The magic of music

by appledash4521

Chapters

It's my Burden to Bare
Like a rolling stone
The Weight
Queen of diamonds
The queen of hearts
Stray dog
Kozmic Blues
Somebody to love
The dreamer
One day at a time
For what it's worth

It's my Burden to Bare

Author's Note

Another heavy chapter

The events in the stoy from here on out are not a reflection of my life except the drug use and drinking

For anyone that is going through anything like this in their lives please reach out to someone you trust and seek help.

It's my Burden to Bare

"Okay wanna start off with Shine like Rainbows?" Applejack asked, as she tuned up her bass.

"What about awesome as I wanna be?"

"Dash, you know as well as I do you only wanna play that song so you can show off for Alec and win y’alls stupid little bet, yea I heard ya two talking." AJ spat out as she glared in Rainbow's direction.

"How about we let Alec do one of his songs, just to show you all that he is proficient at playing." Sunset said while looking at me as she got her guitar ready.

"Oh right, let the drunk who just spewed his guts not ten minutes ago play and sing one of his songs. I'm up to watch him make a fool of himself and make an easy 20 bucks while I'm enjoying the show." Rainbow said, sarcasm dripping off her tongue.

"Well he seems fine to me you guys, sure he lost his lunch earlier but looking at him right now he seems totally sober." Thepink haired girl behind the drumset said.

"Pinkie did you see him stumble and basically fall out of Sunset's car, not to mention I was watching him when he was cleaning himself up he could barely stand!" Rainbow growled at her friend.

"I did Dashie but look at him right now, not even a sway or staggered stance. Also I'd like to hear one of his songs and get to drumming." Pinkie said, as she idly twirled a drumstick between her fingers.

"Pinkie, do you know how to play blues music, or any of you for that matter?" I said out loud looking between the group of friends.

"I don't particularly know how to darling but if you give me chords to follow I can try and manage my way through your song." Rarity said unsure.

"Oh, so now we are going to start with one of his songs! That's just great, go and cut out my suggestion then I see how it is." Rainbow huffed out as she took her guitar off and set it down in the stand behind her.

"Don't know how to play blues Rainbow?" I chuckle as I look her way, my crooked grin only getting bigger.

"I'm the best guitarist in canterlot high, don't think for a second that I don't know how to play a song genera, let alone one as boring as the blues." Rainbow snapped back at me, her gaze failing to intimidate me into backing down.

"OK then, warm up with me and let's see. Show me that bravado you had before I called you out!" I laughed, "key of E, Pink you pick the tempo and count us in!"

The click of drumsticks filled the air as Pinkie counted off the time, the crash of a symbol and the smooth beat of the drums was al I needed to lay down a rhythm for the cocky Rainbow haired guitarist.

"Really Pinkie, I don't do slow!" Rainbow said in the microphone.

"What's the matter Dash, not able to play slow or rather refuse to." I say as I stop playing to see how this would turn put.

"Well obviously I refuse to play slow, it's not my style." She said with an attitude of a child.

"Well you could give it a try, I find that going slow is a lot better than going fast." I say to Rainbow as I look in Sunset's direction, "going slow and taking my time throughly making sure I find just. what. I'm. looking. for."

Sunset blushed as I punctuated the last bit while making direct eye contact with her. The girl with the purple curls shot a look between Sunset and myself trying to make a connection... And she made it quick.

"Sunset darling, what is your friend implying by going slow?" Rarity asked with a look of suspicion.

"Nothing, I'll tell you later but if you want ask Alec." Sunset said in a slightly panicked tone looking towards me as se said my name.

"Comeeee ooooonnnn guuuuuuyyyyyeeeeess, let's get to practice. I want to hear Alec's song!" Pinkie whined as she mirror drummed around the kit.

"Pinkie is right, Sunset you're a solid rhythm guitarist lay down an easy slow groove so Dash can follow along and let's get rollin'." I say out loud to the group, "key of E minor with a major 7th walk down to the root."

"Count us in, you know the tempo and I'll match it best I can." Pinkie said looking at me patiently waiting.

"1...2...3...4....1...2..." I count in while I scratch strummed.

After a few bars of playing and getting a feel for where everyone was at I step up to the microphone.

As i wake up in the morning I feel ashamed to be alive.

Yeah when i wake up in the mornin i feel ashamed to be alive.

Then I drag myself outta bed, and it's all I can do not to cry when I'm dead inside.

I'm feelin so downhearted just tryin to survive.
Well I'm feelin so downhearted just trying to survive with all the day to day going on, no matter how hard i try these blues infect my mind.

I step back from the mic to play a solo, the sweat dripping down my face lands on my guitar and in my eyes while I work my fingers up ad down the neck.
My long hair matted from the water falls into my eyes covering my face for brief seconds before I flip it out of the way, my expression conveying pain and loss as my guitar starts to cry.

I feel tears start to flow down my cheeks and off the end of my nose as my fingers keep dancing, my mouth opens and closes as my chest heaves as I silently cry finishing the main solo.

When i open up i get stabbed in the back every time and if i glue the pieces of my heart back together mamma it gets torn out and thrown on the ground.
And if i tell you how im feelin, you turn around and walk right out the door never to come round me no more.
When i know you dont care for me its my burden to bare!!!?!?!!!

I sing out the last lines of my song vocals getting pushed to the limits swelling before the final notes are played. Complete silence is all I could hear aside from the ringing in my ears, I open my eyes and see everyone's faces with a mix of sorrow and surprise.

"Darling are you okay, if you need to talk about what's going on I'm here for you; you know that right?" Rarity said to me with an expression of deep concern.

"Dude, that song was depressing as hell, not to mention it made Pinkie's hair go half straight!" Rainbow chimed in looking between Pinkie and me.

"Sorry for bringing everyone down I know my lyrics aren't as up beat as yours but things haven't been all that great lately." I reply with my head hung low.

I take my guitar off my shoulder and put it in its case along with the strap. Applejack sets down her bass and puts a had on my shoulder, her stoic demeanor giving me a little comfort.

"Now I know why you showed up completely tanked, but that ain't gonna solve the problem partner it'll just make it worse hell it's gonna kill ya." Applejack said in a motherly tone as she gripped my shoulder a little tighter.

"I know buddy, but at this point it doesn't matter to me if I live or die." I say with a level of calm that would concern a hardened war vet.

Dash just scoffed at everyone before speaking up again, "oh what, are you pissed that your parents didn't get you the latest video game or did your girlfriend break up with you?"

Everyone just looked in her direction and if looks could kill the she'd be dead five times over.

"What?" Dash stammered questioning everyone's hostile gazes, "not my fault the dude is sensitive over something that happens like all the time."

"How ins—" Sunset spoke up before I held up a hand for her to stop.

"You really wanna know what that song is about Dash?" I calmly say as I turn to look at her.

"I already know what it's about so there's no need to explain anything to me. Your lady dumped you get over it dude." She chuckled aloud.

I took my shirt off and put it over the microphone, I swept my hair back and walked over to Rainbow so she could see for herself what I was about to explain.

"Dude why'd you take your shirt of—" Rainbow stopped when she saw the scars lining my biceps and the stitches on my face.

"Bro how—" she stammered out before I cut her off.

"Cutting scars on my arms from six years of physical abuse from my drunk of a mother, the scar on my nose was from her yesterday when she threw a cocktail glass at me when we were fighting. And that's just the physical scars we haven't even gotten to the mental scars yet, she has sexually abused me since I was I don't know 9⃣or 10." I say coldly as I point to my body explaining how I got my scars, "look at me in the eyes when I'm talking to you girl!" I grab Rainbow's jaw and force her to look me in the eyes. "Stop with your stuck up know it all attitude and understand one thing, you don't know what I've been through nor do you know the full extent of what I'm dealing with let alone anyone else for that matter. You better unfuck yourself before I do it for you, do you understand?"

All I got for a response was a whimper and a small nod before I let go of her jaw, "what the fuck is your problem Alec, you can't just grab me like that let alone threaten me either." Rainbow said in a shaken up tone.

"Obviously you are fuckin dense if you don't understand, so I will put it into words you can understand." I say as I put my shirt back on and turn towards her, "my mother someone who should protect me and love me unconditionally gave me the gash across my nose because she was drunk, the one on my right shoulder blade when she thought I drank her booze, she literally rapped me Friday night and that has been going on since I was 6 years old when she started molesting me."

"I didn—" Rainbow started to say before she was shot a look from Applejack to shut up.

"My dad practically lives on base here so he's never home and doesn't know about what my mother has been doing to me, I've had enough of your pretentious bullshit attitude so with that being said I am done explaining myself to someone so far stuck up her ass since you have parents who actually love you and have filled your head with the notion that you are the best, #1." I say with a raised voice and a tone like I'm talking to my mother.

Everyone was standing around too shocked to do anything let alone say anything, I walked out of the barn leaving my guitar and amplifier behind, grabbing the cigs in my breast pocket of the acid washed button down shirt and putting one in my mouth lighting it before saying over my shoulder to Rainbow, "fucking pretentious cunt."

"Guys, I don't wanna play anymore." Pinkie softly said as tears rolled down from her eyes.

"You've done it this time Rainbow, just don't know when to keep that fat mouth of yours shut do ya." Sunset exclaimed as she took her guitar off her shoulder and walked out of the barn.

"Honestly darling you went too far this time, you should be ashamed of yourself right now." Rarity spoke in a harsh tone, "I don't blame Alec for setting you straight like that."

"You guys are really taking his side on this, he damn near choked me because he can't control his anger over a few harmless words!" Rainbow yelled out.

"Harmless words Dashie, you were the one that pushed Alec to that point." Pinkie said sobbing from behind her drum kit, "Pinkie promise me that you'll apologize to him."

"No way Pinks, why would I." Dash stammered back at her friend.

"Dashie this isn't up for discussion, you will apologize to Alec." Pinkie sternly commanded before she got up and walked out.

"AJ, Fluttershy?" Rainbow choked, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"Nah Dash, you were just an asshole, go home." Applejack said as se followed Pinkie.

"What has gotten into you Rainbow Dash." Fljttershy said as she walked up to her friend, "you should know better considering the same thing happened to me, when I came to you about being molested by my brother. I'm ashamed of you right now."

Like a rolling stone

"What is art? Is it the collective agreance of beauty or is it more than that? Is art something more than just strong emotional feeling of being moved by an orchestra preforming an original composition, more than colors mixed together on a palate and put to canvas, or is art more abstract in the way that it makes us think.

For there are multiple mediums of art from the classic forms of the old masters breaking theory set by those before them breaking their bodies and at times their sanity to create something truly timeless in stone or on canvas?

Or the humble musician in the town square pouring their soul into every note, the off time in playing or out of pitch way of singing that gives their song a unique sense of self?

For what is art, art cannot be measured with any type of monetary value to be collected like some cheap trinket in a case ever growing in value, nay art is whatever the person or collective of people perceives it to be; be that beauty or repulsive, simple or complex, abstract or contemporary.

Art is what you make it to be friends that is in my opinion what makes art beautiful and magical."

I finish up my speech, setting the paper down on the makeshift podium at the front of the room, looking out at the sea of faces. Some students asleep not really caring about the class or what was being said while a few in the front rows were hanging on every word.

"Very well presented Mr. Pierce, now class." Mr. Calloway announced as he clapped his hands together to get the attention of the students.

"That was a difficult topic to broach especially so since art, whether that be the classical forms, or modern forms of the topic ranging from painting to music; is all subjective."

"Mr. Calloway?" A student asked from the front row.

"Yes Sunset?" He replied.

"The premise of his speech wasn't on art at all, more about the subjectivity on what makes art beautiful to..." She started but trailed off not knowing my name.

"Alec, or Alex if you'd like." I reply quickly to Sunset.

"Isn't Alec’s speech about the subjectivity of art as a whole rather than what art is?" Sunset picks up where she left off.

Mr. Calloway rubs his goatee in thought at the questioning statement.

"Well Sunset, that is what art truly is. It's all subjective and bias from person to person say you hear a song on the radio that you absolutely love, say something from Songbird, amazing musician with an incredible voice, consistent lyrics that convey a story or feelings in the most primal and vulnerable way possible, pouring out her soul for people to critique and make their own conclusions about." I reply before Mr. Calloway has a chance to get a word in.

"I understand that art is subjective like most things in life are like food or down to the way people act singularly or with a group." Sunset remarks.

"I feel you misunderstood the point of my speech but it was one of the sub topics that ties in well with the main topic, it was never about art but more importantly about the subjectivity of life itself." I reply, "art is one of the easier more broachable topics on subjectivity in every day life because people have very different ideas about it and a wide understanding of it, beit from the art student learning to shade a sketch to the seasoned painter creating in his eyes his magnum opus."

"You've lost me." Sunset says in a questioning tone.

"Mr. Calloway may I use the board for a little demonstration?" I say.

"Of course, be my guest." He absentmindedly says while listening to the small debate between his students.

"I see you brought your guitar Sunset, if I may?" I ask her while writing out a simple chord progression on the board.

"Be my guest, if you can play." Sunset replies with a small playful tone in her voice.

"Thank you, so you know music theory or basic chord theory at least?" I ask her as I finish writing out what I would be demonstrating.

"I do to an extent, what does this have to do with the topic at hand?" Sunset quips.

"Getting to it, so this is just a simple chord progression in the key of C, an easy key to work in because it doest have any sharps or flats, so if I take a chord progression of C D Am Em and F. How would you play that Sunset?" I ask her, "4/4 time at 98bpm."

Sunset plays the chords I wrote out on the board. A simple strumming pattern not too flashy or complicated, just rhythm strumming.

Mr. Calloway bobs his head up and down to the beat of the strumming, "I see where you're taking this Mr. Pierce, very cleverly done," he says under his breath.

"Very nice Sunset, well played if I had to guess you've been playing for a few years, mainly rhythm." I say to her, "now you have your own style of plying, much like how you talk and your everyday mannerisms, so everyone you've heard Sunset's playing. A unique sound and tone much like how she talks, walks, or even displays her body language."

I motion for her guitar to play, "since the example for today is about subjectivity and the diversity of art or every day life. Here's another way to play that chord progression slightly different but still the same chords at the same tempo and time signature." I say aloud to the class while adjusting the strap and get comfortable as possible.

Mr. Calloway looks on in surprise when the whole class's attention was focused on the demonstration being given. Impressed by the level of creativity being displayed and very articulate direction he stands up from his seated position and waks to the front after I am done playing.

"As you can hear between the two playing styles that Sunset and my playing are completely different in tone, strumming patterns, rhythm, and chord voicing. I know that I strayed from the tempo a little bit but still within the tempo range that was set. Collectively I ask all of you to think about this going forward, not only on being subjective but opening your minds to other ways of thinking, other points of view, nothing is black and white like most people think for there are varying shades of gray in everything not just art or music but opinions and beliefs. With that being said give Sunset a roun from her beautiful playing," I say as I hand her the guitar back as I lean in to whisper in Sunset's ear, "I hope we get the chance to play together outside of a demonstration, your playing is very complimenting to mine if I'm being honest."

"Well class I hope you've learned a little bit on the speech Mr. Pierce gave today. Thats all the time we have for class, as a side note if you want extra credit write about what you've learned from this and I hope you all are a little more open minded going forward." Mr. Calloway said as students started packing up there things up for the end of the day.

●○●

"What a jackass, that pretentious uppity motherfucker," Sunset said as she was warming up before band practice.

"Sunset darling what has brought this on and at whom are you projecting this towards?" Rarity asked concerned.

"It's nothing Rarity, it's just this new kid that passed me off and humiliated me infront of the whole class earlier, I already don't like him but he does have a way with words and he's very smart not only with how he talks but with music too, he's on the same level as Twilight if not above her level," Sunset fumed as she strummed a chord progression.

"Where'd you learn that from?" Rarity asked pointing to Sunset's playing.

Sunset blushed as she stopped playing, "I just learned it from someone in class."

"Was it from that new kid you're passed off at?" Rarity asked a small yet playful smile graced her lips, "if he's so awful then why are you blushing?"

"Uggghh I am not, I don't have time for this today I'm out of here." Sunset fumed as she took off her guitar and put it back in the case.

Picking up her things she stormed out of the music room and down the hall.

Author's Note

Decided to change the MC’s name but other than that nothing else will really change

The Weight

The walk home was short, peaceful even that was until I rounded the corner to the street I lived on.

"Why do I have to go home?" I say to myself.

The weight of my backpack becoming even heavier and heavier with each step closer to a home that could care less about me, let alone treats me with respect. Sure my dad is in the guard and has been since he was my age just out of high school, I wish he would retire so I don't have to upheave my life every six to ten months and move to whatever town or base he's stationed at.

Leaving behind friends, lovers, family, or even comfort just so dad can get a glimpse of a potential promotion that will never happen. The guard dangle the carrot just to give out false hope then transfer us to wherever they see fit at the cost of our sanity and whatever semblance of normal we have achieved.

As I reach the driveway I can see that my mom is home probably cooking dinner or having another bottle and is passed out on the couch or at the table holding it close for comfort.

I don't say a word as I slowly open the door and gently close it behind me as to not make any noise. I see that mom is drunk again and trying to make dinner, most likely burnt to fuck and looks like slop that even hogs wouldn't eat.

"Oooohhh Alllleeexxxx, y-you're home," my mom said through a heavily slured speech. "H-hhow was sch-ool baby?"

"Looks like you waisted no time to crawl in that bottle this time, smells like a fuckin distillery in here. How many did you drink this time?" I say as I hang my bag on the hooks by the door.

"Now is tha any ways to talk to y‐our mommy?" Mom struggles to say as she sways and damn near stumbles over her own feet to greet me.

"How many mom, because I might need to call the paramedics like last time since you'd rather live in a bottle rather than deal with the problem," I say as I make my way to her so I could carry her to the bathroom just incase.

I put my arm around her waist and try to help her walk, "oh you h-hav-nt t-touched me like this in a l-lon ti-iimeee," mom says in a little giggly voice almost flirtatious tone.

"Mom you're hammered, and judging by the half filled blender you've been drinking all day again," I say as I help her to her bedroom, not getting more than two steps across the dining room/kitchen area before I feel her hand slowly make its way from my shoulder jently and sensually trace the muscles on my back.

"Y-yo look l-llik your father when w-eee were your age," she slurs out while tracing small circles between my shoulder blades, "you just have longer hair jus like your mommy,"

"Okay, looks like we are doing this again, for the third time this week," I say aloud.

Not getting more than a step or two across the room while being felt up, I do the only thing that seems to work without the unwanted physical touch by the person who's supposed to be my mother. Throwing her over my shoulder I hear a little squeal of excitement escape my mom's lips and then a long moan as I wrap my right arm around her waist.

"I don't want to do this again mom, you're too drunk and pent up to act like a mother," I say with barely a strain in my voice as I slowly make my way to her room to lay her down.

"Tha not verrryyyy nic-ce to say to your mommy. You never say anythin nice anymore, I'm home alone all day when your father is at the base and with you at school I don't ge to see you until you get home and when you are you're so cold to me, it's not fair." My mom says holding back tears.

"Great here comes the emotions again," I say under my breath as I slowly set her down.

I feel my mom grab the hem of my shirt and drag it over my head, after her feet are on the floor slightly shaky from the sudden contact my mom leans into my chest as she plants small kisses on my collarbone and neck.

"Why don't you love me, all I see is an ice cold gaze and your tone when you speak to me sends shivers down my spine, not the good kind of shivers either," my mom says as tears dampen the sparce hairs on my chest. "I can make you feel like you're the only one, make you feel loved all night when you get home, your father and I haven't been intimate for years because we are constantly moving from town to town." My mom says not realizing that I've been repeating her word for word.

I look down at the woman clinging to me crying as I slowly walk her over to the couch to have her sit down.

"Why dosn my baby bo lov me anymore?" She says through slured speech and ugly crying.

"You and I both know that you and I will never have that type of relationship, no matter how horny you are because dad is too busy with his job to properly show you the time of day, I don't want to have an insectuace relationship with my mother it's wrong on so many levels and you know that mom," I explain to her the best I can when she's drunk, "I'll make dinner for us okay then we can watch a movie or something okay?" I tell her as I give her a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm sorry baby boy," she says to me through tears.

"This is nothing new mom, I just wish you wouldn't drink like this. You won't make it long like this." I reply as I get up from her side.

There's nothing in the fridge, freezer, or cupboard; looks like I'm ordering out again this week. Shaking my head I mutter under my breath "I fucking hate it here," as I start to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

Scorch marks on the bottom of the pan, the stove still on high, and a burnt mess that is starting to smoke like the dying embers of a fire.

"Yet another pan I'll have to buy, and explain to dad about what happened,"
I sigh with frustration, "should I check her into a rehab or let her drink herself to an early grave?"

○●○

After some takeout dinner and a documentary about one of my favorite bands struggles on the road and the constant stress of their label pushing them to record more albums, mom passed out half way through and curled up on me like a cat asleep in a sunny spot on the floor or in a chair.

Carrying my mom to her room, gently laying her on the bed and cover her with the bed sheets I get a text.

From: Dad
Hope you're doing fine, sorry kiddo, I know how your mom can get.

I should be home late wednesday eveing so until then keep your mom away from the booze, its only 5 days so dont go postal.

Love Dad

"You son of a bitch, you're gonna get an earful when you walk through that door." I mutter as my mom grabbed my arm and trapped it to her chest for comfort, "Looks like it's another one of those weeks, hell of a Friday evening."

I slowly maneuver my hand from the surprisingly vice like grip of my drunken mother, walk to the other side of her bed and collapse onto the inviting comfort of sleep.

Author's Note

Didn't think it would take this long to get chapter 2 written but life gets in the way sometimes.

I'll try and keep to a regular release date for new chapters

Queen of diamonds

Not being able to sleep is fun, even more so when I have to basically be the parent to my parent. How can I make the best use of my time today, got to go shopping for more food since there's practically nothing besides a fully stocked wet bar and ice in the freezer. Even worse is that I'll have to treat my own mother like a fucing child when we go out since she can't be trusted alone, not after the kitchen fire at our last house.

It's only 05:45 and I'm already done with the weekend which is supposed to be for relaxing and having fun, spending time with friends or going on a date with a girlfriend if I had one.

I try and fall back to the warm embrace of sleep but that's impossible when my mom has my head locked in place against her chest with arms locked around me, how she got completely naked in the middle of the night is beyond me since she sleeps like the dead when she's tanked.

Her hand on the back of my head gently stroking my hair is kind of comforting but realizing that she misses the time when I was an infant still breastfeeding and trying to reenact that now when I'm 17 is just awkward. My eyes become heavy and I finally drift off to sleep not caring that I have my mom's breasts forcibly mashed in my face.

I'm awoken by a slap across my back and another across my face as I shoot up in pain and surprise, unbeknownst to me there was a wet popping sound as I did coming to the realization that I was sucking on my mom's fat nipple like an infant feeding for the first time.

"Why the fuck are you in my bed boy, why the fuck am I completely naked, and why were you sucking on my tits?!!?" My mom furiously asked while slapping my face and trying to cover herself up.

"What the fuck you crazy bitch, looks like you're gonna have the worst hangover today which is perfect because now I'm most likely gonna get it because you can't control yourself with drinking!" I say with an irritated tone as I grab my mother's wrist mid flight for my face, "on top of all that happened last night I passed out from exhaustion taking care of your sloppy drunken ass, now get up, get dressed, and meet me in the car we are going shopping since you burnt dinner again because you were completely tanked off your fucking ass."

"Do not take that tone with me boy, I am your mother and I will be treated with respect do yo—" a loud slap echoed off the walls of the room as I backhand my mother out of her hungover rage completely derailing any semblance of coherent thought while stopping her from talking further.

"I will not be treated like this anymore, get your clothes on I don't care if it's a tank top with pajama bottoms. Get dressed, shut the fuck up, and go to the fucking car. If you are not in the car within five minutes I will drag you out of here over my shoulder in any state of dress you are in do you fucking understand me Amy?!?" I yell back in her face like dad would with me when he was a drill instructor.

My mom just nods her head like a child on the verge of tears, I get out of bed and start heading for the door, only stopping when I notice a cold breeze on bare skin.

"One other thing, if dad finds out about this, what you did to me last night, you are a dead woman twice over. Not only by dad but by me as well. There's a plan B in the nightstand, take that and get yourself ready we are leaving in seven minutes." I say calmly and coldly to her and walk out of the room.

I finally get to my room and lock the door behind me going to the bathroom, getting dressed quickly I stop before I put my shirt on. Taking the razor from the package I look at myself in the mirror and notice the hand print left from my mother slapping me across the face as a small amount of blood is leaking down the corner of my mouth.

"What did I do in a past life to deserve this," I say to myself in a low gravely tone as I hold the fresh razor to my left arm and slowly drag it across my bicep hearing the soft scrape of cold rolled steel against my skin. My face devoid of emotions and only feeling a small sting as a new cut slowly starts to pour blood down my arm, "I deserve this, I deserve what happens to me, I am nothing and will be nothing."

There's a loud bang on my door as I hear muffled yelling behind it. Paying it no mind as I repeat my daily mantra as I drag the razor across my flesh multiple times before depositing it in the sink, drops of blood hit the pure white porcine and floor. I look at myself one last time before I get the gauze pads and disinfectant from the vanity cabinet, taking off the cap and poring the clear liquid on my arm watching it fizz and bubble before patting it dry and wrapping the gauze around it.

"Alex you open this door before I break it down!" My mom yells.

"Fucking do it then, you'll be greeted with my ring to your jaw if that's how you want the morning to play out. Get your ass in the car before I drag you out of the house like the last time you did this," I yell back, her incessant pounding doesn't relent and the door gives way.

"Looks like you're still cutting I see," she says in a flat tone.

"I see you've wasted no time for a drink you sloppy drunk," I quickly reply looking at her from the mirror's reflection, "that's what you're wearing? Nothing more than short shorts and a tank two sizes too small to where your tits are flopping out when you walk!"

"Not that you've complained looks like you’re already getting hard just by looking at me, mommy still has her figure baby boy even though you completely wrecked my stomach and tits with how big I was with you and with how much you nursed on me," she says with vitriol dripping off her tongue.

I slowly walk over to face her while standing a whole head and a half above her, I take the whiskey glass out of her hand and knocking back what was left before throwing the glass as hard as I could past her head, missing by mere inches as it shatters against a wall.

"Car now," I spit out as I shoulder check her hard enough to send her body into the door to her right.

♡♡♡

At the store people stared as we got what we needed going from aisle to aisle, some brave souls tried to ask my mom out but when she said that she was here with her husband and clung to my arm like a child, they looked at me and sulked off.

As we went to the frozen section of the grocer we got a lot more stares and slight murmers from passersby, "Why does it have to be so cold in here, my nipples hurt and they are hard enough to cut glass," my mom said loud enough for others to hear while cupping her breasts and pinching her nipples that were poking through her shirt.

"If you can't behave I will take you to the car and you can sit there till I'm done," I say to her like a child.

"Fine," she relents pouting as if she was 14 years old again.

Dividing my attention between what we needed and keeping a sort leash on the child that acompanied me that I didn't notice who I was about to run into, my mom grabbed the handle on the shopping trolley to avoid me running them over.

"I'm sorry I didn't see yo— well fuck there goes this shopping trip," I say aloud which gave me a slap on the back of the head by my mom.

"Alec, is that you?" Sunset asked.

"Hey, so you do your shopping on Saturdays too I see," I replied while my left arm was being gripped tighter and tighter making the gauze wrap come loose.

"Yea gotta do it, I had nothing left for the upcoming week," Sunset said annoyed, "who is this, your girlfriend or something?"

My mom held my arm tighter and started to trace shapes and patterns on my lower back.

"No, this is my mother who I can't leave alone or she will flirt with anyone and anything or crawl inside a bottle even though it's 07:30 in the morning." I say with an irritated sigh.

"Oh, so why is she clinging to your arm like that then?" Sunset questioned.

"Because she doesn't know personal space or boundaries," I reply while getting my arm free and that's when it happened.

Sunset noticed a small line of blood trailing down my arm to my elbow, "what happened there?" She said under her breath.

"I'd rather not get into any of that, if you wat to know find me at school Monday or meet me at school early," I said loud enough for Sunset to hear.

"Is this your girlfriend baby?" Mom said with venom behind each word.

"No, she's an aquantince, possibly a friend I don't rightly know since I generally keep to myself incase we have to relocate again."

"Relocate?" Sunset asked confused.

"Dad is in the guard and this is the fourth time we've moved towns this month. It fucking sucks because I just want something consistent and normal for once in my life." I spit out, like the words were a bitter poison on my tongue, "well I've got to go and get the walking distillery home before she passes out on me. Here's my number if you need anything or just want to hang out."

I gave Sunset a scrap of paper with my number that I kept in my wallet.

After we said our goodbyes I continued the struggle that was shopping with my mom. Gods help me if I can make it through the day without any trouble from her or Sunset's friends after this.

◇◇Saturday afternoon◇◇

"I can't fucking take it anymore, why do you have to be so goddam miserable to be around." Mom said to me while nursing a drink. I just sat in silence taking the verbal assault, not like it mattered because if I could make it to Wednesday evening everything would be alright at least that's the hope.

"Well someone has to babysit you or who knows what would happen, you could burn down the house cooking again, drink yourself to death which would be a nice repreave from what I've been suffering through the past 6 years." I say to her in a smart ass tone.

Next thing I know a glass was hurdling towards me too fast for me to dodge, It connected with my head breaking on impact leaving a nasty gash on the space between my eyes going down to the bridge of my nose. I fell back in the chair I was sitting in as mom rushed over to help realizing what she had just done.

"Are you okay baby boy?" She half shouted in the most motherly voice I have heard in a long time.

"Get off me you fucking cunt," I say with one hand over my face, blood starting to pool around my head. My vision blurred and black was forming at the edges, I pulled out my phone and called dad.

"Answer motherfucker," I whispered in a soft tone, my free hand pushed the speaker button and a voice on the other end spoke plainly and cold.

"What I'm in the middle of something."

"Dad, hospital now lots of blood, mom too drunk to drive or be useful." I spit out while trying not to choke on my own blood and hang up on him, knowing I have about 45 minutes before dad rolls up with medical.

I slowly turn onto my stomach, so I'm not drowning in my own blood pouring from my face. Hacking what I can out of my throat then slowly start to get up, shaking from the strain and weight of my body using all its might to lift up 165 pounds of near dead weight.

Mom started sobbing collapsed on the floor of the kitchen/dining room her hands covered in blood trying to clean the mess, I finally get to my feet unsteady and wobbly like a faun trying to walk forthe first time struggling with each step I make my way to the island in the kitchen and lean over the granite corner.

"What are you doing?" Mom asked choking through tears.

"Making this look like an accident, now clean up that glass and get me the highest proof booze you have I need to do something." I say to her in a wavering voice.

Mom slowly gets up and walks over to me to help me. I take my bloody hand and smear it on her face and wrap my hands around her neck.

"Wh—hy?" She choked out gasping for air.

"Why, because of the way you've treated me the past 6 years, the constant bender you've been on for the last 4 years and ontop of that the emotional manipulation, the sexual abuse that's been going on since I was 11, the way you always take everything out on me but when dad is around you're this loving mother and wife that could do no wrong; that's why." I spit back at her with all the malice, anger, hate, and rage that has been pent up for a long time.

I let go of her neck and she collapsed on the ground, I raise my bare foot and give a forceful stomp on her nose. As my heel connects I hear a sickening crunch, knowing that I broke her nose and probably fractured something else I make my way to the sink grabbing a tea towel to try and stop the blood pouring from my face.

The queen of hearts

Author's Note

Two chapter dump before I go to bed. Any feedback on this story are much appreciated

The queen of hearts

My body burned with exhaustion and pain, the dull throb of the gash on my face began to grow into a white hot searing pain like someone took a white hot knife and slowly drug it across the bridge of my nose.

My phone began to ring again, I slowly bent down to grab it trying not to keel over. I fumbled with it a bit from my hands being soaked in crimson, I taped the answer button not knowing who was on the other end.

"Hello?" I croak out, a voice on theother end said my name and asked if I was OK.

"I'm fine I think, just cut myself trying to catch my mom falling, Sunset is that you?" I ask.

"Alec I’m coming over what's your address?" She said frantically.

"3354 Crown Jewel place. Just 3 blocks from school. The house with the navy blue SUV in the driveway." I say slightly slurring my words knowing the adrenaline was fading.

"Stay on the phone with me, you don't sound like you're doing too well." Sunset said as I could hear the chime of her car in the background and then the start of the engine.

"I'm fine sweetheart just a little bit of blood and a decent gash across my face, definitely gonna need to go to the ER when you get here," I say nonchalantly like this has happened before.

I set the phone down on the counter and opened the drawer next to the sink, finding the first aid that my dad kept for emergencies such as this one. I opened the kit up and found the bleed stop and more gauze, tearing open the packet and setting it beside my right hand I fished out more supplies and cleaned up my face the best I could until I got to the hospital.

"The door is unlocked, come in and help me real quick I'm over the sink cleaning my face up." I say to Sunset, "don't question it but if you need to have a spit the trash can is next to me on my right side."

"Are you okay," I hear sunset's voice as the door opened, the echo from the phone making a weird feedback.

"I'm in the kitchen, don't freak out ok," I tell her as I see her face round the corner.

"What happened to you!!?!?!!" She screams like someone who witnessed a mugging.

"Come here, grab a chair and help me," I say in a stern yet eerily calm tone.

Frozen in place Sunset just stood there like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. "I need you over here right now Sunset!" I barked out grabbing her attention and shaking her from the frozen state.

She slowly made her way to my side shaking with every step she took, holding her hand over her mouth looking on in shock. Finally making it to my side she was pale as a sheet on the line and looked like she was gonna have a spit, I moved the trash can over to my left side then it happened.

"Sunset, oui come back to reality sweetheart," I said as I patted her back firmly, "put these on." I handed her a pair of exam gloves from the medical kit. My hands already gloved up and covered in blood.

"I need you to pour this on the gash and really press it in there, I can't see too well because of the blood in my left eye," I tell her and hand her the packet of quick clot.

"I can't, you need actual medical help!" She said frantically.

"Yes you can, I can't see and you're the only able body that can do this. My dad is about 20 minutes out bringing medical, I just need you to pour the quick clot on the gash I can do the rest." I reassure her as she took the packet with shaky hands.

Tears streaming down her cheeks and trembling like a leaf in the autumn breeze. I grab her face with my hands and force her to look me in the eyes, "you can do this, after this is over I will pay for the therapy, you can do this just breath in through your nose and out through your mouth find your center and slow your breathing." I told her calmly.

"How the fuck can you be so calm, look at you all covered in blood and bleeding badly." She replied with shaky voice.

"Wouldn't be the first high stress situation I've been in, that's beside the point right now. Pour that quick clot on me and make sure you use agood amount, I've stopped the bleeding best I could with a towel but I'm fading." I reply slowly.

Sunset raises the packet and pours the white powder in the gash on my face. I press the stuff into my face giving out pained grunts while trying to maintain my breathing as to not pass out from pain.

"More,"

Sunset does as she's told and dumps the rest of the packet into the wound, gagging slightly as I firmly pack the powder in. That's wen I hear slight moaning ad gagging from my right.

"I need you to start your car and open the back seat, I'll get mom and I need you to book it to the closest ER." I snap at my friend, "now Sunset!"

Hurrying out the door and to her car, Sunset starts it and opens the back driver side door waiting on me to come out. I stumble with my mom over my shoulders making sure I picked her up and held her up the best I could with her head forward as to not choke on her own vomit.

I get mom in the back seat and closed the door, "go," I say in a barking tone, still sitting there hands on the wheel frozen in shock again I get out and open the door and pull Sunset from her seat ad stick her in the back.

"I need you to come back to earth Sunny, keep mom on her left side, if she throws up keep her head steady and don't let her roll on her back or have her head tilt backwards, SUNSET!" I shout at her like a drill smoking new recruits.

I look in the rear view mirror and see Sunset sobbing uncontrollably.

♡♡♡

I make it to the hospital faster than I thought, tires squealing as I practically drift into the front pull up under the awning, the smell of rubber filling the air as I come to a screeching halt. Throwing the shifter violently in park I get out and open the back door, yanking Sunset by the arm and grabbing my mom, throwing her arm around my shoulder and hobbling her through the front automatic doors of the hospital.

"Get me a doctor, woman with broken nose and alcohol poisoning," I shout to the receptionist.

Doctors rush to us with a gurney and a wheel chair, "sit down son," one doctor said to me.

"She's been on a bender and has alcohol poisoning, pump her stomach and get a charcoal solution with an IV of saline and magnesium, potassium, and check her heart while you're getting all that." I tell the doctors as I walk alongside my mom.

"Son you need to sit down right now, I need to check that wound on your face it looks deep." One of the doctors demands as he pushes me into a wheelchair.

"Listen lab coat I've been through worse she needs all that she can get, I'm fine I even stopped most of the bleeding at home, where's Sunset?" I reply with the last few words coming out slurred from another adrenaline crash.

"Listen here son, your wife is in good hands I need you to calm down and I'll wheel you to a bed so I can clean out that wound." The doctor demands as he starts wheeling me away.

"Not my wife, she's my drunk of a mother, where's Sunset." I say in a shaky voice, the room was getting a little blurry.

"Alec!" I heard Sunset yell out while security held her back.

"Let her through, please doc," I plead.

"I can't," the doctor says as he pauses his stride.

I grab his lab coat and pull him down to my level, look him in the eyes; "you can and you will or I am getting up and bringing her over with me," I say with a fire in my gravely voice. The doctor motioned to security to let her through. Sunset came running to my side.

Stray dog

It was only a few hours since we first entered the hospital, a team of doctors surrounding me asking questions about what happened. “So how did this happen Mr. Price?” The lead doctor asked in a serious tone.

“Well I had to babysit my mom again since my dad is busy with his work, she tripped and went face first into the countertop. I tried to catch her but fell along with her and fell on her drinking glass.” I tell the doctors standing over me as I lay in the hospital bed.

“Does your mom drink often?’” Another doctor asked concerned.

“If only you knew the half of it, just clean this fucking gash on my face and stitch me up or I will do it myself.” I say with an annoyed tone in my voice.

“Where’s my son at!” A man yelled, his voice echoing down the hall.

“Fuck me, this will be interesting y’all will want to see this,” I say to the team of doctors who looked at each other with concern.

“There you are boy, what the fuck happened this time. Don’t skip details!” My dad yelled.

“Yes sir, mom fell I tried to catch her, I went down with her and smashed my face into her drinking glass. Got myself cut up, called over a friend to help and quickly patched myself up with the kit you keep in the kitchen then drove here with mom passed out in the back. Anything else you want to know sir,” I reply quick and precise to my father before laying back down in the bed.

“Ok I know how your mom gets when she drinks. Good to know you’re ok soldier, looks like those weekends with my unit helped you considering you did a fine job at patching yourself up, I’m proud of you boy.” My father said sternly and compassionately.

Sunset looked over at me and then my dad then back at me before she spoke up, “so this is why you’re so calm, you’ve done military training with your dad?!?!”

“Yea, I’ve been put through the boot how many times sir?” I ask my dad who has now taken a seat on the edge of the bed looking me over.

“This summer would be 8 times unless you don’t think you’ll need another go, I might stick you with the medics since you still need a bit more training in that field,” he said to me while examining my on the fly patch up.

“So you’ve been doing this since you were 10 years old?” Sunset said to me astounded that a parent would do something like that to a child.

“It’s not that bad, my dad challenges me to be the best I can be. His philosophy is ‘know your limits then push past them by any means necessary’.” I say to Sunset while my dad repeats the family philosophy with me.

“Mom is in the other room across from this one, they pumped her stomach and put her on a charcoal solution with an IV, I haven’t gotten any updates on her condition yet sir.” I tell my dad who just nods and looks at the doctors who are just standing around waiting for a chance to interject.

“Copy that, I’m going to see your mother and adjust the plan of attack accordingly, if you need anything from me or the guard you know what number to call my boy,” my father said as he made towards the door.

“Your dad is very cold and emotionless,” Sunset said as she held my hand gently rubbing her thumb over the back of mine as I lay in the hospital bed.

“Okay Mr. Pierce time to get you stitched up,” one doctor said as he came into the room wheeling in a cart with everything that was needed to clean out and close the wound on my face, “Miss I’m going to have to ask you to leave while we treat your boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I say to the doctor as he prepares to get started.

Sunset sat there still holding my hand gently knowing it was calming me down, “I’ll go check on your mom.” Sunset said as she let go of my hand while getting up from the chair next to me.

“Tell me how she’s doing please,” I ask as I watch her walk towards the door.

“I’ll let you know.” Sunset replied barely any emotion in her voice as she stopped in the door way and looked back at me.

“Let’s get crackin’ Doc, I’d like to go home before dinner time and I haven’t had any thing to eat today,” I say as I felt the bed rise upwards so that I was sitting upright.

***

In the hall Sunset broke down and started hyperventilating as she leaned her back against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks openly sobbing unable to control the flood of emotions and the heavy feeling of helplessness washing over her. This wasn’t how she wanted to spend the weekend let alone even witness, not even as a passerby on the street. “How can he be so strong, no pony should have to go through that in their life ever.” She whispers under her breath questioning everything about what she’s learned about her classmate.

Footsteps echoed past as doctors rushed by with patients on gurneys barking out orders trying to save lives with what little time they had.

“He’s gonna be okay kiddo,” a gruff voice said to her.

“How do you know that, the physical injuries sure I can see that but what about the mental scars and everything that comes with this?” Sunset choked out through sobs.

“His mother wasn’t always like this ya know, he was about 7 when she changed. My job can be demanding and with that we are constantly moving around a lot, it’s not ideal especially when you have a kid and a wife who’s a drunk,” Nathaniel senior said, stoic as always.

“What happened if you don’t mind my asking?” Sunset said in a shaky voice.

“Well it started when he was 7 my wife had a horrible miscarriage where she needed to be hospitalized, after she recovered and came home the depression set in and that’s when she started to become obsessive and overprotective,” senior said.

“I’ve noticed how he’s reserved and just sticks to himself most of the time but we only have two classes together, phys ed and speech.” Sunset explained, “he’s incredibly smart and his way with words is just…” Sunset trailed off as she thought of what to say, “Mr Pierce?”

“Yes Sunset?” He replied in a calm tone.

“Alec was saying how you move around a lot for your job, he really likes it here from what I can tell. When I was helping him before he rushed over in my car, he wants to stay here and wants you to stay here.” Sunset said a small tremble in her voice.

“He’s told me,” he replies not knowing what to say, “well I better be getting back to the base, gods know what those recruits are doing, please look after him he’s a good kid just a little fucked up.”

"But he won't even give me the time of day in class, he's critical of everything especially when in speech class and he doesn't sit with anyone in the lunch room; he just sits in the back minding his own business," Sunset stammers out getting a little flustered.

"I can say this about my son miss. Shimmer, he's observant, sometimes overly so to the point where he comes off as scary. But if he trusted you enough to come over and help him when things got fucked up I can say with absolute confidence and certainty that you are apart of only 3 people that my son trusts with his life. Sure he can be extremely abrasive at times but observe and come to your own conclusions about Alec, with that I must be going." Senior said as he swiftly walked away down the hall.

"So do you wanna get out of here and go home, I'll cook lunch for ya," I say to Sunset.

"Ahhh, what the fuck how long wer—", Sunset screams out jumping in fright as I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe a couple minutes at most, let's get out of here. Mom is gonna stay here for a while maybe a few weeks." I reply as I start to walk down the hall following the plaquards directions on the wall to get out of the hospital.

"Lumch would be nice, if you can cook." Sunset quipped with a small smile touching her lips.

Author's Note

Short chapter this time, sorry for the delay busy with adulting

Kozmic Blues

The drive home seemed to drag on since the adrenaline from earlier had worn off completely, I kept looking in the little mirror on the visor at my face studying the stitches that made a trail from between my eyebrows down the bridge of my nose to the top of my right nostril.

"Alec," Sunset called to me in a soft voice as she gently shook my left shoulder.

I snap out of my trance by shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I flip the visor up with a small thump as I turn my head to look at Sunset as she calls my name again, all I hear is a faint ringing in my ears while sunset's voice is slowly drown out by the noise of traffic.

"Hello, earth to Alec anyone home?" Sunset said a bit louder and shook my shoulder a bit harder this time.

I blink slowly at her studying her face the best I could, I take a deep breath and only mouth out one word. "Why?"

"What do you mean?" She asked keeping her focus on driving.

"Why, why did this happen. What did I do to warrant this happening to me?" I ask in a quiet shaky voice.

"I don't know Alec, I don't know." Sunset replied to me as she gently rolled to a stop in the turn lane waiting for a break in traffic.

"Do you think I'm broken?" I ask as I lean my head on my hand as I look out the passenger side window.

Sunset took a breath and exhaled not knowing what to say to my question, turning after a break in the long line of oncoming traffic she gets down the road a little bit before pulling over on the side with her hazard lights on, the soft rhythmic click of the relay fills the car as she turns to me placing a hand on my shoulder and another hand interlacing with mine.

"You've had to shoulder a lot from a young age and yet you're top of our class besides Twilight, what you've been through I do not wish on my most hated enemy. You've shown to a lot of people that you can overcome anything, you've proven to me that you are strong and don't give up on anything," Sunset says to me tears forming at the corners of here eyes, "did you deserve what you've been through, no, do I think that you are strong, very much so; stronger than anyone that I've met besides two other people from a previous life that I left behind."

"You’re a good friend Sunny, let’s go home and I’ll make us some lunch.” I say to her as I wipe a year off her cheek with my thumb.

The rest of the drive home was the longest I've ever experienced, longer than the constant cross country drives when we were relocating.

♡♡♡

The house reeked of stale booze when I opened the front door, the thick stagnant air was suffocating to breath in as we moved further towards the living room.

Looking to my right and seeing the pool of my blood on the floor and soaked into the rug that lay in the dining room, I shook my head and gingerly placed a hand over my stitches.

I turn back to what I was doing, walking over to the record player that sat atop the stereo stand along the wall I open the plastic lid and look down at the album sitting on the deck of the turn table.

"What are you doing?" Sunset asked as she slowly looked over the carnage of what happened earlier.

"Music, not only for the distraction but for calming me down," I say as I press in the power button on the stereo, turning the knob from the FM band to the Phono setting.

"Whatare you putting on?" Sunset curiously asked as I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"You'll see, one of my favorite albums by this band. It inspired me to teach myself guitar and write my own music," I told her as I carefully lay the needle on the edge of the record.

The soft rhythmic popping and low thrum of slight static filled the empty house before the first notes of music filled the air.

"Country music, really. This is something Applejack would listen to." Sunset scoffed slightly as she gently removed her hand from my shoulder and wormed it around my waist.

"Not country exactly, southwestern rock," I reply as I move my arm to wrap around her shoulder holding Sunset close to me as I watched the center of the record spin around in circles.

"What's the difference cause I'm not hearing one, there's a harmonica and guitars, a small hint of a banjo probably."

I look over to Sunset and whisper in her ear, "I'm not getting into this with you right now."

"I'm just teasing you Alec, don't get too hung over it," she whispers back in my ear, having to stand on her toes to reach.

"I know, Sunny. It's that music and art have been my only friend since I was introduced at a young age. Until I met you that is." I say in soft tone.

"So you haven't had friends at the other schools before coming to Canterlot high?" She says in disbelief.

"Nope, not true friends that I've actually let into my life like I have with you," I tell her as I give her shoulder a small playful squeeze.

"Must be lonely," Sunset muttered under her breath as she moved around to where we were face to face.

"It is, constantly moving every few months to a year. Not really connecting with anyone on a deep level, always being the new kid in school." I say while I let go of Sunset.

I slowly walk over to the wet bar, knowing that my stash is in plain sight and no one has noticed in the last 5 years.

"What are you getting Alec?" Sunset asked.

"Just something to take the edge of," I say as I open the upper cabinet of the bar, running my hand on the upper shelf trying to find what I was looking for.

The soft thump of the turntable needle up against the paper label in the center notified me to turn the record to the B side.

Author's Note

How is everyone doing, late update on this one cause life and those adult responsibilities get in the way of writing or expanding upon chapters. I've tried to stick to a regular release schedule of anywhere from 5-7 days but sometimes things happen.

Somebody to love

"Enough about me, tell me more about yourself Sunset. I don't know anything about you except that you're loyal to your friends and would help anyone depending on the situation," I say as I pass the joint to her while motioning to the stitches running down my face.

"Well without going into detail on where I'm from," she starts before taking the joint from my fingers, "there's not much to say I guess I mean I don't think you'd understand if I told you."

Gingerly inhaling and holding the joint with her index and thumb before shifting it to tap the ash off in the glass of water I had on the coffee table in the living room. The sound of music shifted from rock music onto jazz, the mood is set in the living room as smoke filled the air giving a layer of haze to everything.

"There's not much to tell really, if I'd have to be brutally honest with you Alec, I'm very monodimentional really." Sunset continued.

"Try me Sunny, you know a little bit more about me and now I want to know a little bit more about you. I'm not having you spill everything all at once just as much as you're willing to share. No judgment." I say in a soft tone as I gently take her free hand in mine.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She replies quickly.

"I want to get to know you more, I want to hear your story." I say with a soft voice.

"I'm not ready to, it's something that's tough for me to tell." Sunset tells me as she looks away.

"And that's your choice, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Go at your own pace love, no rush." I tell her as I gently cup her cheek with a hand while bringing her gaze back to mine, a blush forms across her face and a nervous chuckle escapes her lips.

Sunset's phone chimed on the coffee table one new text after the other, she shifted from the couch to see who was trying to get ahold of her.

RARITY

Just checking in on you darling i hope you are okay since you didnt come to band practice today.

Was it what we talked about yesterday after school?

RAINBOW DASH

where were you Sunset, we had practice today ya know. A simple text would have been great.

“Great looks like I missed band practice today.” Sunset said as she looked at the texts from her friends.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t know you were busy today.” I replied as I got up to flip the record to the other side.

“Oh don’t worry about it, I’ll actually bring you to band practice tomorrow so the girls understand why I was absent.” She giggled out slumping down in the couch.

“You don’t have to do that,” I tell Sunset as I grab another joint from my stash. “I just normally keep to myself you know that, it would be awkward just joining in on your band and friend group.”

“You don’t have to worry about it, the girls are very welcoming, you’ll like them hell you just might have to show up Rainbow with your guitar playing.” Sunset jests while lightly hitting my arm.

“What time do you want me to go over to the school if it’s open on a Sunday.” I question

Sunset bursts out laughing at my response, “I didn’t think you’d actually want to go but if you are serious about this then bring your guitar and everything else you want, just not the joints you have stashed the girls don’t really do that kinda thing except Fluttershy I thing.” She said through giggles.

Sunset couldn’t control her laughter after her first giggle fit not having a care in the world she fell on top of me completely unaware of what happened.

“I’ll go, I’ve been looking to challenge myself musically.” I say as I start to giggle alongside her.

“You’re the only one I’d do this with, the girls are too stuck up for this maybe not Fluttershy but I know that the others would never do this kind of thing.” She says in a familiar tone, the giggles completely stopped and a new emotion came to the surface.

“I know how you mean, my friend, well she was at the time; she gave me my first joint and we would hang and smoke up all the time until I had to move. I haven’t found another friend to just relax with or smoke up with.” I tell Sunset who was looking up at me from my lap, “not until I met you,”

Switching positions Sunset crawled on top of me and takes my face in her hands looking at me intensely before softly speaking “Alec.”

Looking back into her eyes not knowing what to do I reply in a shaky voice, “y—yes Sunset?”

“I want you to join us for practice tomorrow, no backing out do you hear me!?” She said sternly with a fire in her eyes.

“You’re cute when you are serious you know that, and yes I’ll go with you only on one condition.” I reply with a playful tone.

A deep blush runs across her face to her ears. “What might that be?” Sunset says in a breathy voice.

I place both hands under her thighs making sure I had a good hold on her before I quickly stand up, “let me make you dinner and then we can go to bed, before you protest about it I’m not letting you drive stoned.” I say in a stern voice before I walk her over to the kitchen.

I feel her legs wrap around my waist and her arms lock around my neck, I feel a light kiss on my neck as I set her down on the countertop. “What are you making?” Sunset asks hesitantly as she wrapped her arms and legs around me tighter and lightly kissed my neck.

“Food.” I deadpan.

“Okay goofball, do you need any help with making this food of yours?” She giggled softly in my ear while still holding the joint between her fingers.

I whisper back in her ear, “all you have to do is sit there and be beautiful, and tell me how it tastes you eat meat right?”

“Yes I do, and right now I’m starving.” Sunset begs as I let go of her to make my way over to the stove and get dinner prepared.

———

“How did you learn how to cook like this, also how have you not had a girlfriend yet?” Sunset asks before she took another bite of food.

“Don’t know but I’ve taught myself since I was about 7 years old, just another one of my many hobbies that I enjoy.” I reply a smile on my face knowing that I’m not eating alone again.

“Well looks like I’ll have to stay here with you since you know how to treat your guests.” Sunset says in a playful tone as she smiles at me.

“We’ll see about that. Depends on how your parents handle you being gone all the time if you’re over here for meals.” I quip back at her.

The look on her face turns from happy to sad in an instant as the spoon falls to the plate with a hard smack. “I don’t have a family, at least not a family that loves me for who I am anyways.” She said holding back tears.

“Sunset I know how you feel, as far as I’m concerned you’re already apart of my family and you are always welcome whenever you want to escape.” I tell her as I hold her hand in mine fingers interlaced together.

“You mean that, you’re not just playing with my emotions?” She cried out.

“I mean that whole heartedly, on top of that if you need anything at all I’ll be there for you.” I reply to sunset as I kiss her cheek.

After dinner you can sleep in my room, I’ll just be down the hall in the master bedroom.” I say to her as the last few bites of dinner were devoured.

I get up from the table and clear the plates taking them to the sink, filling it with hot water to soak overnight with the pots and pans. “Do you have anything for me to change into cause I’ve got your blood all over the front of my shirt.” Sunset said as she looked down at the bloodstained tank top she was wearing.

“I do, not sure if it’s in your size but I’ve got some shirts you can wear.” I reply as I shut the water off.

Sunset walked up to me and wrapped her hands around me and lightly sobbed. Placing a hand around her waist and another atop her head gently running my fingers through her hair I told her, “it’s gonna be okay Sunny, you’re gonna be okay. Let’s get to bed and sleep this off okay?”

“Will you sleep with me tonight, I have a hard time falling asleep in new places.” She said her voice muffled in my chest.

“Of course whatever makes you feel comfortable, if you need to take a shower there’s extra towels in the master bath, I’ll get you one of my shirts and a pair of my workout shorts.” I tell her as I let her go and lift her chin up so here eyes were locked onto mine.

“Thank you Alec, I love you.” She said in a small voice.

“Huh?” I replied not hearing her before she started for the stairs.

The dreamer

02:30

“Alec are you up, Alec!” Sunset nudged me while whispering loudly for my attention.

“Ugghhhuuu, what do you need Sunny, it’s probably about two in the morning.” I say groggily trying to blink my eyes to work properly after a phone screen illuminated my face.

“Did you really mean what you said at dinner?” She asks.

“Yes I did, every word. If you need more proof of that come here and I’ll prove it to you.”

Sunset shifted closer under the covers her bare skin touching mine as her hands run over my back stopping over the scar that was in the middle of my back. Tracing the raised flesh sent chills down my spine, my hands running up Sunset's lower back to her shoulder blades feeling a scar on the left side of her shoulder blade.

"Please, d—donnnn mmmhhnnnn" Sunset moaned out.

"Sensitive?" I whispered into her ear then gently nibbled around her earlobe.

"Very seenswahhhmmmmnnn." She half screamed through heavy panting as I kissed and nibbled at her collarbone up to her neck, her nails trailed across my back with just enough pressure to tingle.

Short shallow gasps and moans escaped her lips each time I traced the scar on her left shoulder blade, "how did you get that scar on your back?" I said between kisses I trailed down her neck to her collarbone.

"My mom had a studded belt and well... you know." Sunset quietly said as she traced the scar on my back, "how did you get the one on your back?"

"Mom had her heels on and kicked me down the stairs because I wasn't moving fast enough, I was about 11." I reply to her my voice devoid of emotion.

"I'm sorry Alec, I'm so sorry for everything you had to go through." Sunset whispered into my chest.

"You don't have to be sorry about that Sunny you're not the one that made her do those things to me." I tell her.

"I know but just knowing that you've had to endure that abuse for so long, my heart breaks just knowing that someone as kind and caring as you had to put up with that..." She says, her face buried in my chest. I could feel wet drops on my bare skin from her crying, not only for me but also from what she's been through.

"I'm not gonna pry or force you to tell me about your childhood but I can tell that you've been through some abuse too, I am here for you, I see you and understand." I say to Sunset as I wrap my arms around her holding her close to me as she sobs uncontrollably onto my chest. "It's okay, you're safe there's nothing here that will hurt you I'm here for you."

"I love you Alec, you're so kind and gentle with me like no one else has been before." Sunset said through her sobs.

I kiss her forehead as I gently rub her back being careful to not touch the scar on her shoulder blade, Sunset lightly pushes me away and starts to get up.

"What's wrong?" I ask concerned.

"Nothing I just need a glass of water is all." She replied as she carefully made her way out of the bed to the bathroom.

Her faint silhouette outlined in the moonlight coming through the semi transparent curtains of the sliding balcony door in the bedroom illuminated her figure, she moved like a shadow in the pale light towards the bathroom.

"You are beautiful Sunset." I tell her as she stopped in the doorway.

As I get up to follow her she turns to face me, my footsteps barely making a sound as I walk toward her over the carpeted floor careful not to trip over the clothes haphazardly strewn about. My hand gently grabbing her hip as I pull her close into me, a slight jump is all I felt as I wrap my arms around her one around her waist and the other over her shoulder.

"If you need to you can stay here with me or we can find our own place together away from all this madness." I whisper in her ear.

"I would like that, but first let's finish school then we can." She whispers back as I feel her kissing my chest lightly and ran her fingernails up and down my back and across my sides to my stomach.

My hands move across her body feeling every inch of her small waist and curvy hips, dancing my fingers across her sides and down her lower back past her ass to her thighs.

Little gasps and moans leaving Sunset's lips her slight shivers from her body as she pressed harder into me, her hard nipples and modest breasts pressing into my chest as her head found a resting spot in the crook of my neck.

I bend my knees a little and firmly grab her thick thighs ad hoist her up so her face was at the same level as mine, she looks into my eyes a melancholic yet seductive smile crosses her lips.

"I want you." Sunset whispers as she grinds her hips against me as I walk over to the bed and gently lay her down.

I kiss down her neck trailing my lips over her chest gently dragging my fingers down her sides as little gasps and throaty moans rang out in the cool night. My lips found her perfect breasts lightly nibbling around her nipples, slowly kissing down her toned stomach to her small waist.

Her hands grab my hair and start to push me further down, "not yet sweetheart." I tell her as I wrap my arms around her legs and lock her in place.

"Please, Alec." She moans out desperately as I kiss her thighs and drag my lips up and over her dripping slit then back down the other side.

"Please." Sunset moaned desperate to have the teasing end.

"As you wish." I reply softly, my hot breath washing over her mound before I kiss down her sparse public hair.

♡♡♡

Moans and screams filled the night as Sunset rode ontop of me like a woman possessed, "make me yours, I'm yours and no one else's." She screamed out as she slammed her hips down with an unmatched pace. Slaps of flesh filled the room along with heavy panting, the room smelled heavy of sex and weed.

“How did you get so good at this!” Sunset screamed out while slamming her hips down atop me then started to grind.

“Well it’s from sexual abuse mainly and I’d rather not get into that right now.” I quietly say under my breath.

Sunset stops and looks at me with a mortified expression on her face, slowly getting off me and moving to the side of the bed she just sobs.

“What’s wrong,” I say to her as I sit up in bed and slowly move over to sunset’s side.

“I don’t want it to be like this, I don’t want to take advantage of you for my own personal gain not again.” She says through her tears.

“You’re not taking advantage of me, at no point did I protest or stop,” I tell her as I wrap an arm around her in a small hug.

“That’s not the point, it’s the whole trauma thing with you and me. I don’t want a relationship built of of trauma and sexual tension it won’t work, it never works.” She sobs out hanging her head in her hands.

“Well let’s take it slow and go from there, even though we’ve already taken things too far.” I say to her.

“It’s too late to take things slow Alec, the damage has already been done. If we try and take things slow then it’s just gonna cause problems and I don’t want that for you,” Sunset protests as she moves away from me.

“No matter what damage has already been done to both of us, not only from our past but from what has happened today. I shouldn’t have forced you to help me.” I reply as I hold my head in my hands, my whole body shaking.

“I don’t know what to do now,” Sunset mutters.

“We take it one day at a time and do the best we can that’s what we do, now let’s get some sleep.” I tell her as I get up and walk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Sunset asks in a shaky voice.

“Gonna sleep on the couch, you can either sleep here or in my bed if you’d like good night Sunny, I’m sorry things escalated to this.” I reply as I walk out of the room.

One day at a time

05:45

“What the fuck have I done?” I say to myself as I pour myself another glass of whiskey, the joint hanging between my lips, the sweet smell bathing my face and lingering in the air. I hold the bottle up and notice it’s empty.

Setting it down with a small thud on the bar top I take a long drag from my joint and let the weed work its magic, “Morning came too early, and I’ve already finished off a bottle.” I mumble to myself as I make my way to the kitchen, “whats for breakfast today, do I want to do a breakfast skillet or biscuits and gravy.”

I get a pan from the cabinet setting it on the stovetop making sure not to make any loud noises incase Sunset was still asleep. I turn towards the fridge to get the carton of eggs, cheese, and the breakfast sausage, a white onion, and two bell peppers one red and one green then grabbing the butter; opening the freezer for the bag of hash browns which is all I needed to start breakfast.

I rummage around to find a cutting board so I can chop up the onion and bell peppers, getting a knife from the knife block and the steel I make a few passes to quickly hone the edge, slicing into the bell peppers I quickly gut the seeds and the undesirable bits out then chop them throwing them into the pan, the onion takes a bit longer blinking through watery eyes trying not to cut myself in the process.
I cut off a good chunk of butter and crack 6 eggs in the pan while I turn the burner on to medium low, taking a fork to whisk the raw eggs as the butter melts. Opening the bag of cheese I sprinkle some onto the eggs as they get firm in the pan, the smell of onions filled the air as I was too focused on my task to hear Sunset walk down the stairs.

“That smells good.” Sunset yawns out.

“Breakfast skillet, eggs, onion, bell peppers, breakfast sausage, and hash browns.” I slur out slightly swaying from the alcohol in my system.

“How did you sleep?” Sunset grunted as she stretched trying to wake up.

“I didn’t, downed a whole bottle of whiskey and two joints, still couldn’t get to sleep.” I reply while turning up the burner on the stove as I cut open the tube of meat and plop it down in the pan hearing the sizzle of pork on hot metal.

"Oh, how are you still up and moving after a whole bottle of whiskey and two joints?" She asked as she walked over to me curious as to what I'm making.

"Don't know, but breakfast will be done in a little bit. I've still gotta make the hash brows." I say as I mix everything together.

"Well it smells amazing." Sunset commented as she wrapped her arms around me resting her head on my back.

"There's no need for sorry, we were both fucked up last night." I tell her as I turn down the heat on the stove.

"I know but I didn't know that you wer...." Sunset says before she pauses not able to say the last part.

"It's okay Sunny, there was no way for you to know." I tell her as I turn to face her.

"That still doesn't excuse what I did." She says in a small tone of voice avoiding my gaze.

"It's in the past now so let's move forward and not dwell, how do you like your hash browns." I reply to her grabbing the pan I washed last night.

"How are you so calm about this, I thought you'd be angry or avoid me all together." She retorts confusion and a slight hint of anger in her voice.

"No I'm not mad at you, the reason why I'm so calm about this is because it doesn't matter to me it's in the past even though that was what like three hours ago?" I tell her as I turn back to the stove, "besides, today is a new day for both of us and we've got things to do so once again; how do you like your hash brows?"

"Crispy, how can you just ignore it?" She asks concern in her voice.

"I'm not ignoring it outright just compartmentalized it for a later date to take care of." I reply as I turn on the other burner and put the rest of the stick of butter in along with some olive oil, "could you open the bag of hash browns and wash them for me there's a towel to dry them."

"That's not healthy Alec." Sunset fumes as she slams a hand on the granite counter top, "you need to deal with this in a healthy way and not run from it!"

I stop everything I'm doing turning the burners on the stove to its lowest setting without turning it off. "And what the fuck would that look like, years of therapy and a whole metric ass load of wasted money?!? Or maybe just maybe you can sit down, shut your mouth about it and let me deal how I hae been for the last ten fucking years of this shit life that I was so fucking blessed to have!

"I'm not telling you to go to therapy but I am telling you to deal with it, talk to me about it at the very least." Sunset begs.

"I am dealing with it how I please, just because you want to talk about it doesn't mean I want to so sit down I will have breakfast done in a little bit." I say with utter defeat in my voice knowing that Sunset is right, wanting to talk about what happened would help set boundaries but at the same time it would be counter productive when I haven't processed it all.

"Okay, you don't have to be an ass about it and yes I know you're fucked up right now after a whole bottle of whiskey and who knows how many joints but at least be reasonable about this and talk to me as an adult or whenever you're ready to open up more." Sunset replied as she pulled out a chair and took her seat.

"Sorry I freaked out or rather blew up, there's a lot running in my head at the moment and it's going to take a while to process, once again I'm sorry." I say through slightly slured speech now as the alcohol is starting to catch up to me.

A few moments later I get two plates from the upper cabinet and load them up with breakfast.

later that afternoon: Sweet Apple Achers

"I hate this part of heavily drinking sometimes, why can't cope with shit in a normal way?" I say in a ragged tone as I am on my hands and knees behind the red barn at Sweet Apple Achers.

"Well that's what you fuckin git fer drinkin' whole damn bottle of whiskey before breakfast." Applejack said as she spat out a mouth full of dip spit.

"You got a pinch AJ could use something to take the edge off." I ask while slowly getting up trying to stand like a newborn fawn.

"Imma level with ya buddy, that's the last thing ya need right now if I were you I'd get some water in ya then lay down before I have Sunny take ya to the hospital." Applejack said bluntly as she helped me to my feet.

"I can agree to the water but I've had worse hangovers before, and I don't wanna light a cig in a hay barn cause I ain't that retarded." I say to her before I spit out the gathered saliva, bile, and what was breakfast that was lingering in my mouth. "You got a water spigot I can run my head under and get this awful taste outta my mouth?"

"Yea right over here." She said as she guided me to the old pump style spigot. "Hope ya don't mind well water, maybe yall should lay down for a bit buddy before ya have a spit again."

"Well water ain't a problem, grew up on it actually and I'm stable enough to stand, I may be a bit wobbly when playing with y’all though." I say as Applejack pumped the handle, a few seconds later water came rushing out of the large tongue spout into a bucket beneath.

"If ya say so partner, but as for first impressions I ain't impressed can't say for the others but I know that they ain't pleased with ya, specially Dash." Applejack said coldly.

"Don't care at the moment head too fuzzy to put serious thought into first impressions right now. Plus I ain't this bad normally. Had one helluva start to the weekend if you didn't know, been dealing with some family shit lately that I'd rather not get into with someone I just met hope you understand." I say as I cup some water in my hands and splashed it on my face, "not cause I don't trust ya you seem honest in how you hold yourself but to be frank it ain't none of your business unless you're directly involved." I take afew small sips of water in my cuped hand spitting out the last little bit onto the ground.

"No I totally get it, ain't my place to pry into someone's family affairs let alone your personal affairs neither." Applejack shot back before turning to walk away towards the barn.

"She's nice if not a bit blunt." I say under my breath as I watch Applejack walk away, "she's got that nice country girl figure and a pretty face."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, after she helped you too that's shallow man." A voice said behind me.

"Great, another one to criticize me today?" I say as I turn around only to be face to face with a girl with rainbow hair.

"Well first off not the greatest first impression, spewing your guts out, still drunk and stumbling reeking of booze and weed, and making sexual comments about my best friend?" She said, her words dripping with venom and contempt. "You're on my shit list buddy, I'm only doing this because Sunset says you can play guitar well and she wanted to have you meet her friends."

"That's fair, I don't expect you to like me or even relate to me at all outside of music so if you don't mind let's get to jammin' okay?" I reply as I stumble around and walk slowly to the barn.

"Dude you can't even walk straight and I doubt you can even play properly given your current state." The rainbow haired girl laughed out following behind me.

"Wanna bet on it then?" I fire back.

"What's the bet?" She replied coldly.

"20 bucks on a song battle, give me the chords and I'll play along with you guys, and vice-versa for one of my songs I wrote." I stated, giving a crooked smile.

"I'll take your bet cause like I said before, I doubt you can play right now." She playfully shot back at me.

"Then we gotta deal?" I say as I hold out a fist.

She slammed her fist into mine and walked away, shoulders broadened in an over confident manner.

Author's Note

Sorry fe the late chapter, things have been hectic lately but good news is the story isn't dead just aljttke bit delayed from writers block and personal emergencies that life throws at us.

For what it's worth

Leaning against Sunsert's car I puffed away at the cigarette between my lips I saw Sunset walking out along with Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy. All of the girls looked like they were on the verge of tears, especially Fluttershy who ran up to me and gave me a tight hug softly telling me that everything would be okay and she understands what I'm going through.

"I just thought you were a shy transfer student darling, but after hearing you explain what you went through and are going through hits different and now makes a lot of sense on why you've been keeping to yourself." Rarity said trying not to cry when she spoke.

"I haven't told anyone what has been going on because it's my burden to bare not yours, but I will admit that I am having second thoughts of telling everyone." I reply as I lower my arm to ash my cig.

"Well if I'm being honest y’all need to tell someone about it, mainly a therapist or someone that can properly help ya." Applejack spoke up.

"You're right AJ but I have a feeling that if I do talk to a therapist things will get more complicated and all I want to do is coast by and graduate before all that happens. It would be less trouble for my dad and his position in the guard, and he will see me differently if I do." I explain not sure if I made my point clear.

"That don't make a lick of sense and you know it!" Applejack stated, practically yelling at me.

"It doesn't have to make sense to you, trust me when I say I have a plan but I just need to graduate first or it won't happen. I'm trying to keep CPS and any government entities involved off my fuckin ass, so, if anyone here breaths a word to the school councilors or to anyone I will find out who it is." I yell back at the farm girl, "I didn't want to tell anyone for a while but Rainbow kinda forced my hand on that one."

"But you need to tell someone, it may be the only thing that'll help you in the long run." Fluttershy said as she looked up at me with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Trust me when I say that I will but I am still waiting for the right time to do so." I say with a calm tone.

"Darli—" Rarity said as I cut her off, giving her a look that could melt glass.

"I don't want to hear it, everyone just drop it because I don't need pity right now." I spat out while I nudged Fluttershy who clung to me like those Styrofoam packing peanuts to release me from her grasp.

"You don't have to talk about it right now but I hope you find the strength to open up soon, and it's not pity Alec it's genuine concern." Fluttershy said as she released me, "I know it feels like pity right now but trust me it's not."

"I know, I want everyone to drop it for now. Pinkie promise to drop it." I say as I look at everyone surrounding me.

More concerned looks and a few awkward arm scratches or murmers was all I got from the group, all except Pinkie pie who followed through with the promise.

"If anyone breaths a word of this to anyone at school tomorrow, and I do mean anyone, I will pack my shit up and leave not telling a soul were I'm going or plan on going. Got it?" I proclaim as I look between everyone's faces.

The atmosphere was heay with what had just happened and the girls didn't look too happy about what I just said, only Sunset and Pinkie knowing that I would make good on my promise of leaving if anything that was mentioned got out.

"Do you want to go home?" Sunset softly said asshe took my hand trying to comfort me.

"I'm fine, just need a Tylenol or something and water to calm myself down right now." I said back softly as I retracted my hand from Sunset's grasp.

inside the barn

Rainbow Dash was slowly packing up her guitar still in shock of what happened, tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"Why?" Was all she could repeat to herself, "why did that drunk asshole have t—" Rainbow stopped and looked up to who was coming into the barn.

I walked in slowly shuffling my feet as I make my way over to my guitar case and amp, I look over to see Rainbow staring at me with a look I couldn't quite place. It wasn't a look of pity nor was it anger, her facial expression was one of pain and utter defeat morphing into slight twists of sorrow.

"Take a picture it lasts longer you know." I say in a cold unfeeling tone as I start to wrap up my cables.

"Why would I?" Rainbow replied back to me in a hushed tone only loud enough for me to hear.

"Cause you seem interested but don't know how to ask let alone are afraid to for that matter." I counter, putting the cables into my pedal board making sure everything fit in its place before grabbing the removable lid and closing everything up making sure everything was latched.

"Shut the fuck up, I hate people like you who are constantly looking through everyone you meet and thinking you know them right away." Rainbow said annoyed as she packed up her gear.

"While I do agree with you on that, and yes, I do sometimes do that; I really don't care enough to get to know any of you if I'm being honest. And as harsh as that may sound I do see right through you, your brash attitude tells me everything about you, parents that told you that you can do anything, that you have a natural talent for a multitude of things, and a very high if not downright annoying charisma." I tell her as I pick up my guitar case and pedal board.

I make my way for the exit before I hear a light sob, looking back I see that Rainbow is sitting on her amp with her head held in her hands.

"And there you go again seeing right through me without getting to know me just like everyone else." Rainbow chokes out wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I also know you're loyal like a dog, someone who won't abandon your friends. Maybe a little too overprotective I might add because the same could be said about you looking through me without getting to know me." I reply as I walk away towards Sunset's car.

◆♡◆♡

"Hey Sunny can you open the trunk for me?" I ask as I make a bee line towards the car.

Looking around I see that all eyes are on me boring deeper into me as hushed whisperes fill the small circle of friends that quickly glance away then back again in my direction then back to each other in a quick hurried manner.

"What's with the secret meeting everyone?" I ask as I set down my stuff by Sunset's car.

"Oh its nothing darling, just discussing girly things not that you'd understand anything about that." Rarity said through nervous giggles.

"Oh really, so this has nothing to do with the quick glances my way or the fact that Applejack is beat red and looks like she's wanting to strangle me right now?" I reply back, trying to get information out of them.

"Not at all darling, like I said just some girl talk about things." Rarity proclaimes with a little nervous chuckle eyes darting between Sunset and me.

"Are you sure, you look nervous like you know something and you want to tell someone." I probe a little bit more.

"Not at all." Rarity defends her self, the desperation in her voice saying 'leave this alone' oozes over the quick statement.

"Are you positive there's nothing you want to say, absolutely nothing you want to ask me about? I mean you are looking between me and Sunset quote a lot and your eyes have been stealing quick glances at the crotch of my jeans more and more." I slyly say with a smile knowing full well that Rarity knows what happened, "look I know you know and if you want to ask questions then don't bother I can't remember the last 24 hours let alone the last 18, just keep it to ypur immediate group cause if it got out that would make Sunset look bad and I know how word spreads like fire in high school especially this kind of fire."

"I’ll try my best to keep this between us but you know word is going to get out eventually.” Rarity said a small bit of sternness in her voice.

“I know that but say it was mutual between the both of us if you do hear the rumor mill start to turn.” I say with a tired tone, “so what’s everyone doing for the rest of the day, I know no one wants to play because of what happened which is understandably my fault but it had to be said regardless.”

“Oh not much really, I’ve got chores ta do.” Applejack said.

“I really don’t have anything going on the rest of the day, what about you Sunset?” Rarity spoke up shooting a glance at Sunset.

“Not much either now that you mention it, got all the important stuff done yesterday before I had to well you know.” She said as she looked between Rarity and me.

"Well I don't know about the both of you but I could take a nap for about the next two days, I am emotionally drained and have had one too many emotions for today." I said to the small group.