Falling with Style

Chapters

The Gambler
Dirty Laundry
Ring Of Fire

The Gambler

Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak!

The sound of the wooden-framed playground swing reverberated like clockwork across the dew-draped schoolyard playground, where only a few of the single-room classrooms students decided to haunt this Saturday morning. A herd of rowdy colts chased at eachother aimlessly as a small group of foals worked on a three-poster board for a science project; all the while, Scootaloo was focusing on her breathing as she tried to get the most height she could out of a single swing.

‘A baby bird might faceplant into the mud 1000 times before raising itself with a single flap.’ Scootaloo thought to herself, inhaling when she swung backwards, exhaling when she swung forwards. The wind combing through her fur in both directions felt right, those precious few seconds of wind in her wings the purest joy the young pegasus could feel in life. She whispered to herself- “Pegasi rule the sky! Until I get my Cutie Mark, the clouds are my destiny!” She affirmed herself, leaning back as she reached the back-facing apex of her swing. Leaning forward, the swing creaked as she stuck her wings out in preparation to let go. “NOW!”

She flapped her wings with all her might, arching her back in the air and unable to keep from clenching her eyes shut. She thought to herself with a grin- ‘I-I’m doing it! I’m doing-’

THUNK!
Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak!

With her face planted firmly in the dewey grass, she lay flat and soundlessly in front of the still-creaking swingset, barely having made it a few feet. Planting her forehooves down at her sides, she had to push to peel her face off the dirty ground. “Ptoo!” She spit out a few blades of grass she’d accidently closed her mouth on, rubbing the dirt off her face and shaking her head to splash droplets of dew around. Like clockwork, she felt her hooves all around her cheeks and face, applying pressure in various key spots. “No bruising. That’s nice, at least.” ‘Count your blessings, Scoots. Count your-’

“Kya-hahahahaaaa!”
“Snrk, Bahhaaahhaaa!”

‘Slight correction- bruised ego.’ She thought to herself, hearing the bratty laughter which became a staple of her nightmares ringing out from behind her. “Come on- can’t I have one day?” She asked, more annoyed than humiliated as she stood up, turning around to meet their smug grins with a flat expression. “What’ll it be today? Blank flank, or chicken?” Diamond Tiara scoffed at her, Silver Spoon huffing and crossing her arms immediately after.

“Blank-flank, please-” DT said snarkily, swiping her hoof dismissively- “And considering the fact that you still can’t fly, I’m gonna call you chicken, too.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, standing tall even as her bully took a step forward, jabbing a hoof forward and hovering it over her chest; glaring at eachother, DT growled- “But seeing that you won’t step back- I can’t call you chicken for that. That was a compliment, by the way.” Scoots could only chuckle with a slight shake of her head and a grin.

“Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are grounded this weekend, Tiara.” she said, pointing her hoof right back at her scowling bully. “If I slapped you silly in front of them, they’d run right to Cheerilee or their sisters; do you think anypony else on this playground would snitch on me?” She asked with a smarmy tone, causing DT to huff with a smirk after a few seconds, neither one of them backing down.

“If you were gonna do somethin’ about me, you’d have done it already.” She smirked, pointing her hoof over to Silver Spoon for a hoof-bump. “Where do you get the nerve, thinking you can bluff me?” She half-shrugged- “I can stand here all day, Chickenwing. Your move.” After a few moments, she almost felt a little shocked when the pegasi’s grin didn’t even falter.

“You’re right- I won’t hit you today. But maybe it’ll be tomorrow? Or the next day?” Scootaloo shrugged, causing DT to roll her eyes and huff. “Just like what you saw- I’ll probably keep falling off the swings over and over, until the day where I jump off and don’t land on my face.” She affirmed, getting an incredulous look from her bully as she affirmed- “I’ll be soaring through the air on my own two wings… all the while your four hooves stay firmly planted in the ground. Who’ll be more like a chicken then, huh?” She crossed her arms defiantly as her bullies considered her words momentarily.

The bullies turned to face each other slowly before bursting out into laughter, the two falling over as they clutched their sides. DT snorted and spoke up- “Snrrrrk, did the chicken hit her head so much she forgot what type of bird she was?” Scootaloo huffed indignantly, rolling her eyes and stomping her hoof into the ground.

“What’s it gonna take for you two to quit with that stupid insult!?” She asked, giving the pink filly a devious idea. “It hurt at first, but now it’s just annoying!” She scowled at DT as she stood up, locking eyes with a grin as Silver Spoon recollected herself.

“Fine. We’ll leave you alone so you can keep slamming your muzzle into the dirt until your face goes flat like a pug.” She said sarcastically, poking Scootaloo in the chest- “But I’ll make you a bet; you won’t be able to learn to fly before sundown today.” the pegasus blinked in confusion, rolling her eyes until what DT said next made her heart skip a beat. “If you don’t, Silver Spoon and I are gonna tie you down and tar and feather you in front of everypony else in our class.” She leaned in menacingly, whispering in Scootaloo’s ear- “You don’t have a choice, my friend; these are the terms, and you accept them as I set them.” Scootaloo felt a hoof shove her chest, pushing her back onto her flanks as the two fillies slowly walked away laughing. “Come on, Silver Spoon! We have shopping to do!”

WIth an indignant huff, Scootaloo stormed off, intent on thinking of a plan of action. Leaving in the opposite direction, she turned her neck back to yell- “If I win, you two shave your manes!” She yelled back, causing them to turn back with expressions of faux-horror. “YEAH! LAUGH IT U-Ouufh!”

She slammed into a fencepost the second she turned her head forward, falling into her back with a piece of paper stuck to her face. She responded to her bullie’s amplified laughter with a sigh, peeling the sheet of paper off her face and taking a look at what she literally ran into.

Her eyes widened when she realized what she was holding in her hooves, rolling off her back and standing up with a defiant grin. “Perfect!” She yelled as she dashed off, tucking the Help Wanted poster under her wing.

—

SLAM! “TRIXIEEEE! I’M HERE FOR THE JOB OFFER!”

Scootaloo slammed the door to the small wagon-home open, causing its sole resident to pause mid-breath. “Trixie has no clue where this paraphernalia came from, officer!” She said, instinctually hiding her oddly shaped drinking glass which looked exactly like the one Rainbow Dash kept under her coffee table. The unicorn held a hoof to her chest momentarily to calm herself down, turning around and clearing her throat. “Oh, it’s… I don’t know who you are. Ohh, Trixie thought she was done for…” She muttered to herself, readjusting her starry cape and donning her hat on the way to the door. “What can the Great and Powerful Trrrrixieee!!!” She stood proud as she introduced herself, cape flowing in an imaginary wind that made Scootaloo feel mildly impressed. “... do for you today?” She asked, causing the filly to momentarily forget her goal.

“Yeah, I gotta ask- what’re those weird drinking glasses for? Rainbow Dash has one, but she won’t tell me!” She asked, causing Trixie to sweat and avert her gaze nervously. “It’s pointlessly tall, and they all have that weird bulb at the bottom with the stick pointing out the side!” Trixie’s stuttering and murmuring made the pegasus remember- she had a task at hand! “Nevermind! You need an assistant before you have to cancel today’s show, and I need help with something; let’s talk terms." The filly leaned against the doorframe with a grin, causing Trixie to chuckle.

“Terms? Filly, the hourly rate is at the bottom of the poster. If you want the job, you gotta accept the terms.” Trixie explained with a huff, crossing her arms in defiance. “Come back with a union- then we’ll discuss collective bargaining.” Even as the unicorn went to shut the door, the filly grinned.

“Collective bargaining? Honey, your entire pool of willing assistants is standing right here.” Trixie paused, stopping to consider the sassy filly’s words. “I’m the collective, and you’re gonna bargain with me if you don’t feel like being a solo act today; I am the Union.” taken aback, the blue unicorn took a step back and crossed her arms with a huff. “And yes, I have been binge-reading Filly Hayffa disappearance conspiracy theories for the past two weeks. That’s not the point.” Scootaloo finally invited herself in, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat on a wooden milk-crate.

Trixie huffed, taking a seat atop the mini-fridge at the end of her bed. “Fine. Trixie agrees- the show must go on. I can tell by your persistence that you must be here with some specific terms?” She asked sarcastically, able to see the fact that her new prospective assistant… was a talentless blank-flank. “Where is your Cutie Mark? You are applying for a skilled job with no resume!” The filly just looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Skilled job? Last time I watched one of your snooze-fests, Snips and Snails were your assistants!” She pointed her hoof at the mare, whose response was interrupted by a follow-up question by the filly. “Speaking of which, they didn’t show up to school this week ‘cuz they were in the hospital. You know anything about that?” The mare panicked, blurting out-

“N-no, Trixie had nothing to do with that!” She sighed, reasserting eye contact and clacking her hooves together- “Look, just tell me what you’re good at and we’ll go from there!” She pointed back at Scootaloo, who beamed a prideful grin.

“I’m good at flying- or rather, trying to fly!” She said, hopping off the milkcrate and spreading her tiny wings. “In other words, I’m good at falling; in other words, I do stunts!” She stepped forward and pointed her hoof authoritatively- “Falling with Style! That’s how I’ll learn to fly; in the meantime, you and I put on a magical stuntshow that’ll keep their hearts pumping!” Impressed by the girl's show of determined gumption, Trixie leaned forward in interest while resting her elbow on her bed frame. “And I want half of the proceeds!” Trixie huffed indignantly,

“If Trixie had a drink in her mouth, she would have spat it out!” Crossing her hooves, she outraged at the unflinching filly- “Half!? Are you out of your mind? Filly, I have bills to pay here! And rent, and I’m saving up to buy a ring for Starlight! Not to mention food, water, electricity, we-medicine.” After that slip of the tongue, she pouted and stuck her nose up. “Ten percent, since Trixie will be using her talents to sway and swoon the crowd into giving us their money!”

The filly sat down and crossed her arms. “You live in a trailer in unincorporated forestland. Even I know this is technically squatting… or something.” Trixie hung her head, knowing the filly was right. “Do you even pay taxe-”

“FINE!” Trixie huffed, “Trixie relents; if those are your terms, we have preparations to make. SPREAD THE WORD!” she declared, hopping off the fridge and striking a heroic pose- “THE SHOW GOES ON… after you sign some things.” She said to the filly, pulling a thick stack of paperwork out of the cabinet she hid the glass thing in. “None of this means anything important, I assure you.” Already, Scootaloo took her pen out of her mane.

“Cool. I’m Scootaloo- where do I sign?” The magician snorted, setting the paperwork on the floor and falling back to her flanks, since Trixie didn’t have a table.

“No no no, we’re not using that name for you. You need a stage name.” She spoke in a dead-serious tone as Scootaloo took a seat on the floor next to her. “And for the record- it’s The Great and Powerful Trixie. Nothing more, nothing less- the singular Trixie is my necronym.” The filly hummed in realization.

“Apologies. I don’t have a stage name. Can you just pick one?” The mare gave the smartass filly a devious grin.

“I’m sure I’ll think of one.” Scootaloo nodded obliviously, clicking her pen.

—

A grand wooden stage stood plum in the middle of a grassy, tree-dotted field on the outskirts of Ponyville. It would be liminal, were it not for the spectacle of magical trumpets blaring over the roaring cheer of the crowd surrounding it as a semicircular mass of ponies.

Boom! Crackle!

Sparklers were shooting all over the stage, cannons were shooting confetti as Trixie hopped out from behind the wide purple curtain blocking off view from the open-roofed stage behind her. Fireworks shot out from her horn like popping bubblewrap as she posed heroically- “BEHOLD! THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRIXXIEEEE!!!” The cheering intensified, unprepared for the massive serpent which shot out from the curtain, curling all over the stage and causing several screams of terror before it turned back into a fuse-cord. “ILLUSIONIST EXTRAORDINAIRE, EXPERT MAGICIAN AND SHOWMARE, AND HONEST, TAX-PAYING CITIZEN!” She finished her introduction with even louder confetti cannons, courtesy of Pinkie’s-Ferry Party Armory.

In the audience, two obese on-duty cops sat in the front row, stuffing their faces with jelly donuts. “What a good, honest citizen.” the stallion with a bushy mustache spoke, turning to his babyfaced partner whilst raising an equally bushy eyebrow and a smirk. “Hey- and she’s a beauty with a Zucchini, if ya know what I mean.” He elbowed his partner, who gave him an odd look.

“How’d your wife feel if she knew you were into those mares?” He asked, causing the mustached officer to roll his eyes with a scoff.

“Oh, please. She’d go bananas if she found out I was screwing a regular mare, let alone a transmare. Either way, I’d be up shits creek with a carrot for a paddle.” He said, looking back at the stage and hardly paying attention to the mares words. “Besides, transmares are mares too… And trans-stallions, etcetera. It’s confusing, but it’s courtesy and respect, boy.” he said in a warning tone, causing his deputy to straighten his back.

“Understood, Sheriff Jellyroll.” He responded on instinct, causing his boss to grin. “So, uh… we’re on park duty tonight, yeah?” he asked, the two sharing a small round of laughter, one after the other.

“Wonder if we’ll run into any hobo’s to mess with?” He asked with a grin, unaware of the fact that the mare on the stage resented them silently.

“BUT ENOUGH OF MY NEW ROUTINE- INTRODUCING MY less-so AMAZING ASSISTANT, THE FLYING CHICKEN!” Scootaloo groaned at the nickname, regretting the fact that she let Trixie choose. She heard the sound of a fuze lighting before the curtains were drawn, revealing the setup for the first act. The audience gasped, seeing the filly duct-taped to what seemed to be a comically large firework, striped with thick paper in a red-and-white pattern. It pointed at the sky, and the bemused filly wore a white-and-red helmet with a matching cape and a grumpy expression.

The crowd simultaneously roared in laughter and gasped, just as Trixie spoke up again- “NOT TO WORRY, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” She said, reaching into her cape and producing a sheet of paper. “THE FLYING CHICKEN SIGNED A WAIVER! IN THE EYES OF CELESTIA’S LAW, THIS IS LEGAL AND ETHICAL!” She winked at the disgusting pig-officers and made sure they got a good view of the legal form, to their satisfaction and the crowds relieved uproar of cheering. “OUR GODDESS WOULD NEVER LEAD US ASTRAY- PRAISE HER! PRAISE THE SUN!” All lip service to endear herself to the crowd as much as possible, and she couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she sat down and spread her hooves out high. A crowd that likes her tips a lot- and that is exactly what she wanted.

Scootaloo waited patiently as the fuze burned down, slowly reaching its destination beneath the rocket's red fins. She glanced into the audience and saw something that made her scowl; Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat in the front row with unbearably smug grins. While the former sat atop two fluffy white pillows, the other leaned against a large can labeled as Pine-Needleless Tree Sap! The orange filly squinted to read the cans label’s subtext- Not For Poultry Use!

“Aw, come on!” She outraged, unable to move her arms as Trixie prattled on.

“SHE’LL BE SENT HIGH IN THE AIR-TASKED WITH ESCAPING BEFORE THE ROCKET EXPLODES!” Scootaloo’s eyes popped open in realization, shooting over to view the much closer fuze. “SHE’LL DO THAT AND LAND SAFELY IN THIS-” Trixie’s magic lit up, summoning an inflatable swimming pool. “INFLATABLE CHILDREN'S POOL, UNHARMED AND UNSCATHED! DEAR CROWD, WE ARE PROFESSIONALS!” She asserted as they cheered the stunt on, Scootaloo having second thoughts.

“H-hey, Trixie… this-this isn’t actually gonna blow, right?” She asked, causing the mare to look back with a grin. She was sweating bullets, arms strapped firmly to the sides of the rocket. The fuse was no longer touching the ground, and Scootaloo was left hyperventilating, wondering if her heart would stop from how hard it was beating.

“FOLKS, EVEN I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, FEEL ANXIOUS!” She announced to create suspense, utterly contrasting her heroic pose, backdropped by the smoke of a ginormous firework beginning liftoff. The rocket glowed orange behind her majestically, distracting the crowd from Scootaloo’s terrified screaming. “BUT BELIEVE- BELIEVE IN THE FLYING CHICKEN!” She yelled as it shot out off the stage, flying skyward at an alarming speed and leaving a trail of smoke.

Scootaloo sailed up in the air, unsure of what to do as her heart pounded away in her chest. “Big problem, big problem!” The sweat flew off her body from the force, mixing with the duct-tapes adhesive and making it slippery enough to get her arm out. “Come on, come on!” She rooted around her mane with her newly freed hoof, passing through a cloud effortlessly on the way up.

“WOAH!” Rainbow Dash yelled, wondering what the heck destroyed the cloud she was napping on. She recovered from her death-spiral quickly, looking around in a confused daze. “Tha hhhhhheck?” She yawn-talked with bags in her eyes, wanting to get to the bottom of this before returning to her nap. She looked down- “Woah- when’d that stage get there?” She scratched her mane, heading down sleepily to investigate.

“GOT IT!” Scootaloo yelled, producing a pocket knife she kept in her mane. She flicked the blade open skillfully with a hoof, using it to remove a kernel of corn that was stuck between her molars. “Thah ‘ee ‘ho. Ptoo!” Since that distraction was finally taken care of, she could return to the task at hand- so she closed the knife against the duct tape, tucking it safely back into her mane so she could think. She gasped with a beaming grin- “I GOT IT! MY SWEAT’S DISSOLVING THE TAPE’S GLUE!” She began worming her way out slowly and confidently, preparing to flap her wings and fl-

KRAAKK-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Rainbow’s neck shot up just in time to catch the ginormous firework which blew up over her head, wondering exactly why the crowd below her seemed so shocked and horrified. “I really gotta get my eyes looked at.” She mused, squinting to get a closer look at the sooty black dot which seemed to have launched off the firework… “Wait, that dot’s screaming! That’s Scootaloo!” She yelled, flying towards the falling filly fulla’ furious fearlessness.

“WHAAAAAAHHH- HEY, RAINBOW DASH!” The soot-colored filly yelled and waved as her idol blew past her, grabbing the air above her head as Scootaloo’s wings flapped madly. “BYE RAINBOW DASH! COME CHECK OUT THE SHOWWWWwwwww…..” The Element of Loyalty scratched the back of her head, confused.

“... Dang. Are my eyes that bad?” She asked, oblivious to the silent trepidation amongst the crowd below her hooves; unable to watch the slow-motion trainwreck unfolding before their eyes, many in the crowd held each other in eye-clenched silent terror.

SPLAT!

“AHHHHH!!”
“KYAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
“WAH-HA-HAAAAAAA- Hey!”

A trio of voices screaming out made the trepid crowd look cautiously, many of them with their mouths left dried out from swallowing spit nervously; but cheers erupted from the herd like a volley of roaring cannonfire, starting with a single ringing of vocal percussion and multiplying exponentially.

“THE FLYING CHICKEN HAS LANDED, EVERYPONY!” Trixie yelled at the top of her lungs, turning to wipe the sweat off her brow whilst the crowd was distracted. “Almost a repeat of last weekend, thank goodness…” She muttered to herself, taking a relieved breath when she saw her new assistant being congratulated by the crowd; Whilst Trixie prepared the stage for the next stunt, everypony began quieting down as she climbed off the two fillies she landed on top of.

The orange filly stood proudly in her stunt-helmet and cape which flapped in the summer breeze; utterly contrasted by the pink and silver fillies which stood behind her in utter shock and horror, with their pristine coats marred by splotches of sticky golden tree-sap which spilled in the impact and clung to the downy pillow-stuffing like glue. “I’d like to thank Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, especially-” She stepped aside with a smug grin, as the fillies struggled with the sap-and-feathers. “Their tree sap and pillows broke the fall!” DT crossed her hooves with a huff, sitting petulantly on top of a sap-stained pillow case as her best friend/ most loyal follower continued her indignant struggle; the crowd cheered them on as she dragged Silver away with a huff, the orange filly hopping on stage for the real speech as Trixie worked behind the purple curtain.

Behind the privacy of her curtain, Trixie smoked a joint with a scowl as she worked on prepping the next act. She initially planned to ignore Scootaloo’s speech- “Maybe I am a chicken- I dunno.” She rambled aimlessly, and Trixie couldn’t help but pique her ear in interest. “But from what I’ve learned in School, chickens were basically T-Rexes like, thousands of years ago or something!” the unicorn mare couldn’t help but snort, trying to hold her laughter back as she puffed away at her lunch-joint. “That’s why if T-Rexes could fly, they’d even cooler- but they can’t!” Trixie had to set her joint aside to keep from choking on the smoke with her chortles. “BUT THAT’S WHY I’M GONNA FLY TODAY, ON THE POWER OF MY OWN TWO WINGS… EVENTUALLY! TO PROVE THAT I’M BETTER THAN A DINOSAUR! WHO’S WITH ME!?” She asked the crowd, met with silence.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Excellent speech, really got the crowd roarin-” Her sentence was cut off by the crowd roaring out in cheers and clapping; eyes wide open in shock, she let out a huff of disbelieved annoyance. “I guess I should be glad this town’s full of lead-poisoned idiots; I wouldn’t have half the crowd otherwise.” She said, washing down the taste of ash with store-bought bottled water. She scoffed- “Lead plumbing; because it worked out for the Romane Empire in the long run… Why do I think about the Romane’s so much?” She asked herself, taking one last hit from her joint before lowering her welding helmet, hoof-painted to resemble her purple-felt starry hat.

Psst- what now?” Scoots asked just as Trixie was about to begin welding, causing her to lift her mask while still holding a welding stick in a thick leather glove, suspended in her magic. She turned towards the filly and shrugged before lowering her mask and returning to work.

“I need like, a half hour to get this next one ready. Keep the crowd going!” Scootaloo nodded, returning to the stage with an enthusiastic grin.

“What’s the deal with tree-sap and pine needles?” Scootaloo yelled out to the crowd, just before the sounds of welding filled Trixie's ears.

Author's Note

My first ever commission!! Special thank uuuuuu, Wandering Commenter :p
And everyone else who made it through this chapter, you're also really awesome; your likes and comments are greatly appreciated :3

I'm open for commissions still! There's a Ko-Fi link in my profile description that'll lead to the details, or you can send me a DM; I also have a Discord! Thank you all so much :3

This fic will only be three chapters, btw :p

Dirty Laundry

Sitting behind the stage curtain, Scootaloo could only lie back in wait for the Big Reveal- yet despite the inherent anxiety of waiting for your preparations to pay off, she felt cool and collected; she looked back at the conversation she had with her hero Rainbow Dash in the interim.

—

“SCOOTS, she strapped you to a firework!?” She yelled in surprise, causing Scootaloo to nod with gusto. “Friggin’ AWESOME! Want me to stick around in case you fall again?” She asked, and the filly gasped!

“YES! I knew I could count on you!” She said, giving Dash a hoofbump as paramedics in the background used mane-clippers to get the tree sap out of her bullie’s fur. Scoots leaned in and whispered- “You’re gonna love the next one- it’s-”

—

“WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” The sounds of mechanical whirring and Trixie’s magically-amplified voice snapped her out of her flashback, though the sounds of her bullies' indignant whining towards tree-sap removal still rang like music to her; all the meanwhile the whole stage was being split down the middle using large pistons, pushing up grass at each side of the stage. Scootaloo wondered when the mare stuck a ten-inch crows feather in her hat as she yelled bombastically- “THE FLYING CHICKEN’S TERRIFICALLY TEUTONIC TREBUCHET!”

The crowd ooh’d and aww’d at the large trebuchet, built using metal I-beams for a frame. Scootaloo was holding on to the rope sides of the sling made for her, unable to see the sky above the large weightpan she waited patiently beneath. She stopped to ensure her helmet, knee pads, and cape were in place as soon as Trixie pulled the feather our of her hat with a hoof. “THIS FEATHER IS FAR HEAVIER THAN A TON OF BRICKS: INDEED, IT WILL SUFFICE TO MAKE THE CHICKEN FLY!” She said, climbing a wooden ladder that leaned against the solid metal frame.

“Wouldn’t a ton of bricks be heavier than a ton of feathers though?” Scootaloo asked, receiving an annoyed side-eye in return. The mare dropped the feather onto the metal bucket that was supposed to be filled with rocks. The machine’s arm lurched slightly in response to this sudden weight being dropped upon it, being stopped by the long metal pipe holding it in place.

“WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU!” Trixie yelled suddenly, causing Scootaloo to hold her breath and take one final glance towards Rainbow Dash… where she fell back asleep atop her cloud, well above the roaring crowd.

Scootaloo shrugged with a grin, preparing herself to fly!

METAL PIPE FALLING SOUND EFFECT
CREEEEAAAAAAKK!
SWOOOOOSH-
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

She screamed at the top of her lungs, tumbling through the sky uncontrollably and feeling nauseous.

“Snrk-Huh?” Rainbow Dash was awoken by the sound of a metal pipe crashing down on the stage, making her look around in a daze. Her eyes popped open- “Crap! Which way did she go!?” She muttered to herself frantically, a manic look in her eyes as her head darted in every direction. She finally made eye contact with the trebuchet, gasping in realization at what she was seeing- “That’s like… a slingshot!” She yelled, flying high in the air in the direction she’d assumed Scootaloo went… in the opposite direction.

Back to the filly, she was still soaring across Ponyville! “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Not flying, but definitely soaring over Ponyville’s majestic town square whilst the pedestrians minded their own business; when she tumbled over the Carousel Boutique, she was delighted to see- “AHH- RARITY, SWEETIE BELLE! HIIIIII!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, seeing one of her bestest friends in the world and Rarity in the middle of re-tiling their roof; It was unusual to see them both wearing utilitarian overalls and gaudy Personal Protective Equipment… but as Rarity puts it, ‘I can think of something I really wouldn’t want to wear- an eyepatch.’

“SCOOTALOO! HIIIIII!!!!!” Sweetie Belle’s voice cracked as she screamed at the top of her lungs, contrasting Rarity’s silent gasp and look of dread while she slid her goggles to her forehead. “BYYYYEEEE! SEE YA ON MONDAYYY!” She waved her friend hello and goodbye in the same breath, her sister finally rolling her eyes in disgust.

“Dear, goodness… that outfit is so tacky!” She groaned and shook her head at the typical generic stuntmare garb. “News flash- Filly Knievel died along with her choice of stuntwear!” She ranted, causing Sweetie Belle to tilt her head in confusion. “At this point, it’s a little disrespectful to shamelessly rip-off even the debased abstractions of her iconic style!” She spoke to no one in particular, sparking the filly’s curiosity.

“Woah… Filly Knievel is real?” Rarity turned and gave her the most dumbfounded look she’s ever given anypony. “Like, I thought she was like… I dunno, like Pinnocchio or something! Made up!” She threw her arms out wide to accentuate her point, all the meanwhile her sister was at a loss for words. “I mean, it’s so… I don’t get it! How can anypony break that many bones and just… be okay? Or at least, what I’ve read about her.” Rarity sat down next to her sister calmly, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

“You had to have been there to believe it, filly.” She said, gazing out at the half-tiled roof. “I got some movies about her, if you’d want to watch them tonight?” She asked, totally forgetting about Scootaloo as she and her sister shared a cheerful high-five.

“As long as you help me with my homework!” Sweetie Belle set her terms firmly, in the middle of a hoof-shake with her sister; Rarity paused momentarily and nodded.

“I accept your plea bargain.” She said, resuming the handshake with a grin. “Let’s get this roof done!” She said, making sure all her personal protective equipment was on and secured. “Sweetie Belle! Goggles, don’t think I’ll ever forget to remind you.” She said with a smirk, pressing her nailgun into the roof.

Tack-ptoo!

Meanwhile, Scootaloo was arching closer and closer to the front-lawn apple trees of Sweet Apple Acres. “AAAAAAHHHHHH!” She yelled, careening closer and closer to the house in a mad tumble; She closed her eyes and threw her hooves over her face as she prepared for the inevitable.

CRASH!
SPLASH!
THUMP, SPLIIiisssshh!

She shattered the window and broke her fall in a bucket full of water, tipping it over and breaking her momentum in the relative softness of a clotheshamper.

“Scootaloo! Ya tipped mop water into mah laundry basket!” Even before Scootaloo opened her eyes, she recognized the voice of Applebloom, letting out a gasp of delight! “Aww… Ah guess it’s dirty laundry anyway… ya broke mah windah!” She yelled as her friend rose from the pile of dirty pink bowties.

“I almost flew!” She yelled as her friend reached into a drawer, tossing a towel her way. As she dried herself off, she asked- “Scale of one-to-ten, how bad was that water?” She asked, feeling somewhat relieved to see a decent amount of soap suds popping on the floor.

“Ah just filled it up- perfect timing, too! Ya could’ve gotten bruised bad if ya didn’t hit tha’ water!” She said, hopping on the bed and gesturing her friend to take a seat- “Applejack’s making me mop the floor since I’m grounded but… eh, Ah’ve been procrastinatin’” She said with a shrug as Scootaloo stood up and shook her head-

“I can’t stick around long- I got a show to get back to!” She declared… but stopped to think, and felt curious. “Actually, wait-” She said, hopping on the bed for a question. “I’ve been meanin’ to ask- you’ve stayed quiet about my involvement?” She asked, receiving a nod and a friendly grin.

“You weren’t at that ice cream truck, plain and simple. No one saw you, I didn’t see you.” Applebloom reaffirmed, causing Scootaloo to chuckle.

“I sure as shoot didn’t get a cutie mark out of it, that’s for sure… even though we pulled it off!” Applebloom’s eyes shot wide open at the revelation that they’d gotten away with the heist of this Spring, and Scootaloo went on- “All of it, presumed missing or munched on- stored away in my Aunts freezer… but when you get out, we’re gonna have to set rules to ration it.” Applebloom nodded in total understanding as Scoots continued- “If we go to school every day with ice cream sandwiches and popsicles in our lunch bags, we’re gonna get found; not to mention, my Aunts’ll inevitably take their cut of whatever they please… and I know those ice cream sandwiches won’t last.”

The red-haired filly nodded along and said- “Definitely… but maybe we can strike a deal with them? Either way, we’re done discussing that here… I hear her hoofprints.” Was all the warning Scootaloo had before-

Knock, Knock, Knock!

“Scootaloo, Ah know yer in there!” the fillies heard Applejack on the other side of the door, both hopping off the bed to greet her. “Trixie called- she said you might’ve landed on tha’ farm!” She had a stern look on her face, sitting down and crossing her arms. “And Applebloom, yer supposed to be grounded. That means no friends over, even if they crash through yer windah!” She scolded her sister, who came to Scootaloo’s defense.

“But sis! Scoots is a guest in our house, ah can’t jus’ kick her out! It’d be rude and unkind and stuff!” Her retort made her sisters breath hitch in her throat, knowing that her sister was using her own rules against her. “Ah jus’ wanted tah let her know I was alright, and I was just about to explain kindly why she has tah leave!” She at least had to hold up the illusion for squeaky-clean behavior for a while, knowing that the private lawyer Twilight hired for them would take care of the whole situation; as far as anyone in the law was concerned, the foal that robbed the ice cream van was a rogue agent.

The two fillies shook hooves before Scootaloo turned towards Applejack- “Say, while I’m here- anypony know what Sweetie Belle is in for?” Applebloom shrugged, hoof-bumping one more time before she began to head out, hearing Applejack chuckling from beside her, unable to see the glare she shot behind her.

“I’ll tell you, only as a way of saying be careful.” she said, closing Apple Bloom's door and leading Scootaloo out. “She started a fire in the attic because she was playing with magnifying glasses in the new sunroof-cutouts.” The filly nodded, immediately wanting to try that out to figure out what she meant by that. “Luckily, all the stuff had been moved out for construction- that’s why Sweetie Belle’s helping Rarity re-tile the roof right now.” Scootaloo grinned.

“Oh, yeah! I waved at her earlier when I passed by!” She remembered, knowing that Sweetie Belle missed out on the heist. “Hey, any way I can get a ride back? It’s a long walk!” She asked just as Applejack grabbed the keys hanging on the wall.

—

Sitting in what was essentially a minecart atop a giant wooden rollercoaster hill, Scootaloo began to rethink how badly she really wanted to fly. She was so high up, she couldn’t hear Trixie over the wind in her ears. Whatever she was saying down there was a total guess to the filly… and the mares hasty instructions ensured that whatever her task was was a guess; all she knew was that her signal to go would be the rings of fire lighting up, all lined perfectly with the ramp at the bottom of her descent. They’d go off and set off fireworks and stuff, and Scootaloo knew that it would surely be awesome… but she had no idea which notch to set the brake lever to.

“Ten notches… I guess they each equal ten percent…” She muttered to herself, thinking back really hard into her (relatively short so far) academic career and gasping! “Wait! When we did the marble rollercoaster, you had to start it down the hill at like… slow speed, so you don’t fly off!”

BOOM!

The sound of fireworks going off made her spring into action, readjusting her helmet and grabbing the lever- “Do… two notches.” the cart lurched forward gently at her control… until the cart started to wobble. She panicked, “Heck with it- SPEED AND POWER!” She yelled, releasing the brake so that the wheels could spin freely- “CRAP, THAT’S STEEP!” She looked down too long, ducking into the cart just in time for it to tip forward on the track.

CRASH!

The tumbling cart barreled through the wooden ramp, leaving a minecart shaped hole on the bottom apex as it punched through like paper. “AHHHHHHHHH!” Her screams confirmed the filly would be alright, and the crowd cheered her on as the cart tumbled along the grass. She could see that most of the crowd was smart enough to make way… except for the two fillies, walking in dresses, carrying cans of pine sap and pillows.

“AHHHHHHH!”
“YAHA-HAAAAAAAA!”
“DARNIT, NOT AGAINNN! NOT THE SAP, NOT THE SAP!”

Diamond Tiara yelled, getting coated in tree-sap and feathers as the cart tumbled wildly with the three fillies in the bucket. Next, Silver Spoon rose her voice-

“HOW DO WE STOP!?” she yelled, giving Scootaloo an idea; she wasted no time in reaching for the carts brake-

CRRRRRK!
CREEEEAAAAAAAAAKK!

The cart skidded to a halt right-side up in the grass, Scootaloo holding on for dear life as she saw them barreling right into a tree-stump!

“AAAHHHHH!!!”
“KYAHAHAAAAAA!”

The two bullies screamed, having been flung out of the cart together the second the front hit the stump; by then, it had lost enough momentum that Scootaloo could easily hold on as they sailed over her head into the field of… “Ohhh, I should’ve played the lottery today.” She smirked deviously, knowing full well what that funky blue flower did. She watched Diamond Tiara stand up, rubbing her eyes with her hooves frantically.

“Diamond Tiara! Have you seen my glasses?” Scootaloo tilted her head in confusion, only putting two-and-two together when ‘Silver Spoon’ Stood up, removing her glasses with a dumbfounded expression.

“Over here, Silver Spoon! They landed on my face, somehow!” She said, removing them and surveying the field. “I got-KYAAAAHHH!” the feathered-filly yelled, seeing herself from across a field of Poison Joke.

“Huh? What’s the matter?” She asked, blinking in realization as Silver Spoon put her glasses on Diamond Tiara; her eyes shot open in shock, realizing exactly what the poison joke did to them and just staring at eachother in fear- they’d switched minds!

“Relax- Just go to Zecora, she’ll take care of it if you can ask her nicely.” Scoots said, returning back to the stage a decent way out of the forest. “Man, good thing we landed on a lumber farm!” She mused while the feathered fillies huffed in indignation.

Author's Note

Scootaloo ain't no snitch :p

Neither is Apple Bloom, as long as nopony gets hurt :3

Sweetie Belle just burned the house down again, no big deal.

Ring Of Fire

Nestled cozily in the bottom of a long tube, Scootaloo could hear her own breathing reverberating off the tall walls; All the voices outside were muffled from where she was sitting, with the cannon she resided in pointing away from the roaring crowd. The white noise filled her ears, but even as she wiped a bead of sweat off her brow, she looked forward with a determined glare!

… and started feeling bored from within the stuffy barrel; she couldn’t help but sigh as she fanned herself half-uselessly with her hoof. “Uhhhggg… what’s taking so long?” She whined to herself, huffing momentarily before thinking screw it, holding onto the walls around her to slowly climb up the long pipe and dinging her helmet against the side occasionally… until she was about halfway out. “Wait, crap- can’t do that.” She remembered her instructions, causing her to slide back down the barrel dejectedly.

Trixie’s instructions for Scootaloo were, of course, very specific and detailed; and for the filly, they were too specific and detailed. “Uhhmmm… cannon, stay in…” she muttered silently to herself, hoping that spouting random words will help her remember the complicated plan necessary to pull this final stunt off. “Something, something, low pressure curve if I climb out before the fuse, uhhh…” Scootaloo wasn’t sure what that meant, but she definitely remembered getting told something along those lines sometime earlier; she wiped the sweat off her brow with a huff, continuing her train of thought- “Rings of fire… I fell into a burnin’ ring of fire- DANGIT! Now that’s gonna be stuck in my head all day!” Once again, she found herself trying to wipe the sweat off of her forehead.

“Uuugh… Something about a manticore, a box, and a buncha magic crap…” She muttered to herself, trying to make heads-or-tails of what the unicorn was trying to explain to her earlier- “Something something spell matrix, pocket dimensions, uhh…”

Conk!

Something lightweight was dropped onto her head, reverberating with a hollow sound when it hit her helmet; it was made of paper, and shaped like a bucket… an all-too familiar fast-food bucket from a Griffonian chicken chain, emblazoned proudly as KFC. “AW C’MON!” She yelled out the barrel of the cannon, barely able to read the note hastily written inside the empty chicken bucket that said ‘Wear this over your helmet, we got a brand deal!’ She was about to tear the paper bucket up when she noticed a tiny asterisk next to the hasty note, drawing attention to the text at the bottom which said- ‘Do it or you’re not getting paid- trust me, you don’t want to not get paid after this show.’ “Uuuughh… fine.” She grumbled, sliding the bucket over her helmet…

“What was I thinking about earlier?” She asked, once again wiping the sweat off her forehead. “The Matrix, and dimensions in my pocket, uhh…” Fed up with how much she was sweating, she decided that enough was enough. “I need some air, I can’t think in here!” She huffed, resolving to finally begin the descent up the barrel for some fresh oxyg-

BOOOOOM!

“AAAHHHHHH!” She was soaring over the crowd of cheering ponies like a bullet… because she pretty much was a bullet, being fired out of a comically large cannon; but despite this, the world around her seemed to be going in slow motion as she surveyed the scene in front of her. With the stage so far away with its closed curtain, she barely paid it any mind considering the three literal rings of fire in front of her; the cannon was angled in such a way that it would allow her to sail these hoops in a rising and falling parabolic arc.

She blasted through the first hoop in a spot that seemed much lower than dead center; with a singed spot at the end of her tail, she realized she didn’t have enough momentum to make it through the second hoop without crashing. Eyes shooting open, she only had a second to panic as her body straightened out, her wings flapping… differently than normal somehow. She spread them as wide as they would go, flapping them slower and more rhythmically than she normally would and was barely able to lift herself high enough to avoid the flaming ring. “YES!” She yelled, losing control of the flight immediately as she sailed through the last hoop with a look of elation on her face!

That is, until the stage's purple curtain opened, revealing a plain wooden box and a leashed manticore with its jaws wide open, standing atop a raised platform. Scootaloo barely heard Trixie yelling something about a manticore moonshot something or other as she clamped her eyes shut, covering them with her hooves as well.

CHOMP!
‘UUUUURP!’

“Manticores can burp?” Scootaloo spoke to herself, finding herself unable to move yet floating through space with the muffled sounds of the trepid crowd outside, unable to make out their words whilst distracted by her own thoughts… “Manticores have outer space inside their stomachs?” She heard the sound of a wooden crate bursting open from some unknown direction, unsure if she was facing up or down when she heard the sound of a chicken clucking through a pillowcase; but rather than feeling annoyed at the predictable joke, she felt ecstatic because of the simple fact- “HOLY CRAP, I FLEW! I WAS GONNA SLAM INTO THE HOOP, BUT I SAVED IT! YEAAAHEEAAAAA!” She yelled, unable to turn back to check whether or not a cutie mark might have appeared.

—

CHOMP!
‘UUUUURP!’

The crowd gasped in utter terror whilst Trixie held onto her hat to jump onto the stage, with streamers of odd-colored magic blasting from her horn like a shotgun firing a swarm of bees. They danced and raced around each other as they split off into groups to fully saturate the wooden crate in faint pink magic that caused the box to literally jump into the air, slamming down with enough force to give anyone nearby a short case of tinnitus as the lid popped off, and the walls all fell outwords like a door off its hinges. “THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE PRESENTS-” She yelled, pointing a hoof at the orange-painted chicken that wore an ensemble that was meant to mimic Scootaloo’s helmet and cape and even a small KFC bucket all shrunken down to chicken-size. “THE FLYING CHICKEN, EVERYPONY!”

The crowd looked at the little creature in utter disbelief, waiting for the stuntfilly to give her grand-standing speech… or even just to affirm that she was okay as she looked around with confusion on her face. She pecked the wooden stage and proudly exclaimed- “Bok!”

“YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
“WOOOOOOOOO!”
THUDUDUDUDUDUDU-

The crowd erupted into an utter cacophony of incomprehensible hootin’, hollerin’, and stompin’ their hooves as the fillynodded off the stage and flapped her wings into the cheering masses to crowdsurf away… all the while Trixie looked on in mild jealousy. “They’ve never crowdsurfed Trixie away before…”

—

Scootaloo sighed, literally staring out into space. “Can you let me out of this manticore now?” She blurted out, only getting a muffled chuckle in response.

“You’re not inside the manticore, you’re inside a suspended animation pocket dimension while Trixie counts our earnings.” she explained to the filly plainly, underlined by the clinking of valuable bits. “While the pocket dimension is technically within her mouth, it’d be entirely wrong to say you were eaten by the manticore.” She mused, causing Scootaloo to huff.

“I don’t know what most of that means, but what does that have to do with me?” She asked, starting to feel an itch on her flank. “Can’t I just have a check that I can cash or something?” She could only hear Trixie scoffing.

“If I go to a bank, they might start questioning my finances, and Trixie does not need that.” She heard the mare muse to herself along with the clinking of bits. “The KFC manager is paying me in coupons for that exact reason.” Of course, that made the filly raise another eyebrow.

“Do they even have any pony food on their menu? I’ve never actually been there.” Mainly because she promised herself years ago that she wouldn’t wanna be caught dead within that place. “I’ve tried their mashed potatoes and gravy- it tasted like styrofoam with wallpaper paste.” Trixie actually giggled, and sounded sincere about it.

“They don’t actually serve chicken in Equestria- it’s all tofu based, and the manager was a griffon who swore by the taste of their fried tofu bucket.” Scootaloo’s stomach grumbled, reminding her that she skipped lunch and… hopefully not dinner yet; worst case scenario, she had a downstairs freezer chock-full of ill-gotten ice cream at home. “I’ll throw in a couple coupons for you, as a bonus.” The filly rolled her eyes at the mares smug tone.

“None of that explained why I have to stay in here, though.” She whined, only receiving silence in response… unless… “It’s Diamond Tiara, isn’t it?” She asked, causing the magician to chuckle.

“She’s really upset at you, which is why she paid me a decent chunk of bits to keep you occupied for a while.” It sounded like Trixie shrugged just then- “And because of your 50% cut, I need all the bits I can save up.” Scootaloo sighed.

—

Clink, Clink, Clink, Clink!

The saddlebags full of bits weighed heavily at the small filly’s sides, filled with the crushing weight of gold coins… so she didn’t feel that upset about it. “Who knew the show’d be such a hit?” She spoke to herself as she made the trek across the town with the marvelous purple-orange gradients of the sun-setting sky and grinning whilst taking shortcuts through the shaded alleyways. She barely paid attention to the dirty-red bricks that rose to the sky on either side of her, and definitely didn’t stop to question why two dumpsters would be placed across from each other as she walked right into the chokepoint.

“Ah!”
Click!

She jumped and drew her pocketknife out of her bag just as Silver Spoon made herself known by hopping into her path wearing a dress that covered most of her body and a frilly white wide-brim hat atop her head. Scootaloo pointed the plastic-gripped county fair stiletto knife at the bully with a huff and said- “Back off- these bits are mine, fair and square.” She grinned, slashing her knife in the air uselessly for dramatic effect while Silver just giggled. “Do you know how many times I’ve pictured this exact scenario in the shower? I’m like, an expert when it comes to dealing with muggings in alleyways!” But all that bravado fell when she heard a chuckle from behind her.

“Do you really think we want your… pittance? Picture day’s tomorrow, and you’re the reason they had to cut my fur.” she stated with a growl, wearing a pink three-piece suit with a white felt hat which covered up what was left of her mane from the tree-sap removal, and Scootaloo even noticed a few bald-patches on DT’s cheek. “That knife of yours looks cheap and lame.” Her arch-enemy said as she reached into her suits pocket and pulled out a closed balisong with curved gold grips and held together with platinum pins; Scootaloo’s eyes shot open and she began to sweat a little, paying no mind to the silver filly behind her.

Diamond Tiara undid the latch and began skillfully flipping it around and swapping between her hooves as the rhythmic clacking noise they made drew attention to the sharp, curved blade and tossing it in the air before catching it with her right hoof, fully deployed and locked open. “Crap, that knife is better than mine…” Scootaloo muttered, closing the blade of her stiletto and tossing it back into her pocket, raising her hooves in the air and closing her eyes. “Fine, just… make it quick. Do what you gotta do.” She said, hoping that they would take the bait… and unable to resist sneaking a peak, her plan fell apart immediately as she saw Diamond Tiara cutting a feather-stuffed pillow open. “Hang on, I won that bet!” She yelled defiantly, only to receive a glare from DT. “During the Manticore Moon Dive or whatever that trick was called, I managed to raise my altitude all on my own!” She whined as the wind picked up, causing DT’s hat to fly off- but before the filly could catch it, she witnessed just how much of her mane they had to cut off before the hat was pressed back onto her scalp.

“Didn’t see it-” Diamond grumbled through grit teeth just as Scootaloo heard the sound of a paint-can lid being opened, along with an obviously piney smell. “Didn’t happen.” She heard the footsteps as Silver approached her from behind with the can and a paintbrush, and blurted out-

“Let me take the bag off first. I don’t want any tree-sap on my loot.” She said, casually removing the backpack and accepting her fate… but she wasn’t the least bit upset about it.

—

‘I flew today! All by myself, under my own wingpower!’ She’d go on to write in her diary later that night, wearing a hoodie to keep warm because of all the patches of fur that got shaved off. ‘Not only did I make a bunch of cash and KFC coupons working with Trixie on her show, DT and SS both got sapped-and-feathered… by accident, but it was in front of a decent amount of ponies regardless.’ She tapped the pen into her chin and thought of what else to write- ‘Despite the fact that I got the same feather treatment and DT made sure to take plenty of photos to laugh at with the class… but I should be thankful that if I showed up tomorrow wearing nothing but sap and feathers, I probably wouldn’t have to get it taken anyway.’ She giggled to herself, idly stroking her mane with a hoof- ‘Either way, they’ll be showing up to picture day tomorrow with a lot less mane than they woke up with this morning… but you wanna know the kicker?’

Scootaloo giggled to herself with a massive grin on her face. “It’s like what Cheerilee told us- No wearing hats on picture dayyyy!” She sing-songed to herself aloud from the sheer irony of the situation; rather than being upset, she could only laugh at the fact that her bullies would be- “Wait a minute.” She came to the cold realization when she started idly stroking her mane… or what was left of it, and remembering the massive bald spot that went from above her eyebrows to nearly her scalp in such a manner that not even a comb-over could fix. It’s too late to buy a wig, and she doubted the wig store would be open on a sunday and especially not enough time to do it before heading to the photography studio and beating the inevitable line of students that would build up from the picky stallion who owns the place and making sure everypony looks good before sending them off… “My Sunday will be completely gone if I show up too late to beat everypony else… probably why Cheerilee opted to have the photo-op all day tomorrow.” After a grumbling sigh that caused her to lower her head… she gave herself a chuckle.

“Screw it- I flew today, and I couldn’t be happier.” She resolved, finishing up her journal entry and shutting the diary. “I hope Rainbow had her contacts in!” She squee’d to herself, having a relieving feeling that told her things could’ve been way, way worse. “Aaaaand… it’s bedtime!” She exclaimed, yanking the chain that turned her bedroom light off and hopped into bed.

Fin.

Author's Note

The guy who commissioned this story also commissioned this accompanying piece-

I hope you've enjoyed reading this fic! I had a blast writing it myself :p

Your likes and comments are greatly appreciated, and as of posting this chapter, I'm still taking commissions! Again, thank you all sooo much for the support- it means a lot to me :3