Welcome Home

The next day I went back to work. I didn’t feel motivated for it but I knew I couldn’t play sick forever. And I didn’t want to risk losing my job. Especially now since I need an income more than ever.

Of course, nopony asked me during work about the fire. They just all gave me side stares. Stares which told me that they all knew what had happened. And still, nopony came to me and asked about my well-being. But why should they. I was just a random kirin to them. And staying silent while assuming something was so much simpler than actually talking with me about it.

But I preferred to be alone anyways. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with some half hearted friendliness. The positive attitude I had was completely gone. Even during lunch I picked myself a place, away from any other pony while they, like always, sat in their own little groups, isolating themselves from any others.

How could I have once been so blind? My optimisism had given me the feeling that this was a place to make friends and meet new ponies. Instead, I could now feel the stares and distance everypony put between myself and them.

Velvet and Cloak also just sat together in their own little place, along with every other coworker I had ever talked with. Even Quick Rush preferred to sit alone at her table. None of my so called “friends” came over and asked me how I was. Not even to say sorry that they didn’t show up at the party.

I was just alone there and eating my sandwich I picked from the stand since I had no kitchen at home to cook something. I didn’t feel too hungry anyways…

After lunch I had a task to do at a special silk knitting machine while Creative worked on the sewing machine. The problem was that these two were right next to each other and we felt each other's presence the whole time.

But Creative also didn’t talk with me. And I also didn’t see the need to do so. We just worked, side by side, while the tension on his side started to grow. He knew that he had to say something. He knew that he owed me an apology more than any other pony. And he knew that I knew. But of course, he was too shy for it.

Because giving an apology would actually require courage. It is easier to just ignore your mistake, I thought.

But with each passing moment the tension grew, and it started to press more and more on Creative. And the nonstop silence and cold aura I gave off didn’t help at all to calm his nerves. And then it reached the point where he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey… uuuuh… I heard your house caught fire yesterday”, he said out of nowhere.

“Yeah”, was all I responded. I didn’t even bother to look up from my task and continued to work on the silk knitting machine.

“Yes… I heard about it yesterday. Is it bad?”, he asked me.

I could feel that he tried to build up a chat. A chat where he could smuggle an apology in between to clear his conscience. But I was unwilling to make it that easy for him. If he wanted to say sorry, he could finally get some balls and say it properly.

“Why do you ask?”, I coldly gave in return, still not making the effort to look at Creative.

“Well, I can imagine that it is kind of a shock when your house burns. And I want to know how you take it. I care about you after all.”

At his words I instantly felt the air around me heat up. The nirik in me called again. But the last thing I wanted was to cause another fire.

I swallowed my anger and finally turned my head in Creative’s direction.

“Don't you lie about caring about me. You didn't care enough to come to my party when I invited you, and you definitely don't care about my feelings. You said you heard yesterday about the fire. So, if you ACTUALLY cared then you could have come to me yesterday after work and offer me help, give some uplifting words or just offer a comforting shoulder. But you didn’t care enough about me.

So tell you what. You ponies, you included, are such a fan of this word MAYBE. So, MAYBE I will talk to you another day.”

With these words I turned my head back to my work. The pegasus was speechless for a moment before he turned his attention back to his own machine.

It was silent again between us. But this time it was a different kind of silence. An aura of shame now hung over Creative. And that gave me a little bit of satisfaction.

Creative didn’t talk to me afterwards. And neither did any other pony.

As soon as work was done, I went straight back home. Past the neighbour who was too scared to even open a door. I made a quick stop at my mailbox. A single letter was inside that had ten stamps on it. The return address told me that it came directly from Hono. My old home!

We didn’t have a post office in Hono, since there was no point in sending a letter in such a small village. But I guess they had one now, to send and receive messages from all over Equestria.

I went inside and opened the envelope with my magic and floated the piece of paper out. The hoof writing already told me that it was Autumn Blaze who wrote the letter.

Hello Spring Frost,

I write this letter in the name of everykirin here in Hono.

How are you? We're doing fine. Well, except for winter flame, who hit her hoof on a door frame today, but besides that there isn't anything big going on right now, like a whole village burning. Oh, and we have some new theatre sketches. All thanks to the ponies who gave us some manuscripts. I tell you, thanks to ponies knowing about us, we got so much new stuff from them. Just like this letter. They said I had to put a stamp on the envelope and so I did. They came in a pack of ten, so I didn’t know if I had to put one stamp or one pack on it.

Anyways, I should wrap this up soon since this paper is not very large. While we enjoy a little bit of pony culture you now literally live in it. We, as in all kirins here, hope you’re doing well and have a happy time in Maren, among all the ponies. How is it? Is their culture a lot different than ours? Is it true that they eat with something called “force” instead of chopsticks?

We decided to write you a letter since you most likely won’t be able to come to Hono for the Ruishou holiday. We all wish you a happy Ruishou day and hope that next year you can come back to celebrate with us. Remember that you will always be welcome here. We miss you a lot, but we also know that this has been the way you wanted to go.

With love

And then followed the signature of every kirin in Hono.

I had to smile at Autumn’s text. But it was a bittersweet smile. This letter was a cruel reminder of what I lost by moving to Maren. Hono was such a great place to live, with so many friends of mine. And I gave it all up for the call of adventure…

I read the letter again and again. Trying to find at least a little bit of comfort in the words. After a while, I floated it to the table in the living room as i flopped on the sofa in disappointment.

I missed Hono so much. It wasn’t really homesickness, it was more the desire to be around kirins who loved me. Kirins who write me a letter to ask about my wellbeing and wish me a happy Ruishou day. (Sure, it had arrived a bit too late, but the thought counted more than anything else.)

I floated some paper, along with a quill and some ink over to me. I knew had to write them something back. But I didn’t know what…

What should I write them. I don't want to tell them how bad my life in Maren is and how sad i feel. But I also don’t want to lie to them.

I had to write the letter in a way that their questions got answered but without them start to worry about me. And most importantly, not in a way that they also got the idea to move away. They should stay in Hono. In the happy kirin village.

I continued to stare at the paper, in the hope that this would give me some sort of idea, how to put everything into right words. But I couldn’t think of anything, nor was I motivated enough to do this task right now.

Besides, there were other things I had to worry about. I still had to hire some builder who would repair my kitchen. And it was best done before winter came and it got too cold. Right now, I had just taped a cardboard box where the window once was. This would work for a little while, but it was already the middle of autumn.

I gave a heavy sign. Right now, I just didn't feel up to doing it. I didn’t feel motivated to do anything. I just wanted to lay on this sofa and do nothing.