The Formula of Love

by KorokuRain13

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Drama, Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 13685

Twilight Sparkle thinks she's in love with Rainbow Dash, but she needs to test it in the field first.

Twilight has been doing research, and she's almost positive now: she's in love with Rainbow. But what is love, really? And can it really be defined by words? She's going to have to do some experiments...
Cover art by me. Also in the cover image she's not an alicorn but in the fic she is.
Slightly comedic/inappropriate at times, but not enough so to warrant comedy, sex, or cursing tags.

Published 2024-09-03 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-26 15:06:15 UTC

Hypothesis

Well-fed after eating a large gem sandwich minutes ago, Spike was lying on the couch.

The blankets were warm, and he nestled into them.

It was afternoon, and as it was quite common to be tired after consuming food, and as there was nothing wrong with napping, he was not trying to nap, but he also was not trying not to.

His thoughts drifted idly as his eyes slowly began to droop closed.

His breathing slowed a bit, and he was juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust about to doze off when-

“AAAAAAAAH!” Spike fell off the couch, instantly wide awake.

Tangled in the blankets, he struggled for a second before extracting himself and running upstairs.

Because that scream? It was Twilight’s voice.

When he got to her bedroom door, the sound of her screams still audible, though they continued to be muffled by the heavy wood door and the walls, he didn’t hesitate, flinging it open- because what if she was in trouble?

Of course, if she couldn’t save herself, if she- the analytical one, who struggled with emotions but always saved the day- was helpless and afraid, then there was certainly nothing he could do to help, but he wasn’t thinking it through, not really.

What he saw inside, however, was not what he had expected: someone kidnapping her, maybe Sombra, Tirek, or Chrysalis, or Discord playing a prank on her, despite the fact that it wasn’t April.

Instead, Twilight Sparkle sat in the middle of her bedroom, surrounded by heaps of papers covered in scribbled words, nothing like her normal neat hoofwriting.

On the wall behind her, there was a bulletin board containing photos and more scribbles, with tacks connected to each other by red string.

Her eyes were wide, looking around her room, as she continued to yell.

Frantically, her eyes moved from looking down at her hooves to up at the bulletin board to the papers on the floor- pausing at each individual one- back to her hooves.

Blinking in confusion, Spike cleared his throat, Twilight’s eyes flitted up to him standing in the doorway.

Immediately, she stopped screaming.

After clearing her throat, she spoke.

“Oh, hi there Spike!” she said, smiling widely, although it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Um… are you okay?” he asked with alarm.

“Oh, fine. See you later! Bye! Au revoir, as they say in Prench!”

Waving her hoof, she shooed him out the door.

Rubbing his head in confusion, Spike headed back to take that nap.

Meanwhile, as soon as the door closed behind Spike, Twilight slumped down, putting her head in her hooves.

She had a bit of a dilemma. Or, well, perhaps it was a large dilemma, she thought.

You see, the research- it just matched up with everything she had been feeling, and it was obvious.

She couldn’t deny it, couldn’t stop it either.

She had made lists and read every medical and/or romance book in the castle library twice, had studied memories and photos.

It was clear as day that she was in love with Rainbow Dash.

And she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

All the symptoms were there- fast heartbeats, blushing, dizziness, having a hard time breathing…

At first, when she had first noticed the symptoms, she had thought they might be caused by a panic attack, but then she had realized they only happened near Rainbow.

Rainbow, with her raspberry eyes, and wild tail and mane, and bold personality, and…

Twilight vigorously shook her head.

Stop it, Twi!

You can’t like Rainbow Dash!

You just can’t!

Because…

Hmmmm.

Why not?

Scientifically speaking, she not only could but did.

She just…

Didn’t want to.

But what was wrong with not wanting to be in love? thought Twilight frantically, trying to reason with herself.

She was busy, with many duties as princess of friendship, not to mention the facts that her basement needed dusting, her books needed reorganizing, her bed needed to be made, she needed to spend time with friends…

Come on, Twilight!

This is getting ridiculous!

Stop making excuses!

The truth was, Twilight Sparkle was scared to be in love.

Not just specifically with Rainbow, although that was scary too in its own ways, but to love anyone at all in a more-than-friends sort of way.

Scared to have a crush, scared to admit it, scared of what would happen if she did or didn’t.

But she knew she did.

Have a crush, that is.

Now, what to do about it…?

She could ignore it, of course.

Pretend to herself and everyone else that her heart didn’t beat faster than Rainbow’s wings at the presence of a certain light cerulean pony.

Pretend not to notice, or not to care…

No, it wouldn’t work.

She wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Twilight was almost certain, after all, that she had read about ‘death from a broken heart’ before, or at least heard about it, and that was what would happen to her if she chose that option.

So she crossed it off the list.

Next up…

Trying to make it go away.

She could cast a spell on herself, maybe?

Some sort of reverse love spell.

No, no, love spells never worked well, and a reverse one was sure to be even worse.

Maybe Zecora could make some kind of potion…?

That sounded like it might work.

But then Twilight pictured herself without loving Rainbow Dash.

She had loved her for a long time, or at least that was the most plausible thing according to the romance novels she had been reading for research.

Maybe as soon as they met, although the memory was fuzzy, but she could remember a strange fluttering feeling, unique to only when she was with Dash, that she had dismissed as nothing but hunger.

So yes, now that she thought about it, she had loved Rainbow Dash since they had met.

And without that love…

It consumed so much of her, though she had just consciously realized it.

It was etched into her bones, it flowed through her blood.

Without it she would be hollow, empty, unfeeling.

She would become an emotionless robot.

So that too was scratched off the list.

What else was left?

Come on, Twilight! Think!

Almost unknowingly, she flapped her wings, which she was still adjusting to, and soon found herself hovering several feet above the floor.

Her papers blew around from the wind created by her wing flapping, but thankfully her list and quill were being held in place in the air by the tendrils of her magic.

She furrowed her brow for a moment, trying to remember what else she could do.

Wake up, brain!

Hmmmmmmmmmm…

Aha!

She suddenly remembered- realized? it was hard to tell- the last option and scribbled it down.

Once done, she looked at the paper.

Twilight blinked.

She tilted her head one way and then the other.

She started to look away and then did a double take.

Really?

That was the only option?

Yes. Yes, it was.

She would have to confess.

Though it scared her, there was nothing else to be done.

What if she says no?

She might hate me forever! The friend group will never be the same! Everything will be ruined!

Or she might friendzone me, and I’ll be embarrassed forever!

What if I get over her?

What if I don’t?

Oh Celestia, what if she says yes?!

Twilight was breathing fast now, about to have a panic attack, when she got an idea.

She didn’t have to admit right away and risk a multitude of terrifying things, things worse than all the villains she had faced combined.

No, she simply had to approach this scientifically.

She would need a hypothesis.

Hmmmmm…

‘Twilight Sparkle is in love with Rainbow Dash.’

Okay, that would be her hypothesis.

Now, she would need to conduct experiments to figure out whether that was really true.

Certainly, she had researched the broad subject of love extensively.

But testing the hypothesis in the environment of real life would yield tangible evidence about the specific ponies involved in the hypothesis.

Besides, she really wanted to see Rainbow again in person.

She had been alone in the castle, researching love, for weeks on end, and had not seen any of her friends, other than Spike of course, but she especially wanted to see her crush- for purely scientific reasons, of course!

Stop blushing, Twilight!

Sigh.

Author's Note

Chapter one! Next up: Twilight's first experiment! When I have time, of course. Probably next Sunday.

Interlude: Love's Formula

It was four AM, the night after Twilight’s failed second experiment and before her third, which hopefully wouldn’t go the same way as the last one.

Twilight Sparkle was still awake.

She had tried to sleep, but the crushing weight of failure- twice, might she add- prevented her from doing so, so instead, she was thinking.

Specifically, thinking about said failures.

She had hoped that observing Rainbow Dash from afar would have given her conclusive data, perhaps on what Twilight thought of her and how she felt, but the data was contaminated by external circumstances.

And she had hoped that observing her via actually speaking to her would have told her how Rainbow felt so she could act accordingly, but it didn’t give useful enough data.

Tomorrow, there would be another experiment.

But until then?

She had something different in mind.

Namely, finding the formula of love.

Her reasoning was thus: If the point of these experiments is to figure out whether I love… her… then why not also figure out just what love is, scientifically speaking?

Certainly, she could ask Cadence instead.

But that would be the Magic of Love.

Not the scientifical factors of it.

No, she needed something quantifiable.

So, she got to work.

*************************

After researching (read: looking through a large amount of romance books, again) the subject, these were the ingredients of love, non-platonic love, she had so far:

Physical attraction (somewhat optional, as the asexual spectrum was a very real thing),

Mutual attraction (in the case of requited love, that is),

Compatible personalities (self-explanatory),

All six Elements of Harmony (as love began as a friendship),

Time (love at first sight would never work; relationships needed time to blossom),

And… something else.

Something she couldn’t quite figure out.

The heart, so to speak, of love.

It was half of mutual attraction: simply loving someone, without knowing if they love you back.

She knew that feeling, but… what was it?

It wasn’t love, because it was simply part of love.

No, it was pure emotion.

Infatuation, she supposed, would be the correct name for it.

And yet…

Physical attraction was controlled by chemicals such as estrogen and dopamine.

Mutual attraction was an independent variable.

Compatible personalities? Couldn’t be controlled, but lots of ponies had compatible personalities with each other, and unrelatedly, personality was created by the frontal lobes.

Elements of Harmony? Just find a pony you’re friends with!

Time? A variable whether you want it to be or not (unless Twilight stopped time, but…)

So, long story short, the formula of love was estrogen plus dopamine plus a few more chemicals plus frontal lobes plus one friend plus an independent variable.

But what chemicals made up infatuation?

Scouring science books for the answer, Twilight came up empty-handed.

If she was defining unrequited love as not love, then you couldn’t love someone without knowing if they loved you.

But that didn’t make sense.

Your feelings couldn’t change once you knew someone else’s feelings.

Yet, they were different kinds of love…

Oxytocin was related to love, according to a book by Professor Neigh.

But it fell under physical attraction, so did that mean that asexual people could not experience love?

No, it couldn’t mean that, because Twilight knew that they could.

This is absurd! Is infatuation even real?

She looked up from her notes and around the room for more books, but there were none left pertaining to that topic.

Twilight sighed.

Maybe Cadence was right. Love couldn’t be formulated.

Another failure.

Tomorrow? Another chance.

She looked toward the window.

Based on how it looked outside, it had been a bit over an hour and a half since she had last looked out the window.

The sun was slowly rising, turning the sky beautiful, subtle shades of pink and orange and yellow and purple and more, too many colors to count.

There were no clouds in the sky.

Twilight Sparkle sat and watched the sunrise, waiting for tomorrow.

Author's Note

See, I told you there would be a new chapter quickly!
Sure, it's short, because it's an interlude, but it's something, isn't it?
A little palate cleanser before the next course.
Hope you liked it, and as always, there'll be more soon(ish), or my name's not Rain!

Experiment 1

The next day, Twilight Sparkle found herself hovering near Rainbow Dash’s house, above and to the right to be specific, and bored out of her mind.

It was noon, for Celestia’s sake!

When was Rainbow going to wake up?!

She had things to do, places to be- although this was frankly the most important of them, but still!

Twilight had been levitating- no, that’s not right, levitating implies not using wings, but magic… but I don’t want to use hovering twice in my internal monologue in one minute… ah yes, floating!- Twilight had been floating near Rainbow’s cloud house for hours.

After some thought yesterday, she had concluded that the best way to experiment would be to watch Rainbow, observing without interfering.

After all, interference would wreck the data.

But she hadn’t had wings for very long, so they weren’t all that strong yet, and keeping her in the air for hours was tiring them out.

She thought that perhaps she could peek into the house to see if Rainbow was awake, but no, that was an invasion of privacy.

After all, she didn’t know what was in all the rooms.

But what if I see her awake and, say, eating breakfast? Then I could just pop in and say hello!

…What if I see her sleeping? Watching someone sleep is creepy.

Oh Celestia, what if I see her bathing?! Nopenopenope, not looking through any windows.

…

Stop imagining her bathing, self!!!

Exhausted, and blushing from embarrassment at the thoughts no doubt inspired by some of the more, ah, graphic romances she had been reading for research, Twi was about to give up when- Yes! Victory! Rainbow Dash flew out of her home.

Finally!

Twilight’s eyes drank in the sight of the winged mare.

Light blue coat, magenta eyes, rainbow mane and tail…

Certainly, she had seen her crush many times before, but it had been weeks, as she had been holed up at home, researching love.

And oh! those eyes…

The swish of Rainbow’s tail…

Her powerful wings…

Rainbow, oblivious to Twilight, was flying away.

Snapping out of her reverie, Twilight followed her crush.

After a minute or two of flying, she made a realization: Rainbow was not flying anywhere in particular, for breakfast or otherwise.

No, she had already had breakfast, and was now doing her daily exercise, training for the Wonderbolts.

And, because Rainbow Dash was quite fast, and in addition was good at endurance, this practice would likely take some time.

Time Twilight Sparkle did not have, because she was about to fall out of the sky from exhaustion.

Literally.

She could practically hear her wing muscles screaming in agony.

Twi gritted her teeth.

“Hiya, Twilight!” exclaimed a certain pink pony.

Turning her head, Twilight saw Pinkie Pie in… some sort of flying machine? Made of candy? Huh.

Ah, whatever. It was Pinkie, after all.

Oddity was the norm for her.

“Pinkie?”

“Yes? Yeah? Yuh-huh? Yepparoni? -Oh, hey Dashie!- You were saying?”

“Could I borrow your contraption? My wings are extremely overused at present...Oh, and could you not tell Rainbow Dash that you saw me here today?”

“Okey dokey lokey!” said Pinkie, jumping out of the machine.

Is she okay? Where did she go?!

Who cares right now? I’m in pain!

Twilight had juuuuuuust enough strength left in her wings to fly into the contraption; once in it, she collapsed, exhausted, to its floor.

Sighing, she cursed internally as she remembered that she still had that hot air balloon.

I could have used that instead, and saved myself so much effort…

My wings will probably ache for days, neigh, weeks!

Ah well. Too late now; it was what it was.

Hmmmmm… Was she supposed to be doing something? she wondered, looking around.

The clouds- cumulus mostly, with one or two stratocumulus here and there, because she wasn’t flying very high up- were puffy today, and bright white, not a single thundercloud among them.

The sun was bright and hot; it almost made her wish it would rain. Almost.

The sky was cyan, and she smiled through the burning pain, remembering the cyan pegasus-

Yes! That was it!

She was supposed to be following Rainbow Dash!

But… where was she?

Frowning, Twilight looked around again, but the rainbow-and-blue pony was nowhere to be seen, having vanished while Twilight was thinking.

She thought back idly to the past minute, searching her memory for something she could use to track Rainbow in the present…

Collapse, ache, hmmmmm, a noise akin to an explosion, sun, remem-

Oh yes, of course! Rainbow Dash had performed a sonic rainboom while she was distracted!

Now she saw the rainbow lines, which were already fading, but if she hurried, she could catch up.

Rainbooms were tiring, so Dash would be going slower now, almost done with her daily exercise. It wouldn’t be too hard to catch her.

After several minutes and three ½ as many attempts to figure out how to operate the flying machine, Twilight finally got it.

She followed the rainbow trail all the way to Rainbow Dash herself, who was entering- and thankfully not crashing into- the library.

Should I go in, or will she notice me? What to do, what to do…

Twilight really didn’t want to be seen following Rainbow, but she reallllllllllllllllllllly wanted to go to the library, and so eventually the latter portion of her brain won out.

Stepping inside, she breathed in the musty scent of old books.

Looking around, she noticed several books she had never seen before, and wondered if they were new or the librarians were simply displaying previously conspicuous books more prominently.

Picking one up, she began to read it- silently, of course.

It all started when-

“Whatcha reading, egghead?”

“HOLY CR- oh, wait, there are children present. HOLY CARP!” screamed Twilight, jumping quite high in the air due to her wings.

“Jeez, chill! I’m not an evil villain who’s gonna try to conquer Equestria, or whatever!” groaned Rainbow Dash.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rainbow, why in the name of Luna did you do that?”

She tried to ignore the conflicting emotions she felt about the fact that the gap between them was infinitesimal.

Rainbow smiled cockily. “I saw you reading that and decided to pull a Pinkie. Duh!”

I’d like to wipe that smirk off her face.

…But how? Hehe.

Maybe by-

STOPITTWILIGHTUGH

Frowning in frustration, Twilight realized that Rainbow was still watching her; she had thought she might have left due to the silence.

But it was fine, because Dash couldn’t read minds.

…Right?

Right?!

Right.

“Well, I should probably get back to reading. Or would you like to join me? I can show you the latest edition of the dictionary…”

“No thanks...”

Slowly, Rainbow began to back away, eyes wide and ears back.

“Are you sure? There’s a multitude of intriguing words. For example, I recently read the P section before bed. There’s persnickety, pulchritudinous, palimpsest, p-”

WHOOSH!

Rainbow Dash was gone.

A librarian with a red-and-purple mane looked up from her desk to shush the vanished rainbow blur of a pony.

Mentally, Twilight congratulated herself.

The old dictionary approach! Works every time.

Now, back to reading.

“Hmmm…”

“Ooh, drama!”

“Yay!”

“Oh my Goddesses, that was a shocking plot twist!”

…Wait.

Wasn’t I-

Oh.

Oh, duck- you know what, I can curse in my thoughts, it’s fine.

OH, BUCK!

WHOOSH!

Twilight Sparkle was gone, leaving behind several disgruntled ponies, many lovely books that she would have to read and reread another day, and a bi flag-colored trail.

Approximately 47 seconds later, give or take some digits in the billionths place, she landed, frazzled and even more physically exhausted than she had previously thought it was possible to be, at Sweet Apple Acres.

“Huh… I know her trail led me here, but why? Why did she go here? It’s not even cider season…” Twilight pondered aloud.

She looked down and saw a set of familiar hoofprints.

Some were missing at intervals, as though the pony was lifting off the ground occasionally, perhaps by flying.

So of course, she followed them- for research, obviously. What other motive could she have?

Obviously.

Making sure to stay hidden by the trees but still near enough to the path that she wouldn’t get lost, she walked in the direction that the hoofprints led.

There was a faint noise emanating from up ahead; it sounded like a pony speaking.

Twilight was still too far away to hear the words clearly, but the voice had a country twang to it, and it sounded like said pony was talking to itself.

“-and then after ah check if the different kinds a’ apples’re ripe yet, ah’ve gotta harvest the corn, feed the pigs, make the zap apple jam, water the grass, collect the chicken eggs…”

Craning her neck forward to try and see the pony- she was almost positive she knew who it was, but just wanted to confirm- Twilight saw a bright, multicoloredd indistinct shape at the top of her vision. It appeared to be quite close by.

…Rainbow squirrel?

Wait, that’s not a thing.

So that must mean that the prismatic object is…

With a start, Twilight jumped back.

She hit a tree, but thankfully, due to her training in parkour, she was able to use that momentum to propel herself forward and up, landing high in the branches of another tree.

Looking down and forward, she saw Rainbow Dash sitting in another tree, watching Applejack.

Twilight figured Rainbow’s thought process right now was something like this:

‘Ha ha, she doesn’t even see me spying on her! I’m so good at this. In a few, I can jump out and surprise her, and then maybe if I ask, Applejack’ll give me some cider.’

Applejack continued to talk to herself as she worked, something about grapes, hay, sheep, and giving Winona lunch.

Rainbow Dash twitched her tail as she watched Applejack.

Twilight reflected on how quintessentially meta it was to be secretly watching a pony who was secretly watching a pony.

Finished listing her chores for the day, Applejack began to remark on the lovely summer weather.

Twilight noticed that Rainbow had gone still and was tensing her muscles- her gorgeous muscles, impressively big and shiny from sweat and- SHUTUPTWILIGHTSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

Anyway…

She’s about to pounce.

This should be good.

Rainbow jumped…

And crashed.

Almost.

Instead, she did a barrel roll about five inches from the ground, followed by several loop-de-loops.

And then she crashed.

“Are you oka-” Twilight put a hoof over her mouth. She had spoken on instinct, because she needed Rainbow to be fine, to not be injured, because she was perfect and amazing and she couldn’t be hurt, she just couldn’t, which she knew defied all logic because technically Rainbow could get hurt, scientifically speaking, but anyway, she didn’t want to get caught spying on Rainbow, so she needed to be quiet.

“Rainbow, stop spyin’ on me n’ mah apples! Ya know ah don’t like it when ya do that. Also, are ya okay?” asked Applejack, bending over the collapsed mare.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes. She blinked several times.

Rubbing her eyes, she muttered, “I’m fine. Cool. Awesome. Just dizzy… If it wasn’t for those rad stunts, I totally would never have crashed! Totally. By the way, did you hear a voice?”

“Ah think ya might’ve a concussion.”

“No I don’t!”

“Well, ah didn’t hear any voice.” said Applejack with skepticism, who still thought that Rainbow was most likely concussed.

Rainbow Dash slowly stood up. She stretched. “Well then…”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Yeeeeeeeeees?”

“...could I have some apple cider?” asked the blue pegasus, smirking.

In the tree, Twilight facehoofed- how could her crush be so amazing, and yet so idiotic?

Applejack drew herself up to her full height.

That’s odd… I never noticed before how tall she is.

Twilight mentally catalogued it under folder Friends, subfolder Applejack, subsubfolder Appearance.

“Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash…” growled Applejack menacingly.

“Um, yeah?” the cyan pony asked innocently, smiling.

Her eyes flitted back and forth, searching for an escape route.

Applejack’s eyes narrowed to slits. She stared Rainbow Dash down.

Rainbow continued to smile, waiting for Applejack to speak, but it looked more like she was baring her teeth, which Twilight found confusingly hot?

Damn, I really need a psychiatrist.

Maybe I could ask Cadance for advice about love, since she’s the alicorn of love?

…

Absolutely not.

“It. Ain’t. Cider. Season. And ah know ya know it!”

“...oops…” whispered Rainbow, uncharacteristically meek.

Finally, Applejack opened her mouth to speak. “Ah’m gonna give you three options here, and ya can choose one. No more, no less.”

“Number one: ya come n’ have some food at the farmhouse. We don’t got no apple cider, but there’s lots a’ other foods for ya to have. Of course, first ya’ve gotta help out with all’a mah tasks” she drawled.

“Number two: if ya don’t wanna take that option, y’best skedaddle on outta this here orchard. Ah’m not saying ya’ve got ta go home, but in that case, ya can’t stay here.”

“N’ lastly, number three: ya don’t wanna help out, but ya ain’t leavin’. Well then… Bless. Your. Heart.”

Twilight, still sitting up in the apple tree, with slowly numbing fetlocks, mentally flipped through her dictionary of Southern Equestria vernacular.

Mhm… Mhm… OK, there’s skedaddle… Uh-huh… Uh-huh…

Oh.

Bless your heart is an insult! That’s interesting. When did I add that to my mentally compiled dictionary?

“I’ll just be going, I guess. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of here in ten seconds flat!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash, spreading her wings.

Good, she’s back to normal.

Twilight surreptitiously admired Rainbow’s wingspan.

“Oh no ya don’t! Y’ain’t goin’ anywhere. Not flyin’, leastaways. Ah’m still pretty sure ya’ve got a concussion.” Applejack said, stepping in front of Rainbow Dash, who was tensed for liftoff.

“Ugh, you’re not my mom! Stop it! I’m fine! Besides, you’re not even a doctor, so how do you know I’m concussed?!” argued Rainbow.

“Ah’m not Twilight, but that doesn’t mean ah’m an idiot, Dash. Ya ain’t flyin’, and that’s that.” pronounced Applejack.

“How am I supposed to get to town by walking? That makes it about 20 percent less cooler! Plus, I haven’t eaten since breakfast, which I immediately followed up with a ton of flying. I’m too exhausted to do anything!” declared Rainbow Dash, closing her wings and flopping to the ground dramatically.

Twilight sighed. She thought Rainbow was acting like Rarity. Not that that was a bad thing, but still…

Then again, she is tired.

And Applejack and Rainbow Dash have never gotten along very well…

“Well, fine. Ah suppose ya can come n’ eat some vittles before ya go…”

“Yes!”

“Follow me.”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash trotted off down the path.

Quietly, Twilight followed them via teleportation, hoping she would get some food herself- it was past her normal lunchtime.

That being said, if she wanted food, she would have to steal it…

Stealing’s bad, but… apple fritters do taste good…

Hm. I’ll choose what to do once I’m there.

Rainbow and Applejack continued to walk through the orchard.

Twilight teleported inside a tree near them.

AJ and RD cantered along.

Twilight Sparkle teleported into the sky above them.

Two mares, one blue and one orange, paced through the apple forest.

Twi teleported into Princess Celestia’s throne room, where Tia was eating cake.

Realizing her error, she instantly teleported out.

Celestia blinked.

Meanwhile, a pegasus and an earth pony ambled, chatting.

Twily teleported underground beneath them.

The Dash and the Apple galloped to lunch.

TS teleported several feet in front of them, to the outdoor picnic, which had been set up for the Apple reunion.

She quickly hid under the table before they could notice her.

Rainbow skidded to a stop before she could hit the food.

“Celestia, that looks good!” she exclaimed.

Applejack beamed with pride. “Ah know, right? Made ‘em mahself.”

“I’be been- *chomp* -cravibg abble- *chomp* -btrudel for, libe,- *chomp* -boreber!” Rainbow said around a mouthful of apple strudel.

“While ah appreciate that ya like mah food, ah don’t think ya should chew with yer mouth full.” Applejack commented, raising one eyebrow.

Under the table, Twilight tried not to drool at the fragrant, delicious scents of apple-related food wafting her way.

Rainbow Dash swallowed.

“Yeah yeah, whatever… Hey, by the way, are you and Rarity dating yet?” she asked innocently, tilting her head and trying not to smirk.

Applejack huffed.

“If ah’ve told ya once ah’ve told ya a million times: ah will never date Rarity! She’s so… So…” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to think of a fitting adjective.

“Pretty?”

“UGH! STOPPIT!!!” yelled Applejack, blushing furiously.

Rainbow smirked.

Twilight snorted.

Could AJ and Rarity be any more obvious?

They’re the perfect image for the dictionary definition of the enemies to lovers romance trope!

I mean, the time I had that sleepover?

And the time on the train when Rarity was jealous of that apple tree?

Perfect! Just pe-

Her stomach gurgled, reminding her that she had bigger fish to fry.

Cautiously, she slid a hoof out from under the table and quickly snatched an Æbleflæsk, which she only knew the name of from the Dencutiemarkish dictionary she read the other month, devouring it whole.

It eased the hunger slightly, but just barely.

So she grabbed something else.

And another thing.

And some stuff, for good measure.

And anything.

And everything.

Eating the last apple-based item, she was finally satisfied.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash paused from arguing as they looked over at the table.

“Um… didn’t there used to be food there? Like, a lot of it?” questioned Rainbow.

Uh-oh.

“Ah do believe there did…” Applejack responded hesitantly.

“And now it’s gone, in ten seconds flat!” Dash exclaimed, throwing her front hooves into the air.

Applejack strode up to the table. “Well, ah reckon there’s one way ta get ta the bottom’a this.”

She lifted the picnic blanket to reveal…

…nothing.

Applejack blinked.

Rainbow Dash blinked.

Twilight looked down on them from one of the farmhouse’s balconies.

Breathing fast, she thought about the pros and cons of her decisions.

On the one hoof, I didn’t get caught.

On the other, I’ve been running, flying, and teleporting all day, and now I’m utterly exhausted…

Oh well. It is what it is.

She idly used her mouth- because her magic was exhausted too- to pluck a flower from the window box.

“Wait, what time is it?” asked Rainbow Dash suddenly, eyes wide in alarm.

Applejack adjusted her hat with a hoof.

“Ah’m not sure, but judgin’ by how hungry ah am, plus the fact that ah just saw the Crusaders runnin’ by, ah’d say it’s around twelve thirty or so.” she replied.

Twilight had seen the Crusaders too, and wondered what they were doing with a stapler, several fluorescent green lightbulbs, and six jugs of lemonade, but decided it was best not to know.

Rainbow’s irises and pupils shrunk.

“Why d’ya ask?” Applejack queried, staying calm despite the fact that the amount of time she had to complete her daily tasks was only getting smaller.

“IjustrememberedthatI’mlatetofeedTankokaygottagobyeeeeeeeeeee!” Rainbow Dash called back, already flying away at the speed of light.

Applejack sighed.

“Ah told her not to fly any more today…”

Twilight Sparkle sat on the farmhouse balcony and wondered which mode of transportation to use next. She was in no rush, as she already knew where Rainbow lived.

Well, I can’t use teleportation, because my magic’s just about used up for the day…

Same for flying and running, since I’m physically exhausted…

Pinkie’s apparatus is still outside the library, and I can’t teleport to get it…

Nor can I teleport to fetch my hot air balloon…

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Eyes closed and hooves on the floor, she pondered.

And pondered.

An-

Aha!

I’ll just create an airborne contrivance of my own!

Using the last drops of her magic, Twilight floated to the ground.

Making sure to avoid Applejack, she quietly gathered supplies- wood from a chopped-down apple tree, metal scraps from a hill that was mysteriously full of metal sticking out of the ground, rusty screws from the barn, et cetera.

Soon she had a helicopter-esque machine created, complete with controls.

She spent the next hour or so flying to Rainbow’s house, waiting behind a cloud so she wouldn’t be seen, and finally, when Rainbow Dash left her house, following her to Sugarcube Corner.

Twilight landed behind a bush.

She idly speculated on why Rainbow took so long in her house.

Reading Daring Do?

Eating another lunch, since I ate hers? Whoops…

Trying on sunglasses?

She couldn’t have been…

No no no.

I’ve been reading too many romance novels.

Shaking her head, Twilight dismissed that ridiculous idea.

Besides, it wasn’t like Rainbow had chemistry with anyone else.

I mean, the very notion of Fluttershy and Rainbow dating?

Puh-leeze…

They might be friends since they were fillies, but that doesn’t mean they’ll ever be anything more.

And don’t even get me started on Ap-

The sound of the door to Sugarcube Corner closing startled Twilight out of her thoughts, thankfully.

Right- following Rainbow.

Twilight hurriedly tiptoed to the door.

Peeking around the frame, she didn’t see Rainbow, although she could hear snatches of her ordering from Mrs. Cake.

Huh… a potato-flavored cupcake?

“That’s silly! Maybe you misheard her?”

“Indeed, it’s very odd… Yeah, Pinkie you’re right- maybe I misheard her.” mused Twilight.

“Wait, Pinkie?!”

Pinkie bounced up and down excitedly, the bush she was bouncing in making loud cracking noises every time she landed.

“I’m Pinkie, all right! Wait, or am I? But if I’m not, then who am I? Fluttershy? Rarity? Applejack? Rai-” Twilight Sparkle shushed her.

Crouching down, Twilight waited for Rainbow Dash to fly out and confront her for spying, but nothing happened.

“PSST! CAN I TALK NOW?” faux-whispered Pinkie.

Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but heard Rainbow’s voice getting louder and opted to give a Meaningful Glance™ to Pinkie instead.

Ducking back into the bushes, she heard Rainbow come out, no doubt with a potato-flavored cupcake, and begin to trot away.

So she followed her.

For the rest of the day.

In a bush.

**************************

Hours later…

Twilight collapsed to the floor as soon as she entered her castle, the door closing behind her.

She sighed.

My experiment was a complete failure!

I didn’t learn anything- besides how exhausting and hard spying is.

Especially not anything about whether or not I love her.

I barely even got to see her, because I was too busy following and hiding from her!

And I missed dinner, to boot.

Plodding upstairs, she wondered what to do next.

Should I stop the experiments?

…

No. I can’t.

I must continue… in the name of science.

How do alicorns love? Ones that aren’t the Princess of Love, that is.

The world needs to know!

Or, at least, I do.

Lying down in her bed, Twilight smiled softly.

This experiment didn’t work.

But all that means is…

I need to take a different approach.

Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait, everypony! In other news, I have no idea when the next chapter'll be out, but enjoy this one!
(I'm not positive the part with the new Ponyville library is canon, but it is canon that Moon Dancer- the librarian in that scene- moves to Ponyville and lives in that library, so I mean, why not have her fix it into a proper library again?)

Experiment 2

After several hours spent waiting for the time Rainbow would normally wake up and half an hour spent looking for her, Twilight found Rainbow Dash clearing the sky of clouds.

At least, that was what seemed to be what Rainbow was supposed to be doing.

What she was actually doing, on the other hoof, was a horse of a different color.

Namely, sleeping on one of the clouds she was supposed to be destroying.

Twilight didn’t want to stare, but she couldn’t help it, drinking in the sight.

Rainbow’s soft, fluffy chest rose and fell slowly as she breathed.

Her long, flowing mane blew slightly in the breeze.

Rainbow’s tail twitched almost imperceptibly, and her face had a look of pure contentment.

Without even noticing it, Twilight Sparkle was leaning closer on her adjacent cloud, her mouth feeling dry, reaching out her hoof until it was almost brushing R-

Twilight slapped her hoof away.

What was I thinking?!

She’s asleep and I’m not dating her and we’re in public!

It would be so wrong even just to touch her!

Even just to graze her face, to feel her fur as gently as she is brash, to-

No!

No, no, no!

Continuing this train of thought, Twilight knew, would get her nowhere, except a one-way ticket to jail- or even worse, back to Magic Kindergarten.

So instead, she woke Rainbow up.

Via kicking the cloud.

Yelping, Rainbow plummeted several feet, but swiftly managed to recover and fly up again, landing on a different cloud.

Perched on the new cloud, a cumulonimbus, Rainbow glared indignantly down at Twilight. “What the hay was that for?! I was having an awesome dream, too!”

Twilight observed that Rainbow was now blushing- maybe thinking about said dream?

The observations were, of course, purely for the sake of the experiment of the day, which was to watch and record Rainbow’s behaviors in interactions with Twilight.

“Sorry, Rainbow. I had to wake you up because I wanted to talk to you.” Twilight called up to Rainbow.

Rainbow grumbled to herself before finally responding in a volume Twilight could properly make out, “Well? Where’s the fire, egghead?”

Twilight’s mind raced, trying to formulate an excuse.

Obviously, she couldn’t tell the truth.

I mean, how horribly would that even go? ‘Actually, I’m here to collect data on your reactions to me to try and determine if I’m in love with you, and by the way, I follow you around and watch you sleep like some kind of creepy forking stalker.’

No, that wouldn’t work. Instead, hoof pawing at the cloud she was on, she went with simply saying, “There’s no emergency. I just wanted to hang out with you. You know, as one does.”

Smooth, Twilight.

…

That was sarcasm.

Rainbow abruptly stood up.

Twilight stared, only realizing what was happening when it was too late as Rainbow proceeded to jump on her thundercloud.

Rain spilled out, drenching Twilight as the cloud drained.

Finally, after about half a minute, the cloud turned fully white, now a cumulus, and Rainbow stopped jumping up and down on it.

Twilight shivered, cold and wet. Her tail and mane hung limply down, straight as ~~the most hetero pony to ever live~~ an arrow.

Rainbow laughed as water slowly dripped off Twilight.

“You’ve got to admit it, that was a good one. And I mean, ya kinda deserved it, what with the whole waking-me-up-for-no-reason thing.”

Sighing, Twilight conceded that “Okay, fine, maybe I did.”

She was still wet, though, so she proceeded to shake as though she was a wet dog, successfully drying herself but splattering droplets just about everywhere else in sight, including a few on Rainbow.

“Oh, come on!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash, trying to brush the water away.

Twilight chuckled. “Turnabout is fair play, Dash. Besides, there’s no way I’m letting you try to dry me like last time…”

There was a moment of silence as the two both remembered their first meeting.

Twilight smiled softly, thinking of the friendly banter they had always had in interactions.

Only now, I can compete physically with her as well as verbally.

Sure, I would lose, but at least now I have wings to lose with.

Her wings flexed involuntarily, as though to remind her of their existence.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was still stuck on thinking about the past. “Remember when you refused to turn me into a gryphon? Or even a dragon?” Rainbow asked, flying down to Twilight and landing at her side.

“Hay, just because something can be done doesn’t mean it should.” Twilight scolded good-naturedly, a thrill going through her as Rainbow’s side brushed against hers.

Stop it! This is supposed to be me observing Rainbow’s reactions to me, not my reactions to her!

Twilight met Rainbow’s eyes.

Her normal look of a cocky smile and one raised eyebrow was gone; instead, Rainbow was looking at her strangely, an intense stare and furrowed brows, as though Twilight had something in her teeth.

But a simple, one-second spell told Twilight that no, there was nothing in her teeth, or on her face for that matter.

So what was it?

Could it be that Rainbow had caught on to what she was doing, to the observations and research?

Perhaps even to the spying the previous day?

No, no, of course not.

I wouldn’t call her unintelligent, but ah… how do I put this delicately… she’s not the most observant.

She wouldn’t notice a thing like this.

So then… what did she notice?

Twilight noticed that Rainbow’s expression had returned to normal and dropped the matter to return to later.

Rainbow spoke. “So uh… what do you want to do? Cause presumably you don’t want to just continue doing this forever.”

Presumably? Ooh, did she read the P section like I told her to?!

Twilight realized Rainbow had been talking to her, which meant she had to respond.

Her brain, addled from lack of sleep, was sluggish as she thought, Rainbow waiting impatiently in the background.

Obviously, they should do something Rainbow liked, because she had come to see Rainbow, and needed to observe the subject in her natural habitat.

And she didn’t want to suggest anything she had seen Rainbow do yesterday, because clearly Rainbow wouldn’t want to do something two days in a row.

Twilight knew that left a good amount of options, but she didn’t want to force Rainbow to do something she wasn’t in the mood for.

Awkwardly, Twilight Sparkle uttered, “Whatever you want to do, I guess.”

Rainbow Dash glared at her. “Don’t make me decide! I don’t know either!” the rainbow-maned mare exclaimed petulantly.

“Well, that leaves us in a bit of a dilemma, I suppose.”

“Oh, yeah? How so, Twi?”

“If neither of us will decide what to do, then we can’t do anything.” Twilight responded, a shiver going down her at Rainbow calling her Twi.

“We could ask somepony else… duh!”

“All right then, who should we ask?”

“You decide! I’m too tired, and I don’t really care! I’m just fine with whatever.”

“Exactly.”

“...Tartarus, you’re right. But I don’t want to go back and forth like this forever! I mean, technically, I won’t live forever- you will, because you’re an alicorn, but I’m a pegasus, so I’m mortal, unless you cast some sort of spell to make me immortal, but that would probably involve alicornfic- aficornl- cornacatio- turning me into an alicorn, and then what would I even be the princess of? Awesomeness? Sonic Rainbooms? Coolness? Speed? Plus you’d have to ask me first, because consent or whatever, and let’s be honest, I would totally say yes to magicky stuff and bigger wings, but you’d have to ask Celestia too since she’s like the boss pony or head princess or whatever, and she might say no, or she might say you have to make all the Elements of Harmony alicorns, and then Pinkie Pie would-”

Twilight interrupted Rainbow. “Dear friend, in the kindest way possible… SHUT UP!”

Rainbow closed her mouth, smirking, no doubt at the fact that she had managed to get a reaction out of Twilight, which was probably her intended outcome all along.

Twilight tried to take deep, slow breaths.

Don’t let her rattle you.

…

Don’t look at her mouth, either.

…

Even if it is really cute.

Remember, you need to be doing research, collecting data, experimenting.

For science.

“Anyway… I believe I have an answer to this madness.” Twilight declared.

Rainbow raised her eyebrows. “I’m listening.”

“We take turns choosing what activity to do, ensuring of course that it’s something we both like, especially that you in particular will like it, since I did wake you up so we could be doing this.” explained Twilight, pointing to several diagrams and mathematical equations she had drawn on a mysteriously-appearing chalkboard.

“That makes sense. But who chooses first?” asked Rainbow, “because you know, we can’t start arguing about not wanting to choose again, or it’ll totally defeat the purpose!”

Twilight nodded. “I know, which is why we’ll flip a bit… and before you ask, I already know you always want to be heads.”

“Actually, can I be tails today?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You’re doing this just to be contrary, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Rainbow admitted without a trace of shame.

“Just because you said that, you have to be the one who gets and flips the bit.” reproached Twilight, “and since you don’t have any on you, you can borrow one of mine, but if you keep it, I will hunt you down.”

Rainbow muttered a string of words that would’ve made a pirate blush, but she got a bit out of one of Twilight’s saddlebags.

She flipped it high into the air.

Both ponies watched it fall.

The gold glinted in the light.

It landed on the cloud, and Rainbow bent down to look at it.

“Heads.”

Twilight smiled in a way that she knew was creepy but didn’t care, her teeth bared.

Rainbow’s eyes widened slightly in uncharacteristic fear, putting the pieces together in her mind.

“Oh, this will be fun.”

*************************

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash had been standing outside the spa for half an hour now, and Twilight was starting to realize that this might not work.

So far, to get Rainbow to go inside, she had tried taunting, pushing, begging, pulling, threatening, bribing, and even a royal declaration- not necessarily in that order.

But still, Rainbow stood there, her hooves firmly planted on the ground, refusing to budge.

Twilight knew her perfectly-organized plan was very close to falling apart, but she had one more trick up her sleeve, so to speak.

Being nice.

As a bonus, I’ll get to see how Rainbow responds to that, because so far today, I’ve hardly collected any data on her.

I mean, there’s me thinking she’s pretty, her blushing, our sides brushing, the fact that we argue a lot but playfully, that weird look she gave me, her cute mouth…

Most of those are data on how I feel, though.

Besides, those don’t really prove anything.

Just that I’m physically attracted to her, which doesn’t necessarily mean we’re in love, and that we have good compatibility, which is also a factor of love, but doesn’t always mean I love her, right?

It can mean we have good compatibility as friends.

Totally.

Twilight cleared her throat, mentally pushing her previous thoughts out of the way to make room for data collection.

Looking over at Rainbow, she channeled her inner Fluttershy.

“It’s okay, Rainbow. You can do it. Trying new things is important, and who knows? You might even like it. Technically, you never did it last time, so you don’t know if you like it. And if you don’t, I will support you, and we can leave. But just try it, at least, so you can know whether you enjoy it or not.” Twilight said softly.

Rainbow bit her lip.

Subject may be considering my words- interesting, as when Fluttershy said the same sort of thing a few weeks ago, Rainbow ignored her without even considering what she said.

Is it because it’s me?

…Subject may also be trying to flirt.

I’m going to ignore that possibility because I don’t know what to do with it.

“You have to be in charge of your fear, or your fear will be in charge of you. I know you’re brave, Dash. Don’t let this take that away.” Twilight whispered, delivering her piece de resistance.

She looked into Rainbow’s eyes.

Within the magenta orbs, emotions flickered- fear, yes, but also hope and interest.

Twilight watched Rainbow consider the possibilities.

Subject may be smarter than has been previously thought.

This may require a separate study later.

Finally, Rainbow’s expression settled into steely resolve.

“I’ll do it.”

*************************

Lying on a lounge chair as a mane dryer whirred, Twilight relaxed, the warmth soaking into her fur.

Next to her, Rainbow snuggled into her bathrobe as Lotus Blossom filed her right upper hoof.

Aloe Vera removed cucumber slices from Twilight’s eyes.

Twilight opened her eyes and picked up a magazine from a nearby table to read.

“You know, the rules technically said that I had to like the activity you chose…” Rainbow said, stretching her slippered hind hooves.

Twilight turned a page. “Well, you like it, so if you want to be technical about it, I didn’t break the rules.”

Rainbow kicked off her slippers so Lotus could file her lower hooves. “I didn’t know that I’d like it, though.”

“My point still stands.” argued Twilight, adjusting her position in the chaise longue (which was the same as the lounge chair, but in Prench).

“Hm.” vocalized Rainbow dismissively, admiring her shining hooves.

Twilight’s eyes moved back and forth as she read. “It says here that archaeologists discovered a new ancient civilization last week!”

“Uh-huh.”

“My favorite scientist published a new research paper!”

“Mhm.”

“Sapphire Shores, Countess Coloratura, and Songbird Serenade are in a love triangle!”

“Yeah, sure.”

Subject appears to be ignoring me.

Stronger measures must be taken.

Namely, lying.

…Good thing Applejack isn’t here.

Twilight cleared her throat.

“The Wonderbolts are here, and they’ve asked for you by name!”

“I’ll do it later.”

“Daring Do wants you two to be a duo and rescue artifacts from Ahuizotl!”

“I know.”

“Applejack just finished making cider- hurry and you might get some!”

“Nah.”

Twilight sighed.

This isn’t working.

So she switched tactics.

Putting the magazine back on the table, Twilight leaned closer to Rainbow, ignoring the fact that the mane drier wouldn’t be able to blow on her mane if she moved.

She closed her eyes, opening them again with an intense look in them that her closest friends would describe as ‘maniacal’.

Twilight focused that look on Rainbow and spoke. “Where were you yesterday at Crusader o’clock?”

Rainbow opened her eyes and flinched at the sight of Twilight twilighting.

“I don’t know what crusader-o-clock is…” Rainbow said hesitantly.

“No, not crusader-o-clock, Crusader o’clock!” exclaimed Twilight.

It was not lost on her how close her mouth was to Rainbow’s.

Nor was it lost on Twilight that Rainbow did not seem to feel negatively about that.

“¿cRuSaDeR o ClOcK?” asked Rainbow, giggling.

Subject appears to be inching closer to me intentionally.

Additionally, on an unrelated note, subject is teasing me with mispronunciation.

“Crusader. O’clock.” stated Twilight.

“Ćⓡũșāđĕⓡ ø’ʗℒøć🄺‽” Rainbow postulated.

Twilight’s eye twitched. “Nevermind. Look, here’s the deal.”

Rainbow sat up as much as was possible with fresh, still-wet hoof polish. “Yeeeeees?”

“Yesterday, I saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a stapler, several fluorescent green lightbulbs, and six jugs of lemonade. I know you had something to do with this.” Twilight said gravely.

Rainbow’s face changed almost imperceptibly quickly- a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it situation- then returned to an impressively blank poker face.

“Prove it.” the pegasus uttered in an almost monotone voice tinged with anger.

Oh, she’s good.

But I’m better.

Twilight steepled her hooves. “Exhibit A: Scootaloo is in the CMC. You are friends with Scootaloo.”

“So?”

“That leads me to Exhibit B: You frequently help the Crusaders with their crusades, especially dangerous ones.”

“Doesn’t mean I helped them with that one.”

Twilight ignored Rainbow Dash and soldiered on. “Which brings us to Exhibit C: There are only a few possible things they could have been doing with those. One is, of course, stapling the lightbulbs to the lemonade jugs and seeing how long it took before they got electrified and earned their Cutie Marks in painful demise. Two is juggling. Lastly, number three is a lemon battery. Of course, using dark magic, there are several other things that could be done with those objects, but I don’t think Sweetie Belle would do that.”

Rainbow scoffed. “All of this is educated guessing! You can’t convict me on an educated guess. Benefit of the doubt, egghead! Where’s your rock hard, case-closed data?!”

Twilight took a deep breath.

Oh, all right.

You want to play that way, huh?

Let’s bucking play.

“Exhibit D: I know for a fact that the specific kind of lightbulb they used has been recalled for safety reasons. The only place in Equestria that still has some of them? Your house.”

“Now just wait a-”

“You’re friends with Scootaloo, as previously mentioned. Adopted sisters, even. She wouldn’t steal from you. The only way she would have those lightbulbs is if you gave them to her.”

“I can ex-”

“It would be oh so easy to get rock hard data. Simply ask the CMC a few questions, check their little creation for hoofprints…”

“But-”

“I bet Scootaloo would tell me how her and her friends had been having trouble thinking of ideas for schemes to try- as evidenced by what I overheard Apple Bloom say the other day- and she told you, upon which you suggested some sort of hare-brained scheme requiring a stapler, lightbulbs, and lemonade, as well as giving her the lightbulbs. Her friends then got the stapler from Applejack and the lemonade from Rarity- as evidenced by the fact that Applejack was planning to sell a stapler she has at a yard sale tomorrow, and Rarity made lemonade yesterday.”

“Don’t-”

“Oh, I won’t.”

Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief.

“If you confess, that is. Tell me you did it, and what exactly the Crusaders are going to do, and you will get off scot-free. Not a hair harmed on your head. No punishment.”

Rainbow stopped breathing, turned several shades paler, rolled her eyes back, lolled her tongue out, and loosened all her muscles until she was a floppy rag doll.

Conveniently, this did not cause her hoof polish to get messed up.

Twilight wasn’t fazed.

She reached a hoof forward and lightly grazed the side of Rainbow’s neck.

Feeling a strong pulse, she retracted her leg.

“The jig is up, Dash.” she said flatly, resisting the urge to laugh at the sight.

Rainbow continued to play dead.

Twilight tapped her hoof against the chair.

Rainbow impersonated an opossum.

Twilight twirled a strand of her mane around her hoof.

Rainbow cosplayed a corpse.

Twilight’s mane dryer was turned off.

Rainbow turned another shade paler.

Twilight stretched.

Rainbow’s eyeballs looked drier and drier by the second, but she didn’t blink, because again, she was ‘dead’.

Twilight yawned.

Rainbow twitched ever so slightly.

“Aha!” exclaimed Twilight, pointing accusatorily at Rainbow. “I knew you weren’t dead! Now get up, say yes, and we can pay the spa, go somewhere else, and pretend this conversation never happened.”

Rainbow’s ‘dead body’ stiffened. It drew in the largest breath in the history of breathing, stuck its tongue back in its mouth, forcefully closed its eyelids, and overcompensated for the paleness by turning blue again with tinges of red blush.

Then, Rainbow opened her eyes and jumped to her feet.

“Aw man, you got me.” Rainbow said cheerfully, hopping off the chair and landing several feet away from it due to flaring her wings while jumping.

Twilight waited. “...”

Rainbow casually tried to walk around Twilight, but Twilight menacingly spread her wings, blocking the pegasus from leaving.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine, yes, I gave them the idea and the lightbulbs. The idea was that first they could be Cutie Mark Crusaders Light Bulb Sellers, and then Cutie Mark Crusaders Light Bulb Breakers- by ‘accidentally’ spilling lemonade on said light bulbs- and then Cutie Mark Crusaders Light Bulb Fixers- by using staplers to fix them, and thereby make twice the amount of money.”

Twilight blinked, surprised. “Isn’t that…”

“Illegal? Sabotage? Ridiculous? Flimflam-esque? Creative destruction? Some other word you’re probably thinking of that I don’t know but I bet it’s covered in section five, chapter seventeen and two thirds, page ninety eight, paragraph four, sentences one through six of an obscure legal tome? Yeah, yeah, I know… But in my defense, Scoots needs money to buy a new scooter.” monologued Rainbow defensively, getisculating with her hooves.

Twilight was baffled by the sheer comedy of errors those statements were, and couldn’t find any possible way to respond to Rainbow without using words in another language which could not be translated to Ponish, so she ignored the majority of that monologue and chose to nitpick instead.

“Isn’t there some other way to get Scootaloo money? Like oh, I don’t know, letting her earn it herself without suggesting ill-advised schemes?!”

Twilight found her face alarmingly close to Rainbow’s and realized that, in her fit of irritation, she had stuck said face close to her crush’s, which, as she did not want said crush to know she was her crush, did not seem like a very good idea.

…

Subject’s breath smells like chimicherrychangas.

In the best way possible.

I hate my brain.

…Filing that under Subjects to Discuss at my Next Therapy Appointment.

Twilight knew her cheeks were extremely hot right now- practically flaming, in fact, but not literally, although that was certainly a good Plan W, just in case.

She wanted to back away before anything bad happened (what could possibly go wrong? She had no idea. Probably everything), but found herself rooted to the spot- again, not literally.

Since there was absolutely nothing else to do except panic, Twilight reluctantly decided to look at Rainbow, to actually look, to see.

For scientific purposes. Obviously.

Rainbow was staring straight at her, her pupils dilated.

Her mouth fell open, but Rainbow quickly closed it and bit her lip instead- so hard it drew blood.

Like Twilight, Rainbow’s cheeks were heavily flushed, and Twilight could hear the sound of Rainbow’s heart beating loudly.

The logical part of Twilight’s brain knew that all of these were symptoms of liking someone in a more-than-friends fashion, but she told that portion of her brain to kindly shut up.

Twilight was terrified of what might happen next, but she needed to know what it would be.

So she stepped ever so closer…

Closer…

Their lips were two inches apart at most, one at least.

Twilight had absolutely no idea what it would feel like, but she could picture it.

And she wanted to feel it, all of it, to know if her hypothesis was correct.

Why, I could write a whole treatise on this!

Research papers galore!

This could be the focus of my PHD!

Her body was filled with complex feelings, both emotional and physical, but thankfully, she didn’t have to worry about it because 99.99% of them were screaming YES YES YES!

So she moved her head just a little bit forw-

Rainbow Dash took a jump backwards.

“Twilight! Kissing on the first date?! Don’t you know anything about social cues? Ha ha… ha…” Rainbow trailed off, her weak attempt at teasing betraying a hint of the cocktail of emotions that was probably brewing inside her.

For a second, Twilight’s heart stopped in shock.

That was just…

Um…

Research.

Yes, quite.

Ah…

Subject appears flustered.

Hm.

Let’s not write this down on our mental report, shall we?

Write what down?

Indeed.

And Twilight promptly put the past minute inside a safe inside a chained box inside a two-factor-authentication password-encrypted server inside an amnesiac’s braincell inside a diamond-encrusted chest made of graphene and wrapped in spider silk inside a ladybug inside a quesadilla inside your mom inside the Memory Stone and put the Memory Stone in the darkest, dustiest corner of a closet in her mansion of mental memories and deadbolted the closet and gave the key to Discord who set the key on fire until it was ashes and then Pinkie Pie baked the ashes into a cake and ate it.

Long story short, she forgot that that had just happened.

All she remembered from said minute was that she had asked Rainbow if there was some other way for Scootaloo to earn money, and then… Hmm. A blank.

I must have spaced out.

The most recent thing she remembered was noting that Rainbow looked flustered.

Assuming it was unrelated, she repeated her previous question. “I said, isn’t there some other way to get Scootaloo money?”

Rainbow startled.

“Uh, yeah, I guess. My bad. I’ll write a journal entry to Princess Celestia about it later. We’re done here now, right? Because I’ve got my hoof polish, and you’ve got your mane done? Yeah, yeah, we’re done. Come on, let’s go. I’ve already got an awesome idea for our next destination!” exclaimed Rainbow, gaining confidence with every word until, by the end of her speech, she was acting just like her regular self again.

Rainbow Dash flew off, the door slamming shut behind her.

Smiling slightly for no reason in particular, at least not one that she could think of, Twilight followed.

*************************

Twilight and Rainbow had been trotting along for a bit now.

The sun shone brightly, warming Twilight despite the slight breeze, and the flowers in the midst of the grassy field smelled fragrant.

However, this was somewhat tainted by the fact that Rainbow refused to give any details about what it was they were going to be doing.

This meadow, although pretty, was nowhere near any landmarks of interest- no towns, hermits, farms, rivers, historical sites… Nothing!

And she didn’t have us take a picnic basket, so it can’t be that.

Twilight was trying to play Twenty Questions with Rainbow in an attempt to figure out what was so relevant about going to the field, but it had begun to backfire when Rainbow began answering all her questions with questions of her own.

For example, right now.

“Are we going somewhere… in another kingdom?” asked Twilight with more than a tinge of irritation in her voice, her hooves sinking into the dewy grass.

“Do you want us to be?” replied Rainbow obliquely, her wings spread to soak in the rays of sunshine.

Twilight huffed, then thought of another question to ask. “Are we going somewhere on land?”

Rainbow grinned, her tail flicking ever so slightly to the left and upward. “Why should I tell you?”

Although Twilight was annoyed by this response, she knew from her observations of Rainbow that her tail flicking in such a manner was a tell- Rainbow was lying, of a sort.

However, she couldn’t figure out whether that was a yes or a no.

Since Rainbow hadn’t said either, she couldn’t simply determine that the answer was the opposite.

Twilight furrowed her brow, then noticed that Rainbow had stopped walking.

Rainbow turned to her.

Twilight noted the careless, fluid way Rainbow Dash moved, completely and confidently in harmony with her body.

It’s as though her body is an extension of her instead of the cumbersome, unwieldy container for my mind that my body is.

Interesting.

But then again, that was why Twilight lo- liked Rainbow, wasn’t it?

Her athleticism, her bold, brash personality…

She’s opening her mouth!

Pay attention, Twilight!

“We’re here.” declared Rainbow firmly.

Subject has extremely good posture.

Twilight looked around.

They were still in the middle of a grassy meadow speckled with flowers, the sun shining down while several white, puffy clouds drifted across the blue sky.

She hated to admit it, but… “I don’t understand.” Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash patted her on the head. Twilight recoiled.

“You don’t understand? Well, I don’t know about you, but I learn by doing, so…” And with that, Rainbow took off flying.

Twilight used her magic to pull Rainbow back to the ground.

“Now just hold on a second! What precisely are we going to be doing? I learn by explanation, you featherbrain! You can’t just fly off and expect me to follow you! Tell me what in the hay we’re going to be doing, at least!” Twilight cried.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You’re no fun!” she grumped. “But fine. We’re going to be practicing our flying, because I am trying to get into the Wonderbolts, and you are still pretty new at- and dare I say bad at- flying.”

Twilight’s wings began to ache as soon as Rainbow said that, reminding her of all the flying she had done yesterday.

Of course, she had been following Rainbow secretly, so it wasn’t like she could tell her that.

But that left her with no excuse for not flying, which meant…

She’d have to actually fly.

Unless, of course, she wanted Rainbow to be confused with her and think she was lazy, but clearly, she didn’t want Rainbow to think badly of her, because it would mess up her data.

So, sighing, Twilight spread her wings. “Ready when you are.”

Rainbow looked at Twilight, her eyebrows raised.

Her eyes glinted with approval, surprise, and a hint of a challenge.

It was a heady cocktail of emotions for Twilight to take in, and she wondered how it would make her feel if she was a changeling, if it would be a snack or a meal or nothing at all, if it would nourish her or just provide empty calories.

I should really do more research later on love from changelings’ point of view.

This could be a breakthrough in my studies!

But for now, the weather was perfect, Rainbow Dash was there alongside her, and Twilight was going to fly.

Curving her lips in a confident smile, Rainbow began to count down. “On three. One… Two…”

Twilight took off.

Rainbow rocketed after her, yelling, “I didn’t say threeeeee!”

Twilight did the mental calculations in her head as she flew, determining what wing positions she would have to use for maximum aerodynamicity.

Rainbow, of course, who was quickly catching up to her, could just use strength, talent, training, and undiluted pegasus magic to fly, but since Twilight only really had a bit of flying training and some pegasus magic, she had to rely on her smarts, which would be hard but doable.

After all, in the Running of the Leaves, she had gotten fifth place to Rainbow’s last by trying, using her brain, and not getting distracted.

Twilight adjusted her wings to curve around a cloud.

Behind her, Rainbow extended her hooves out in front of her and flew straight into said cloud, obliterating it on impact.

That was another thing Rainbow had that she didn’t when it came to flying: the ability to do tricks.

Thankfully, they hadn’t established any rules beforehoof- she only knew it was a race because it was always a race with Rainbow Dash- so tricks wouldn’t earn RD any points, because there was no points system.

Twilight felt a ripple of air on her hindquarters and knew Rainbow was close.

Thinking fast, she turned sharply to the right.

Glancing back, she saw that Rainbow was farther behind now, not having anticipated that move.

But it wouldn’t work twice, as Twilight soon found out about fifteen seconds later when she changed direction again to the left.

Once again, due to her speed, Rainbow was catching up, leaving a distractingly pretty rainbow trail behind her. Twilight almost hit a bird because she was craning her neck over her shoulder at it.

Thinking fast, Twilight shot straight up, folding her wings and leaning into the suitable air current, allowing it to carry her.

Rainbow flew upwards with her, going so fast it made an audible noise.

As the pegasus shot by the alicorn, Rainbow smirked at Twilight. “Too slow, egghead!”

And then they plummeted.

Twilight didn’t know who did it first, only that suddenly they were banking into a downwards current, reversing their motions, allowing gravity to take over.

Twilight’s stomach roiled at the sight of the world below them coming into focus, looking larger by the second.

The two were almost back in the field.

Right before they hit the ground, Twilight remembered that Rainbow had never given her lessons on landing, because Rainbow didn’t know how to either.

And then, a crunch.

Dust billowed upwards from the crater.

Of course, Twilight didn’t see that, because her eyes were scrunched tightly closed- it was merely her imagination, as was the crunch, because her hooves were over her ears. What she thought would happen.

Mentally, she assessed her body.

She felt absolutely no pain.

No bleeding, broken bones, concussion… Nothing.

Hesitantly, Twilight opened her eyes.

She was floating in her magical aura a foot above the unharmed ground.

Beside her in the aura, Rainbow laughed. “That was awesome!”

Twilight slowly let out a breath she hadn’t been aware of holding.

She tried to lower herself and Rainbow to the ground, but all she could focus on was the pegasus mare’s crooked smile, her wind-tossed mane, her…

And still, she didn’t know with certainty what Rainbow thought of her as.

A friend, or… something more.

Forcing her eyes away from Dash, Twilight used her horn to guide the two safely back to earth.

As her hooves touched the solid dirt, she knew that this approach wouldn’t work either.

But the day wasn’t over yet.

She would keep trying.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ravenous after that. Should we go to the Ponyville Café? Café Hay? The Hay Burger?” Twilight asked, her wings falling limply to her sides.

Rainbow tapped her chin, thinking. “...Well, I’d rather go to The Hay Burger, because it has way better food than the others and it’s less expensive, but I guess it’s your choice or whatever…”

Rainbow gave Twilight a pleading look.

Twilight’s face felt hot. She couldn’t say no to Rainbow wearing that expression; it was too attractive.

Reluctantly, she nodded.

*************************

Twilight sat down on a barrel.

Across from her, on the other side of the table, Rainbow gingerly sat down.

Twilight couldn’t help but notice the way Rainbow grimaced when her hindquarters touched the seat, carefully adjusting them so only her upper rump was bearing the weight.

Delicately, or as delicately as she could (she wasn’t Rarity, after all), Twilight asked, “Are you all right?”

Rainbow flinched at the question, then winced when that caused her position to adjust.

She twitched her tail so she was sitting on top of it. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just my heat.”

Twilight hmmed in sympathy.

Heat was pretty normal for mares starting at a somewhat young age, and getting younger every year- most mares chose not to have foals until after they were done with all their schooling, even though they physically could (including her).

That being said, despite Twilight having a multitude of knowledge and good opinions on it, Rainbow clearly wanted to drop the topic, so she did.

Instead, Twilight waved over a waiter.

“I’ll have two hayburgers, one order of fries with ketchup, and a milkshake.” she said confidently.

The waiter jotted that down and turned to Rainbow.

Rainbow glanced down at the menu, pretending to consider, although she probably already knew what she wanted. “I’d like… Two hayburgers, a fries with ketchup on the side, and a soft drink- maybe ginger ale today? Or lemon-lime soda? Heck, why not both?”

Finished scribbling down the orders, the waiter bowed to Twilight and left.

Twilight grimaced. She hated it when ponies treated her like she was something special.

Sure, she was a princess, but still a new one, and really all she did for it was edit a spell and save Equestria a few times.

It wasn’t like she was Princess Celestia or anything.

Rainbow snorted. “You should see the look on your face, Twilight! Honestly, I don’t see what’s so bad about everybody thinking you’re awesome. If I was a Wonderbolt, I’d love it when people treated me like that!”

Twilight ‘accidentally’ stepped on Rainbow’s hoof.

Rainbow shut up.

“Anyway…” Twilight changed the subject. “Do you always get ginger ale and lemon-lime soda, or were you actually deciding?”

“Oh, that. Every time, I think I might try something different, try getting only one or the other or a new thing, but I always just get those.” Rainbow waved her hoof dismissively. “But enough about me. What about you? I’ve been trying to be more sympathetic to others or whatever.”

Twilight made a vague noise of agreement, not paying any attention to what Rainbow was saying.

She was busy mentally cataloguing all the different ways to mentally say how much she was obsessed with Rainbow and all the little things that she loved about her.

Jeez. It’s almost like I really am in love with her!

Rainbow leaned forward and made direct eye contact. “Whatcha thinking about?”

You.

Rainbow raised her eyebrows.

Twilight realized she had said that out loud.

Profusely blushing, she squeaked and sank down in her seat.

The waiter delivered their food and drinks, and the two spent the rest of the meal in an awkward silence.

Twilight did note during this, however, that Rainbow did not seem entirely upset with this development, just surprised with a side of hope, excitement, and mild confusion.

When the meal ended, Twilight beckoned the waiter over.

“Check, please!”

The waiter handed over a check.

Twilight tried to reach into her saddlebags for a pen, but it was ever so slightly out of reach.

She sighed.

“A little help?” she asked Rainbow politely.

Rainbow pulled the pen out of Twilight’s saddlebags and handed it to her.

Twilight took the pen from Rainbow’s hoof and tried to pretend that the warmth she felt when their hooves grazed against each other and the way Rainbow’s lavender polish sparkled in the sun like a certain pony she could name were meaningless.

Okay, this is getting out of hoof. Stop it, self. Just stop.

Twilight filled out the check and handed it back to the waiter.

Dropping the pen back into the saddlebags, Twilight stood up.

Rainbow stood up, perfectly in sync with her.

Unprompted, Twilight’s mind imagined Rainbow as an alicorn.

She’d be taller than Twilight was, certainly, with a horn slightly smaller than Twilight’s but bigger wings that faded into darker blue (since Rainbow was born a pegasus and not a unicorn).

She’d carry herself more elegantly, but still more confident than delicate.

Her beauty would be graceful, powerful, with a flowing, sparkling rainbow mane and tail.

Her horn would be sharp and deadly, and her body would be lean, lithe, but with subtle curves in all the right pla-

“Twilight! Come on!”

Ah, yes. Right. Leaving.

Twilight and Rainbow left the fast food restaurant with no further incidents.

Once outside, Rainbow turned to Twilight.

“My choice again, egghead. Should we take a trip to the quesadilla factory? Maybe an active volcano?” quipped Rainbow playfully.

Twilight shuddered. “Quesadillas still exist, I know. Don’t remind me. We did something we both liked just now; why not choose another thing we’ll both enjoy?”

Rainbow thought for a few seconds.

Twilight leaned against the wall and waited.

“Wellll,” Rainbow enunciated, “I have been meaning to hang out with Fluttershy sometime this week, see how she’s doing, have some tea, ask a few questions about Tank, that sort of thing. Since we don’t have a group hangout till next week.”

Twilight nodded with an air of finality. “All right, then. Let’s go visit Fluttershy.”

*************************

As the two drew close to Fluttershy’s house, Twilight heard the animals first, as always.

The chirp of a bird, the squeak of a chipmunk, the growl of a bear, the crunch of a bunny biting down on a carrot.

She saw them next- a squirrel, a ferret, a goat, peeking out from between the trees that lined the path.

Now the cottage came into view, clay and moss and warm light on the other side of a bridge, surrounded by flowers, delicate saplings, and a couple birdhouses.

Soon, Twilight and Rainbow had crossed the bridge.

Twilight knocked once on the door and waited patiently for her shy friend to open the door.

Rainbow, less patient, knocked several more times, louder than Twilight’s knocks were.

Twilight pushed Rainbow’s hoof away from the door before she could knock a fifth time and glared at her, rebuking her without words.

Then, the door opened.

Floral scents, jasmine and lilac and honeysuckle and too many to name, wafted out from the cottage.

Fluttershy’s nervously smiling face appeared in the door.

“Sorry I took so long! I was feeding the mice. One of them is a baby and needs to be given liquid from an eyedropper.” Fluttershy said meekly.

In her hoof she held an (adult) mouse, which she was petting with another hoof, standing bipedal somehow.

Perhaps she learned it from Discord?

Ooh, I could ask him to teach me too!

No, no. Focus.

Rainbow is here to talk to Fluttershy, and you’re here to observe Rainbow.

“No worries, Flutters. Just wanted to drop in and chat.” Rainbow said smoothly, the three walking inside. “Cool mouse you’ve got there, by the way. Can I pet it?”

Fluttershy sat down on the light yellowish-green chair, leaving no other choice but for Twilight and Rainbow to share the sofa.

Not that Twilight minded, of course.

Twilight sat down on the plush sofa, her hindquarters sinking into it, and let the hum of conversation fade to the back of her mind.

Her haunch was touching Rainbow’s, who seemed to be in no hurry to change that.

As Twilight, being an alicorn, was pretty good at multitasking- if she did say so herself- she separated a small portion of her mind from the rest and devoted it to listening and responding as needed.

Subsequently, she made a witty quip as a reply to the conversation, and a thrill went through her to see the familiar smile on Rainbow’s face.

It took a hundred and ten percent of Twilight’s brain to stop herself from blushing.

Time passed this way, Twilight watching Rainbow’s reactions to Fluttershy and Twilight and the differences between them.

When Fluttershy spoke, Rainbow smiled in agreement or amusement, but with Twilight, it was laced with something more, something… not quite suggestive, but similar nevertheless, something Twilight didn’t have words for, which was always a shock.

And Rainbow made eye contact with both of them in turn, depending on who was speaking or who Rainbow was speaking to, but her eye contact with Fluttershy was brief, soft, gentle even, whereas her eye contact with Twilight was intense, firm but not angry, like there was some sort of message she was trying to convey.

Twilight ran the look through her processors, but there were no results.

Additionally, throughout the conversation, Rainbow had been inching closer to Twilight.

It was so subtle she almost could have missed it, if it weren’t for the fact that paying attention to Rainbow was all she was doing right now.

But slowly, ever so slowly, more of Twilight was touching Rainbow, and it seemed to be intentional.

For the life of her, Twilight couldn’t fathom why.

A word came to mind, randomly: oblivious.

Yes, it must have been random. After all, she wasn’t being oblivious to anything.

The small portion of her brain that was actually socializing heard Rainbow say that she should probably be going, and heard Fluttershy reply that that was for the best, as she had no more tea for Rainbow, had nothing else interesting to add to the conversation, had answered all Rainbow’s questions, and besides, Angel was starting to get annoyed.

Instantly focusing, Twilight’s brain removed the divider and used all of its brainpower to apologize for keeping Fluttershy so long and Rainbow drinking all her tea, she promised she’d buy Flutter some more and give it to her next time they saw each other, she’d just be on her way then, did she mention how cute that mouse was, it was lovely to see you, goodbye.

The door closed behind Twilight.

As she walked away from the cottage, she turned to Rainbow.

“So, any suggestions for what we do next?”

Rainbow sucked in a breath. “Oh, right. Listen, I’m like really sorry, but I’ve got to get back to weather duty. Again, super sorry. See you tomorrow?”

Twilight deflated at first, but after hearing the last sentence, she brightened again. “Yes… see you tomorrow.”

Rainbow winked boldly and took off.

Watching Rainbow fly off, a warm, fuzzy feeling arose in her, and Twilight smiled to herself.

Certainly, she hadn’t learned whether she loved Rainbow from this, or even whether Rainbow loved her.

But it was data. She could use that.

And besides, she had spent time with Dash, and that made her feel good.

Author's Note

I know, I know. Another long wait between chapters. But I promise the next one- which is an interlude, so it's a bit shorter- will come out soon!
(Like soon soon.)
[No, really.]
Besides, this one is very very long.
And I've been working on other things, most of which I haven't published yet since I'm still drawing their cover images.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Twilight is so hopeless with romantic tension.
It almost reminds me of someone...
:twilightblush: