Our Little Weather Service (The Jobs Humans Can't Do)
View Online
My Little Dashie's Teenage Rebellion, In Which She Tells Her Daddy That His Plan To Keep Her 'Safe' SUCKS
Our Little Weather Service (The Jobs Humans Can't Do)
"No," my adopted daugher said. "That's a stupid idea."
What an adorable sight, my fourteen year old pegasus daughter scolding me like she thought SHE was the grownup.
I held out the casino brochure. "But we need the money! So we can buy that place in the country with no one around to see you, so you can finally fly as much as you want!"
"So you think you'll get lucky at the casino. Which is a stupid idea. Do you think those places are charities? No, the way they stay in business is by taking money from suckers."
"Are you calling me a sucker?"
"Look in the mirror. LISTEN to yourself. Taking your life savings to a gambling casino isn't a way to get rich. No, it's a way to throw away a lot of the hard work you've done these last ten years."
"I know it's a gamble. Everything in life is a gamble. When I looked inside a dirty cardboard box and found you? That was a gamble too."
"If we're going to gamble, we need a game with more winners and less losers. Daddy, there's something I've been thinking about for a while."
"Oh?"
"I remember you telling me about when you were younger. You used to reach out to try to help your neighbors. If you saw trash lying around, you'd help clean it up. If someone's house was graffitti'd, you'd help them paint over it."
"When I was younger and more naive. When I thought people in this town could care about anything other than themselves."
"Maybe it's time you thought about reaching out again. To help other people."
"What are you saying? You want us to put on hi-vis vests and walk around picking up trash?"
"No. I mean, I respect people who want to do that, but I have a different idea."
"So what is it?"
"Do you remember how, a month ago, I was flying so fast through clouds that I was busting them into little pieces?"
"Yes, and I told you not to do that again. The last thing we need is for lots of people to see you, enough to figure out you aren't just some drug hallucination or urban myth."
"I don't want to live my entire life hiding like a coward."
"You aren't a coward! We're just trying to keep you safe! Humans are dangerous. Humans can't be trusted. Humans are...are..."
"You're a human. And I trust you, I've trusted you for as long as I can remember. And I've never been sorry for trusting you, not for even one second."
"Not all humans are like me."
"But I think a lot of humans ARE good, or want to be good, if we give them a chance."
***
I think every teenager argues with her parents sooner or later. And as arguments go, this was a big one. It went on for days, and much of that time we were barely even speaking to each other, we were so upset. I was afraid for Rainbow, and she was angry at me, and I guess I got angry too.
But finally, I told Rainbow if she wanted to try her crazy idea, I would help her. I wanted to try to make sure she wouldn't get taken advantage of, and besides, she needed a 'front man,' a regular human who didn't look like a flying horse.
***
The first thing I did was make a website.
Sunshine and Rain Weather Service
Does your special outdoor event need clear, sunny skies? Need help saving your crops from a drought? Talk to us.
Please enter your contact information below, and tell us what you need and why.
At first, no one noticed the website at all.
But when my cousin in Baltimore looked at the site, she suggested I should reach out to couples who are planning weddings. People get ridiculously fancy about their weddings, like they think the world revolves around that ONE special day.
Some people are so extreme, if someone from a 'weather service' reaches out to them, they'll even tell that person what kind of weather they need, exactly when and where.
One thing about weddings is, there are professional wedding planners and specialist businesses that make lots of money promising to arrange the perfect weddings of their clients' dreams.
After enough weddings got exactly the weather they needed, even when the forecast had threatened gray overcast or rain? After thunderstorms somehow dissolved just in time, or got pushed the long way around to avoid a park where a wedding was being held? The wedding planners started to accept we were for real, even if some of them tried to keep us 'their little secret.'
But you can't keep a secret forever.
When more and more online video sites started showing footage they called 'mysterious weather control drone?' or 'Amazing Flying Horse of Detroit,' I was afraid for Dashie. The more people believed in her, the more people might try to hurt her, or the government might try to take her.
Dashie had told me she could move fast enough to dodge a bullet, but I wasn't sure I believed her.
What I didn't expect, though, was the day when 'Sunshine and Rain Weather Service' received two very important messages, and one very important visit.
The first message was a video, of what looked like another cartoon pony, but in a real world setting. She flew around inside a bedroom (if the video wasn't fake) and she said
I never knew there was anypony like me in this world. But last week, for the first time, I saw some videos of 'Detroit Flying Horse,' and I finally started to believe I might NOT be alone.
But even if there was another pony like me, how could I find her? Detroit is a big city, and I'm just one little horse who isn't very brave.
Yesterday, the humans who have been sheltering me heard about a wedding planning service that offers a money back guarantee you'll get the weather you need and ALWAYS seems to deliver. I did some web searches, and I found your site.
Is your service run by a pegasus like me, who can bust clouds and control rain? Please be real. Please tell me I'm not all alone, the only one of my kind.
The visit? That was three men (and two women) weating dark suits, and high tech communications gear in their ears.
Dashie and I could see them on our outdoor security cameras, even before they knocked on our front door.
"What should we do?" I wondered. "They might be here to kidnap you, and lock you up in Area 51."
"Pfft!" Dashie said. "Let's answer it. If they try to kidnap or hurt anyone, I can beat them up before they know what hit them."
"Do you think you MIGHT be a bit too cocky?"
"Naah. I think, if we ignore them, THAT'S when they might come back with more people. So let's find out what they want."
I told Dashie to hide someplace where she could hear what the visitors said, and I opened the door. The five visitors asked to come inside, and I said yes.
"'Sunshine and Rain Weather Service?' asked their leader.
"Well...what if I am?"
"Please let me be frank. You represent a capability that, to the best of our knowledge, no other nation has mastered. Controlling the weather! Not just cloud seeding, but building, relocating, and destroying clouds to order. And that one hurricane that was about to hit New York City, until it mysteriously swerved and weakened?"
I smiled. "I can neither confirm nor deny."
"Our weather analysts say you've been careful not to abuse this power either. If a place doesn't get rain one day, you seem to make sure there will be rain to make up for it the next day, or the day before, so no drought results."
I didn't want to explain Dashie's beliefs about making sure the weather balances out, 'so the pegasus magic keeps working right.' "We try to do our best."
"Several departments of the federal government have taken an interest in you. As a compromise, those departments agreed to ask you to accept U.S. Secret Service protection, because it would be against the national interest to let any foreign government or criminal group harm or capture you."
I blinked. This was not QUITE what I'd been expecting. You see movies about government conspiracies to capture aliens or people with special powers. And you see videos online about places like 'Area 51.'
But I had to admit, if the U.S. government could find us and send people to talk to us, other governments, or other people who wanted to control Rainbow's special abilities, could probably do the same.
Maybe we'd gotten lucky, with this government offer.
I said, "I think I'll have to talk with my silent partner, first."
Dashie flew into the room. "I think we should say yes. Because if we get official government protection, we could do more jobs. We could stop droughts and famines where people are starving. I want a supersonic plane that can fly all the way around the world. We could fly to Africa, stop a drought, and fly back home, all before lunch."
The visitor who seemed to be the boss grinned. "I don't have authority to give you a plane myself. But I can ask around. Like I said, several departments are interested in you. Maybe you can use their rivalry to your advantage, to get different departments to offer you what you want."
On my computer screen, another message arrived. Dashie played the video, of a unicorn who said she'd been learning how to move clouds around with her horn. She thought she could help us scale up to handle bigger jobs.
The visitors stared. "A SECOND creature with weather control abilities?"
Another asked, "Do you think that video is real, or a fake?"
I shrugged. "I don't know yet."
"Either way, if you want the Secret Service to protect you while you investigate, we'd be happy to help."
***
I finally talked to a lawyer, who referred me to another lawyer, who referred me to a law firm and some accountants. The way things shook out, Sunshine and Rain is now a government contractor. Rainbow and I bought that big place out in the country, and dozens of little magical cartoon ponies live there with us. Finally, Rainbow gets to play and work with other ponies like herself.
It's a good life, in some ways better than I thought I'd ever be able to give her.
I hope we can keep doing it forever.
Addendum
I want to thank ROBCakeran53, not only for writing the original "My Little Dashie," but also for being the best sport EVER.
