Call Me Dumb

by Perfect Prime

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves
Length: 3775

What happens when we call her stupid?

Almost everypony feels as if Ponyville's mailmare is a little thick, and they aren't always able to keep their insults to themselves, but how does she feel about it?

Published 2012-10-20 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-20 19:00:02 UTC

Call Me Dumb

Call Me Dumb

Today seems just like any other day. My alarm clock still doesn’t work, and I overslept again since the farm cocks are too far away to wake me. I’m going to have to rush out of the house again, or else I won’t be able to make all the deliveries in time.

“Dinky sweetie, it’s time to get up now.” I could hear a displeased moan coming from inside the bedroom.

Hastily, I folded my blanket and placed it on the side of the sofa before rushing into the bathroom and placing a pea sized sample of toothpaste on my yellow toothbrush. Then, with the disgusting yet fresh taste lingering in my mouth, I poured a glass of orange juice and dropped two slices of bread into the toaster. Before the toast was ready, I prepared a knife and an almost empty jar with a thin layer of grapefruit jam left on the bottom. I heard a dull click in the background and with the tips of my wings, I put the two slightly burnt pieces of toast onto their own plates before placing those onto the poorly made table in the centre of the room.

After I finished arranging our breakfast, I went back to the door of the bedroom and knocked on it again, this time with a little bit more force.

“Dinky, if you don’t hurry you’re going to be late!” I chimed, shaking my sore hoof from side to side.

Sitting down at the table and waiting patiently, I watched as my irritated daughter dragged herself out of her tiny, plain grey bedroom and sluggishly trot into the bathroom before brushing her teeth with the help of her magic. Soon, she came out again looking slightly more energetic and she smiled at me, hiding the crankiness behind her pearly white teeth.

“Morning!” she sang, sitting down across the table from me.

“Good morning!” I replied, lifting my glass of orange juice towards her.

She raised her glass too and after the clink of glass against glass, we drank and immediately grimaced at the overwhelming sensation in our mouths thanks to the ingenious combination of toothpaste and orange juice. Reluctant to put anything else in our mouths, Dinky and I cautiously applied the jam to the toast before taking bite after bite from the disgusting breakfast. Washing it down with that last bit of orange juice, we dropped the glasses and plates and knives in the sink before galloping out the door and locking it behind us. We ran down the stairs and found ourselves in the main part of Ponyville Post Office.

With an awkward grin, I approached the familiar mare behind the counter who scowled at me before handing me a saddlebag filled with today’s deliveries, along with a list of homes. Giving her a quick smile, I threw the bag onto my back, stuffed the list inside and ran out the door with Dinky trailing behind me. Once outside and exposed to the warm sunlight, I spread my wings and just like every other morning, I flew off into the sky, enjoying the cheers of the filly on my back. By the time I had fully descended, we heard a bell ring and after hastily pecking me on the cheek, Dinky ran through the school yard and entered the building as I waved to her. When I saw that she was inside, I stopped waving slowly and took off again, looking through the list of the homes I had to go to today. Carrot Top wasn’t on the list.

One by one, I visited the homes and if there was a mailbox then I would have stuffed the letters and packages in there. If there wasn’t, then I would have knocked on the door and hoped that somepony was inside, or I would have just dropped it through the slot in their front door for them to pick it up when they see it there. Sometimes, there’s no way for me to make a delivery, and it could be because the package is too large and because the pony isn’t home, so I either have to reschedule the delivery or I have to leave it somewhere for them to get. I don’t like it when that happens, since I’ve lost the packages on more than one occasion, and I have to pay for whatever it was that I had lost. It’s not fair though, I’ve never seen any of the other mail ponies pay a fine for losing things they should have delivered.

One house I had to drop by belonged to an old mare that used to sing in the operas. Her voice is really powerful -- I know because she’s yelled at me before for delivering her wet letters even though it was the rain’s fault. I don’t think she likes me, but I don’t know why, I only know her as one of the countless ponies I deliver mail to, and I’m sure she doesn’t even know who I am.

“Whad’ya want?” she cried as she yanked the door open right as I was about to drop the letters through the slot.

“I waf juf frying to make fure you got your letterf.”

“What?” she shrieked, turning her ear to me and raising an eyebrow. I spat the letters out of my mouth and balanced them on my wing before replying.

“I was just trying to make sure you got your letters,” I repeated, smiling at her.

“Oh, look what’cha did!” she screamed, pointing a cane at the damp envelopes on my wing. “They’re all wet now! That’s disgusting! Haven’t you ever heard of a little thing called manners? Or decency? Sweet Celestia, they’ll hire anypony won’t they? Ponies like you shouldn’t be allowed to work with ponies like me! You’re just a health hazard, what with your eyes and everything. I guess that’s why they made you a mailmare, isn’t it? You couldn’t qualify to be anything else after all!”

She started to ramble on again, and I’m not too sure what she meant. I knew the words carried some hate with them, but I didn’t have the time to worry about that, I had places I needed to be. Every time she raised her voice, I nodded a little, and every time she stopped talking, I lowered my face in shame. Eventually, she ran out of words and took the letters from me.

“Back in my day, ponies like you were locked up in their houses, not out on the streets!” she mumbled before slamming the door in my face.

The gush of air pushed into me felt nice, and when it blew my mane up, I was reminded of the feeling I had the first time I learnt how to fly. It made me happy that I had a job that involved me flying everywhere.

An hour later and I finished all of my deliveries. A few more ponies yelled at me, and a few packages needed a new delivery date, but nothing else happened. It was pretty much a normal work day, aside from the fact that Carrot Top didn’t get a letter today. Usually, when I deliver her mail, there would be a pink envelope in the bunch and she would tell me about how her boyfriend was writing to her everyday even though he was in a different country. She always looked happy when she talked to me about him, but it seems he didn't write her a letter today.

With all of my deliveries done, I returned the saddlebag to the mare behind the counter and I gave her another short smile, then I flew off again. Before Dinky finished school, I had to drop by the marketplace and buy a few groceries, so that was where I headed. Soon, I could see the colourful manes of the ponies running the stalls with all the foods I wanted to purchase. With a wide grin, I trotted up to them and asked for a bit of their produce. I bought some tomatoes, some potatoes, some apples and even some cherries. Aside from Applejack, everypony else gave me a funny look -- at least it used to be a funny look. I see it all the time now, but I still don’t like it when they scrunch up their face at me though, it makes them look really strange.

With a paper bag balanced on my head, I carried everything I purchased with me as I headed for Sugarcube Corner, but on the way, I saw somepony I knew.

“Carrot!” I cried, waving my hoof energetically at the orange mare.

She was walking with somepony and when she turned around to wave at me, the two of them stopped. As I trotted closer to them, I could see that Carrot Top was walking with a stallion, and by the time I had gotten to within hoof’s reach of Carrot, he turned to face me, and he saw me waving at him. Initially, he seemed frightened, and maybe even a bit grossed out, or at least shocked by something. My smile went away so I stared at him for a moment, but then I looked to the side and saw Carrot grinning at me, and that made me want to smile again.

“Hello Derpy!” She pulled me closer to her and hugged me.

“Wait,” started the stallion, confused. “This, is your friend Derpy?” he asked Carrot, pointing a hoof at me.

I saw Carrot blush as she pulled him aside and started whispering to him. Then, all of a sudden, she kicked him in the leg and started to shout.

“How dare you!” she screamed, eyes furious. “She is not a re-!” Carrot stopped.

She turned to look at me for a moment, then she hunched her back and talked to the stallion again. I could hear that she was whispering something to him, and I could see that he looked a little ashamed, but I couldn’t make out what it was that she was saying. I just stood there and stared at them whilst also enjoying the bright colours of the tulips, roses and azaleas to my left.

“I’m sorry about that Derpy,” apologised Carrot as she glared at the stallion. “He’s never met you before,” she explained.

“Well, he’s met me now!” I replied, extending a hoof. “Nice to meet you, my name’s Derpy, what’s your name?”

Gingerly, he raised his own hoof and just before it touched mine, he stopped it. Then, he carefully shook my hoof before rubbing his own on the floor and he slurred his response.

“Hi...” he managed, trying not to look at me.

I saw Carrot nudge him and offer me an apology through her eyes. I grinned at her again, telling her that it was okay, even though I didn’t know why she apologised to me. Then, I waved at them as I started to flap my wings. I flew off again, and with the paper bag in my hooves, I flew to Sugarcube Corner, where I had arranged to meet with the Cakes a few days ago.

“Good afternoon Derpy,” I heard Mrs Cake call out as I entered the establishment.

“Good afternoon,” I repeated.

“Did you come here for the cake?” she asked me, already bending down under the counter and looking around for something.

“Yes,” I replied, approaching her.

“Well, here it is!” she declared as she dropped a snow white cardboard box on it that had pink swirls along the edges.

“Thank you! How much did you say it would be again?”

“Twenty bits,” she told me with a smile. Sifting through my little coin bag, I extracted twenty of the golden coins and gave them to her. “Thank you for your business, please come again!” With another smile, I took the box and flew off again.

At quarter past three exactly, I arrived at the gate of Ponyville Elementary, and I stood behind one of the many bushes that were scattered along the side of the metal fence. Carefully, I put the box and the bag down inside the leaves so that nopony else would see it, and then I trotted through the school yard, watching the happy foals hugging their parents or playing with each other before heading off to their own homes, as I approached the reception. There, like every other day, I saw Dinky sitting there. She saw me come in and with a wide smile she jumped up and ran towards me. She hugged me tightly then pecked my cheek again before I placed my wing around her and we headed for the bush I landed next to.

Out in the schoolyard, there were countless other ponies meeting with their parents, exchanging kisses and going home. Some would have to wait a while before they could go home, but they would all go home eventually. As we walked on, a ball bounced along the floor in front of us. Instinctively, I bent down and lifted it with my hooves, staring at the starry pattern on the curved surface of it.

“Hey guys, look! It’s Dinky!” I heard a colt call out.

Turning my head, I saw a short, round colt pointing his hoof at me and talking to a group that had gathered around him.

“Who’s that mare with her?” asked one of them, trying not to look at me a second time.

“I think that’s her mother!” another one jeered. They erupted into laughter. I was tempted to laugh with them, even though I didn’t know what they were laughing about.

“That’s her mother?” asked another one. “Well, that explains everything!”

“What’s that supposed to mean!” cried Dinky, holding onto my hoof tightly and frowning at them.

“Well we all know that you’re the dumbest filly in the school, but we didn’t know why. Now we do.” Dinky was furious now.

“I am not stupid!” protested Dinky, stomping her hooves.

“Yes you are,” they laughed. “And with a mother like that, what do you expect?”

“My mother isn’t stupid either!” screamed Dinky, drawing the attention of all the other parents.

“Yes she is!” they replied in unison. “Just look at her! There’s no way a pony like that could be anything but stupid!”

“What’s going on here?” asked a stallion that had approached us after Dinky’s outburst.
“Oh, hi dad,” mumbled one of the foals. “Nothing’s going on here.”

His father looked up at me, and when he saw me his eyes went wide. Then, after clearing his throat, he ushered his son away and turned his back to me as he left.

“Come on,” I heard him mutter. “We don’t want to be around ponies like that.” I don’t think he remembers me.

Slowly, the group of foals dispersed as they all left to find their individual parents and I went back to staring at the starry ball in wide-eyed fascination. Through my left eye, I could see Dinky glaring at me, so I looked at her, and she had her face puffed up.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she demanded, stomping her hooves again.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you stand up for yourself?” she continued.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Argh!” she cried. “I mean: why did you just stand there and listen to them insult us like that?”

I thought for a while, but in the end, I just gave her a shrug. She groaned.

“Why can’t you understand anything I’m saying to you?” she questioned. I understood that perfectly well. “Why is it that whenever I ask you a question, you just shrug or spin your eyes? Why can’t you just give me an answer?”

I didn’t know how to reply.

“Oh, forget it!” she yelled, knocking the ball out of my hooves and kicking it away.

When I turned to face the ball, I heard faint hoofsteps behind me getting further and further away. When I picked up the ball again, I looked around for Dinky, but I couldn’t see her anywhere. At first I was really worried, then I realised that she probably just went home before me, so I calmed down. Grinning again, I kept the ball balanced on my head as I approached the bush and decided to give Dinky her cake when I met her at home, but when I got there, I was shocked to find that it wasn’t there. The cake was gone. Somepony had taken my cake and ran off with it.

I was really confused, and I wasn’t sure why anypony would steal a cake, but I didn’t know what to do. Looking in my coin bag, I saw that I didn’t have enough bits on me to buy another cake, and there wasn’t any way for me to get one for free. Sighing, I kicked a pebble on the floor and thought hard about what to do. In the end, I came up with an idea, and I thought that it might be able to cheer Dinky up. The thought of Dinky cheering up made me forget all about the cake and brought another smile to my face as I flapped my wings and flew off into the sky, heading for Sugarcube Corner again.

My living room was really dark. It was really cloudy outside, plus it was already quite late and the sun was probably about to set, so there was pretty much no sunlight in here, and the light was also off. I soon changed that. When the bulbs lit up the room turned a yellowy colour, and I saw before me the door that led into the only bedroom of my home. Raising a hoof, I knocked on it three times and this time I made sure that I didn’t hurt my hooves again.

I could hear Dinky trotting towards the door from inside, and when I heard her turn the handle, I stretched out my smile as much as I could. The door opened and I saw Dinky standing in the gap, staring at me with red eyes. She looked at my smile and then down at what I held in my hoof, and her eyes went wide.

“Happy birthday muffin!” I shouted, handing her a muffin with a candle in it.

She stared at it, shocked, and when I urged her to take it, she held out her hooves. The muffin was shaking when I gave it to her. The gentle flame at the top of the candle flickered each time the muffin tipped from side to side, and Dinky’s eyes were focussed on the flickers of light and heat. She looked really happy.

“You aren’t mad?” she asked me when her hooves had finally calmed down a little. I stared at her, confused.

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because-” she stopped and turned her face away from me. “Because I said all those mean things about you...”

“I’m not mad about that sweetie!” I told her, trying to remember what she was talking about. She stared at me, befuddled.

“But, why not?” she wondered, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve never been mad about ponies saying mean things about me.” I replied with a smile.

“But...Why not?” she asked again.

“Because it doesn’t matter. I don’t care what they say about me. They’ve always said mean things about me, and sometimes I don’t even notice it.”

“How can you say it doesn’t matter?” she moaned, turning her face away from me again. “Doesn’t it hurt you at all?”

“No, it doesn’t”

“Why not?” she demanded.

I thought for a while before answering.

“I don’t know any of them,” I told her.

“So?”

“They’re all just strangers to me. My friend’s would never say mean things about me, and neither would my family, and they’re the ones that matter.” Dinky’s eyes started to water.

A single tear trailed down the side of her face as she placed the muffin on the floor and she came up to me, pulling me towards her with her hooves and locking me in a tight embrace. Slowly, my own hooves went around her, even though I didn’t know why we were hugging. I didn’t need to know though, because I knew that hugs were always good.

“I’m sorry mom,” she whispered, hugging me harder.

“It’s OK muffin,” I replied, unsure of why she apologised to me.
“It’s not OK!” she protested softly. “I shouldn’t have said those mean things about you, I’m really sorry! You’re my mom. I love you. I’m really sorry!”

Silently, I stroked her mane and calmed her, letting her know that everything was OK.

The two of us sat there like that for a while. She held me by the neck and I supported her with mine. Together, we waited as the seconds ticked away, and I could feel something cold trickle down my back and into my feathers. Gently, I rubbed Dinky’s back and watched the small flame of the candle burn and throw a deep orange light over us. Every now and then, Dinky would sniff, like she had a cold, but I had a feeling that wasn’t the case.

“Do you want to do anything special for your birthday?” I asked, pressing my hoof against her back.

“No...It’s fine...” she mumbled. “This is fine...”

For a few more moments, we maintained the embrace, but Dinky eventually let go of me, and I let go of her when I felt her try and move away from me. She picked up the muffin and sitting down beside me, she held the baked delight in her hooves. Taking a small breath, she closed her eyes, paused for a second, and then she blew out the candle. The light was gone, but I could still see her yellow eyes.

“Did you make a wish?” I asked her?

“Yes,” she replied with a smile.

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you.” I pouted, and she chuckled. “If I tell you, it won’t come true...” she told me as she came up to me again, and wrapped her hooves around me.

Pecking me on the cheek, she placed her muzzle next to mine and I could feel her little hooves going through my mane.

“I love you mommy,” she whispered, pressing her cheek against mine.

My smile disappeared for a moment, but I felt it come back again, much stronger this time, and I tightened my grip on Dinky as I covered her with my wings and stroked her mane with my hoof.

“I love you too Dinky.”