[Octavia packs an absurdly large suitcase on her bed, hastily shoving in items with her hooves.]

Octavia: Alright ... collar, cello, cello case, mace-- both the spray and the metal kind-- antidepressants, train ticket ... Yes, that should be sufficient until this blows over.

[Vinyl trots into the room behind Octavia.]

Vinyl: Don’t forget your keys.

Octavia: Ah yes, thank you, Vinyl, that’s much-- FGDSCCWSLWEH!

[Octavia fully leaps several feet into the air and whips around.]

Octavia: YOU!

Vinyl: [Waves.] Hi Octy. Your back window was open.

Octavia: Ugh! [Mumbling.] Trebel, you little-- [Sharp inhale.] Hello, Vinyl. Just for awareness, an open window in my home doesn’t automatically mean ‘come in.’

Vinyl: Awwww come on. What’s a little breaking and entering between friends, eh? [Chuckles.]

Octavia: [Silence.]

Vinyl: ... not even a giggle?

Octavia: Why are you here, Vinyl?

Vinyl: I already told you! Have you ever looked into podcasts? There’s like a million of them! They don’t even need that much structure. A lot of them are just people talking about shows they watched!

Octavia: Vinyl ...

Vinyl: Hang on, I’ll get my phone... [Pulls out phone.] Okay look, this one’s just a few colts watching a cartoon or something. I uh ... don’t know what that is. Some kind of modernized reboot of a kids show from 30 years ago? Wow. You ever notice everything is a reboot or a sequel now?

Octavia: Vinyl.

Vinyl: No wait, look, two of the Elements of Harmony have a true crime podcast now! This one is really good! Here, listen.

[Vinyl hits play on her phone.]

Applejack: [On phone, frustrated.] Look, all ahm sayin’ is that ah have reservations about glorifying violence.

Rarity: [On phone]. Oh, it is not about glorifying violence, it’s simply an interesting historical subject to learn about. It’s just a hobby, darling, you don’t have to analyze everything.

Applejack: Ya’ll told me you were gonna have a nice lunch and then you just started dragging out recording equipment!

Rarity: We are having a nice lunch! We’re just also going to speculate about the Changeling invasion!

Applejack: Speculate?! WE WERE THERE!

Rarity: But what really happened though?

Applejack: WE KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. Twilight knows even more than we do! Ya’ll could call just her on the phone!

Rarity: You know, I’ve had it up to here with you ruining my fun!

Applejack: Ah, here we go.

[Applejack and Rarity raise their voices and argue over each other to the point where what's being said is unrecognizable.]

[Vinyl pauses the podcast.]

Vinyl: See, that could be us! Now, I don’t have recording equipment at home at the moment, had to hock a lot of it a few months back to make rent, but--

Octavia: VINYL! Just ... stop, okay?! I’m not going to uproot my life to indulge in one of your zany schemes again!

Vinyl: Pfft, come on this isn’t that zany. Who knows, there might even be a new career for us in it--

Octavia: I already have a career! I teach music now!

Vinyl: What?! [Groans.] I mean, I know you’re a great teacher, but you know you’re meant for better than that.

Octavia: I’m not ‘meant’ for better, I already had better, we were all on top of the world for years, it was good, and now I’m done. I don’t need anymore excitement. I had quite enough of excitement with, oh I don’t know, the jazz fusion tour--

Vinyl: [Annoyed.] OH YOU HAD TO BRING THAT UP! You know, like two-thirds of those shows killed, it’s not my fault the Canterlot elite didn’t like strobe lights and got all sensitive about it.

Octavia: [Normal speaking volume.] Vinyl, it made Soarin’ crash into a brick wall.

Vinyl: Y-yeah, but he was fine!Like Spitfire says the fake teeth look so good you can’t even tell! Besides, that was like ten years ago, you really gonna hold that against me?

Octavia: Vinyl, it’s not just that. It’s not any one thing. It’s just .. events like that, the excessive spending, the bad investments, that year you thought the quartet should pander to the ringtone market, all the everything that happened in Las Pegasus--

Vinyl: Okay sure, we can legally never go back there again, but it was still a good time!

Octavia: The wanting to party all weekend every weekend, the blowing through rent money which is astonishing considering how much money you used to make--

Vinyl: Rent is a social construct made to persecute me specifically.

Octavia: --and like ... [Frustrated laugh] just you being able to do all that and always getting out any real consequences for any of it because you’re so charming and ... yes, you also have done things, AMAZING things, for me, I know that! And you really can be fun! Like when we had wine with the quartet and ended up inventing swing.

Vinyl: HEY I WAS NEVER INTO-- oh “swing music,” you mean “swing music.” Yeah, that was a fun afternoon...

Octavia: It’s-- it’s like you think just cause you’re able to do those things that it makes all the not-great things okay! And for a while I thought that too but ... [Sits on bed.] It just gets ... tiring. It’s a rollercoaster.

Vinyl: [Pause.] [Whispering.] Rollercoasters are fun...

Octavia: Only because you know you get off at the end and then be safe. I don’t want to ride one forever. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to! [Deep sigh.] We’re not in our twenties anymore, Vinyl ...

Vinyl: ... I know ... I’m sorry. [Pause.] I mean ... I do try. I can try to do better.

Octavia: I know you try. But you’ve been trying for almost a decade.

Vinyl: Okay well... okay, forget all that. I wasn’t even trying to get back together anyway.

Octavia: Yeah. Sure.

Vinyl: [Perking up.] Unless you’re offering to, in which case that was totally my plan the whole time.

Octavia: [Snicker.]

Vinyl: EH! [Giggles.] EH! You laughed, I got you!

Octavia: [Snicker.] No, you didn’t. Please. [Clears throat.] Please, no jokes.

Vinyl: Aw, but that’s what I’m good at.

Octavia: [Silence.]

Vinyl: [Groan.] Alright fine ... I mean ... really, that wasn’t why I was here. I just wanted to ... start a podcast--

Octavia: Cut the crap.

Vinyl: Okay fine! I guess ... [Lowers voice.] I just ... missed you. Uh. Not like ‘missed you’ like that! Well maybe a little ... but ... I just wanted to... talk to you again. Just ... you know ... I miss that. It’s ... lonely.

Octavia: [Gently.] Come on, you-- you have lots of friends, Vinyl.

Vinyl: I do, just not, you know ... ones I can talk to about anything that matters. Well, Spitfire a little, but you know ... even that’s not the same. I dunno ... I thought if I had a reason to see you that might be better. Something like the good old days. Something that seemed fun.

Octavia: [Flops backwards on the bed.] [Exasperated.] Vinyl, I know it’d be fun. You’re always fun. That’s not the problem. It’s that when it's time to get serious I’m afraid you won’t be able to, and I’ll get upset and angry and resentful and I hate being like that and ... then it won’t be fun anymore.

Vinyl: [Quiet.] No ... I get it. I’m sorry that I’m ... the way I am.

Octavia: Vinyl, don’t be like that.

Vinyl: I should go. [Gets up.]

Octavia: Wait!

Vinyl: What?

Octavia: I’ll .... give me some time to think about it.

Vinyl: Oh! Um ... [Nervous laughter] Wow, okay, that’s great--

Octavia: About the podcast. And talking again. Not about-- [Clears throat.] Anything else--

Vinyl: Right-right of course, yeah I knew that.

Octavia: Right. Good.

Vinyl: Great! [Awkward pause.] I willllll leave you to that then.

Octavia: [Laugh.] Yes. Great. Thank you.

Vinyl: This was nice.

Octavia: IIIIIIII spent most of this time yelling at you, that’s nice for you?

Vinyl: [Snort] Are you kidding? [Opens door.] This is just like old times.

Octavia: [Yelling after Vinyl.] Finding that comforting is deeply concerning!

Vinyl: Sorry, won’t be looking inward about that! See you, Octy! [Closes door.]

Octavia: [Pause.] [Long sigh.]

Vinyl: [Opens door.] So uh, yeah, sorry if this messes up your pathos, but uh… do you know where I can find a good hotel? I took a train to get here and did noooooot think any of it through at all—

Octavia: [Slightly annoyed.] ... I will text you a few addresses.

Vinyl: [Quickly.] Awesome, perfect, thank you. [Closes door.]

Octavia: … dear Celestia, I’m losing my mind all over again …

Author's Note

Did you really think I forgot about the tradition of every season's second episode getting REALLY real all of a sudden?