do you miss it?" She genuinely did not get it. Why would someone want a small library over this? Obviously, it's concealed better, but is also more vulnerable. With the amount of rooms over here, I imagine there are far superior options to hide. And walls do look tough, especially with those crystal pillars backing them up.

"I can't say I don't miss it. That time it was just me and Spike, most of it I wasn't even a princess. I Didn't have to worry about so much things. But I don't regret what happened. If it wasn't for all this, maybe I wouldn't befriend Starlight, and then if Starlight didn't save Equestria with Trixie, Thorax and Discord, who knows what would have happened?" Twilight wasn't paying much attention to what she's saying up to this point. "Ah, it must be very confusing to you. You don't even know them."

"It's alright." Because I stopped caring past the third of this sentence.

Suddenly, Twilight stopped, pointing her hoof to a room. "Here's all you need. You do know how to shower, right?" That might've been a ridiculous question for anyone else, but it wasn't illogical, considering the mare before Twilight was technically less than a weak old.

"I'm not a filly," said Night in a calm manner, but her ego took a blow on the inside. What could be so hard in showering? I'm not a genshin impact player.

"Right. I'll leave you to it then," said Twilight, heading off.

Dark Night entered the room and closed the door behind her, then inspected her surroundings. After a few moments, it came to her. I do in fact have no idea how to. Deciding to start with water, she looked at the water tap, then at the strange handle with many holes, then at the 2 x-like things. She got into the shower, turning the red one slightly. Water started flowing from the tap. Dark Night curiously touched it and instantly got her hoof away. It was very hot. Perhaps red symbolizes fire, then blue must symbolize ice. She turned the blue one on too, and water became cold.

Clearly, ponies are idiots. Couldn't they just make it so that there's an option for neutral temperature? Thinking on it a bit more, she figured that by combining fire and ice, she could reach that ideal temperature. And so, after 7 painful minutes and very precise magical turning, she managed to get slightly hot, comfortable water. "Whoever invented this has hurt the ponykind way more than I will ever manage. One millimeter to the right and you're melting, one to the left and you're turning into an ice statue. Ridiculous."

There was still a problem. With what height she was, and the water tap was, she could at best shower her hooves. Then looked at the switch between the temperature changers. With one swift motion, she moved it to the right, and suddenly water rained on her from above from the shower handle. So that's what that's for. Convenient. Grabbing it with magic, she shot water at all her body parts, then put it back to the top. If I understand correctly, I need to apply something and then wash it off to complete the shower.

She looked at her options. Many gels, shampoos and all other interesting stuff was there in tubes. Trying one out, she quickly figured out there was no way to apply on the belly, unless she wanted to flip upside down. Her eyes got on the soap. I can just rub this all over my body with magic. Why even use these tubes? "Tsk," she said, proceeding to soap herself everywhere. After a few minutes, she put the soap back and used the shower handle again, washing off the soap.

After getting out of the shower, she looked for towels. Finding them, she dried herself with a clean one and put it into the pile of used ones. Then, she got to the mirror. My mane is kinda messy. But I don't really care. She smiled herself in the mirror and winked, inspecting her own body from multiple angles afterwards. "I am that good." Dark Night then proceeded to walk out of the room.

"You sure take your time," said Twilight, somehow managing to remain in a positive tone with such a statement.

"I was... Enjoying the water," lied Dark Night. In truth, she didn't care all that much for it. Getting the optimal temperature was only for the body to not catch a burn or a cold. I should've taken more time just to annoy her. Ah, mistakes happen. Better luck next time. That's assuming she waited at the door, however. Maybe she did the same when I woke up? "Also, did you just stand and wait here?"

"Uhm, uh, well, let's go on with your friendship lesson, shall we?" Twilight gracefully dodged the question.

"Thinking about it, if you're teaching me a lesson, what does that make us?" Night started derailing the conversation. Assuming she isn't an idiot, she will figure out I don't care shit about friendship at some point in those lessons. Or not. The reverse logic applied, she will only gain more trust and turn more blind to what I truly am. Perhaps it doesn't truly matter what I do, and there is no ultimate victory from either approach. Perhaps I'll appear not so eager. It will only make sense. Even better, i'll make her lose her temper. With logic impaired, she won't see things how they truly are. And if I stop fooling myself, I guess it is kinda fun to be silly.

"Huh? Why, teacher and student of course!" said Twilight proudly. She was truly enjoying the fact she finally had another student to teach, exclduing those at school obviously-it was different. Even Starlight was different, now that she thought about it.

"How about a master and a dark apprentice?" said Night with a smirk.

Twilight giggled at the idea. "That sounds ridiculous. Absolutely not," she said in a non-authoritary tone.

"Yes, master," replied Night.

Twilight's cheeks got slightly red, but quickly turned back. "Please don't call me that. We're friends first. Everything else comes afterwards... This just makes it sound like I'm some kind of loyalty-demanding tyrant." Twilight took a few seconds to form the last sentence.

Instantly, Dark Night thought of the best reply possible. "Your wish is my command."

Twilight decided to switch the topic before getting a sharp answer again. "Ugh! Let's check in with the list." Her horn glowed, which signalized she cast some spell, and before her appeared a gigantic checklist.

"Sweet mother of mercy," said Dark Night, which was the only way to describe that contraption. It quadripled from the last time I saw it. There is no end. Oh magic beyond.

Starlight Glimmer passing nearby with a coffee looked at the situation. "May your soul rest in peace, Night, your sacrifice will not be forgotten" she said, purposefuly making a dramatic face.

"Oh shush, you!" Twilight turned at the mare, but Starlight was smart enough to teleport out. "Ahem." Twilight looked back on the list. "Thing here is this not a standart list, we have a handful of transitions, possible orders, independent tasks, lines of progressions, oh you wouldn't believe!" She was excited to make this work on practice, but saying how great it is beforehand also seemingly made her happy.

Perhaps I should use the fire spells I learned. But if I do that in front of her, my physical safety will be threatened instead of my mental one. Well, the faster you begin, the sooner you end. Dark Night huffed loudly. "What's the first thing?"

"Well there's a first few steps which we can do by walking and talking, if that's alright with you?"

"Can't wait," said Night sarcastically. Twilight started walking with Night to her left, slightly behind.

"So, what do you think friendship is, in your view?" Twilight started with the first logical question. How could one learn friendship without knowing what friendship is?

"Friendship is, hmm, I need some time to form it into a sentence." Twilight remained silent, as they slowly walked, letting Night finish the thought. "Friendship is a relations-no. Friendship is... a type of a... platonic positive relationship between a group of individuals. With such perception of it from every side." Dark Night may not have known what exactly friendship is, but logic allowed her to form an impressive answer. Truly, I've outdone myself.

"Well I..." Twilight did not expect that. She expected some wrong answer, or at least not a full one. This was a dead solid definition, impossible to argue about, but maybe possible to expand it. "This isn't exactly what I meant, but I guess you aren't wrong. Moving on, do you think friends should agree on everything?"

Well that sounds like a rhetorical question. Obviously it's about friends not arguing or being enemies. But why would she ask something like that after asking for a complex definition? Maybe the answer is actually no, for whatever reason. On the other hand, it can be me overthinking. Viewing it logically, the answer is yes. "Yes," eventually said Dark Night.

Twilight's eye lit up, instantly making it clear the answer was wrong. She was looking at her clone like Starswirl was looking at two unsupervised alicorn fillies. "Wrong!" she said enthusiastically. "Friends can disagree on things, and it's normal. You wouldn't find two ponies who share the same opinions on everything, much less will you find enough to make friends."

Bold assumption I'd make them. Getting a few loyal slaves, or at least devoted servants is far superior. But I guess it makes sense. Agreeing on everything is downright impossible. I should ask an idiotic question so she thinks I actually care. "Then, what do you do when you disagree with your friend?"

"Good question! It depends on the case itself. If your friend is, for example, misunderstanding a math problem, then you should explain their mistake to them and help understand why they're wrong. On the other hoof, if your friend thinks yellow is better than green, while you think the opposite, you should just leave it be, neither is objectively correct or incorrect," Twilight explained.

"I see." I wish this conversation will end as soon as possible. Dark Night was visibly unshaken, maintaining her neutral face, not concerned by her mistake, and little did Twilight know, not concerned with the situation itself.

Twilight and Dark Night were already walking through ponyville. There weren't many ponies on the street, but those who were there wondered why are there two Twilights of different shades. Twilight, meanwhile, was getting to the next step of her list in her head.

"If two of your friends were fighting, what would you do?" Twilight asked, already glad they were ahead of time-she calculated their trip and approximated how much they would spend on questions to fit it in.

I could tell them I'll break both of their heads off the nearest wall if they don't stop. But that's presumably not the answer she wants. Considering my only current friends are her and Starlight though, I wonder what woud happen if they fought? Didn't they nearly destroy time in their previous battle? I imagine there's only 1 adequate answer to this, then. "I'd not intervene." Twilight returned a confused look, like she wasn't expecting this answer, but it wasn't a great one either. This cannot be wrong. What can you possibly do that's better than this? If they're such good friends, can't they deal with their own fight themselves?

"Well, sometimes it is correct, but in general, it isn't. If your friends are fighting you should stop them and settle the conflict peacefully," said Twilight, after processing for a few seconds.

"I don't think I could stop you." Not yet. And stopping without lethal force is even harder. "Much less you and Starlight"

Twilight again took some time to process how did it jump to her and Starlight. Then gears started shifting and she remembered what happened. "Oh. I... It was wrong of me to ask that question. You probably have bad memories from that evening. I'm sorry, I forgot-," Twilight was about to finish and tell that Night has no friends, but caught herself in time to stop. "-forgot... I mean, I'm sorry for what happened. Would you perhaps like to spend the walk in silence?"

"It would be good," said Night, already catching up on what Twilight is doing and making her face more grim. If I make her believe I have trauma, I can abuse it for a while. I can use her guilt. She just handed me such a powerful weapon without even thinking about it.. Her face went into a state of an evil grin.

Twilight, meanwhile, was beating herself on the inside, trying not to panic. In her view, it was a very major mistake. What if Dark Night is just pretending she's alright? What if she runs away and does not come back this time? Those and many more hypothetical scenarios were driving her crazy, alongside many options of what she could say to handle it better.

A bit of time passed and they got to a building that looked like a cake with several layers, blue and pink. Twilight stopped before it, and Dark Night stopped alongside her. "This is Carousel Boutique, Rarity's place. Let's see if she's home, I imagine you would greatly go along." In truth, Twilight planned out everything and knew precisely well that Rarity was indeed in the house and not too busy. Moreover, she knew Sweetie Belle was not, so there couldn't be any possible interruption. Unlike Dark Night however, she was able to keep the evil genius smirk off her face as two mares entered the building.

Night looked around the place. And someone who lives in such a place owns a business across several cities? She then spotted the white unicorn and went into even more confusion. Why would she work herself? Can't she just hire someone to, while focusing on things that truly matter? Making clothes is such a useless thing to do. Magic can probably do whatever she does twice faster and better.

"Rarity, are you busy? I thought I would introduce you to a new friend, if you can spare the time." The question was rhetorical, but demanding a conversation would be way too impolite.

"Oh yes, Darling. Just give me a second to finish this one!" replied Rarity, working with the sewing machine. A few seconds later, she finished and turned around. "Now, who is it you wanted to in-OH SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT'S WITH THAT MANE?? Ahh," she said, half-screaming, and then falling unconscious from the sight.

Twilight truly wished everything would go as planned, but it went as usual. Obviously, she noticed Dark Night knew nothing of mane care, but was again too polite to point that out. She let out a deep sigh.

Dark Night just stared at Rarity lying on the floor. How could this pack of idiots ever beat any villain? I can imagine Twilight beating someone, but those brainlets? Then again, they had Celestia on their side. Perhaps it is all a manipulation of hers? Perhaps she's making everyone think Twilight and the elements are a real threat, completely missing a godlike alicorn who lived more than all the ponyville's population combined. Or maybe it was Discord all along. He is the closest there is to a god. Maybe he can see the future? No. If that is true, I lost already. Then the only acceptable reality is that it isn't. But what if he can see it only to some extent...

Twilight looked at Night, who was again deep into her thoughts and easened up a little, walking over to return Rarity to a better state with a spell she knew.

Rarity opened her eyes. "Oh thank Celestia! Darling, you have no idea what a horrible dream I've just witnessed." She then turned her head to the left. "Oh my," said Rarity getting her hoof near her lobe.

"Not again," mumbled Twilight under her nose, and finally got Rarity up and no longer that overwhelmed. "So, Dark Night, this is Rarity. Rarity, this is Dark Night." She turned her head to Dark Night. "I'm sure you'll get along greatly!"

"Plea-"

Rarity interrupted Night before she could finish the word. "Darling, what happened to your mane? That simply won't do!"

Night didn't get it. All this circus, all over my mane? Is she that retarded? "Uhm?" was all she could reply. How do you even reply to this? What does she expect me to say? Agree that my mane looks like bad? That'd be wrong on several levels. "That's my style?" said Night, unsure herself. That's too inconfident. She won't buy this one.

"Well, your style surely is... extravagant," said Rarity with a slightly disgusted face.

That's a lot of letters to replace the word "shit". Who is she trying to fool with this politeness? "I don't really care all that much about it." That isn't far from truth. It's not that I don't care. It's that I look good regardless.

Rarity gasped at that. "You don't care about your manestyle? But what about fashion? How could there be a pony that does not care?" She was genuinely surprised. Her entire world meant nothing to someone else, and that's the first time in her life she met someone like that. Even Chrysalis cared about her mane.

Arguing with a smart person is hard, arguing with idiots is impossible. Spending time doing this will presumably be counterproductive and only further ruin her opinion of me. How do I get out of this situation? She looked at Twilight, who was trying to stuff in a word but failed every time in this conversation. Bingo. "Can we go now?"

"No! You're supposed to make friends with Rarity, but this is... You've just got off the wrong hoof." Twilight seemed to enjoy situation the least. She couldn't even blame Dark Night. In Twilight's view, her clone was just like a filly into a new world. Blaming that filly for not being an adult is conceptually wrong. That leaves only 1 pony responsible for the mess.

"Twilight, what's this about?" chimmed in Rarity, sensing it's not just a random visit.

Dark Night shot Twilight a glare, which got the point across. Her telling everyone I'm born from dark magic would be very bad for me. I hope she understands. Should've said this beforehand.

Twilight wasn't an idiot and knew quite well stating there's a creature born out of dark magic is not the best idea. But lying to her friends was also not the greatest idea, as practice showed. "She's a..."

"I'm learning friendship and Twilight is teaching me," said Night. This cannot be argued against. And is actually a great excuse, while doesn't even briefly show the whole situation. I just hope she doesn't press the matter further.

"Oh, why didn't you just say so, Darling? I have a perfect bonding activity for us! There are no bad hoof starts and manestyles a visit to the spa cannot fix," said Rarity, striking her own mane.

I'm certain that you'd have a different opinion if our start involved me murdering Twilight.

"Great idea! Allow me to compensate you the bits for Night." Twilight was about to take out her wallet.

"No need, darling. What generousity element would I be charging you for that? I insist you let me pay for the expenses."

It's as if you forgot to ask someone else in this room.

"I guess I'll leave you to it then. Night, I'll be there to pick you up, but in case I won't, you remember the road to the castle," said Twilight in an affirmative manner.

A few moments later Twilight was gone, while Rarity was walking to the spa with Dark Night behind her.

I wonder if it's a test. Why would Twilight want to teach me friendship, without even being near me to see the results? But how would this even teach anything? Perhaps it's all paranoia. Her peripheral vision caught something, but as she turned her head there, it was gone. Or perhaps not.

Author's Note

I wrote this chapter for at least 5 separate evenings, so I wonder if it turned out good. I already noticed how there's a huge disconnection between past me and current me, including my memory. After re-reading, I think it's alright, but I'd love to see what you people think in comments.
Still stuck between wheither I should write big(like this) or small(like the first few) chapters. I guess I'll do it by logic, aka only stopping when a chapter is enough to make some sense on it's own.