A Deer in Ponyville

"Albert, this is Applejack. Applejack, this is Albert," Twilight said, smiling at both of them. Albert waved his hoof awkwardly, Applejack just stared,

"W-Well... howdy..." she started, staring at the peculiar pony before her. He lacked cutie marks, his stature was somehow slightly shorter than her own, and he wore large white antlers.

"Hi............ my name's Albert."

"Heh... well, nice t' meet ya, Albert."

Applejack swiftly turned toward Twilight's direction,

"What in tarnation are ya doin', Twi?"

Albert overheard AJ's whispering.

"Oh! T-There it is! 'Twi'! The... the name your friends only use..." Albert tried to act relatable and quirky, only coming off as invasive and weird. Applejack simply stared at Albert flatly, then whispering into Twilight's ear,

"I mean, look at him.." AJ pointed discreetly at Albert's direction,

"He's got some weird hat. No cutie marks- I mean- wh-where'd ya even find him??"

"Oh. Well, I just found him sitting by himself by the bar and I wanted to talk to him."

"Twi. That there's problem number one. You and I both know not to hook up with bar-dwellers-"

"No- that's not what I meant. He- he wasn't even drinking. He was just sitting there all lonely eating flowers and stuff..." Twilight faced Albert, who just watched flatly in there direction,

"I apologize, Albert. Just- give us a few more seconds," Twilight said with a grin. Albert nodded.

"Look, I don't care if he looks weird, he's- he's pretty nice. I mean, he told me all about the Everfree Forest, where he lives-"

Applejack sighed as soon as the purple unicorn uttered those words,

"Twi. Twi, Twi, Twi," AJ shook her head,

"Do ya remember what happened the last time we found somepony from the Everfree Forest?? Do ya know what lurks in there?"

"But, AJ, Zecora turned out to be really nice. So what if she lives in the Everfree Forest?"

AJ sighed, saying nothing, still passing occasional glares in Albert's direction. Albert began whistling out of boredom.

"Just... put on a smile, okay? Be kindly," Twilight nudged AJ's shoulder. The farmer pony responded with a slow sigh.

"Now, then," Twilight faced Applejack, "how about you introduce us to your family? Your farm?"

"Oh- oh yeah! 'f course! Uh, Follow me, Andrew."

"Albert" The deer whispered, "Right, sorry," AJ replied.

__________________________________________________________

"Well, Adrian-" AJ started.

"Albert." the deer in question said.

"My apologies..." AJ huffed,

"Well, Albert, let me introduce ya to a little bit of my family. Startin' with my old folk, Granny Smith!" AJ pointed at a frail, light green pony on a rocking chair. She was sitting quietly and peacefully on the front porch. The three ponies- excuse me, the two ponies plus one deer approached Granny, who turned and faced them.

"Howdy, Granny. This 'ere is a new pony feller to Ponyville!" AJ pointed at the deer beside her,

"Um, actually, I'm a deer. A-Also, I'm- I'm only visiting-"

"OH I'M SO SORRY, ANDY! My head's been all over the place this mornin'! Well, Granny, this 'ere is a new deer feller in Ponyville!" AJ faced the elderly pony. She wore a furious glare,

"Are you the varmin that's been eatin' alla' my flowers?" Granny gave Albert the stink-eye and raised her wooden cane. Albert back off slightly,

"W-wait! Please I-It was just an accident!-"

"You ain't payin' for my flowers, are ya!?" Granny beat down on Albert mercilessly,

"OW! OW! WAIT! PLEASE! I PROMISE I WONT DO IT AGAIN!" Albert cried, trying to fend off the furious elderly mare hitting him with her cane.

"Wait Granny! Wait!" AJ pulled her way from Albert, who was now half-crouched on the ground, quivering,

"Now that ain't no way to treat our guests!" AJ berated.

"Now hon, she ain't no guest, ya hear? She's dirty ol' varmin-"

"Actually, I'm a he-"

"SHUT IT, YOU!" Granny raised her cane and the stag flinched, hiding his face with his front hoof.

"Now, Granny. He isn't varmin. He's simply a deer resident trying to visit Ponyville," Twilight said calmly. Granny continued to glare at the deer,

"Don't be eatin' no more o'my flowers, ya hear? Or a gun's goin' off tonight. The old Tommy', ya don't wanna meet him," Granny narrowed her eyes.

"Heh, well, why don't we, uh, meet the rest of the family???" AJ grinned, all humiliated.

"That's okay, Applejack. I can imagine they're busy right now." Twilight said.

"U-Understandable, Twi. See ya 'round!" AJ waved at Twilight, who now took Albert away from AJ and her insane granny. Almost as if it were pure coincidence, a rainbow-colored pegasus darted from the sky and hovered slightly above Twilight,

"Hey, Twilight!" The pony waved.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash," the purple unicorn waved back. Albert felt the need to wave too, earning Dash's attention,

"Who's he?" she asked, still beating her wings.

"Oh, this is Albert. Albert, this is my friend Rainbow Dash."

"Hi," the deer waved.

"Sup! You look kinda weird, but that's cool I guess," Dash said, now landing gracefully on the dirt ground,

"So, what's the deal? Some disease? Or, uh, a- genetic disease-"

"Rainbow, that's not very nice," Twilight chided.

"Sorry, I'm just curious!" Dash fired back,

"It was one of Zecora's spells, wasn't it?" the pegasus whispered.

"No, Rainbow. It wasn't any kind of spell, genetic mutation, or disease. He is a deer, and he came from the Everfree Forest," Twilight said.

"Uh, isn't that a word? Like, 'oh dear,' or something?"

"No, Rainbow. He is a deer. A deer is... kinda like a pony, only they're a little shorter, and have big antlers," Twilight pointed at Albert's head. He nodded.

"Ah, I see," Dash inched closer to the deer,

"So, Albert, can you tell me what you do? Do you do something really awesome like fighting or making magic potions or something?" Dash asked.

"I, uh, live in a cottage," Albert replied dryly. Twilight face-hoofed,
Dash grinned forcefully,

"Th-that's a start! So, what do you do in that cottage?"

"Uh..." Albert darted his eyes around,

"Eat, sleep... sometimes use the bathroom?"

Dash's forced grin faded, she sighed,

"Doesn't seem like you go outside much, do you?" Dash shook her head.

"Wait, Actually-" Albert started.

"Don't worry! I'm a professional at talking!" Dash chirped.

We know, Rainbow, Twilight thought to herself.

"So, like, when somepony asks you what you do and stuff, that basically means they're asking you about what job you do, or, like, what things you like and stuff," Dash explained,

"So then, like, you have to answer with something like, "Oh, I work as a... something something something... you get the idea..."

"Well, actually, I like to-" Albert started.

"And after that, the first pony's all like, "Wow! That's totally awesome!" So then, you know, you guys start talking, and stuff," Dash said, crossing her front legs. Albert thought she was finished,

"Actually, I like to-"

"So then, like, uh... you start getting really nice with each other. That's called being friends with somepony. Ask Twi, she's a professional Friend-maker! So then after you guys become friends, then you start going to super awesome places a-and doing super awesome things with each other! That's called doing a hobby," Dash said. Albert nodded,

"Well, I like to-"

"So then sometimes, uh, you guys get really friendly and stuff, and you two really really like each other, you know, beyond friendship. So then you start getting cute with each other and you start to kiss-"

"Okay, Rainbow. That's enough," Twilight remarked with a slight tinge of irritation in her voice. Dash blushed,

"Sorry. Got carried away."

"That's okay, I was just gonna say-"

"I'd love to stick around but I gotta get back to the Weather Control team! Later!" Dash zoomed away before Albert had a chance to utter another word. He sighed in defeat.

"Well, That's Rainbow for ya..." AJ calmly approached Albert, sitting beside him,

"Next thing ya know, ya start datin' her..." AJ blushed

"What?" Albert raised a brow.

"Uh UH nothin'! Ya heard nothin'! See ya 'round, Allan!" AJ trotted away, humming to herself.

"It's Albert..." the deer huffed under his breath.

"Well, that was something." Twilight huffed. Albert nodded, kicking a pebble with his front hoof and directing his gaze at the floor.

"Don't feel bad, Albert. My friends are, uh, unique! They're really nice once you get to know them," Twilight said. Albert nodded silently.

"Well then, how about we visit my friend Rarity?"