Finding Twilight

by Princess_Twilight

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Suicide / Self Harm, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Other, Drama
Length: 3438

A very successful reign of peace indeed, Twilight did herself good. Three thousand years of Equestria and every other nation in peace. Then, she left. Abdicated. Made Equestria a republic. It all fell, and, Twilight wasn't there to help. Not at all.

A very successful reign of peace indeed, Twilight did herself good. Three thousand years of Equestria and every other nation in peace. Then, she left. Abdicated. Made Equestria a republic. It all fell, and, Twilight wasn't there to help. Not at all. No word to the immortal Spike The Dragon. No word to Discord. No word to Celestia or Luna. No word to Princess Cadence. No word to Flurry Heart. Just gone.

Equestria fell. Twilight was seen as the holder of all nations, the embodiment of what made them all come together, anyway. So, arguments came. All ponies, horrid behaviour between them all. Crimes committed. Discord just knew he had to do something. So, the unity crystals were created. As long as the ponies lived in harmony and kindness, their magic would stay. Yet, this didn't work. It made it worse. The ponies argued still. And magic disappeared, and three elected leaders of each pony type took their crystal and left, spreading across Equestria, in their own large segments of it. Other creatures shortly returned to their home lands, not wanting to be in the middle of these arguments. Spike, Luna, Celestia, and Discord left to the Crystal Empire a few weeks after the area around Ponyville and Canterlot was abandoned, only leaving Fluttershy's animals' descendants to fend for themselves.

It's two hundred years after the collapse of harmony. Spike still lives in the Crystal Empire, often helping protect it from any harm. Luckily, the crystal ponies remained in peace, and the crystal heart remained strong, even after the death of their Prince Consort, Shining Armor, over three thousand years ago.

Spike, now over three thousand, two hundred years old, is still relatively the same bubbly and snarky dragon we see in the show. It's been over two hundred years since he last heard Twilight's voice. Last seen her face. Her purple eyes. Her long, waving mane and tail. It's been so long since he'd even heard her name. Nopony mentions her anymore. Not even Flurry Heart. He doesn't even know why. Is it too painful? Do they think of her as a traitor? Is she even alive?

He spirals, every single night, alone. Not able to ever have that lavender mare to get him some hot cocoa, to help him sleep, to ease his woes and worries. Not a helping hoof from her. He was her number one assistant! Her first friend! Her son. And she left... she left him. All those years ago. No birthdays spent with him, nor anypony else. No word. Is she okay? Spike doesn't even know anymore. He only gets out of bed, for his cousin and aunt. They're letting him stay there, he better be respectful.

Discord's been okay. Yeah, sure, he's gotten rid of ponies' magic, which caused an even bigger split in ponykind, but, he's been a good help to Spike's mind. One of the only pieces of his past is an annoying prick.

Will Spike ever see Twilight again?

Published 2024-09-05 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-12-09 21:13:15 UTC

*+* Characters *+*

Author's Note

This character section will be updated as the story goes on, and more characters are added.

*+* Characters *+*

Spike The Dragon

Twilight Sparkle

Discord

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza

Flurry Heart

Celestia

Luna

*+* Chapter One *+* The Beginning *+* Part One *+*

*+* Chapter One *+* The Beginning *+* Part One *+*

The mostly purple scaled dragon sat lazily in his bed, awaiting the day to pass. The slender drake wished Twilight had made the days go faster, when she put the spell onto the sun and moon, to automate the day and night cycle. He loved sleeping in on the rainy days, and the automated weather cycle had made it a very rainy day today, just exactly how Spike likes it. Exactly how Spike always liked it.

Spike huskily groans as he rolls over in his bed, his long scaled tail hanging out of the covers his aunt Cadence kindly provided to him, and hitting the cold crystal floor, making him jump a bit in shock. He sits up in his bed, swishing his tail around himself. He stretches all four of his limbs, knowing he needs to get up, or Cadence and Flurry Heart will definitely get worried.

He rubs his purple scaled eyelids with the back of his medium sized hand, trying to rub the eternal tiredness and burn out from his eyes. Even looking at him, you could tell he was done with it all, even if he tried to stay optimistic. He stretches out his wings, before letting out a groan, and bounding his wings to his sides. He stands up with yet another groan, and decides to go outside for the first time in awhile.

He steps closer to his crystal door, the one he’s seen so many times before. Just looking at this castle makes him think of the times of his youth, the times he had fun saving everything. The time where he had friends. True friends.

He takes a large deep breath, steeling himself for the day, and wishing he had known if Twilight was to leave, and where she was. Trying to keep his cool, he hastily opens his door, accidentally slamming it onto the wall, making a loud bang echo across the entire crystal castle.

Immediately, a white Alicorn zooms around the corner, her white and pink wings thumping the air hard, her small crystal crown nearly flying off of her head. The Alicorn lands right in front of Spike, bounding her wings to her sides.

“Spike, what have I said about slamming doors?”

The short Alicorn asks, looking up at the much taller dragon, her eyes narrowed. This has clearly happened too many times.

Spike blushes, scratching at the back of his head and at the green spines that run all the down to the bottom of his tail, and looking down at the small white Alicorn.

“Sorry, Flurry. Uhh... Just force of habit?”

He awkwardly replies to the angry Alicorn, raising his claws in a shrug motion, trying to excuse himself from the beady Alicorn’s eyes. She clearly took more from Twilight than the both of her parents.

The Alicorn narrows her eyes even more, clearly angry about how much times this has happened over the course of two hundred years. Her cousin sure had the knack to slam everything, from doors to plates on the tables and to books on shelves. Was it a ‘quiet’ emotional outburst? She had no clue, not even in the slightest.

“You’re lucky my mom doesn’t tell you off these days.”

She huffs, turning away, and spreading her wings again, taking flight, and zipping around the corner she came from.

Spike breathes a sigh of relief. She let him off the hook. Again.

‘Is Cadence stopping her from telling me off all the time?’ He asks himself, clearly unsure on what’s going on.

Spike starts to slowly walk down the hallway, bipedally, as his thoughts consume him again. He was mostly worrying about Twilight, as per usual. He always did, and everypony around him noticed. Usually, his face went a bit blank, and he’d respond like he was in a day dream, doing things like he was a robot, acting dull and stoic. He usually snaps out of it shortly afterwards, however.

He’d usually go sulk in his bedroom for a few days, like he was still that baby dragon he used to be all of those years ago. Except, he doesn’t have his mom there to cheer him up, like he used to. His steps grow a bit slower, the thoughts of him Twilight, and the rest of their friends all together making him sick. Why couldn’t he have them back? Why couldn’t he have her back?

He sighs again as he begins to walk. His steps remain slow and his tail drags across the crystal floor behind him. Once he finally reaches that sweet corner, he slumps back against the wall, putting his head in his knees. His scaled tail placed limply in front of him. While he’d rather sit in his room and sulk while listening to music, he knows it’s not what Twilight would want him to do for his whole life.

‘Eugh, why do I always think of her like she’s dead...? She can’t be dead... She’s Twilight Sparkle. An Alicorn. And I doubt she was in Equestria when the Unity Crystals were created.’

He yawns, his jaw opening wide and a short, tired sound comes out of his mouth. He’s proud of himself, he’s finally out of his room after a few days! He’d rather not be the dragon that slept the days away, like he was a few years ago, but he can’t help but regress back into that state... The longer he goes without even being able to hear her voice, or see her face, the harder it gets.

She was his boss, his best friend, and most importantly, his mother. The mare who was there for him, through thick and thin. Not anymore. She left. She left all of them.

His eyes gently close, he's tired. Tired from all this thinking. Tired of all this living. Tired of all this deep and inner loneliness that he started to feel when Twilight Velvet died, which continued on until Twilight just... disappeared. She only took her memory books, regalia, and plushies of Spike, Sunset Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Starlight.

His head hangs at his knees as he slowly starts to snore, his lower back and the base of his tail against the crystal wall. His tail twitches at the end every few minutes or so, swishing back and forth slightly, as Spike awakens in the dream realm.

His eyes flutter open in surprise, as his head hastily lifts up from his knees, quickly making him stand in a 'brave and ready' stance. With the lessening amount of sleep he's been getting recently, it seems he doesn't know if he's even dreaming or if he's awake.

His eyes dart around him, looking at everywhere his eyes can lay upon.

A grassy field land, with a beautiful large oak tree upon a small hill. There seems to be many figures that he can't exactly put a claw on, he's too far away from them all to see what they truly look like. It's just like a ball of colourful fuzz on a luscious green hill.

He slowly decides to edge closer to the figures under the large oak tree, trying to make out who they were.

'Where the fuck am I, anyway?'

The not so young purple drake ponders in his mind, not exactly recognising where he is and how exactly he got there. He was sat in a crystal castle not so long ago.

Spike slowly creeps closer to the group bunched underneath the dark oak on the small hill, beginning to see it's quite a large group of creatures. Mostly pony, yes, though... different types of ponies. Six Unicorns, two Earth Ponies, two Pegasi, five Alicorns, a Draconequus, and a baby dragon.

Spike's eyes widen as he inches closer to the group. He can tell who they all are. Shining Armor, Rarity, Twilight Velvet, Night Light, Starlight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Flurry Heart... but as a filly, Princess Cadence, Discord, Celestia, Luna... Twilight... and of course, a much younger and youthful Spike.

Their faces, all so young and happy. Nopony dead. Nopony missing. An era of true peace. Happiness. Something he misses ever so badly. He misses them ever so badly.

He runs even closer, wanting to see all of their faces ever so clearly again. It's been thousands of years since he's seen some of them. Some he's seen yesterday, a few days ago, or earlier today. Some he hasn't seen in two hundred years.

He narrows his eyes, not wanting to feel the sadness of seeing the group of his closest friends in a dream, and preparing to beat the tears away, yet, they never come. He just feels numbness inside, not a new feeling, though, a very bad feeling. He always had rathered to feel drained and sad all the time than... just numbness.

He walks even closer to the group, sitting down next to Twilight and his youthful self. He smiles. At least he's next to Twilight for once, even if he is 'invisible' in this dream.

Author's Note

Hah. Cliffhanger. Same thing all my favourite writers on here do. I came up with this story idea on the toilet, and shout out to all my friends on Discord on the tips of writing!

This chapter (and others) might be rewritten.

Also, if anyone wants to help me get a cover art or give me any writing tips, it'll be VERY appreciated!

9/12/24 EDIT: The last paragraph has been removed! It won't work with my current plans for Finding Twilight. Any ideas that anycreature wants added, comment them, and I might add them.

*+* Chapter Two *+* The Beginning *+* Part Two *+*

*+* Chapter Two *+* The Beginning *+* Part Two *+*

Spike stares down at the look on the youthful little face of his past self. So innocent, young, and free. He remembers this memory. This day was a very jovial day. He even got to have Twilight's special hot cocoa after everycreature else went home. It honestly hurts to just think about it, to be fair. It was shortly before Twilight's coronation, even Sunset was there.

'Fuck. This is just making me sick.'

He looks at everycreature's faces, their muzzle fixed into gleeful smiles. He can feel the wonderfulness of the day they had just radiating off of them. A significantly cherished memory to all that experienced it. His face contorts into a grimace, loathing yet treasuring this memory. Loathing because out of the seventeen he sees there, six, including himself, are the only ones living...

'... Wait... Spike, shut up. Mom is alive. There are seven creatures out of this group of seventeen that are alive! Stop acting like she's dead. She wouldn't fully abandon you.'

He slams his light mulberry fists against his head, his much larger than then wings outspreading in frustration at his whole life's situation, the scaly and pointed pinions going right through the little dragon and pale, light grayish mulberry Alicorn beside him, like he's a non-existent ghost. Which he is, in this dream, anyway. This is just another memory.

Something trying to pull him down... again. All his memories do is taunt him. Reminding him of a better time... when he didn't have to rely on his aunt or cousin for support.

'I'm such a big pussy. All I do is rely on them! I'm a dragon... ugh. They're suffering, too! Why do I always mope around and-'

Spike is suddenly cut from his self-loathing thoughts by the feeling of a certain golden-shoed Alicorn shaking him awake.

"Spike? Spike? Are you okay?"

He hears Cadence's very concerned voice in his light lime green ear fronds, as his face immediately rushes up from his knees and his gaze falls upon a very fretful Cadence, who is clearly really worried about him.

"Spike, I'm so sorry for waking you up, but, I couldn't help but notice you were crying in your sleep again... I know it's hard, it is for all of us, but, do you want to talk about it...?"

Spike's eyes widen as she asks this. Literally nopony has asked this, since Sunset's death. It's just too painful for everycreature to talk about the past nowadays. Living so long hurts.

"... Maybe, Cadence... I don't want to upset you."

Spike finally sighs, trying to look a bit presentable in front of Cadence as he wipes his eyes and removes the gunky snot that has exited his snout as he wept in his sleep. He has to do it himself, now he's older and without his mom.

Cadence's muzzle contorts into a small smile as she watches Spike do this, recalling the many times she saw Twilight do this to Spike or herself doing this to Flurry Heart.

'Where do the years go?'

She internally asks herself, wondering how the fuck does time pass so slow yet so fast? Ever since her husband's death, everything's been so confusing. She's still so glad she still has her little filly... even if her filly is all grown up now. Flurry Heart is one of Cadence's links to normalcy.

Spike continues to look at Cadence, yet, now with a small smile. He's happy she hasn't changed over this very long period of time. She's still always there for him. She always has been... well, since they reconnected after her wedding with Shining Armor.

'Fuck sake. Yet ANOTHER thought about them.'

"... We can talk later, if you want to, Cadence... I just don't want the either of us to get upset... thinking about... them."

Spike's voice is a mutter, yet again. He's always muttering these days. That youthful spark fully died down after Twilight disappeared.

"That's be great, Spike. It's about time we stop bottling up our feelings, okay?"

Cadence nods at Spike's reply, inputting her own into the conversation. She rests a golden-shoed forehoof on his shoulder in a silent supportive motion, yet, gesturing for him to get up. It's about time for him to eat.

"How about we go to the dining hall and get you a meal? You haven't had a proper one in months... I'm worried."

Cadence decides to put it bluntly, her worry seeping into her tone as she says this.

Spike looks up at her, a sheepish expression on his face. He knows he's been neglecting his health the past few years, since Twilight left, but, he just can't help it. Everything was as good as it could be before she left. Friendship between her subjects were greater than ever, Spike was finally feeling okay again. Even Twilight seemed okay. Guess she was just masking.

"... Sorry, Cadence... you know how it's been and all... Sure... I can come with you."

Cadence's eyebrows raise in shock, and yet, excitement at Spike's agreement to come with her and actually eat a proper meal. It's been months since he has. A broad smile spreads across her muzzle as she realises Spike has actually accepted her offer. She easily picks him up in her magic, and trots off towards the dining hall.

Spike immediately yelps as he feels himself being lifted into the air without his permission, trying to grab onto anything he can, before realising he's safe, and lets himself be dragged along by Cadence through the air... even if he could easily walk himself.

Cadence uses her magic to open the tall dining room doors, jovially trotting inside, pulling Spike along with her in the air, and is met with Celestia, Luna, Flurry Heart, and even Discord sat at the dining table, all enjoying and eating breakfast. Pancakes. She teleports Spike into his designated chair, and sits in her own.

All but Cadence and Flurry Heart are surprised that Spike is in the dining hall. He hasn't for literal months at this point. The last time was because Celestia forced him out of his room. She clearly wanted to converse with somecreature familiar.

Discord dramatically spits out his tea, the tea disappearing in thin air just before it hits Luna, and he deforms his body slightly so he can look right at Spike.

"Well, what a surprise! Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious has exited his room!"

Discord grins in his typical mischievous though everycreature is clearly flabbergasted at the fact Spike is actually up and in the dining hall, and, hopefully going to eat. He doesn't have the appetite he had while living with Twilight in the Castle of Friendship.

"Haha... yeah... uhm... I'm just gonna... eat."

Spike awkwardly chuckles, looking around him at the surprised others before eating up the pancakes he has on his plate, wiping his snout with the back of a claw bashfully afterwards.

'Gosh, these could never compare to Pinkie Pie's or Twilight's pancakes.'

Celestia and Luna regally giggle at Spike's antics, remembering the times they had spent together previously before all of this happened, the happy and youthful Spike eating up all the food Twilight had served him vigorously and gratefully, nearly always asking for seconds. He's since lost that youthful spark or the need to ask for seconds, but, at least they could still see the Spike they once knew in him.

Flurry Heart groans and rolls her eyes, wondering why the fuck her cousin, who was raised by a posh Canterlot unicorn, who later turned into a Princess, like Twilight, eats so crazily.

However, Discord and Cadence both chortle at the slight mess Spike created while eating. It too reminds them of previous times, when they knew the old Spike, the baby dragon.

~ A few hours later, it's six in the evening.

Spike had spent most of his day being in the presence of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Flurry Heart, and Discord, but he had retreated to his bedroom. His feelings had started going down again. He didn't want to cry in front of them, he just wanted to see his mom again. For her to tell him it's okay. For her to tell him he's okay.

He jumps onto his bed, finally having his stomach full after months of it rarely having any use to him. He forgot how great gems like rubies and sapphires tasted like. He slowly puts his knees tightly to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his front.

'I forgot how painful yet so fulfilling having a full stomach is... I ate too much gems. Spike, you fat prick. Of course you said that future Spike could worry about this! You are future Spike. You dick.'

He groans as he slips under the duvet in his bed, getting all coddled up and cosy... oh, how he misses still being small and sleeping in the Golden Oak Library, next to Twilight's bed... that basket was the comfiest he's ever felt. Tirek deserved his fate. Destroying Spike's best bed. Dick.

He pops his earplugs into his light lime green ear fronds, his daily routine at this point. Everything he couldn't deal with? Music.

He fiddles around, looking for his phone to plug the earplugs into, finally finding it and immediately plugging it in, opening his music app and turning on his playlist. 'I Know It's Over' by 'The Smiths', an earth pony band from before his mom left, plays into his earplugs, a small smile growing on his face. He absolutely adores 'The Smiths'.

He hums along to the tune, one he's hummed along to for over two hundred years. Oh, how he loves this song. It really does help him through his issues with himself, and how abandoned he feels by his mom.

He lays on his side, his long, scaley tail moving out of the way so he can have more room to stretch his limbs all the time as his eyes go droopy, their moderate pistachio colour getting less visible as his eyes close into a dreamless sleep.

Just as he falls asleep, he asks himself;

'What if my mom misses me just as much as I miss her?'

Author's Note

HOLY CRAP I DID THAT IN LIKE 2 HOURS! THAT'S A RECORD FOR ME!

But, thank you, everycreature, for all the tips. I love you all so much, and for motivating me.

Also, if you can't tell... The Smiths is my favourite band.

Holy crap, cliff hanger. Beware this might be changed soon.