*+* Chapter Two *+* The Beginning *+* Part Two *+*

Spike stares down at the look on the youthful little face of his past self. So innocent, young, and free. He remembers this memory. This day was a very jovial day. He even got to have Twilight's special hot cocoa after everycreature else went home. It honestly hurts to just think about it, to be fair. It was shortly before Twilight's coronation, even Sunset was there.

'Fuck. This is just making me sick.'

He looks at everycreature's faces, their muzzle fixed into gleeful smiles. He can feel the wonderfulness of the day they had just radiating off of them. A significantly cherished memory to all that experienced it. His face contorts into a grimace, loathing yet treasuring this memory. Loathing because out of the seventeen he sees there, six, including himself, are the only ones living...

'... Wait... Spike, shut up. Mom is alive. There are seven creatures out of this group of seventeen that are alive! Stop acting like she's dead. She wouldn't fully abandon you.'

He slams his light mulberry fists against his head, his much larger than then wings outspreading in frustration at his whole life's situation, the scaly and pointed pinions going right through the little dragon and pale, light grayish mulberry Alicorn beside him, like he's a non-existent ghost. Which he is, in this dream, anyway. This is just another memory.

Something trying to pull him down... again. All his memories do is taunt him. Reminding him of a better time... when he didn't have to rely on his aunt or cousin for support.

'I'm such a big pussy. All I do is rely on them! I'm a dragon... ugh. They're suffering, too! Why do I always mope around and-'

Spike is suddenly cut from his self-loathing thoughts by the feeling of a certain golden-shoed Alicorn shaking him awake.

"Spike? Spike? Are you okay?"

He hears Cadence's very concerned voice in his light lime green ear fronds, as his face immediately rushes up from his knees and his gaze falls upon a very fretful Cadence, who is clearly really worried about him.

"Spike, I'm so sorry for waking you up, but, I couldn't help but notice you were crying in your sleep again... I know it's hard, it is for all of us, but, do you want to talk about it...?"

Spike's eyes widen as she asks this. Literally nopony has asked this, since Sunset's death. It's just too painful for everycreature to talk about the past nowadays. Living so long hurts.

"... Maybe, Cadence... I don't want to upset you."

Spike finally sighs, trying to look a bit presentable in front of Cadence as he wipes his eyes and removes the gunky snot that has exited his snout as he wept in his sleep. He has to do it himself, now he's older and without his mom.

Cadence's muzzle contorts into a small smile as she watches Spike do this, recalling the many times she saw Twilight do this to Spike or herself doing this to Flurry Heart.

'Where do the years go?'

She internally asks herself, wondering how the fuck does time pass so slow yet so fast? Ever since her husband's death, everything's been so confusing. She's still so glad she still has her little filly... even if her filly is all grown up now. Flurry Heart is one of Cadence's links to normalcy.

Spike continues to look at Cadence, yet, now with a small smile. He's happy she hasn't changed over this very long period of time. She's still always there for him. She always has been... well, since they reconnected after her wedding with Shining Armor.

'Fuck sake. Yet ANOTHER thought about them.'

"... We can talk later, if you want to, Cadence... I just don't want the either of us to get upset... thinking about... them."

Spike's voice is a mutter, yet again. He's always muttering these days. That youthful spark fully died down after Twilight disappeared.

"That's be great, Spike. It's about time we stop bottling up our feelings, okay?"

Cadence nods at Spike's reply, inputting her own into the conversation. She rests a golden-shoed forehoof on his shoulder in a silent supportive motion, yet, gesturing for him to get up. It's about time for him to eat.

"How about we go to the dining hall and get you a meal? You haven't had a proper one in months... I'm worried."

Cadence decides to put it bluntly, her worry seeping into her tone as she says this.

Spike looks up at her, a sheepish expression on his face. He knows he's been neglecting his health the past few years, since Twilight left, but, he just can't help it. Everything was as good as it could be before she left. Friendship between her subjects were greater than ever, Spike was finally feeling okay again. Even Twilight seemed okay. Guess she was just masking.

"... Sorry, Cadence... you know how it's been and all... Sure... I can come with you."

Cadence's eyebrows raise in shock, and yet, excitement at Spike's agreement to come with her and actually eat a proper meal. It's been months since he has. A broad smile spreads across her muzzle as she realises Spike has actually accepted her offer. She easily picks him up in her magic, and trots off towards the dining hall.

Spike immediately yelps as he feels himself being lifted into the air without his permission, trying to grab onto anything he can, before realising he's safe, and lets himself be dragged along by Cadence through the air... even if he could easily walk himself.

Cadence uses her magic to open the tall dining room doors, jovially trotting inside, pulling Spike along with her in the air, and is met with Celestia, Luna, Flurry Heart, and even Discord sat at the dining table, all enjoying and eating breakfast. Pancakes. She teleports Spike into his designated chair, and sits in her own.

All but Cadence and Flurry Heart are surprised that Spike is in the dining hall. He hasn't for literal months at this point. The last time was because Celestia forced him out of his room. She clearly wanted to converse with somecreature familiar.

Discord dramatically spits out his tea, the tea disappearing in thin air just before it hits Luna, and he deforms his body slightly so he can look right at Spike.

"Well, what a surprise! Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious has exited his room!"

Discord grins in his typical mischievous though everycreature is clearly flabbergasted at the fact Spike is actually up and in the dining hall, and, hopefully going to eat. He doesn't have the appetite he had while living with Twilight in the Castle of Friendship.

"Haha... yeah... uhm... I'm just gonna... eat."

Spike awkwardly chuckles, looking around him at the surprised others before eating up the pancakes he has on his plate, wiping his snout with the back of a claw bashfully afterwards.

'Gosh, these could never compare to Pinkie Pie's or Twilight's pancakes.'

Celestia and Luna regally giggle at Spike's antics, remembering the times they had spent together previously before all of this happened, the happy and youthful Spike eating up all the food Twilight had served him vigorously and gratefully, nearly always asking for seconds. He's since lost that youthful spark or the need to ask for seconds, but, at least they could still see the Spike they once knew in him.

Flurry Heart groans and rolls her eyes, wondering why the fuck her cousin, who was raised by a posh Canterlot unicorn, who later turned into a Princess, like Twilight, eats so crazily.

However, Discord and Cadence both chortle at the slight mess Spike created while eating. It too reminds them of previous times, when they knew the old Spike, the baby dragon.

~ A few hours later, it's six in the evening.

Spike had spent most of his day being in the presence of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Flurry Heart, and Discord, but he had retreated to his bedroom. His feelings had started going down again. He didn't want to cry in front of them, he just wanted to see his mom again. For her to tell him it's okay. For her to tell him he's okay.

He jumps onto his bed, finally having his stomach full after months of it rarely having any use to him. He forgot how great gems like rubies and sapphires tasted like. He slowly puts his knees tightly to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his front.

'I forgot how painful yet so fulfilling having a full stomach is... I ate too much gems. Spike, you fat prick. Of course you said that future Spike could worry about this! You are future Spike. You dick.'

He groans as he slips under the duvet in his bed, getting all coddled up and cosy... oh, how he misses still being small and sleeping in the Golden Oak Library, next to Twilight's bed... that basket was the comfiest he's ever felt. Tirek deserved his fate. Destroying Spike's best bed. Dick.

He pops his earplugs into his light lime green ear fronds, his daily routine at this point. Everything he couldn't deal with? Music.

He fiddles around, looking for his phone to plug the earplugs into, finally finding it and immediately plugging it in, opening his music app and turning on his playlist. 'I Know It's Over' by 'The Smiths', an earth pony band from before his mom left, plays into his earplugs, a small smile growing on his face. He absolutely adores 'The Smiths'.

He hums along to the tune, one he's hummed along to for over two hundred years. Oh, how he loves this song. It really does help him through his issues with himself, and how abandoned he feels by his mom.

He lays on his side, his long, scaley tail moving out of the way so he can have more room to stretch his limbs all the time as his eyes go droopy, their moderate pistachio colour getting less visible as his eyes close into a dreamless sleep.

Just as he falls asleep, he asks himself;

'What if my mom misses me just as much as I miss her?'

Author's Note

HOLY CRAP I DID THAT IN LIKE 2 HOURS! THAT'S A RECORD FOR ME!

But, thank you, everycreature, for all the tips. I love you all so much, and for motivating me.

Also, if you can't tell... The Smiths is my favourite band.

Holy crap, cliff hanger. Beware this might be changed soon.