The Very Homosexual Pony

by Nightprincessluna

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Sex, Profanity, Random, Human
Length: 1592

Hatter isn't gay. He's just mooching off the dumb human that summoned him for free food and letting them use him for sex in return. There is no way that he is a homosexual just because he lets his homie use him like a discount sex toy, right?

Hatter isn't gay. The human that summoned him is very gay, and also very lazy. Today, he has to do the human's job for him. That is not a problem though, because how hard can writing be really?

A shameless short and very gay story I wrote because I was too tired to think straight, so I thought gay instead.

Somehow featured on 08/08/2024!
(Done as part of my 10 year anniversary transformation drive! https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1046556/10-year-anniversary-transformation-drive)
Contains: Gay, lots of British, Human On talking cartoon pony and a very lot of instances of the word faggot.
(Also, I have a coffee link now if you want to support me! https://ko-fi.com/hatterthehorse )
Cover Art by Moonatik

Published 2024-08-08 23:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-08 23:00:00 UTC

On Monday He Slurped Through One Penis

“Is he dead?” The effeminate gray unicorn asked as he poked the skinny white man in the side using the handle of a straight razor. The man didn’t respond for several moments, so the unicorn trotted around him, “Oi bro. You fuckin’ dead? You want a cuppa’ tea?”

This, it seemed, got a stir out of the lanky human, who straightened up at his desk and let out a groan.
“Huh? Yeah… Tea sounds good?” The lanky creature said, still not sounding sure or completely awake. Hatter had suspected that offering the human a cup of tea would’ve gotten him up. Normally he would’ve followed it up with a joke, but instead he followed it up by jabbing him with the handle of his straight razor several more times.
“Come on you stupid fuckin’ faggot. Wake up.”

The man straightened up in his chair and rubbed the sleep from the corners of his eyes, then turned in his chair towards the pony. Hatter was still jabbing him in the side with the handle of a straight razor, held tight in the emerald green magic projected from his horn.

Hatter stopped jabbing him with the handle of the weapon once the human managed to get his eyes to focus. Before the human stood the three and a half foot tall gray pony. He had a black mane and a gray coat that somehow seemed to be an incredibly bright shade of gray. The human had often pondered just how that was possible, but then he remembered that Hatter was also a magical horse talking horse and promptly stopped caring about the finer points.

“So what do you think?” The stallion said. Unfortunately, the writer was still waking up from his sleep and it took him several moments to properly realize what he was meant to be thinking about.

Hatter was dressed like an absolute whorse. A pink rubber tank top hugged around the front of his chest, pulled so taught it looked like it might have been painful. His lips were plastered in bright green lipstick and his hooves were clad in long black rubber socks.

As the writer processed all of this, he shot straight up in his chair and almost fell out of it.
“Fuckin’ ‘ell. Why’re you dressed like that?”
“Cus’ I know you’ve been workin’ real ‘ard and you’re into all this fag shit.”
“I’m bisexual.”
“You’re Mr Fagsexual is what you are, now do you want me to suck your stupid cock or not?”

The writer stood up from his chair, straightening out his back and stretching himself, being at perfect height for his crotch to be right by Hatter’s muzzle.
“Unfortunately not. I was up late and I need that cuppa. Let me get myself straightened out first.”
Hatter smirked, “Nothing can straighten you out.”

After making his way down the stairs and switching the kettle on, the human moved into the living room and sat in his large armchair. It was meant to make him look imposing, but with how skinny his limbs were it just made him look comically small. Hatter shoved himself into the armchair next to his human friend and began to grind his chest against him.

“Comeonnn’ I’m not big on that LGBBQ stuff, but I know you love getting your dick sucked. You know I’m a pony right? You make me sick.”
The human responded by firmly shoving him down to the floor.
“Shush. I’ve only just woken up. Go finish the cups of tea.”

Hatter was clearly not impressed with this, but he let out a long sigh and strutted his way into the kitchen, showing off his flank as the human leaned back in his chair. Writing had been really hard last night, and he was going to really struggle to think of what story he was going to write today.

As he watched the gray unicorn leave, his mind began to work, gears grinding and working to try and come up with something interesting, but by the time Hatter returned with his cup of tea, he had already drifted off to sleep.

“Fuckin’…” Hatter mumbled under his breath, but he gently placed down the cup of tea next to the chair. It wasn’t like he wanted intense gay sex, it was just that his life was much worse without it. He was going to have to do all the work as per usual.

Slowly, he climbed his way up the stairs and into the human’s room. His nose twitched, there was a scent in the air he knew all too well. He made his way over to their unused bed and stuck his head under it. Score. He dragged out a pair of boxers that hadn’t found their way into the wash and pressed them into his snout, letting the masculine scent wash over his brain and make it tingle in all those wonderful ways.

Stallion… When the human woke up he was going to be really sad that his writing wasn’t done. Then he was going to do sad sex and it was going to absolutely suck. He could do something about it however.

He stared sadly down at the brightly coloured boxers before him. They had a hexagonal pattern of bright rainbow colours all over them, and a black waistband. He could just bury his muzzle in them and go for a nap himself, but he could do something.

Scrambling from under the bed, he placed the pair of boxers back down onto the floor in an almost sad fashion, then fetched himself a round ballpoint pen. It was heavy, made out of metal, and as he held it in his mouth, he found the weight almost comforting. How long had it been?

He worked the metal pen around with his tongue, then pulled up a pad of crisp white paper.

It was easy. He just pressed the pen to the paper, and the words would come out. The muscle memory returned, letters spilling out in flowing, looping copperplate text.

-

The pony was about six inches deep on the fat human dick, his throat clenching and convulsing happily as the human gripped his hand onto their ears and horn, using them like his personal sperm bank.

The pony was… Gray, with green eyes… And A Trottingham accent. But he wasn’t actually gay, he was just using the human for free tea and food. Their powerful musky scent made their mind go blank, which made it even less gay because they were in a trance for much of the sexual situation.

As for the human, they were totally a turbo faggot. They were the most homosexual person to ever walk the earth, and it was honestly pretty incredible just how hungry they were to use the pony, considering they were basically a talking animal.

Anyway where were they again? Right… So the man had his cock balls deep in the pony’s maw, their balls were smacking against his soft fuzzy chin and the pony’s throat was desperately clamping around his cock, trying to milk him for all it was worth.
It was working too, the human was gripping onto his horn even harder, arching his back and telling him what a good boy he was. That part actually felt good for the pony, but they were wearing a flat chastity cage to prevent them from getting hard to prevent it from becoming gay.

Above him, the writer was starting to groan and make all other kinds of strange faggot noises as he pounded his member into their maw. It was pretty cute, and the pony was working his tongue around to the best of his ability, although with the rough way the human was thrusting, it wasn’t exactly easy.

It was as though they were being used as little more then a cheap toy. They had been told that they were special, and with the effort the human had gone through to pull them from one reality to another, they didn’t doubt it. They were a special toy for the human, and they loved every second of it.

“Fuckin’… Good boy. Get right in there.” The human muttered. As for the pony, he was too busy trying to make the human cum, being rewarded with a tasty spurt of pre that sent their brain into overdrive.

For just a moment they pulled away and began giving the cock gentle little kisses, their green lipstick leaving marks behind that were promptly licked off with that skilful tongue. It was enough to make the human groan and sing his soft little moans.

And then the human grasped his own member firmly and began to jerk himself off. He wanted to paint Hatter’s face with his thick cum, and Hatter could hardly wait, looking up to them as he rolled his tongue out from his mouth and rolled his eyes back into a whorish expression.

The cum came in thick ropes, landing on his face and splattering over one of his eyes, which he was forced to close, before the next few splattered onto his muzzle and then his chest.

He was coated in human cum. This was… Gross, gay, and yet behind his cage he was feeling so very needy.

-

Hatter stared down at the words that he had inked onto the paper, and he could barely contain himself as he smacked both hooves into his face.
“Fuuuuuckkkk…. I’m a faggot!” He exclaimed.

Truer words had never been spoken.