Nerd Biker Princess Date (Battle of the Rivals to Become Class Valedictorian!)

by Mockingbirb

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Slice of Life, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Cheerilee, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Alternate Universe, Romance, Equestria Girls, Comedy
Length: 5345

When Canterlot High's biker bully and nerd princess fight over who will become valedictorian, Miss Cheerilee assigns special homework. The bitter rivals must go on a date, and grade each other's performance!

When Canterlot High's biker bully and nerd princess fight over who will become valedictorian, Miss Cheerilee assigns special homework.

The bitter rivals must go on a date, and grade each other's performance!

This story is an entry in EFNW Iron Author
Non-Pony Writing Contest (contest deadline this weekend)
Equestria at War Writing Contest (contest deadline this weekend)
Sunset Shimmer x Villains Rivals to Romance (contest deadline this weekend) This one!

keywords: SciSet, SunTwi, SunSci, SunsciSet, biker, bikertwi, bikerscitwi
(Cover image used by permission from: https://purplesmart.ai/item/d0493d8f-b42d-4a4e-8920-250d8830040b)

Published 2024-09-01 19:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2024-09-01 19:30:06 UTC

I Can Date Better Than You!

Maybe the rivalry started because Twilight "SciTwi" Sparkle was used to getting the very best grades, even when she'd been a top student at Crystal Prep. When part of that school exploded in a mysterious lab accident, Twilight transferred to 'easier' Canterlot High School. But the nerd felt even more driven to always be number one!

Sunset Shimmer, of course, was used to being Canterlot High School's queen bee, top of the pecking order. You might think that wouldn't include academics. But Sunset had been thinking about her future, what she would do after high school graduation.

Stranded in a world alien to her, Sunset was basically a penniless orphan. If she wanted to go to college, she had to take her grades SERIOUSLY. Unless she did all she could to qualify for a good scholarship, Sunset might spend the rest of her life delivering sushi and cleaning gas station bathrooms.

Twilight, of course, wanted to gain admittance to the very best colleges herself, so she could go on to become the World's Most Brilliant Nerd or whatever girls like her were into.

Each for her own reasons, Sunset and Twilight had gotten into an all out competition to earn the highest grades of anyone at CHS. Each girl wanted to graduate as valedictorian. Did I say wanted? I should have said yearned, thirsted, hungered.

When either of them thought about the other at all, it was only with a cold determination to outdo and defeat her rival.

That is, until one special (and possibly disastrous?) class at CHS changed everything.

***

Miss Cheerilee wrote one sentence on the blackboard: "Sex education is NOT just about sex."

"Awww!" some boy lamented from the classroom's back row. "And I was looking forward to getting all A's, too."

Cheerilee gave him a stern look.

She said, "If you want to have a healthy, happy, joyous sex life, do you want to know what's truly important to get there?"

Three more boys cheered.

With a gesture, the teacher silenced them too. "Healthy relationships are so much more important than the mere physical mechanics of sex. If you have a good relationship and good skills at making that relationship work, everything else becomes easier."

Sitting in the front row, Twilight took exhaustive notes, as if she wanted to memorize every word, even the jokes.

Sunset wanted to take a nap, but she paid attention to the lecture anyway. You never knew what might be on the test, and Sunset felt determined to get the very highest score.

Wanting to make sure she looked attentive and diligent, Sunset scribbled in her own notebook. She wrote: "Blah blah Cheerilee probably never got laid in her life, old dried up prune, blah blah blah blah, is this enough words to look like I care what she thinks..."

Cheerilee said, "So your homework assignment is to go on a date."

More students cheered. Five boys turned towards Sunset Shimmer, competing to ask her out. One whispered, "You've got to say yes to at least ONE of us, right?"

Cheerilee rapped the boy's knuckles with a yardstick. "Although I appreciate your enthusiasm, please wait to find out exactly what your assignment IS, before you hurry to do it the wrong way." She smiled chillingly.

Cheerilee said, "I am aware, of course, that some of you in this class seem more eager to do this kind of assignment than others. Indeed, some of you seem eager to earn 'extra credit.'"

Several boys' mouths started to open, but with a glance Cheerilee intimidated them.

"However," Cheerilee remarked, "That is NOT how we do things here. I will make certain that everyone has a fair chance to do well in this course. And that is why I have already made up a list, matching each of you with a project partner. If each student will take a copy?" Cheerilee walked along one side of the classroom to distribute small stacks of the latest handout, stacks which students dutifully passed from desk to desk.

When Sunset saw her own copy, she scanned for her name.

There it was! Right next to Twilight Sparkle.

That couldn't be right.

Sunset raised her hand. "Miss Cheerilee? I'm afraid there's been a mistake."

At the same moment, Twilight gasped. "Cheerilee? You can't DO this to me. This is unfair! Don't you know she hates me? She's going to try to seduce me, just so she can murder me in my sleep!"

Cheerilee grinned. "Each project partner will be grading the other's work. If you can't learn to get along and cooperate constructively, you can fail together."

"That's not so bad," Lavender Lace whispered to Trixie. "Everyone can just give each other easy A's and not even have to go on a date at all."

"Not so fast," Cheerilee said. "Each partner will also be turning in a written date report of at least two hundred words, as an additional component of their evaluation. You'll find it's easier to write the report if you've really gone on a date together first. And if you decide NOT to go on the date, and instead you just collaborate on deciding what lies to tell about the date that never happened?" Cheerilee laughed. "Then talking to each other to decide what your FAKE date was like, is going to be your REAL date. You'll have had the worst, stupidest date ever. Trust me, it's both easier and more satisfying to do the assignment for real, so you'll have something to write about."

Twilight wailed, "But I need a new project partner! I don't want to get murdered!"

Sunset said calmly, "It's not fair to make me go on a date with her, either."

Cheerilee took a deep breath. She said, "Would the two of you please join me in a corner of the room, so I may speak to you both?"

When Cheerilee had coaxed both girls to stand almost near each other, the teacher said, "Both of you are very bright girls. Very ambitious, very hard working. But that's not all it takes to succeed in life."

Sunset and Twilight traded edged glances.

Cheerilee said, "You need to learn how to get along not only with people who are like yourselves, but also with people who are different. That's the opportunity this assignment offers both of you."

Sunset suggested, "What if we just both agree we won't do this one little project? We can do all our other assignments, and any extra credit assignments we need to make sure we get an overall grade of A plus, and--"

"If you two refuse to make a serious effort on this assignment? Even if each of you completes all other work in this class PERFECTLY, I will not give either of you an overall course grade better than D. That will be a D on your permanent record, on your transcripts, a D that every college and university will see when you apply there."

Sunset felt her face warp into an expression of horror and disgust. She glanced at Twilight, and it was like looking in a mirror.

"If you'll excuse me, I have other students to help too. Good luck with your assignment!"

Sunset and Twilight finally agreed on something. In that moment, they both hated Cheerilee.

***

When class ended, Sunset grabbed Twilight by the arm. Sunset dragged her out of the building, to sit outside on a long block of concrete.

Sunset said softly, "A nerd like you...you must know at least one poison that's hard to trace. A poison that could mysteriously appear in Miss Cheerilee's coffee."

Twilight grimaced. "I was going to say, you seem like someone who would know someone who could kill a person. You know a lot of bikers, right?"

"No comment."

"Same here. I'm not going to murder Cheerilee, not myself. And if I had any ideas about that? I wouldn't tell YOU. Because no way could I make valedictorian if I was in prison."

"You calling me a snitch?"

"I'm calling you someone I have no reason to trust. Someone who seems to hate me."

"Well, Miss Perfect Nerd Princess, you don't seem to like me much either." Sunset sighed. "This is ridiculous. I think Cheerilee hates both of us, and wants to make us suffer by giving us an impossible assignment as an excuse to flunk us."

"I can understand why she'd hate someone like you. I mean, you run your own motorcycle gang and sell drugs in the park."

"How can someone so smart as you think you are, believe the stupidest rumors?"

"So you're saying it's not true?"

"I'm saying you shouldn't be an idiot. Like how about not insulting and antagonizing the person you should be trying to get along with right now?"

"To get along with RIGHT NOW? Are you saying you want to stab me in the back LATER?"

"Stop making so many assumptions about me! Why do you have to be like everyone else, so full of shit? Why can't anyone see..."

"Why can't anyone see WHAT? What can't people see about you? Is there anything about you that you DON'T make perfectly obvious?"

Sunset clenched her fists, and visibly strained to hold her tongue. "Fuck it," she said. "We have our stupid assignment. I guess we should just do it, go on some stupid date together. And then we can give each other A pluses."

"I'm not going to lie for you, Sunset. I know you probably lie all the time, but I'm not going to say you did an A plus job on our date if you didn't."

Sunset leaned back slightly, folding her arms over her chest. She grinned. "Oh, don't you worry about that, Miss Nerd Princess. I'll show you the best time you've ever had. Even if it's the ONLY date you've ever had."

Twilight blushed. "Now YOU'RE the one who's making assumptions. And you know what? TWO can play that game. I'll show YOU the best date YOU ever had." Twilight glanced off to the side. "But I don't want to miss the bus home, gotta go bye!" She ran towards the long strip of pavement where the school buses sat, engines rumbling.

***

Mostly by texting each other, Sunset and Twilight had agreed on some basics. On Friday night, at five p.m., Sunset would arrive at Twilight's house so the two could go out on their 'date.'

Sunset felt a little smug about that. The way she saw it, she'd already won the first victory by being the person who picks the other up. That would put Sunset in charge of transportation. The person in the driver's seat is in a perfect position to decide what happens next, and take credit for the date's successes.

A smile leaked out onto Sunset's lips, as she rang the doorbell at Twilight's home.

Thirty seconds later, she rang the doorbell again. The little nerd wasn't standing Sunset up, was she?

The door opened. "Come inside," Twilight said.

"What..are you WEARING?" Sunset replied.

"Do you like it? I thought it would be perfect, for a date with someone like you."

Sunset clamped a hand over her own mouth, to keep from laughing.

Twilight proudly raised her arms partway. "These are my wrist guards, elbow pads, and knee pads I wear for rollerblading. To help protect me if I hit pavement."

"I can see that. But what about the rest of it?"

"The leather shorts, leather halter top, and matching boots? Those are for motorcycling. That's what you're into, right?"

Sunset chortled. She laughed so hard she almost fell over. After almost a minute, she finally regained some self control. "If I ever said I wouldn't have any fun on this date, I take it back. This is the funniest thing I've seen all week!"

"What's so funny? So I'm taking your interests into account. What's wrong with that?"

"Well, um. Are you thinking you're going to ride bitch on my bike, dressed like that?"

"Does 'bitch' mean behind you? Sure, why not? Unless you want me to ride in front."

"You...would need a motorcycle helmet."

Twilight reached into a box. "Here it is! Cadance loaned it to me with the other biker clothes."

"Who's Cadance?"

"She's...an old friend. I've known her since I was a little girl."

"She sounds fun. Glad she at least thought to loan you a helmet."

"Cadance wouldn't want me to ever get hurt. We care about each other."

"Maybe you should be going on a date with her."

Twilight huffed. "I don't think so. I mean, she's very nice, but...no. That's not an appropriate suggestion."

"Ok, fine, whatever."

"So!" Twilight said cheerfully. "I got us tickets for the Skullcrusher show. Because head pounding heavy metal music is the kind of thing you like, right?"

"Um."

"What's wrong? Are you afraid a live Skullcrusher show is too wild for a little nerd like me? Because if that's what you think, you're mistaken!"

"Um."

"I LOVE Skullcrusher. A friend got me into their music, even helped me get these tickets. She has connections."

Sunset sighed. "Twilight. I guess you're trying to impress me, but--"

"I'm just trying to make sure this is the best date EVER, so I can EARN my A plus plus. So you won't DARE give me a bad grade."

Sunset sighed again. "I...have a schedule conflict."

"On the night we AGREED would be our date? You...Eff word! DOUBLE eff word you!"

"Please, try to understand." Sunset reached into her pocket, to proffer two pieces of cardboard.

Twilight read them. "These are tickets for a special behind the scenes tour at Canterlot Planetarium. Followed by a sky dome show with classical music."

"I thought you'd like it. I had no idea you wanted to force yourself to see Skullcrusher instead."

"This is...nice. This was a very nice idea. But...making the schedule work..." Twilight thought for a moment. "Skullcrusher is the opening band at their concert tonight, so they start really early. We have about forty-five minutes to eat, before we have to ride your motorcycle to the stadium."

"I didn't BRING my bike. Do you see what I'm wearing?"

"I didn't want to comment. I mean, I know people call me a nerd, but even I think wearing a tuxedo to a Skullcrusher show is kind of weird."

"I didn't know we were GOING to a Skullcrusher show. I just thought...well, I thought for a date with a girl like you, I should dress up nice. Like if I was taking you to the prom. But my prom dress...had an accident. The Fall Formal destroyed it."

"Oh, yes. That was before I transferred to CHS. I've never gotten a straight answer about what happened that night."

"And if we've got only forty-five minutes to eat? We don't have time for me to really explain it, not before Skullcrusher."

"Wait," Twilight said. "If you didn't bring your bike, how DID you get here?"

Wordlessly, Sunset led Twilight outside.

"Oh, Sunset. Is that sports car yours?"

Sunset led Twilight farther.

"Oh. The old station wagon. It's...nice."

Sunset laughed. "It's a piece of shit. But I borrowed it for this date, because...I didn't want to make you have to ride on the back of my motorcycle."

"I'd better lock the house before we leave." Twilight ran up the front walk, locked the door, and ran back. In her haste, she still had the motorcycle helmet cradled in one arm. "I'm ready!"

Sunset held the passenger door open. Twilight got in, and let Sunset close the door for her.

Sunset went around to the driver's side, got in behind the wheel, and turned the key.

She turned the key again.

In the silence as the motor didn't start, she blushed. "I don't know what to say."

"It's ok, Sunset. Where did you leave your bike?"

"Same place I borrowed the car, near Thirty-Sixth and Vine."

Twilight pulled out her phone. Her fingers moved with furious speed. "Get out of the car! Out of the car right now!" Twilight shoved Sunset's shoulder.

"Um...ok?"

When the car was closed and locked, Twilight grabbed Sunset's wrist to pull her along the sidewalk. "We have less than three minutes, or it won't work!"

Trying to keep up, Sunset trotted, then ran. "Or what won't work? Where are we going?"

"This next street, then down it a little ways..."

"But why?"

"I know the Canterlot Metro bus system better than anyone!"

"You want to take the bus for our date?"

"I've figured out the transfers we need to take, and when. We'll reach the stadium just in time for the show to start!"

A city bus pulled up. Twilight led Sunset onto the bus, and waved a passcard twice. "Come on! This is going to be SO much fun!"

On the bus, most passengers ignored the oddly dressed couple.

Except for one, a man who started making fun of Twilight.

After about thirty seconds of this, Sunset rolled her eyes. "I've got two questions for you, buddy."

He scoffed, "Was I talking to you?"

"Question one. Do you think she's dressed a little weird for a biker?"

"Haw haw. I'll say. Look at that nerd. What kind of biker wears elbow pads?"

"Question two. What if she's dressed like that so if she decides to beat the shit out of you, she won't scrape her elbows on your teeth? I mean, while she's shoving your face down your throat?" Sunset asked. She made a fist.

Sunset added, "Question three. If she spends her time in biker bars dressed like that, how good do you think she must be at fighting, to not even get her glasses broken?"

The man looked at Sunset, and at Twilight again. He stood up, and moved to the farthest part of the bus.

"What did you DO?" Twilight whispered furiously.

"I just asked a couple of questions."

"Well...I suppose that was sweet of you, in a sick, twisted kind of way. But please don't threaten to have me beat people up."

"Sorry."

"That was really out of line!"

"You're right. I shouldn't have done it."

"If you want to threaten to beat someone up, threaten to do it yourself!"

"I was out of line. You're right. You're so very right. Please don't give me an F. At least not yet. Pretty please."

Twilight glared at Sunset a moment longer, then broke into giggles. "I admit, it WAS funny."

Sunset smirked. "So I might not get an F?"

"Just don't do it again."

"Yes, ma'am."

They both giggled some more.

***

"Carp! Carp carp carp carp carp!" Twilight said, looking at the long line people waiting outside the concert venue.

Sunset blinked, "'Carp?'"

"I don't want to get into a habit of using bad language."

"So you got into the habit of swearing at fish instead?"

"It's complicated, ok?" Twilight sighed. "I don't think we're getting in before Skullcrusher's set is at least half over."

Sunset raised an arm to wave. "Hey, Dweexip!"

"What kind of name is 'Dweexip?'"

"Come with me." Sunset pulled Twilight by the arm, to a door where a beefy man stood wearing a 'Security' T shirt. "Dweex!"

"Sunny!" The man looked Sunset up and down, and chuckled. "Nice tux. Who are you supposed to be, James Bond?"

"We're on a date, Dweex."

"You and the Bond girl?"

Sunset nodded. "Yeah. We have tickets to see Skullcrusher, but the line looks like it's gonna take forever before we can get in."

Dweex sighed. "Show me the tickets."

After Twilight handed them over, he inspected them. "They look good." He returned them, and stepped aside, unlocking the door. "Go on in, and have a good time. If you see any James Bond movie supervillains, kick their asses for me." He grinned.

Sunset mumbled, "If only you knew."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Get in there Sunny, don't miss the show."

"Thanks, Dweex. I owe you."

"Shoo!" He waved them inside.

As the two girls walked along a dimly lit hallway, Twilight said, "He seemed nice."

"Yeah, he is. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I think you're too nice to ever make him truly angry. You don't need to worry about it."

"Um, ok, I guess."

"I think this is the door," Sunset said, and pushed it open. Surprisingly, the girls came out into a customer accessible space beside the stage, instead of getting into a wacky misadventure.

Twilight asked, "Do you want to stand next to the stage, so you can slam dance or whatever it is people like you do?"

Sunset shook her head. "Let's just find our seats."

"I don't want to keep you from having fun, Sunset. Or should I call you 'Sunny,' like Dweex does?"

"Come on. I've had an exhausting week, and I'd really like to sit down. Please."

"Well, ok. If you want to."

***

"That was awesome!" Twilight shouted. "My first time seeing Skullcrusher live in concert! I'm so glad I brought earplugs for both of us, to help avoid serious hearing damage!"

"Yeah," Sunset said. "Sure."

"And these hot dogs cost only twelve bucks each! They said that's a really good price for stadium food!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Twilight put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "Sunset, you don't look like you're having a good time."

"I'm just...tired, that's all."

Twilight made puppy dog eyes at Sunset. "So...what do you want to do? Is there anything that would make you feel better?" She giggled. "I mean, except for BAD things. Things that a person shouldn't do on a first date."

"Twilight, we've seen Skullcrusher's set. How do you feel about the other bands, the ones that come on later?"

Twilight shrugged. "I guess they're cool, I don't know. I really just came here for Skullcrusher. I mean, for you. I decided to tolerate Skullcrusher so you could have a good date."

Sunset sighed. "We still have our planetarium tickets. And my bike is only three blocks from here. If we hurry, I think we can still catch the behind the scenes tour."

Twilight patted Sunset's shoulder. "Are you upset, because you got us those special tickets and now you're afraid they'll be wasted?"

"Maybe."

"Well then come on!" Twilight stood up. "Let's go!"

Sunset and Twilight ran for the stadium exit.

***

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHH!" Twilight shouted, her motorcycle helmet finally on her head instead of cradled in one arm. "THIS IS SO COOOOL! I WANT MY OWN MOTORBIKE!"

"I'm glad you're enjoying this," Sunset said, although maybe not quite loud enough to be heard over the wind noise, motor noise, and her companion's enthusiastic screams of joy. "I like my bike too."

"I CAN LOOK UP AND SEE THE STARS!" Twilight yelled. "IT'S LIKE A CAR THAT'S A PLANETARIUM TOO!"

"Sure."

The bike pulled into a parking lot beside Canterlot Planetarium. Sunset let the motor idle, as she pulled into a space. "We're here. Time to get off."

A man wearing a police uniform walked up, and shone a flashlight into the girls' faces. "Twilight? Is that you?"

Twilight said, "Shiny?"

The man grabbed Sunset by the shoulder, almost overturning the bike. "Who are you, and what have you done to my sister? Did you get her drunk? Did you drug her? What did you do with her clothes?"

"Shiny!" Twilight whined. "These are Cady's."

"Cady is a responsible adult, who would NEVER think of dressing my little sister up like some biker slut."

"Excuse ME?" Sunset growled. "Who is calling WHO a slut here? I'll have you know Twilight and I haven't even kissed yet."

"Is that so. So you put her body on public display instead? You should be ashamed of yourself." Shining reached for a belt holster. "Don't either of you move. I'm calling for backup."

***

"It could be worse," Twilight said. "At least they put us in the same cell."

"Hooray for overcrowding," Sunset said half sarcastically. "What a date, huh?" She sighed. "I have SUCH a headache."

Twilight said, "I used to have the worst tension headaches, back when I was a little girl. But there's something Cady used to do." She reached up, and started rubbing Sunset's hair.

"Oh. That's nice."

"It's the best thing for headaches. Cady has a real talent for it, and she tried to teach me. I hope I'm doing it right."

Towards the other end of the cell, a young woman sitting beside a cello shouted, "Oi, pigs! I've got a proper busking license, you fecking swine! Let me out right now, you Berkeley hunts! I'll sue your bottle and glasses off! I'll have yer cobblers awls for change purses, see if I don't! And the public drunkenness charges are utter shite too!"

"Who is that?" Twilight wondered. "She looks familiar."

"I think she goes to our school. Octavia, with the school orchestra?"

"Oi! Twilight and Sunset!" Octavia cackled. "WHAT are you two wearing?"

Sunset said, "Octavia. I love your work. I've never heard a better vibrato."

"What would a two bit thug like you know about real music, you little turd?"

"Your Mendelsohn in the school concert last year? Sublime."

Octavia squinted blearily at Sunset. "You aren't just taking the piss?"

"No, I really mean it."

"That's funny, you don't look the type."

Sunset sighed. "A long time ago, before I cast up in this city? My life was very different. Back when I was a po--a different person, I used to listen to classical music whenever I could. It was a special treat, attending concerts with..." Sunset sighed. "With someone who isn't part of my life anymore. Before everything changed. Before I had to worry about living on the streets, scrabbling for survival."

Octavia nodded sympathetically. "It's a harsh world."

"Octavia, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything, love."

"Please don't shout any more. I have SUCH a headache. I worked so much overtime this week, and then Twilight took me to a Skullcrusher concert..."

Octavia clucked her tongue. "Such a shame, that. A real tragedy it was, when Skullcrusher gave up proper classical and went over to that heavy metal ball an' trap they play now. You know?"

"Believe me, I do."

Twilight said softly, "Sunset, you don't like Skullcrusher? Not even a little bit?"

"I didn't want to disappoint you. You were so looking forward to it."

"You could tell?"

"It was pretty obvious."

***

Cheerilee's disapproving glare picked out two of her students. "Sunset Shimmer. Twilight Sparkle. Stay after class."

The bell rang, dismissing the other students. Only two remained.

Cheerilee frowned. "You two. I have never seen such a cock and bull story in my life."

"Excuse me?" Twilight said. "I don't know what you mean."

"Expecting me to believe that on your first date, Twilight disguised herself as a biker, hijacked a city bus--"

"We didn't hijack it!"

"Oh, sorry. You terrorized the bus with threats of violence, but you didn't hijack it."

Sunset complained, "That was just ONE guy. He was being a jerk."

"He was harassing me!" Twilight said. "Sunset just wanted him to stop."

"Then you illegally sneaked into a Skullcrusher concert--"

"We had tickets!"

"Where they charged you only twelve dollars each for hot dogs, even though you were at an official stadium concessions stand--"

"They gave me a biker discount," Twilight said.

"Everyone knows stadium food costs more than that," Cheerilee scoffed. "Your lie is not only implausible, but ignorant as well."

"Um."

"You two decided NOT to stay for the main act, even though everyone knows Jethro Plowhorse is FAR superior to Skullcrusher. INSTEAD, you two rode a motorcycle together so you could look up at the stars AND go to a special 'behind the scenes tour' at a planetarium, of all places."

"Twilight's allowed to look up at the stars if she wants to. What do you have against the stars, anyway?"

"And in the grand finale...Twilight's brother arrested both of you before you even got inside the planetarium."

"He only meant to arrest Sunset," Twilight said. "For me, it was just supposed to be a few hours of protective custody. There was a misunderstanding at the station. And later, Shiny did apologize to both of us."

Sunset laughed. "After he tested us both for drugs, he even took us out for ice cream."

Twilight's nose creased with worry. "But I don't know if Cadance is EVER going to forgive him for calling her biker leathers 'slutty.'"

Sunset smirked. "I suppose Shiny learned some things about more than one woman in his life, last Friday night."

"It was Cadance's secret hobby. So I guess it's better they had this discussion now, than if they'd waited until after the wedding."

"Yeah," Sunset agreed. "Communication is important to building a good relationship."

"Aha!" Cheerilee said. "So you WERE paying attention in class."

"I thought it would be on the test."

"But don't you two feel guilty, or ashamed, about having concocted this ridiculous pile of, of...these reports you wrote for me?"

"I think it was a pretty good first date!" Twilight insisted.

Sunset smiled, her gaze going distant for a moment. "Yeah. What she said."

"You two thought you'd tricked me, and gotten out of doing your assignment!" Cheerilee gloated, "but you were WRONG."

"Huh?" Sunset said.

"Comparing your two written reports, it's clear each of you wrote her own, but only AFTER the two of you made up and agreed upon a detailed series of events, a ridiculous story that you both thought you could trick me into believing was real. I suppose you thought your hoax would be funny."

Twilight blinked. "Um."

"I can see the two of you put in far more than the minimum amount of work on this. You put in more time and effort than a real date might have required. I can imagine the two of you sitting together someplace like Sugarcube Corner, taking turns thinking of funny ideas about what happened during your 'date,' smiling and laughing..."

"Some of it didn't seem quite so funny at the time," Sunset remarked. "I mean, while it was happening."

Twilight scratched her head. "I do hope Octavia got out of jail. If she's still locked up, that wouldn't be funny at all. Have either of you seen her today?"

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Yes, Miss Cheerilee."

"My point is, you two thought you could dodge your assignment, but you ended up doing all the work and more. You even learned how to cooperate with each other and enjoy it. So what do you have to say for yourselves?"

Sunset ventured, "I guess you sure fooled us. Making us do our homework without our even knowing it."

"Does this mean we get A pluses?" Twilight wondered.

"Ha! For trying to cheat? You both get B minuses on this assignment, and lucky you are not to get something worse. That's my final word, no appeal. Now get out of my faces."

"Yes, Miss Cheerilee." The two girls fled.

A minute later the classroom door reopened, and Octavia Melody walked into the room. "Miss Cheerilee?"

"What is it, Octavia?"

"I'm sorry that I have to ask for an extension on my homework assignment, but it isn't my fault."

Cheerilee sighed. "I suppose you're going to tell me you really were picked up by the police for not having a busker's license."

"It's not my fault the bureaucrats down at city hall can't keep track of their own--" Octavia gasped. "You KNEW? You already KNEW I was arrested?"

"One week's extension, and don't forget how lucky you are to have it."

"Yes, Miss Cheerilee. I'll do my best not to let you down."

After Octavia left, Cheerilee rubbed her own forehead. "It's a real shame. Back when I was a high school student, we were FAR better liars."

Addendum

~~Octavia Melody and her family are from Coltlumbia. None of them have ever been within a thousand miles of Bittain, and her 'Bittish accent' is completely FAKE. She mostly learned it from old movies.~~
:trollestia:

Or...maybe that's NOT true?