Phoenix Flu

It was another dull day as a royal guard. Cannon Feather was the standard pegasus guard, with a blue mane and eyes. His cutie mark was a safety cone with two wings sprouting from it. The only thing that made him stand out was that his left wing was shorter than the right one and was a bit deformed. He just started as a royal guard watching them, dealing with the nonstop boredom of staring down a wall and wondering if anything interesting would happen. But at the same time, he was glad that nothing crazy was happening as he wanted to make a good impression. The stallion sneezed and wiped his face with his hoof as he continued his watch.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.”

He turned to his wing pony, an older grey-coated unicorn with a greying silver mane, green eyes, and a subtle beard growing around his face, and said, “I apologize, but I think I’m catching a cold. It kind of came out of nowhere.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. Maybe you should take some sick leave? You’ve been running yourself ragged since joining the guard.”

“Just trying to show that I’m useful. Make a good first impression, you know?”

“You can’t make a good first impression being sick and getting others sick too. I’ll talk to Captain Shining Armor into getting you some sick leave; he’s more reasonable than you think.”

“Okay, you’re probably right,” the stallion mumbled as he sniffled. He didn’t want to be treated like a foal the first month on the job, but Bucket had a point: He felt under the weather and could rest.

The stallion was led down, then sneezed, and without warning, he was staring upward, seeing everything seemed to be much larger than him. At first, the stallion was confused, seeing that he was now looking upward and his partner was the same size. He was petite, chubby, and looked a lot like a foal. Bucket looked around and asked, “Wh…what’s happening!?”

He looked around as their armor and spears were scattered on the ground. Cannon rose up on his chubby legs and waddled to Bucket Bridle, “Hey Bucket! I think we got turned into babies.”

“Ya think!?” the former stallion shouted, getting up and looking around his own chubby body. He looked at himself in the reflection of his helmet and grumbled, “Yeah, we got turned into babies, alright?”

Cannon blinked, surprised that his wing pony was taking this so casually, and asked, “Uh, ya not surprised?”

The colt shrugged, “Eh, crazy stuff like tis happens often here. We should go find Captain Shiny and warn him, though. But first, we need foal supplies. My wife dropped some off in the barracks while I cared for my son today.”

Cannon Stepped back and waved a hoof in front of him, “Seriously, no way!? Ya not saying we need diapers?”

“Hopefully not, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Come on!”

“Fine.”

Cannon Feather waddled after he followed Bucket Bridle to the barracks, and it was quite a trot as their smaller bodies made the trip much longer than if they were adults. However, as they approached the barracks, they looked around, seeing some soldiers fast asleep. Still, to their dismay, the former adult all were babies now nestled in their blankets, some sucking on them or their hooves.

Cannon then whispered to Bucket, “Should we wake them?”

Bucket shook his head. " In my experience, babies fast asleep should stay asleep; they’ll just cry or get cranky. Besides, we work together faster to figure out what’s going on ta better.”

They then slowly trotted through the dark room, doing their best not to make any noise. They eventually came to Bucket’s cot. He took out a diaper bag, and they dragged it out of the room. Once they were out of the barracks, the slightly older colt pulled out the supplies and two diapers.

Cannon blushed and whined, “Do we seriously gots to wear them?”

“Sorry, I'm not going to risk you making a mess. We babies, I don't know how much control we have.”

They then took turns powdering each other's flanks and then strapping themselves in fresh diapers. Cannon admired the cute blueprints of swords and shields. It was still embarrassing, though.

“We also should fill up before heading to find Shiny.” He pulled out some bottles, made some formula, and shook them using the little scoop. Cannon watched it bubble and froth and saw it steam a little. “What is that?”

“Magic formula my wife gets for our baby automatically warms up. No bottle heater is required.”

The two then took their bottles and started to suckle down the contents with Cannon, loving the smooth, slightly sweet flavor. After finishing Bucket, they put the empty bottles in the bag before going on their way.

The two colts made their way up the stairs as they both struggled quite abit in their new pudgy bodies and eventually made it to Captain Shining Armor’s office. The two guards posted there were now foals, too! Both were fast asleep around their armor and suckling on their hooves. Bucket groaned, “Hopefully, Captain Shiny didn’t get turned into a foal, too! Hurry!”

The two colts burst through the door and found it empty until a bubble shield went around them, and a tiny white-coated foal came out, “Got ya!”

Cannon fell into it and plopped back down on his padded rear as Bucekt snapped, “Come on, Shiny, it’s me, Bucket Bridle!”
“Bucket Bridel? Ya got turned into a baby, too?”

“Yeah, not just us, but a lot of royal guards are babies now.”

Shining dissipated the bubble as they turned to see him in the light. The former Captain of the guard was now a chubby little colt with little whisps of his blue mane and tail. He also still had his cutie mark, though, which Cannon checked his flank to see if he still had it. The colt then rolled his eyes, “Ugh!? So it’s just you two!?”

“Yeah, we saw your guards posted outside, and they're now babies, too. Whatever is going on, it’s spreading.”

Cannon then asked, “Do you know what’s going on?”

Shining shrugged. “I don’t have a clue. I was busy doing paperwork, then I found myself shrinking, and now I’m like this!”

He threw a hoof over his body, “We gotta find out who's doing this and stop them before they turn princesses into babies! Or worse, my marefriend finds me like this!”

Bucket nodded and said, “That would be bad. We should prioritize ensuring their safety; it’s our first priority as royal guards, babies or not.”

“Yeah, just because I am a baby doesn’t mean I am not gonna help the princesses!” Shining Armor declared.

Cannon scratched his mane and replied, “Um, you guys are forgetting something. We’re foals!? We can’t do anything, even if we get to them!”

Shining shrugged, “They’ll underestimate us, or at the very least, we can check and make sure they're okay. Ten find other guards who aren’t babies and make sure they are on alert. We can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“So…we should go to ta princesses quickly!”

“Right! I thought I saw Princess Luna heading to the kitchen.… I was too embarrassed to go to her, but we should go check on her or try to communicate with her.”

“Alright, captain Shining, you lead the way,” Bucket replied.

He then got in front of the trio and pointed a hoof forward, “Move out!” as the three ran across the hall and headed down the stairs.

The trek down the stairs took abit longer than anticipated, but the three eventually made it to the kitchen. There, they saw Princess Luna munching on some cookies. As Bucket Bridle was going to say something, Shining Armor ran to her, shouting, “Hey, Princess Lulu! We guards who got turned into babies—you need to warn your sister and help us turn back to adults!”
She looked downwards and said, “Well, look, do we have a foal here?”

Shining started to get angry, stomping his little hooves, and snapped, “What? Don’t act like you can’t understand me!”

Luna levitated him up with her magic until he was eye-level with her, chuckling, “My goodness, it’s way past your bedtime, little one, and also, you look way too young to be without what do they call them now…diapers?”

The colt kicked and cried, but she nestled him onto her back. " Do not worry, little one. I will find some foal supplies and tuck you to sleep. In the morning, I’ll go find your parents. I’ll bet one of the staff brought their foals to work and left them here. Whoever did will get quite the scolding for being so neglectful. You could get lost or hurt.”

As Luna trotted to her bedroom, Cannon whispered, “From what we saw, it seems like they can’t understand us.”

Bucket just sighed, shaking his head. “I was going to tell the captain to wait in case Princess Luna can’t understand us, but he just ran off!”

“Guess he’s gonna get babied for a while, huh?”

Bucket couldn’t help but snicker, then said, “He’s never going to live that down, but luckily, Princess Luna isn’t a baby herself, which is a good thing. Hopefully, the same is true for Princess Tia.”

Cannon blushed, seeing the captain continuing to kick and cry as he said, “We can’t do anything for him now; let’s go to Princess Tia!”

The two then came to the stairs, and at the foot, the two peered upwards as Bucket groaned with a pouty expression, " Stairs again, it was a pain crawling down them; it’s gonna be harder getting back up.”

Cannon maneuvered his body, grasping the ledge of the first step, and wiggled about until he got up, then lent a hoof. Bucket grasped his and groaned being yanked up, and then Cannon nudged his wing pony. “See, you got nothing to worry about. We're going to help each other.”

“Ok,”

The two little colts then started to climb together, coordinating their efforts, taking turns pulling each other up each step and eventually reaching the top as they ran down the halls towards Princess Celestia’s chambers.

The two colts were getting pretty exhausted, having made their way up the stairs as Bucekt whispered, “Being a foal is hard. No wonder my son sleeps after going up and down the steps back home. This is so hard for a baby.”

“Yeah, it takes so much effort to do something so simple. I can’t wait to be back to normal.”

The two colts continued their way to Princess Celestia’s chamber; the guards posted were also babies and fast asleep. Bucket sighed, “This isn’t good at all.”

Cannon was starting to get worried and asked, “Ya think we can turn back to normal?”

“The princesses know lots of strong magic, and I'm sure they’ll turn us back to normal when they realize we’re adults. We have to wake Tia, and I hope she realizes that we are her guards!”

They then went into the princess’ chamber. Lucky for them, the door was slightly ajar, so they pushed it open, revealing to their relief that Princess Celestia was fast asleep in her bed. They then heard horrible gurgling sounds. Not from the princess, they turned to see Philomena coughing and sneezing, making horrible gurgling sounds as it slept.

“It sounds like Philomeinia is sick. Can we help?”

Bucket shook his head, “No,” and added, “First of all, we babies, and even if we were adults—I don’t know anything about Phoenixes, it's best we try to wake Tia!”

The colts ran over to the bed, and then they both looked up to see the foot of the bed was a few feet higher than them. Bucket tried using his magic, but it fizzled and sparked, “Ugh, my magic is useless…any way we can get up there?”

Cannon smirked as he threw out his wings, stepped back, and said, “Can ya give me a boost?”

“Maybe abit, but I won’t be able to levitate ya up there. My horn isn't working.”

“No need, just give me abit of a lift, and I’ll fly to her.”

Cannon then ran forward as quickly as his chubby little baby legs could carry him. He then jumped and flapped as hard as he could, with Bucket grunting. He used whatever stamina he had to boost Cannon onto the bed with a little plop and crinkles from the diaper. Cannon shook himself a little, then waddled over to Celestia’s nose. His eyes were wide, seeing how big the princess was up close, her muzzle being as big as him, and her long, light rainbow mane now swirling around her. He gently came up and tapped a hoof to the mare’s face and whispered, “Tia, wake up, please.”

The princess’ eyes went wide awake as she cried, “Huh, what was that!?”

Cannon fell backward as Celestia looked somewhat confused about seeing a baby near her. She levitated him up to her face, rubbing the sleep from her eyes to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, and then said, "Oh my, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, what about me!”

She then turned to see the little grey-coated unicorn colt and picked him up as well. " Two babies!? Did somepony leave either child here?”

Princess Celestia then lifted the foals onto her back, went to Philomena, and gave her a painful expression: “Oh, Philomena, it pains me to see you like this. I do hope you get better.”

She then headed outside and saw the two other foals on the ground. Princess Celestia blinked and turned the two foals on her back, and it didn’t take long to realize she knew where they came from. “Are you all royal guards?”

The other two nodded and cried, “Yes, you're royal guards!”

Seeing she couldn't understand them, she didn’t acknowledge what they were saying and sighed, “Okay, let’s try to stay calm! First, I needed to find my sister and have her help me find every pony in the castle that had been turned into a foal. Just hold onto my mane, ok?”

The two foals did as they were asked, grasping onto the mare's long strands of hair as the mare threw out her wings and zoomed down the halls to her sister’s chambers.

“Where’s the baby? There he is!” Luna squealed, throwing out her wings from her eyes and making silly faces as the cute baby unicorn colt she found kicked and giggled. The baby was now in a plain white diaper, making his little kicks more adorable.

Luna then tucked the foal around her waist, took out a bottle of formula, and plucked it into his mouth. The colt didn’t take long to suckle down the contents as she cooed, “Such a good baby, yes, you are. After this, you’ll go right to sleep, I guarantee it.”

She then heard her sister shout, “Luna! Are you ok? Answer me!”

Luna blinked as she saw her sister suddenly burst into her chambers with two baby colts on her back. Celestia turned to her and sighed in relief. “Oh, thank, Faust. You’re not a foal.”

The alicorn let out a laugh and scoffed, “Sister, of course, I’m not a foal. Did you have a nightmare?”

She then turned to see the baby angrily bouncing up and down, pointing at the foals on Celesita’s back. " Odd, where are these foals coming from? I swear if one of the castle staff let their foals run loose, they will get more than just a scolding for being so neglectful.”

The princess gulped and said, “Sister, these foals ARE royal guards; something or somepony is turning ponies back into babies! We need to gather everyone affected immediately and ensure they’re saftey.”

Luna blinked and turned to the one she was taking care of. He nodded in agreement, pointed a hoof to his chest, and gasped, “Oh, Faust, I think you’re right.”

She then got up, placed the colt onto her back, and said, “Let’s go; there’s no time to waste!”

It took an hour of the two princesses scouring the halls of the castle and placing all of the regressed royal guards in the throne room; they found some foal supplies and set up a playpen along with some toys to keep the colts and some fillies currently awake busy. Also, about a dozen of them were cranky, and some were crying. But Luna took it upon herself to care for them and was doing her best to hush them gently, ricking them in her wings and plopping bottles or pacifiers into their mouths. After that, the two princesses created a magical barrier around the castle, and then Celestia took out a scroll with a complete listing of who was on shift or using the barracks as sleeping quarters that night. Luckily, the foals’ surprisingly still had their cutie marks. Hence, it was the best way to identify who they were before they were regressed. After ensuring they were all safe, she sighed in relief, “The good news is that we have a full accounting of every guard, and they all are safe,” she then put the scroll away then looked about among the dozen foals some fast asleep while those awake sucking down bottles of milk and added, “the bad news is that every soldier on duty has been turned into a baby.”

Luna slowly got up and gingerly stepped around the little ones and said, “Well, at least they’re safe, and that’s what matters, but how could this happen? If there was a culprit using age spells, which, from what I remember, only a pony who is well-versed in magic can perform, and to do this many would be nearly impossible unless they were an alicorn.”

“Quite right. The first suspect I had in mind was Discord. He would turn all of my guards into helpless foals for his own amusement. But Twilight and her friends just turned him into stone a month ago. It couldn't be him.”

“Then, that leaves that something caused this, some sort of magical curse or ailment.”

Celestia nodded as she tapped a hoof to her chin, thinking of anything she could remember from her studies and experience. The only thing she could think of was a poison joke, but they wouldn’t all be foals if that was the case. She stopped thinking about what caused this for now and said, “Right, can you do me a favor and watch them while I do some research? You seem to be doing well with them.”

Luna put a hoof to her chest and said with pride, “Of course, as you know, I’ve put my fair share of cranky babies back to sleep being the guardian of the night. Do not worry; they will all be sleeping soundly in no time.”

Celestia couldn’t help but smirk and teased, “Well, Nanny Luna, don’t forget you’re also in charge of diaper duty.” She lifted a diaper bag to her sister, who scoffed, showing it off. “Please, the princess of the night does not fear a few soggy diapers. Now quit stalling; go do your research. I will watch over the foals as if they were my own.”

The princess of the sun left for the royal library while Luna lay down with the babies, gingerly tucking them under spare sheets. Celestia then turned off the lights with her magic as the tip of Luna’s horn glowed, using it as a nightlight, and she continued to watch over the dozen foals seeping around her. The princess of the sun was touched by how maternal her sister was and considered that maybe she should set up ways for her to show this side to the populace. It would help ease the tensions of her being used to being Nightmare Moon and would help her sister be more gentle and not just be seen as some pony to be scared of. That was a topic to bring up another time. She’ll focus on finding a cure for her poor royal guards.

Princess Celestia spent the rest of the evening burning the midnight oil, scouring through dozens of books, from hexes to curses to strange magical plants to even superstition and unexplained phenomena. But she couldn’t find anything related to a “regression” epidemic. After raising the sun, Celestia decided to take a break to check on Philomenia. Her pet phoenix was still sick, coughing and crying sorrowfully as it seemed too weak to stand on her perch. After giving her phoenix some food, water, and medicine, it dawned on her…this all started last night when Philomena suddenly got sick. She was reaching, but could Philmoenia’s illness be the cause? She went to her bedside table and picked up a book on phoenixes she was reading before going to bed that night. She then flipped through it to a page she bookmarked and read about the disease known as “phoenix flu” and saw that if a phoenix gets sick, its rebirthing effects could cause mortal ponies to regress into foals and that alicorns are not affected; it even stated that the ponies affected luckily did not lose their memories and they did keep some faculties. She then skimmed through the book, flipping through the pages, looking for a cure, finally seeing that there was a case of it being reported as an epidemic thousands of years ago. The only cure was the princess in the tale gave her milk to the foals, and they returned back to normal.

She paused and dropped the book. Alicorn milk!? Her cheeks were red. Seeing that either she or her sister would have to….would have to… Princess Celestia shook her head, thinking she’d find a way to make it work without it being too weird. The alicorn princess then went to the throne room to check on her sister and the foals. She found Princess Luna looking somewhat exhausted but overall contemptuous of her job. She looked up and whispered, “So, did you learn anything?”

Celestia nodded and explained to her sister what she had read and the rather embarrassing cure she had discovered. Her sister’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushed red, and she squeaked, “Alicorn milk!? Are you serious!?”

The princess of the sun held up a hoof to calm her sister down and whispered, “Listen, we can find a way to make it less weird, but I know a spell that can help us lactate. I had to use it a few times. But it will take a few hours for it to take effect; until then, I’ll just care for the foals throughout the day while you get some sleep.”

Princess Luna begrudgingly nodded and said, “Okay, sister. I trust your judgment; just make it quick.”

Celestia lit her horn and sent a warm glow over them both as it finished. Luna looked back and lifted a leg to check her underside. It wasn’t much different. "It doesn’t seem it worked,” she said.

“As I said, it will take time to take effect; I also recommend drinking a glass of milk before bed to restore the calcium loss from the spell’s effect.”

Luna grumbled as she put her leg down and said, “I don’t look forward to being swollen with milk, but if it’s to help these poor guards, then it’s a small sacrifice to make.”

“Indeed, I do need to send letters to the rest of the castle staff stating that the castle will be closed today and that my assistant Quill Feather will run the kingdom as my proxy… I’ll explain that a magical disease is on the loose, and everyone currently inside has to be quarantined for a day. I’ll purposefully be vague on the details as I do not wish for anypony to know what has occurred for both us and the ponies affected. This will also give us time to administer the cure to our guards, turn them back to normal, and create a cover story as well.”

“Good idea. The fewer ponies know the truth, the better I can imagine the press ridiculing these poor guards even though none of this is their fault.”

Celestia looked downward and said, “Admittedly, this is all my fault. I should have been aware that something like this could happen with Philomena. She never gets sick other than the times she rebirths herself, but I should have read up on this story and taken precautions.”

Luna trotted over, nuzzled her sister, and said, “You did nothing wrong, dear sister, nor did Philomena. It’s just a small, silly curse that we can easily cure. Trust me, we can do this.”

Celestia couldn't help but smile at her sister, and her reassurance did help her not dwell on things. “Well, I better get to work then, and I’ll whip the babies and us some breakfast…would you mind keeping an eye on them for just abit longer?”

Princess Luna waved a hoof with a laugh, “Of course not! They’ve been wonderful and are so much easier to care for than actual foals. They barely cry, and I've only had to change a diaper here and there. I’ll keep them occupied as they wake up.”

“Thank you, sister,” Celestia said, walking towards her room to begin writing the letters. However, at the top of the stairs, she looked back at Luna lying back down with the foals, her horn aglow, and saw how she shook some baby keys and played with some of the ones waking up, keeping them engaged. The princess of the sun couldn’t help but smile and think that Luna should explore this maternal side more as she went to her room to try to mitigate any chaos quarantining the castle would create.