Don't use your friend for fun
At Ponyville's school, during the morning break, Silver Spoon had spotted the Cutie Mark Crusaders gathered in a corner of the playground. She hadn't talked to them in a while, so she was on her way, when she heard Scootaloo ask Sweetie Belle:
"Who's Rainbow Dash?"
"That's a weird question coming from her," Silver Spoon thought.
Only for Sweetie Belle to answer with a distant and mechanical voice:
"Rainbow Dash is a pegasus from Ponyville, most known for her acrobatic feats, such as the Sonic Rainboom, as well as being part of the Wonderbolts. She was also the bearer of the Element of Loyalty when the Elements of Harmony existed."
The voice itself wasn’t surprising. Everypony in school knew that Sweetie Belle was a robot-filly and that she had two different ways to talk. But that one was usually reserved for important things, like system failures, warnings and underburned meals.
"Hey, hi, Silver Spoon!" Apple Bloom joyfully said.
"Hello," she answered, still finding the previous discussion weird. "What are you girls doing?"
"Playing the Sweetipedia game," the yellow filly explained.
"I beg your pardon?"
"What's the list of enemies defeated by Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle.
The robotic filly sighed in exasperation before her gaze went distant, as she answered:
"Notable foes defeated by Rainbow Dash includes: Nightmare Moon, Discord, Ahuizolt, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, -"
"Who's King Sombra?" Scootaloo cut with an excited smile.
"King Sombra was the leader of-"
"I won!" the little pegasus exclaimed, barely listening to her friend still rambling on about Sombra. "Only three links!"
"Four," Apple Bloom corrected, before going back to Silver Spoon. "It's a game where we start from the definition of something and try to get to something else. Today we start with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and look for Sombra."
Silver Spoon wasn't really sure to understand all of this. She looked at Sweetie Belle as she ended her monologue, getting back to a more alive look on her face, albeit a slightly irritated one.
"Look, I'll do it," Apple Bloom said.
"Girls, I don't think I-" Sweetie Belle started.
"What are the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" Apple Bloom cut, getting an irritated groan out of her friend.
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders, often abridged CMCs, are a club of foals formed by three fillies from Ponyville. The founding members are Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Other members include Babs Seed and Gabby. The initial goal of the group was t-."
"What's Ponyville?" Apple Bloom said.
"Ponyville is a town south-west of Canterlot. It is a village with a long history and a few remarkable places, as it has become the center of attention all over Equestria since recent events. Notably, it is the home of Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"What's Equestria?"
"Equestria is a country located north of the Bone Dry Desert, and south of the Crystal Empire, with-"
"What's the Crystal Empire?" Apple Bloom followed, smelling victory.
"The Crystal Empire is an ancient country, best known for the crystal ponies inhabiting it, as well as the long history still hidden beneath and unknown to non-robots. It was recently rediscovered, as King Sombra returned to-"
"Who's King Sombra?" Apple Bloom concluded with a smugly little smile, looking at Scootaloo.
"King Sombra was the leader of-"
"Wait, wait, what about that part about the history hidden beneath whatever!?" Silver Spoon cut.
"Only three links," Apple Bloom said, not even paying attention. "Guess somepony won't be winning today."
"Aw..." Scootaloo pouted. "I knew I shouldn't have gone for my own link."
The young Apple turned to Silver Spoon, happily asking:
"Wanna play? I think we still have a bit of time before the bell rings."
"I don't know..." the filly replied, worryingly looking at Sweetie Belle.
The little unicorn had finished her monologue and was looking quite upset, as she muttered with a mechanical voice:
"Anger containment issue, please refrain from any annoying interactions for the upcoming min-"
"There, I'll do it for you," Apple Bloom cut without a care in the world, seeing Silver Spoon hesitate. "What are the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"
Sweetie Belle went again for her description of the group, while Apple Bloom whispered to the gray filly:
"There, now you just have to follow up with a question about something she said."
"Yeah, I got that part."
Silver Spoon carefully listened to Sweetie Belle, trying to get the game right. But she took a lot of time, whereas Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had been quite fast to bounce off something their friend said. And the robotic filly kept on dispensing her knowledge like a badly researched three hour video-essay.
"Huuu... You're sure you understood...?" the little pegasus asked.
"Shh!" Silver Spoon almost cut her, still listening.
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders often reunite in their clubhouse, located in the Apple family's orchard. It is a tree hut, accessible by a stair-like ramp, composed of-"
"What are stairs?" Silver Spoon intervened, attracting some confused gaze from Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
"Stairs are a type of architectural structure often used in constructions to allow movement-"
"Are you sure you understood the game?" Apple Bloom asked, worried. "You have to get to Sombra."
"I know that," Silver Spoon assured. "Trust me."
"You're going to take a while," Scootaloo pointed out.
"I don't think so," the little gray filly confidently said.
All three of them listened to Sweetie Belle's encyclopedic rambling for a few minutes, detailing the history of stairs throughout the ages with an odd accuracy and attention to detail. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo became more and more convinced that Silver Spoon was messing with them. That is, until...
"Some stairs who played a notable role in recent history includes, but are not limited to: Canterlot's Royal castle's stairs and their white marches, King Sombra's infinite stairs, the Manehattan's stairs featured in the movie J-"
"Who's King Sombra?" Silver Spoon asked, to the two fillies bafflement.
"King Sombra was the leader of-"
"So, that's one link if I understood correctly?" the gray filly said with a self-satisfied smile.
"I don't..." Scootaloo stuttered. "How did you do that!?"
"I just paid attention when Twilight came to school and told us about that event last week," Silver Spoon replied, raising her muzzle with dignity.
"I don't think there's any beating that..." Apple Bloom whispered, still shocked. "I think that's the best score anyone ever did."
"And on your first try!?" Scootaloo followed, amazed.
Sweetie Belle finally ended her long monologue, pushing a deep annoyed sigh trying to contain herself, asking with her normal voice:
"Does this mean it's over? We can move on to something else?"
"Yeah, I think so," Apple Bloom nodded.
"Thank Celestia," the little unicorn let out in a deep breath.
"Alright," Scootaloo said. "How about this time we try to get to that thing we learned today in class?"
"No," Sweetie Belle slowly said in an increasingly angry tone.
Silver Spoon looked at Sweetie Belle with concern, saw her legs twitching from exasperation, and cautiously took a step back.
"Algebra?" the yellow earth-filly replied with an arched eyebrow. "I think that would take a lot of time just for one run."
"Girls," Sweetie Belle attempted. "I really don't think it's-"
"Let's try!" Scootaloo cut with excitement, impatient to get her revenge. "And this time, I'll play the long game like Silver Spoon did. Sweetie Belle, who are the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"
The half-robotic filly growled before the mechanical voice took over:
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders, often abridged CMCs, were a club of three fillies from Ponyville."
"Wait, what do you mean were?" Apple Bloom asked.
"The club sadly met an unfortunate end when two of its memberspissed off the processor of the third one, until she finally gave in. No remains of the two fillies could be found by the local authorities."
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged a silent concerned gaze, while Silver Spoon took more than a step back. Sweetie Belle's eyes took on a red color, that filled both her iris and the part usually white, the voice becoming even more distorted as she continued with a threatening tone:
"This section of the article is incomplete. Would you like to contribute by adding more details?"
"I... think we'll pass," Scootaloo tried.
"Are you certain?" Sweetie Belle insisted, a little strident sound slowly rising from her chest, like some special program preparing to be launched.
"Yeah..." Apple Bloom hesitantly said. "Uuuuh... It's time for class anyway."
"Should the program be killed?"
"What...?" Silver Spoon whispered with fear.
"Yes, stop the program!" Scootaloo ordered, used to that kind of way of talking to the robot side of her friend.
Sweetie Belle's red eyes vanished in a few seconds, the noise stopping, as her normal voice returned, still exasperated.
"Thank you!"
"Man, you look really scary like that," Apple Bloom giggled, as if all of this was normal.
"I think she was really about to kill you both," Silver Spoon pointed out, still a good bit away from them.
"Nah, she would never do that," Scootaloo said, waiving a nonchalant hoof, before looking at Sweetie Belle for confirmation.
The unicorn stared at her with a face that clearly showed she was considering the scenario.
"R-Right...?" the little pegasus asked, suddenly afraid.
"She can't hurt ponies anyway, she's programmed that way," Apple Bloom reminded.
"That's correct," Sweetie Belle confirmed. "As long as my chip is in place, I can't hurt anypony."
"Didn't it burn like last week when you were struck by lightning?" Scootaloo asked, suddenly remembering.
The three friends looked at each other, while Silver Spoon's face was displaying a real concern.
"Nah, I'm sure it's fine," Apple Bloom finally said.
Author's Note
Idk I've been enjoying writing stories that are just one situation and nothing else lately. A nice break from all the times were I just add and add.
Hesitated on making this one really comedy-focused, but I think I'll be doing a couple of those in the near futur so, yeah, light comedy slice of life it is.
