Midnight Psychosis

Fluttershy gave the last of her thanks to a still-sheepish Twilight before following her marefriend out of the library. She shut the door quietly and trotted to catch up with Dash. They walked together in silence for a few minutes, occasionally sharing the odd glance, but otherwise keeping to themselves.

Fluttershy periodically stared over at the other pegasus, her mind throwing seemingly random thoughts back and forth. I'm so mad at myself. She got hurt because of me. Was it my fault, though? I don't even know anymore. I just want my normal life back.

Dash smiled at her marefriend for a second. "I'm glad you're back to normal, Shy." She chuckled. "I hate admitting when stuff scares me, but... that scared me."

Fluttershy nodded. "Me too." She paused, looking away again. "... I really am sorry about your wings."

"Shy..." Dash began, nuzzling Fluttershy's neck softly. "You don't owe anything to me. Or anypony else. We're all in for anything that could happen." She looked away. "You remember that time I was in the hospital?"

"You have to be more specific," Fluttershy replied, giggling.

"When I shattered the bone in my leg after that crash two years ago."

"Yeah..."

Dash sighed quietly. "We weren't dating yet, but you still hung around a lot more than anypony else. You even stayed the night at the hospital sometimes." She paused, her pace slowing for a second as she formed her words carefully. "My point is, you've always been there for me, Shy. And now that it really matters, of course I'm here for you."

Fluttershy looked over at her marefriend, who was looking at her hooves and smiling softly. "... I can't..." she murmured, her words suddenly dead in her mouth. "You... y..." she trailed off, feeling herself flush. "Without you, I... I wouldn't still be here, Dash. You... I can't repay you for that, ever."

"You already pushed yourself to save both of us, Shy," Dash replied firmly. "There's no 'debt' here. Nopony owes anypony else anything. What happened happened." She smiled as she glanced over at her marefriend, and flicked an ear. "Don't think like that."

The setting changed as the pair left Ponyville and began their walk through the light forest to Fluttershy's cottage. The last bit of sunlight cast the trees around them a deep, delicious red.

Fluttershy sighed to herself and flapped her wings in frustration. At least let me try, Dash... She looked up with sudden wonder at the world around her. I'm living on borrowed time now, aren't I? She shuddered as such an unusually dark thought crossed her mind.

Dash noticed, and nuzzled her again, beginning to walk a bit closer to her. "You cold?"

"No..." she replied softly as they began the ascent to her cottage's front door. As they reached the steps, a sudden compulsion gripped Fluttershy. She turned to her marefriend, her eyes tingling (from joy or frustration, she didn't know), and leaned in slowly for a kiss. Her eyes closed and she felt a hoof on her cheek. The last rays of the sun died out as the quiet endearment continued. When it ended, Fluttershy's cheeks were already wet with tears.

Dash opened her eyes momentarily, and took Fluttershy's chin in her hoof, raising her head until their eyes were level. "I..." She looked away, a blush just barely visible on her cheeks. "D-don't cry. Come on, let's go inside."

~~~~|

Darkness. A lone hoof reaches out from the depths, but no matter how close it gets, it's just not close enough...

Dash's eyes snapped open. She sat bolt upright in bed, a cold sweat on her forehead. She looked to the right - and sighed, relieved. Everypony was where they should be. She shook her head and smiled at her own insecurity, before lying back down next to her marefriend and laying a hoof over her -

A stuttering gasp ran through the air.

Dash slipped out of bed, pulling the covers off with her. She'd been lying next to a lump of pillows and blankets. She whipped her head around and desperately looked out the window, before a quiet voice killed her anxiety. "Dash?"

"...Fluttershy?" she asked with a short sigh. She turned her head back to the door, where her marefriend was standing, the most guilty of looks on her face.

"I-I'm sorry, I just -"

"It's okay, Shy," Dash interrupted, closing her eyes and shaking her head tiredly. "I just got scared."

"I - I know. I'm sorry..." Her sentence seemed to echo around the room. She swallowed nervously. "I - um - I was going to go out to the - the lake, to just... sit and think, I guess... I didn't mean to scare you," she added, looking at her hooves.

Dash coughed. "It's okay, Shy. Just..." She trailed off momentarily, before looking back out the window behind her. "How long have you been... leaving like this?"

"Oh, it was long before any of this happened," Fluttershy explained hurriedly. "Sometimes it was in the middle of the day, sometimes the night. Sometimes I went with happy thoughts, and... well, other times, not. I... guess I..."

"... You still wanna go?" Dash asked quietly.

"You don't have to come along, Dash - I mean, you haven't slept for a while, so you should stay here and just..."

"I know, but... I have to make sure nothing goes wrong while I'm not around. Doesn't it usually happen at night?" She paused. "Plus, I... wanted to talk to you."

"Well, if you - if you want to, then..."

~~~~~

A walk to the lake at night wasn't something Fluttershy was entirely unaccustomed to, but it always felt out-of-place with life. Night ambiance was always owls and crickets and cool wind blowing through the treetops. No birdsong. No sunlight. Just darkness. It always made Fluttershy a bit jumpy.

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand when Dash broke the silence they'd been walking in for the last two minutes: "... What... never mind."

"What?"

"It - I'll wait until we get to the lake."

Fluttershy shook her head and looked away. She silently cast a wing over her marefriend, who smiled in the dark and nuzzled her cheek warmly in response. Fluttershy didn't return the nuzzle - she had already become retangled in her thoughts. I don't really deserve this. I shouldn't have left for the lake in middle of the night. I've already worried everypony enough. Why would I add to it?

Her attention was regained when she felt Dash stop, and looked out to the lake at her right. She couldn't remember the last time she saw it at night - even though it'd only been a few months ago. Her eyes tingled for a moment at that thought. What was happening to her mind?

She followed Dash (her head still lowered apologetically) to the soft cottony moss-covered earth on the edge of the water. Dash motioned for her to lie down next to her, and she obliged silently. Dash curled up next to her, laying a hoof on hers and staring out onto the darkened, rippling lake in front of them.

Dash opened her mouth as though to speak, but thought better of it and looked down at her and Fluttershy's hooves.

Fluttershy broke the silence first. "Dash..." she began, trying to remain confident. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Her voice broke. "There's nothing - nothing I can do that can - that can -"

"Shy -"

"No. There's nothing I can do to repay you for everything you've done for me."

"It wasn't something to make a big deal out of -"

"It's not just that. You've always helped me for no reason, and I've always been so selfish," she replied, her façade of confidence falling away. She nuzzled her marefriend's shoulder softly, familiar tears returning to her. She turned them away. "Ever since we were still in school. I don't know why you helped me the way you did. When all these problems started happening, you were there and you said you'd help and you did. And then I'm selfish about coming out to the lake, when I knew you already cared enough to be on edge about me, and you were - you just - I..."

Dash leaned closer to her marefriend. "Shy... stop." Fluttershy looked up from her shoulder, her face flushed. "There isn't anything you could do that could be considered selfish. Anything. You've helped me along in all kinds of ways." She smiled. "This -" she motioned between them with a hoof "- is one example. I can't tell you how long I liked you - like, 'liked' you liked you - before the Summer Sun Celebration last year. Just don't be so hard on yourself. There's no way I deserve that much gratitude."

"But -"

"If you want to do something for me, work on beating this sickness so I can... I mean, so we can get started again."

Fluttershy looked over at her marefriend, still fighting back tears. "I don't know... I don't know what to say. You - you're too kind, Dash," she said finally, casting a wing over her again and pulling her closer. She put her head in her hooves. "I can't... I'm so sorry..."

Dash nuzzled her cheek, smiling despite of herself. That was Fluttershy. "Stop saying the word 'sorry' for two minutes."

There was a profound silence that now echoed throughout the lake. A settled stillness that calmed Fluttershy just enough for her to regain control of herself. "... Try to do something... not for me. I'll try to be less of a burden, I promise."

"You have to be less hard on yourself. That's my condition," came the quiet reply.

"I will." A pause. "I'm sorry."

"What'd I just say?"

~~~~~

Dash grinned as Fluttershy laughed quietly at her corny little joke. "See? I wouldn't be a bad comedian." Her words echoed around the bedroom.

"Okay," Fluttershy replied with an air of sarcasm, returning Dash's grin.

"Hey, I totally could! If I weren't already destined for the Wonderbolts!" she replied, coaxing another laugh out of her marefriend. Her smile grew. Finally, she's happy.

"Are your wings okay?"

Dash turned to Shy. "Yeah, they're pretty good by now. That's why I'm lying on my back, right? Why do you a-"

She was cut off by soft lips on hers. She relaxed a bit more. Celestia, that's passionate... She didn't notice that Fluttershy had moved until she was pretty much on top of her, and moving further over. Dash looked up. "Shy, what are you -" she stopped herself. She wanted to make it up to me? Let her, I guess.

As if she knew Dash's thoughts, Fluttershy whispered "Don't say a thing" into her ear.

A chill ran up her spine as Fluttershy continued descending her, moving her hooves along her sides and chest as she did. She laid back and closed her eyes. She smiled to herself, realizing the absurdity of what was happening. "You know, Shy, you really don't have to - mmmmmmh."

"Did you say something?"

"No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. No."