A Discordant Decipher

by Horror Pro5555

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Violence, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Sad, Main 6, Gravity Falls, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Tragedy
Length: 3754

After failing two times to take over the dimension where Dipper and Mabel got lucky he decides to try to take over another universe. That universe is where Equestria resides.

Bill Cipher, an inter-dimensional being who had accidentally destroyed his home dimension and attempted to take over another universe. In multiple universes, he won but in one of them, he lost, twice. Now he has to face the facts, he will never take over that universe. So he has to find a dimension, a universe where he can find a planet that is easy to manipulate. No, not a planet, a country, a kingdom! And this kingdom in mind? Equestria.

Takes place after the events of “The Book of Bill” by Alex Hirsch.

My take on Death Battle's Bill Cipher VS Discord.

Published 2024-08-15 04:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-16 05:36:17 UTC

Chapter One: A NEW PLAYGROUND

"NO, NO. SOMETHING"S WRONG! I CAN SEE INSIDE YOUR MIND. OUR LINK IS WEAKENING! AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU! I SHOWED YOU MY CHILDHOOD! I BROKE THE FOURTH WALL FOR YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?”

"IT'S HIM AGAIN ISN'T IT? I KNEW IT!"

"HE'S THE ONE WHO TURNED YOU AGAINST ME! THAT FUMBLING IDIOT CON MAN! THAT WEAKER COPY OF SIXER!"

"STANLEY!!"

"STANLEY!!!!!!!"

STANLEY

SSSTAAANLLLLLLLLLEEEEEYYYYYYYyyyyy......

Those were the last words before Bill Cipher finished the book when it returned to him. He couldn't believe it, he lost, TWICE. He had once again been defeated by the pines. He didn't understand, why in this universe the pines came on top while in others they had perished. It was becoming clear that it wasn't luck at all. He can't win! His ego quaked at that thought. This universe cannot be taken over. He had to think of something and something else to do with the book. The book was a great idea but those pines just ruined it.

(BILL CIPHER) "Wait, pines. Hmmm. What if I go to a universe where the pines do not exist? A universe where on a particular planet there are inhabitants just as stupid as humans are. Maybe even more... Let's see....."

After looking he found it, a universe where on a planet a country, heck a kingdom lay! Equestria. A place where unicorns reside? But also pegasi and regular equines? And from the looks of it, they are used to "friendship", "kindness" and even "love". BLEH, it all made Bill queasy but it was perfect. The perfect place to not be interfered with by any of the pines at all. It will be like taking candy from a baby which is normally not as exciting. Soon he began to laugh.

(BILL CIPHER) "HehehehehehHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"

(BILL CIPHER) "IT'S TO PERFECT!! A perfect place to spread weirdmageddon! A place where me and my pals can have a good time and for once not be interrupted!"

(BILL CIPHER) "I shall send this book to this "Equestria" and make this book find a poor unfortunate fool and read the book and go with the deal! Then without any weirdness bubble keeping me in, I will be able to spread it all over the globe!"

(BILL CIPHER) "HehehehehehHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"

It was a wonderful day to be Spike. His closest thing to a sister Twilight has risen to the throne and even become her friendship ambassador. Everything else was going well with her other friends, continuing in their lives. So as Spike. He had to admit he missed Ponyville. But hey, he was practically a grown dragon and he was able to go anywhere he went, with permission of Twilight of course.

But still, life was great and yeah he's having trouble for now. But he's sure to get used to it at some point. Especially with help from Twilight and their oh-so-many friends, he had no doubt he would be able to accomplish it. He was glad that everyone else was getting settled with Twilight being the new ruler. It doesn't help that many from Ponyville knew her but many others across Equestria recognized her and have heard of her. At first, there was some hesitation, but in the end, everyone was comfortable with Twilight as their new ruler. Even Discord, who at first everyone had to get used to him. But now many like him and have even been trusted with helping Fluttershy and her animals.

Nothing could ruin this. So he thought. As he looked through Canterlot Library he saw a weird book that stood out. It was dark and when reached for the book he saw something that puzzled him. On the front was a golden triangle with.... an eye? Arms, legs even a hat and a bowtie? And on the back, he saw a circle with weird symbols on the back.

(Spike) "Weird. I don't understand this. Maybe going to Twilight and both of us looking at it we'll understand what this is. Wait, perhaps I should look at it first then I'll take it to Twilight. Yeah, I like that.”

He headed back to the main castle heading inside his quarters setting it on his desk and examining it a bit more before opening it. The first page he was greeted to was a page of a hand print on one side and on the other a bunch of text. A sentence reading the book's new master is with a dotted line without hesitation he signed it with a nearby quill. Below he sees "to summon". To summon? Something weird is going on. He followed the directions placing his hand on the print as best as he could. Cleared his mind and began to repeat a set of words multiple times.

(Spike) "Time to get weird, time to get weird, time to get weird, time to get weird."

Suddenly as he flips the page, he sees a bunch of papers displaying a bunch of HA's. But then he hears actual laughter and as he flips the page the triangle thing from the cover begins to stretch through the page before bursting through and revealing himself to the still young dragon and speaking to him directly.

(BILL CIPHER) “Well, well, well. I was wondering when I would finally be able to meet you at last. The name is Bill Cipher, and you don't have to tell me your name Spike, you already signed it remember?”

(Spike) "Woah, what are you?"

(BILL CIPHER) "Not a bad first question kid. I'm a being of pure energy! And I'm older than time itself. In fact, I have a deal for you.”

(Spike) "Uh, what kind of deal?"

(BILL CIPHER) “Well, you see I want to offer you Rarity."

(Spike) "What, Rarity!? What about her? And how do you know her name?!"

(BILL CIPHER) "Geez kid relax, I'm the master of the mind I already see into your mind and see that you like to be with her."

(Spike) "Yeah, but we're completely different species. And honestly, I don't see it sailing."

(BILL CIPHER) "But what about something similar? Think about it you have done so much for her over the years wouldn't it be nice to get something NICE out of it? For a day at least.”

(Spike) "A day, one day, ok I agree. So where do I agree?"

(BILL CIPHER) "Just circle here and she will be yours for a single day."

And so he circled yes and suddenly the book began to glow as suddenly Bill burst from the book and appeared in the same room as Spike with him now being three dimensional.

(BILL CIPHER) "Tough luck kid! I tricked you and soon this universe will be mine and it will all be thanks to you, see ya! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

As he flew out of the room and into the sky. Immediately Spike ran out and found Twilight telling her to warn her friends immediately and bring the elements. Luckily they were able to get new ones just in case. They soon enough were able to find him as he was in the center of Canterlot with a giant rip in the sky as the air felt heavy and the wind blew faster. Bill finally notices the mares approaching him.

(BILL CIPHER) "Well isn't this INTERESTING." If it isn't the elements of harmony themselves. Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkamena Diane Pie. You know you remind me of someone else who I was going to welcome joining my side before she decided to aid in my defeat.

(Twilight) "Who are you! And why have you come here?"

(Rainbow) "Yeah, what's up!?"

(BILL CIPHER) "Well, I'm here to take over your universe of course and you six won't stand in my way!!"

(Twilight) "I don't think so. Girls!"

The six began to levitate as well as their elements before Twilight started to notice that something was going on. Their mouths were open as if they saw something horrible and their eyes began to glow pure yellow.

(BILL CIPHER) "Yeah, no. I have no idea whether whatever you were about to do would have affected me or not, and I'm not about to waste time finding out. What I'm finding out however is how many times I can torture an Equine and make this planet one big old playground. Heck, Twilight I'm even willing to let you join us do you agree?"

(Twilight) "NEVER!!"

(BILL CIPHER) "TOO BAD."

Bill said in a demonic voice before doing the same to Twilight. Now with all six captured and him instantly getting his physical form he quickly began to spawn things. He allowed his friends to come through, released weirdness waves on the lands, bubbles of pure madness, and unleashed deadly creatures to Canterlot and Ponyville. He raised a giant pyramid into the sky, turning the six into banners, and began to snare ponies turning them to stone and making them into his new throne. Including the former princesses Celestia and Luna. As well as every resident of Ponyville and a select few from Canterlot.

(BILL CIPHER) "At last, at long long last. Victory is assured and again I reign supreme, time is dead and meaning has no meaning and of course, existence is upside down. So I welcome one and all to the true WEIRDMAGEDDON!!!!!!

Finally, after ups and downs, he had one this universe would soon be his. Any potential threats have been taken care of and no one stands a chance. Except of course who was watching within the chaos dimension Discord watched. He was fuming, growling and, his face turning red and his paw claws extending out. With a grunt he went to Canterlot it was time to save his world and most importantly, it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED........

Author's Note

FINALLY, the story I wanted to do for so long has finally come to pass. Now I will finish Monstruos soon in September but for now I would to focus on this story. Sorry about the switches but so many ideas are flowing in and I can't stop. So goodbye and remember this is where Horror Lives!

Chapter Two: THE BATTLE

The city of Canterlot. What is usually a majestic capital has turned into distorted chaos. Weirdmageddon has been unleashed, with several demons terrorizing their new playground.

Up in a giant black pyramid lies Bill, who is seen sitting on his throne made of the petrified residents of Canterlot, with Princess Celestia and Luna each respectively transmuted into shiny gold and purple idols on each armrest. He proceeds to turn a poor male pony into a toy, then into stone, and telekinetically places him on the throne.

(BILL CIPHER) "BOY, HEHEH... PASTING ALL THIS BOOTLEG MERCHANDISE TOGETHER SURE TOOK A LOTTA GLUE."

(BILL CIPHER) "GOOD THING YOUR FRIENDS MAKE THEIR OWN."

The person Bill is speaking to (with his voice now full of pure joy and satisfaction), Discord, can be seen flying within the banners of the Mane Six. He stops at Fluttershy's banner, looking upset at the condition of his one true best friend. As he exits the banner and back into reality, Discord holds and pats Fluttershy's banner in lament.

(Discord) "Ugh, friends of a friend. Ah... But there's an idea!"

His mood abruptly changes as he teleports to the steps to Bill and starts parodying Twilight's ending monologues by telepathically reading and writing a message on a scroll as he dons a chef's outfit and summons a flaming cream pie.

(Discord) (telepathically) "Dear Princess Celestia, today Bill Cipher learned an important lesson... about friendship."

Bill is utterly disgusted by Discord's words and almost throws up from his eye from the sappy words as he turns green.

(BILL CIPHER) "UGH, GAG!"

Discord takes the opportunity to throw his flaming pie right at Bill's eye, destroying it and his left hand in an explosion.

(BILL CIPHER) "OW! MY EYE!"

The now frustrated Bill quickly regenerates his lost body parts, including his now-bloodshot eye, and wipes himself off as he summons a giant arm behind him. It then slams onto Discord, who had many more pies ready to throw, making an imprint of him pop out of the hand. Discord is sent flying out of Bill's Fearamid, and Bill himself angrily follows. However, as he is searching for Discord, he notices several Canterlot structures being turned into colossal desserts.

(BILL CIPHER) "HUH?"

He looks around to see that the one responsible for this is Discord, who telekinetically throws the confectionaries at him. Bill dodges an ice cream cone and cake but gets hit square in the face by a scoop of mint ice cream, bringing both him and it to the ground. This is followed by a carrot cake, muffins, another ice cream cone, a scoop of strawberry ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry on top of him with the sound of a bell dinging. Discord is seen enjoying his own more reasonably-sized sweets as he taunts his opponent with a service bell in his hand.

(Discord) "Enjoy your just desserts!"

An explosion from the stack of sweets occurs, with Bill emerging from it as he smacks two drums and a cymbal from a drum set. Reality then briefly distorts as a laughing Bill levitates up to Discord. Afterward, things get wacky as Bill begins rapidly rotating the world around himself, causing buildings, ponies, henchmaniacs, and various objects to fly everywhere while he fires lasers at Discord. Bill soon avoids an anvil from Discord from above before shooting another laser down at him, laughing with enjoyment over the battle.

(BILL CIPHER) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? COME ON!"

Bill suddenly stops rotating the world, leaving it upside-down. He looks around for his opponent, unaware that a gigantic Discord is behind him. Bill is then magically turned into a Dorito before Discord chomps, chews, and swallows. After wiping his mouth with a napkin, Discord gives a small food review to the audience.

(Discord) "Egh, a tad Euclidean for my tastes."

Suddenly, his head explodes in confetti thanks to a laughing Bill, now restored to normal. However, Discord quickly reappears back next to him by coming out of a tear in reality, mockingly laughing as he does so, surprising Bill.

(Discord) "Ohohoho... ha."

Angered, Bill tackles Discord and punches him repeatedly with multiple arms, causing the two to enter a Weirdness Bubble. Inside it, the animation switches to a claymation-styled dimension where Bill strangles Discord before the latter pushes him off, knocking aside two guns. Bill retorts by shapeshifting into a giant monster with a long tongue, but before he can attack back, the animation distorts yet again to a 1930s cartoon-esque medium with dancing flowers in the background, where Discord grabs a resisting Bill and playfully gives him a noogie on his head. Reality distorts once more for the two combatants to find themselves in a hand-puppet-styled scene, with Bill continuing to punch Discord.

(BILL CIPHER) "BLAMMO!"

Children's cheers are heard from off-screen, which leaves Bill and Discord to stop fighting and greet the viewers before returning to their playful conflict. Bill gains distance and shoots silly string at Discord, causing the children watching to laugh at the latter's humiliating appearance. After he shakes it off, Discord makes vomiting noises, only for a real human hand to emerge from his puppet mouth, much to the screaming children's horror. The hand then snaps its fingers, and a purple-white light covers the area.

Finally returning, Bill and Discord emerge from a portal back in a right-side up Canterlot. However, it is noticeably different, lacking any Weirdness Bubbles and the interdimensional rift now blue instead of red.

(BILL CIPHER) "TELL JEAN-LUC HIS SHOW IS WORSE THAN CODE OF HONOR!"

Bill kicks Discord away a distance before stretching his arm to the left side of the screen, which suddenly grabs Discord from behind and squeezes him, leaving a squeaky party noise coming from his frilling tongue. After quickly recovering, Discord, in a more serious manner, responds to Bill's remark.

(Discord) "You are not qualified to work with the fourth wall!"

Discord does Bill's prior action, grabbing and squeezing him in return, his eye nearly bulging out and making a rubber chicken noise. The two then literally butt heads together, but then it turns out to be both combatants, now much larger, clashing each others' fists with bruised clones of their foe. They briefly stop to look at each other before tossing the clones away in boredom. Discord, taking notice that they have not gotten anywhere, makes a request to his opponent for a different approach.

(Discord) "This stalemate is getting dull... How about a different game?

He summons a few dice of varying surfaces to reinforce his question.

(BILL CIPHER) "SURE. I LOVE CHECKERS!"

Bill raises his hands, and the slight moment of peace is suddenly interrupted by Discord getting crushed from above by, ironically, a giant knight chess piece.

(BILL CIPHER) "GOOO~ FISH!"

He tosses away the chess piece with his telekinesis, revealing a smear on the ground. From it, the "carefree" Discord emerges as a spirit, making silly ghost noises as he enters Bill's mind.

(Discord) "BOOO~!"

In his mindscape, Discord continues to laugh as Bill is angered over his opponent trying his own trick on him.

(BILL CIPHER) "YOU'RE MESSING WITH MY MIND?! OH, THIS IS MY SHTICK, YOU HACK!"

The mindscape is then suddenly set aflame with blue fire as Discord talks him down.

(Discord) "We may be evenly matched, Bill, but I've seen your show, my two-dimensional nuisance."

Discord still as a spirit, emerges from the flames and claims his prediction on Bill.

(Discord) "And I know how you die...!"

(BILL CIPHER) "OHH."

Bill turns red, shapeshifting into a larger form to try to attack and grab Discord.

(BILL CIPHER) "YOU THINK WE'RE EQUALS. THAT YOU'RE SAFE IN HERE, YOU LOW-EFFORT CLOWN?!"

As Bill shoots an eye laser at him, Discord avoids it and slashes a chunk off of him with a larger hand, flipping him the bird as he flies away. Bill begins to uncontrollably distort before stopping, his missing chunk restored, and declaring to Discord...

(BILL CIPHER) "I'M AN ALL-SEEING GOD!!!"

In the real world, Bill has grown gargantuan in size and turned three-dimensional. He attempted to get Discord and trap it in a bubble like Mabel. But this time Discord had a trick under his sleeve that Bill didn't see. Discord pulled out an ancient-looking bell and rang it causing it to ring and Glow. Bill stopped what he was doing and looked on with curiosity In his mind. But before he could react he was shot by a beam from the bell hitting Bill causing him to react, screaming before stopping.

(BILL CIPHER) "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU REALLY THINK THAT WOULD DO SOMETHING? WELL, IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FRIENDS "LORD OF CHAOS"."

Bill snapped his fingers expecting to continue what he was doing before he was interrupted. But something was different, nothing was happening and the blue flames continued to grow with each second passed. He continued snapping any form of using his abilities each time getting more panicked. His face began to continue to get more and more worried and frustrated. While Discord smirked and he began to grow inside his mindscape. He knew Bill's weakness and his previous defeats as well as learning how Bill got into Equestria.

(BILL CIPHER) "No, how is this possible!! All my ultimate power is gone! What is that thing!?!"

(Discord) "An all-seeing God you may be but you don't know about this beauty: Grogars bewitching bell. It can ensnare all magical abilities into the bell which the user (if powerful enough) can yield."

(Discord) "And awhile back it was able to contain MY magic, so I thought: if it could work on me, it could certainly work on you, Bill."

(BILL CIPHER) "My power, all gone, NO! I can't lose again, why must I keep losing, WHY!!!!"

(Discord) "Because Bill, I am far more powerful than you. Sure, we are both billions of years old, but I've been here since the beginning of time itself, and most importantly I know every known spell known to pony-kind! Each. And. Every. One."

Ignoring the question and not giving a proper answer, Discord blasted a beam of pure chaos magic at Bill which made Bill literally decompose to the point he was in HIS spirit form. Bill looked at himself seeing himself in his spirit form. He never saw himself in his spirit form before, due to well nothing as powerful had been done to him because he was too powerful and the axolotl wouldn't either. Right? The blue flames were also getting larger beginning to surround Bill getting closer and closer. The surrounding area in the mindscape was completely engulfed in flames. His mind was being destroyed. For the first time in his life, since his home was destroyed, he felt emotions of sadness and regret begin to creep in as he accepted his fate.

(Discord) "So BIll any last words? The axolotl can't save you this time."

(BILL CIPHER) "I just... I just want to say sorry to my parents, and my home and it's hard for me to say... but I say that I'm sorry for the Pines family and the whole of Gravity Falls and the universe, my friends as well as your friends Discord."

(Discord) "... Wise words Bill, I hope that your parents, the universe, the Pines family, and that universe will forgive you in some way. Mine... you may not be so lucky. Goodbye Bill, I hope you can forgive yourself as well...

And so, Discord snared the flames onto him causing him to burn while at the same time using his full power and blasting Bill with a single beam of chaos magic. Bill looked up as his spirit was destroyed before he disappeared with sparkes form his destroyed spirit flew out. The giant form of Bill then suddenly exploded causing a giant flash of multiple colors to go out before everything was back to normal. With it finally over, he decided it was time to find his friends and tell them of the events that unfolded. He looked around one last time stating in his mind that he hoped that once again he was truly happily reunited with his people and most importantly... his parents.

TO BE CONTINUED...