Show 1: Since When Were Showbiz Assistants A Thing?
To celebrate the 30 moon anniversary of Showbiz Time Theatre multiple news outlets like Ponyville Express, CMC Press and Canterlot Catch just to name a few had come to the establishment.
The curtains were lifted to reveal one of the many iconic Showbiz Time Player’s show stages, this one called the 3 stage and was split as the name implied.
On the first platform was Twilight Sparkle dressed in her iconic tuxedo with a gold vest and red derby hat behind a massive sparkle complete with a speaker next to it. Above the speaker was a sign reading Showbiz Time Players in cursive
For this special occasion the unicorn in addition of holding a microphone in her left hand, there was a podium In front of her fixed with the news outlets microphones marked with their respective logos.
In the middle of the stage was Rarity the back up singer but more importantly tailor of the band who upgraded Twilight’s and the other members outfits. Her talent could be seen in her sparkling grey dress.
Next was Spike the dragon or DJ Multi-Flame dressed in a black hoodie with multi coloured streaks of flames, as his aliases implied he was the DJ of the band and was responsible for programming the stage’s colourful and flashing lights. His DJ booth which was fused with a futuristic like organ, which he mainly played. He wore a helmet shaped like the top of his head and headphones around his neck like a neck pillow
The final member on this platform was Applejack or AJ for short, the bass and main guitarist of the band, dressed in cowpony attire sitting atop of a apple barrel, playing a guitar who’s soundboard was designed and painted like an apple.
Rarity’s backdrop had 2 mannequins dressed in 2 alt dresses the unicorn would occasionally wear. Spike’s backdrop was a small illustration of his homeland the Dragonlands, it had a rocky surface with a few lava pools around the area. The Dragonlands had recently started their own newspaper and was one of outlets at the event. Applejack’s backdrop was a simple prop apples around her barrel suggesting a few had spilled out.
The final platform of the stage contained Pinkie Pie the baker and drummer of the band. Dressed in her baking attire. She was the most random and admittedly funniest of the group often making her band makes laugh. Twilight still remembered the days where she was somewhat stable. Her backdrop was the background of the place’s bakery known as Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight couldn’t hear the questions a few journalists were asking over the flashes of cameras of the paparazzi.
“Alright everycreature settle down!” Twilight somewhat desperately yelled into her own and fixed microphones and to her surprise it worked.
“Okay…So I’m gonna get a few things down, first of all I know this is another TV special unlike last anniversary and speaking of the last anniversary unlike that one I won’t be dragging my and the band’s rags to riches story for hours, trust me I know what it feels like to watch a long boring interview. This time though I’ll be keep the story short and sweet.”
A music cue was heard
A round of applause from the restaurant patrons, journalists, and paparazzi along with a few camera flashes from the latter.
“Encore anyone?” AJ asked
“Encore don’t you mean entree!” Pinkie Pie pulled a banana cream pie seemingly out of nowhere and is about to throw it only for a backstage hand to take it.
“Remember that cupcake incident. We can’t afford another lawsuit!” This was Starlight Glimmer the band’s lawyer, a unicorn dressed in a purple suit who had a slight history of corruption and participating in questionable and unorthodox methods to try to win cases, like when she cuffed herself to a table stating that she wouldn’t leave until she won the case.
It ended with the case being pushed back, due to security and firefighters having to cut the cuff’s chain off and pry the cuff itself open due to Starlight jamming the lock with melted cheese.
“Welp there’s one gag off the list.” Twilight muttered pulling out and hiding her notepad of gags under the news podium and crossing the pie off. Immediately after a pie covered in crystals aid thrown at the unicorn but gets blocked at the last second by a glass barrier, the pie slides down and surprisingly the glass the left stainless.
“Told you this stain and smudge proof glass was good investment.” This was Sunset Shimmer the band’s bodyguard or as the band preferred agent or assistant she was dressed in your typical bodyguard suit.
She walked backstage to put the glass barrier away. Just like with Starlight, Sunset had a history of being a bit rough when it came to taking down threats but the past is not today
“Boo!” A red dragon journalist says going to throw another pie only to get punched and then dragged out by Sunset, which lead into a awkward silence.
“Ignoring my kind’s intervention wanna continue with this encore?” Multi-Flame spoke up.
“Alright fine let me think…I got it with all the news outlets here why don’t we talk about some hard hitting news!” This is followed up by a backstage hand clearly Starlight’s lightly bonking the unicorn with a gavel on the head.
“Ow! Get away!” She pushes the hand and gavel away making the audience laugh a bit “Oh I got one, science proves clouds aren’t fluffy!”
“Good one Pinkie!” Twilight compliments before expanding on the idea “We’ve always associated clouds with fluffiness and cuddles but science proves falling through one especially at high speeds feels like falling through a pit of pop rocks!”
“Pop Rocks? I love Pop Rocks I use them in my famous cracking gemstones!”
“Famous? Pinkie you call all your baked treats famous.” AJ points out “Oh come on AJ I can’t pick a favourite dessert so what makes you think I can pick a favourite recipe!”
“Fair enough.”
“Back on topic!” Twi interjects
“Why don’t we talk about something more sophisticated like fashion have you seen the fashion at the Grand Fashion Gala?” Rarity asks
“You saw that one pony dressed like a disco ball it was hilarious!” Applejack commented topping her comment off with a laugh
“Or that teddy bear outfit.” Pinkie added
“Pretty sure the Gala had a theme this time which no one followed hence the disco ball, teddy bear and other strange design choices.” Rarity explained
“That reminds me I just purchased a new special effect!” Unfortunately for Multi-Flame the band knew the dragon’s had a bad history of trying to add new effect to his Dj Booth.
He seems to press a button on the booth with starts lowering a disco ball down only for the string to snap sending the special effect down and shatter once it hits the platform emitting laughter from the audience.
“You’re so predictable DJ Multi-Flame.” Twilight commented
“Oh yeah if I’m so predictable what am I gonna say next?”
“You’re gonna say nope I wasn’t gonna say that.” AJ predicted
“Nope I wasn’t gonna say-oh come on!”
“Good one AJ!” Twi complimented
“Do you know what I’m gonna say next?” Pinkie challenged
“Yes…But I wish you wouldn’t.”
“What is that suppose to mean?”
“How about we give the audience a turn to talk about their own hard hitting news.” This once again is followed by another bonk from Starlight’s gavel to Twilight’s head resulting in more laughter.
“I got one!” A Ponyville Express journalist said raising their hand “Chessy Slice’s famous Recycled Pizza scandal debunked!”
“Since when did creature believe they were using leftover slices?” AJ immediately questioned as the journalist handed Twilight the headline “Oh it says here the uneven pieces are a result of using plastic pizza cutters in place of metal ones.”
“Guess that what happens when the company you work for is greedy.” Pinkie giggled
“Oh perhaps it was safety precautions or budget cuts.” Rarity added
“Nice Reasoning Rarity!” AJ compimented
A dragon journalist without even saying anything walks up to Multi-Flame and hands him a newspaper.
“Cool! Check it out all of you Dragonlands Dig finally switched to paper.”
“That’s nice but what’s the hard hitting news?” Twilight quickly covers her head and looks around only for her chest to be bonked by the gavel.
“I’m not kidding that’s quite literally the headline.” The DJ shows the unicorn the headline reading what he had just said
“Still have all those news slabs.” The dragon added on reaching into a drawer under the booth and pulling out a stone slab with word carved into it
“Welp that just about does it for interviews, but don’t go just yet all your journalist and new outlets were having a special 30th anniversary sale, 30 tokens for only 7 bits. That’s The Magic Of Showbiz!” Twilight’s slogan is followed by a final round of applause and camera flashes as the curtains are lowered on all 3 stage platforms, the paparazzi snapping a few more photos.
“There’s another show down!” Twilight announced as she along with the rest of the band walked to the backstage break room.
“Nice performance all of you!” Sunset congratulated only to spot a red dot pointed at Twilight’s head
“WATCH OUT!” The sun unicorn tackles the other unicorn “Ow Sunset what the hay?”
“So this is what a laser pointer is?” It’s revealed that it was just Spike said playing with the latter object.
“Oh sorry I thought you were being aimed at.” Sunset explained before getting off the show pony and walking off.
“Careful with that Spike don’t blind yourself.” Rarity warned
“I’m looking for a Sparkle, is there a Sparkle here?”
“Hey you’re Twilight Sparkle right?” A pony the latter had never seen before it was a pink pegasus mare with a curly teal mane topped with a white bow. She wore a white suit complete with a purple necklace with a gold badge in the middle displaying Showbiz Time logo.
“Do I know you?” The unicorn immediately questioned
“Of course you do I’m Cozy Glow your uh…Showbiz Assistant!”
“Doesn’t that sound suspicious to you?” Applejack reasoned
“Pretty sure she just getting used to her rank.” Twilight grumbled “What do you need Cozy?”
“Just need you to sign this contract it’s for permission to repair an old arcade game in storage.” The latter pony hands the other pony the clipboard she was holding
“You mean Buzzy Buzzy Bees completely forgot about that game of course!” The show pony grabs the pen off the clipboard and goes to sign only to be stopped by AJ.
“Shouldn’t you read it at least? I got a bad feeling about this Twi?”
“Come on Applejack I’m sure it’s fine and plus no one ever reads terms and services?”
“Aren’t you a bit young to have this kind of job?” Twilight asked Cozy as she was signing the contract “Looks of opportunities for ponies like me in the last few moons.”
“Alright there you are Showbiz Assistant.” As soon as Twilight hands the pegasus the signed contract only for Cozy to start laughing almost evilly.
“Like I said weird.” Twily grumbled to AJ
“No there you go Twilight Sparkle off my property and out the door, guess what? Not only are Showbiz Assistants not a thing the contract you just signed wasn’t to repair an old arcade game in storage. You just sold me you your entire company that I’ve heard you’ve owned for the last 30 moons, for 7 arcade tokens.” Cozy Glow continues to laugh as she hands the devastated Twilight the cup of 7 fake gold tokens
“You tricked me!”
“Knew you wouldn’t read the terms and service no one ever does get ready to have all you Showbiz magic drained! Now get out before I call my bodyguard and lawyer!”
“I have a bodyguard and lawyer too!”
“But I have the signed contract and if you violate it, I’ll sue you! Final warning!”
“Hey Twilight, Pinkie told me that she likes freshly baked cookies with a side of cooked bacon. Why are cookies called cookies if you bake them and why is bacon called bacon if you cook them.
“Not now Spike! Come on everyone.” Twilight sighed
“Alright I’ve got a small cheese pizza and a pan pizza with a side of mozzarella sticks and marinara sauce for dipping just for you!” Pinkie hands the food to her male client client “How about a tip I recommend 25%”
“Seriously? I’m not tipping someone for just delivering? What are you gonna do? List me as a rude customer?”
“I’m thinking…THIS!” She goes to grab to the food back into to accidentally squeeze one of the marinara sauces getting the dip all over her.
“Hah! Take that tipping culture!” The client said before closing the door
***
“Spike I think the guests are complaining about the pool’s quality.” A lifeguard informed the dragon
“On it!” The dragon walked over to the pool’s maintenance panel where he starts spam pressing the temperature button, which results in screams “Sounds like thrill screams to me.”
***
“Hi welcome to-“
“Remember the accent Rarity!” Her manger reminded her, she changes to a semi-southern accent “Hi welcome to-“
“All the way! Terms and all!”
“Howdy y’all welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!”
***
“When I said I was pet friendly I didn’t mean this!” Applejack was backed up towards her driver seat window and door as her customer was bringing a snake with them into the car.
“Come on it doesn’t bite!”
“It doesn’t know me it could panic and bite me!”
***
Twilight now dressed in casual clothing with a messy mane and tired face walked up the final stair steps to reach a friend’s door
“Name and busin- Oh it’s just you Twilight didn’t recognize you at first. What happened to your tuxedo? Don’t you typically wear it when you come visit?” A butter yellow pegasus with a pink mane clearly a bodyguard asked
“This is just suppose to represent my current mental state, plus I don’t feel at home in my own home I need to stay with someone for a few days or maybe a few moons?” The unicorn explained topped with a sniffle.
“Come in Twilight.” Despite being a bodyguard Fluttershy was a very comforting and kind pony and only acted tough when she needed to.
“What’s going on? Twilight?” Another peagsus this one being cyan with a rainbow mane asked as Twilight slumped down onto her couch.
This was Rainbow Dash aka the Wonderbolt, by the time the band had met her she was already famous in her community but when she was given the chance to increase her fame she joined the band as a guest star replacing Applejack when electric guitar was needed. Her record label often gave small funds to Showbiz Time Inc but the only exception being when the latter was on the verge on bankruptcy luckily since then Showbiz Inc has being doing fine.
“I’m was tricked by a pony nearly half my age into selling my company to her for 7 game token.” Twilight explained before groaning into a pillow to so her frustration.
“Did you-“
“Yes we used them all before we left.”
“Where are the others?”
“They all went to find new jobs. I feel like I’ve failed them, they’re all gonna stop talking to me cause I ruined they’re big breaks.”
“Come on Twi you gotta remember, friends are best when they’re together, the friendship circle never ends and even if you do lose them you can always make new friends but you should only resort to that if you have no other option, you said it yourself Twilight.
(Jasper is Rainbow Dash instead of Applejack and Twilight is only on microphone)
“You know Rainbow I guess you’re right, I’m gonna get my friends back but first I wanna see what that Cozy Gloom did with my establishment.”
“You can start by checking out the PorchRush page.” Fluttershy said opening her phone and logging onto the app.
“Oh yeah forgot that was still a thing.” The PorchDash service was one of the things that brought Showbiz to near bankruptcy. Speaking of bankruptcy the reviews seemed bankrupt worthy all of them being 1 star.
“My muffins were exploded. My pretzels weren’t even pretzel shaped. The bread wasn’t even baked alright I’ve read enough and Cozy didn’t even bother to change the name.” Twilight complained handing Fluttershy her phone back.
“Good luck hope you get your Showbiz magic back!”
“Thanks Wonderbolt!”
It was made pretty clear that this Cozy Glow didn’t know about the PorchDash page or advertising at all as the Showbiz Time Theatre building looked vandalized. Cardboard covered the original title now reading Sandbar’s Baking Place, an exact mirror of the original title.
This Sandbar creature was an earth pony crudely drawn on another piece of car board above the title.
“Guess this Comfy Glint isn’t the mascot of this place.” Twilight thought as she entered the establishment, barely anything changed about the decor besides a few more vandalized art and posters.
The stage was completely gone and was replaced with 5 different areas, the first was a small skate park the mascot being the Sandbar pony dressed like a skater, who she assumed was her replacement .
The second was a pirate ship, mascot being ablue griffon, eyepatch on his left eye and right hook claw. Considering the theme she saw this as AJ replacement.
The next area seem to be a fusion of a mountain and coral field the mascot of this area was a pink hippogriff wearing a dress of fish scales which Twilight saw as Rarity's replacement.
The next area was an old fashioned almost medieval kitchen which reeked of burnt and uncooked baked goods or baked bads in this case. The mascot was a random female yak. Which she assumed was responsible of the terribly made food and was Pinkie’s replacement.
The final area wasn’t even a area per say more like a pyrotechnic booth as for who was operation it was this random orange dragoness clearly uncomfortable in her safety equipment.
“Wait a minute you’re blacklisted from here!” Twilight turns around to find a grey female pony with a teal mane clearly a bodyguard. She didn’t even get a chance to react before getting grabbed by the bodyguard.
“So how do you like the changes?” Cozy Glow asked slightly scaring Twilight “Just be lucky you didn’t try to sabotage anything cause that would’ve count as violation of contract.”
“You tricked me into signing it! What kind of lawyer do you have?!” Twilight demanded futility struggling against the bodyguard’s grip.
“Oh right.” Cozy was handed the signed contract by a blue changeling wearing reading glasses and dressed in a pink suit
“You signed the contract you violate it I sue you.” Cozy explained
“You know Twilight Sparkle this has been too easy, how about a challenge! I give you 24 hours to get your band back together, next is a battle of the bands between the Showbiz Time Players and the Bake A Flame Explosion trademarked of course! Those record labels will pay me and Bake A Flame big time to see us wipe the floor with the Showbiz Time Players.”
“Your band couldn’t even play outside a school concert if you tried.” Twilight countered
“Fine wanna raise the stakes I’ll let the audience decide and to add onto that If you win the contract becomes null and void, and you get the record label money but if we win we keep your company, take the payment and you all have to work here on minimum wage.”
“Do we have a deal?” Cozy asked as her changeling lawyer handed her another contract.
“Deal!” The bodyguard released one of Twilight’s hands allowing the unicorn to sign the contract, before casually throwing the unicorn out the door where she landed face first on a thrown out pie.
She licked some of the blueberry jam only to immediately spit it out “UGH WHY DID I TASTE THAT! Think there was some mold.”
Back At Rainbow’s Apartment
12 hours had gone by and Twilight hadn’t even made a attempt to contact her friends instead being under a large mountain of used balled up tissues and empty tissue boxes.
“Come on Twi you can’t give up that easily.” Rainbow reasoned
“Especially not right after your company’s 30th moon anniversary.” Fluttershy added showing the show pony the new images of the vandalized looking building and even more 1 star reviews. Both peagsi have been trying to inspire Twilight for the last hour in hopes of getting her off the couch.
The PorchDash page seem to have been the final push.
“Okay I’ve seen enough, how long do I have?” The unicorn asked
“12 hours!” Wonderbolt informed
“Guess I’ll go get my band back together.” She wiped her nose and tried fixing her somehow more messed up mane before just covering it with her bowler hat.
***
Speaking of PorchDash Pinkie Pie was currently working as a delivery driver for the app. Dressed in casual clothing and drving up to a familiar looking house.
“PorchDash delivery! I’ve got 2 orders of cracking rocks, along with a side of pop rocks and a small Popping Pop! Oh hiya Twily I didn’t know you liked the Rock Sugar Cave!”
“That the thing I don’t I want you to come back to Showbiz!”
“We can’t! After you sold the company I thought I would go back to my original job as a rock farmer but with a modern twist, in Ponyville and with better pay.”
“Look Pinkie, Cozy Glue gave me the opportunity to get the company back with a Battle Of The Bands and her cocky attitude thinks her school talent show cringe worthy band can bet our experience show business band and even if we lose, the band will get back together for one last performance.”
“So do you still want the food? How about a tip I recommend 25%”
“PINKIE!”
“Alright fine let go find our friends. Think I heard what career plans they landed on.”
***
“Pretty sure Spike said something about some kind of job at a public pool I bet it was a lifeguard.” Pinkie informed as they neared the 5th public pool is far.
Spike stood outside a public pool when he is approached by his 2 former band members “Spike were getting the band back together think you can quit this job.”
“Oh don’t worry about that Twilight I already lost this job?”
“Really how? What was even your job?” Pinkie asked
“Simple it was a pool technician I thought the ponies might like it if I turned up the heat like dragon do. I was immediately fire.”
“I really got to teach you more ways pony do activities.”
“It’s a dragon thing.”
***
“Pinkie why are we at Sweet Apple Acres?” Spike asked as they walked into the orchard “I’m pretty sure Rarity was interested in a position at this apple farm.
Rarity dressed like an apple farmer knocked the last apple off the tree where it landed in the basket below, before sliding down the ladder.
“Hey Rarity-“ Twilight started
“Why howdy y’all welcome to Sweet Apple-“ she started in her best southern accent
“You can drop the act Rarity.” Spike interrupted Rarity letting out a sigh of relief “Oh thank you Spike I hated this job from the start the accent made it 10 times worse.”
***
“Alright where to?” AJ asked as she stretched her fingers on the steering wheel, she had become a taxi driver as working on her family’s apple orchard didn’t pay and cause she would often pick up hitchhikers.
The country pony adjusts her mirror only to find her 4 now former members “Okay…fancy seeing you 4 again now where to?”
“Think you can drop use off at Sandbar’s Baking Place and then quit this job?”
“What for?”
“Battle Of The Bands to get our company back.”
“Who’s our competition?”
“A school talent show band.”
“Sounds fine.” AJ responded as she started driving leading into an awkward silence “Hey Rarity guess you took that position at my family’s orchard.”
“I hated it! The accent made it worse!”
“Hey AJ Cozy Grew replaced you with a pirate griffon and all the cow pony decor was vandalized to a pirate theme.” Twilight informed
“Seriously? It’ll always be a cowpony’s life for me even away from home. Haven’t seen someone disrespect my legacy ever since that Applelosa incident.
“I honesty liked the bison’s depiction of a Cowpony!” Pinkie commented
“Of course you do!” Applejack muttered rolling her eyes
***
“That was an incredible performance! We’ll beat those Showbiz Time Players no doubt about it! That is if they even show up.” Cozy Glow said to Sandbar and the rest of the replacement band
“In your dreams that is!” Twilight and her band called out, all dressed in their respective Showbiz outfits,. They started approaching the pegasus only to be slightly pushed back by one of the bodyguard’s hands.
“Well look who decided to show up and you made it by 1 minute.”
“Wow did I really procrastinate for that long.” Twilight thought
“Ready to get wiped across the floor?
“Hey wasn’t your eyepatch on your left eye, and hook on your right.” As soon as Twilight points this out the griffon squawks, quickly but stupidly switches his accessories right in front of everycreature revealing the hook and eyepatch to be fake.
“Bet he doesn’t even have an authentic pirate accent.” AJ whispers to Twi
“Looks like you’re up!” Cozy Glow informs the main band
“Come on everyone let’s show that rip off band. Once the Showbiz Time Players got on stage they realized it was a rebuilt 3 stage only missing the Showbiz branding like Twilight’s sparkle being replaced with a massive gold stars. The cursive Showbiz Time Players sign, the backdrops and props were all removed
The band quickly find out that not only had Bake A Flame have used all their instruments, the machine determining the victor called the Clap O Meter with an arrow was just barely pointing to them.
“Let’s do a song we all know…” Twilight whispered to her friends
The Clap O Meter goes to the end of Showbiz Time Player’s side.
“Won by a landslide!” The Showbiz Time Players bowed before going backstage where they run into Cozy Glow whose face turned red full of anger.
“FINE! KEEP YOU’RE DUMB SHOWBIZ TIME THEATRE! I NEVER WANTED IT ANYWAYS! MATTER OF FACT YOU CAN HAVE MY COMPANY’S ASSETS!” She seems to calm down a little
“Come on everycreature.” As Cozy leads her band and crew away she back tosses Twilight the contract the unicorn had signed and a new contract with the pegasus own signature.
“Guess we can now use skating, pirate, pyrotechnics, yak and aquatic life themes in our shows.” Rarity commented
“I’ll order new arcade games based on these themes and looks like we can rehire Starlight and Sunset.” Twilight declared as she ripped the contract she had signed
“Welp! Guess we learned something today.” AJ prompted
“2 group of creatures are better than 6?” Spike prompted
“I guess and that never trust someone you’ve never seen before.” AJ self answered
“That’s definitely the last we’ve seen of Cozy Glow.”
“Her band and crew that is!” Pinkie added resulting in an awkward silence which is broken by laughter.
“Hey Twilight your still haven’t answered my question about bacon and cookies.”
“Oh yeah surprised you remembered that. Bacon and cookies are called what they are beacuse…Oh that’s actually a quite confusing muscling musing.” Twilight pondered
Author's Note
Fun Fact: January/Winter 2015 show tape was the last Rockstar show tape, with an actual plot or acts as they’re called by the wiki (they’ve made 2 new ones but those don’t play in stores)
If you don’t understand the mirror thing Showbiz Time Theatre has a Showbiz first name but Chuck E last name while Sandbar’s Baking Place has a Chuck E first name and Showbiz last name
