Gallus Bugs a Bug

by Meteor_Mirage

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Gallus, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 2068

Chrysalis has finally won and captured someone close to the Elements of Harmony! With Gallus, finally her plans can... why isn't he cowering?

Chrysalis has finally won and captured someone close to the Elements of Harmony! With Gallus, finally her plans can...

Why isn't he cowering?

Why doesn't he look afraid?

Art by Rayne the Skunk who I will hug if ever given the chance.

Written for the Non-Pony Writing Contest!

Published 2024-08-25 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-08-25 23:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“So… what now?”

The question echoed slightly, as most things in caves do, but what made it echo deeper was the bored, banal way that Gallus asked it.

No anger, no fear, no begging on bent knees for immediate release no matter the cost. Just boredom with a twinge of annoyance, like someone had told him to wait in line before being served.

And it boiled Chrysalis’ blood.

She drew close to the bars separating them, scowling past them and at the griffon who was more interested in checking the sharpness of his claws as he sat than cowering from the Changeling Queen.

“Now you should be crying in fear that the True Changelings have returned!” She spat, green venom flecking towards Gallus. “And there’s nothing you and your little friends, or even the Elements of Harmony can do about it!”

“We are the Elements of Harmony.” Gallus said and, upon seeing her confused expression, rolled his eyes. “Geeze, keep up. It was, like, a graduation present. I’m surprised you didn’t notice when we unfroze Cozy Glow.”

“I was far busier running away to notice my change in captors.” Chrysalis grimaced briefly, but shook it off with a predatory smile. “But no, this is far better. Without you, there’s no chance of your friends petrifying my body again!”

Yet again, instead of the fear or concern she’d hoped, Gallus responded with a simple shrug.

“Nah, I think they’d rather just kick your teeth in.” He smirked. “Especially now that you kidnapped their leader.”

Chrysalis scoffed, the look of shock she was hoping to see on Gallus’ face instead briefly appearing on her own. “That may certainly be the case. If they ever figure it out in the first place.”

With a flash of green fire, Chrysalis disappeared. In her place, a perfect copy of Gallus stood smiling smugly through the bars at the original. “However, your friends may have a tough time noticing you're gone. After all, I've sent one of my best drones to replace you.”

Gallus pursed his beak at this, a bit discomforted to see his reflection not move with him. “And what do you and that handsome devil have planned?”

“Oh, nothing too big.” Chrys-Gallus crooned, blithely checking the sharpness of their own claws. “Sowing a bit of discord between your friends, infiltrating that silly little school of Twilight's, finding any weaknesses in Ponyville's kingdom. Perhaps I'll have him visit Canterlot's barracks to see if anything’s changed since I had Shining Armor wrapped around my hoof.”

“So you've done your homework. Guess that makes sense.” Gallus sighed, headfathers flopping in front of his face. “Still, dunno how you figured out our password.”

Before Chrys-Gallus could question him, the sound of hurried hoofsteps echoing from the cave entrance interrupted. Returning to her normal form in another bright flash of green, Chrysalis regarded the entering changeling drone with pure disdain.

“My Queen, scouts report a group of creatures gathering within range of our base.” The drone informed, cowering slightly under Chrysalis’ icy glare. “For now we’ve spotted a yak, hippogriff, dragon, and a renegade drone.”

To the drone’s delight, Chrysalis’ glare quickly swung to Gallus instead.

“You did this.” Chrysalis hissed, more venom flying towards Gallus. “I don’t know how, but you did something to cause this.”

“Funnily enough, I didn’t have to do anything.” Gallus shrugged, then directed his attention to the changeling drone. “Hey, you sure there wasn’t a pony too?”

The drone began to answer, but Chrysalis quickly shot him a look and pointed towards the cave entrance. Smartly, the drone decided this would be the best time to leave, leaving Gallus’ question unanswered.

“Well, that’s that. Looks like I’m gonna get out of here sooner than I thought.” Gallus yawned, laying back against the cold cave floor and interlocking his claws beneath his head. “Sucks though, I think we were really making some progress here. We should really do this again sometime.”

“There won’t be a next time!” Chrysalis seethed, grinding her mandibles as she watched Gallus only relax further.

“Not gonna try again?” Gallus asked, crossing his hindpaws as he continued to stare up at the cave’s ceiling. “I guess no one would blame you. Stick with what works, which is decidedly not this.”

Chrysalis scowled, eyes narrowing as she drew close to the bars of Gallus’ locked cell. “I won’t need to try again, because my Changelings will capture your friends and you will all serve me, or you will all die in this cave.”

There was a pause, Gallus raising his head slightly to stare back at Chrysalis. “Geeze, talk about bleak.” Relaxing back down moments later, he shrugged. “No wonder you don’t get many visitors. Absolutely no hospitality.”

There were no words. Chrysalis found herself only able to growl with rage, seeing red as she watched her captive continue his chillaxing.

Making it doubly worse for the changeling drone rushing back into the cave, their hurried hoofsteps deafened to Chrysalis by her massive, pounding headache.

“My Queen, I-” The drone began.

Only to be cut off by Chrysalis roaring in their face. “What is it NOW?”

Immediately the drone was cowering, bowing their head. “It’s the intruders! They’ve- the yak and dragon have teamed up and are setting our troops ablaze! And the hippogriff! She has a knife!”

“And the renegade?” Chrysalis scowled.

“Currently… missing.” The drone stammered. “Their friends distracted us, and they managed to slip through our guard.”

“Useless. Utterly useless.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes, then roughly waved a hoof back towards the cave’s entrance. “Leave. Now.”

“Waitwaitwait, hooooold on!” Gallus shouted as he sat back up. Ignoring Chrysalis for a moment, he focused his attention instead on the now conflicted drone. “You sure there’s not a pony with them? Goofy ahh stallion, eternal bed head, probably trying to befriend the changelings trying to kill him?”

The drone blinked. “No, I don’t think-”

“If you don’t leave right now and protect our hive with your life,” Chrysalis seethed, “I will make sure you no longer have a life to risk.”

A loud eep and a changeling-shaped cloud of dust were all that was left of the drone, the sounds of a rapid escape echoing as they ran.

“Ah well, he must just be too busy to save his best bro.” Gallus sighed, returning to his relaxed lay upon the ground. “Guess who isn’t getting any dice for Hearth’s Warming now.”

“I cannot believe this right now.” Chrysalis grumbled.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Gallus said with a bit of a laugh. “The goofus is probably gonna do something adorable, and I’ll have to get him a new dice set. Or maybe a couple.”

“No! I cannot believe that your biggest concern is where your little boyfriend is!” Chrysalis screamed, stomping her hooves upon the cave floor. “You have been kidnapped! Your friends will never defeat my troops and save you!”

“Nah, they’d win.” Gallus smirked, pointing up towards the cave’s ceiling. “One of your guys was dumb enough to leave your plans posted to the roof here, so I know y’all aren’t working with much here.”

Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed. “You expect me to be that gullible?”

“Hey, I don’t expect you to do anything.” Gallus shrugged as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. “Except maybe find more troops. You really thought you could get all of us with that little?”

There was a brief pause.

Growling to herself, Chrysalis annoyedly pulled out the key ring holding the key to Gallus’ cell, trudging towards it as she shook her head. “Clearly I had far more faith in my drones than they deserved.”

“No worries, happens to the best of us.” Gallus chuckled a bit as he stood up from his supine position. He then gestured to the empty space. “But yeah, just lay right there and you’ll see.”

Chrysalis growled again, eyeing Gallus warily as she took her time getting into position. Staring up at the ceiling as Gallus did before. “This better not be a waste of my time.”

Leaning down, Gallus adjusted her positioning slightly with his claws. “Hold on, a little this way.”

Allowing Gallus to manipulate her position without biting his face off, Chrysalis squinted up at the ceiling, tilting her head to and fro. “I don’t see anything.”

Stepping away towards the cell bars, Gallus smirked back at Chrysalis over his shoulders. “Just keep looking. It’s sorta like one of those magic eye pictures.”

“Ugh, I hate those.” Chrysalis growled, squinting her eyes further. “It takes me hours to see anything.”

Leaving his confinement entirely, Gallus made sure to close the cell door behind him. “Well, I’ll just leave you to it then. Happy hunting!”

Hearing the metal door shutting without her taking part in it, Chrysalis was distracted away from the ceiling in favor of staring at Gallus and the bars that now lay between them.

To her credit, she gave a good-humored smirk. “Nice try, but you’ll need the key if you want to get anywhere.”

“Oh, you mean these?” Gallus grinned, pulling the key ring out with a flourish, spinning it around his claw before sticking the key in its lock. “Sorry, sticky claws. You know how griffons are.”

Rushing the door to escape before Gallus could lock it, Chrysalis was only able to crash into the locked door and uselessly flail her forelegs through the bars and forcing Gallus to jump back.

“Woah, watch the merchandise!” Gallus yelled as he escaped just in time, the very tips of Chrysalis’ hooves barely grazing his chest. Brushing himself off with his claws, he shook his head. “Ugh, I think you got me with one of your legholes. Now I’ll have to shower once I get back home.”

Hooves still hanging out of the cage, Chrysalis shook her head. “You seem to forget that you still need to get through my wall of elite warrior drones.” Tilting her head at the sound of hoofsteps rushing through the cave system, she smiled maliciously. “And it seems like one is on their way right now.”

“Queen Chrysalis, the intruders-” The drone cried as they rushed in, sliding to a stop upon seeing a caged Chrysalis and a free Gallus.

Gallus stared at the drone for a moment, pursing his beak. “Well this is awkward.”

In a flash of green flame, the changeling’s black carapace brightening to a brilliant blue as Ocellus revealed themself.

“You’re telling me.” Ocellus frowned, looking between Chrysalis and Gallus again. “We work this hard to save you, and you just spring yourself? Can’t you just let a plan play out?”

“No can do, bugaboo.” Gallus grinned, offering Ocellus a fistbump that they readily reciprocated. “I can’t let you guys have all the fun.”

Unable to hide a smile of their own, Ocellus looked away and stared towards the cave’s entrance. “Oh, whatever. Let’s just go back home.”

Gallus cracked his knuckles with a gleeful grin. “Heck yeah. Then I can get back at that changeling that tried to replace me.”

Ocellus’ eyes widened a bit as she looked back at Gallus. “Wait, you want to beat up Elytra?”

Poking her head in, Silverstream too stared Gallus down with a shocked expression. “Did I just hear Gallus say he’s going to beat up Elytra?”

Poking her head in above Silverstream’s, Smolder shook her head. “Dude, seriously? I can’t believe you’d say that about Elytra! He’s, like, my second favorite changeling!”

Below the two of them, Yona also poked her head in. “For shame, Gallus. Yona thought friend was better.”

“Alright, alright! No beating up a changeling that tried to replace me!” Rolling his eyes, Gallus approached the girls. “Now is anyone gonna tell me where Sandbar is?”

Walking up behind him, Ocellus clapped a hoof on his shoulder. “Oh, we didn’t have the heart to tell him you got yourself kidnapped.” Stepping in front of him, Ocellus, much like Chrysalis before, assumed the form of Gallus. “So, as far as Sandy knows, he’s been spending the day with a Gallus that complains way less.”

“Yeah, he even posed for a few pictures for my blackmail folder.” Smolder winked, producing a clawful of photographs and fanning herself with them.

“So he stole my boyfriend,” Gallus began, his beak screwing as his eye twitched, “And provided Smolder with even more to bully me with.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”