Cadance Wants To Have KIDS

by MarieJustLeft

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Shining Armor
Length: 1171

Cadance and Shining Armor discuss the next step in their relationship. A communication breakdown ensues.

Cadance and Shining Armor discuss the next step in their relationship. A communication breakdown ensues.

CW: Toxic Relationships!

Takes place before Flurry Heart is in the picture.

Published 2024-08-13 12:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-13 12:30:00 UTC

A Walking Red Flag

Now is definitely the right time, Cadance thought to herself. From the balcony, she had been watching the military parade down below march through the courtyard. The silver sun was shimmering off their plate armor, and they moved with such precise synchronicity that from a distance they seemed to all be part of one larger creature. Nearby, tour groups sauntered through the gardens, marveling at the great crystal spires.

Cadance had only come to rule the Empire a little under a year ago, and while she could not deny she enjoyed the responsibility she had to all these ponies, to protect them and serve them and defend them ... there was another kind of responsibility she desired, one she wanted more than anything in her entire life.

She left the balcony to find Shining Armor in their living room inside, polishing his spear. He loves that spear more than me, she thought sometimes.

Cadance sat beside him, setting her purse down and glancing at the door to see if anypony was lingering out in the hall.

“Hey, Shining,” came Cadance.

“Yeah Cady?” he replied, lifting his gaze.

“Have you given any more thought to that … conversation we had the other day?” Cadance asked, sheepishly.

Shining gave her a puzzled look.

“What conversation?”

“....The we’re not getting any younger, we’re both good financially, maybe we want to start thinking about bringing a baby into the world conversation?”

“Oh,” Shining said, sitting up on the sofa, turning to face her. He glanced to his left, shaking his head, struggling to cough up a response.

“It doesn’t have to be right now,” Cadance qualified, gesturing in the air with her hooves, “But…I would like to know at some point.”

Shining adjusted himself on the cushions, uneasily.

“Right. Cadance…”

“It’s just….always been something important to me…Being a mom, so…”

Shining took one last glance to his left, before nodding his head, firmly.

“Alright. Let’s do it,” Shining said.

“Oh?”

“Let’s have a baby,” he said, grinning in disbelief at himself.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve thought about it too, and like, truly deep down I….I think I’m ready, like I’ve always wanted to be a dad,” Shining said, “Let’s do this.”

“That makes me so happy,” Cadance smiled, laughing for a moment as she tried to maintain her composure, “This…OK! We’re gonna have a baby!”

“We’re gonna have a baby!” Shining repeated, throwing his hoof up in the air.

“What do we do now?”

“Now we uh…We start trying,” Shining answered, eyeing the bedroom nearby.

“OK…Right now?”

“No time like the present,” Shining grinned, and Cadance grinned right back.

“Oh," Cadance said, "And if we need to go the donation route we can just use my friend Rush.”

Shining’s grin faded off his face.

Cadance’s smile curled up along her cheeks, resting her head in her hooves against the sofa cushions.

“....Uh. What?”

“I’m just saying if we need to go the artificial way, we can use my friend Rush. That’s all I’m saying,” Cadance said, innocently.

Shining glanced at the ground, struggling to piece together meaning from her words.

“Who....Who is Rush?”

“Rush Rampart. From the palace guard? He’s just a friend.”

“OK…Right,” Shining said, “Um…”

“So,” Cadance interjected, “Should we start trying?”

“No, uh,” Shining said, raising a hoof towards her.

“What?”

“Let’s put a pause on this. Why are we talking about your friend Rush?” Shining asked, as pleasantly as he could manage.

“Just in case something happens,” Cadance elaborated.

“But we like, haven’t even tried yet, so,” Shining scoffed.

“I’m just saying,” Cadance said, impatiently, “If something happened, Rush is an option.”

“But what does that mean? What’s gonna happen?” Shining demanded.

“That’s just me. I just think ahead. You know? I plan. It’s nothing, it’s just how I am, y’know?” Cadance said.

“OK…” Shining said, swiveling his head to the side, glancing again at the ground.

“OK, let’s start trying,” Cadance grinned.

“Wait. Let me just see him,” Shining said against his better judgment, shutting his eyes, “Let me see him.”

“Oh? He’s just like, a regular stallion,” Cadance said, fumbling around in her purse for a reference photograph.

“You carry a photo of him in your purse?” Shining stammered.

“It’s of all the royal guards, relax. They protect us, it’s good to know their faces. Rush is around a lot, you’ve seen him before, I know you have. Here. That’s Rush there,” Cadance said.

Cadance raised the photograph up for Shining to see. He took a great deep breath, his eyes locked onto the photograph.

“That’s Rush?” he said, through a rasped exhale.

“That’s Rush,” Cadance said, facing the photograph back towards her.

“That-” Shining began.

“Yeah, just your average stallion,” Cadance shrugged.

“That….That is not an average stallion, Cadance,” Shining challenged, raising his voice, “That’s a model.”

“Rush?” Cadance laughed, “...Are you kidding? Shining be serious.”

She held the photograph in front of Shining’s face, watching him as dry rage bled out with each breath.

“Well he used to model but he like, doesn't anymore,” Cadance said, dismissively.

“So he’s literally a model? He used to model?” Shining yelled.

“He’s just an option,” Cadance insisted, “That’s all I’m saying, OK?”

Shining shook his head.

“Cadance…” Shining began, speaking softly now, glancing around the room first to make sure nopony was nearby to listen in, “Cadance I don’t have erectile dysfunction, if that’s what you think.”

“What? No! This is not that at all! What are you-? Shining, where is this coming from?” Cadance stammered.

Shining stared at her, his mouth ajar.

“It’s coming from you talking about Rush for the past ten minutes!” Shining said.

“Look, that’s…Oh, OK, yeah, I see what’s going on. I totally get it,” Cadance said, “So, we’ll just skip all of this, and we’ll just start with Rush.”

“What?”

“And then if something happens, we’ll go to you!” Cadance said.

“NO! No, reverse the order! I’m going first if we’re-...No, we’re not doing this! But if we were, I-” Shining roared, struggling to find any words, “...I’m first.”

“Great!” Cadance chirped.

“OK? OK?” Shining said, aggressively.

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” Cadance grinned.

“I get to go first,” Shining insisted.

“So let’s try tonight, and if nothing happens by tomorrow, we’ll call Rush!” Cadance smiled.

Shining turned his head back towards Cadance. His eyes were wide with shock, and his mouth had dropped down to the floor.

“Have you even-? You haven’t even met Rush,” Cadance figured. Shining was staring at her with a blank, empty expression on his face. The light had gone out from his eyes. “You’d really like him. I bet if you met him you’d think, oh, he’s like a big brother.”

Shining’s lips were quivering with rage.

“A big brother. Like a big brother to you. Like, you’d be his little brother. Rush has got your back,” Cadance said, smiling ear to ear, “And we’ve got Rush.”

Shining blinked a few times, speechless, while Cadance kept on grinning.

“We’re gonna have a baby!”