Broken hearted

Sunday.

That day in a week, when you think, that you can finally rest from all shit which ending week gave you.

Day, when you can do what you want.

Day free from work, and - what is most important for me - other ponies. Day, when YOU decide what mood you'll be, and noone can change that.

Or is it ?

...

It was normal sunday morning for me. As always, I was tired and discouraged by what was happening outside - giggles and happinness of ponies in Ponyville.

I got up from my bed and - as always - I went up to the window to close it. Before I did it, I looked out of it, curious a little of what bullshit "happy-yappy folks" will teach other ponies.

At this point, I saw her. Pink mare with bushy mane and tail, three balloons as cutie mark, blue eyes and too wide - in my opinion - smile. She was jumping around, like she usually did, no matter what day of week we had. She laughed at various things, which i hadn't ever found funny - birds flying, sun shining and other stuff.

Suddenly, she bumped into some donkey - or was she with him all the time ? I don't have fucking clue.

I saw them right in time to hear her starting to sing.

My name is Pinkie Pie,

And I am here to say,

I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day!

Argh, I hated those songs. They were so naive and childish... They never sang about something important, but only about friendship, laugh or some other shit, that Celestia tried to beat in Equestrians heads.

But - damn it ! - curiosity won, as I kept watching this solo performance turning into some kind of musical.

As time - and words of song - passed, I saw more and more ponies following her, without any logical reason. They sang, just like her:

Come on, everypony, smile, smile, smile.

Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine.

All I really need is a smile, smile, smile,

From these happy friends of mine!

As I heard this choir-improvisation, I knew, that I've had enough.

"ARGH !" I muttered and slammed the shutter. Not loud enough to drown out the song, but loud enough to everybody could hear it. "What the fuck is wrong with you ?!"

I turned back to my room, now dark, because of lack of light. Song from outside was still hearable - damn it was as loud as before !

I went up to the adapter and I chose loudest and darkest heavy rock song I could find.

I had to escape from Pinkie song, before I'd went crazy.

"Save me, Black Eagle." I said, when song started.

23 year ov long journey

among the living dead

on nonsense nourish'd I

my naked soul and where am i?

in the palace ov underworld

without enemy nor friend

pay I for fathers legacy

half-man, half-beast

DEMIGOD

Music was loud, intense and brutal. That's how I liked.

Erotic sensations tingle my spine

A dead body lying next to mine

Smooth blue black lips

I start salivating as we kiss

Mine forever this sweet death

I cannot forget your soft breaths

Panting excitedly with my hands around your neck

Death's the epidemic we spread

Acts of brutality humiliate all goodness

The final war was easy to win

Life was a mistake and now it belongs to the past

I know, that this was weird - listen to songs like this, but I didn't rally listen to this one - I played it to drown up song outside.

And it worked. As song finished, I heard no more singing from outside.

"Yay." I said, imitating Fluttershy.

...

With music taste like mine, you might wonder, where was I working for rest of the week.

You'll be surprised.

I work at Sugar Cube Corner.

Yes, Sugar Cube Corner.

Thanks to Celestia, I didn't have to meet daughter/niece/granddaughter of Mr. and Mrs. Cake personally. I was a delivery colt. You know, delivering cakes, pies and cupcakes to clients, who couldn't appear in bakery personally, or just were too lazy, to move their asses here.

Pay was good, bosses polite and nice for me (even if I wasn't nice for them, but that's another story), so I kinda liked that job.

Until I met her personally.

That day, Mr. and Mrs. Cake had to go out for some meeting with family or some stuff like that.

They left me simple instructions, what to do - get cakes, deliver them, come back for another party, and do it for rest of the day.

"Pinkie Pie will run the shop, when we leave." Mrs. Cake said, as she and her husband went downstairs, and headed to the exit.

Wait, what ?

"Mrs. Cake, why her ?"  I asked. "I know what to do, I don't need nanny."

"I know, Broken Hearted" she answered, standing in the exit. "But she's the only one here, beside us, who know how to bake cakes." she gave me a little smile. "Can you do that ?"

I shook my head in resignation. "No."

"Don't worry, you'll be outside for most of the time." Mr.Cake knew about my aversion to their relative. He then turned to the stairs and cried. "Pinkie, come over here !"

Here it goes. I thought, as I heard incoming mare - it wasn't hard, she jumped downstairs like she was on cocaine or some shit.

"Pinkie, we're leaving." Mrs. Cake said. "You know what to do."

"Yup  !"

I cringed, hearing the shout of pink mare, which I didn't like too much. This will be a looong day...

Hours later, when sun started to set, I came back with empty saddleboxes, where cakes used to be.

I came in Sugar Cube Corner. As I opened the door, there was a ring of little bell, hanging by the door.

Of course,Pinkie jumped out of  nowhere, more specifically - right in front of me.

"Sweet Celestia !" I jumped back, scared as hell.

"What ?" she asked.

"Don't scare me like that, dammit !" I barked, as I rose up from where I fell on my butt. "It's not funny."

She watched me, as I strapped boxes of my flank and levitated them to counter. Her expression... Well, to be honest I didn't even look at her. But I suppose, that she was worried.

I sighed in relief and sat down on the floor. I looked around, just to keep myself away from her eyes.

Light of a setting sun fell through the windows, patches of orange light lied around walls, floor and counter, where my saddleboxes lied.

I started to remember, how it looked like in the past.

When I had friends.

When my parents lived.

When I was happy.

My childhood was happy, yeah, more to say - happy as hell ! I've got a group of friends, on who I could always count on, I've had my parents, who could always cheer me up when I was sad...

Then, everything became fucked up.

I felt single tear flowing down my cheek.

Damn it.

I looked at her. She was really worried and kinda sad. Not as sad to get her mane straight, but sad enough to make it visible.

What the fuck are you looking at ? I thought, keeping my eyes on her. She kept her eyes on me. Never seen somepony crying ? I chuckled ironically. Oh, I forgot, you're the Element of Laugh !

"Wha-what happened ?" She asked, coming closer.

I could feel her breath on my forehead, her mane was tickling the top of my head.

"Not your business" I barked.

"You can tell me. We can solve..." she kneeled, right in time for me to get up.

"This can't be solved." I said, backing down to exit. "You'll never understand." I turned back from her. "Nopony will."

As I reached to the door, she - again - appeared from nowhere, again in front of me. She pushed me back gently, and when I wanted to push her away, she locked the door.

I looked at her, surprised. I rose my eyebrow and groaned with irritation, trying to get to the door.

But she...She wasn't going to give up. She pushed me away again.

And again.

And again.

"Listen, I don't have time for "giggle-smiggle" shit" I drawled out. "I'm not "happy-yappy-snappy folk", who'll help you cheering the others and making Equestria "beam"."

"Why ?" she asked simply.

"Why ? Why ?" I put down my hoof down with a stomp. "As I said, not your freakin' business." My horn glow, as I tried to pull key out of her mouth, but she...she again wasn't going to give up. "Give me that damned key ! "

"No." she stepped back, and then threw key away.

It slid under the counter. I laughed sarcastically, my horn glow again, as I levitated that damned thignie from under that furniture.

In next moment, she caught it, and didn't let go, until my magic got exhausted and I had let it down.

"When I'll tell you" I snarled. "will you let me go ?"

"It depends." she answered.

"Of ?"

"Of if I could help you."

CELESTIA DAMN IT !

I sighed and sat down again. She was staring at me, waiting to hear something from me.

I looked at her. Pure energy, laugh and happiness in a pony body. Element of Harmony.

Harmony I didn't believe in.

I wanted to say her everything...or not. I wanted to share my secrets with her...but she'll surely tell them to her friends, only "to help me". Bullshit.

"Have you ever been alone ?" I started unexpectedly. "Really alone ?"

"Well" she scratched her head. "Once, when my friends..."

"Without friends." I interrupted her. "Without anypony."

She looked shocked by only perspective like this. She looked at me, trying to smile.

But she couldn't.

I made Element of Laugh sad. Really sad.

"Shocked, huh ?'' I huffed ironically. "That's how my life looks for years."

"Bu-but how ?" she whispered.

"How what ?" I muttered.

"How can you live like this ?"

I laughed bitterly. She didn't understand me, as I expected. She looked so surprised and shocked as if she saw a ghost.

I shook my head, trying not to burst off with a loud, sad laugh.

"I got used to it." I said. "I got used to lonely nights and days. I got used to lack of laugh, joy and happiness. I got used to lack of warm words or feelings of somepony close."

"B-but how ?" she started to shake, only Celestia knows why. Maybe she was starting to cry. Or it was cold inside. "Life like this..."

"You don't know anything about life !" I yelled, with tears appearing in my eyes."For you, life is a fucking party ! Having fun with friends of all kinds ! NO WORRIES ! FUN ! HAPPINESS ! SMILE ! You treat life like a fucking gift from Celestia-knows-who !"

"B-but isn't life be-beautiful" she stammered.

"Life ? Beautiful ?" I bursted out a ironic laugh. "Life is a fucking misery ! Sequence of of failures and disasters !" I looked at her, she cringed. "But not for you, oh no. You're the Element of Laugh, you are always happy ! You'll always have friends, even if that ones you have now will let you down !"

She came closer and tried to hug me.

I pushed her away. Last thing I needed in this fucking confession was touch of somepony else. She tried again.

I pushed her away harder.

"You sing songs, you dance you jump around like a grasshopper" I drawled out. "You treat life like a fucking show."

"I don't." she tried to argue.

I didn't even bother her anymore. Words poured from depths of my heart in a dark river of feelings, held back since my parents died and my friends turned away from me.

"If life was a fucking musical, I would go around the city, singing idiotic song, and all my problems would disappear." I nearly sobbed."But it's a reality, so I can only hug myself in bed and repeat, that everything will be alright." I looked at her. Tears appeared in her eyes too. I didn't care if she was crying, I just wanted to get rid of all that shit that gathered in me over those miserable years. "If it was some fairy tale, I would ask some wizard to cast a spell, which would wash my worries away."

I finally let her hug me. I felt her trembling in tears, as I continued. "But it's reality, so I can only live my life,endure whatever it brings." I felt her tears soaking my mane, I heard her silent sobs, but I continued. "My friends left me. My parents died years ago, leaving me their house. House full of fucking memories, which I'd like to forget. I live like that since five-six years. That's what happened." I tried to push her away, but she was holding still, crying. "I live. That's the problem."

"No..." she whispered. "Life isn't a problem."

"For you." I finally managed to break off her hug and grab the key.

I trotted to the door and opened it. Then I looked back, at her.

She was sitting on first stair, where I sat down when confession started. She was looking at me with eyes full of tears.

"Please...'' she asked. "Don't run away..." she stood up. "I can help you..."

"What will you do ?" I huffed ironically. "Sing me to "Smile, Smile, Smile" ?"

"I will be your friend." she came closer, offering a hug.

I turned away and walked into the night. She walked out after me, still offering a hug.

"I don't need friends !" I shouted. My voice bounced off the walls, causing an loud echo. "I've had ones and I'm tired of friendship."

I trotted away, sobbing quietly, without looking back at her.

I heard her sitting down and starting to cry. Not that nice-funny type of cry, that was heartbreaking sad.

But I continued my trot, until I reached my home...my parents home.

Crying, I trotted up, I found my bedroom, and I fell on my bed.

Why ? Why her ? Why she tried that ? Why she touched old wounds ? Why was she so inquisitive ? I thought, as my sobs got louder and longer. Why was she pushing that much ? What her goal was ? What did she want from me ? WHY ?! WHAT FOR ?! WHYY ?! WHYYYYY ?!