Pick Your Perspective: Between a Cowgirl and a Diva

Chapters

Point of View: You're Married to Applejack
Point of View: You're Married to Adagio Dazzle
Point of View: You're "Married" to both Applejack and Adagio Dazzle
Point of View: You're Married to Neither Applejack nor Adagio Dazzle

Point of View: You're Married to Applejack

You woke up to beautiful blonde hair inches away from your face, and the familiar warmth of embracing your wife in bed. There was no urgency to leave and do anything in particular soon, and she was still asleep, so you chose to take in as many details in the moment as you could. Your naked bodies were so close there was no room to move, and the erection you now noticed was poking her in the butt; still, the sensation underneath your left hand quickly climbed over the others. It was resting on her swollen belly, over your child, and you smiled even more when you remembered impending fatherhood, parenthood, with her.

You didn’t notice exactly when Applejack woke up, but you noticed when she started stretching out her arms and legs before turning over to face you, or trying to turn over. Your hand snaked around to help lift her, and she settled for lying on her back and turning her head to meet you. Maybe the two of you whispered “good morning” to each other, or something else, but you couldn’t remember, and you both knew what the other meant anyway. You gave her a quick kiss before helping her to a sitting position, and you got out of bed to stretch. By the time you looked behind yourself, she was already sitting on the edge of the bed, and lifted herself off of it with only a light grunt.

Your clothes were in the same wardrobe, on her side, and you walked around to open it. You put on boxers and then just a T-shirt, she panties and a bra before just her button-up shirt; she didn’t bother with the lower buttons and tugging it down, instead tying it up to rest over her bosom and little else. Rarity had offered to make her maternity clothing, a few maternity outfits, and finally a maternity outfit, but Applejack had only thanked her and called it hooey, not that you were complaining. There were a few baby outfits in your wardrobe courtesy of Rarity, however, and the thought of how they’d look with someone finally inside them made you smile again.

She rolled her eyes a little as you helped her down the stairs, but didn’t complain in any other way. A few weeks ago, she’d stepped down the staircase as quickly as she could, which was still quite fast, just to prove a point; it had nearly given you a heart attack, and you’d made her promise to not do it again.

It was the weekend, so Granny was playing bingo with her friends, Apple Bloom was at a sleepover, and Big McIntosh was doing something; the two of you were the only people home, now reminded of that fact, and it meant you were left to fend for yourselves when it came to food. You’d apparently slept right through breakfast without anyone to wake you, and the Apples were a family of early risers, now yours too, so they actually had lunch at noon and dinner before sunset.

“Hey, Applejack, want to go out for lunch?” Ever since you’d been married, you’d not taken her on any dates. She’d never complained, and both of you enjoyed saving your money, but why not? She almost seemed shocked by the idea.

“What’s wrong with my cooking?” She started placing her hands on her hips, and preparing that look of incredulity. You just kept smiling, and she knew you would.

“Nothing, sweetheart,” you gently took one of her hands into yours, “but we rarely eat out anymore, and only we’re here. We can just do something different today.” You now remembered taking Apple Bloom and her friends to some children’s restaurant a few times, but fast food with Applejack and dozens of loud children was hardly a date. If you wanted to get any time in town without children for the next few years, one look at Applejack’s bump told you that time needed to happen soon.

“I don’t know. I’m feeling mighty peckish for a lot of different things.” That incredulous look was gone, and her gaze wandered, a sure sign she was at least a little embarrassed about her cravings. One time, you’d walked into the kitchen from the fields and caught her eating every fruit in the kitchen that wasn’t an apple. You of course hadn’t cared, but had chuckled when she’d tried to hide it with her body like a crime scene, and she was still a little sensitive about it.

“We can just go to a buffet. How’s that sound?” She thought for a moment before responding. “Alright.”

Both of you remembered more clothing was needed to leave the house, and shoes, so you went upstairs to collect yours and hers, slipping into yours before heading back down the stairs. They were a little too skimpy for leaving the farm, and she hadn’t given you any particular direction, so you left her blue jean shorts upstairs in favour of a skirt she could probably still wear.

Once you were back downstairs, you kneeled and held her skirt open at the floor for her as she gently threaded her left foot through, and then her right; you slowly pulled them up until she could grab them, but stayed kneeling.

“You enjoyin’ the view down there?” She smirked. It wasn’t as if she could see to button the skirt anyway.

“You know it.” You helped her with the skirt, and gave her belly a quick kiss before quickly standing with a flourish, not at all obnoxiously flaunting your mobility compared to hers. She chuckled a little for no reason whatsoever.

Next, she sat down on the couch while you put her socks and shoes on for her. Once both of you were ready, you pulled the front door shut, not that you needed to lock it, and opened the truck door for Applejack before getting in yourself. You started the truck and took a glance at Winona’s dog house in the mirror before pulling away; the old girl would be just fine with plenty of food, water, and shade in this mild heat.

The drive into town was mostly uneventful. You tuned the radio to the local news station and let it run without much regard for what it was actually saying and took off. You did hear mention about some big concert nearby in a couple of days, but Applejack grunted and changed the station for some reason.

When you parked, you got out and walked around to open her door and help her out, but she beat you to it, and stuck her tongue out at you as she did so. “I ain’t made a glass, sugarcube.” She let you hold open the buffet’s front door for her, however.

There weren’t many people around, but you saw a fat guy and got an idea. You already hand your right hand resting on her side as both of you walked together to the front counter.

“You know what they say about every fat person, right?” You whispered, and she whispered in-turn. “What’s that?”

“Every fat person starts out as a cute little baby.” You were still whispering, and moved your hand from her hip to poke her belly with your right index finger for emphasis.

“You quit it!” She very nearly wasn’t whispering, and swatted away your hand. “We ain’t gonna raise no fatass. I don’t even want to think about something like that.” You didn’t apologize, but your grin told her that reaction’s what you wanted to see. “Jerk.” She added. You gave her a quick kiss on the side of her head, and she was clearly trying hard not to smile.

After ordering your drinks, you look around the mostly-empty restaurant to find an ideal table, and choose one closest to the food. You collect some items for yourself, and some for her in case she feels like taking from your plate or forgets anything, before sitting down again.

You don’t at all notice the tour bus now parked in front of the building, but did notice when three colorful women passed by, one even bigger than Applejack. You felt a little guilty looking at her for a moment, but you didn’t have wandering eyes, because it just so happened that Applejack came to stand in front of her. You continued to just watch.

They glared at each other for a moment, you have no clue why, and then Applejack spoke. “Scuse me, I’m after that slice a cake there, Adagio.” There was a single slice of chocolate cake on a plate behind the protective glass, on the far side of the display, and that woman’s name was Adagio. You swear you’d seen her somewhere beforehand.

“Well that’s a shame, because I walked over here to get that.” You think “waddled” would’ve been a better word to use.

With their intentions stated, both of them reached for it, and both of them got in the others way. Neither of them could reach it standing normally, neither of them seemed to want to turn her back to the other, so their sides were to the buffet case as they leaned in. Two heavenly bodies collided. You started chewing your lip, and they continued glaring at each other. Enjoying this was wrong, as was envy for a slice of cake; you should break it up, whatever it was.

You were so close you didn’t need to raise your voice. “Just let her have it, Applejack.” She looked at you like you’d insulted Celestia.

“Little Miss Popstar here thinks she can just waltz in and take whatever she wants. Well I ain’t standin’ for it.” Applejack stuck out a finger accusingly.

“You can barely stand at all.” Adagio added.

Applejack was stubborn, but this wasn’t like her. It was just a piece of cake, and she hardly even liked cake. Before Applejack sent back another insult, you grabbed her attention again.

“Applejack, here, you can have my slice; it’s not a big deal.” You’d taken the penultimate piece from the same display a minute ago, and was holding the plate in your hand for emphasis.

After glaring at Adagio for a final time, Applejack harrumphs and walks away. Adagio and the other two sat somewhere you couldn’t see them. You’d have to ask Applejack just what that had been later today.

All in all, it was a pleasant, and thereafter uneventful, afternoon with your lovely wife.

Point of View: You're Married to Adagio Dazzle

Your tired eyes continued to stare at the passing road, and you were thankful that the sun was rising anywhere but in front of your vision as you drove the Dazzlings’ tour bus. The girls were all asleep. As the hours passed, that started to change, and you heard them yawning, moving around, and making breakfast for themselves; that is, you heard pouring cereal and brewing coffee.

At least now you could turn up the radio without waking them. While going through the channels, you happened to hear some announcer talk about an upcoming concert, and turned up the volume further so they would certainly hear it. “And in just three days, at Rich Concert Hall, the Dazzlings will be playing their last show of the year, and potentially for quite a while. Adagio Dazzle looks about ready to pop, and the future of the band is uncertain after that.” He kept going on, but you eventually got tired of the recycled talking points and flipped to some music.

“Here’s your coffee, daddy.” In your right peripheral vision, you could see a rather large and tan mass jutting out, and above it a hand holding a coffee mug. As much as you’d love to get a good look at her, you keep your eyes on the road as you she hands you the mug, which you immediately set in a cupholder so you can feel her up a little. You snake your right hand underneath her bump until it’s resting on the far side, and you lean over to rest your cheek against the near side; you gently pat her a few times too. She’s incredibly warm, and you smile further when you feel her left hand rubbing against your hair. Her laughter literally reverberates through you. You’re so looking forward to being a father.

“Alright, now go sit down. It’s not safe to walk to the front while I’m driving. If someone hit us, you’d get hurt.” You couldn’t see her rolling her eyes at you, but she did as you told her.

The girls were, for the most part, well-behaved this morning. You tried to follow along with their conversations, but it was hard while both driving and not being particularly interested in their topics, but just their voices were pleasant to hear when they weren’t yelling at each other.

“Are you listening to me?” Adagio called out, you now noticed.

You thought about taking on a halfheartedly apologetic tone before deciding against it. “No, sorry. Could you repeat that?”

“I was asking if you thought Allegro would be a good name for our daughter.” She put a particularly pleasant emphasis on the name there.

You thought for a moment. “Sure, that’s a pretty name, but what if we have a son?”

“Oh, I don’t think we have to worry about that.” Adagio laughed, but answered immediately. “But his name would be Bellicoso.”

You thought for another moment. “Alright. Do I get any say in this?” Adagio’s one-word answer “no” told you otherwise, and you chuckled at that. “Alright, fair enough.”

There was a big sign coming up on the side of the road, and you read it out to them. “Ponyville: A warm, self-sufficient village.”

“Ponyville, Ponyville, ah, bad memories.” Adagio almost sounded sarcastic in her phrasing, but not quite, leading you to ask about it. “What happened in Ponyville?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Well, whatever; it was probably nothing important enough to pry further.

“Why’s it called Ponyville?” Sonata always had a way of moving past the eggshells without stepping on any.

“I guess the founders really liked horses, or thought they could use them for marketing purposes at the least.” Sonata accepted the answer you’d made up on the spot without question.

For the first time since you’d joined the conversation, Aria spoke. “How much longer till we get there?”

You thought about the travel plan you’d reviewed earlier in the day and loosely did the math. “It looks like it’ll be another few hours, maybe five, and add an hour if we stop somewhere.”

“Hey, we should stop in Ponyville and eat something! They had some nice restaurants!” Sonata spoke up.

“Yeah, and we can show off a little.” Aria sounded.

“I don’t mind, but I want to stop at a buffet.” Adagio added.

“Don’t you eat enough, you cow?” That tone had returned to Aria’s voice. Adagio’s response was a simple “Fuck you.” and nothing more, without even raising her voice.

“Can’t we eat when we get there? I’m sure we can find something nicer than a small-town buffet.”

“C’mon, we’re hungry.” You couldn’t tell if Adagio were talking about her sisters along with herself, but the amusing thought didn’t matter anyway.

“Alright, alright, a buffet sounds great to me.” You didn’t really care. Sonata agreed, and Aria didn’t say anything further.

You really hated driving on these smaller, tighter, and worst-of-all unfamiliar roads with the tour bus, but you managed. Thankfully, traffic was sparse. You had the girls keep an eye out for the buffet while you focussed on driving, and it was only a little nerve-wracking when Sonata shouted in excitement, then in pain. You heard Adagio slap her on the back of the head while chastising her; well, it was probably the back of her head. You hope she’s gentler with your children.

Fortunately, it was early enough in the day that the buffet’s parking lot was mostly empty, and you parked the tour bus across the several parking spaces necessary in the back. Unfortunately, now there was a real argument.

“You’re not going to put on more clothes than that?” Aria’s voice was filled with its usual bile.

“You’re just jealous of how sexy I am, and everyone knows it.” You got your first good look at Adagio since she’d woken up, and had to agree. She was wearing a maternity dress with an open front and translucent frills, and the tight-fitting pants she usually wore, although you knew she’d had to buy a much larger size to still wear anything like them; the outfit vaguely resembled her pre-pregnancy attire in some ways. You kind of wanted to agree with Aria that she could be more modest, but your words would change nothing except Adagio’s temper, and it was still early enough that few people were at this buffet; it’s not like she wore much more on stage anyway. Your thoughts were interrupted by Aria continuing. “It’s disgusting.”

“Stop your seething that I got a husband first. If you behave yourself, I might let you have a night with him.” Aria blushed at Adagio’s suggestion, and when her eyes met yours for a split second, she looked away with a scowl, you noticed before you looked away too. It was time for you to diffuse this estrogen bomb.

You stood up, stretched for a few moments, and then opened the doors of the bus before stepping outside and waiting. They got the message and followed. Adagio was first, and you gently took her hand to help her step outside; she called you a gentleman and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. Sonata was next and, while you didn’t need to help her at all, it always made her happy when you did and Adagio didn’t mind; you gently took her hand as she exited the bus, and she was a smiling, giggling mess as she stepped out. She perhaps would’ve given you a hug, as she often did, but Aria was right behind her, still scowling, leaving no time for that. You offered Aria no help, not unusual, and she didn’t look at you while she quickly got out. You locked the door and followed the three inside, effortlessly catching up to Adagio despite her headstart.

Standing at her left side, you put your right arm around her, and rested your palm against her belly. She moved her right hand to rest over it, interleaving her fingers with yours; when she turned and looked up to smile at you, just a little, you smiled too, but much more noticeably.

The restaurant was predictably rather empty at such an early time of day. People in this town probably cook at home most of the time anyway.

The four of you paid and chose a booth; you ordered coffee as your drink. You didn’t feel too hungry, but you should probably eat just to help stay awake. Sonata sat across from you, Aria next to her, and Adagio blocked you in by sitting next to you. After your drinks arrived, only you and Adagio were sitting, while the other two got their food. Adagio chose to rest her head on your shoulder, as much as her hair would allow, before speaking.

“We can ask Aria to drive the rest of the way, if you need some rest, honey.” Adagio didn’t even suggest Sonata, or herself, knowing you’d object.

You yawned, weakening your stance. “No, I can drive the rest of the way. I just need some food.” The shitty buffet coffee was better than nothing, and you’d need to make more once you got back in the tour bus; they always made it too weak. “I think I’m going to bed early tonight. I’ll probably feel too tired to do anything else.”

“Really? Too tired for any fun?” She rubbed your leg closest to her under the table, waking you up just a little more than the coffee had.

“Well, maybe not that,” you yawned, “but have fun sightseeing without me.” You thought about them sightseeing in a big city, alone, for a moment before the fear set in your heart and made you even more alert. “On second thought, I’ll be able to accompany you girls. We can do something fun together.”

“Awww, is daddy worried about mommy and her sisters?” Adagio’s voice was drowning in sarcasm and sweetness. “You don’t have to worry about us, daddy. After all, I conquered you with my siren song, didn’t I?”

Always the siren metaphors with these three.

You tried to help Adagio slide out of the booth, but she playfully slapped your hand and stood up by herself. She offered to get your plate, and you told her to get whatever looked good. She knew what you liked, anyway. You kept an eye on her while you drank your third cup of coffee, leaving Aria to eat quietly, and ignoring the noises Sonata was making while she ate whatever mess she’d made.

Adagio was walking alongside the food, and you looked a little further to see some other pregnant woman doing the same. You took another sip of coffee while watching them. Things were quiet enough, and they were close enough, for you to listen in on them once they noticed each other. Maybe they’d congratulate each other, or something sweet.

They glared at each other for a moment, of course they glared at each other, although you have no clue why, and then Adagio spoke. “Oh, hello, Apple Bloom was it? I just need that slice of cake and I’ll be out of your way.” There was a single slice of chocolate cake on a plate behind the protective glass, on the far side of the display. Adagio hadn’t mentioned knowing anyone here earlier.

“It’s “Applejack,” and I was aimin’ to get that last slice if ya don’t mind.” Oh, she didn’t know her so well, it seems.

“That’s funny, because I do mind.” Adagio was always blunt before she got angry. She was hot when she was angry, but still.

Neither of them moved. Instead, they continued to glare at each other. Applejack’s hands were supporting her from behind, much like Adagio’s, but then she stuck out a finger accusingly. “Now listen here, Little Miss Popstar, I was here first, and I don’t plan on doin’ anything you want, in fact. You’ve got a lot of nerve showing yer face in Ponyville after everything you and those sisters of yours tried to pull.” Hey, that other girl wasn’t so bad when she got angry, either.

You sighed, downed your coffee, and stood up from the booth. You need to break this up before one of them starts yelling. You noticed they were so close they were touching, or at least their bumps were. If you’d been less tired, you probably would’ve been able to enjoy that sight, but you’ve also lost the taste for women fighting these past few years.

“Sweetheart,” you yawned after approaching Adagio from behind, and both of them turned their heads to look at you, “let her have it.” You yawned again, which was enough time for Adagio to retort.

“But I want it.” Adagio huffed. “Why does this hick,” Adagio almost sounded like she was about to spit with that last word, “get to have it?”

“Adagio, I’ll ask them to make another cake.” You thought of something to add to further dissuade her. “That cake’s probably been sitting there for hours, anyway.” You wanted to add a “come on” or a “please” to the end of that, but another yawn escaped you instead.

Adagio sighed for a moment. “Alright, honey, I’ll go ask them, and you get something for yourself.” The blonde girl took the cake and left, never taking her eyes off the two of you, and sat somewhere you couldn’t see. Adagio went to the counter and you loaded a plate with some crappy food.

Another estrogen bomb properly diffused.

Point of View: You're "Married" to both Applejack and Adagio Dazzle

She approached you, microphone in hand, and her siren song was the only noticeable element besides her gorgeous form. The lights, the cheers, and the stage didn’t exist to you. Adagio Dazzle had chosen you. Your vision began to darken across its periphery, but you didn’t pass out. As if before a moment had passed, the two of you were almost naked and her rear pinned you to the wall but, when you woke up, the beautiful blonde hair of your wife Applejack was what greeted your eyes, rather than the back of Adagio’s head. Her warmth felt distant, there was quite a bit of room between your naked bodies, so you shuffled in bed to close the distance and embrace her. You ran your left hand over her sleeping form, and rested it over your child growing within her; fatherhood scared you, but you banished the thought for now and tried to return to your dream.

No, that wasn’t right. You shouldn’t be dreaming about some celebrity. It’d break Applejack’s heart if she could read your thoughts right now. Still, returning to sleep did sound nice, so you shuffled just a little closer and closed your eyes back. Seconds passed.

Applejack had other plans, you clearly heard her waking up, and her movements against your body were certainly nicer than some dream. “Mornin’.” A simple word, always beautiful in her voice, even though she was yawning when she said it. She started to stretch and tried to turn over to face you, but you gently held her in place and propped yourself up to kiss her cheek. She let you hold her like that for a few minutes more before speaking up. “If we don’t get outta bed, we won’t get anythin’ done, ya know.”

“What exactly is there to do today, honeycrisp?” She smiled at the nickname. She stopped smiling when you reminded her with your next words. “You’re not fit for farmwork right now, and today’s my day off anyway.”

She blew a raspberry. “I’ll find something to do.” She sat herself up, with your help; shuffled off the bed, again with your help; and walked over to the wardrobe. You were planning to wear nothing more than boxers and a T-shirt for the moment, but she handed you a pair of pants and you figured she was serious about doing something around the house. She slipped into her panties, bra, and shirt by herself, tying the shirt in a knot to cover her bosom since it no longer fit her otherwise. You were tying your shoes when she held up her folded blue jean shorts and her skirt in each hand and asked for your opinion. “What d’ya think, partner, shorts or skirt?”

You glanced at her hips with nothing more than panties covering her. “I don’t know, no one else is in the house right now, and I’d sure like to watch you dust in just those.” She playfully hit you on the head with the shorts before moving to put the skirt away. “No, no, I prefer the skirt. It fits you better these days.”

She chuckled and handed the skirt to you, which you held open at the floor as she gently stepped into it, pulling it up to her hips so she could adjust it herself. Then you helped her slide into her shoes, tying them before finishing yours. Her leather boots had long been uncomfortable to wear with swollen feet. You stood up before earnestly asking about her plans. “Alright, so what are we doing today, sweetheart?”

Applejack walked past you as she spoke. “There’s got to be somethin’ that needs doin’ ’round here. C’mon.”

Having a well-maintained house was horrible for busy work, since every time Applejack remembered something wrong with it you had to point out that you or her brother had already fixed it. She was beginning to get frustrated walking around the house only to find nothing wrong with it, but then her stomach growled and you realized neither of you had eaten breakfast even though it was lunch time by now. “Hey, that’s what needs doing around here. We need to go on a date before you pop.” You gently poked her rather taut bump for emphasis.

“A date? I don’t know, do we have that kinda money just laying around?” You started to roll your eyes without thinking, but instead pretended to look at a light fixture before you upset her.

“I don’t think eating in town for once, just the two of us, will bankrupt us. C’mon, let me show you off a little.” You nuzzled her, but she squirmed away.

“Now you hold on, I don’t want no one seeing me all nasty and bloated like this if I can help it.” Was she blushing just a little?

“Don’t worry, we’ll go somewhere without many people, somewhere cheap.” She still looked uncertain. “It’ll be fun.”

Whether she only pretended to think for a moment or not, you couldn’t tell. “Well, alright.”

The drive into town was mostly uneventful. You watched the beautiful orchard leave your view as you drove along the dirt road and passed the gate. The scenery along the paved roads wasn’t horrible, and there were still too many trees to count, but you always felt a little guilty for leaving the property that was now yours as much as hers. You decided to tune the radio to the local news station, and listened for any news relevant to either of you. You swallowed uncomfortably after hearing the announcer mention a big concert planned for the nearby area, and your hand collided with hers as both of you reached to touch the dial.

Applejack chuckled. “I don’t like ’em either, sugarcube.” It sent a tingle down your back to hear that, almost as if she were letting you know she’d heard your thoughts earlier. You swallowed again. She’d never told you about any talking in your sleep, but maybe she wouldn’t if you did. You cleared your throat. No, she was just agreeing with you, and nothing more. Everything was fine.

“So,” you kept one hand on the steering wheel and placed the other over hers, “where do we want to go?” She smiled as your hand caressed hers, and scratched her chin with the other while she mulled over your question for a moment.

“Somewhere decent, with a lot of variety.” That sounded like a buffet to you. It would probably be pretty empty this time of day.

After you parked, you got out and managed to walk around to open Applejack’s door for her before she could, since she had a little trouble with her seatbelt this time. You did a slight bow as you held out your hand for her to grab, and you knew she liked it even though she may have rolled her eyes. She was certainly smiling while you walked to the restaurant with her, and as you held open the door for her.

As the parking lot showed, the place was mostly empty right now. You ordered drinks, found a table, and Applejack was getting her plate while you did much of nothing.

You didn’t notice the tour bus that parked outside, nor did you notice when three colorful women walked in. You did notice when you felt something warm and soft press into the back of your head, however, and your body jolted slightly for a moment. Applejack had headbumped you with her belly before, once or twice, when you were slouching and not paying attention. You turned to look at her before sitting up straight; it was odd how she could sneak up on you like that when she was in a different part of the restaurant.

You’ve done a fair amount of navel gazing these past few months, but now you were gazing at an entirely different navel. Your eyes followed the dark line upwards to see a smug face looking down at you. She was the woman from your dreams, Adagio Dazzle herself, but this felt much more like a nightmare.

“Hello, daddy. Did you miss me?” She smiled in a predatory way. “What a delightful coincidence. This is much easier than meeting you up at that barn they call a house.”

“What the fuck are you doin’ with my husband!” There she was. You turned your head to see Applejack marching over as quickly as she could.

Adagio looked aghast in a fake way, stealing your attention. “Your husband?” She resumed looking down at you. “You never told me about her! I thought I was the only girl for you!” That was said in a more genuine but still fake way, not that Applejack noticed the conspicuous lack of tears such as those beginning to form in her own eyes.

Applejack glared at you too, sputtering. “I-I can’t believe ya cheated on me?! Why, wasn’t I good enough for ya?!” Now the tears were freely flowing.

You took a moment to swallow in a way that only made you look more guilty. “I never cheated on you! Honest!”

“Then explain yourself already!” Applejack spoke while wiping tears from her face. Adagio, you didn’t notice, was content to just stand and watch both of you.

“I, I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember ever seeing her. I swear to Celestia, Applejack, I swear!” Her silent look managed to squeeze more words out of you. “Uh, I, I’ve had a few weird dreams about her lately, but that’s all!”

Adagio placed a finger underneath your chin and turned you to face her. “Now, now, hubbie, don’t you remember driving through town one night, alone, and seeing a concert in the middle of town? Don’t you remember my sweet siren song?” Your heart was beating too loudly for you to hear someone mutter “our siren song, you fat bitch” at a nearby table.

Adagio giggled, ever fake. “Of course, I suppose half the point is that you don’t remember, now isn’t it?” You forcefully but still gently enough removed her finger from your chin. Turning back to face Applejack, you noticed she was right on top of you now to get at Adagio. You had to lean back and shrink in your chair while they butted up against the other as well as they could.

“I get it now.” Applejack pointed her finger at Adagio, and it looked like she was struggling to not ball it into a fist. “You stole my husband you fuckin’ siren, you fuckin’ whore!” She jutted her neck out a little for that last word.

Adagio kept her hands behind her back, and you only now noticed her two sisters looking ready to pounce at the drop of a hat. “I guess I did. Now what are you going to do about it?”

“I’ll skin ya alive, you evil bitch!” You had to break this up, at the very least because you were stuck between and underneath them, but also for your child still inside Applejack, and even your possible child in Adagio. You quickly, but still as gently as you could manage, snaked your hands up, over, and between them to slowly push them apart. Not really thinking, and without time to think anyway, their bosoms were really the only part of their bodies you could push from without hurting anything, or anyone. Thankfully, no one had broken out her claws—you stole a glance at Adagio’s sisters—or teeth, yet.

“No one’s killing anybody today! Let’s just calm down!” You didn’t even look at Adagio when you spoke, only locking eyes with Applejack. “Calm down, honeycrisp, calm down, for the baby.”

You, Applejack, Adagio, and her two sisters were sharing a table, somewhat. Snot-filled napkins littered the floor and table where Applejack sat.

“Why don’t we just share him? You get him half of the year, and we get him the other half. Deal?” While better than Adagio’s first suggestion to share you three months out of the year, you knew Applejack would never accept, and you didn’t really like the idea either. You still really hoped you were dreaming somehow, but you couldn’t wake up.

You turned to look at her again after that suggestion. Applejack’s face was red, and she looked like she was going to start bleeding through her nose. You gently ran your hand along her cheek. “It’ll be okay, honeycrisp, so long as we have our family it’ll be okay. Just stay calm, for the baby.” She managed to smile at you.

“And what about our baby, love?” While you were tending to Applejack, Adagio had taken your hand to rest it on her bump without you noticing. This entire situation was insane. You needed to learn why Adagio hated Applejack enough to do this to you, today. You started racking your mind for anything Applejack had mentioned about magic and monsters over the years. She’d never been one to brag about anything like this. Your totalled train of thought fully derailed at yelling from one of the sirens.

“Ooh, ooh, can I have a baby too?” Adagio’s sister with the blue hair shouted another inanity, and you winced watching Adagio slap her on the back of the head. You hoped she treated your child—well it probably was your child the longer this went on—more gently than that. You’d thought you and Applejack had everything planned out well enough, but a demonic half-sibling really changes things.

Today would feel very long.

Point of View: You're Married to Neither Applejack nor Adagio Dazzle

You stretched out in your seat and slid down it just a little. It was a quiet day, in a quiet buffet, in a quiet town, and there was nothing to do except let the coffee and food gradually wake you. You had nothing better to do.

You looked around the mostly empty restaurant. There were quite a few women here today, each with a different hair colour and style; you eventually noticed two were in a motherly way. They didn’t notice you looking at them with your peripheral vision, so you continued to watch out of boredom while you lazily picked at your food. They soon enough noticed each other and started talking, but you weren’t really paying attention to their words. They seemed to be arguing about something, and their louder voices made it much harder to ignore them. It got so heated they literally bumped into each other, and you decided to turn your head to get a better look at them, not that they’d notice with how each was glaring at the other. They were both standing that way pregnant women do, with their hands behind their backs, making them jut outward quite a bit. The blonde moved her hand to stick a finger out at the other, and started talking again. They were arguing about a piece of cake, it seemed, and you got an idea. It was a bad idea to interfere, but you were bored enough to do it anyway. You stood up and walked towards them, clearing your throat to get their attention after you drank in the sight of them a little better first.

“Ladies, allow me to settle this matter in a fair way.” You moved your hand back-and-forth, and they stepped back so you could step inbetween them. You leaned over a little to get at the slice of cake more easily, and for no other reason. With the plate in your hand, you turned around and went back to your table. There was a large mirror that allowed you to see the looks on their faces: the blonde was staring at you, scowling with her mouth open; the redhead or whatever was just glaring like she’d glared at the blonde.

You sat back down and took a bite out of the cake. You didn’t like it, it was too sweet, but you liked their reaction enough to finish it, trying not to laugh and choke on it. You were trying to avoid looking at them so as to not make it too obvious, even though it was, so you didn’t notice when they finally huffed and went somewhere you couldn’t see.

It didn’t occur to you to wonder why, so early in the day and with so few people present, only a single slice of cake remained. Had it, you perhaps would’ve looked around, first suspecting a fat guy, only then to find a thin girl with pink hair eating every other slice of cake in the building.