The Expedition

by Timzocker201

Two Germans in a Forest

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It was a chilly, foggy morning in the Everfree, when Straßenbauer awoke. The dug-out firepit sizzled its last hisses, as the fire now slowly neared the end of its resources. However, that was not the only thing he heard in the otherwise silent ambience.

He opened his eyes. His rifle was still where he left it: resting with him in his sleeping bag, ready to be used in case of uninvited guests. He grabbed it and slowly opened his sleeping bag and its rain cover, before he rose into a sitting position and scanned his surroundings for the source of the noise.

Eisenhans was sitting on the stump they had used as a 'chair' for the one on watch. He sat slightly hunched over, with his back turned towards Straßenbauer and was audibly and visibly struggling with something.

Straßenbauer squinted at his comrade, wondering what he was doing, but ultimately was unable to see anything from his position. He thus pulled up his pants and donned his shirt, before climbing out of his sleeping bag entirely. The rustling of this had apparently alerted Eisenhans, who was now looking over his shoulder, with a strained face and a somewhat uncomfortable smile.

"[Ah, Straßenbauer. Finally awake, I see.]" Eisenhans greeted. "[And just in time. I... might need your help.]" He said, before turning around and holding up one barrel of the MG3 in one hand, while his other was holding his cleaning chain, that was coming out of the front of the barrel. He gave the chain a few quick tugs, showing that it was well and truly stuck.

Straßenbauer gave Eisenhans a look that was half way between impressed and confused.
"[How'd you manage that?]" he asked, as he came over to have a look himself.

"[Well...]" Eisenhans started, as he handed the barrel over to Straßenbauer, who gave it a thorough look. "[I had the thought that our cleaning supplies are rather limited, so I thought I could save some cleaning threads by using my handkerchief on the larger calibre.]"

"[And so you attached it to your chain, started pulling and remembered a bit too late that the barrel is conic.]" Straßenbauer finished, while giving the chain a few testing tugs, himself.

"[Pretty much, yes.]" Eisenhans confirmed with a nod.

"[Have you tried using a stick to push it back out?]" Straßenbauer asked, to which Eisenhans nodded, albeit more in a 'duh' kinda way.

"[Yes, of course.]" He said. "[But there's no stick around here, that's both thin and stable enough to do the job. Especially since the chain's still in the way.]" He explained.

"[What about the rear end? Tried pulling it out that way?]" Straßenbauer asked further, but was again met with a nod from Eisenhans.

"[Yes. It's just barely out of reach.]" He said with a slightly annoyed look.

A look that Straßenbauer shared, as he sighed. "[Of course it is. Why can't things ever be easy?]"
He juggled the barrel lightly in his hand, as he thought. However, coming up empty, there was only one option left that he saw.

"[Well... All that's left now is brute force and praying that the chain doesn't snap.]" He said, as he handed Eisenhans the barrel and pulled the chain taut. Then, on the count of three, both men pulled on their respective side, trying to force the handkerchief through the barrel with their combined strength.

At first, it seemed like it was a fruitless endeavor, but slowly, the chain started moving. The handkerchief started sliding, squeezing through the way-too-tight barrel, one inch after another, before, after a few minutes of pulling, it finally popped free. As a result, all tension was suddenly lost on both ends, resulting in the pulling force of both men now turning against their previous users.

Eisenhans caught the impulse reasonably well, only staggering backwards a few steps. Straßenbauer, however, had already been standing more tilted than the tower of Pisa and thus suddenly found himself quite painfully seated on the ground. Once the initial surprise had passed, he gave the chain a once-over and determined it to miraculously be okay, for now. He then freed the handkerchief from the chain and gave that a look as well.

The cloth itself seemed reasonably okay, showing only minimal signs of wear. The surface of the cloth, and particularly the print on it, however, were now completely covered by several dark grease marks that drew themselves along the length of the cloth.

"[I mean... at least it should be pretty clean now.]" Straßenbauer said, while handing the dirty handkerchief to Eisenhans.

"[Peh, you know full-well that the armory-guys would still find something somewhere.]" Eisenhans chuckled.

"[True... I still think that they just never clean their fingers. How else would they still find so much grease in that very spot that I've been cleaning for the past hour or so?]" Straßenbauer whined jokingly, as he got up and patted the dirt off of his uniform. "[Anyways, we should probably pack up and start moving now.]"

"[Already on it.]" Eisenhans said, already working to take down his half-tent.

"[I still don't get, why you set up your tent in the first place.]" Straßenbauer half-complained, while he donned the rest of his uniform. "[I mean, we were just gonna sleep here for a single night, so why bother?]"

"[I wanted to do things properly. That's why.]" Eisenhans stated, while untying the ropes from his tent pegs.

"[Ah yes, doing things properly...]" Straßenbauer sassed, now fully clothed. He then went over to his sleeping bag, which he just put on the ground without any other measures taken - except removing a few sticks that were poking his back. He held the bag up, freed it of as much dirt, as possible and then started cramming it back into its sack, making sure to pause regularly and squeeze the air back out. Finally, once the sleeping bag was in its sack, he pulled the straps tight to, again, force all the air out and make the sack as small as possible, before reattaching it to his backpack.

Now done packing up, Straßenbauer turned to his friend, who only now got to work on the poles and was definitely taking his time doing so.

"[Seriously? You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?]" Straßenbauer complained, but Eisenhans only turned to him with a sly grin.

"[Sound discipline, my friend.]" He said, which apparently made Straßebauer absolutely lose it.

"[Wha- Sound disci-?!]" He stammered incredulously. "[My brother in christ, we were just talking in a normal tone, after audibly struggling with that barrel. Last night, we accidentally created a light beacon, because this world's wood apparently burns WAY better than ours and all that on top of our little run-in with the manticore yesterday. I think, we're WELL past the point of sound discipline.]"

"[Doesn't mean, we have to stay loud.]" Eisenhans argued. "[After all, there might still be a hostile force trying to hunt us down, that somehow missed all the other noise, we've been making.]"

"[Really?]" Straßenbauer asked. "[Honestly, I think if there was a hostile force out here, they'd long since finished the job. I mean, seriously, we're just two blokes wandering through an unknown forest. If someone really wanted us dead, they would've just led us into a trap by now, or ambushed us during the night.]" He stated. "[Actually, being loud might be better for now, since loud noises tend to deter wildlife, before they can even get an appetite.]"

Hearing him say this, Eisenhans looked over to Straßenbauer for a moment, then back at the two pole segments he was holding in his hands... and then chuckled.

"[You know, for just a moment, I had the thought of signalling an ABC-Attack, just to spite you.]" He said through his chuckle, but Straßenbauer didn't seem all that amused.

He deadpanned at Eisenhans, in a pose that said 'Seriously?' and groaned. "[If I was a sarge, I'd have you wear your gas mask the entire day for that.]"

"[But you aren't~]" Eisenhans sang, to which Straßenbauer groaned some more.

He dragged his hand once across his face and sighed. "[Just... please get on with it.]" He said, before busying himself with closing the firepit.

Eisenhans, meanwhile, got to back to work on his tent. He disassembled the poles, stowed them into their bag, then neatly folded the tarp and put that into its bag as well. Once everything was stowed, he got to work on his sleeping bag, the same way Straßenbauer did and stowed everything away.

Once their campsite was completely dismantled, both donned their gear, gave the site a last once-over and then took off into roughly the same direction they'd been going the day before.

"[You know, at least you didn't dig a sleeping pit. That would've taken the cake.]" Straßenbauer commented off-handedly, to which Eisenhans answered him with a shit-eating grin:

"[Actually, I was thinking about that at first.]"

"[Oh no, please don't.]" Straßenbauer whined.


It was still early in the morning, when Spike woke up. The sun had barely risen over the treetops of the Everfree and the birds were just about to start their song. He had to hurry. Twilight would wake up soon and Spike prided himself with always having breakfast ready by the time Twilight came down.

He swung himself out of his bed and made his way down the crystal floors, into the kitchen, where he prepared Twilight's favourite: Pancakes.
Once they were just right, he stacked them atop one another and covered them in syrup, before carefully carrying the prepared plate over to Twilight's seat.

Then he waited. And waited. Then waited some more. Normally, Twilight would be awake by now, but there have already been plenty of days, where she overslept. No matter. As her #1 Assistant, it was also Spike's duty to make sure she got out on time. Thus, he went back up and gently knocked on Twilight's bedroom door. When no answer came, he carefully pushed it open, looked through... and saw Twilight's bed completely untouched.

Spike sighed. He knew, what this meant. It wasn't the first time that Twilight had pulled an all-nighter and for some reason, she had been really fixated on these sounds she heard in the Everfree. He went back down, where he saw that the basement door was slightly ajar and light was shining through it. He opened it completely and stepped through, before descending the stairs into Twilight's lab.

A multitude of machines was humming quietly, a few dials and control lights blinking rythmically, when Spike entered the lab.

There she was. Half sitting and half lying on her desk, her head resting on her front hooves and droll lightly dripping from the corner of her mouth. Twilight had yet again fallen asleep during her research.

"Twilight, wake up! It's morning!" Spike said gently, while he shook her awake.

"Wha... Spike? What time is it?" Twilight asked groggily, to which Spike replied:

"Uhh... 7:30-ish?"

Suddenly, Twilight seemed wide-awake and jumped from her chair, shoving Spike off his feet in doing so.

"Oh dear Celestia, I overslept the test results!" She squeaked, as she quickly ran to one of her many machines and took an already printed datasheet from it. Said Datasheet showed a table with a range of strange words, each of which had a number assigned to them. Most likely these were concentrations or frequencies or whatever, and the according number was the respective scale.

"AHA!" Twilight said triumphantly, after scanning the results a few times. "There are some remnants of a spike in the mana flux!"

"What do I have to do with the mana flux?" Spike questioned, only now recovering from Twilight's shove just earlier and still being a bit dazed.

"Haha, very funny." Twilight said unamused. "I mean that something powerful must've either drawn or released a massive amount of mana. Which one exactly is as of yet unclear. However, what is definitely clear is that something happened."

Spike deadpanned at her. "So... you slept in the lab, just to confirm that something happened, as if that wasn't already clear from the beginning."

Twilight fumbled a bit, seemingly wanting to argue against him, but ultimately could only smile sheepishly and give an equally sheepish answer.

"Ummm... Yes? Well, I will get clearer results, once I run a few more tests, but..."

Spike sighed. In moments like these, he really seriously questioned his sister's sanity... and thus, by extension, also his own.

"Nevermind. Breakfast is ready. We should go eat." Spike said, as he turned to make his way back up the stairs.

"Yeah, I could really use a bite now." Twilight admitted. "What did you--" She wanted to ask, just when Spike opened the door to her lab and the smell reached her.

"Oooooooh, pancakes!" She squee'd and quickly ascended stairs, nearly toppling Spike a second time.


Meanwhile in the Everfree Forest, Straßenbauer and Eisenhans had stopped for a short rest - not because they were tired, but because they happened upon a small creek and decided to top off their supplies.

They managed to each empty a bottle by filling the remaining contents into their canteens and other bottles and were now going to refill them... or rather, Straßenbauer was. Since it was Eisenhans's turn on the MG, he was also the one keeping watch now.

While his friend scanned their surroundings for anything that might be off, Straßenbauer went over to the creek with both bottles under one arm, and his opened MRE in the other. He then knelt down next to the creek and opened one of the bottles, over which he then draped a handkerchief - his own, not Eisenhans's. Just to be certain, he folded the handkerchief once, to create a makeshift double-layered filter mesh that should filter out most larger and medium-sized particles.

He attached the cloth with two rubber bands he carried and then submerged the bottle with the opening pointing downstream to reduce the risk of the current pushing dirt through the filter.

It took a moment for the water to make its way through the cloth, but eventually, the bottle started slowly filling up. Once it was at capacity, he took it out, removed the cloth and then took a purification pill from his MRE, which he then dropped into the bottle.

He closed the bottle and let the pill work its magic. Meanwhile, he took his handkerchief and scanned it for any larger particles that might still be stuck in the mesh and which would have to be removed before the next use. Seeing none, he attached the filter onto the second bottle, but used a different spot on the cloth, just to be safe.

After repeating the same procedure with the second bottle, as he did with the first, he now had two bottles with purified water. It was certainly not going to taste good, but it would keep them alive.

As Straßenbauer packed up and went back to Eisenhans to give him his bottle, he came to think about how lucky it was for them to just stumble upon a creek here in the middle of nowhere... though, perhaps luck wasn't as involved as one might think at first.

After all, who in their right mind would build a castle without a water supply?

The castle in question - or its ruins, rather - stood a few hundred metres away from them, where the creek snaked down a small slope and through a ravine, over which a bridge led to the castle's entrance. Eisenhans had chosen the edge of said slope for his watch, not for any tactical reason, but simply because it afforded him a clear view over the ruins.

"[Some watchpost you are, looking at ruins, instead of actually covering.]" Straßenbauer complained jokingly, while handing Eisenhans his bottle.

"[Guilty as accused.]" Eisenhans answered. "[Though, I mean...]" He said, before turning around and pointing at the castle. "[You can't really blame me for taking in the view, can you? Castle ruins in a forest, makes ya feel right at home, doesn't it?]"

"[True enough, I suppose.]" Straßenbauer conceded, while donning his gear. He then stood up next to Eisenhans and joined him in his sightseeing for a few moments, before turning to him and asking: "[Are you thinking the same thing as I am?]"

"[Absolutely.]" Answered Eisenhans, before they both turned around and went back onto the path they had found earlier, that steered them well clear of the ruins, all while singing:

"♫Fuck this shit, I'm out! Mhmmmm, Fuck this shit, I'm out! No thanks!♫"

After all, coming from a country that's filled with ruins of all kinds, they knew full-well that animals liked to seek shelter within those. Seeing their previous encounter with said animals, they would rather not push their luck.


An hour later, Eisenhans and Straßenbauer were still following said path, which now led them up along the side of a mountain and gave them a good overview of the forest, up to the castle they had seen earlier.

They took a moment to take in the sight and listen to the ambience. It sounded peaceful, as if the monstrum they had encountered the day before, was naught but a hallucination.

"[You know, with the forest looking so peaceful, it's hard to believe, what kinds of creatures seem to live in there.]" Eisenhans commented, to which the forest itself seemingly answered, as a hydra shoved its heads through the canopy in the distance, throwing a manticore up with it and ripping it in half, before wandering off to a place unseen.

Both soldiers stood wide-eyed and stared silently at the display, before Straßenbauer turned to Eisenhans:

"[I was about to say: Don't say that! The spirit of the forest is listening and it doesn't like being challenged.]"

"[The spirit of the forest, huh?]" Eisenhans echoed incredulously. "[Do you really believe in things like that?]"

In response, Straßenbauer gave him a pointed look and indicated to where they'd just seen the hydra pop out of the canopy.

"[Fair enough.]" Eisenhans conceded, before pondering for a moment and looking at Straßenbauer with a scheming smirk.

"[You know, I'm actually kinda glad that we haven't found an obvious indicator towards the shortest path to civilisation yet.]" He said.

Suddenly, they felt the mountain rumble, as a landslide sent several small rocks down the mountain only a few metres in front of them... followed by a massive boulder that firmly lodged itself onto the path, blocking it completely. Eisenhans and Straßenbauer looked at it with wide eyes for a few moments, before the latter sighed and turned around.

"[Alright, this either means that the spirit of the forest is now properly pissed off, or that we've been going the wrong way this entire time and honestly, I don't want to think about either.]" Straßenbauer sighed, as he took the MG from Eisenhans and took point on their return trip.

"Same." Eisenhans agreed.


Another hour later, they found themselves back at the creek and the castle. This time without filling up their bottles, seeing as they still had plenty. However, that didn't stop them from taking in the view one last time.

"[Ah yes, beautiful castle ruins. The half-caved halls, the crumbling walls, the partially collapsed towers...]" Straßenbauer mused aloud. "[...makes me really wanna blow it all up. Sadly, we didn't pack any Explosives.]"

Eisenhans slowly turned to his friend with a very questioning look. "[Have you spontaneously joined Al-Qaeda while I wasn't looking, or why have you suddenly gotten a taste for bombing towers?]" He questioned.

"[It's not just the towers, it's the whole thing!]" Straßenbauer defended. "[It's just that, whoever demolished this place has done a really shoddy job at it and that's bugging me. Y'know, like... like how you get, when someone doesn't space the wires on a barbed wire fence properly and you just wanna go in and fix it yourself.]"

Eisenhans had to admit that he knew exactly what he meant, but that didn't mean that he had to concede.
"[So you're saying that you want to demolish this potentially historical site, simply because of a case of explosive-OCD?]" He pointed out.

Straßenbauer paused a moment and then nodded. "[Pretty much, yes.]"

A few moments passed between the two, where Eisenhans was just looking at his friend with a tilted head and a raised eyebrow. Ultimately, he couldn't quite keep his face straight though and started to smirk, as he marched off again.

"[Let's just keep moving, before you find a way to fashion a bomb out of some flowers.]" He chuckled, as he took point again.

"[Ooooh, do you think, some of these plants here might be explosive?]" Straßenbauer asked, with a bit more glee than a sane person should.


Inventory Check
Ammo:
569 rounds 7.62x51

586 rounds 5.56x45 (total)

Food Rations
2MREs (3d left)
2 opened MREs (1d left)

4x 1.5l Water Bottle (2l mineral water, 3l purified water total)

2x 1l Canteen (empty)


Author's Note

I feel like Twilight came out a bit too childish... Meh, I'll just call 4D Character design and fix it in the coming chapters... or not, we'll see. :rainbowwild:

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