Kismesis? Is That a Pastry?
Pinkie hummed to herself as she zested a lime. The oven was preheating, her oldest sister was home from college for the summer, and all was right with her world.
The sound of a combat boot against the front door only made her perk up more. “Hi, Limestone!” she called, waving before her sister could even see her.
“Hey, Pinkie,” came the response. Even as she noted Limestone’s unsually calm tone, more cause for concern followed. “First aid kit still in the medicine cabinet?”
Several things happened in quick succession: Pinkie turned off the oven, ran to the front hall, dropped the lime on the counter, and spent a slim fraction of a second wondering about the order of things before getting a good look at Limestone and deciding it didn’t matter. “Oh my gosh, are you okay!? You look like you got jumped by a bear!”
Limestone shrugged, then winced. Given the dried blood soaked into her hair, the thin cuts along her limbs, and the tears in her tank top and cutoffs, a wince seemed to be underselling it. “More of a shark. She really liked getting bites in when she could.”
That explained the curving indents along her neck. “‘She?’” Pinkie echoed.
“On a related note, I have a date tonight.” Limestone worked her way around Pinkie, beelining for the bathroom with only a slight hitch in her step.
Pinkie followed physically, if not conversationally. “I feel like we skipped some steps. Is this what it’s like talking to me? If it is, I owe a lot of apologies…”
“Some of that may be a concussion. She also liked her headbutts.” Limestone got into the first-floor bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet, and frowned. “Why didn’t you say you moved it?”
“You never gave me a chance. Wait here." Pinkie took Limestone's arm and guided her to sit on the toilet. The lack of any resistance only made her more concerned. "Plus, I’m still stuck on ‘My sister’s getting a date with the girl who assaulted her.'”
Limestone did roll her eyes at that, a slim but welcome reassurance that Pinkie's sister was still in there. “Oh, like half your friends aren’t gay.”
“They are, which is why that isn’t the sticking point! Marble!”
Marble was also home for the summer from her time at the University's of Abyssinia's private pre-enrollment program. She rushed down the stairs, quick as her twin and ten times as quiet. “Hmm?” she said, poking her head into the bathroom. She gasped as soon as she saw Limestone.
The older Pie grinned. At least her teeth were fine. “Eh, you should see the other girl.”
“Can you get the first aid kit?” Pinkie said with a sigh. She dug through her hair with one hand as she jerked her other thumb at Limestone. “Someone needs to make sure bare-knuckle Casaneighva here doesn’t pass out.”
Marble nodded, said “Mmm,” and ducked back into the hallway.
Pinkie extracted what she was looking for and slowly moved in in front of Limestone. “Okay, follow the lollipop.”
Limestone quirked an eyebrow. “Concussion protocol?”
“Pinkie Pie style.”
That got a chuckle. “Not gonna lie, kind of surprised you know what you’re doing.”
Pinkie managed a shaky grin. “You’ve met Rainbow Dash, Limestone. You’re not my first concussion risk. Besides, Mom and Dad are on their second honeymoon, Maud’s on a date right now, and you know what state you’re in. That means I have to be the responsible one.”
“Horrifying,” said Limestone, a smile still on her own lips as her eyes tracked the all-day sucker.
“I know, right?” Pinkie moved on to the next step. “Now, how many ladyfingers am I holding up?”
“Three.”
“An’ nao?”
“Two. Can I have one?”
Pinkie swallowed, then smiled. “Sure!”
“Thanks.”
“Mmm,” said Marble, first-aid kit in tow.
“Thanks, Marble.” Pinkie exchanged the third cookie for the box, then pulled out the disinfectant and a box of bright green adhesive bandages.
"Huh," said Limestone. Pinkie noted how her pupils dilated evenly. "Is that the same box as when I graduated?"
"We haven't needed them nearly as much, silly."
“Hmm?” said Marble as she helped Limestone get up and rinse the blood out of her hair.
“I was getting there." Pinkie took Limestone's place on the toilet; there were only so many places for three young women to put themselves in a half-bath. "So who is this girl who swept you off your feet and into the pavement?”
Limestone shrugged, head still in the sink. “Never got her name. We just agreed to meet up at this one taco stand at six.”
"Mmm!"
"Nah, you two know what you're doing. I'm sure we'll have me patched up by then."
The casual confidence in Limestone's voice in reference to anyone else only made Pinkie more worried. She tried to focus on the current discussion rather than dwell on that. “Well, what does she look like?”
“Almost like your friend Twilight Twinkle’s evil sister, just with green highlights.”
“Huh." Pinkie tapped her lip as she passed Marble the disinfectant. "That sounds familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. How’d you meet?”
“Well, I was jogging in the park—”
"Mmm?"
"Of course I didn't!" Limestone cried. "I took the bus home. Wasn't even the most messed up person there. So, jogging in the park, doing my thing, when behind me I hear someone shout..."
“On your left, shitstain!”
Limestone shifted right reflexively, then picked up the pace to stay by the side of the twin-tailed brat who so casually insulted her. This was supposed to be her decompression time, away from family, from school, from all the stressors that usually had her half an inch away from screaming her head off. The last thing she needed was hassle from random strangers.
("Hey."
"I love you both, but it's me, Pinkie. What doesn't get on my nerves?"
"Yeah, fair.")
Once she caught up, she casually said, “You know, it’s funny. People don’t usually volunteer to have their jaws broken.”
The girl spared her a glance. “And yet here you are.”
"Cute."
That got a smirk Limestone longed to wipe off the nuisance's face. "Bitch, I'm adorable."
"You'll look better with a fat lip."
The smirk quirked with further amusement. "Who even says that anymore?"
Limestone's scowl deepened. Any heat in her cheeks was from exertion, never mind that she wasn't even breathing heavily. "I come from an old-fashioned family. Sue me."
That got the bitch to snort with laughter for some reason. "Oh, you think your family's old-fashioned. Try dragging a sister kicking and screaming into the nineteenth century."
Limestone quirked an eyebrow. "Try two parents."
"Oh, we're doing a race to the bottom?" The other woman's eyes all but sparkled with anticipation.
"You will be," said Limestone, cracking her knuckles.
They wove around a puttering senior citizen. "Lady, I literally live in a van down by the river," the asshole said flatly. "I'm already there. If you want to join me, that's on you."
Limestone's lips briefly quirked upwards. "Nice self-own. Want to save us both time and trip over your own feet?"
"Oh, you wish I'd make it that easy for you."
"That is why I am asking."
The other woman rolled her eyes. "Cute."
"Bitch, I'm—"
That brought the other to an abrupt halt, leaving Limestone stumbling forward a few more steps before she backed up. "Okay, okay, banter established. You going to do something about it or wha—"
At which point Limestone threw the first punch. Which, to her credit, her opponent ducked. She then sprang up with an uppercut that left Limestone backpedaling, followed by a kick to keep her from closing the space again. "If you're serious," the purple girl said, guard up, "I know a few bushes where we can duke it out without anyone interfering."
"Like cops?" Limestone risked a glance to see if her action had any unforeseen consequences. Thankfully, she'd gotten lucky thus far.
"Exactly."
"Lead the way, then."
They exchanged a nod, the purple girl taking the lead. "You know, most people back down when I start actually hitting them."
"I'm a business major," said Limestone. "Most conversations I've had for the last year have ended with me wanting to punch someone. Now I actually get to."
The other furrowed her brow. "I don't get the specifics, but I know how not being allowed to punch things feels."
"Do you have any strong feelings about AI?"
That got a few moment of silent contemplation as they reached a stand of especially thick undergrowth that would shield them from any onlookers. Finally, her guide hesitantly asked, "They should have stopped making Eliminator movies after the second one?"
Limestone shut her eyes and basked in the moment.
After a few seconds, her new best friend cleared her throat. "Are you actually crying right now?"
"I'm just... so happy," said Limestone, wiping her eyes.
"Yeah, I can tell," said the other girl. Limestone couldn't tell if she was actually disgusted or had just gone back to her resting bitch tone. Either way, she jerked a thumb towards the rest of the park. "Look, if we're not going to keep hitting each other, I'm—"
At which point Limestone threw her second punch.
Pinkie said nothing; this was far outside her own friendship experience, and she doubted Twilight's much vaunted sister-in-law-to-be could offer much either.
As she closed the container of disinfectant, Marble wasn't so restrained. "Hmm."
Limestone blushed, which made for an interesting counterpoint against the many neon green bandages. "Look, Pinkie's the social one. Besides, you haven't had to listen to dipshits insist that automated text vomit is The Future™ all year."
"Hmm?" said Marble as she led the way out of the bathroom.
"Oh, that's easy," said Pinkie, happy to chip in on familiar territory. "Like This™."
"Mmm®?"
"Close."
Limestone sighed. "You get enough self-important legacy brats trying to chat you up, you learn a thing or two whether you like it or not."
Pinkie led them into the kitchen. The lime was a little dried out, but nothing irrecoverable had happened. She started the oven again and said, "So did trying to tear each other to pieces ever actually turn into angry makeouts, or are you two just going to go fight in a Dobbin's parking lot later?"
"A proper young lady does not kiss and tell," said Limestone, arms crossed and nose in the air.
Pinkie gave that a nod. "That's what Mom says, sure. Pretty sure the only proper young lady here is Marble."
Marble blushed at that. "Mmm..."
Her sisters both perked up at the admission "Good for you!" cried Pinkie, who had moved on to sifting flour.
"If he ever hurts you, let us know." Limestone drove a fist into her palm. "I'll crush him like a grape."
"Mmm?"
Limestone looked over her outfit, wincing as she stuck a finger through one of the holes in her top. "Oh. Yeah. She really did a number on it, huh?"
"Eh, Rarity says grunge is coming back," said Pinkie, kneeling to get a better sightline as she measured out the wet ingredients. "So, round two. Fight?"
"We're not even going to a Dobbin's. Pretty sure you won't have anything to worry about there."
Pinkie bopped Limestone on the nose with a wooden spoon before she started mixing the batter. "Well at least get her name, silly. I'm sure I've met someone who looks like Twilight but mean and slightly green. I just can't think of who."
“And you never got her name?” said Adagio.
Aria rolled her eyes as best she could amid the other sirens' less than tender ministrations. At least it was a nice enough day that they could put out a folding chair for her rather than try to maneuver in the van. “I think you can agree what we did was much more important.”
“Yes," said Adagio, pulling another splinter out of Aria's knuckles, "but now we don’t know if this seductress has any siblings.”
“I’m soooo jealous," added Sonata, who was doodling with the styptic pencil again. "And you couldn’t even feed off her negativity!”
“Could still taste her." Aria grinned in anticipation. "Dinner’s gonna be great. Might start another fight there, get kicked out of Taco Rico.”
Sonata gasped, bolting up from where she was supposed to be dealing with the gash on Aria's shin. “But… but I love Taco Rico!”
“I know." Aria sneered. "And this way you won’t be able to drag me there every other day.”
“You’re the worst!”
“You are!”
“Ladies!" Adagio punctuated the shout by jabbing the tweezers between Aria's ribs, getting her to sit back down. "And I do use that term loosely. Can you at least stop being idiots long enough for me to finish putting Aria back together for this evening?”
“Fine, fine. Why does Aria always get the good nemeses?” Sonata muttered as she sulked her way into the van.
“Because you have resting cute face,” Aria called after her.
Squeaking springs announced Sonata flopping onto the couch. “Do not!”
“Stop bickering," Adagio said in her "I am actually one step from killing you" voice, "or you’re both getting an eyeful of disinfectant.”
“Fine,” chorused her siblings, basking in the ashen glow of sisterly love.
Author's Note
This was interesting; by far the most prominent characters introduced in Rainbow Rocks are the sirens, but... Well, I just don't like them in general. So I found an excuse to beat one up. This is a healthy approach to problems and should definitely be encouraged.
It turns out Dennis means "follower of Dionysius," so I considered translating Denny's to "Bubbly's" or "Manny's" (for maenads) before deciding to go for a more straightforward horse pun.
No, I have no idea who Marble's seeing, but he's presumably at Rockadia Campus.
And if you're wondering about the first word in the chapter title, it's a Homestuck reference, which is to say a very long story. Suffice to say, it's hate acting as a other side of the coin of love to the point that a relationship is founded on the kind of burning hatred that is the blackened counterpart to passionate romance. Humans normally aren't capable of that particular emotion, but Limestone is particularly gifted when it comes to the nuances of anger and spite. Sirens, on the other hand, rarely feel other forms of affection. (cf. Lachrymates.)
