PiE/HiE Short Stories - The Earth/Equus Treaties

Littlebrook, U.S.A | A Quiet Early Morning At A Bustling Skybinks Coffee Shop

"There's no way you still find it this funny." Officer Horseradish groans, uttering a loud 'ughhh' and rubbing her face with her hooves, knocking the colorful sunglasses on her face around. The spunky little green pegasus had ordered a limited-time green macha latte, and for some reason, it's absolutely killing her human partner, the chuckling wheeze escaping him every few moments as he knocks on the table.

The rest of the customers, all either sat at their various tables around the pair or walking to and from, keep to their usual bustle as distant orders and mis-pronounced names are called, all united through their mix of species, career and interests in one unanimous need. A morning coffee. A cup of the divine liquid of eye-awakening, and later, the blessed bathroom break on company time.

"I mean, come on. Are you sure it's the taste, or do you just like that it's green -- like you?" Officer Barnes barely snorts out trying to hide his grin behind his arm. It's really not working, and is only driving his partner even further up the wall.

She stares blankly at his scrunched, giggly face, muttering to herself.
"I still cannot believe I ever got you as my partner. I remember asking specifically for somepony serious. No nonsense." She grumbles loudly, scooting her fur-colored drink closer to herself.
"Now can I drink my bucking coffee? I'm allowed to like macha, asshole."

"What, and I'm not serious? I'm like, the most serious guy you've ever met."" He snorts incredulously, waving away her accusations and pointing to himself, like it absolves him of all accusations.

It does not. Barnes looks more like your neighbour's dad than a proper, serious cop. Which is somewhat fitting for a small-town PD.

"You're drinking hot chocolate, for Celestia's sake. You've never been serious in your life." Horseradish points out, poking his cup with some added venom.

"I told you, I'm on a caffeine detox. Doctor's orders." Barnes excuses, sticking his tongue out at her. He wasn't. He just likes his sweet treats.

"You only ever order hot chocolate, liar. And if I catch that tongue, you're losing it." She threatens, though whether she's being playful is a matter up for debate.

"I'm allowed to like what I like, Officer Wasabi." Barnes leers, earning a glare from Horseradish. The tongue, however, goes away very quickly.

"I told you I was gonna kick your ass if you called me that again. Want me to start kicking?" She warns, a hoof aggressively tapping the table in front of him.

"You Ponies do have hazing where you come from, right? I'm not just bullying a four-legged children's crayon, am I?"

"Yes, we have hazing, you..." Horseradish stutters, her face contorting into a scrunched frown, ears flat.

"Mmhm?" Barnes prods, barely able to contain himself.

Horseradish is silent, glaring in pure, unfiltered despisement.

"Oh, this is gonna be a good one. She's really cooking on it." Barnes prodding at her, snickers sneaking out of him.

"Celestia, I'm going to kick your shit in." She folds, smacking the table with a hoof as Barnes starts chuckling to himself, letting the laughter escape.

"Mmhm, sure, sure. And, speaking of... how are you going to catch my tongue? Like you did yesterday, with your teeth?" He leers, leaning closer to her to tease.

A blush bursts across her cheeks at his last dig, and she quickly hides behind her sunglasses. Before Barnes can laugh, a hoof slams into his shoulder with a loud thud, leaving him rubbing the new, sore love-tap.

He's laughing it off, as Horseradish lets the blush simmer off her snout, keeping the smirk that creeps up on her lips hidden.

Officer Barnes and Officer Horseradish. Partners of the Littlebrook Police Department, but also... partners of two years, six months. Years ago, Horseradish was a spunky new hire to the PD, with dreams of going big-city with the right promotion. Then she got partnered up with Barnes, and she hasn't thought about leaving the city since, his appreciation for the small-town quiet rubbing off on her. Every morning, they'd stop at this Skybinks and help themselves to a morning liquid starter before heading out on patrol. As Officers of a town with a population that could fit in a football stadium, almost every morning was as quiet as this.

Littlebrook as a small town, nestled along quaint-ish river that the locals love to use for fishing, a few hours from the nearest proper city. With a heavily mixed population of human and pony thanks to its idyllic, almost Equestrian level of rural comfort, it's a relatively peaceful place that doesn't have to deal with too much trouble beyond young hooligans and bad drivers, and is one of the few locations that has begun integrating a pegasus-based weather system, though the lack of magic to resonate with has left this moreso being trial-runs than actual controlled weather, leading to Littlebrook having some... odd weather now and then.

Rain with no clouds. Snow in the middle of summer. High winds on Littlebrook's official kite-flying day. Half the town getting one weather, the other half getting another. And so on. The trials of weather control were a long, slow process, and the town had long grown used to the shenanigans. It was the most interesting thing to happen, most weeks.

Which this pair of bickering, half-caffeinetted lovebirds subtlety appreciate. Most of their job can be diluted down to being a presence, handling bad drivers, and keeping the local youth in check. Not much happens around Littlebrook, and that's just the way they like it.

"What's our route again?" Barnes asks once his arm stops tingling, sipping his drink and scooting his chair closer to Horseradish.

Horseradish rolls her eyes, rummaging into her chest pocket with her teeth for her phone, setting it on the table and using her wing to swipe in her passcode. She checks her notes for the day, squinting.
"... Mellow Hill Park, all the way up to the Highschool." She double-checks, before reaching for her own drink.

She slaps Barnes finger away from the whipped cream that tops her beverage of choice, glaring at him. He only grins, feigning pain in his hand.

"Twenty bucks the Ghullighans' kids are up to something again." Barnes taps the table, illicing a groans from Horseradish.

"You make, and lose, that bet every time we've got the school in our route. You just want to get them back for embarrassing you." She turns the teasing around, nudging him in the side. Now it's her turn to bear the shit-eating grin, Barnes physically recoiling under the newfound emotional duress.

"What? No. They're just never up to any good." Barnes tries to deflect, but now that she's got the upper-hoof, she's not letting him squiggle his way out of it.

"They mingle, Barnes. Sometimes, I dare say, they might even solicit the local park." She says, starting to get up from her chair.

"Like I said, up to no good." Barnes holds firm, huffing and pushing his chair in.

"You're just upset about that fence you couldn't jump and you know it." She comments as she passes him, sipping her drink loudly to enunciate her point.

"Says the lady with wings." Barnes tries to get-back, but she's already closing in on the door, leaving him to huff and mutter to himself as he trails after her.

...

Other than the little apartment they shared together that was a short jaunt from the park, their squad car was essentially their home away from home with how much time they spent in it. Barnes was driving -- not that ponies couldn't drive, but the pair didn't feel like setting up the attachments to the vehicle to allow for her to actually reach the gas pedal. It worked out well enough for them, with Horseradishes' natural proclivity to keeping her head on a swivel, like a little green radar dish, while Barnes casually drove the smalltown streets.

"So what'd you wanna do for dinner tonight?" Barnes prompts, flicking the turn signal. Their car sits idle in the junction, waiting for the chance to turn once traffic slows.

"Can you focus?" Horseradish glances over from her window, giving him a look. She tries to keep serious on-shift, a leftover behavior from her earlier days of trying to gun it for a promotion, before getting bogged down by Barnes' far more casual approach.

"Don't really feel like cooking tonight, so I was thinking of ordering out. You got any cravings?" He continues, the ever-pressing thoughts of the meal that follows lunch undeterred, crossing the lights and slowly drifting into the next lane. They cruise slowly, watching the sidewalks as absolutely nothing goes on. Small shops, some walking people, dog walkers...

Horseradish squints at him for a long moment.
"...Chinese." She eventually mutters, her hoof smooshing her cheek as she leans against the door.

"Yeah, Chinese would be good. Orange chicken and that?"

"Mmhm. You know my usual." She nods quietly.

"You all good?" Barnes reaches over, prodding her shoulder once they reach a red light.

"Huh?" She perks up, blinking.

"You've been a bit..." Barnes hums, tapping his chin. "... In the dumps since this morning. Was I too much?"

"No, no. It's... not you." She sighs, head thumping against the back of her seat. "Just stuck thinking."

"That opening over in New Beetlejak got you stuck in your thoughts again?" Barnes questions, surprising Horseradish with how pointedly blunt it was.

Pedestrians cross in front of their car as she shifts in her seat, looking over to face him.
"Yeah. It has been." She admits, fidgeting in her seat.

"Still thinking about moving to the city?" Barnes asks. Green light, the car softly lurches forward across the uncontested crossway. The question seems to bother her, despite Barnes casual questioning.

There's a sad look that plagues her face, staring down at the floor of the car as they slowly coast the quiet streets.
"I don't know."

She doesn't say much more for a few moments, but Barnes doesn't cut in, only glancing over a few times while he drives, giving her time to formulate. It's hard to see her face, with the way her ponytail got a bit messy against her chair and droops over her face, but he can see she's doing that one thing she does. Tapping her hooves against her seat in a rhythm, back hooves twitching in the air. Her version of jiggling her foot while she lets her thoughts wriggle around themselves.

His patience pays off, as she glances back up to him again.
"I like what we have here, but I'm... it feels like I'm missing out."

"On what?" Barnes presses.

"I'm... young, and it feels like I've already retired. Like I've got this energy, this... drive, but every time I go to push further, go harder... I just get looks for it. Like I'm the odd one out for wanting something more than just comfy, quiet days."

"You feel... unfulfilled." Barnes guesses, and she nods, looking up at him.

"But I don't dislike what we have here, I don't want you thinking that. It's... it feels weird to talk about it. Some days, I'm happy where I am. Other days, I can't stop thinking what if, you know? Is it a grass is greener thing?" She asks.

"Wouldn't know, unfortunately. I've always been comfortable where I am, but I'm guessing you and I were raised pretty differently."

"Pff, can't get any more obvious there." She shakes her head, stifling a sigh. These thoughts bothered her now and then, but Barnes never shot down her feelings. Still... she wasn't quite sure what she wanted. Could it be better?

Horseradishes' inner turmoil is broken off by the car suddenly lurching to a crawl, throwing both her and Barnes against their seatbelts. Her glare snaps to him, but softens when she realizes he's leant forward, squinting at something in the distance.

"Is that...?" Barnes mumbles, leaning forward and squinting. Off the road, across the street of the local Highscool, there's a trio of hooded individuals spraying one of the walls of the neighboring buildings with some garish colors in an attempt at a tag. They clearly don't have much experience, the way the paint is dribbling down the brick.
"Seriously? In the middle of the day?" He mumbles.

"Three individuals, two human, one pony. On it." Horseradish practically launches from the car, door swinging open as her wings pummel the air around her for height. Barnes covers himself with his arm as feathers flutter all around him, the front passenger door slowly swinging back and forth as he blinks.

Blowing a raspberry, he reaches down and flicks the sirens on, checking his shoulder before taking the time to cross over the lanes, backing in to park against the sidewalk. Grabbing the radio on his check, Barnes clears his throat while he unbuckles his seatbelt.

"Uh... Dispatch, Car Thirteen in pursuit of a trio of vandals."

After a long pause, he can hear a crackly raspberry get blown through the receiver.

"Well, shit, I feel bad for 'em. You need backup, or does 'The Bullet' got it?" The wizened voice on the other end of the radio asks.

Barnes opens the car door, stepping out to survey the distant scene. She's already got one on the ground.
"...She's got it."

"Ten-Four, see you when I see you." His radio crackles.

Barnes shuts the door, hands tucked in his vest as he meanders over to join her.

"Quit...resisting!"
"I wasn't doing anything, promise!"
"Bullshit and you know it!"

Barnes listens to their chattering as he closes in, nodding at the other two who still seem stuck in the internal debate on running.

"Pony on pony violence. Really, what has the world come to?" Barnes jokes, stopping a couple feet away. "You two run, that's evading arrest. Face the wall." He warns. The threat of getting hawked down by Horseradish was enough to keep them from trying anything. They huff, kicking the ground as they take off their hoods.

Just local kids, skipping school. Fairly compliant when parents get mentioned, and they're eventually wrestled into the back of the car without too much issue.

While Barnes slips back into the drivers seat, Horseradish looks absolutely raring to go. Her mane has gotten even messier, and her sunglasses sit awkwardly skewed on her face. He reaches over, nudging them back into position, but she slaps at his hand with a hoof, hissing at him about acting lovey in front of arrestees.

"We need to get you a gym membership or into some kind of physical hobby. You are biting at the bit."

"Barnes, enough."

"I'm serious, Horseradish. You've got energy to burn."

Her next snip is cut off by the collective, agreed mutterings from the trio in the back seat -- who quickly clam up when she twists around in her chair, glaring at them.

Barnes pulls off from the curb, merging over a lane to start back towards the precinct. Silence would normally be their companion, but Barnes glances over his shoulder, looking the trio over.

"... You're Brians' boys, aren't you two?" Barnes clocks, the two humans glancing away. Horseradish glances at him, wondering what he's up to.

"...Mhm."
"Yeah. What about it? You gonna tell him?"

"Depends. Any of you know anything about New Beetlejak?" He prompts. Horseradish gives him a 'really?' look, frowning.

Surprisingly enough, one of them does.
"You know, I've got a cousin in New Beetlejak." The pony of the trio speaks up.

"Quiet back--" Horseradish goes to snip, but Barnes surprised turn-around interrupts her.

"Really?" Barnes prompts, arm over the shoulder of his seat, looking through the hardened plastic that separates the front and back.
"I've got a sister there, too. What's your cousin do?"

Horseradish rolls her eyes, clocking out of the conversation. While her approach to these things might mirror that of the harder, tougher city-cop, Barnes smalltown approach typically won through with him chatting up whoever they had in the back. It was inevitable, really, when there was a coinflip's chance that you knew somebodies brother, mother, cousin, spouse, or what have you.

Admittedly, it did help their willingness when they actually got to the station, though nobody was really interested in running when the green bullet that was Officer Horseradish came soaring at them from above, shouting over the wind. It was a surprisingly effective combo that left them with a rather high capture rate.

Most of the drive back is spent with Barnes chatting about the city, not-so-subtlety getting information about the city for Horseradish. She only rolls her eyes, watching out the window until they reach the station. Considering they're all youths, it's just slaps on the wrists and community service in their future for their actions. The rest of their shift is only as exciting as their repeat visits to Skybinks for another coffee.

...

"Huh, lookit that. Snow."

Barnes scoots closer to the edge of the bed, pointing at the window. It's not even frosting around the edges, just beholding wet snow that sticks to the panes as it begins melting.

"I can see that." Horseradish shivers, pressing up closer beside Barnes, trying to mooch his warmth.
"In bucking July."

"How the hell did that happen?"

"Pegasi, probably. I heard they were doing some trial runs today." Her wings stretches in retort to her own wings, a slow groan escaping her.

"Good thing we've got the day off." He reaches over, poking at her extending feathers with a finger.

"Mmhm." She hums simply, slapping it away with a wing.

The pair sit on the edge of their bed, enjoying a quiet appreciation for life as they look out their bedroom window, watching several pegasi panic in the air as snow begins to clump and form, already in the process of melting under the heat.

"How do they even do that? The whole cloud touching thing?" He wiggles his fingers, grabbing air.

"Magic." Is all she says, giving him a coy look.

"Can I get a better explanation then that?"

"Nope."

He tsks at her playfully, poking her thigh.
"By the way. What we were talking about in the car, before the spray-painting thing."

"Yeah?" She perks up, looking at him. Her ears fold down a bit in tensing worry.

"If you want to go, I've got your back." Is all he says, smiling at her.

Horseradish stares at his face, smiling softly as her ears flip up.
"I got my kick from chasing somepony down. I'm alright for now." She snorts, leaning against him, cheek against his arm.

"Well, if you ever want to in the future... I've still got a few years of my prime left. I could probably handle some city living. You know, bust a few bank robberies, catch some murderers. I'm like a sleeper agent waiting to activate." He jokes, getting a giggle out of the mare.

"You're sweet, Barnes. I appreciate you being willing to give up your cozy little days for me." She says, hoof resting on his leg.

"Wouldn't give them up for anything else, so it must mean you're... special to me or something. Who knows." He hums, leaning to kiss her forehead, brushing aside some of her messy mane.

"I'd better be, the things you ask me to do with my wings." She notes dryly, Barnes sputtering and looking forward.

"But seriously, we need to get you into rock climbing, or judo or something. My hips can't keep being your outlet." He mutters through purses lips.

She raises a brow, scoffing.

"...Think I could go for some waffles. Want some?" Barnes quickly grunts, shifting up and out of the bed, bare feet slapping on the floor as he crosses their little abode.

"Of course you..." She goes to groan, to roll her eyes like their usual bickering mornings. But after a short pause, her lips purse. Horseradish just doesn't have it in her today.
"...Yeah, if you don't mind." She slowly slumps off the bed, landing on her hooves and trailing after him, stifling a long, intrusive yawn with her wing.

She stops at the bedroom doorway, leaning against it as she watches him reach into the fridge, the smile still stuck on her face. Maybe she'd wait a little longer. Nopony else in the precinct was jumping for that transfer, anyway.