Chapters Everfree Salad
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Look around the forest for a big tree. The trunk is like a light brown with a bunch of ridges in it. No fruit, no scent, no nothing but a bunch of dew on the trunk. Usually about fifteen feet tall? Yeah, not a big tree, but that’s what makes them easy to spot. They’re called Dadan Trees. Just grab the leaves off of it and put them into a bowl if you have one. If not, just start eating. They’re bland and tasteless, but they’re edible and more nutritious than they look.
Next, look around for some bamboo. It’s not REALLY bamboo, but real bamboo isn’t in the Everfree Forest. If you think you found some bamboo, you actually found an Everfree Stalk. Just pluck it from the ground, break it into pieces, and throw it into your bowl. Or, again, just eat it. Tons of fiber in those things.
Now that you have your bowl full of leaves and stalks, your salad is done. Chow down, champ. You’ve successfully survived another day.
Editor's note: Rewrite Dash’s entire section.
Apples
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I can promise you that apples grown at Sweet Apple Acres are only of the highest quality!
Anyway, if you don’t have access to Equestria’s premier apple farm and their delicious and affordable produce, you can forage for your own in the Everfree Forest. They’re not everywhere, but they’re also not too hard to find. Heck, once I started poking around, I found one growing next to a pond after all of thirty seconds. Just grab one of those little bundles of joy and chow down.
Mind you, Everfree apples don’t hold a candle to an apple grown at Sweet Apple Acres, but they’ll get you through. An apple is an apple is an apple. It’s as simple as that!
Editor’s note: Remove blatant advertising.
Twinkle Tea
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Recipe: nightmare for those of us with more refined tastes. However, that is no excuse to live in squalor! A fine lady and/or gentlecolt knows how to carry themselves in even the most dire of situations, and what better way is there to maintain your composure (and your sanity) than with a nice cup of tea?
The first thing you will want to acquire is a cup of water. As any true tea enthusiast would know, the size of the cup is vital to how you are presenting yourself, but I suppose if you’re foraging for tea in the Everfree Forest your options may be limited. Too much or too little tea is better than no tea, and that is true in any scenario.
Of course, you also want that water to be clean and drinkable. If you have a unicorn nearby or are one yourself, you’re in luck! You probably already know the water purification spell. It’s almost trivially simple to perform, but if you don’t already know it, you can likely find it in any given spellbook. If there are no unicorns present, you will need to rely on old-fashioned methods of ensuring that your water is safe to drink.
Methods that a lady such as myself is not privy to.
Regardless, once your cup of water has been procured, you will want to find a single Twinkle Leaf. Naturally, these can be found on Twinkle Trees, which are jet-black beasts of plants that tower over their neighbors. If you gaze upon them at night, the bugs that live in their bark shine and twinkle like stars in the sky. It’s a gorgeous sight, though I don’t recommend getting too close when those bugs are out. They might be pretty to look at, but they are truly nasty vermin.
With the leaf in hoof, all that is left to do is to place the leaf in your cup of water, place it over a heat source such as a fire or even a simple warming spell centered on your horn, and wait about ten minutes. After that time has passed, you may remove the leaf and enjoy your fresh cup of tea. You’ll know you did it correctly if the fragrance is something you could simply die for.
Though, fair warning, the flavor will leave much to be desired.
Editor’s note: Add addendum detailing water purification techniques.
Roasted Mushroom Skewers
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Even when one of your camping friends asks everypony to catalog their recipes in the middle of the forest.
A personal favorite of mine is roasted mushroom skewers. Not only are they very easy to make, they’re delicious, they’re dense in calories, and they can be prepared in a number of different ways to suit your tastes!
To begin, all you need is a campfire and a nice, long stick to serve as your skewer. Just be sure not to grab any of the Everfree’s thirty-seven different species of stick bug by accident! Once your skewer is ready and you’ve safely set up your campfire, it’s time to hunt for mushrooms! There are three kinds that are both safe and can be found reliably throughout the forest.
First are Warble Mushrooms. You can find these growing near shady areas, like next to rock faces or under bushes. Their caps are a bright purple with yellow spots. I know that sounds dangerous, but don’t worry! They’re completely safe for consumption. While they have the least flavor of the mushroom types, they’re also the largest and the most dense in calories, so they’ll fill you up quickly. Think of them like the cornerstone of the skewer!
Second are Tomoe Mushrooms. These little shrooms look like perfect spheres, and they’re a light tan. You can find these growing off of logs and near the bottoms of tree trunks. Be careful while handling them! While they’re harmless, they’re packed full of sticky juice! The juice is very tasty, but you’ll want to save it for later in the preparation.
Finally, Yinka Mushrooms should be handled with the most care. These ones grow in sunny areas and are easily identifiable by their bright red caps. Do not eat those caps! The stalk is the part you want to eat, and they’re more than thick enough to serve our purposes. The caps, while technically not dangerous, have strong hallucinogenic properties. That’s not exactly the sort of thing I’d suggest eating in the middle of the Everfree Forest, though my friend Tree Hugger practically swallows them whole, so perhaps not everypony is affected by them in the same way?
Once you have your mushrooms, stick your skewer through them. How many you add and in which order is up to both you and the length of your skewer, but I recommend adding the Tomoe Mushrooms last. The juice will squirt out when you do so. A lot. However, that juice will then coat the rest of the skewer and the other mushrooms, bringing the flavor with it!
After that, just hold the skewer over the fire for as long as you’d like. I’d personally recommend about three minutes, though you might need less if the mushrooms catch on fire. In my experience, the Yinka stalks get burned very easily compared to the Warbles and especially the Tomoes, but how roasted you want the mushrooms to be is a matter of taste. Don’t be afraid to experiment!
Editor’s note: Include photographs of mushrooms for ease of understanding.
Bog Apple Remedy
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First and foremost, you’re going to want a cup of purified water. If you do not have any with you, feel free to read the attached addendums detailing water purification. Place this cup of water over an open flame and leave it there; you will want to bring the water to a boil, and doing so while searching for the rest of your ingredients will save you time. Don’t forget, the sooner the remedy is done, the sooner you or your friend(s) can start feeling better.
The three things you are hunting for are Gumble Bushes, Shu, and Yinka Mushrooms. Gumble Bushes can grow to be about three feet tall, and they can be identified by their red and blue berries. Some bushes have red berries and some bushes have blue berries, but only Gumble Bushes have both . Once you find one, grab an equal amount of both colors of berry. You’ll want enough to make 2 teaspoons of juice after crushing them, which will most likely be about four of each berry.
Shu is a dew-like substance that only appears on the trunks of Dadan Trees. You can find it during most hours of the day, but it’s easiest to find in the morning. You will want to collect a tablespoon of it. While I’m sure this sounds daunting, pressing a hoof against the ridges of the Dadan Tree’s trunk will cause large amounts of Shu to squirt out from underneath, making it easy to collect into a bottle or whatever other container you might have on hoof.
Finally, Yinka Mushrooms grow in sunny areas and are easily identifiable by their bright red caps. You only need the cap and you only need one, so it shouldn’t take very long to find. Just be sure to take great care while handling it.
Once your ingredients have been obtained and measured out, add them one at a time to the boiling water. After doing so, remove the water from your heat source and begin stirring. You will want to stir for thirty minutes. If you are the one afflicted by bog apple poisoning, this will likely be a painful process. You will know that the remedy is complete when the liquid turns a bright yellow. This transformation happens fast, so be sure to pay attention while stirring. At this point, it should be cool enough to consume. Remove what is left of the Yinka Mushroom’s cap and have the afflicted individual consume the entire cup’s contents.
The effects of the remedy should be felt within about three minutes. The pain should subside, the headache should fade, and the nausea should lighten up. All in all, the remedy allows a pony to be back on their hooves in no time.
Warning: Severe hallucinations are a known side effect of the remedy.
Canned Camping Food
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First, take the cans out of your mane. It’s an abso-incredi-lutely great place to store your camping supplies! Then, you’ll want to-
Editor’s note: Never let Pinkie Pie “lose” your camping supplies.
Author's Note
This was a fun writing exercise.
As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!
