A Tomb of Cotton.by RanitaChaptersChapter 1: Reflex.Chapter 2: Blood.Chapter 3: Nightmares.Chapter 4: Skin.Chapter 5: Meat.Chapter 6: Soul.Chapter 7: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Bad Ending).Chapter 8: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Good Ending).Chapter 1: Reflex.When the little bunny came staggering agonizing to the doors of the sanctuary everyone panicked, they knew that what the little one needed was super concentrated carrot juice, but this was stored in the cellar and the only one who had the keys was Fluttershy. Unfortunately Angel in his tantrum had neglected them and had no idea where they were, by the time the sanctuary staff finally discovered that the little elephant who had swallowed the snake had the keys stuck in his trunk, it was too late. The little bunny's heart couldn't take it anymore and simply stopped beating, little by little Angel watched in terror as the life drained out of his own body and as Fluttershy finally closed her eyes, he tried to shake her, rock her and even give her mouth to mouth resuscitation, but it was useless. As the sanctuary workers swarmed around her and began yelling things at her, the rabbit trapped in the pegasus' body could only stand still, his gaze fixed on what used to be her small body as a single horrible thought built in his mind, Fluttershy had died. The next thing Angel felt was a slap straight in her face, the blow came from the head nurse of the sanctuary who, seeing that the pegasus didn't seem to react saw no choice but to hit her. Angel came back to himself looking at the mare in front of him, she held him by his shoulders and looked directly at him with a compassionate expression. “Fluttershy I...I'm sorry, I really am.” The mare gave Angel a tight hug that he couldn't return, he simply looked down again, paling at the image of her body lying on the ground, it was a surreal and overwhelming sensation, so much that it made him feel uncontrollable nausea, without any hint of consideration, Angel vomited on the mare's back who quickly moved away. For a moment she thought about complaining to the pegasus but the moment she saw Fluttershy's face completely pale and apparently absent with vomit still staining her chin she changed her face to a more sympathetic one, after all she had just lost her bunny Angel, that must have had her torn up inside. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Later that day Zecora arrived at the sanctuary in search of the little lizard she had brought in the morning, the moment she heard the news from one of the nurses she panicked, ran through the corridors of the main building of the sanctuary, on her way to the infirmary and when she finally entered the room abruptly she met Fluttershy face to face. She saw her sitting next to one of the beds in the infirmary, her back to her, the pegasus didn't seem to notice the zebra's presence, remaining completely motionless. Zecora approached slowly, circling the bed until she was in front of it, what she saw made her eyes widen and her breath catch in her throat. Right on top of the soft sheets, arranged in such a way that he appeared to be sleeping, lay Angel's body, dirty and bruised. The zebra turned to look at Fluttershy and her fear grew even more, the pegasus' face was a mixture of panic and shock, her eyes were fixed on the rabbit's face and it looked like she hadn't blinked in a long while, her forehead was completely drenched in sweat and her fur was pale. Zecora then approached by taking a couple of steps towards the pegasus and placing a hoof on her shoulder to try to get her attention. “Fluttershy...?” she asked somewhat doubtfully ”Are you okay...as soon as I heard what happened I came running here too.” Angel kept his eyes straight ahead despite having heard Zecora's words, he didn't care, he just continued to get wrapped up in his tangle of thoughts. The sow, worrying that her fears were becoming true, insisted again with a little more firmness. “Fluttershy I'd like you to answer me I don't like these waves at all.” Still without an answer, the zebra in a desperate attempt to make her friend react grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her forcing her to look at her. “Fluttershy stare at me I need to know something urgently!” Zecora spoke with a serious tone uncommon for her while keeping her eyes fixed on Fluttershy's, making sure that Fluttershy was listening to her ”Before your friend's sad demise I must know Did you and him switch bodies before he passed away?” That question finally brought Angel back to himself, for a moment he thought Zecora was his best chance that if he told her what had happened she could fix it, but he quickly dismissed that thought. Despite being just a bunny he was perfectly aware that there was nothing, in the entire kingdom of Equestria with the power to revive the dead, not even the princesses could do something like that, so, right now he was in a dilemma. He could still tell Zecora what had happened, that because of his arrogance and carelessness Fluttershy had died in her rabbit body, but if he did then what would become of him? After all, even if by accident, he had caused the death of a pony and not just any pony, we're talking about one of the elements of harmony, one of the most important ponies in Equestria, and, although her body was technically still alive, she was gone. So what would happen to him if everyone found out, would they judge him, would they lock him up, could they even do that even if he was just a rabbit, he had no idea, but at that moment fear gripped him, he didn't want to be found out, not until he knew how to excuse himself from the tragedy, finally finding his voice stuck in his throat he was able to work out a quick answer for Zecora. “Yes...yes, she..I mean, he and I switched before he...died” once again for Angel it was strange to hear Fluttershy's voice coming out of his mouth, but the discomfort he felt now didn't compare at all to the first time, still he did his best to keep his composure in front of the zebra. “Oh that's a relief a relief indeed, for a moment I thought something had gone terribly wrong” Zecora let out a big sigh of relief before realizing how insensitive she was being to Fluttershy who had just lost her best animal friend ‘Oh I'm sorry Fluttershy you don't know with what passion, that all this happened was not my intention’ the zebra lowered her head with intricate heaviness ”By giving you that position I thought it would help you, I didn't know this was how it would end up.” The zebra's apology made Angel come to a new resolution, Zecora was right, it wasn't his fault, it was hers, if she hadn't prepared that stupid potion they would never have switched bodies and Fluttershy will still be alive. At this a new emotion came over Angel, one that overcame sadness and fear in a single instant, anger. “Well, your apologies are useless now!!!” Fluttershy's voice rose to a volume Zecora never thought possible, quickly raising her head to look into an angered face. “What the hell am I supposed to do with them!!! apologies won't bring her back to life!!! and you know what, you're damn right, if it hadn't been for your stupid idea none of this would have happened!!!” Out of nowhere the pegasus lifted its hoof and hit Zecora hard in the face, so hard that it knocked her backwards. Zecora turned around in disbelief as the burning in her cheek became more and more present, never, in all the time she had known her, did she believe that Fluttershy was capable of doing something like this, neither cursing nor hitting someone. The zebra was speechless as the pegasus continued her outburst. “And I'll tell you something else, I don't understand why the hell in the first place any pony would want anything from you, you are a filthy Zebra and ever since you came to town it's just been disaster after disaster, like the time with the acid you made the vain unicorn get in her mane or when you caused a horrible disease to the farm girl's little sister and now, you caused a death...!!!” Angel walked towards Zecora aggressively making the zebra recoil in fear until he hit the wall of the room “You are a disgusting and despicable being, I WISH YOU HAD DIE IN HIS PLACE!!!” Tears streamed down Zecora's face, Fluttershy's hurtful words fueled the guilt she felt and made her miserable, not knowing what else to do or say the zebra simply ran out of the room sobbing while Angel stood in the middle of the room with her wings outstretched and panting. As the anger dissipated little by little Angel couldn't help but feel a little guilty for what he had said to Zecora, yes she may have provoked this situation but she had done it from her best intention and maybe if Angel had been more responsible...No, that wasn't possible, he wasn't to blame, he just wanted Fluttershy to pay more attention to him, it didn't take a weird potion to make Fluttershy do what she should, that zebra was to blame. Angel returned back to the side of the infirmary bed and looked at her limp body again and the fear came back to him, he had no idea what was going to happen now, he had no idea what he was supposed to do and most importantly, he had no idea how to fix this. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ The next day Angel and Fluttershy's friends, as well as the sanctuary staff and some of the animals, organized a small funeral in Angel's honor, everyone gathered at the edge of Fluttershy's hut and dug a small grave. The little bunny's body had been wrapped in a beautiful white cloth and placed in a small box, his face had been placed in such a way that he seemed to be smiling peacefully, even Rainbow Dash had caused a faint drizzle to form a farewell, inside the box a handful of soil with seeds had also been placed. “When her body decomposes and the seeds germinate, her grave is adorned with beautiful cotton buds” is what the farmer pony had said to Angel to justify the strange gesture. Angel did not say a single word during the whole ceremony, he could only watch as little by little, what no one knew, was the last smile that the sweet and tender Fluttershy would give to the world, disappeared into the earth and dust. When the burial was over, everyone present said some words in honor of the little bunny, but Angel didn't listen to any of them, his ears were still ringing due to the headache he felt and even if he had been in perfect condition, he wasn't interested in anything those ponies had to say about him, after all none of them really knew him, for them he was just an adorable pet, a stupid animal that only existed to look cute and keep Fluttershy company, Angel couldn't help but grit his teeth at this thought, the only pony that really understood him was Fluttershy and she was gone. When the ceremony was over the sanctuary staff and the animals dejectedly left the place while Fluttershy's friends approached the pegasus to talk to her. “Fluttershy...” began Twilight ”I understand that you must feel horrible and very sad about what happened to Angel...” “And we want you to know that, despite the fact that we can't feel the way you feel, you have as always our full support” continued Rarity. “We've already talked to the people at the sanctuary...” said Applejack ”And they've agreed to give you all the time you need to recover.” “And if at any time you need anything, anything at all...” began Pinkie Pie. “You can tell us and we'll be here to help you” concluded Rainbow Dash. Angel didn't look away from Fluttershy's grave, all that cheesy paraphernalia they had told him was too much for him, if they all knew the truth they wouldn't even be talking to him. Once again he felt the fury rise in his throat but he managed to restrain himself. “Aham..yeah, right” he replied dryly as he stood up and headed towards the cabin. All the mares exchanged worried glances at the rude response of the yellow pegasus, but quickly attributed it to the sadness she was surely going through, they could not even imagine how devastated she was probably feeling, they decided that they would not pressure her, they would give her her space and wait until she felt well enough to talk to her. Without further ado, they all walked away back to town, leaving Angel alone. Angel entered the cabin after several minutes of trying to open the door, he still didn't understand how ponies could lift and move things so easily without fingers, something about his old body he was beginning to miss too much. When he entered he just closed the door behind him and let himself fall back against it, the hut was empty and without a single light on which, combined with the dim light coming through the rain clouds, gave it an air of sadness and melancholy. Angel appreciated the view for a second before determining that he didn't like it. He quickly stood up and walked to the cabin's kitchen, stretching to the shelf where Fluttershy kept her firewood, grabbing a large handful and returning to the living room, he threw the wood reluctantly into the fireplace and searched for the flint Fluttershy used to light it with. After a few minutes he found it right on the edge of the fireplace itself, he tried to use his new hooves to light the fire but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't create a single spark, desperate Angel let out a cry of frustration and threw the flint into the wood which obviously didn't ignite. Giving up Angel let himself fall to the floor, covering his ears which did not stop buzzing, he did not understand why his head hurt so much, it felt as if something was drilling the base of his skull, he closed his eyes trying to relieve it and it worked slightly, so much so that suddenly Angel realized something new, It was an even stranger sensation than the headache or the general discomfort he had been feeling since yesterday, this was very subtle, barely perceptible, it felt as if something was pressing against his chest, Angel got up and felt his fur, thinking that maybe he had hurt himself without realizing it, but he found nothing. Still he didn't stop his gentle touch on it, soon he found himself looking it up and down, despite everything that had happened, he still hadn't given himself the task of examining what was now his new body in detail, he used his hooves to explore his face first, he felt his soft features and long mane, his ears were very soft although nothing compared to the ones he had when he was a rabbit and they felt cool to the touch, then he lowered his hooves and felt her neck, it was extremely fluffy and by pressing lightly he could feel how sensitive the skin of Fluttershy's body was, he went down her chest, where the feeling of pressure still persisted, and then on her back behind her wings, Angel couldn't believe how curious his own touch felt on her body, he started stroking more frantically all over feeling all the new parts. Finally he reached the belly of Fluttershy's body and as he tried to continue his frantic exploration he felt a twinge of pain, he quickly pulled his hooves away from the impression, his distracted mind came back to himself as he realized what he was doing. “What the hell am I doing?” Angel shook his head and got up from the floor ”This isn't right, none of this is right...” Angel looked around again, now that the night was starting to settle the place looked even more gloomy, he couldn't help but think how quiet it was without Fluttershy's cheerful humming she used to do while preparing her dinner. That memory not only made Angel feel sad all of a sudden but it also made his stomach growl profusely, he hadn't realized how hungry he felt, in fact, now that he thought about it, he was sure he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, maybe that explained the headache. He made his way back to the kitchen, stumbling a couple of times due to the darkness that was becoming more and more prominent, he groped for the shelf where Fluttershy kept the food, after a few minutes of trying to memorize he got it, he opened the shelf and found a good amount of pony food, canned peaches, boxed bread, potatoes, celery and of course, many boxes of tea, none of this caught Angel's attention, he rummaged around a bit more finding a jar of cookies and a few cartons of milk, but quickly moved away and switched to the next shelf, where Fluttershy kept the food for her animals. In this case it took him much less time to find what he was looking for, he took the whole basket of carrots and returned back to the living room, while walking in the direction of the big armchair he passed by the big mirror Fluttershy had to check herself before going out in the mornings, he couldn't help but stop in his tracks and turn his face to see himself. Angel recognized the face that looked back at him, but at the same time it was like seeing a complete stranger, he took a couple of steps towards the mirror looking straight into her eyes, deeply, hoping to be able to see even a hint of Fluttershy's soul reflected, but there was nothing, only his own soul, for a moment he felt hyperventilated, keeping his gaze fixed on the mirror made him feel horrible, he even noticed how the pressure in his chest increased slightly. He shook his head cutting off the eye contact and heading back to the living room couch, leaning back on it and placing the basket of carrots next to him, he took one and started to eat it. The food took his mind away from his thoughts for a while, it wasn't until the last of the carrots was consumed that once again his mind was overwhelmed by the situation. Angel didn't want to think anymore, the ideas make his head hurt more, he didn't want to have to think of a way to fix it because he had come to the conclusion that there was no way to do it, he placed his hooves over his face blocking his view and comforting him a little, at least this way he could imagine that he was still the same. While the cabin was completely dark and the last vestiges of sunlight were extinguished outside Angel finally managed to fall asleep, hoping to wake up tomorrow and that all this was just a nightmare. Chapter 2: Blood.Angel could not sleep much, the discomfort he felt only allowed him to lose consciousness at times, by the time the sun began to peek over the horizon and its light entered through the windows of the cabin Angel had had what, according to him, had been the worst night of his life. Even though the headache was almost gone along with the ringing in his ears he still felt the pressure on his chest, he didn't even try to get up, he just lay there on the couch for hours. It was the sound of light knocking on the cabin door that finally forced him to raise his head, his eyes were heavy and the sunlight hurt him, for a moment he thought about ignoring the knocking and waiting for whoever it was to simply leave, but the knocking only continued in short intervals, they were soft knocks, so much so that, had the cabin not been in complete silence, Angel was sure he wouldn't even have been able to hear them. Reluctantly he finally got to his feet, shuffling his hooves in the direction of the front door, passing once more in front of the large mirror. Angel looked at his reflection again and found that Fluttershy's body looked haggard, her mane and tail were messy and somewhat dirty with carrot remnants, as well as her fur, her eyes were sunken and with huge dark circles under them which gave her a terrible look. Despite this all Angel could think about was how uncomfortable the long hair over his shoulders and the tail trailing behind him felt. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fluttershy's parents were worried, yesterday they had received the news that their daughter had suffered a terrible loss with the death of her bunny and, according to what they had been told, she was not well. They had decided to leave immediately to visit her, traveling all night to get to Ponyville early, now both old pegasus were very tired, but they decided to ignore that fact in order to focus on giving comfort to their daughter, after all, they knew how sensitive and empathic she was, they couldn't let her go through this alone. Receiving no response again after knocking on the door, Mr. Shy cleared his throat and spoke in a low tone as he knocked again. “Fluttershy, sweetie, it's your mother and I, we came to see you, could you please open up for us...” At that moment the door was rudely ajar, something that slightly startled both pegasus. “Yes? what do you want?” said Angel abruptly, it took him a moment to realize that they were indeed Fluttershy's parents. Suddenly nervousness took over him, after all they were the pegasus' family, surely they must know her very well, it was more likely that they deduced that something was wrong, at that idea Angel's mind was filled again with doubts and fear, what was he supposed to do now? he couldn't just throw them out, it would be too suspicious, so what to do? Both parents exchanged worried glances, Fluttershy looked very disheveled, dirty and had tied her hair in a rough bun on her head, also her look seemed absent and somewhat strange. “Hey Fluttershy love are you all right?” asked Mrs. Shy with a worried tone in her voice. Angel finally reacted, he wasn't to look suspicious, he had to find a way to subtly get rid of them.... “Ehhh...yes, yes mother, I'm fine” Angel forced a smile smudged with carrot remnants. “Ehhh well honey...” began Mr. Shy ”We, we knew what happened to your bunny Angel and well...” “We wanted to come see you honey, just to see if you needed anything” Mrs. Shy completed the sentence. Angel gritted his teeth, of course that's what they came for, suddenly his life seemed to have become very important to all the ponies in Equestria, hypocrites, this was a simple cheesy formality, one that Fluttershy would have put up with feigning sympathy or maybe even genuinely appreciating it, but to him it was all a bad joke and more so considering his current situation, slowly he could start to feel the anger building up in his stomach. “Honey, do you think...we can come in to...join you for a while?” asked Mr. Shy. The comment snapped Angel out of her reverie, her jaw relaxed and she refocused on the yellow pegasus' progenitors. “Oh ehh ehh I...” he started to say, still undecided on how to proceed ”I don't know, you know...I'm still very...sad yes, very sad and I really don't feel like seeing anyone.” Both parents cringed at their daughter's obvious discomfort, for a moment they thought about withdrawing and giving her her space, but if Fluttershy had taught them anything it was to be more assertive when the situation called for it, and just now they were sure that their daughter needed a shoulder to cry and vent on, so, finally, it was Mrs. Shy who came up with a way to insist in a polite but firm way. “At least let us join you for breakfast honey, if you want to be alone after that your father and I will understand.” “Yes, your mother and I just want to make sure you are okay” continued Mr. Shy. Angel didn't know what to do, he thought about being more aggressive with his stance of staying alone but that could put him in an even more complicated situation, that far outweighs anything that could go wrong if he would just let the pegasus stay for a while, finally and holding the anger inside he answered with resignation. “Well, I guess they can stay...just for a while.” ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Sitting in the living room, silence reigned, the atmosphere was tense and Fluttershy's parents could notice how the, normally noisy and full of life, cabin was empty. “Ahem Fluttershy honey...” finally said Mr. Shy ”Where are all your animals?” “They're all in the sanctuary” Angel replied dryly, the animals had been his main concern as they knew about the body swap and knew that Fluttershy had died, that was the reason why none of them wanted to stay in the hut, he was worried that they would tell on him but it quickly dawned on him that no pony besides Fluttershy had the ability to understand animals, so even if they try to say something, no one would be able to understand them. “Oh and... how are things going with your sanctuary honey?” asked Mrs. Shy smiling nervously. “Well there are animals and they take care of them there” another curt reply, Angel thought, if he could make them uncomfortable enough they would go away and leave him alone. Silence fell again, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the clock hanging on the wall. Fluttershy's parents didn't quite know how to proceed, their daughter seemed completely reluctant to hold a conversation and her attitude had gone from strange to downright rude, again it was Mrs. Shy who thought of a way to try and cheer up her daughter. “What do you say we make some tea and accompany it with nice cookies?” she exclaimed quietly. “Oh, that's a wonderful idea...!” quickly reacted her husband supporting her in her plan ”Is that okay with you Fluttershy?” Angel forced a smile while in his mind he could only curse, he didn't remember Fluttershy's parents being so resilient, that only made him irritate himself even more, but it wasn't only that, there was something in the way they talked to him that made him feel extremely uncomfortable, he still couldn't identify what but it certainly got worse every time they opened their mouths to refer to him. “Sure...!” she replied still maintaining her smile ”Cookies and tea that sounds...great!” At her daughter's affirmative Mrs. Shy wasted no time and dashed into the kitchen in a recovered mood followed closely by her husband and finally Angel who just stood at the entrance to the room, watching. She watched as the mother of the pegasus skillfully using her wings, took the box of matches, taking one out and lighting it to subsequently light the small iron stove, while the father went through the drawers, finding a small pot, filling it with the water Fluttershy stored and placing it on the fire. “Fluttershy honey...” Once again the fur on the back of Angel's neck bristled at Mistress Shy's call, there it was again, that twinge that irritated her so much, even without knowing what exactly caused it, she couldn't help but get lost in her thoughts to find out. “Do you still have those delicious shortbread cookies?” The mare's tone had become casual in an attempt to reduce the tense atmosphere, she believed it might help her daughter get distracted and perhaps open up more to talk to them. Receiving no response she turned to see Fluttershy who had her face fixed in the corner of the room and her gaze was trembling. “Fluttershy...?” asked his mother as he approached her. The resolution hit him like an out of control cart, there it was, the reason for his discomfort, he couldn't believe it had taken him so long to realize something so crucial, being called by Fluttershy's name, was what made him feel so bad. Noticing the mare approaching him in his peripheral vision, Angel reacted by giving a small jump backwards, pulling away abruptly. “Ah? yes! I, I don't know, I think there's a bottle in the pantry...” exclaimed Angel startling Mistress Shy before turning around and heading for the stairs ”Could you excuse me for a moment...I need to check something in my room...” As Angel walked away up the stairs leaving both parents alone, they turned to look at each other worriedly. “She doesn't look well love...” began Mrs. Shy ”I know we were told that the death of her rabbit had affected her but I've never seen her like this...” “Give it time...” Replied Mr. Shy “That rabbit was his whole life, we can't expect him to make it up overnight.” “Yeah...you may be right” “The best thing we can do is to be with her and support her in whatever she needs, you'll see how in time she'll come back to herself” and with that, both ponies went back to their work of preparing breakfast. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel abruptly entered Fluttershy's room closing the door behind him and collapsing against it, in his head a conflict was starting to hammer, adding to the endless confusing and chaotic thoughts that already adorned his mind. The ringing in his ears and his headache returned, all this while the pressure in his chest became a little more present, his breathing became irregular and sweat covered him little by little Why did it bother him so much? After all, that was the name by which the body he found himself occupying was known, that was what he now had to get used to being called, he had to make peace with that idea and fast. His discomfort was significantly reduced at that, if he really wanted to impersonate Fluttershy he had to do his part, ignoring the pain in his head and chest he tried to get up to go back downstairs but his legs didn't seem to agree with his mind's decision, clumsily he tried to stand up and immediately stumbled, staggering across the room until he impacted face first against one of the wooden furniture, causing a loud clatter and alarming the pegasus on the floor below. Quickly both parents ran upstairs, rushing down the hallway and bursting into the room. Seeing their daughter lying on the floor their fear increased, quickly approaching and calling out worriedly. “Fluttershy!!! Honey, are you all right!” Said Mrs. Shy. “What happened to you, did you hurt yourself?!” asked Mr. Shy. Angel only let out a moan of pain in response, the blow hadn't been too hard but it still stunned him, this combined with the unexplained weakness in his legs convinced him that it would be best to stay on the ground. At this the concern of both pegasus increased even more, thinking that possibly their daughter was badly hurt, quickly Lord Shy lunged towards Angel, holding him between his hooves and turning towards him. “Oh my Celestia!!!” he exclaimed as he noticed how his daughter's forehead was bleeding due to a cut just above her eye ‘Honey get a first aid kit, she's bleeding!’ he said to Mrs. Shy who quickly left the room back downstairs. “Fluttershy! Honey don't go to sleep! Your mother and I will take you to the hospital...!” Receiving no answer Mr. Shy raised his voice and continued calling his daughter “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy please answer!” “STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!” Angel stood up abruptly, pushing Mr. Shy to the other side of the room just at the moment when Mrs. Shy was returning with Fluttershy's small first aid kit. “Fluttershy what's wrong?” asked the stallion, still worried but also intimidated by his daughter's sudden outburst. “WHAT'S WRONG!!! WHAT'S WRONG IS THAT I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR DAUGHTER TURNED OUT TO BE SO WEAK, WITH SUCH MEDIOCRE PARENTS LIKE YOU I'M NOT SURPRISED AT ALL!!!” Both pegasus were left with their mouths open, it wasn't just Fluttershy's attitude itself, which was already shocking in itself, but rather the fact that every single one of her words seemed to be said from the deepest and most absolute contempt. Never, in his entire life, not even in the last few years when his daughter became more assertive, had he been even minimally close to such a violent tone, both of them didn't know what to do or say so they just stood there, petrified right where they were while his daughter continued with her attack. “AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOUR WEAKNESS IS EVEN MORE MISERABLE THAN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BECAUSE AT LEAST SHE WAS ABLE TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH HER LIFE, YOU COULDN'T EVEN FIX HER VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER USELESS BROTHER AND FUCKING MOTHER I'D LIKE TO SAY I WISH YOU HAD DIED INSTEAD OF HER, BUT THAT'S A GREAT IRONY BECAUSE IF IT HAD BEEN LIKE THAT NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVEN NOTICED!!!” Despite the strangeness in Fluttershy's way of speaking her parents seemed not to notice, they were too busy sobbing and crying profusely, they couldn't believe that their daughter, whom they had raised with so much affection and love was insulting and cursing them so horribly, it was as if she wasn't herself. Both parents hugged each other and let themselves fall on the floor while crying uncontrollably, but they didn't even have a moment to process what had just happened since Angel continued, although with her voice at a lower volume due to her tiredness “What's the matter, don't Mom and Dad have anything to say anymore!” To that last question was added a haughty and mocking tone, one that shrinks the hearts of both pegasus who couldn't answer “THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” shouted Angel at the top of his lungs. The parents couldn't take it anymore and ran out of Fluttershy's room, Angel could hear them running down the stairs and then out the door, leaving it open, he could feel how little by little the anger was leaving his thoughts, collapsing back on the floor panting from the effort. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel woke up several hours later in the same position in which he had fallen, he could feel a tingling in one of his hind legs as he tried to get up, his leg had fallen asleep because he had fallen on it when he passed out and now it hurt. Barely managing to crawl onto the bed and lay on it looking up at the ceiling, her mind slowly began to fill with memories of what had happened. He suddenly felt bad for yelling at Fluttershy's parents like that, after all they didn't deserve to be treated like that just because it didn't feel right, he had crossed a line and maybe he should ...No, it wasn't his fault. It was theirs, after all he wanted to be alone, he had told them he wasn't feeling well, they should have listened to him and not forced him to let them in, and on top of that they came in only to treat him as if nothing had happened, as if it was just an ordinary day How dare they do that when a horrible tragedy had just happened? they were insensitive. Thinking about it calmed Angel down, he had done the right thing, it was about time someone told those ponies their truths, he had just been a little rude in communicating with them. Her thoughts were interrupted when a pang in her brain shook her up and down, her headache was back, as was the pressure in her chest, which hadn't even gone away in the first place, Angel brought one of her hooves to her face to stroke her temple, in an attempt to reduce the stabbing pain, when she felt the dried blood on her face. He quickly got up from the bed and walked to the small round mirror of the room that hung on the wall, noticing again the discomfort when he saw his own reflection, even so he ignored it and inspected the wound, it had already crusted a while ago but still left the entire right side of his face stained with dried blood. Angel admired the stain deeply and for a long time, trying to discern if what he had felt before had been real or just an impression caused by adrenaline. Unsure of the answer and wanting to remove all doubt, he walked in the direction of the piece of furniture he had bumped into, opened the top drawer and found what he was looking for, all of Fluttershy's knitting material was there, all her stamens, her little frames with beautiful embroidery and, what interested him most, her needles. He quickly picked one up with his hoof and held it in front of his face, watching the edge closely and questioning whether it was really a good idea. Finally, drawn by an almost childlike curiosity, Angel brought the needle close to his other hoof, held it steady and gave a quick, deep jab into his skin. The pain was short-lived and intense, making him close his eyes for a second, when he opened them again he found what he expected, a small trickle of blood slowly trickling down as it stained his fur, he watched as it slowly reached his elbow and began to drip slowly to the floor of the room. Angel didn't know why but now he was sure of what he had felt before, somehow both the freshly opened hole in his skin and the blood gushing from it had managed, if only for a single moment, to relieve both the pain in his head and the pressure in his chest. Chapter 3: Nightmares.Angel hopped happily across a large open field, he could feel the grass against his fluffy fur and the soft breeze on his long ears, the little bunny felt extremely happy, that feeling of freedom made his heart pound and his mind fly free, he took another leap forward and suddenly something pulled him back violently. He felt as if something was closing around his neck, suffocating him, he panicked and shook violently trying to get away from the pull, placing his paws on his neck trying to release the invisible knot that little by little was stealing his air, he tried to scream for help but from his mouth only a choked animal screech came out and, before he knew it the pull began to drag him backwards. He could feel his back tearing and bleeding from the friction with the ground, he desperately tried to cling to the grass to stop the pull but suddenly all the green around him seemed to disappear, being replaced by nothing but dry dirt and sharp rocks, as he tried to hold on the small nails of his paws came off, causing him horrible pain and making his blood loss more prominent. Angel felt he was about to lose consciousness, his vision was getting more and more blurred, when finally, the pulling seemed to stop, he looked up and thought he saw a figure standing over him, he couldn't recognize it, his eyes, now covered with tears, reduced even more his already impaired vision, he could no longer breathe no matter how hard he tried to fill his lungs and his struggling gradually weakened until it became intermittent spasms. The figure bent down towards him, bringing her face close to his and just as Angle let out his last breath before fading into the darkness the features of Fluttershy's disappointed face appeared in front of him. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel almost jumped out of bed in terror, gasping and coughing violently trying to catch his breath, the awakening was so abrupt that some vomit shot out of his mouth and stained the fur on his chin and neck. The pain in his head and the pressure in his chest were unbearable, in panic Angel groped with his hoof in search of the pincushion he had placed on the bedside table, taking three needles and sticking them hard into his flank, the pain immediately calmed the discomfort he felt and he was finally able to pull himself together, being able to control his breathing and collapsing back into the mattress and sheets. Still panting and sweating profusely he covered his face with his other hoof, wiping the tears that had formed on his face, this was already a whole week of nights full of nightmares, Angel felt frustrated, no matter how much he tried to relax, meditate or take medicine to sleep well simply nothing had worked, he simply woke up terrified in the middle of the night without being able to sleep again. He lay there with his face covered for a long while until he was finally able to breathe normally again, then he finally dared to remove his hoof and open his eyes, deep inside he wished that when he saw himself his old body would be there, white, small and adorable, but the disappointment came almost as fast as the thought. He could see the dirty, yellowish fur of his pegasus body, in conjunction with some of the long pink mane that blocked his view, Angel violently pushed the loose strands away, he really hated that mane, in doing so he could see that his two front hooves were full of bruises from all the needles he had been sticking himself with after discovering that they helped with his head and chest pain, The marks were unpleasant to look at, blackened by dried blood and marking some of the swollen veins and giving them an unhealthy appearance, his hind legs didn't look much different except that, in this case, most of the bruising was concentrated on the upper limbs and on his flanks. The cutie mark of three butterflies was bruised, deformed by the amount of wounds in the process of healing and all the dried blood stains on the fur, Angel didn't mind this, after all seeing that mark carved on his body only made him feel more miserable. The room was in complete disarray, there were scraps of food strewn all over the floor, as well as clothes piled in piles and the furniture drawers with the contents of them strewn everywhere, the mirror on the wall was completely smashed, the shards of bloodstained glass sparkled with the faint glow of the stars coming through the windows which were also broken, everything gave off an unpleasant smell between urine, vomit and dried blood, a smell that would have made any creature with a functional nose recoil but for Angel that had stopped mattering several days ago. He just stared at the ceiling, period in his thoughts, every now and then the pain in his head or chest would throb harder, at this he would just take the needles again and stick them in the same paw, over and over again for hours. Finally, when he had just completely risen above the horizon the sound of his gut growling for food broke his cycle of unwanted and self-inflicted pain, these last few days hunger and the urge to defecate was the only thing that got Angel out of bed, dragging his hooves and down the stairs, across the living room to the kitchen. The rest of the cabin was in no better shape than the main room, all the furniture was in disarray and almost every item had found a new home on the floor, also any and all mirrors or reflective surfaces had been destroyed leaving the room full of broken glass and twisted metal. Angel had to fly to dodge the avalanche of stuff, he had been practicing how to do it and, although he still had trouble keeping his balance, at least now he didn't have to touch the ground. He went into the kitchen, which was completely ransacked, searching through the cupboards for anything he could put in his mouth, he looked up and down, from one side to the other, but even the jar of the horrible butter cookies was completely empty. He let out a cry of irritation, he had finally run out of food and that could only mean one thing, he had to get out of the house. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ He didn't even try to look presentable, he went out just as he had woken up, the only things he did have with him were Fluttershy's old saddlebags and a handful of needles under his wing, he had tied his tail and mane so tightly and in such tight buns that it even hurt him, but he certainly preferred that to having to trip over the excessively cumbersome amount of hair once again. The day was sunny and very beautiful, the birds were singing happily and all the ponies were doing their day with a smile, Angel couldn't be more irritated, he could understand perfectly the songs of the birds, their corny tune made his eye twitch, by the time he reached the village, the pain had already made him stick the needles several times, he made sure to press hard the wing on the open wounds to prevent the blood from dripping. Without much consideration he walked in the direction of the town market, his stomach growled non-stop which caused him even more headache, he could notice as he walked how his presence attracted a few glances, the ponies that saw him passing by were extremely worried when they saw his appearance and felt the smell emanating from the pegasus' body, some even thought to approach to ask if everything was okay but when they noticed the unpleasantly hostile expression on his face they simply looked away and continued with their day. Finally he arrived at his destination, the stalls of fruits, flowers and various items were spread along the main street, the place was crowded, with many ponies attending to their mid-morning shopping, before the image Angel had to take a moment to relax. “Alright, just get in, buy carrots, and get out” he said to himself as he let out a sigh and walked into the avalanche of ponies. Luckily for him, due to the hustle and bustle of most, his presence seemed to be completely unnoticed, every now and then he would hear a pony ask if anyone else could sense the bad smell but, in the face of this Angel would just walk away quickly before they could identify him. He finally arrived at the stall where Fluttershy used to buy him the best carrots, attended by a yellow mare whose name Angel couldn't remember, there was a huge line in front of his stall, at least thirty ponies waiting patiently for their turn. Angel couldn't help but let out a snort at this, the last thing she wanted now was to have to stand still in one place, but, before even considering the option of looking for another less crowded stall Carrot Top noticed the presence of her pegasus friend. “Oh Fluttershy! How nice to see you!” the mare exclaimed happily, giving him an effusive hoof wave. Angel for a moment thought about ignoring her, mostly because her calling him by that name had given him a twinge of headache, but upon further analysis of the situation he realized that it might be too conspicuous not to reciprocate the greeting. Forcing a smile and walking cautiously towards her he finally answered her. “Hello .... .how...how are you...?” Carrot Top then noticed the deplorable state Fluttershy was in, she didn't want to be rude but she really looked awful, as if she hadn't been groomed in days, she quickly noticed the bruises on her paws and flanks. “Oh my Celestia! Fluttershy are you okay!!!” Angel's eye twitched again at the mention of the name, still he restrained his urge to yell at the mare, responding as best he could. “What? oh this...?” Angel lifted one of his bruised hooves “It's nothing serious, it's just...well...” he hadn't really thought of a plausible excuse or explanation for his injuries “My cabin got swarmed by...mosquitoes...!” he finally exclaimed “Yes! Huge mosquitoes...” “Oh, I see and umm...you feel okay? You look a bit, sick...” “Oh I'm perfectly fine, I just came for some carrots...” Hearing the reason why Carrot Top couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, she knew that very recently her friend had lost her pet Angel after a tragic accident at her sanctuary, she suddenly felt somewhat embarrassed for having greeted her so effusively, Fluttershy must still be very sad, for sure that was the reason for her disheveled appearance, and her acting in retrospect was very insensitive. “Oh I, I'm sorry Fluttershy, I haven't presented you with my condolences for the death of your bunny...” Angel felt anger building up in his stomach once again, this mare wouldn't even deign to remember his fucking name calling him “bunny”, he put all his strength to keep from exploding and kept the forced smile on his face. “Oh don't worry, just, if it's no bother, I'd like the carrots...” “Oh yeah sure, just let me pack them for you...” at which point the elderly pony who was all the way to the front of the line noisily cleared his throat. “Ahem! excuse me, but I was being served before that smelly pony arrived” the old man's tone was annoyed and he was clearly irritated. Carrot Top then turned and apologized nervously. “Oh I'm so sorry sir, I'll be with you in a second...” the mare turned to Fluttershy ”I'm so sorry Fluttershy, just let me finish tending to him and I'll give you your carrots.” Angel didn't say anything, he just stood there gritting his teeth as the mare heads to the other side of the stall and started helping the pony, he thought it was no big deal, that in a minute he'd have what he came for and be on his way, but then he could see how the old man pulled out a huge shopping list and started dictating it ridiculously slow. His stomach growled violently again, this was ridiculous, that damn old man was doing it on purpose, he just wanted some damn carrots, was that too much to ask for?. It was at that moment that Angel noticed that, just on the other side of the baradel stall he was in, was the basket of carrots, he thought about it for a second, maybe it was a bad idea, but in the end he said to himself. “I'm going to buy them anyway.” So he took a carrot and devoured it in just two bites, then took another which just as well disappeared as quickly as the first, and then another, and another, and another. By the time Carrot top finally finished tending to the old man he noticed, with an incredulous look, that Fluttershy had devoured more than half of the entire basket of carrots. “Fluttershy! What are you doing!” Angel answered her disinterestedly, still with a mouthful of carrots. “I was hungry, and I told you I wanted carrots...” “But...but you didn't even pay me for them!” “Just because I ate them doesn't mean I don't plan to pay you, I just decided to get a little ahead of the impending transaction” Angel let out a shrill belch, smearing Carrot Top's face with bits of carrot. The mare couldn't believe this, Fluttershy's attitude was extremely unpleasant, she could understand that to some extent but, there was no need to be so indecent, angrily and wiping the dirt from her face Carrot Top exclaimed. “Well..in that case, I'd like you to pay me for all the carrots you've already eaten and leave, right now!” “Fine...have it your way...” said Angel irritably as he dug a hoof into the saddlebag trying to find money, but there was nothing. Puzzled he intensified the movement inside the bag but met with the same result, it was empty Did he forget to take money before leaving the hut. “Well Fluttershy? I'm waiting” said Carrot Top visibly angry. Angel didn't know what to do, now he had put himself in a complicated situation, although, after all what did it matter? it was only a few coins and he could pay for them another time, it wasn't as if he had missed something important. “I seem to have forgotten the money in my cabin, you'll have to excuse me but I can't pay you now, but don't worry, when I come back for more carrots I'm sure I won't forget...” At that moment Angel started walking away from the stall. Carrot Top couldn't believe what was happening, Fluttershy was trying to steal from her face and the worst thing is that she didn't seem the least bit sorry for what she did, quickly the mare came out of her stall and stood in front of the pegasus who looked at her confused. “Wait a second! How dare you do this to me Fluttershy!!! I thought we were friends...” “We were?” asked Angel sincerely confused, he didn't remember this mare and Fluttershy sharing much time together. Carrot Top let out a gasp, she couldn't believe her friend was being so selfish and rude, she had no right, now even more angry and red in the face the mare yelled. “Well I did consider you my friend! But if we really aren't then you'll have no problem paying now everything you owe me!” The shouting began to attract the attention of the surrounding ponies who were approaching curiously, noticing this Angel realized that the situation was quickly getting out of control, he had to do something to get out of this. “Well, I would gladly do it but...” he stammered nervously ”As I told you I don't have the money...” “Well, in that case, it seems to me that we're going to have to resign with the relevant authorities Fluttershy, because this thing you're doing right now is, in essence, theft!” Angel was now worried, he couldn't go to the local guard, things didn't end well if he did he was sure, he started to quickly think of a way to escape from this, he looked around him, at the crowd of ponies that now surrounded him, there was no way out, he could try to fly but that wouldn't guarantee his escape and even if he managed to do that, these ponies knew where he lived, they would come looking for him. Just as Carrot Top was about to demand his money again a flash of blue landed right in front of her, Rainbow Dash extended her hoof in which was a small bag of coins and offered it to the mare. “I'll pay for it” exclaimed the pegasus determined. Carrot Top then with a frown took the bag and pulled out the coins, counting them warily. “There's still money missing...” he said with a serious look on his face. Rainbow Dash let out a sigh and took out a few more coins, handing them over as well, once the payment was complete Carrot Top gave Rainbow a look of disgust. “You can tell Fluttershy that as of today she is forbidden to come near my store and it will remain that way until she offers me a proper apology” offended the mare walked back to her stall, entering and returning to attend to her customers. “Fluttershy what were you thinking...?” Rainbow started to say as she turned to see her friend, surprised not to find her there, she looked in all directions trying to find her until she finally caught up with her, she saw her walking away almost at the exit of the market, the pegasus then took off from the ground at high speed heading towards her friend. Angel sighed in relief, he had narrowly escaped, he was grateful for the intervention of the blue pegasus and slipped away as soon as he saw an opportunity, now he just had to go back to the cabin and this horrible day will be quickly forgotten, but at that moment he heard a voice right behind him. “Fluttershy! Wait!” Angel pretends not to hear and just hurried the step but quickly Rainbow Dash stood in front of him, blocking his way. “Fluttershy what's wrong? What happened back there?” Rainbow was worried seeing her friend's state, she really looked really bad. “Uh no..it was nothing, just a little misunderstanding with the price of carrots...” she answered quickly avoiding looking her in the eyes and dodging the to keep moving forward, but her attempt was immediately stopped when the pegasus moved in front of her again. “And are you okay?” Rainbow was trying to search Fluttershy's gaze but Fluttershy was just staring at the ground. “Yes, of course I'm fine why wouldn't I be?” she replied now already somewhat annoyed. “Well it's just that you look...I'll be honest, you look really bad, have you been sleeping well? and what's staining your fur...?” Rainbow Dash tried to touch her friend with one of her hooves but she quickly pulled away. “No! It's nothing, it's just...I've been kind of sad these days” Angel struggled to keep calm, she just had to get rid of it and she could finally get home. “But are you sure you're feeling okay, because if you're sick we could go see Twilight or Zecora...” The mention of the zebra's name elicited contempt from Angel, after all she was the one most to blame for the horrible situation she was in, she quickly responded without thinking under her breath. “Don't mention that bitch...” “What did you say?” asked Rainbow intrigued. “Nothing! Nothing, I didn't say anything... “Angel paused as she tried to get going again but Rainbow Dash didn't move ”Listen...Rainbow, I'm actually feeling kind of tired and I just want to go home, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me in...” “Oh, sure, of course...” Rainbow turned away and Fluttershy resumed her walk briskly, walking away little by little while the pegasus just watched her, now she was really worried, her friend looked erratic and distant, she didn't know that the death of her bunny could affect her to that extent, she thought about what would be the best plan of action to help her, she couldn't think of anything very elaborate, she thought she could discuss it with Twilight later but just now, at least she could think of something that she thought would cheer Fluttershy up a little. Angel was walking at a hurried pace, he could almost see the exit of the village leading to his cabin now, this had been a horribly stressful day but deep down he was proud that, for the first time, he hadn't lost control, he thought it was a good sign that he was finally getting used to his new life, maybe, in the long run, he could finally establish a proper routine, act more like Fluttershy and finally stop feeling so physically bad. His thoughts were interrupted when Rainbow Dash's voice came again, he turned to see the blue pegasus walking beside him calmly. “What are you doing here again?” she asked sharply. Rainbow ignored the irritated tone in her friend's voice and responded by smiling at her. “Well, I thought I'd walk you home, so you don't have to walk all the way by yourself.” Angel felt ridiculously angry at the stupid grin the pegasus had on her face, he didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to be near him, after all, not once, did Rainbow Dash deign to visit the cabin in the whole week he had been locked up. Still she didn't want to throw away her victory of today, so she simply grunted and kept walking, with the blue pegasus following just a couple of steps behind her. All along the way Rainbow Dash tried to strike up a conversation with Fluttershy, but no matter how many topics she brought up, the yellow pegasus just didn't seem to feel like talking. “Hey and how are things going at the shelter?” “No one from there has come to bother me so I guess it's okay?” “Oh I see...and how have your other animals been...?” “I don't know, none of them have wanted to come back.” “Ah...and have you knitted anything new recently?” “No, I don't know how to knit” In the end Rainbow just fell silent, walking in silence until they finally reached Fluttershy's cottage, Angel stopped just far enough away so that the blue pegasus wouldn't notice the broken windows or the furniture thrown into the garden, clearing her throat exaggeratedly and speaking in a fake friendly tone. “Well...we're already here, you've already accompanied me, to my house, which is here...” Rainbow took the unsubtle hint and scratched the back of her neck before replying. “Sure...hey, are you sure you don't want me to stay for a while, we could do something together...” “Something like what?” asked Angel trying to maintain a smile. “I don't know, we could bake some shortbread cookies together, I know they're your favorite...” Angel couldn't help but grimace at the thought of those disgusting cookies, noticing this Rainbow quickly thought of something else. “Or, we could go swimming in the river, like when we were foals...” Angel then thought he finally understood the reason for this, the reason for the inordinate kindness of the blue pegasus today, to him it was no secret the particular tastes Rainbow Dash had, in fact, by this point, the whole town had heard at least one story concerning the pegasus' Sapphic adventures, and her reputation as a heartthrob, but Angel also knew that, at some point in the past, Rainbow Dash had been in love with Fluttershy How did he know? Fluttershy had told him, told him about the time Rainbow had declared her feelings to him and how she had rejected her because she didn't feel the same way. He came to the conclusion that all this was a dirty trick, a dirty and ill-intentioned ruse on Rainbow Dash's part to take advantage of what she believed was her friend, devastated and vulnerable by the death of her bunny. “Oh I'm sure you'd like that wouldn't you..?!” The sudden change in Fluttershy's attitude took Rainbow by surprise. “What...what are you talking about..?” she started to say, but was interrupted. “That's what you want isn't it? For the two of us to be alone, wet and together in a private place so you can take advantage of me?!!!” “No Fluttershy...of course not...” replied Rainbow extremely confused ”I'm just trying to cheer you up...why are you being like this?” “Oh right...the big Rainbow Dash, the lesbian who goes around from vagina to vagina doesn't want to take advantage of her childhood friend who she was in love with since they were foals...!” Rainbow then blushed profusely, she didn't understand why this attack towards her person, she just wanted to help and Fluttershy was attacking her with her own private feelings she had shared with her, finally she replied annoyed. “Hey! That's not true! Why the hell are you bringing that up now!!!?” “Because, I can't believe you're so disgusting, after all the horrible things that happened you come here like it's nothing and try to do your crap!!!” “I just wanted to cheer you up because you were sad about the death of your rabbit!” “And what the fuck do you know about how I feel?!!!!!” Rainbow was surprised, never in her life had she ever heard Fluttershy scream this loud, it was so powerful she could almost hear her friend's throat tearing from the effort. “You have no fucking idea how I feel!!! Don't you want to come here and tell me what you think is best for me, only I know what's best for me!!!” At that moment out of anger Angel opened his wings and the needles fell to the ground right in front of Rainbow, who was startled to notice how each and every one of them were almost completely stained with blood. “Fluttershy... what is that..?” “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER TO YOU?!!!! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S BETTER FOR ME RIGHT NOW, YOU FILTHY TOMBOY WHORE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!” Rainbow Dash, for the first time in her life, felt intimidated from her friend Fluttershy, the kindest and shyest pegasus she had ever met in her life, the beautiful mare she had fallen in love with and whom she had learned to love more like a little sister, now he could not recognize her, she looked like an animal full of rage and hate that uncontrollably vociferated a caterwaul of insults and personal attacks, finally, tears began to flow from the pegasus' eyes, tears that she tried unsuccessfully to hide, speaking with a broken voice. “I...I'm sorry Fluttershy, I didn't know you thought so badly of me...” and without further ado Rainbow took flight and flew away. Angel then finally managed to calm down, panting as the anger faded he could feel once again the pain in his head and chest, this time even stronger, he quickly picked up the needles from the ground and, even though they were already covered with dirt, he stuck them in again without thinking, feeling the immediate relief. He let out a sigh as he finally managed to relax completely and turned around in the direction of the hut, as he walked once again the guilt was present. Had he misunderstood Rainbow's intentions, maybe he wanted to cheer him up after all? But, that didn't matter, he had told her that he wanted to go home and made it very clear that he didn't enjoy her company, besides he couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she might try to do something with him, after all you never know what to expect from promiscuous mares like her, this wasn't his fault. As soon as he entered the cabin he felt exhaustion fall upon him, he threw the empty saddlebag to some random place in the room and heavily walked in the direction of the stairs, in a moment he stumbled and staggered to one side, suddenly feeling a terrible pain in one of his front hooves, he instinctively pulled away and fell face first to the floor, hitting his back against the leg of a piece of furniture which made him let out a high pitched scream, it took him a moment to recover before he finally noticed what had caused the initial pain. By accident he had stepped on one of the sections of the floor littered with broken glass, some of these had dug deep into the base of his hoof, causing large cuts that bled profusely, for a moment Angel cursed himself for not cleaning even that section of the floor, but quickly came to his senses as he noticed that this new level of pain had alleviated the discomfort he was feeling much better, he let out a long sigh at being able to think clearly without the headache bothering him and breathe without the pressure in his chest irritating him, this gave him an idea, perhaps, if tonight he left the shards of glass where they were, the relief caused might finally allow him to fall asleep peacefully, this thought made him smile slightly, he really needed a good night's rest, perhaps then, finally, everything would feel better in the morning. Walking on three legs carefully, Angel dodged the few remaining pieces of furniture and climbed the stairs with enthusiasm, at least this day would end on a positive note. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Meanwhile Rainbow Dash was flying at full speed, trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing in the wind, no matter how much she thought about what had just happened she couldn't see any sense in it, why did Fluttershy act like that? She understood that maybe she was a little upset about Angel's death, but that didn't justify insulting her like that at all, she didn't know what to believe anymore, she felt angry, sad and devastated, but in a moment a fleeting thought crossed her mind. It was true, Fluttershy would never do something like that, in normal circumstances, but this situation exceeded all the parameters of normality, Fluttershy had asked for a loved one very precious to her, a companion who had accompanied her for years, this must have been something so strong that the grief must be destroying her friend, maybe she had acted this way with her because she felt resentful because none of her friends went to visit her or comfort her during all this time, they all believed that the best thing would be to give her her space but what if they had been wrong? What if what they should have done was to be closer to Fluttershy and not farther away? Rainbow Dash stopped in her tracks, yes, that had to be it, her friend felt terribly lonely in her grief and that was why she was acting so strange, she had to do something to change that, she had to help Fluttershy feel better, but, from what she had seen it would not be an easy task, she would certainly need help, a lot of help. Chapter 4: Skin.The cut on his paw didn't help as Angel thought, this time he couldn't even fall asleep, every time he closed his eyes and his mind drifted away little by little Fluttershy's face appeared in front of him, staring at him, he could see her mouth moving non-stop, but he couldn't hear her voice. Now resigned, Angel was curled up in one of the corners of the room, covered by a thick sheet, he was absentmindedly playing with his mane with one of his hooves, giving sudden tugs every now and then and pulling out whole locks, which he then just let fall to the floor, he had his gaze lost somewhere on the floor and one of his back hooves was hitting the floor over and over again, His headache was now unbearable, so was the pressure in his chest, no matter how many needles he stuck deep into the flesh or how many pieces of glass he used to tear his sides, at best he only managed to relieve himself for a minute before the agony hit him again like an avalanche. Suddenly nostalgic memories came to his mind, longing added to his discomfort making him lose himself even more in his own mind. He saw the first time he arrived at Fluttershy's hut, just a little bunny orphaned and left to his own devices, picked up by a beautiful person who only knew kindness. she brought him home in a little shoebox, he could remember how scared he was while inside the box, and he also remembered how all that fear vanished the moment he could appreciate for the first time this sanctuary, the kind look and the sweet smile of his best friend when she offered him the first carrot. “Don't worry little angel, I'll take care of you.....” Distant words blurred in the increasingly shaky gardens of Angel's memory, but well that young Fluttershy could have been right beside him, as he heard them loud and clear ringing in his ears. Angel then stood up abruptly, he didn't want this, he wasn't going to be part of the sick games of his own mind. “It's not my fucking fault!” he screamed as he staggered across the room, stepping on his lacerated hoof and causing blood to drain from him. He was thankful for every twinge of pain that caused him to move as they pulled his thoughts away from anything else, he quickly slid out of the room, the door was now ripped off its hinges, pushed out and dangling from just a screw, Angel remembered how he had been ramming it the night before when the rage of not being able to sleep made him call for control. The cabin was now in a worse state than before, dirt accumulated in small mounds in the corners while debris and cracks in the walls remained perpetually still, except for the ones Angel moved as he went. He stumbled his way to the kitchen, a few strands of his tail and mane shed on the way while behind him a prominent trail of blood was marked on the wood, once he reached his destination he groped with his hoof for what was left of the first aid kit, grabbing a small roll of bandages which he proceeded to use to cover as many wounds as he could. Unfortunately, the small amount of bandages only allowed him to partially cover his most prominent wounds, for the rest he could only awkwardly clean himself with one of the kitchen rags, barely stopping the bleeding and leaving almost his entire body stained a sole red color that gradually began to turn a dark brown. Angel sighed in relief, feeling how the bandages tight to his injured body made everything hurt a little more, feeling the slight attenuation of his discomfort, he closed his eyes for a moment as he felt some weakness but in that instant Fluttershy's face appeared again, Angel couldn't be sure but, every time he saw her her face seemed a little sadder. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Five mares were walking down the path that led to Fluttershy's cabin, Twilight was walking in the lead followed by Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, their gait was determined, shrouded in an overwhelming silence, that is of course until Twilight broke it. “I still can't believe Fluttershy said those things Rainbow, Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?” “I swear, she...just snapped from one second to the next, I thought my company would help her feel better but ...then she was so cruel...” “Well dear, it's not that we don't believe you, it's just that doesn't sound like Fluttershy at all, I don't think I've ever in life seen her as upset as you describe her...” Rarity said encouraging the pace enough to walk beside the blue pegasus. “Maybe, she's still feeling devastated about Angel's death...” started Applejack saying “That wasn't sadness, I assure you, that was pure rage, and what's worse, there was no sign of regret on her part for the things she said to me...” interrupted Rainbow. “Sadness and mourning can trigger a lot of very extreme emotions, I'm sure Fluttershy didn't mean to hurt your feelings, she must be suffering a lot...” said Twilight. “But don't worry Rainbow!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed “That's the reason why we're going to see her right this very moment, if what she needs is to feel better, nothing like her best friends in the whole world, not to mention the delicious carrot cake I brought for her!” “Carrot, really?” asked Applejack raising an eyebrow. “Well, Rainbow Dash said she found her buying carrots at the market and didn't take any in the end, it's accurate to assume she wanted to make a carrot cake to honor angel” said Pinkie as she pulled a small orange tinged cake out of her mane. The conversation stopped when the friends noticed that Twilight had stood still, right at the top of the hill that overlooked the yellow pegasus's hut, and they were surprised when they advanced to stand next to her, only to freeze and realize why. Fluttershy's cabin was destroyed, even more than the previous time, apart from the blown out windows and the furniture on the lawn, now they could see big holes in the walls and pieces of furniture inserted into the walls from the inside, all the windows were completely covered with wood and, in general, it looked as if a tornado had swept through the once sweet home. The five friends stood in silence, stunned by the terrifying sight before them, none of them knew what to think, but in a moment they came to the same resolution, exchanging anxious glances and thinking that the worst might have happened. The next second they were running at full speed the missing stretch between them and the hut, even before they reached the entrance door, which surprisingly remained intact, the worried friends were already shouting Fluttershy's name. Twilight tried to open the door with her magic but it was perfectly locked. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Are you all right?! It's us, your friends!” she knocked on the door loudly and repeatedly without receiving any response. They all waited with anxious anticipation, but soon realized that there was no point, if Fluttershy was inside, she couldn't open the door for them, or couldn't she hear them? Rainbow Dash took off, flying around the outside of the whole house, checking up and down, it didn't take her more than a couple of seconds, when she returned to the ground found from the others, the pegasus exclaimed in a worried voice. “There's no other entrance, it's completely sealed!” “What do we do, what do we do!” asked Rarity in desperation. “Applejack, break down the door...” exclaimed Twilight suddenly, looking at the cowgirl. Applejack hesitated for a moment, looking Twilight in the eyes as if asking if she was serious, but the alicorn's own gaze answered before her words did. At this the earth pony quickly got into position in front of the door, readying her hind legs to launch a mighty blow, she looked once more at Twilight for corroboration, to which the violet mare only nodded firmly. Applejack threw a powerful kick, but was surprised not to feel the wood of the door at the distance she expected to feel it, in fact, there was no impact at all, she looked up only to see all her friends with their mouths open and pale, the farmer turned quickly finding that the door had opened, and there she was, Fluttershy was standing in the doorway, staring at them, luckily, far enough away so that the kick hadn't hit her. Unfortunately being able to see her friend did nothing but make her worry turn to hysteria, Fluttershy looked as if she had been beaten up by a group of thugs, her body was completely bruised, injured beyond what should be possible. Now her body was stained and lacerated, anyone who saw it would think it was a yellow zebra with red stripes, bits of skin hung from her sides and front hooves, the product of several deep cuts Angel made with the help of the broken glass, there were needles buried in her flesh, so deep that to remove them would require magic and her mane and tail now exhibited quite noticeable patches, leaving part of his head bald and reddened from the tugging, his mouth was also bleeding, as due to one of the blows that occurred while whipping himself against the walls one of his teeth comes loose, swelling his cheek, the bandages only cover a tiny percentage of the total open and still bleeding wounds, staining himself little by little red as well. “Fluttershy!!!” they all shouted in unison, not knowing what else to do, they wanted to approach her but were stopped by the pegasus' expressionless gaze and the words she answered. “What the fuck do you want?” This puzzled them even more, abruptly breaking off their growing hysteria, Flluttershy had answered, so casually, coarse and raspy, but as if it was just another day, as if the presence of her friends and her own injured state, didn't matter to her one bit. No one could say anything for a moment, Fluttershy's condition seemed to be serious, but she didn't seem upset in the slightest, she didn't even cry, it wasn't until Twilight noticed the fact that the yellow pegasus was bleeding heavily that she stepped forward sharply. “Fluttershy by Celestia what happened to you!” Twilight tried to extend her hoof towards her friend but it was swiftly swatted away. “Don't touch me!” librarian of the second....” Twilight went cold at this, she thought Rainbow's words had been an exaggeration, but now that she had her in front of her she was beginning to question how serious the situation really was, even more so when, looking over Fluttershy's shoulder, she noticed the wreckage the house had become. “If you're just here to annoy me, you'd better leave....” the pegasus began to say as she prepared to close the door. But she was stopped dead in her tracks by Applejack, who put all her strength into reopening it to subsequently rush roughly into the enclosure. “Fluttershy!” the farm girl said firmly as she faced the pegasus ”You did all this!” Angel was tired, the shrill booming of the earth pony's voice only made his head hurt even more, this irritated him to no end, not lagging behind with his response. “And what the fuck does that matter to you?!” he exclaimed warily, despite this Applejack not backing down ”This is my fucking house and I can do whatever I want with it!” She could see the others come in behind the farm girl, making their way through the mess and broken glass, before Angel could say anything to object Applejack raised her voice again. “What about you, did you do that to yourself too!” Applejack was worried about the possible answer. “You know what peasant girl...” began Angel, inconvenienced by the irruption of her privacy ”Why don't you go back to your filthy farm and mind your own business?!” “Fluttershy what's wrong with you?” spoke Twilight with latent concern in her voice. “Darling this is terrible, if you are hurting yourself this is more serious than we thought...” continued Rarity. “Yes I...” began Rainbow ”If this is the result of us leaving you alone, we are sorry, we thought you might want some time alone after the death of...” “Shut the fuck up!!!” Angel grabbed a piece of one of the pieces of furniture and threw it through the air in the direction of the mares, who barely managed to dodge it. “Fluttershy!” exclaimed Applejack angrily ‘This is the last straw! We understand that you're sad about Angel's death but that's no reason to act crazy, nor is it a reason to attack your friends...!’ the earth pony couldn't continue with her wake-up call since she received a full blow to the face that sent her reeling backwards. Applejack looked up in surprise, she could feel the blood pooling inside her mouth, while Fluttershy remained standing in front of her, still with her hoof up, panting and sweating profusely, with every breath her wounds expelled a little more blood. “You.....are not...my friends.....you are just....the stuck-up bitches...who hung out with Fluttershy...none of you ever did the slightest thing to really understand her, you only had her by your side because you considered her your fucking pet, you didn't deserve her, nobody deserved her.... she only needed me...she was only supposed to be with me....” Angel staggered backwards, while the others exchanged glances, now of growing fear, the more time passed the more they realized that Fluttershy's physical and mental state was much worse than they had expected, what shocked them the most was the fact that the pegasus spoke in third person, she seemed completely disconnected from reality. No one knew what to do, now they feared not only for Fluttershy's well-being, but for their own, suddenly, the shattered enclosure seemed to shrink around them, girding itself about them like a bear trap, with all the furniture splintered and blood staining everywhere, finally, Twilight plucked up her courage, stepped forward and spoke in a soft tone. “Fluttershy...you're not well...” At that moment the pegasus let out a shrill and frantic laugh, it echoed throughout the place for a long moment, chilling the blood of the five mares who could only take a couple of steps back in surprise. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahaha.....Noooo, really??? What gave you the absurd idea that I'm not feeling well?” the sarcastic and extremely exaggerated tone did nothing but worry the mares even more ”Could it be my new decoration? Is it my new haircut, or my new coat style? I'm sorry, I really thought red looked better on me… ¡¡OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND KIND CREATURE ON EARTH HAS DIED, AND NONE OF YOU DAMN PONY SEEM TO CARE!!”” All of them were now trembling slightly in fear at Fluttershy's outburst, Twilight swallowed saliva trying to find words of comfort or calm for the pegasus, but she found herself completely blank minded, the situation was out of any considered parameter, it almost seemed that, the pegasus in front of her, was someone completely different. At that moment Twilight noticed that Fluttershy began to stagger, babbling unintelligibly as a large amount of blood, now, trickled down through the half-made bandages. “It's all your fault....you're all to blame...it's not my fault....” And at that moment, Angel collapsed, the exertion combined with the constant loss of blood and the lack of proper nourishment finally wiped him out, falling on the debris-strewn floor and losing consciousness, the last thing he could see and hear before his vision dimmed was the five mares approaching with frightened faces, as they screamed Fluttershy's name and tried to wake him up. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was snuggled between Fluttershy's hooves, both were lying on the grass right in the garden of the cottage, the smell of dewy flowers flooded the air and the clear sky rose prominently above them. The little rabbit was breathing with absolute peace and felt that he could stay there forever, suddenly Fluttershy's soft voice was heard over his head. “You know Angel? I know it's mean of me to say so but, out of all the creatures, you are the one I enjoy being with the most...” the pegasus let out a soft giggle. “I know...” replied Angel, who for the first time in a long time heard her old voice ‘I love spending time with you too....’ the rabbit snuggled even more, feeling the warmth of her friend's body. “But you know what would make this moment absolutely perfect Angel?” the pegasus asked, you could even feel how on her face there was a prominent smile as she said it. “What thing Fluttershy...?” asked Angel distractedly, about to fall asleep. “That you give me back what's mine....” suddenly Fluttershy's voice changed, becoming serious and somber. “Uh...what?” asked confused the rabbit, who tried to get up to see her friend's face but the firm grip of the pegasus' hooves on her small body didn't allow it. “My body Angel, I want it back...” The more she spoke the more distorted her voice became, Angel began to hyperventilate as she felt her friend slowly apply more and more force on him, threatening to crunch his fragile bones. “Agh...I, I can't, I don't know how to do it, you died, I...this can't be reversed....” “Then what!” asked Fluttershy in a furious tone ”Will you live the rest of your life pretending to be me, lying about my death until I am nothing but a vague absurd memory!!!!! Defiling my legacy by behaving like a selfish bitch?!!!” “This...this isn't my fault, I didn't cause this, it was Zecora giving us that stupid potion....” Angel felt as, once again, the air in his lungs was denied, all as his little body began to give in to the strength of Fluttershy's grip. “What about my parents, are they to blame too?!” “Yes!...if they hadn't raised you so weak ...everything would have been different, you would have known that the only one you should pay attention to was me, and we wouldn't have had to switch bodies in the first place....” “And so I'm supposed to assume that my friends are to blame too!” “They ... never understood you like I did, they never really cared about you, they didn't deserve you, I was the only one who deserved you....” Suddenly Fluttershy's grip loosened, her voice returned to normal and Angel could finally look up, finding the pegasus' tearful and devastated face. “Angel...I never thought you were such a despicable being...willing to delegate blame to all of Equestria so long as you wouldn't accept what you did....” “But I....” Angel hesitated “I didn't do anything!” “Exactly, you did nothing, you decided to take advantage of the situation and left me to my fate, knowing that a rabbit's body is fragile, and that I was likely to suffer some accident if I went on my own..... you did nothing but think of yourself as always....that's why I died...” “No, no, no, no NO! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!” “Yes you did know, but you didn't care...this is your fault Angel...” “NO!! NO NO SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!” Angel covered his ears but Fluttershy's sobs were still echoing inside his mind, he stood up suddenly and stumbled backwards, falling on the same sterile field full of sharp stones, when he looked up again he saw himself, his little rabbit body, hurt and full of dirt, like the last time he had seen him, this one was looking at him with eyes full of tears and an expression of disappointment and sadness. Angel stepped back, his breathing was ragged, drenched in sweat, feeling how the headache and the pressure in his chest were worse than ever before, it was as if his whole body was struggling to expel something from inside him, out of desperation Angel threw himself to the ground and covered his face, squeezing his forehead with all his strength trying to relieve the pain, just at that moment, he understood. The headache and the pressure in his chest, it wasn't an ordinary discomfort, no, after all, his soul was occupying a body that didn't belong to him, something that went against everything natural, and it was the body, Fluttershy's body that was rejecting him, fighting with all its might to expel him. At that moment Angel uncovered his face, noticing how he now had the yellow hooves of Fluttershy's body again, he looked up to meet her rabbit body again, now farther away from him but still staring. “I...I don't want this...” began Angel ”I don't want this torment...Please tell me there's a way to fix it!” The little rabbit did not respond, so Angel insisted again. “Please, there must be some way to bring you back, to change back!” Still no answer, now Fluttershy in Angel's body, slowly turned around and began to hop little hops moving even further away, at this he chased after her, running forward, but no matter how fast he went he couldn't seem to catch up with her. “Please don't go!!! I need you with me!!! I don't know what to do, please help me please!!!” At that moment, in the distance, Angel managed to make out something, a strange huge silhouette towering over the little rabbit and above it, a twisted form of branches that seemed to be made of crystal, adorned with six symbols that glowed in a dim glow, Angel didn't know what it was at first, but eventually he understood. Although he had never seen it in his life, he did remember what Fluttershy had told him, the tree that sprouted from the earth when Equestria needed it most, that gave birth to the palace of the princess of friendship, and, later, would become the home of the young six, the tree of harmony, at that moment, Angel woke up. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ He jumped up, out of breath and disoriented, he found himself on a hospital bed, in an empty room with a small fan hanging from the ceiling and slowly spinning, next to it was a small chest of drawers with a vase of flowers, which looked somewhat faded and through the wide window he could see how the sun was beginning to descend on the horizon. Angel inspected himself closely noticing that he could barely feel pain now, noticing how almost his entire body had been covered with white cotton bandages, he couldn't help but feel strange noticing that it resembled the fur he used to have on his old body, being able to feel a cramp in his stomach, he also realized that all of his remaining mane and tail had been shaved off completely, leaving him completely bald except for his fur. It took him a moment to finally process what had happened, recalling the very unpleasant sight, turning it over and over in his head. Had it really been real, had he really talked to Fluttershy, and more importantly, was there really a chance to fix this? Before he could even give her an answer to any of these questions he heard footsteps approaching down the hallway, for a brief moment he panicked, what should he do, he needed time to think, just when he heard the footsteps stop right in front of the door of his room, Angel decided to lie back on the bed, closing his eyes and partially covering himself with the sheet. A doctor opened the door to the room cautiously, inspecting the room for a moment, noticing the yellow pegasus still asleep on the bed, nodding slightly and closing the door again, starting to talk to the ponies in front of her in the hallway. “She's still sedated, I'm sorry I don't think she's going to wake up for a few hours...” “And she's going to be okay doctor..?” Twilight's worried voice was heard. “As far as her wounds are concerned, she will be fine, luckily none of them got infected, we removed the needles that were stuck in her, along with the shards of glass and cleaned everything properly...” “And, what about the other thing doctor, did you talk about his...mental health?” This time it was Rainbow who asked. “Well, if what I'm told is true, and she did that to herself, I'm afraid we might be dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder...” “And what in Celestia's name is that?” asked Applejack in confusion. “It is a mental disorder provoked as a reaction to an extremely unpleasant or violent event or situation, such as accidents, loss of loved ones or sexual assaults, they are usually the trigger for a multitude of erratic behaviors, such as extreme irritability or self-harm in the most severe cases... I couldn't say for sure as I would have to evaluate her, but from what I am told about her behavior and the state of her house, it could very well be that...” “And what can we do doctor... please tell us...” said Rarity trying to hold back her tears. “Well, as I tell you I would have to do a psychological evaluation to know exactly what state she is in, depending on how that evaluation turns out we will determine the steps to follow for her recovery... if it can be achieved...” “What do you mean?” asked Pinkie Pie who had a deflated mane and a devastated expression on her face. “I'll be honest with you...” the doctor sighed for a long time before continuing ”I've never seen anything like that in my life, someone capable of hurting himself in such a... grotesque and horrible way, besides, you told me that he spoke in third person, as if he wasn't present...” “Yes doctor, that's exactly how it was....” answered Twilight. “I won't give you false hopes, at best he may have to undergo a very rigorous psychiatric treatment, with medication and constant monitoring...” “And in the worst case scenario...?” the purple alicorn asked somewhat fearfully. The doctor took a moment to respond. “Well...in the worst case scenario she would have to be committed to a mental institution, where she will be kept sedated and under lock and key, until we can guarantee that she is stable enough not to represent a danger to others and to herself...” The words hit like an uncontrolled race, the five friends felt dizzy and with a slight ringing in their ears, there was a long silence, at this the doctor cleared her throat and scratched her head slightly. “Well...I, I, I'll leave you two to talk it over...” With that said she walked away down the hallway, getting lost as she rounded a corner. They all had to sit on one of the benches in the hallway to think about this, keeping their eyes straight ahead until Applejack raised her voice in distress. “I can't believe it...all this over the death of her rabbit?” “It's obvious that we underestimated what Angel's death meant to Fluttershy, it's obvious that it affected her more than any of us could have imagined...” Twilight replied. “We should have stayed with her...we shouldn't have left her alone in her cabin...” spoke Rainbow with a few tears streaming down her face. “I don't know what we were thinking...because we thought Fluttershy could get through something like mourning alone?” Rarity said with shame and regret in her voice. “If only I had thrown her a going away party for Angel, I'm sure she would have felt better....” Pinkie said dejectedly. “What are we going to do now?” asked Applejack looking at Twilight, being mimicked by the others. The alicorn was pensive, it had only been a few days since they buried the little rabbit, she didn't understand how Fluttershy had seen her sanity shaken in such a short time, she couldn't help but think that maybe there was something else at the bottom of this, but her thoughts were interrupted by the farm pony's questioning, turning to look at her and answering as best she could. “We will do what we should have done from the beginning, we will support Fluttershy by staying by her side, we will accompany her throughout her healing process and we will not stop reminding her that we will always be there for her...that's what good friends do...” They all nodded at the idea, it was true, they had to do what was best for Fluttershy, help her in everything she needed and ultimately take care of her now in her most vulnerable moment. “You're right Twilight...” started to say Applejack ‘We have to show Fluttershy that she's not alone, I could, as soon as she gets out of the hospital, repair her cabin, remodel it a bit so that when she comes back she'll feel at home again’ she exclaimed enthusiastically. “And me, I could make her a new outfit, one that will help her to...well, to cover her new scars, I'm sure it will help her to feel better, at least to not have to think about them...” said Rarity somewhat doubtful. “Me, I think I should be the one to spend more time with her...” started Rainbow ”I'm the one who has known her the longest and I think, out of me she feels the most betrayed...” Dash was downcast still remembering the string of insults that Fluttershy had dedicated to her. “I think I could take over some of the administrative duties at her sanctuary for a while, so there won't be any problems when she comes back to take care of the animals” Twilight said. “And me, I'll make sure she enjoys a different dessert every day, so she'll remember how much she enjoys good food!” exclaimed Pinkie regaining her smile. “Great girls, I'm sure that with our help Fluttershy will be able to pull through. and you know what would be an excellent first step?” Twilight paused waiting for all her friends to look at her curiously ”That the first thing Fluttershy would see when she wakes up would be the faces of her best friends...” They all agreed, getting up and walking towards the door of Fluttershy's room, despite everything when they arrived they couldn't help feeling nervous, as much as they wanted to deny it, they really had been frightened by the pegasus' behavior, they feared for her safety for an instant, and they didn't know if they could face her sincerely enough. Even so, and after a moment to take courage the five friends nodded and Twilight opened the door slowly, sighing and preparing a reassuring smile, but that intention was violently stopped, when noticing how the window of the room was open and the bed, completely empty. Chapter 5: Meat.Both the hospital staff and Fluttershy's friends roamed the streets of the town in a desperate search for who they believed to be Fluttershy, going door to door asking the neighboring ponies for help, little by little until suddenly it was an angry mob of hysterics looking everywhere for the pegasus. They checked every corner, every nook and cranny, but there was no trace, not even any clue as to where Fluttershy might have headed. “Oh my Celestia, what shall we do now?” asked Rarity in anguish as she shone her horn to illuminate an alleyway. “I have no idea...” began Twilight who with her magic was lifting carts, barrels and anything else where she thought her friend might be hiding ”All I know is that we must help Fluttershy...” “But how!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash who was returning from flying over the surroundings ”We don't even know where she went!” “She couldn't have gone far, you heard the doctor, her injuries were severe...I don't even understand how she could have gotten out of bed....” said Applejack. “There's something about this hide and seek game that I don't like...” began Pinkie Pie ”Fluttershy doesn't even like hide and seek...” “And she doesn't like absolute solitude either....” said Rarity. “Nor eating carrots like cookies...” Spoke Rainbow. “Nor destroying her house, or hurting herself...since Angel died it's almost as if...” said Applejack. “That's right...!” suddenly exclaimed Twilight drawing everyone's attention ”Fluttershy isn't trying to hide, she just wants to go home...” At that moment it dawned on them all, immediately starting to run in the direction of the pegasus hut on the outskirts of the city. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was sitting in front of Fluttershy's grave, with his eyes fixed on the ground, his bandages little by little were stained red by his newly opened wounds, noticing how the little cotton buds had already started to show through the soil, at that moment the doubt invaded him, wondering if he was really going to do this, why, because a dream told him so, what was the logic of it? It was stupid to think that Fluttershy could come back as if it was nothing, maybe he should just go away, forget about this or maybe, just maybe, he should consider letting it all end. After all, the pain he felt inside was unbearable, he didn't want to keep enduring the rejection of his friend's body towards his soul, he was so tired, he just wanted to rest. Just as that last thought was about to consume him there was a high pitched rumble, there was a flash of white behind him and then a voice was heard, irritating and shrill, with a touch of haughtiness, if Angel was paying attention, it wouldn't have taken him a second to guess who it was. Discord was at the main entrance of the hut, knocking on the door with exaggerated enthusiasm, the draconequus was dressed in an elf costume and carried on his back an impossible number of bags from which fantasy figures and posters protruded. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! I'm back from my trip to the ogres and dungeons convention, and I know it's late but I couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you all about it...!” Discord waited for a moment for his friend to respond, noticing the visible deterioration on the outside of the cabin, though instead of worrying he thought it was due to Fluttershy remodeling, making an hourglass appear on his wrist and getting impatient before exclaiming again and knocking on the door with even more impetus. “Hellowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Fluttershy, are you in there?” Angel didn't even deign to pay attention to him, deciding to stay perfectly still as his own mind turned over on itself, fracturing with every thought. It wasn't until Discord began to fly over the house, finding himself with every window blocked that he finally noticed that, the yellow pegasus, was sitting in the middle of his garden, her back to him and hunched over. “Oh! Fluttershy, there you are!” The draconequus flew in Angel's direction, who made no gesture to acknowledge Discord's presence, just remained silent. “What are you doing? Oh no, don't tell me tell me, you're meditating aren't you...?” Discord's buffoonish tone faltered for a second as he noticed the state of the pegasus, bruised, bald and covered in bandages that, at this point, were beginning to peel off due to the amount of blood saturating them, he also noticed how Fluttershy kept her gaze fixed on the small mound of earth from where the small sprouts were visible. “Oh...are you keeping your gaze fixed so that the flowers in your garden will grow faster...?” again, there was no answer ‘Fluttershy...are you all right?’ Discord shrank down, to a tiny size, standing on the mound of earth and looking directly into Fluttershy's eyes, to his strangeness the pegasus' gaze remained lost, as if looking beyond what was in front of her, or as if she was blind. Suddenly Discord's carefree attitude disappeared completely, his expression twisted into a worried grimace, as he saw how, in his friend's eyes, there was no trace of her. Discord didn't know what to do, he didn't understand what was going on, why Fluttershy's current state, his unhinged head was literally and figuratively spinning over itself trying to find some reason, he didn't know why, but something didn't feel right. “Fluttershy...” Discord, still small, waved his claw in front of the pegasus' face, he even dared to nip her nose lightly, nothing, not a single change. The draconequus then began to panic, it was like talking to a potato, and even a potato was more talkative, even more was the bewilderment when the first bandages began to fall from the pegasus' body, completely soaked with blood, then, in a moment of genius, Discord thought that, the reason why his friend was sad was because her plants don't grow fast enough, so, snapping his fingers as he stepped back, he suddenly made all the cotton buds grow into a lush layer of foliage on the mound of dirt. That finally made Angel react and he let out a horrible scream as he suddenly saw his vision completely saturated with white, falling backwards and feeling pain when his back hit the ground. “Jojojojojo there you are!” exclaimed Discord with relief ”I thought you went on a trip and didn't tell me...” Angel then was again overcome with a familiar emotion, seeing Discord's now normal sized” smiling and sneering face ignited his anger like never before, all the people who had been annoying so far, yes maybe Angel had misunderstood them, he may have even been wrong to yell at them but Discord, Discord the most despicable and ridiculous being, to whom for some reason Fluttershy opened the doors, not only of his home, if not more recently of his heart, was the ultimate exponent of what was wrong with everyone. Everyone was to blame, Discord, Fluttershy's stupid friends, the asshole at the carrot stand, the animals and the sanctuary staff, Zecora's bitch, they were all fucking to blame. Why couldn't everything have stayed the way it was before, just him and Fluttershy, the two of them, alone, against the world, so it was perfect, why couldn't everything just stay...perfect? He wasn't to blame, he wasn't to blame, how could he have been to blame, he who was always so kind and considerate to Fluttershy, yes, he demanded her to take care of him, but that was what he deserved, a perfect life where his every whim was instantly fulfilled, Fluttershy should take care of him only, she should only be with him, she belonged to him, and he gets her back, no matter what the cost. “You...” began Angel as a whisper. “Yes! Me!” exclaimed Discord with an explosion of confetti ”I've already arranged your flowers, now I suggest we go inside and make some tea so I can tell you about my journey, see it all started when...” “YOU!” Angel vociferated as he violently got up from the floor. “Emmm...yeah, me, you said that already...” replied Discord quizzically, thinking about what was bothering her friend now, again coming to a strange conclusion ”Oh I get it...you're upset because you got careless while staring at your flowers, don't worry I can fix that too...” A snap of the fingers and suddenly all of Angel's wounds closed, healing instantly, his fur regained its usual yellow glow and his mane and tail grew back instantly, Angel could barely process what had happened when Discord exclaimed again, making a huge mirror appear in front of him. “See? Fixed...” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Angel let out a nightmarish shriek at the sight of the reflection that, for so many days, he had avoided facing again, more so now that before him stood the living image of Fluttershy, as neat and radiant as he remembered her, he quickly jumped back, covering his face with his hooves, through the gaps left by the bandages that had fallen off he could see how her scars had become mere faint marks, hidden almost completely by new fur. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” He began tearing off huge chunks of mane and tail, pulling with all his might as he tore at the rest of his bandages, looking for some clear mark of his passage through that stolen body. Now Discord if he was scared, he thought for an instant that he had made a mistake with his transformation, accidentally turning Fluttershy into Anti Fluttershy, but no, it wasn't possible since not even Anti Fluttershy would act in such an erratic and visceral way, now he was convinced that something was terribly wrong. Without hardly thinking about it Discord did the only thing he could think of, he threw himself forward and tried to hug Fluttershy, but his attempt was stopped because, as soon as Angel realized the draconequus' intentions, he launched a powerful blow, one that hit Discord's face, who didn't expect something like that, and even though the blow didn't hurt the chaos lord in any way, it left him cold and without knowing what to think. Finally Angel stood up, focusing his thoughts again on Discord, his face full of tears and his new hair a half-ripped mess. “You're just a pathetic asshole...!!!” he began to say to Discord's incredulous gaze ”That's why no one else wanted you!!! And who else would if you're just a fucking asshole!!! Look at you you're just a ridiculously immature and fucking arrogant prick, I've never met anyone more miserable, inattentive and stupidly unbearable, ever in my entire fucking life!!!!! And I'll tell you what, I can't believe I ever even considered spreading my fucking legs for you because you would have never even aspired to be worthy!!!!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP I WANTED WITH YOU AND MOTHERFUCKER I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'LL DIE ALONE, BUT THAT'S THE BIGGEST JOKE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DIE AND ALL OF FUCKING EXISTENCE WILL FOREVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU!!!” He could feel the screams tearing at his throat, damaging it permanently, yet he didn't care, neither did he care to spit spit spit like a rabid dog or open his eyes so wide that they seemed to pop out of their sockets. Discord just remained silent, this wasn't funny anymore, he couldn't understand the joke behind this, and he really hoped it was a joke, just a cruel joke from a pony that, so far, had proved to be the kindest, calmest and most beautiful pony he had ever, in his thousands of years of life, met, and, without knowing very well why, Discord started to cry, his tears were multicolored and seemed to be made of water, gas and ice at the same time. And at this gesture of vulnerability never seen before, Angel could do nothing but let out a mocking laugh, accompanied by a new raspy voice. “What's the matter, don't you have anything to say...lord of chaos?” Discord, for the first time in his life, didn't move, didn't say anything and didn't react, he could only watch as Angel walked circuitously to the cotton mound, plunged his hooves into the earth violently and plucked a small half unraveled box from the earth, putting it under his wing and slowly walking away in the direction of the forest. The draconequus watched it slowly move away, until it was lost in the tree line, still devastated, finally the chaos lord snapped his fingers again and disappeared into thin air. Just in the next second, lights were seen approaching in the distance, the five friends approached the hut with Twilight in the lead. “Fluttershy!” called the alicorn as she knocked on the door ”We know you're in there, please come out, let us help you!” This time, receiving no answer, Twilight didn't stay expectant, flashing her horn, and with a powerful magical lightning bolt, knocked down the door of the hut in the blink of an eye. They quickly made their way into the hut, making their way through the mess and searching everywhere, it only took them a couple of minutes, even Rainbow Dash when they finished went outside looking for clues. Twilight was standing in front of what was once Fluttershy's perfectly tidy and clean room, now turned into a half-destroyed and smelly dump, the violet mare was really starting to ask herself serious questions in her thoughts about her pegasus friend's mental state, the level of degeneration her life had taken since the loss of her rabbit had her perplexed, it couldn't be due solely to Angel's death, there had to be something else, some other trigger, before she could come to a feasible conclusion Applejack's voice called to her from downstairs. “Twilight come quick, Rainbow found something!” Once outside Twilight could see what it was, there was a prominent pool of dried blood in the dirt next to where Angel had been buried, the mound of dirt and the previously intact cotton balls were now a shapeless empty hole, of the small box there was no trace. “But what the hell?” The alicorn asked incredulously. “Why would Fluttershy do something so ...horrible?” asked Rarity feeling sick to her stomach. “I don't know, this doesn't make sense anymore, maybe...maybe that doctor was right...” began Applejack ”Maybe, she doesn't know what she's doing anymore...” “Look!” suddenly exclaimed Pinkie. Turning in the direction the pink mare was pointing, noticing how the dirt from the destroyed grave swirled in one direction, as if someone had walked over it, creating a faint path adorned with tufts of light pink hair, a path that led into the Everfree Forest. “Rainbow, look for her...” commanded Twilight to the pegasus who didn't take a second to rise into the air and start flying over the treetops ”All the others, follow me.” Twilight was frightened, her logical and pragmatic mind would not allow her to see beyond the blunt facts in front of her, unfortunately these facts pointed to a terrible conclusion, her friend was losing herself, this thought slowly took hold of her as she flew deeper into the tree line. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault...” Angel repeated over and over again under his breath as he made his way through the undergrowth, he still remembered the occasion when Fluttershy took him to the two sisters' castle so he had a slight idea where to head, stumbling awkwardly from time to time his vision was partially blocked by a lock of her newly grown mane, making him irritated and causing him to tear that lock out with an angry yank, dropping it on the ground, creating a trail behind him without realizing it. He could feel the small box slowly crumbling under his wing, he tried to ignore the sensation of something cold and stiff brushing against his feathers, keeping his eyes straight ahead and his goal clear, finally, and after walking for what seemed like hours Angel reached his destination. Before him stood the imposing ruins of the once abandoned palace, he could see its silhouette illuminated by the glow of the moon, pausing only for a moment to appreciate the panorama before him, quickly, he set out down the dirt path that descended into the ravine at the side of the castle, vividly recalling the stories Fluttershy had told him, of the mythical cavern where the tree of harmony had sprouted. He walked torturously, he could feel the pressure in his chest as if an anvil was crushing him, if his stomach still had something inside Angel he was sure he would be vomiting at that moment, the headache had reached such an extent that his vision had been reduced until he could only see what was in front of him, the rest was darkness, the ringing in his ears did not allow him to hear even his own thoughts and every step felt as if his hooves were going to break under their own weight. For a moment he felt disoriented, the only thing he could see around him was rock and earth, he began to walk in circles in desperation, he could not find the cave, his breathing, already irregular, began to be shallow and frantic, a tide of thoughts was coming at him, invading him in all directions, memories of his former life, memories of Fluttershy, all the anger he had felt since her death and all those he had hurt, he remembered the faces of Fluttershy's parents, devastated and tearful, the faces of old friends bewildered and disappointed, why should he go through all that? He just wanted a little more attention, he just wanted, to show Fluttershy how much he needed her, he, he wanted Fluttershy to feel what he felt, he wanted her to experience that helplessness, that dependence, maybe so, she finally understood that nothing in this world mattered more than him. Angel stumbled on a rock, losing his balance and falling face to the ground, in an abrupt attempt to avoid the fall he shook his wings violently, causing the tender package he was carrying to fall and scatter all over the ground, despite this the attempt was useless and Angel crashed against the dry earth, so hard that he could feel his nose breaking from the impact. For an instant he thought about just staying there, it would be so simple, turning on his belly to see that, somehow, he was already in front of the entrance of the cave, but the sudden surprise was soon overshadowed by a terror that filled Angel with agony, as he noticed how, a few meters away from him, covered with earth, was his old body half decomposed, he could see how the bones already protruded from the dry flesh and how what used to be his face was deformed into a stretched grimace of skin and empty sockets. Angel couldn't help but let out a scream, pulling away as far as he could from the little corpse, which, due to Discord's magic, was sprouting roots with little cotton buds. “NO! NO! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!!!” He covered his face, he could feel as if his ribs were compressing in on themselves, as if every fiber of skin, muscle and every bone in his body was being squeezed in an attempt to get rid of him, he wasn't welcome, Fluttershy's body didn't want him, it knew who he was, and what he had done, Angel could only writhe on the floor in agony as the pressure only increased, until he finally managed to muster enough strength to speak. “Please...I'm here to fix it, .I...I came here because I want to fix it....” The pain didn't go away, but suddenly he could notice something beyond his vision, it was a sensation like no other, so powerful that it almost overcame the torment, Angel removed his hooves from his face, noticing that, although he couldn't see anything, that sensation was like a kind of tugging, like the one he had been experiencing in his nightmares,only this time's was gentle, like a caress, and at that moment ANgel knew, this was what he had come for, a chance to fix everything. Slowly, very slowly, she began to walk towards the cave, barely lifting the small corpse from the ground, little by little she went inside and advanced among the rocks and moss, deeper and deeper letting herself be surrounded by the shadows, and for the first time since Fluttershy's death, Angel felt absolutely nothing. There was no pain, no thoughts, not even the feeling of discomfort to which he had already got used to, it was like ceasing to exist, Angel took a big breath of air, only to corroborate that, indeed, he was still breathing, he simply let himself be carried away by the pull, he followed it until it stopped, in the deepest part of the cave. For an instant nothing happened, but the next moment, a light manifested itself, it was faint, barely perceptible, but Angel could see it, feel it and hear it, it was as if the light was crawling under his hooves, this hypothesis was proven the next moment when the earth opened, right in front of him, revealing something that, at first, he could not understand. It was as if a flower bud sprouted from the ground, but it was made of pure crystal, glowing in a pinkish hue that gradually illuminated everything around it, the bud stretched upwards slowly, Angel could only stand still watching the impossible spectacle before his eyes, seeing how the bud grew into a bud and how the bud gave way to a pink cotton flower. He opened his eyes, beyond what he ever thought possible, for an instant, the beauty of the plant made him forget everything, all the discomfort, all the helplessness, all the sadness, it was as if, before him, all the discord in the world had vanished in the blink of an eye. What happened next, however, would break something forever, inside Angel's soul, something in him would change, never to be seen again. Before his incredulous gaze, the light given off by the plant intensified and, impossibly, right in front of him, a transparent image of Fluttershy was projected in the air, exactly like the last memory Angel had of her, her fur a little dirty from the arduous morning she had in the sanctuary, her mane slightly disheveled due to how he himself had hung on it in an attempt to get her attention and her soft dark circles under her eyes, product of a bad night's sleep. On her face was reflected a sweet smile accompanied by the characteristic glow in the eyes of the pegasus, at this Angel could feel tears begin to run down his cheeks, she was as beautiful as he remembered her, but his appreciation and all his nostalgic thoughts, came crashing down when the ghostly projection before him opened her mouth to speak, triggering an event, which will determine the rise or fall from grace of the tortured soul of the rabbit. “Hello Angel, I'm so glad, to see you again.” Chapter 6: Soul.Rainbow Dash flew over the forest, very fast and back and forth, frantically searching for Fluttershy, her mind going even faster, filling her with catastrophic and horrible ideas about what could be happening to Fluttershy, she could feel the tears building up and blurring her vision little by little, brushing them aside with her hooves. In a moment the pegasus glimpsed movement in her peripheral vision, turning to glimpse the outskirts of the two sisters' castle from above, fleetingly noticing a silhouette crawling through the dirt, it took her a moment to realize that it was Fluttershy, without her bandages and with her fur recovered, the pegasus was so confused that for a second she thought she was hallucinating, but there was no doubt once she saw her friend walking towards the cave of the ancient enclosure of the tree of harmony. For an instant Rainbow considered the idea of going, flying right then and there and stopping her friend in whatever she was doing, but she surprised herself by running headlong into a wall of fear and uncertainty, not only because of the idea of what she might encounter if she decided to face it alone, but also because she didn't know what Fluttershy would be able to do in her current state. Faced with this the pegasus decided to turn around and look for the rest of her friends, she already knew where her friend was, so she would bring all the help she could, speeding up so much and so fast that a faint rumble echoed throughout the forest. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was beyond words, he was unable to define what it was he felt, it was as if all his emotions were mixed in a silent typhoon, but he could taste a mixture of deep relief and overwhelming terror, the direct sight of Fluttershy's reflection in front of him both hoped and disturbed him. It took him an agonizing minute to convince himself that this wasn't just another nightmare, checking his breathing and feeling his heartbeat, it was all real, it was happening, he really was going to be able to fix all of this. “Flu.....Fluttershy...” he finally said as a hoarse, choked whisper. “Yes Angel, I'm glad you came...” the smile on Fluttershy's face remained unchanging, her gaze was a mixture of nostalgia and melancholy that Angel could feel it digging into him ”And I also know why you're here...” “I...I...” He couldn't say anything, no matter how hard he tried, for a second Angel seemed to remember what it was like to be a voiceless rabbit. “And I see you're bringing your old body...” continued Fluttershy seeing the corpse's head sticking out between the feathers ”That may have been something extreme, but I understand that desperation didn't let you think...” Angel, not knowing why, began to laugh, at first as a simple hiss to himself but soon found himself laughing out loud uncontrollably, despite this Fluttershy didn't denote any gesture of concern or intrigue, waiting patiently for Angel's neurotic outburst to end. Oddly enough it was this very outburst that allowed Angel to finally break free from the physical block he was feeling, finally managing to form coherent words. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! sorry HAHAHA!!!.....I'm sorry, it's just...HAHAHA! you're here, I can't believe you're really here...” Angel took a couple of steps forward, letting himself be illuminated by the dim glow given off by the disembodied apparition “I hehe..for a second I thought I had lost my mind haha!...but you're real, not just a delirium brought on by pain..... you don't know the relief I feel...” At that moment Angel could notice how Fluttershy's smile seemed to wane just for a second, which made him nervous, the fragile relief and joy he felt threatened to shatter like a single piece of glass, which inevitably made him ask hurriedly. “What...what's wrong...if you're really here aren't you? You came back to help me didn't you...?” Fluttershy was silent for a moment, increasing Angel's tension, searching for the right words. “Yes Angel...” she finally answered ”Yes I am here, though not quite me, and yes, I have come to help you, but the quality of that help will depend entirely on you...” “What?” Angel began to tremble ”What do you mean, what do you mean, what do you mean you're not quite you, what do you mean you can't give me quality help, no! NO! NO! NO!!! you have to help me, that's why you're here, you must help me!” Fluttershy seemed to ignore the rising desperation in Angel's voice as she resumed her speaking, silencing his frantic ravings. “I am as bewildered as you are, but, such it seems, when I died that day, part of my spirit was drawn to this place, to the roots that once glowed with the strength of the elements of harmony...” “But...why, how?” interrupted Angel. “The element of kindness sensed my fear, my anguish, for leaving everyone behind, for abandoning everything I built, and more importantly, my concern for you...” Angel began to regain hope, if that was true, then his wish to fix everything could be a reality, everything could go back to how it was before, yes possibly Fluttershy on her return would have some explaining to do, but everything quickly resume its natural course, and more importantly, he would no longer have to endure and face this torment. “However...” suddenly said Fluttershy, interrupting Angel's thoughts ”There is no magic powerful enough on this earth to preserve the souls of the departed, whatever the remnant of my element did, I only keep an echo, a shadow, the mere memory of a wish too ephemeral and too strong...” “That...what does that mean?” she asked again, trying to keep her composure. Fluttershy again took a moment to answer. “I don't have much time left Angel, I used much of the magic of this place just to be able to bring you here, now my existence on this plane hangs by a thread, it's only a matter of time before I fade away like snow when spring comes...” “But...but, you said you were going to help me that's why you brought me here isn't it, so you could go back to your body and return me to mine...” Angel stretched his wings forward, holding the rabbit's body right in front of Fluttershy, in a pleading gesture “You can fix this can't you?” Due to the movement the carcass had already started to fall apart, one of its hind legs had detached and the stomachs had split open revealing half-decomposed guts and entrails, to Angel's horror Fluttershy gently shook her head. “I'm so sorry Angel, but as I told you, there is no power or magic in this world that can preserve a life already lost...” “THEN HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME!” Angel exploded in rage, yet Fluttershy didn't flinch “YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME, YOU WOULD FIX IT!!!” “What I said, was that I would give you my help, but that help depended entirely on your cooperation...” “AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!” Angel threw the little corpse angrily against the ground, it burst and scattered everywhere, staining the ground with dried blood ”YOU JUST BROUGHT ME HERE TO MOCK ME!!! YOU JUST WANT TO MOCK MY FUCKING MISERY!!! YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE REAL FLUTTERSHY!!!” “ANGEL!” The voice echoed and made the whole cave shudder, sending an icy pang through Angel's body, he could feel how his blood seemed to turn to ice, for the first time, since he had been trapped in that body, someone stood up to him. “What are you saying, how dare you even hint at something like that!” Fluttershy's voice was firm, but it didn't reflect any kind of anger or fury behind “After everything you've been through, and the people you've hurt, you still dare to yell at me, as if you can still demand something from me!” Angel just froze, unable to look away, though for a second he seemed to perceive the illumination of the cave dimming, giving way to the overwhelming darkness, suddenly the cold feeling dissipated and the brightness returned to normal after a moment of silence Fluttershy let out a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. “You..you don't even deserve to be helped, even when you had a chance to make things right, you just lied and were cruel to everyone...” “They...” began Angel as he again felt his voice returning ” They are to blame! They weren't able to see the loss they had suffered, they acted like it was nothing!” “And how exactly would I know what they had lost if you never told them?” interrupted Fluttershy, making Angel hesitate and stutter in his answer. “I uh...I didn't.... them They acted like my death didn't matter to them, to them I was just a stupid rabbit, they were more concerned with how you felt than mourning me!” “They were worried about me because they believed I was still alive, they were worried because they knew you meant a lot to me, again I'm telling you, if you expected a reaction more in line with how you felt why didn't you tell them?” “I...I.... They wouldn't have believed me!” “And why not? I'm sure if they went to Zecora she could have clarified what happened...” “That's another one, the damn zebra, she's to blame for all this, she gave us that fucking potion...!” “An option we both requested, we were both looking for a better way to understand each other...” “Yeah but ....She didn't tell us we'd switch bodies!” “No, she didn't, but she didn't need to, we both understood what had happened instantly, what was left was up to us, and you decided to be irresponsible and selfish...” “And if you knew that why the hell didn't you stop me!” “I had your body Angel, I was small, weak, helpless to the world around me, a feeling you were supposed to understand properly How exactly did you want me to stop you?” “I...I don't know, you, you went to see Zecora why didn't you ask her to fix it?” “She couldn't understand me Angel, no one could, she was trapped, just like you are now...” Fluttershy paused, her look suddenly reflected a deep distress and a slight touch of helplessness before continuing “I was so scared, I didn't know the limits of my new body and by the time I knew something was wrong, it was too late Do you have any idea, the panic and pain I experienced? I died, Angel, I was torn from this reality abruptly and prematurely, agonizing and unable to scream for help...” “I...I didn't want that to happen, I...I just wanted to teach you a lesson, I wanted you to see how horrible my life was without your care, without the life of luxury I deserved...” Angel saw an opportunity and was emboldened again, raising his voice “You had forgotten me! You cast me aside for filthy, stupid zoo animals! I accepted you having more pets when it was just your cabin because the wretches used to return to the filthy forest when they no longer needed you, but a sanctuary, those fuckers took advantage and took you away from me!” “Is that really what you think?” “Yes I do believe that, and I don't care what crap you say, the mistake was yours not mine, for trusting that zebra for having those stupid friends, for getting involved with a jerk who turns the sky into cotton candy, for having such mediocre parents and leading a life so full of responsibilities when the only thing you should care about was me! ME AND ONLY ME YOU HEAR ME, NOTHING ELSE IN THIS LIFE SHOULD HAVE MATTERED MORE TO YOU THAN ME, BUT YOU WANTED MORE, YOU WANTED TO ASPIRE TO GREATNESS WHEN YOU DIDN'T DESERVE IT, YOU WERE JUST A COWARDLY OPPORTUNIST WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS BETTER JUST FOR HANGING OUT WITH PONIES WHO WERE WORTH IT, YOU WERE MINE, YOU WERE MINE, ONLY MINE AND THEY ALL JUST TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!” There was silence for a long moment, Angel gasped catching his breath at the uneasy look of Fluttershy, who seemed extremely disturbed by the profligate profanity coming from the host of her former body, she let out another sigh and, to Angel's surprise, the faint glimmer of a tear fell down Fluttershy's transparent face, immediately applying Angel's blind fury which changed his face to one of disbelief. “Angel...I'm sorry...” She paused as he was suddenly extremely confused “I never realized all the damage I was doing to you by spoiling you like that, it's just that, you were my first pet, my first friend, before anyone else, you were there when I barely managed to get out of bed, when I could barely make myself noticed...” “What?” she asked as a whisper. “I guess I thought that if I didn't take enough care of you, you'd get away from me...” said Fluttershy, more to herself than to Angel ”I never thought that could make you bad, yes you got a little fussy but I figured that could be changed with time, I thought I could teach you to be better.... but I think I just got used to it...it wasn't until my life and perspective expanded that I realized how unhealthy it was for both of us, I think that's why I distanced myself over time, but you're right, I should have been direct and told you instead of just ignoring it and waiting for you to accept it...” Angel suddenly felt bewildered, he was expecting something, anything to contradict him, for Fluttershy to give rise to an argument with screaming and yelling, instead, before him he could see the stoic attitude of his caretaker deteriorating, filling with tears and turning her head to cover herself, it took him a long moment to finally pull himself together,take a step closer and speak doubtfully. “Fluttershy...” he extended a hoof, in an attempt to wipe the tears from the pegasus' face, but it did nothing but pass through as if there was nothing there, only for the next moment the light emitting from the crystal flower to dim just a little. The projection looked up slightly at the gesture, giving a new look, now of deep sadness. “Angel...” she said as she stood firmly before him again ”We're running out of time...” “What, no! No! Wait, there must be a way to fix this, I...I, I can find the princesses or Discord, they can save you! They can bring you back, I don't care if I...” “Angel...” interrupted Fluttershy ”I'm gone, there's nothing left to save...” “Then why did you bring me back!!! why did you say you could help me? If you can't come back then how are you going to help me?” “I brought you here to help you yes, with something you've been struggling with since my death, something that has haunted you day and night, and that, if you don't resolve, will haunt you for the rest of your, now, new life...your guilt.” Angel felt as if the whole weight of the world was falling on him, he felt his hooves weak and his lungs empty, sweat began to bead on his fur and his eyes widened enormously. “What, guilt, me?...I, no, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about, none of this is my fault...” “Angel don't you see? You may have lost me, but that, instead of limiting the time you have left forever has put a wonderful opportunity in front of you...” “What are you talking about?” “You have my body Angel, the healthy body of a young mare, you are no longer a helpless rabbit trapped in the constraints of your simple existence, you have the chance to start over, a new life, wherever and however you want...” “But...but what about your life? your responsibilities? your family and friends?...” “My life is over Angel, you have no obligation to them...or to me...” Angel didn't understand anything Why was this happening? Why was Fluttershy doing this to him? Was it all some kind of perverse game? What if it wasn't and he was being serious? “But...they would have to know...” “Yes Angel, you'll have some explaining to do, accept that, like me, you're partly to blame for what happened...” He still refused to accept it, he tried to repeat the same thing over and over again in his mind, that he wasn't to blame, but with every word that came out of Fluttershy's mouth the more that facade fell. “They will hate me...” he finally said. “Yes, maybe they do, maybe they won't forgive you, but maybe they understand...” “But, your body, it doesn't want me, it's been trying to expel me ever since I arrived...” “Are you sure about that?” Angel gave a very deep confused and distressed look, at the same time noticing that the twinge in his chest and headache were slowly returning. “My body has no will of its own Angel, it's just a shell, I think, the reason for your discomfort, is more because you don't feel worthy to inhabit my body, deep down, deep down in your soul, behind all that anger, there is a deep wound, full of sadness and regret...” Fluttershy paused, feeling how the magic that keeps her attached to this world was fading, looking carefully at Angel's confused face and reflecting before continuing “Angel, please don't get confused, it is not my intention to make you feel you have the obligation to live, after all, it is your life and you are free to do with it what you wish, I know you have suffered, and I won't lie to you, if you decide to stay here, the suffering and pain will continue to accompany you, maybe forever, of that I have no doubt.... and yet, I firmly believe that if you try, you can find a way to face it, overcome it and live...” Angel had begun to shed tears uncontrollably, he wanted to return to the anger, he wanted to let the anger push the sadness away, but it didn't come, there was no relief, just, and after so long, he allowed himself to feel. “But...but...” he finally said ”Why would I have to live? What would be my purpose?” “I'm sorry, that's for you to find out, I just hope that when you do...” Fluttershy gave him her beautiful smile again “That purpose will give you reason to smile...” At that moment, and to Angel's horror, Fluttershy's silhouette began to fade, little by little and even at an accelerated pace. “What? No, No No! What's wrong?” “Time's up...” said Fluttershy in a distant, intermittent voice. “No! No! No! No! Wait!” Angel stretched towards Fluttershy, trying to grab her with his hooves but they, again, went back through the ”Don't go please! Stay with me! It wasn't true all that I said, it WASN'T TRUE! I'm proud of the life you've built, how happy and radiant you've become, the friendships you've made and the love you've found! I'm sorry I was a burden, I'm sorry I was cruel to you, I'm sorry I made you feel like you were nothing! Take this body back, I don't care if I have to die in return, I don't care, you deserve this life more than I do, you deserve to walk again, to fly, to laugh, to smile...!” Angel sobbed uncontrollably, he couldn't breathe properly or do anything, he just watched helplessly as Fluttershy's silhouette became just a dull blur in the air, the crystal flower contracted back to the ground, withering away as the last vestiges of magic disappeared “Please...I need you, it wasn't true what I said, you don't belong to me...I belong to you...” “Angel...” a muffled whisper was heard ”You are a wonderful creature, go and live a good life...” And at these last words, the light in the cave went out. Author's Note What's left is up to you. Chapter 7: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Bad Ending).Twilight and her friends ran at full speed through the forest, following Rainbow, there were no words, no questions, just the sound of hooves crashing against the earth at high speed, so for a long stretch until they finally reached their destination, down the ravine and planted themselves outside the dark cave. They all stood for a long moment, not a sound came from inside the great entrance, so deafening was the silence, that all the other sounds of the forest were muffled. “These....” began Twilight feeling short of breath ”Are you sure she went in there?” “I checked...Fluttershy is in there...” replied Rainbow with the same distressed tone. They all exchanged glances, glances that it was hard to know what they reflected, none of them wanted to be the first to take the step, they didn't feel prepared for whatever awaited them, Twilight on her part was conflicted, as princess of friendship her duty was to give help and understanding, especially to one of her oldest friends, but she couldn't help feeling, deep in her mind, a feeling of uncertainty, of doubt, a not knowing that hadn't overwhelmed her since the first day she had arrived in Ponyville. “There's...” Twilight began to say, pushing that anguish out of her mind and focusing on what she considered the most important thing, helping Fluttershy ” We have to get inside...” At that very moment a scream full of pain and agony shook the air, one that cracked what little courage the five mares had managed to muster and made them tremble as if they were foals. This sent them into a state of panic and worry, far surpassing their initial fear, now in their hearts was the thought that, because of their hesitation and indecision, something horrible had happened to their friend. Almost immediately and without thinking they all rushed into the cave, stumbling over the rocks at the entrance while Twilight was shining her horn, the run didn't last long, as they soon found themselves against the bottom of the cave, and what before them loomed before them made them lose all hope. Fluttershy was shaking and crawling on the ground, screaming at the top of her lungs while crying and babbling nonsense words, she was staggering and stumbling over the rocks, hitting the ground again and again, she seemed to dig in the ground as if looking for something. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!” Fluttershy didn't seem to notice her friends' presence, circling over herself again and again. Twilight in horror took in the whole picture little by little, noticing Angel's scattered corpse all over the floor and that, with every step the pegasus took, it was getting more and more torn to pieces, as well as the peculiar appearance of the pegasus, which seemed to make no sense, considering how it looked the last time Twilight saw it, Fluttershy's outburst seemed endless, in a seemingly meaningless, desperate search. “Flu...Fluttershy...” said Twilight, in an incredible display of resilience and mettle, yet it was futile, the pegasus did not react to her words and just continued in her erratic actions. In an even more impressive show of courage, Rainbow Dash approached with trembling steps, until she was right in front of Fluttershy, then, she extended one of her hooves, very slowly, waiting for the pegasus to get close enough in one of her turns and finally, she placed it on her shoulder stopping her in her tracks. What happened next took less than a second, Fluttershy's wide-open gaze was fixed on Rainbow's fearful eyes, and the blue pegasus could see how those same eyes, full of despair and fear, deformed into a grimace of recalcitrant anger, letting out a shriek and lunging at Rainbow. Fluttershy knocked Rainbow to the ground and started punching her with all her might in the face, stomping her hooves so hard on one of her wings that a horrible cracking sound was audible, Rainbow Dash let out a scream that was quickly silenced when one of Fluttershy's blows fractured her jaw, at that moment a kick threw Fluttershy away from Rainbow, crashing her against one of the walls of the cave. Applejack had broken the paralysis that the shock had caused her and jumped forward without hesitation to protect the pegasus that now lay on the ground writhing in pain, they all followed her example and stood in front of Fluttershy, who soon stood up and looked back at them, giving them the same look of hatred. There were no words, none, no one had any more to say, they just got ready, and their wait wasn't long as Fluttershy, letting out another guttural scream rushed against all her friends at the same time, luckily, Applejack's strength combined with Twilight's magic was enough to subdue the pegasus against the ground, still Fluttershy didn't stop fighting with all her strength, flailing and letting out insults, tearing her throat even more. “NO!!! NO!!! WHORES, PIGS, ALL OF YOU, FUCKING WHORES, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT” At that moment Angel realized that he had fallen right next to the head of the corpse of his former body, the empty eyes of the rabbit's skull seemed to look directly at him, that darkness stuck in his soul that made him react, all the discomfort poured over him again and the agony, like no other, scraped to the very depths of his being, at that moment his insults and misuses were replaced by something else, pleas “KILL ME, JUST LET ME DIE, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE, I DON'T DESERVE THIS, I'M NOT TO BLAME, I'M NOT TO BE TO BLAME! !” At this, the others had nothing more to do, more to do than think, they could only exchange looks of horror while Fluttershy kept screaming and screaming until her voice died out. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Twilight walked heavily through the streets of Canterlot, the day was cloudy and a light drizzle had started, the alicorn cursed herself under her breath as she didn't want to have to return to Ponyville during a storm, but soon she felt stupid for worrying about something so insignificant, considering her reason for being there, she made her way through the crowded streets to a far part of the city center, to a huge white building in which she entered without looking at it. In a huge reception room a mare with white fur and blonde mane, tied in a bun behind her head and dressed in nurse's clothes, was reading some papers, reviewing and writing down data, it wasn't until she saw movement in the corner of her eye that she looked up, realizing that someone had entered the room, and not just any pony, none other than the princess of friendship. “Oh, Princess Twilight” exclaimed the mare with surprise ”I had forgotten you were coming to visit us today...” “Good afternoon Sweet Lemon, yes, I did manage to catch the morning train...did I arrive at a good time?” asked Twilight dejectedly. “Of course you did princess, we just provided you with your medicines, I will let the doctor know and he will be here in a moment, he will escort you to your room, in the meantime please have a seat.” Twilight nodded slightly and sat down on one of the benches in the reception area, waiting in silence, it wasn't long before a stallion dressed in a robe, mint colored fur and brown mane approached. “Princess Twilight...” he said bowing slightly ”If you would be so kind as to accompany me..” The two made their way down long white hallways, endless corridors filled with solid metal doors, some open, revealing ponies dressed in greenish blue garments inside, most looking lethargic and distracted, being checked by nurses and doctors. Twilight chose to ignore this, as well as the discomfort in her stomach, she tried to keep her eyes straight ahead and start a conversation with the doctor to take her mind off where she was. “How is she doctor?” she asked almost as a whisper. “Well, we've taken care of her as best we could princess, although it's still too early to decide if her condition is optimal or not...” the stallion paused as he turned a corner ”Maybe, if she had more positive encouragement, more visits from the rest of her loved ones...” “No one else wants to see her doctor...” interrupted Twilight ”At least not yet,,, everyone is still processing all this...” “I understand princess, it's something very difficult to assimilate, I've already seen cases like this, ponies that collapse, that lose themselves, that don't even know their own family...” the doctor paused as he noticed that his words might not be the right ones, changing his focus ”But don't worry, here we can guarantee a second chance to those ponies, a way to heal...” They both continued to make their way through the place, down stairs and around corners until they reached a secluded hallway deep in the compound, this one,unlike the others, was guarded by large nurse stallions, which walked back and forth monitoring the rooms, Twilight felt the sickness in her stomach worsen as she witnessed the hallway, she knew it would be in a guarded place but she expected such a miserable aura, she followed the doctor until about halfway down the hallway where he finally stopped, in front of a door exactly like all the others. “Did she say something?” asked Twilight suddenly, causing the doctor to look at her. “Well, no, not really, when she was brought here from the hospital we were informed that the damage to her vocal cords was quite serious, if she can still speak, she hasn't made any attempt to do so...” “Why did they put her down here, I thought you said they were striving to enact an optimal environment for recovery...” “That, princess, is because she has turned out to be one of the most troublesome patients we have ever had, in her first week on the upper levels she attacked a nurse with bites, bit off part of her face, she has also attempted suicide on several occasions, with pencils, spoons, she even tried to suffocate herself by eating her own hair, we tried our best to keep her calm but she seemed reluctant to any kind of support, so we had no choice but to put her in isolation, in a safe room so she cannot harm herself or any other pony.... At least until she proves herself willing to cooperate....” The doctor then stretched out his hoof, opening a small opening at the top of the door, allowing a view inside, Twilight, at the stallion's gesture for her to approach, swallowed saliva and took a big breath before stepping forward, peering inside, for a moment all she could see was the blinding white of the padded room illuminated by a light attached to the ceiling and protected by grids, but soon she noticed the grayish figure leaning against the wall of the room. Fluttershy had lost her characteristic yellow color, now her fur was a greenish-grayish notch of half-plucked tufts, which allowed to clearly see the scars from the wounds she had made, now dull marks on her skin, her fur and tail were almost nothing left, shaved and only allowing to see a couple of loose strands, she was dressed in a rough and very prominent straitjacket, which held both her front hooves and her wings firmly against her. Twilight couldn't help but let out a tear as she caught a glimpse of Fluttershy's face, dull and lackluster, she had her gaze lost somewhere in the room and her mouth half open. “For Celestia...but what did they do to her?” is all she could say. “I'm very sorry princess, but I assure you that all the measures taken are more than necessary, we tried to bury her without the straitjacket but she kept hitting herself over and over again, she knocked out almost all her teeth...” “And her mane?” “As I told you she tried to choke herself with her own hair, we thought that with the shirt would be enough but it was so long that she took it and pulled it straight out with her mouth...” “And the medicine?” “He wouldn't stop screaming either...” “But you said you didn't know if he still had a voice...:” “Well, rather than screams, actually a better way to call them would be screams, screeches that wake the other patients up at night and make them rowdy during the day, you will understand why we found it necessary to sedate her...” Twilight kept her gaze fixed on Fluttershy, she fought the thoughts that told her again and again that her friend was gone, that the kind shy pegasus she had once known was no longer there, she reflected on how things had degenerated so much and on the things she could have done herself to prevent them, be that as it may, it was too late now. “Princess Twilight...” began the doctor taking some papers out of his robe ”Princesses Celestia and Luna have already sent us the relevant documents, they asked me to tell you when I see you that they are willing to cover all the expenses for your friend's indefinite stay....” “No...” interrupted Twilight ”I will take care of the expenses...” “Are you sure princess? Some of the fees are somewhat high and the medications are quite particular...” The doctor asked, expectant for the answer. It took Twilight a moment to respond, still staring at the spectacle that her friend had become, still turning over the origin of it all, asking over and over again if Angel's death was the trigger or would there be something else. “It's the least I can do...” she finally said quietly. “Well, in that case you'll have to come with me, there are some documents we need you to sign...” “Yeah...sure...” Twilight finally stepped back and the doctor closed the small opening, they both stepped back and began the walk back, again in silence as the nurses continued their checks. Angel for his part was in despair, he tried to scream, to shout but his mind was lethargic and his body did not respond, although, he knew well, that even if his body was under his control, he could not speak, his voice had burned out and now he could not vocalize, he could see Twilight's face out of the corner of his eye, wishing with all his might he could tell her, she no longer cared what happened to her, what punishment they imposed on her, at that moment she would have given anything to be able to utter the words, the simple words that would end this torment, the simple words she would have wished to say from day one, the same words that now, would forever remain trapped in her useless throat “I am not Fluttershy”. Chapter 8: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Good Ending).Twilight and her friends ran at full speed through the forest, following Rainbow, there were no words, no questions, only the sound of hooves crashing against the earth at high speed, so for a long stretch until they finally reached their destination, down the ravine and planted themselves on the outside of the dark cave. They all stood for a long moment, not a sound came from inside the great entrance, so much was the deafening silence, that all other sounds of the forest were dulled. “These....” began Twilight feeling short of breath ”Are you sure she went in there?” “I checked...Fluttershy is in there...” replied Rainbow in the same distressed tone. They all exchanged glances, glances that it was hard to know what they reflected, none of them wanted to be the first to take the step, they didn't feel prepared for whatever awaited them, Twilight on her part was conflicted, as princess of friendship her duty was to give help and understanding, especially to one of her oldest friends, but she couldn't help feeling, deep in her mind, a feeling of uncertainty, of doubt, a not knowing that hadn't overwhelmed her since the first day she had arrived in Ponyville. “There's...” Twilight began to say, pushing that anguish out of her mind and focusing on what she considered the most important thing, helping Fluttershy ” We have to get inside...” They all made their way inside the cave, very carefully and very slowly, Twilight shone her horn very slightly, just enough to illuminate the path ahead of them, and soon, they were all at the end of the path. At first it was hard to make it out, but soon the familiar sound of crying echoed in their ears, it was faint and muffled, but it was undoubtedly the sound of Fluttershy crying, they only had to go a little further to find the silhouette of their friend sitting on the ground, with her back to them and hugging herself with her hooves, sobbing silently and apparently unaware of the presence of her friends. At that moment, and in a strange way, all the fear that the five mares carried with them, seemed to diminish, somehow, seeing their friend in such a vulnerable position, made them feel safer, even so they continued approaching cautiously, noticing how Fluttershy seemed to tremble and breathe shallowly, as if she was suffering a panic attack, rocking gently back and forth. Finally, Twilight gathered the courage to approach, reaching out her hoof and placing it gently on the yellow pegasus' shoulder. “Fluttershy...” Slowly Angel raised her head, turning slightly to realize that she was surrounded by Fluttershy's friends, the five mares were looking at her with concern and anguish, looks that turned to pity as they noticed her face completely soaked with tears, at this and feeling a lump in her throat Twilight continued. “Are you all right?” For the first time since Fluttershy's death, at this question Angel didn't feel pain, he didn't feel that pressure on his heart that gnawed him nor that headache that made him want to scream, he could taste the remnant of those sensations in the back of his mind, but he put all of himself to remember Fluttershy's words, putting himself before these, for the first time, he decided to be honest, not only with others, but also with himself, answering Twilight's sincere question with equally sincere words. “Yes I...the truth...no...” he said between sobs. Angel's soft words ended up breaking the tension of the atmosphere, now, for the five mares, the only thing before them was their friend, suffering and very sad, and, before anything else could happen, and to everyone's surprise, Twilight threw herself on Angel, giving him a strong hug. He didn't know how to react, he could feel the warmth of the alicorn, the softness of her touch against his body, realizing that it was the first time he felt something like that in his new skin, the others didn't take long to imitate the gesture, wrapping Angel in all directions, squeezing so hard that he thought his body would explode, but it didn't happen, and before he knew it, the others also began to cry, a long moment passed in which Angel didn't understand the reason for this, but he simply decided to stop thinking and just accept it, actively joining the embrace. It wasn't until the silence was broken that Angel realized it was time to tell the truth. “We're so sorry Fluttershy...” began Rainbow through tears. “We didn't mean to make you feel so lonely...” continued Applejack. “We just assumed that you would want time to mourn Angel's death, we know how much he meant to you...” Rarity said in a barely audible tone. “And we assumed you would come to us if you needed to, but we should have been here for you, we're really sorry...” continued Twilight. “You're the best friend one could ever wish for” exclaimed Pinkie crying her eyes out. Angel gritted his teeth, he was afraid, really afraid, the same fear that had kept him isolated and violent, but, thanks to the sweet gesture of pure love from those mares, his heart and breathing eased, his mind cleared and he could feel a strange courage break through his thoughts, shaking to finally free himself from the embrace and turning to face the five of them, taking a big breath of air and closing his eyes one last time. “No...I'm sorry, it's just...I think when I heard them talking about locking me up I think I felt panic and....no, that's not the real reason for all this, it's just, I was so afraid, I was afraid that, if I knew the truth, you, everyone, would hate me, disown me and impose the worst punishment on me, that's why I denied it for so long but the truth is...this is all my fault...” The friends are confused at Fluttershy's seemingly nonsensical speech, feeling again that pang of concern for their friend's mental health, so Twilight decided to clear all her doubts once and for all. “Fluttershy what are you talking about? We know Angel's death affected you a lot but...these last few days you haven't acted, well...like you Is something wrong?” Angel felt himself hyperventilating, doubts came over him again, he could still back out, he could still let it go, but he knew that no matter how much he managed to hold it in, it wouldn't end well for him. “No, I mean, yes...it's just that I...I, I'm not Fluttershy....and I have something very important to tell you...” Now if the mares didn't understand, what they were hearing was too bizarre, a madness in between, they looked for some hint of insanity in their friend's face but the only thing they could see was a sincere expression of regret, there was no malice or madness behind it, so, against all common sense, they all decided to keep silent and listen to whatever that pegasus had to tell them. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The following months were confusing even for Angel, there were arguments, fights, even Celestia and Luna were involved, there were debates, search for evidence, accusations and trials, in the end the conclusion was reached, that the details of the death of the element of kindness Fluttershy would never be revealed to anyone other than the princesses and the rest of the elements of harmony, but nevertheless her death would not be ignored. A funeral was held in the capital city, a fitting tribute to one of Equestria's bravest heroines, almost the entire kingdom showed up to pay their respects, including Fluttershy's family, whose sadness surpassed that of anyone else, even the lord of chaos, who from that day on, was never to be seen again haunting this kingdom or any other. The empty coffin, beautifully adorned with butterflies and flowers, was buried in the garden of the heroes of Canterlot, where the memory of the pegasus would rest forever, but not her ideals and dreams. Princess Twilight took charge of the sanctuary, keeping it under a perfect administration to allow it to continue operating and saving the lives of animals in need, as well as promoting a new policy of care for the caretakers, Rainbow Dash bought the old cabin and rebuilt it, in the end, she would end up moving there deciding to live the rest of her days taking care of the home of her best friend, Pinkie Pie established in Ponyville the Fluttershy's Commemoration Party, a celebration to be held once a year, Rarity was the main contributor to Twilight's initiative, contributing with generous donations and finding the most qualified ponies for the health care of pets and their owners, and Applejack, she simply limited herself to carry the memory of Fluttershy in her heart, never ever endangering the lives of innocent animals, not even the ones she once despised with all her might. As for the decision on what to do with those involved in Fluttershy's death, Zecora was banished from Equestria, even though his intentions were good, they were considered irresponsible and unethical, he should leave his home in Everfree Forest and return to his homeland, accompanied by Angel. The verdict surprised him at first, he expected to be locked up for the rest of his days or worse but no, the three princesses were understanding, understanding that his actions were nothing more than a simple whim, one perhaps born of malice but never of cruelty, after all, deep down, Angel loved Fluttershy, perhaps more than any pony could have ever imagined, and since he had confessed everything and had abided by the consequences he was granted forgiveness on the condition that he would never return to Equestria, all with the intention that his face would not be recognized and suspicions would arise. Angel accepted this condition and was soon ready to depart, leaving his former life behind. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was standing on a dock next to Zecora, both were waiting for the arrival of the afternoon boat that would take them to zebra territory, Zecora was wearing an intricate hay vest accompanied by a large hat of the same material, next to him was a huge amount of luggage, He had his head down and looked at the surf in silence, on the other hand Angel looked very different, his yellow fur had recovered its brightness, although this time its tone was a little paler, his scars had healed almost completely and now adorned his body with pink tones, his mane and tail had grown back but this time they had been cut giving him an elegant and somewhat misaligned style, Angel's face was full of peace and relief as a melancholic smile was displayed on his face, noticing that the zebra next to him seemed to be in decline he cleared his throat to speak. “Nervous about going home Zecora?” he spoke with a raspy voice due to the damage in his throat, similar to Fluttershy's but at the same time completely different. “I'm not going to lie to you little friend, my departure causes me great sadness, but I understand very well that this is my penance...” answered the zebra with a dejected tone. “Well, at least in your case it's a homecoming...I'm going into the unknown...” Angel let out a sigh. “Oh I for one am not worried, you are the most capable rabbit I ever saw” Zecora said looking up and giving a half hearted smile. “I'm not a rabbit anymore Zecora remember that, now I'm as fickle as the rest of the ponies, being capable won't be enough anymore...” “Maybe not that we could tell, but with me here, you know you'll always have somewhere to go.” “You, are you sure it's okay for me to stay with you?” she asked with some concern. “But of course, it's the least I can do, not helping a friend would be a very cruel thing to do...” Angel was happy to hear someone call him friend, however soon the guilt came back to him, feeling bad for the zebra, whose life he had harmed. “I'm so sorry Zecora, you wanted to help Fluttershy and me, and I just ruined your life...” “Oh dear Angel, for that you shouldn't apologize, after all it was me who put you in that fatal situation, for my messed up life you shouldn't be afraid, because I feel that now what is coming is going to smile on us and you are going to see it...” Zecora paused as she looked over Angel's shoulder, towards the port “Although perhaps, something you should do before starting your new existence, is to say goodbye to old friends before leaving...” Angel turned in the direction in which Zecora was looking and found himself surprised, before him were again Fluttershy's five closest friends, the same mares that helped him overcome his torment and feel better, all smiling and holding what seemed to be gifts. Heading towards them, dropping the small suitcase he zooted with his wing, he stopped in disbelief just a couple of steps away. “What are they all doing here? I thought they said if they came they'd attract attention...” “Well...” began Twilight ”We decided it was worth the risk.” “That's right!” exclaimed Applejack ”We couldn't let you leave without seeing us off properly...” It was the farm pony who stepped forward first, extending her hoof and offering Angel a huge blanket tied with a ribbon, this, despite being folded, revealed an intricate woven design in the shape of apples, Angel could also identify the very scent of fruit permeating the thick fabric. “It's in case your travels take you somewhere cold, it's hoof-woven by me so I assure you that you'll never have to mend it...” the farmer tapped him on the shoulder before turning away. Angel received the package, placing it on his back and feeling the mammoth weight, yet he struggled to hold it and maintain his smile. Next up was Pinkie Pie who, to no one's surprise handed Angel a huge basket full of muffins, adorned with a huge pink bow. “And this is so you don't go hungry on the way, zebra territory is a long way away and I already know how fast you get hungry, they're all made of, you guessed it, carrot!” “Thank you Pinkie Pie...” said Angel as he received a very tight hug from the pink pony that made him let the air out of his lungs. Next came Rarity, who handed over a small package wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper and adorned beautifully with jewels. “I...I know you probably don't like wearing dresses, so I made you something a little more practical, it's a thermal garment, it adapts to your body and will keep you cool or warm as the weather requires” the unicorn only dedicated herself to smile at him before stepping back to make way for Rainbow Dash. Angel couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable at the look of the blue pegasus, Rainbow's face still had traces that she had been crying and Angel knew very well that she was the only one who still, deep down, wished it was all just a cruel joke. She didn't say anything just held out the hoof in which she held her gift, it took Angel a moment to understand why she was giving her gift but then he realized, it was an old flying goggle but not just any goggle, they were the same flying goggles that Fluttershy had given Rainbow Dash years ago when they graduated from flight school, the lenses and the framing were the same but the strap had been replaced with a bigger one. “For when you decide you want to learn to fly...” said Rainbow quickly before turning and walking away. Finally Twilight approached, Angel took a big breath of air as the alicorn planted herself in front of him, he could see in the mare's eyes the mourning and sadness of having to see the face of the pony they had already dismissed, but still this look contrasted with the radiant smile forming on her lips. Twilight handed him his gift with her magic, a package wrapped in newsprint whose content was more than clear, a book, Angel wasn't particularly excited about that one but accepted it anyway. “And this, is so you never forget her...or us” said the alicorn before approaching and giving Angel a tight hug, who found himself surprised. It felt like the first hug he had received in the cave, warm and soft. “Good luck Angel...” whispered Twilight in his ear. By the time the hug was over Angel realized that his ship had arrived, the other passengers scattered around the dock were already boarding and Zecora was motioning him with her hoof to hurry. Before heading off Angel turned to take one last look at the five mares who were all maintaining their smiles, but he was able to notice how tears were threatening to spill from all of their eyes. “Thank you...” he finally said ”Thank you all very much...” “No, Angel, thank you to you for being honest, if Fluttershy were here, I'm sure she would be very proud...” said Twilight as a tear ran down her cheek ”Good trip Angel...” “Good trip to all of you too...” was the last thing she said to them, before turning around and walking towards the ship. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dusk gave way to night and Angel was on the deck of the ship with Zecora, they had already placed most of their things in their cabin and now they were simply enjoying the ocean breeze while eating some of Pinkie's muffins. Angel held under his wing the package Twilight had given him, curious to know what she was referring to. “Well, don't leave us with the intrigue companion, open that package already!” exclaimed Zecora. “Looks like you're more excited than I am...” said Angel not being able to help but let out a chuckle, even so he didn't want to wait any longer either. Quickly he took the package between his feathers and with a quick hoof movement he opened it, to the surprise of neither of them the content turned out to be a book, but it had no cover or description, it was just a simple green binding with yellow details, Angel looked at it with curiosity for a second before opening it and checking its content. They were both stunned with what they saw, it was page after page in which there were images that moved, lively and fluid, they all had one constant in common, Fluttershy, she was in each and every one of the images, cooking, on picnics with her friends, teaching, It didn't take Angel long to guess what it was all about, it was a magical scrapbook, filled with the memories of all of Ponyville about Fluttershy, he began to cry almost without realizing it, letting himself be carried away by nostalgia and by the smile of his caregiver reflected in each image. Zecora was also touched and approached Angel, wrapping one of her hooves around him in a hug. “Oh my dear friend instead, it's beautiful, don't you think so?” Angel choked back her sobs and wiped her tears with her wings, looking at the page she had lingered on, a memory of Fluttershy watching a sunset over a hill full of cotton buds, with a calm and peaceful expression, Angel couldn't help it and smiled too, genuinely sad, but also genuinely happy. “Yes...it is.” At once Angel closed the book and returned to the muffin basket, starting to ask Zecora about where they were going, anxious to get there and find out what the future held for him, after all Fluttershy had given him a new life, and he was sure he was going to live it. Author's Note I'm thinking if it would be a good idea to make a spin off of this ending, with the adventures of the new Angel, I'm not sure, I would like to know what you think. Thank you all for reading.
Chapter 1: Reflex.When the little bunny came staggering agonizing to the doors of the sanctuary everyone panicked, they knew that what the little one needed was super concentrated carrot juice, but this was stored in the cellar and the only one who had the keys was Fluttershy. Unfortunately Angel in his tantrum had neglected them and had no idea where they were, by the time the sanctuary staff finally discovered that the little elephant who had swallowed the snake had the keys stuck in his trunk, it was too late. The little bunny's heart couldn't take it anymore and simply stopped beating, little by little Angel watched in terror as the life drained out of his own body and as Fluttershy finally closed her eyes, he tried to shake her, rock her and even give her mouth to mouth resuscitation, but it was useless. As the sanctuary workers swarmed around her and began yelling things at her, the rabbit trapped in the pegasus' body could only stand still, his gaze fixed on what used to be her small body as a single horrible thought built in his mind, Fluttershy had died. The next thing Angel felt was a slap straight in her face, the blow came from the head nurse of the sanctuary who, seeing that the pegasus didn't seem to react saw no choice but to hit her. Angel came back to himself looking at the mare in front of him, she held him by his shoulders and looked directly at him with a compassionate expression. “Fluttershy I...I'm sorry, I really am.” The mare gave Angel a tight hug that he couldn't return, he simply looked down again, paling at the image of her body lying on the ground, it was a surreal and overwhelming sensation, so much that it made him feel uncontrollable nausea, without any hint of consideration, Angel vomited on the mare's back who quickly moved away. For a moment she thought about complaining to the pegasus but the moment she saw Fluttershy's face completely pale and apparently absent with vomit still staining her chin she changed her face to a more sympathetic one, after all she had just lost her bunny Angel, that must have had her torn up inside. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Later that day Zecora arrived at the sanctuary in search of the little lizard she had brought in the morning, the moment she heard the news from one of the nurses she panicked, ran through the corridors of the main building of the sanctuary, on her way to the infirmary and when she finally entered the room abruptly she met Fluttershy face to face. She saw her sitting next to one of the beds in the infirmary, her back to her, the pegasus didn't seem to notice the zebra's presence, remaining completely motionless. Zecora approached slowly, circling the bed until she was in front of it, what she saw made her eyes widen and her breath catch in her throat. Right on top of the soft sheets, arranged in such a way that he appeared to be sleeping, lay Angel's body, dirty and bruised. The zebra turned to look at Fluttershy and her fear grew even more, the pegasus' face was a mixture of panic and shock, her eyes were fixed on the rabbit's face and it looked like she hadn't blinked in a long while, her forehead was completely drenched in sweat and her fur was pale. Zecora then approached by taking a couple of steps towards the pegasus and placing a hoof on her shoulder to try to get her attention. “Fluttershy...?” she asked somewhat doubtfully ”Are you okay...as soon as I heard what happened I came running here too.” Angel kept his eyes straight ahead despite having heard Zecora's words, he didn't care, he just continued to get wrapped up in his tangle of thoughts. The sow, worrying that her fears were becoming true, insisted again with a little more firmness. “Fluttershy I'd like you to answer me I don't like these waves at all.” Still without an answer, the zebra in a desperate attempt to make her friend react grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her forcing her to look at her. “Fluttershy stare at me I need to know something urgently!” Zecora spoke with a serious tone uncommon for her while keeping her eyes fixed on Fluttershy's, making sure that Fluttershy was listening to her ”Before your friend's sad demise I must know Did you and him switch bodies before he passed away?” That question finally brought Angel back to himself, for a moment he thought Zecora was his best chance that if he told her what had happened she could fix it, but he quickly dismissed that thought. Despite being just a bunny he was perfectly aware that there was nothing, in the entire kingdom of Equestria with the power to revive the dead, not even the princesses could do something like that, so, right now he was in a dilemma. He could still tell Zecora what had happened, that because of his arrogance and carelessness Fluttershy had died in her rabbit body, but if he did then what would become of him? After all, even if by accident, he had caused the death of a pony and not just any pony, we're talking about one of the elements of harmony, one of the most important ponies in Equestria, and, although her body was technically still alive, she was gone. So what would happen to him if everyone found out, would they judge him, would they lock him up, could they even do that even if he was just a rabbit, he had no idea, but at that moment fear gripped him, he didn't want to be found out, not until he knew how to excuse himself from the tragedy, finally finding his voice stuck in his throat he was able to work out a quick answer for Zecora. “Yes...yes, she..I mean, he and I switched before he...died” once again for Angel it was strange to hear Fluttershy's voice coming out of his mouth, but the discomfort he felt now didn't compare at all to the first time, still he did his best to keep his composure in front of the zebra. “Oh that's a relief a relief indeed, for a moment I thought something had gone terribly wrong” Zecora let out a big sigh of relief before realizing how insensitive she was being to Fluttershy who had just lost her best animal friend ‘Oh I'm sorry Fluttershy you don't know with what passion, that all this happened was not my intention’ the zebra lowered her head with intricate heaviness ”By giving you that position I thought it would help you, I didn't know this was how it would end up.” The zebra's apology made Angel come to a new resolution, Zecora was right, it wasn't his fault, it was hers, if she hadn't prepared that stupid potion they would never have switched bodies and Fluttershy will still be alive. At this a new emotion came over Angel, one that overcame sadness and fear in a single instant, anger. “Well, your apologies are useless now!!!” Fluttershy's voice rose to a volume Zecora never thought possible, quickly raising her head to look into an angered face. “What the hell am I supposed to do with them!!! apologies won't bring her back to life!!! and you know what, you're damn right, if it hadn't been for your stupid idea none of this would have happened!!!” Out of nowhere the pegasus lifted its hoof and hit Zecora hard in the face, so hard that it knocked her backwards. Zecora turned around in disbelief as the burning in her cheek became more and more present, never, in all the time she had known her, did she believe that Fluttershy was capable of doing something like this, neither cursing nor hitting someone. The zebra was speechless as the pegasus continued her outburst. “And I'll tell you something else, I don't understand why the hell in the first place any pony would want anything from you, you are a filthy Zebra and ever since you came to town it's just been disaster after disaster, like the time with the acid you made the vain unicorn get in her mane or when you caused a horrible disease to the farm girl's little sister and now, you caused a death...!!!” Angel walked towards Zecora aggressively making the zebra recoil in fear until he hit the wall of the room “You are a disgusting and despicable being, I WISH YOU HAD DIE IN HIS PLACE!!!” Tears streamed down Zecora's face, Fluttershy's hurtful words fueled the guilt she felt and made her miserable, not knowing what else to do or say the zebra simply ran out of the room sobbing while Angel stood in the middle of the room with her wings outstretched and panting. As the anger dissipated little by little Angel couldn't help but feel a little guilty for what he had said to Zecora, yes she may have provoked this situation but she had done it from her best intention and maybe if Angel had been more responsible...No, that wasn't possible, he wasn't to blame, he just wanted Fluttershy to pay more attention to him, it didn't take a weird potion to make Fluttershy do what she should, that zebra was to blame. Angel returned back to the side of the infirmary bed and looked at her limp body again and the fear came back to him, he had no idea what was going to happen now, he had no idea what he was supposed to do and most importantly, he had no idea how to fix this. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ The next day Angel and Fluttershy's friends, as well as the sanctuary staff and some of the animals, organized a small funeral in Angel's honor, everyone gathered at the edge of Fluttershy's hut and dug a small grave. The little bunny's body had been wrapped in a beautiful white cloth and placed in a small box, his face had been placed in such a way that he seemed to be smiling peacefully, even Rainbow Dash had caused a faint drizzle to form a farewell, inside the box a handful of soil with seeds had also been placed. “When her body decomposes and the seeds germinate, her grave is adorned with beautiful cotton buds” is what the farmer pony had said to Angel to justify the strange gesture. Angel did not say a single word during the whole ceremony, he could only watch as little by little, what no one knew, was the last smile that the sweet and tender Fluttershy would give to the world, disappeared into the earth and dust. When the burial was over, everyone present said some words in honor of the little bunny, but Angel didn't listen to any of them, his ears were still ringing due to the headache he felt and even if he had been in perfect condition, he wasn't interested in anything those ponies had to say about him, after all none of them really knew him, for them he was just an adorable pet, a stupid animal that only existed to look cute and keep Fluttershy company, Angel couldn't help but grit his teeth at this thought, the only pony that really understood him was Fluttershy and she was gone. When the ceremony was over the sanctuary staff and the animals dejectedly left the place while Fluttershy's friends approached the pegasus to talk to her. “Fluttershy...” began Twilight ”I understand that you must feel horrible and very sad about what happened to Angel...” “And we want you to know that, despite the fact that we can't feel the way you feel, you have as always our full support” continued Rarity. “We've already talked to the people at the sanctuary...” said Applejack ”And they've agreed to give you all the time you need to recover.” “And if at any time you need anything, anything at all...” began Pinkie Pie. “You can tell us and we'll be here to help you” concluded Rainbow Dash. Angel didn't look away from Fluttershy's grave, all that cheesy paraphernalia they had told him was too much for him, if they all knew the truth they wouldn't even be talking to him. Once again he felt the fury rise in his throat but he managed to restrain himself. “Aham..yeah, right” he replied dryly as he stood up and headed towards the cabin. All the mares exchanged worried glances at the rude response of the yellow pegasus, but quickly attributed it to the sadness she was surely going through, they could not even imagine how devastated she was probably feeling, they decided that they would not pressure her, they would give her her space and wait until she felt well enough to talk to her. Without further ado, they all walked away back to town, leaving Angel alone. Angel entered the cabin after several minutes of trying to open the door, he still didn't understand how ponies could lift and move things so easily without fingers, something about his old body he was beginning to miss too much. When he entered he just closed the door behind him and let himself fall back against it, the hut was empty and without a single light on which, combined with the dim light coming through the rain clouds, gave it an air of sadness and melancholy. Angel appreciated the view for a second before determining that he didn't like it. He quickly stood up and walked to the cabin's kitchen, stretching to the shelf where Fluttershy kept her firewood, grabbing a large handful and returning to the living room, he threw the wood reluctantly into the fireplace and searched for the flint Fluttershy used to light it with. After a few minutes he found it right on the edge of the fireplace itself, he tried to use his new hooves to light the fire but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't create a single spark, desperate Angel let out a cry of frustration and threw the flint into the wood which obviously didn't ignite. Giving up Angel let himself fall to the floor, covering his ears which did not stop buzzing, he did not understand why his head hurt so much, it felt as if something was drilling the base of his skull, he closed his eyes trying to relieve it and it worked slightly, so much so that suddenly Angel realized something new, It was an even stranger sensation than the headache or the general discomfort he had been feeling since yesterday, this was very subtle, barely perceptible, it felt as if something was pressing against his chest, Angel got up and felt his fur, thinking that maybe he had hurt himself without realizing it, but he found nothing. Still he didn't stop his gentle touch on it, soon he found himself looking it up and down, despite everything that had happened, he still hadn't given himself the task of examining what was now his new body in detail, he used his hooves to explore his face first, he felt his soft features and long mane, his ears were very soft although nothing compared to the ones he had when he was a rabbit and they felt cool to the touch, then he lowered his hooves and felt her neck, it was extremely fluffy and by pressing lightly he could feel how sensitive the skin of Fluttershy's body was, he went down her chest, where the feeling of pressure still persisted, and then on her back behind her wings, Angel couldn't believe how curious his own touch felt on her body, he started stroking more frantically all over feeling all the new parts. Finally he reached the belly of Fluttershy's body and as he tried to continue his frantic exploration he felt a twinge of pain, he quickly pulled his hooves away from the impression, his distracted mind came back to himself as he realized what he was doing. “What the hell am I doing?” Angel shook his head and got up from the floor ”This isn't right, none of this is right...” Angel looked around again, now that the night was starting to settle the place looked even more gloomy, he couldn't help but think how quiet it was without Fluttershy's cheerful humming she used to do while preparing her dinner. That memory not only made Angel feel sad all of a sudden but it also made his stomach growl profusely, he hadn't realized how hungry he felt, in fact, now that he thought about it, he was sure he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday, maybe that explained the headache. He made his way back to the kitchen, stumbling a couple of times due to the darkness that was becoming more and more prominent, he groped for the shelf where Fluttershy kept the food, after a few minutes of trying to memorize he got it, he opened the shelf and found a good amount of pony food, canned peaches, boxed bread, potatoes, celery and of course, many boxes of tea, none of this caught Angel's attention, he rummaged around a bit more finding a jar of cookies and a few cartons of milk, but quickly moved away and switched to the next shelf, where Fluttershy kept the food for her animals. In this case it took him much less time to find what he was looking for, he took the whole basket of carrots and returned back to the living room, while walking in the direction of the big armchair he passed by the big mirror Fluttershy had to check herself before going out in the mornings, he couldn't help but stop in his tracks and turn his face to see himself. Angel recognized the face that looked back at him, but at the same time it was like seeing a complete stranger, he took a couple of steps towards the mirror looking straight into her eyes, deeply, hoping to be able to see even a hint of Fluttershy's soul reflected, but there was nothing, only his own soul, for a moment he felt hyperventilated, keeping his gaze fixed on the mirror made him feel horrible, he even noticed how the pressure in his chest increased slightly. He shook his head cutting off the eye contact and heading back to the living room couch, leaning back on it and placing the basket of carrots next to him, he took one and started to eat it. The food took his mind away from his thoughts for a while, it wasn't until the last of the carrots was consumed that once again his mind was overwhelmed by the situation. Angel didn't want to think anymore, the ideas make his head hurt more, he didn't want to have to think of a way to fix it because he had come to the conclusion that there was no way to do it, he placed his hooves over his face blocking his view and comforting him a little, at least this way he could imagine that he was still the same. While the cabin was completely dark and the last vestiges of sunlight were extinguished outside Angel finally managed to fall asleep, hoping to wake up tomorrow and that all this was just a nightmare.
Chapter 2: Blood.Angel could not sleep much, the discomfort he felt only allowed him to lose consciousness at times, by the time the sun began to peek over the horizon and its light entered through the windows of the cabin Angel had had what, according to him, had been the worst night of his life. Even though the headache was almost gone along with the ringing in his ears he still felt the pressure on his chest, he didn't even try to get up, he just lay there on the couch for hours. It was the sound of light knocking on the cabin door that finally forced him to raise his head, his eyes were heavy and the sunlight hurt him, for a moment he thought about ignoring the knocking and waiting for whoever it was to simply leave, but the knocking only continued in short intervals, they were soft knocks, so much so that, had the cabin not been in complete silence, Angel was sure he wouldn't even have been able to hear them. Reluctantly he finally got to his feet, shuffling his hooves in the direction of the front door, passing once more in front of the large mirror. Angel looked at his reflection again and found that Fluttershy's body looked haggard, her mane and tail were messy and somewhat dirty with carrot remnants, as well as her fur, her eyes were sunken and with huge dark circles under them which gave her a terrible look. Despite this all Angel could think about was how uncomfortable the long hair over his shoulders and the tail trailing behind him felt. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fluttershy's parents were worried, yesterday they had received the news that their daughter had suffered a terrible loss with the death of her bunny and, according to what they had been told, she was not well. They had decided to leave immediately to visit her, traveling all night to get to Ponyville early, now both old pegasus were very tired, but they decided to ignore that fact in order to focus on giving comfort to their daughter, after all, they knew how sensitive and empathic she was, they couldn't let her go through this alone. Receiving no response again after knocking on the door, Mr. Shy cleared his throat and spoke in a low tone as he knocked again. “Fluttershy, sweetie, it's your mother and I, we came to see you, could you please open up for us...” At that moment the door was rudely ajar, something that slightly startled both pegasus. “Yes? what do you want?” said Angel abruptly, it took him a moment to realize that they were indeed Fluttershy's parents. Suddenly nervousness took over him, after all they were the pegasus' family, surely they must know her very well, it was more likely that they deduced that something was wrong, at that idea Angel's mind was filled again with doubts and fear, what was he supposed to do now? he couldn't just throw them out, it would be too suspicious, so what to do? Both parents exchanged worried glances, Fluttershy looked very disheveled, dirty and had tied her hair in a rough bun on her head, also her look seemed absent and somewhat strange. “Hey Fluttershy love are you all right?” asked Mrs. Shy with a worried tone in her voice. Angel finally reacted, he wasn't to look suspicious, he had to find a way to subtly get rid of them.... “Ehhh...yes, yes mother, I'm fine” Angel forced a smile smudged with carrot remnants. “Ehhh well honey...” began Mr. Shy ”We, we knew what happened to your bunny Angel and well...” “We wanted to come see you honey, just to see if you needed anything” Mrs. Shy completed the sentence. Angel gritted his teeth, of course that's what they came for, suddenly his life seemed to have become very important to all the ponies in Equestria, hypocrites, this was a simple cheesy formality, one that Fluttershy would have put up with feigning sympathy or maybe even genuinely appreciating it, but to him it was all a bad joke and more so considering his current situation, slowly he could start to feel the anger building up in his stomach. “Honey, do you think...we can come in to...join you for a while?” asked Mr. Shy. The comment snapped Angel out of her reverie, her jaw relaxed and she refocused on the yellow pegasus' progenitors. “Oh ehh ehh I...” he started to say, still undecided on how to proceed ”I don't know, you know...I'm still very...sad yes, very sad and I really don't feel like seeing anyone.” Both parents cringed at their daughter's obvious discomfort, for a moment they thought about withdrawing and giving her her space, but if Fluttershy had taught them anything it was to be more assertive when the situation called for it, and just now they were sure that their daughter needed a shoulder to cry and vent on, so, finally, it was Mrs. Shy who came up with a way to insist in a polite but firm way. “At least let us join you for breakfast honey, if you want to be alone after that your father and I will understand.” “Yes, your mother and I just want to make sure you are okay” continued Mr. Shy. Angel didn't know what to do, he thought about being more aggressive with his stance of staying alone but that could put him in an even more complicated situation, that far outweighs anything that could go wrong if he would just let the pegasus stay for a while, finally and holding the anger inside he answered with resignation. “Well, I guess they can stay...just for a while.” ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Sitting in the living room, silence reigned, the atmosphere was tense and Fluttershy's parents could notice how the, normally noisy and full of life, cabin was empty. “Ahem Fluttershy honey...” finally said Mr. Shy ”Where are all your animals?” “They're all in the sanctuary” Angel replied dryly, the animals had been his main concern as they knew about the body swap and knew that Fluttershy had died, that was the reason why none of them wanted to stay in the hut, he was worried that they would tell on him but it quickly dawned on him that no pony besides Fluttershy had the ability to understand animals, so even if they try to say something, no one would be able to understand them. “Oh and... how are things going with your sanctuary honey?” asked Mrs. Shy smiling nervously. “Well there are animals and they take care of them there” another curt reply, Angel thought, if he could make them uncomfortable enough they would go away and leave him alone. Silence fell again, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the clock hanging on the wall. Fluttershy's parents didn't quite know how to proceed, their daughter seemed completely reluctant to hold a conversation and her attitude had gone from strange to downright rude, again it was Mrs. Shy who thought of a way to try and cheer up her daughter. “What do you say we make some tea and accompany it with nice cookies?” she exclaimed quietly. “Oh, that's a wonderful idea...!” quickly reacted her husband supporting her in her plan ”Is that okay with you Fluttershy?” Angel forced a smile while in his mind he could only curse, he didn't remember Fluttershy's parents being so resilient, that only made him irritate himself even more, but it wasn't only that, there was something in the way they talked to him that made him feel extremely uncomfortable, he still couldn't identify what but it certainly got worse every time they opened their mouths to refer to him. “Sure...!” she replied still maintaining her smile ”Cookies and tea that sounds...great!” At her daughter's affirmative Mrs. Shy wasted no time and dashed into the kitchen in a recovered mood followed closely by her husband and finally Angel who just stood at the entrance to the room, watching. She watched as the mother of the pegasus skillfully using her wings, took the box of matches, taking one out and lighting it to subsequently light the small iron stove, while the father went through the drawers, finding a small pot, filling it with the water Fluttershy stored and placing it on the fire. “Fluttershy honey...” Once again the fur on the back of Angel's neck bristled at Mistress Shy's call, there it was again, that twinge that irritated her so much, even without knowing what exactly caused it, she couldn't help but get lost in her thoughts to find out. “Do you still have those delicious shortbread cookies?” The mare's tone had become casual in an attempt to reduce the tense atmosphere, she believed it might help her daughter get distracted and perhaps open up more to talk to them. Receiving no response she turned to see Fluttershy who had her face fixed in the corner of the room and her gaze was trembling. “Fluttershy...?” asked his mother as he approached her. The resolution hit him like an out of control cart, there it was, the reason for his discomfort, he couldn't believe it had taken him so long to realize something so crucial, being called by Fluttershy's name, was what made him feel so bad. Noticing the mare approaching him in his peripheral vision, Angel reacted by giving a small jump backwards, pulling away abruptly. “Ah? yes! I, I don't know, I think there's a bottle in the pantry...” exclaimed Angel startling Mistress Shy before turning around and heading for the stairs ”Could you excuse me for a moment...I need to check something in my room...” As Angel walked away up the stairs leaving both parents alone, they turned to look at each other worriedly. “She doesn't look well love...” began Mrs. Shy ”I know we were told that the death of her rabbit had affected her but I've never seen her like this...” “Give it time...” Replied Mr. Shy “That rabbit was his whole life, we can't expect him to make it up overnight.” “Yeah...you may be right” “The best thing we can do is to be with her and support her in whatever she needs, you'll see how in time she'll come back to herself” and with that, both ponies went back to their work of preparing breakfast. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel abruptly entered Fluttershy's room closing the door behind him and collapsing against it, in his head a conflict was starting to hammer, adding to the endless confusing and chaotic thoughts that already adorned his mind. The ringing in his ears and his headache returned, all this while the pressure in his chest became a little more present, his breathing became irregular and sweat covered him little by little Why did it bother him so much? After all, that was the name by which the body he found himself occupying was known, that was what he now had to get used to being called, he had to make peace with that idea and fast. His discomfort was significantly reduced at that, if he really wanted to impersonate Fluttershy he had to do his part, ignoring the pain in his head and chest he tried to get up to go back downstairs but his legs didn't seem to agree with his mind's decision, clumsily he tried to stand up and immediately stumbled, staggering across the room until he impacted face first against one of the wooden furniture, causing a loud clatter and alarming the pegasus on the floor below. Quickly both parents ran upstairs, rushing down the hallway and bursting into the room. Seeing their daughter lying on the floor their fear increased, quickly approaching and calling out worriedly. “Fluttershy!!! Honey, are you all right!” Said Mrs. Shy. “What happened to you, did you hurt yourself?!” asked Mr. Shy. Angel only let out a moan of pain in response, the blow hadn't been too hard but it still stunned him, this combined with the unexplained weakness in his legs convinced him that it would be best to stay on the ground. At this the concern of both pegasus increased even more, thinking that possibly their daughter was badly hurt, quickly Lord Shy lunged towards Angel, holding him between his hooves and turning towards him. “Oh my Celestia!!!” he exclaimed as he noticed how his daughter's forehead was bleeding due to a cut just above her eye ‘Honey get a first aid kit, she's bleeding!’ he said to Mrs. Shy who quickly left the room back downstairs. “Fluttershy! Honey don't go to sleep! Your mother and I will take you to the hospital...!” Receiving no answer Mr. Shy raised his voice and continued calling his daughter “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy please answer!” “STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!” Angel stood up abruptly, pushing Mr. Shy to the other side of the room just at the moment when Mrs. Shy was returning with Fluttershy's small first aid kit. “Fluttershy what's wrong?” asked the stallion, still worried but also intimidated by his daughter's sudden outburst. “WHAT'S WRONG!!! WHAT'S WRONG IS THAT I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR DAUGHTER TURNED OUT TO BE SO WEAK, WITH SUCH MEDIOCRE PARENTS LIKE YOU I'M NOT SURPRISED AT ALL!!!” Both pegasus were left with their mouths open, it wasn't just Fluttershy's attitude itself, which was already shocking in itself, but rather the fact that every single one of her words seemed to be said from the deepest and most absolute contempt. Never, in his entire life, not even in the last few years when his daughter became more assertive, had he been even minimally close to such a violent tone, both of them didn't know what to do or say so they just stood there, petrified right where they were while his daughter continued with her attack. “AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOUR WEAKNESS IS EVEN MORE MISERABLE THAN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BECAUSE AT LEAST SHE WAS ABLE TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH HER LIFE, YOU COULDN'T EVEN FIX HER VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER USELESS BROTHER AND FUCKING MOTHER I'D LIKE TO SAY I WISH YOU HAD DIED INSTEAD OF HER, BUT THAT'S A GREAT IRONY BECAUSE IF IT HAD BEEN LIKE THAT NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVEN NOTICED!!!” Despite the strangeness in Fluttershy's way of speaking her parents seemed not to notice, they were too busy sobbing and crying profusely, they couldn't believe that their daughter, whom they had raised with so much affection and love was insulting and cursing them so horribly, it was as if she wasn't herself. Both parents hugged each other and let themselves fall on the floor while crying uncontrollably, but they didn't even have a moment to process what had just happened since Angel continued, although with her voice at a lower volume due to her tiredness “What's the matter, don't Mom and Dad have anything to say anymore!” To that last question was added a haughty and mocking tone, one that shrinks the hearts of both pegasus who couldn't answer “THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!” shouted Angel at the top of his lungs. The parents couldn't take it anymore and ran out of Fluttershy's room, Angel could hear them running down the stairs and then out the door, leaving it open, he could feel how little by little the anger was leaving his thoughts, collapsing back on the floor panting from the effort. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel woke up several hours later in the same position in which he had fallen, he could feel a tingling in one of his hind legs as he tried to get up, his leg had fallen asleep because he had fallen on it when he passed out and now it hurt. Barely managing to crawl onto the bed and lay on it looking up at the ceiling, her mind slowly began to fill with memories of what had happened. He suddenly felt bad for yelling at Fluttershy's parents like that, after all they didn't deserve to be treated like that just because it didn't feel right, he had crossed a line and maybe he should ...No, it wasn't his fault. It was theirs, after all he wanted to be alone, he had told them he wasn't feeling well, they should have listened to him and not forced him to let them in, and on top of that they came in only to treat him as if nothing had happened, as if it was just an ordinary day How dare they do that when a horrible tragedy had just happened? they were insensitive. Thinking about it calmed Angel down, he had done the right thing, it was about time someone told those ponies their truths, he had just been a little rude in communicating with them. Her thoughts were interrupted when a pang in her brain shook her up and down, her headache was back, as was the pressure in her chest, which hadn't even gone away in the first place, Angel brought one of her hooves to her face to stroke her temple, in an attempt to reduce the stabbing pain, when she felt the dried blood on her face. He quickly got up from the bed and walked to the small round mirror of the room that hung on the wall, noticing again the discomfort when he saw his own reflection, even so he ignored it and inspected the wound, it had already crusted a while ago but still left the entire right side of his face stained with dried blood. Angel admired the stain deeply and for a long time, trying to discern if what he had felt before had been real or just an impression caused by adrenaline. Unsure of the answer and wanting to remove all doubt, he walked in the direction of the piece of furniture he had bumped into, opened the top drawer and found what he was looking for, all of Fluttershy's knitting material was there, all her stamens, her little frames with beautiful embroidery and, what interested him most, her needles. He quickly picked one up with his hoof and held it in front of his face, watching the edge closely and questioning whether it was really a good idea. Finally, drawn by an almost childlike curiosity, Angel brought the needle close to his other hoof, held it steady and gave a quick, deep jab into his skin. The pain was short-lived and intense, making him close his eyes for a second, when he opened them again he found what he expected, a small trickle of blood slowly trickling down as it stained his fur, he watched as it slowly reached his elbow and began to drip slowly to the floor of the room. Angel didn't know why but now he was sure of what he had felt before, somehow both the freshly opened hole in his skin and the blood gushing from it had managed, if only for a single moment, to relieve both the pain in his head and the pressure in his chest.
Chapter 3: Nightmares.Angel hopped happily across a large open field, he could feel the grass against his fluffy fur and the soft breeze on his long ears, the little bunny felt extremely happy, that feeling of freedom made his heart pound and his mind fly free, he took another leap forward and suddenly something pulled him back violently. He felt as if something was closing around his neck, suffocating him, he panicked and shook violently trying to get away from the pull, placing his paws on his neck trying to release the invisible knot that little by little was stealing his air, he tried to scream for help but from his mouth only a choked animal screech came out and, before he knew it the pull began to drag him backwards. He could feel his back tearing and bleeding from the friction with the ground, he desperately tried to cling to the grass to stop the pull but suddenly all the green around him seemed to disappear, being replaced by nothing but dry dirt and sharp rocks, as he tried to hold on the small nails of his paws came off, causing him horrible pain and making his blood loss more prominent. Angel felt he was about to lose consciousness, his vision was getting more and more blurred, when finally, the pulling seemed to stop, he looked up and thought he saw a figure standing over him, he couldn't recognize it, his eyes, now covered with tears, reduced even more his already impaired vision, he could no longer breathe no matter how hard he tried to fill his lungs and his struggling gradually weakened until it became intermittent spasms. The figure bent down towards him, bringing her face close to his and just as Angle let out his last breath before fading into the darkness the features of Fluttershy's disappointed face appeared in front of him. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel almost jumped out of bed in terror, gasping and coughing violently trying to catch his breath, the awakening was so abrupt that some vomit shot out of his mouth and stained the fur on his chin and neck. The pain in his head and the pressure in his chest were unbearable, in panic Angel groped with his hoof in search of the pincushion he had placed on the bedside table, taking three needles and sticking them hard into his flank, the pain immediately calmed the discomfort he felt and he was finally able to pull himself together, being able to control his breathing and collapsing back into the mattress and sheets. Still panting and sweating profusely he covered his face with his other hoof, wiping the tears that had formed on his face, this was already a whole week of nights full of nightmares, Angel felt frustrated, no matter how much he tried to relax, meditate or take medicine to sleep well simply nothing had worked, he simply woke up terrified in the middle of the night without being able to sleep again. He lay there with his face covered for a long while until he was finally able to breathe normally again, then he finally dared to remove his hoof and open his eyes, deep inside he wished that when he saw himself his old body would be there, white, small and adorable, but the disappointment came almost as fast as the thought. He could see the dirty, yellowish fur of his pegasus body, in conjunction with some of the long pink mane that blocked his view, Angel violently pushed the loose strands away, he really hated that mane, in doing so he could see that his two front hooves were full of bruises from all the needles he had been sticking himself with after discovering that they helped with his head and chest pain, The marks were unpleasant to look at, blackened by dried blood and marking some of the swollen veins and giving them an unhealthy appearance, his hind legs didn't look much different except that, in this case, most of the bruising was concentrated on the upper limbs and on his flanks. The cutie mark of three butterflies was bruised, deformed by the amount of wounds in the process of healing and all the dried blood stains on the fur, Angel didn't mind this, after all seeing that mark carved on his body only made him feel more miserable. The room was in complete disarray, there were scraps of food strewn all over the floor, as well as clothes piled in piles and the furniture drawers with the contents of them strewn everywhere, the mirror on the wall was completely smashed, the shards of bloodstained glass sparkled with the faint glow of the stars coming through the windows which were also broken, everything gave off an unpleasant smell between urine, vomit and dried blood, a smell that would have made any creature with a functional nose recoil but for Angel that had stopped mattering several days ago. He just stared at the ceiling, period in his thoughts, every now and then the pain in his head or chest would throb harder, at this he would just take the needles again and stick them in the same paw, over and over again for hours. Finally, when he had just completely risen above the horizon the sound of his gut growling for food broke his cycle of unwanted and self-inflicted pain, these last few days hunger and the urge to defecate was the only thing that got Angel out of bed, dragging his hooves and down the stairs, across the living room to the kitchen. The rest of the cabin was in no better shape than the main room, all the furniture was in disarray and almost every item had found a new home on the floor, also any and all mirrors or reflective surfaces had been destroyed leaving the room full of broken glass and twisted metal. Angel had to fly to dodge the avalanche of stuff, he had been practicing how to do it and, although he still had trouble keeping his balance, at least now he didn't have to touch the ground. He went into the kitchen, which was completely ransacked, searching through the cupboards for anything he could put in his mouth, he looked up and down, from one side to the other, but even the jar of the horrible butter cookies was completely empty. He let out a cry of irritation, he had finally run out of food and that could only mean one thing, he had to get out of the house. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ He didn't even try to look presentable, he went out just as he had woken up, the only things he did have with him were Fluttershy's old saddlebags and a handful of needles under his wing, he had tied his tail and mane so tightly and in such tight buns that it even hurt him, but he certainly preferred that to having to trip over the excessively cumbersome amount of hair once again. The day was sunny and very beautiful, the birds were singing happily and all the ponies were doing their day with a smile, Angel couldn't be more irritated, he could understand perfectly the songs of the birds, their corny tune made his eye twitch, by the time he reached the village, the pain had already made him stick the needles several times, he made sure to press hard the wing on the open wounds to prevent the blood from dripping. Without much consideration he walked in the direction of the town market, his stomach growled non-stop which caused him even more headache, he could notice as he walked how his presence attracted a few glances, the ponies that saw him passing by were extremely worried when they saw his appearance and felt the smell emanating from the pegasus' body, some even thought to approach to ask if everything was okay but when they noticed the unpleasantly hostile expression on his face they simply looked away and continued with their day. Finally he arrived at his destination, the stalls of fruits, flowers and various items were spread along the main street, the place was crowded, with many ponies attending to their mid-morning shopping, before the image Angel had to take a moment to relax. “Alright, just get in, buy carrots, and get out” he said to himself as he let out a sigh and walked into the avalanche of ponies. Luckily for him, due to the hustle and bustle of most, his presence seemed to be completely unnoticed, every now and then he would hear a pony ask if anyone else could sense the bad smell but, in the face of this Angel would just walk away quickly before they could identify him. He finally arrived at the stall where Fluttershy used to buy him the best carrots, attended by a yellow mare whose name Angel couldn't remember, there was a huge line in front of his stall, at least thirty ponies waiting patiently for their turn. Angel couldn't help but let out a snort at this, the last thing she wanted now was to have to stand still in one place, but, before even considering the option of looking for another less crowded stall Carrot Top noticed the presence of her pegasus friend. “Oh Fluttershy! How nice to see you!” the mare exclaimed happily, giving him an effusive hoof wave. Angel for a moment thought about ignoring her, mostly because her calling him by that name had given him a twinge of headache, but upon further analysis of the situation he realized that it might be too conspicuous not to reciprocate the greeting. Forcing a smile and walking cautiously towards her he finally answered her. “Hello .... .how...how are you...?” Carrot Top then noticed the deplorable state Fluttershy was in, she didn't want to be rude but she really looked awful, as if she hadn't been groomed in days, she quickly noticed the bruises on her paws and flanks. “Oh my Celestia! Fluttershy are you okay!!!” Angel's eye twitched again at the mention of the name, still he restrained his urge to yell at the mare, responding as best he could. “What? oh this...?” Angel lifted one of his bruised hooves “It's nothing serious, it's just...well...” he hadn't really thought of a plausible excuse or explanation for his injuries “My cabin got swarmed by...mosquitoes...!” he finally exclaimed “Yes! Huge mosquitoes...” “Oh, I see and umm...you feel okay? You look a bit, sick...” “Oh I'm perfectly fine, I just came for some carrots...” Hearing the reason why Carrot Top couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, she knew that very recently her friend had lost her pet Angel after a tragic accident at her sanctuary, she suddenly felt somewhat embarrassed for having greeted her so effusively, Fluttershy must still be very sad, for sure that was the reason for her disheveled appearance, and her acting in retrospect was very insensitive. “Oh I, I'm sorry Fluttershy, I haven't presented you with my condolences for the death of your bunny...” Angel felt anger building up in his stomach once again, this mare wouldn't even deign to remember his fucking name calling him “bunny”, he put all his strength to keep from exploding and kept the forced smile on his face. “Oh don't worry, just, if it's no bother, I'd like the carrots...” “Oh yeah sure, just let me pack them for you...” at which point the elderly pony who was all the way to the front of the line noisily cleared his throat. “Ahem! excuse me, but I was being served before that smelly pony arrived” the old man's tone was annoyed and he was clearly irritated. Carrot Top then turned and apologized nervously. “Oh I'm so sorry sir, I'll be with you in a second...” the mare turned to Fluttershy ”I'm so sorry Fluttershy, just let me finish tending to him and I'll give you your carrots.” Angel didn't say anything, he just stood there gritting his teeth as the mare heads to the other side of the stall and started helping the pony, he thought it was no big deal, that in a minute he'd have what he came for and be on his way, but then he could see how the old man pulled out a huge shopping list and started dictating it ridiculously slow. His stomach growled violently again, this was ridiculous, that damn old man was doing it on purpose, he just wanted some damn carrots, was that too much to ask for?. It was at that moment that Angel noticed that, just on the other side of the baradel stall he was in, was the basket of carrots, he thought about it for a second, maybe it was a bad idea, but in the end he said to himself. “I'm going to buy them anyway.” So he took a carrot and devoured it in just two bites, then took another which just as well disappeared as quickly as the first, and then another, and another, and another. By the time Carrot top finally finished tending to the old man he noticed, with an incredulous look, that Fluttershy had devoured more than half of the entire basket of carrots. “Fluttershy! What are you doing!” Angel answered her disinterestedly, still with a mouthful of carrots. “I was hungry, and I told you I wanted carrots...” “But...but you didn't even pay me for them!” “Just because I ate them doesn't mean I don't plan to pay you, I just decided to get a little ahead of the impending transaction” Angel let out a shrill belch, smearing Carrot Top's face with bits of carrot. The mare couldn't believe this, Fluttershy's attitude was extremely unpleasant, she could understand that to some extent but, there was no need to be so indecent, angrily and wiping the dirt from her face Carrot Top exclaimed. “Well..in that case, I'd like you to pay me for all the carrots you've already eaten and leave, right now!” “Fine...have it your way...” said Angel irritably as he dug a hoof into the saddlebag trying to find money, but there was nothing. Puzzled he intensified the movement inside the bag but met with the same result, it was empty Did he forget to take money before leaving the hut. “Well Fluttershy? I'm waiting” said Carrot Top visibly angry. Angel didn't know what to do, now he had put himself in a complicated situation, although, after all what did it matter? it was only a few coins and he could pay for them another time, it wasn't as if he had missed something important. “I seem to have forgotten the money in my cabin, you'll have to excuse me but I can't pay you now, but don't worry, when I come back for more carrots I'm sure I won't forget...” At that moment Angel started walking away from the stall. Carrot Top couldn't believe what was happening, Fluttershy was trying to steal from her face and the worst thing is that she didn't seem the least bit sorry for what she did, quickly the mare came out of her stall and stood in front of the pegasus who looked at her confused. “Wait a second! How dare you do this to me Fluttershy!!! I thought we were friends...” “We were?” asked Angel sincerely confused, he didn't remember this mare and Fluttershy sharing much time together. Carrot Top let out a gasp, she couldn't believe her friend was being so selfish and rude, she had no right, now even more angry and red in the face the mare yelled. “Well I did consider you my friend! But if we really aren't then you'll have no problem paying now everything you owe me!” The shouting began to attract the attention of the surrounding ponies who were approaching curiously, noticing this Angel realized that the situation was quickly getting out of control, he had to do something to get out of this. “Well, I would gladly do it but...” he stammered nervously ”As I told you I don't have the money...” “Well, in that case, it seems to me that we're going to have to resign with the relevant authorities Fluttershy, because this thing you're doing right now is, in essence, theft!” Angel was now worried, he couldn't go to the local guard, things didn't end well if he did he was sure, he started to quickly think of a way to escape from this, he looked around him, at the crowd of ponies that now surrounded him, there was no way out, he could try to fly but that wouldn't guarantee his escape and even if he managed to do that, these ponies knew where he lived, they would come looking for him. Just as Carrot Top was about to demand his money again a flash of blue landed right in front of her, Rainbow Dash extended her hoof in which was a small bag of coins and offered it to the mare. “I'll pay for it” exclaimed the pegasus determined. Carrot Top then with a frown took the bag and pulled out the coins, counting them warily. “There's still money missing...” he said with a serious look on his face. Rainbow Dash let out a sigh and took out a few more coins, handing them over as well, once the payment was complete Carrot Top gave Rainbow a look of disgust. “You can tell Fluttershy that as of today she is forbidden to come near my store and it will remain that way until she offers me a proper apology” offended the mare walked back to her stall, entering and returning to attend to her customers. “Fluttershy what were you thinking...?” Rainbow started to say as she turned to see her friend, surprised not to find her there, she looked in all directions trying to find her until she finally caught up with her, she saw her walking away almost at the exit of the market, the pegasus then took off from the ground at high speed heading towards her friend. Angel sighed in relief, he had narrowly escaped, he was grateful for the intervention of the blue pegasus and slipped away as soon as he saw an opportunity, now he just had to go back to the cabin and this horrible day will be quickly forgotten, but at that moment he heard a voice right behind him. “Fluttershy! Wait!” Angel pretends not to hear and just hurried the step but quickly Rainbow Dash stood in front of him, blocking his way. “Fluttershy what's wrong? What happened back there?” Rainbow was worried seeing her friend's state, she really looked really bad. “Uh no..it was nothing, just a little misunderstanding with the price of carrots...” she answered quickly avoiding looking her in the eyes and dodging the to keep moving forward, but her attempt was immediately stopped when the pegasus moved in front of her again. “And are you okay?” Rainbow was trying to search Fluttershy's gaze but Fluttershy was just staring at the ground. “Yes, of course I'm fine why wouldn't I be?” she replied now already somewhat annoyed. “Well it's just that you look...I'll be honest, you look really bad, have you been sleeping well? and what's staining your fur...?” Rainbow Dash tried to touch her friend with one of her hooves but she quickly pulled away. “No! It's nothing, it's just...I've been kind of sad these days” Angel struggled to keep calm, she just had to get rid of it and she could finally get home. “But are you sure you're feeling okay, because if you're sick we could go see Twilight or Zecora...” The mention of the zebra's name elicited contempt from Angel, after all she was the one most to blame for the horrible situation she was in, she quickly responded without thinking under her breath. “Don't mention that bitch...” “What did you say?” asked Rainbow intrigued. “Nothing! Nothing, I didn't say anything... “Angel paused as she tried to get going again but Rainbow Dash didn't move ”Listen...Rainbow, I'm actually feeling kind of tired and I just want to go home, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me in...” “Oh, sure, of course...” Rainbow turned away and Fluttershy resumed her walk briskly, walking away little by little while the pegasus just watched her, now she was really worried, her friend looked erratic and distant, she didn't know that the death of her bunny could affect her to that extent, she thought about what would be the best plan of action to help her, she couldn't think of anything very elaborate, she thought she could discuss it with Twilight later but just now, at least she could think of something that she thought would cheer Fluttershy up a little. Angel was walking at a hurried pace, he could almost see the exit of the village leading to his cabin now, this had been a horribly stressful day but deep down he was proud that, for the first time, he hadn't lost control, he thought it was a good sign that he was finally getting used to his new life, maybe, in the long run, he could finally establish a proper routine, act more like Fluttershy and finally stop feeling so physically bad. His thoughts were interrupted when Rainbow Dash's voice came again, he turned to see the blue pegasus walking beside him calmly. “What are you doing here again?” she asked sharply. Rainbow ignored the irritated tone in her friend's voice and responded by smiling at her. “Well, I thought I'd walk you home, so you don't have to walk all the way by yourself.” Angel felt ridiculously angry at the stupid grin the pegasus had on her face, he didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to be near him, after all, not once, did Rainbow Dash deign to visit the cabin in the whole week he had been locked up. Still she didn't want to throw away her victory of today, so she simply grunted and kept walking, with the blue pegasus following just a couple of steps behind her. All along the way Rainbow Dash tried to strike up a conversation with Fluttershy, but no matter how many topics she brought up, the yellow pegasus just didn't seem to feel like talking. “Hey and how are things going at the shelter?” “No one from there has come to bother me so I guess it's okay?” “Oh I see...and how have your other animals been...?” “I don't know, none of them have wanted to come back.” “Ah...and have you knitted anything new recently?” “No, I don't know how to knit” In the end Rainbow just fell silent, walking in silence until they finally reached Fluttershy's cottage, Angel stopped just far enough away so that the blue pegasus wouldn't notice the broken windows or the furniture thrown into the garden, clearing her throat exaggeratedly and speaking in a fake friendly tone. “Well...we're already here, you've already accompanied me, to my house, which is here...” Rainbow took the unsubtle hint and scratched the back of her neck before replying. “Sure...hey, are you sure you don't want me to stay for a while, we could do something together...” “Something like what?” asked Angel trying to maintain a smile. “I don't know, we could bake some shortbread cookies together, I know they're your favorite...” Angel couldn't help but grimace at the thought of those disgusting cookies, noticing this Rainbow quickly thought of something else. “Or, we could go swimming in the river, like when we were foals...” Angel then thought he finally understood the reason for this, the reason for the inordinate kindness of the blue pegasus today, to him it was no secret the particular tastes Rainbow Dash had, in fact, by this point, the whole town had heard at least one story concerning the pegasus' Sapphic adventures, and her reputation as a heartthrob, but Angel also knew that, at some point in the past, Rainbow Dash had been in love with Fluttershy How did he know? Fluttershy had told him, told him about the time Rainbow had declared her feelings to him and how she had rejected her because she didn't feel the same way. He came to the conclusion that all this was a dirty trick, a dirty and ill-intentioned ruse on Rainbow Dash's part to take advantage of what she believed was her friend, devastated and vulnerable by the death of her bunny. “Oh I'm sure you'd like that wouldn't you..?!” The sudden change in Fluttershy's attitude took Rainbow by surprise. “What...what are you talking about..?” she started to say, but was interrupted. “That's what you want isn't it? For the two of us to be alone, wet and together in a private place so you can take advantage of me?!!!” “No Fluttershy...of course not...” replied Rainbow extremely confused ”I'm just trying to cheer you up...why are you being like this?” “Oh right...the big Rainbow Dash, the lesbian who goes around from vagina to vagina doesn't want to take advantage of her childhood friend who she was in love with since they were foals...!” Rainbow then blushed profusely, she didn't understand why this attack towards her person, she just wanted to help and Fluttershy was attacking her with her own private feelings she had shared with her, finally she replied annoyed. “Hey! That's not true! Why the hell are you bringing that up now!!!?” “Because, I can't believe you're so disgusting, after all the horrible things that happened you come here like it's nothing and try to do your crap!!!” “I just wanted to cheer you up because you were sad about the death of your rabbit!” “And what the fuck do you know about how I feel?!!!!!” Rainbow was surprised, never in her life had she ever heard Fluttershy scream this loud, it was so powerful she could almost hear her friend's throat tearing from the effort. “You have no fucking idea how I feel!!! Don't you want to come here and tell me what you think is best for me, only I know what's best for me!!!” At that moment out of anger Angel opened his wings and the needles fell to the ground right in front of Rainbow, who was startled to notice how each and every one of them were almost completely stained with blood. “Fluttershy... what is that..?” “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER TO YOU?!!!! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S BETTER FOR ME RIGHT NOW, YOU FILTHY TOMBOY WHORE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!” Rainbow Dash, for the first time in her life, felt intimidated from her friend Fluttershy, the kindest and shyest pegasus she had ever met in her life, the beautiful mare she had fallen in love with and whom she had learned to love more like a little sister, now he could not recognize her, she looked like an animal full of rage and hate that uncontrollably vociferated a caterwaul of insults and personal attacks, finally, tears began to flow from the pegasus' eyes, tears that she tried unsuccessfully to hide, speaking with a broken voice. “I...I'm sorry Fluttershy, I didn't know you thought so badly of me...” and without further ado Rainbow took flight and flew away. Angel then finally managed to calm down, panting as the anger faded he could feel once again the pain in his head and chest, this time even stronger, he quickly picked up the needles from the ground and, even though they were already covered with dirt, he stuck them in again without thinking, feeling the immediate relief. He let out a sigh as he finally managed to relax completely and turned around in the direction of the hut, as he walked once again the guilt was present. Had he misunderstood Rainbow's intentions, maybe he wanted to cheer him up after all? But, that didn't matter, he had told her that he wanted to go home and made it very clear that he didn't enjoy her company, besides he couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she might try to do something with him, after all you never know what to expect from promiscuous mares like her, this wasn't his fault. As soon as he entered the cabin he felt exhaustion fall upon him, he threw the empty saddlebag to some random place in the room and heavily walked in the direction of the stairs, in a moment he stumbled and staggered to one side, suddenly feeling a terrible pain in one of his front hooves, he instinctively pulled away and fell face first to the floor, hitting his back against the leg of a piece of furniture which made him let out a high pitched scream, it took him a moment to recover before he finally noticed what had caused the initial pain. By accident he had stepped on one of the sections of the floor littered with broken glass, some of these had dug deep into the base of his hoof, causing large cuts that bled profusely, for a moment Angel cursed himself for not cleaning even that section of the floor, but quickly came to his senses as he noticed that this new level of pain had alleviated the discomfort he was feeling much better, he let out a long sigh at being able to think clearly without the headache bothering him and breathe without the pressure in his chest irritating him, this gave him an idea, perhaps, if tonight he left the shards of glass where they were, the relief caused might finally allow him to fall asleep peacefully, this thought made him smile slightly, he really needed a good night's rest, perhaps then, finally, everything would feel better in the morning. Walking on three legs carefully, Angel dodged the few remaining pieces of furniture and climbed the stairs with enthusiasm, at least this day would end on a positive note. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Meanwhile Rainbow Dash was flying at full speed, trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing in the wind, no matter how much she thought about what had just happened she couldn't see any sense in it, why did Fluttershy act like that? She understood that maybe she was a little upset about Angel's death, but that didn't justify insulting her like that at all, she didn't know what to believe anymore, she felt angry, sad and devastated, but in a moment a fleeting thought crossed her mind. It was true, Fluttershy would never do something like that, in normal circumstances, but this situation exceeded all the parameters of normality, Fluttershy had asked for a loved one very precious to her, a companion who had accompanied her for years, this must have been something so strong that the grief must be destroying her friend, maybe she had acted this way with her because she felt resentful because none of her friends went to visit her or comfort her during all this time, they all believed that the best thing would be to give her her space but what if they had been wrong? What if what they should have done was to be closer to Fluttershy and not farther away? Rainbow Dash stopped in her tracks, yes, that had to be it, her friend felt terribly lonely in her grief and that was why she was acting so strange, she had to do something to change that, she had to help Fluttershy feel better, but, from what she had seen it would not be an easy task, she would certainly need help, a lot of help.
Chapter 4: Skin.The cut on his paw didn't help as Angel thought, this time he couldn't even fall asleep, every time he closed his eyes and his mind drifted away little by little Fluttershy's face appeared in front of him, staring at him, he could see her mouth moving non-stop, but he couldn't hear her voice. Now resigned, Angel was curled up in one of the corners of the room, covered by a thick sheet, he was absentmindedly playing with his mane with one of his hooves, giving sudden tugs every now and then and pulling out whole locks, which he then just let fall to the floor, he had his gaze lost somewhere on the floor and one of his back hooves was hitting the floor over and over again, His headache was now unbearable, so was the pressure in his chest, no matter how many needles he stuck deep into the flesh or how many pieces of glass he used to tear his sides, at best he only managed to relieve himself for a minute before the agony hit him again like an avalanche. Suddenly nostalgic memories came to his mind, longing added to his discomfort making him lose himself even more in his own mind. He saw the first time he arrived at Fluttershy's hut, just a little bunny orphaned and left to his own devices, picked up by a beautiful person who only knew kindness. she brought him home in a little shoebox, he could remember how scared he was while inside the box, and he also remembered how all that fear vanished the moment he could appreciate for the first time this sanctuary, the kind look and the sweet smile of his best friend when she offered him the first carrot. “Don't worry little angel, I'll take care of you.....” Distant words blurred in the increasingly shaky gardens of Angel's memory, but well that young Fluttershy could have been right beside him, as he heard them loud and clear ringing in his ears. Angel then stood up abruptly, he didn't want this, he wasn't going to be part of the sick games of his own mind. “It's not my fucking fault!” he screamed as he staggered across the room, stepping on his lacerated hoof and causing blood to drain from him. He was thankful for every twinge of pain that caused him to move as they pulled his thoughts away from anything else, he quickly slid out of the room, the door was now ripped off its hinges, pushed out and dangling from just a screw, Angel remembered how he had been ramming it the night before when the rage of not being able to sleep made him call for control. The cabin was now in a worse state than before, dirt accumulated in small mounds in the corners while debris and cracks in the walls remained perpetually still, except for the ones Angel moved as he went. He stumbled his way to the kitchen, a few strands of his tail and mane shed on the way while behind him a prominent trail of blood was marked on the wood, once he reached his destination he groped with his hoof for what was left of the first aid kit, grabbing a small roll of bandages which he proceeded to use to cover as many wounds as he could. Unfortunately, the small amount of bandages only allowed him to partially cover his most prominent wounds, for the rest he could only awkwardly clean himself with one of the kitchen rags, barely stopping the bleeding and leaving almost his entire body stained a sole red color that gradually began to turn a dark brown. Angel sighed in relief, feeling how the bandages tight to his injured body made everything hurt a little more, feeling the slight attenuation of his discomfort, he closed his eyes for a moment as he felt some weakness but in that instant Fluttershy's face appeared again, Angel couldn't be sure but, every time he saw her her face seemed a little sadder. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Five mares were walking down the path that led to Fluttershy's cabin, Twilight was walking in the lead followed by Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, their gait was determined, shrouded in an overwhelming silence, that is of course until Twilight broke it. “I still can't believe Fluttershy said those things Rainbow, Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?” “I swear, she...just snapped from one second to the next, I thought my company would help her feel better but ...then she was so cruel...” “Well dear, it's not that we don't believe you, it's just that doesn't sound like Fluttershy at all, I don't think I've ever in life seen her as upset as you describe her...” Rarity said encouraging the pace enough to walk beside the blue pegasus. “Maybe, she's still feeling devastated about Angel's death...” started Applejack saying “That wasn't sadness, I assure you, that was pure rage, and what's worse, there was no sign of regret on her part for the things she said to me...” interrupted Rainbow. “Sadness and mourning can trigger a lot of very extreme emotions, I'm sure Fluttershy didn't mean to hurt your feelings, she must be suffering a lot...” said Twilight. “But don't worry Rainbow!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed “That's the reason why we're going to see her right this very moment, if what she needs is to feel better, nothing like her best friends in the whole world, not to mention the delicious carrot cake I brought for her!” “Carrot, really?” asked Applejack raising an eyebrow. “Well, Rainbow Dash said she found her buying carrots at the market and didn't take any in the end, it's accurate to assume she wanted to make a carrot cake to honor angel” said Pinkie as she pulled a small orange tinged cake out of her mane. The conversation stopped when the friends noticed that Twilight had stood still, right at the top of the hill that overlooked the yellow pegasus's hut, and they were surprised when they advanced to stand next to her, only to freeze and realize why. Fluttershy's cabin was destroyed, even more than the previous time, apart from the blown out windows and the furniture on the lawn, now they could see big holes in the walls and pieces of furniture inserted into the walls from the inside, all the windows were completely covered with wood and, in general, it looked as if a tornado had swept through the once sweet home. The five friends stood in silence, stunned by the terrifying sight before them, none of them knew what to think, but in a moment they came to the same resolution, exchanging anxious glances and thinking that the worst might have happened. The next second they were running at full speed the missing stretch between them and the hut, even before they reached the entrance door, which surprisingly remained intact, the worried friends were already shouting Fluttershy's name. Twilight tried to open the door with her magic but it was perfectly locked. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Are you all right?! It's us, your friends!” she knocked on the door loudly and repeatedly without receiving any response. They all waited with anxious anticipation, but soon realized that there was no point, if Fluttershy was inside, she couldn't open the door for them, or couldn't she hear them? Rainbow Dash took off, flying around the outside of the whole house, checking up and down, it didn't take her more than a couple of seconds, when she returned to the ground found from the others, the pegasus exclaimed in a worried voice. “There's no other entrance, it's completely sealed!” “What do we do, what do we do!” asked Rarity in desperation. “Applejack, break down the door...” exclaimed Twilight suddenly, looking at the cowgirl. Applejack hesitated for a moment, looking Twilight in the eyes as if asking if she was serious, but the alicorn's own gaze answered before her words did. At this the earth pony quickly got into position in front of the door, readying her hind legs to launch a mighty blow, she looked once more at Twilight for corroboration, to which the violet mare only nodded firmly. Applejack threw a powerful kick, but was surprised not to feel the wood of the door at the distance she expected to feel it, in fact, there was no impact at all, she looked up only to see all her friends with their mouths open and pale, the farmer turned quickly finding that the door had opened, and there she was, Fluttershy was standing in the doorway, staring at them, luckily, far enough away so that the kick hadn't hit her. Unfortunately being able to see her friend did nothing but make her worry turn to hysteria, Fluttershy looked as if she had been beaten up by a group of thugs, her body was completely bruised, injured beyond what should be possible. Now her body was stained and lacerated, anyone who saw it would think it was a yellow zebra with red stripes, bits of skin hung from her sides and front hooves, the product of several deep cuts Angel made with the help of the broken glass, there were needles buried in her flesh, so deep that to remove them would require magic and her mane and tail now exhibited quite noticeable patches, leaving part of his head bald and reddened from the tugging, his mouth was also bleeding, as due to one of the blows that occurred while whipping himself against the walls one of his teeth comes loose, swelling his cheek, the bandages only cover a tiny percentage of the total open and still bleeding wounds, staining himself little by little red as well. “Fluttershy!!!” they all shouted in unison, not knowing what else to do, they wanted to approach her but were stopped by the pegasus' expressionless gaze and the words she answered. “What the fuck do you want?” This puzzled them even more, abruptly breaking off their growing hysteria, Flluttershy had answered, so casually, coarse and raspy, but as if it was just another day, as if the presence of her friends and her own injured state, didn't matter to her one bit. No one could say anything for a moment, Fluttershy's condition seemed to be serious, but she didn't seem upset in the slightest, she didn't even cry, it wasn't until Twilight noticed the fact that the yellow pegasus was bleeding heavily that she stepped forward sharply. “Fluttershy by Celestia what happened to you!” Twilight tried to extend her hoof towards her friend but it was swiftly swatted away. “Don't touch me!” librarian of the second....” Twilight went cold at this, she thought Rainbow's words had been an exaggeration, but now that she had her in front of her she was beginning to question how serious the situation really was, even more so when, looking over Fluttershy's shoulder, she noticed the wreckage the house had become. “If you're just here to annoy me, you'd better leave....” the pegasus began to say as she prepared to close the door. But she was stopped dead in her tracks by Applejack, who put all her strength into reopening it to subsequently rush roughly into the enclosure. “Fluttershy!” the farm girl said firmly as she faced the pegasus ”You did all this!” Angel was tired, the shrill booming of the earth pony's voice only made his head hurt even more, this irritated him to no end, not lagging behind with his response. “And what the fuck does that matter to you?!” he exclaimed warily, despite this Applejack not backing down ”This is my fucking house and I can do whatever I want with it!” She could see the others come in behind the farm girl, making their way through the mess and broken glass, before Angel could say anything to object Applejack raised her voice again. “What about you, did you do that to yourself too!” Applejack was worried about the possible answer. “You know what peasant girl...” began Angel, inconvenienced by the irruption of her privacy ”Why don't you go back to your filthy farm and mind your own business?!” “Fluttershy what's wrong with you?” spoke Twilight with latent concern in her voice. “Darling this is terrible, if you are hurting yourself this is more serious than we thought...” continued Rarity. “Yes I...” began Rainbow ”If this is the result of us leaving you alone, we are sorry, we thought you might want some time alone after the death of...” “Shut the fuck up!!!” Angel grabbed a piece of one of the pieces of furniture and threw it through the air in the direction of the mares, who barely managed to dodge it. “Fluttershy!” exclaimed Applejack angrily ‘This is the last straw! We understand that you're sad about Angel's death but that's no reason to act crazy, nor is it a reason to attack your friends...!’ the earth pony couldn't continue with her wake-up call since she received a full blow to the face that sent her reeling backwards. Applejack looked up in surprise, she could feel the blood pooling inside her mouth, while Fluttershy remained standing in front of her, still with her hoof up, panting and sweating profusely, with every breath her wounds expelled a little more blood. “You.....are not...my friends.....you are just....the stuck-up bitches...who hung out with Fluttershy...none of you ever did the slightest thing to really understand her, you only had her by your side because you considered her your fucking pet, you didn't deserve her, nobody deserved her.... she only needed me...she was only supposed to be with me....” Angel staggered backwards, while the others exchanged glances, now of growing fear, the more time passed the more they realized that Fluttershy's physical and mental state was much worse than they had expected, what shocked them the most was the fact that the pegasus spoke in third person, she seemed completely disconnected from reality. No one knew what to do, now they feared not only for Fluttershy's well-being, but for their own, suddenly, the shattered enclosure seemed to shrink around them, girding itself about them like a bear trap, with all the furniture splintered and blood staining everywhere, finally, Twilight plucked up her courage, stepped forward and spoke in a soft tone. “Fluttershy...you're not well...” At that moment the pegasus let out a shrill and frantic laugh, it echoed throughout the place for a long moment, chilling the blood of the five mares who could only take a couple of steps back in surprise. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahaha.....Noooo, really??? What gave you the absurd idea that I'm not feeling well?” the sarcastic and extremely exaggerated tone did nothing but worry the mares even more ”Could it be my new decoration? Is it my new haircut, or my new coat style? I'm sorry, I really thought red looked better on me… ¡¡OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND KIND CREATURE ON EARTH HAS DIED, AND NONE OF YOU DAMN PONY SEEM TO CARE!!”” All of them were now trembling slightly in fear at Fluttershy's outburst, Twilight swallowed saliva trying to find words of comfort or calm for the pegasus, but she found herself completely blank minded, the situation was out of any considered parameter, it almost seemed that, the pegasus in front of her, was someone completely different. At that moment Twilight noticed that Fluttershy began to stagger, babbling unintelligibly as a large amount of blood, now, trickled down through the half-made bandages. “It's all your fault....you're all to blame...it's not my fault....” And at that moment, Angel collapsed, the exertion combined with the constant loss of blood and the lack of proper nourishment finally wiped him out, falling on the debris-strewn floor and losing consciousness, the last thing he could see and hear before his vision dimmed was the five mares approaching with frightened faces, as they screamed Fluttershy's name and tried to wake him up. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was snuggled between Fluttershy's hooves, both were lying on the grass right in the garden of the cottage, the smell of dewy flowers flooded the air and the clear sky rose prominently above them. The little rabbit was breathing with absolute peace and felt that he could stay there forever, suddenly Fluttershy's soft voice was heard over his head. “You know Angel? I know it's mean of me to say so but, out of all the creatures, you are the one I enjoy being with the most...” the pegasus let out a soft giggle. “I know...” replied Angel, who for the first time in a long time heard her old voice ‘I love spending time with you too....’ the rabbit snuggled even more, feeling the warmth of her friend's body. “But you know what would make this moment absolutely perfect Angel?” the pegasus asked, you could even feel how on her face there was a prominent smile as she said it. “What thing Fluttershy...?” asked Angel distractedly, about to fall asleep. “That you give me back what's mine....” suddenly Fluttershy's voice changed, becoming serious and somber. “Uh...what?” asked confused the rabbit, who tried to get up to see her friend's face but the firm grip of the pegasus' hooves on her small body didn't allow it. “My body Angel, I want it back...” The more she spoke the more distorted her voice became, Angel began to hyperventilate as she felt her friend slowly apply more and more force on him, threatening to crunch his fragile bones. “Agh...I, I can't, I don't know how to do it, you died, I...this can't be reversed....” “Then what!” asked Fluttershy in a furious tone ”Will you live the rest of your life pretending to be me, lying about my death until I am nothing but a vague absurd memory!!!!! Defiling my legacy by behaving like a selfish bitch?!!!” “This...this isn't my fault, I didn't cause this, it was Zecora giving us that stupid potion....” Angel felt as, once again, the air in his lungs was denied, all as his little body began to give in to the strength of Fluttershy's grip. “What about my parents, are they to blame too?!” “Yes!...if they hadn't raised you so weak ...everything would have been different, you would have known that the only one you should pay attention to was me, and we wouldn't have had to switch bodies in the first place....” “And so I'm supposed to assume that my friends are to blame too!” “They ... never understood you like I did, they never really cared about you, they didn't deserve you, I was the only one who deserved you....” Suddenly Fluttershy's grip loosened, her voice returned to normal and Angel could finally look up, finding the pegasus' tearful and devastated face. “Angel...I never thought you were such a despicable being...willing to delegate blame to all of Equestria so long as you wouldn't accept what you did....” “But I....” Angel hesitated “I didn't do anything!” “Exactly, you did nothing, you decided to take advantage of the situation and left me to my fate, knowing that a rabbit's body is fragile, and that I was likely to suffer some accident if I went on my own..... you did nothing but think of yourself as always....that's why I died...” “No, no, no, no NO! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!” “Yes you did know, but you didn't care...this is your fault Angel...” “NO!! NO NO SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!” Angel covered his ears but Fluttershy's sobs were still echoing inside his mind, he stood up suddenly and stumbled backwards, falling on the same sterile field full of sharp stones, when he looked up again he saw himself, his little rabbit body, hurt and full of dirt, like the last time he had seen him, this one was looking at him with eyes full of tears and an expression of disappointment and sadness. Angel stepped back, his breathing was ragged, drenched in sweat, feeling how the headache and the pressure in his chest were worse than ever before, it was as if his whole body was struggling to expel something from inside him, out of desperation Angel threw himself to the ground and covered his face, squeezing his forehead with all his strength trying to relieve the pain, just at that moment, he understood. The headache and the pressure in his chest, it wasn't an ordinary discomfort, no, after all, his soul was occupying a body that didn't belong to him, something that went against everything natural, and it was the body, Fluttershy's body that was rejecting him, fighting with all its might to expel him. At that moment Angel uncovered his face, noticing how he now had the yellow hooves of Fluttershy's body again, he looked up to meet her rabbit body again, now farther away from him but still staring. “I...I don't want this...” began Angel ”I don't want this torment...Please tell me there's a way to fix it!” The little rabbit did not respond, so Angel insisted again. “Please, there must be some way to bring you back, to change back!” Still no answer, now Fluttershy in Angel's body, slowly turned around and began to hop little hops moving even further away, at this he chased after her, running forward, but no matter how fast he went he couldn't seem to catch up with her. “Please don't go!!! I need you with me!!! I don't know what to do, please help me please!!!” At that moment, in the distance, Angel managed to make out something, a strange huge silhouette towering over the little rabbit and above it, a twisted form of branches that seemed to be made of crystal, adorned with six symbols that glowed in a dim glow, Angel didn't know what it was at first, but eventually he understood. Although he had never seen it in his life, he did remember what Fluttershy had told him, the tree that sprouted from the earth when Equestria needed it most, that gave birth to the palace of the princess of friendship, and, later, would become the home of the young six, the tree of harmony, at that moment, Angel woke up. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ He jumped up, out of breath and disoriented, he found himself on a hospital bed, in an empty room with a small fan hanging from the ceiling and slowly spinning, next to it was a small chest of drawers with a vase of flowers, which looked somewhat faded and through the wide window he could see how the sun was beginning to descend on the horizon. Angel inspected himself closely noticing that he could barely feel pain now, noticing how almost his entire body had been covered with white cotton bandages, he couldn't help but feel strange noticing that it resembled the fur he used to have on his old body, being able to feel a cramp in his stomach, he also realized that all of his remaining mane and tail had been shaved off completely, leaving him completely bald except for his fur. It took him a moment to finally process what had happened, recalling the very unpleasant sight, turning it over and over in his head. Had it really been real, had he really talked to Fluttershy, and more importantly, was there really a chance to fix this? Before he could even give her an answer to any of these questions he heard footsteps approaching down the hallway, for a brief moment he panicked, what should he do, he needed time to think, just when he heard the footsteps stop right in front of the door of his room, Angel decided to lie back on the bed, closing his eyes and partially covering himself with the sheet. A doctor opened the door to the room cautiously, inspecting the room for a moment, noticing the yellow pegasus still asleep on the bed, nodding slightly and closing the door again, starting to talk to the ponies in front of her in the hallway. “She's still sedated, I'm sorry I don't think she's going to wake up for a few hours...” “And she's going to be okay doctor..?” Twilight's worried voice was heard. “As far as her wounds are concerned, she will be fine, luckily none of them got infected, we removed the needles that were stuck in her, along with the shards of glass and cleaned everything properly...” “And, what about the other thing doctor, did you talk about his...mental health?” This time it was Rainbow who asked. “Well, if what I'm told is true, and she did that to herself, I'm afraid we might be dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder...” “And what in Celestia's name is that?” asked Applejack in confusion. “It is a mental disorder provoked as a reaction to an extremely unpleasant or violent event or situation, such as accidents, loss of loved ones or sexual assaults, they are usually the trigger for a multitude of erratic behaviors, such as extreme irritability or self-harm in the most severe cases... I couldn't say for sure as I would have to evaluate her, but from what I am told about her behavior and the state of her house, it could very well be that...” “And what can we do doctor... please tell us...” said Rarity trying to hold back her tears. “Well, as I tell you I would have to do a psychological evaluation to know exactly what state she is in, depending on how that evaluation turns out we will determine the steps to follow for her recovery... if it can be achieved...” “What do you mean?” asked Pinkie Pie who had a deflated mane and a devastated expression on her face. “I'll be honest with you...” the doctor sighed for a long time before continuing ”I've never seen anything like that in my life, someone capable of hurting himself in such a... grotesque and horrible way, besides, you told me that he spoke in third person, as if he wasn't present...” “Yes doctor, that's exactly how it was....” answered Twilight. “I won't give you false hopes, at best he may have to undergo a very rigorous psychiatric treatment, with medication and constant monitoring...” “And in the worst case scenario...?” the purple alicorn asked somewhat fearfully. The doctor took a moment to respond. “Well...in the worst case scenario she would have to be committed to a mental institution, where she will be kept sedated and under lock and key, until we can guarantee that she is stable enough not to represent a danger to others and to herself...” The words hit like an uncontrolled race, the five friends felt dizzy and with a slight ringing in their ears, there was a long silence, at this the doctor cleared her throat and scratched her head slightly. “Well...I, I, I'll leave you two to talk it over...” With that said she walked away down the hallway, getting lost as she rounded a corner. They all had to sit on one of the benches in the hallway to think about this, keeping their eyes straight ahead until Applejack raised her voice in distress. “I can't believe it...all this over the death of her rabbit?” “It's obvious that we underestimated what Angel's death meant to Fluttershy, it's obvious that it affected her more than any of us could have imagined...” Twilight replied. “We should have stayed with her...we shouldn't have left her alone in her cabin...” spoke Rainbow with a few tears streaming down her face. “I don't know what we were thinking...because we thought Fluttershy could get through something like mourning alone?” Rarity said with shame and regret in her voice. “If only I had thrown her a going away party for Angel, I'm sure she would have felt better....” Pinkie said dejectedly. “What are we going to do now?” asked Applejack looking at Twilight, being mimicked by the others. The alicorn was pensive, it had only been a few days since they buried the little rabbit, she didn't understand how Fluttershy had seen her sanity shaken in such a short time, she couldn't help but think that maybe there was something else at the bottom of this, but her thoughts were interrupted by the farm pony's questioning, turning to look at her and answering as best she could. “We will do what we should have done from the beginning, we will support Fluttershy by staying by her side, we will accompany her throughout her healing process and we will not stop reminding her that we will always be there for her...that's what good friends do...” They all nodded at the idea, it was true, they had to do what was best for Fluttershy, help her in everything she needed and ultimately take care of her now in her most vulnerable moment. “You're right Twilight...” started to say Applejack ‘We have to show Fluttershy that she's not alone, I could, as soon as she gets out of the hospital, repair her cabin, remodel it a bit so that when she comes back she'll feel at home again’ she exclaimed enthusiastically. “And me, I could make her a new outfit, one that will help her to...well, to cover her new scars, I'm sure it will help her to feel better, at least to not have to think about them...” said Rarity somewhat doubtful. “Me, I think I should be the one to spend more time with her...” started Rainbow ”I'm the one who has known her the longest and I think, out of me she feels the most betrayed...” Dash was downcast still remembering the string of insults that Fluttershy had dedicated to her. “I think I could take over some of the administrative duties at her sanctuary for a while, so there won't be any problems when she comes back to take care of the animals” Twilight said. “And me, I'll make sure she enjoys a different dessert every day, so she'll remember how much she enjoys good food!” exclaimed Pinkie regaining her smile. “Great girls, I'm sure that with our help Fluttershy will be able to pull through. and you know what would be an excellent first step?” Twilight paused waiting for all her friends to look at her curiously ”That the first thing Fluttershy would see when she wakes up would be the faces of her best friends...” They all agreed, getting up and walking towards the door of Fluttershy's room, despite everything when they arrived they couldn't help feeling nervous, as much as they wanted to deny it, they really had been frightened by the pegasus' behavior, they feared for her safety for an instant, and they didn't know if they could face her sincerely enough. Even so, and after a moment to take courage the five friends nodded and Twilight opened the door slowly, sighing and preparing a reassuring smile, but that intention was violently stopped, when noticing how the window of the room was open and the bed, completely empty.
Chapter 5: Meat.Both the hospital staff and Fluttershy's friends roamed the streets of the town in a desperate search for who they believed to be Fluttershy, going door to door asking the neighboring ponies for help, little by little until suddenly it was an angry mob of hysterics looking everywhere for the pegasus. They checked every corner, every nook and cranny, but there was no trace, not even any clue as to where Fluttershy might have headed. “Oh my Celestia, what shall we do now?” asked Rarity in anguish as she shone her horn to illuminate an alleyway. “I have no idea...” began Twilight who with her magic was lifting carts, barrels and anything else where she thought her friend might be hiding ”All I know is that we must help Fluttershy...” “But how!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash who was returning from flying over the surroundings ”We don't even know where she went!” “She couldn't have gone far, you heard the doctor, her injuries were severe...I don't even understand how she could have gotten out of bed....” said Applejack. “There's something about this hide and seek game that I don't like...” began Pinkie Pie ”Fluttershy doesn't even like hide and seek...” “And she doesn't like absolute solitude either....” said Rarity. “Nor eating carrots like cookies...” Spoke Rainbow. “Nor destroying her house, or hurting herself...since Angel died it's almost as if...” said Applejack. “That's right...!” suddenly exclaimed Twilight drawing everyone's attention ”Fluttershy isn't trying to hide, she just wants to go home...” At that moment it dawned on them all, immediately starting to run in the direction of the pegasus hut on the outskirts of the city. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was sitting in front of Fluttershy's grave, with his eyes fixed on the ground, his bandages little by little were stained red by his newly opened wounds, noticing how the little cotton buds had already started to show through the soil, at that moment the doubt invaded him, wondering if he was really going to do this, why, because a dream told him so, what was the logic of it? It was stupid to think that Fluttershy could come back as if it was nothing, maybe he should just go away, forget about this or maybe, just maybe, he should consider letting it all end. After all, the pain he felt inside was unbearable, he didn't want to keep enduring the rejection of his friend's body towards his soul, he was so tired, he just wanted to rest. Just as that last thought was about to consume him there was a high pitched rumble, there was a flash of white behind him and then a voice was heard, irritating and shrill, with a touch of haughtiness, if Angel was paying attention, it wouldn't have taken him a second to guess who it was. Discord was at the main entrance of the hut, knocking on the door with exaggerated enthusiasm, the draconequus was dressed in an elf costume and carried on his back an impossible number of bags from which fantasy figures and posters protruded. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! I'm back from my trip to the ogres and dungeons convention, and I know it's late but I couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you all about it...!” Discord waited for a moment for his friend to respond, noticing the visible deterioration on the outside of the cabin, though instead of worrying he thought it was due to Fluttershy remodeling, making an hourglass appear on his wrist and getting impatient before exclaiming again and knocking on the door with even more impetus. “Hellowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Fluttershy, are you in there?” Angel didn't even deign to pay attention to him, deciding to stay perfectly still as his own mind turned over on itself, fracturing with every thought. It wasn't until Discord began to fly over the house, finding himself with every window blocked that he finally noticed that, the yellow pegasus, was sitting in the middle of his garden, her back to him and hunched over. “Oh! Fluttershy, there you are!” The draconequus flew in Angel's direction, who made no gesture to acknowledge Discord's presence, just remained silent. “What are you doing? Oh no, don't tell me tell me, you're meditating aren't you...?” Discord's buffoonish tone faltered for a second as he noticed the state of the pegasus, bruised, bald and covered in bandages that, at this point, were beginning to peel off due to the amount of blood saturating them, he also noticed how Fluttershy kept her gaze fixed on the small mound of earth from where the small sprouts were visible. “Oh...are you keeping your gaze fixed so that the flowers in your garden will grow faster...?” again, there was no answer ‘Fluttershy...are you all right?’ Discord shrank down, to a tiny size, standing on the mound of earth and looking directly into Fluttershy's eyes, to his strangeness the pegasus' gaze remained lost, as if looking beyond what was in front of her, or as if she was blind. Suddenly Discord's carefree attitude disappeared completely, his expression twisted into a worried grimace, as he saw how, in his friend's eyes, there was no trace of her. Discord didn't know what to do, he didn't understand what was going on, why Fluttershy's current state, his unhinged head was literally and figuratively spinning over itself trying to find some reason, he didn't know why, but something didn't feel right. “Fluttershy...” Discord, still small, waved his claw in front of the pegasus' face, he even dared to nip her nose lightly, nothing, not a single change. The draconequus then began to panic, it was like talking to a potato, and even a potato was more talkative, even more was the bewilderment when the first bandages began to fall from the pegasus' body, completely soaked with blood, then, in a moment of genius, Discord thought that, the reason why his friend was sad was because her plants don't grow fast enough, so, snapping his fingers as he stepped back, he suddenly made all the cotton buds grow into a lush layer of foliage on the mound of dirt. That finally made Angel react and he let out a horrible scream as he suddenly saw his vision completely saturated with white, falling backwards and feeling pain when his back hit the ground. “Jojojojojo there you are!” exclaimed Discord with relief ”I thought you went on a trip and didn't tell me...” Angel then was again overcome with a familiar emotion, seeing Discord's now normal sized” smiling and sneering face ignited his anger like never before, all the people who had been annoying so far, yes maybe Angel had misunderstood them, he may have even been wrong to yell at them but Discord, Discord the most despicable and ridiculous being, to whom for some reason Fluttershy opened the doors, not only of his home, if not more recently of his heart, was the ultimate exponent of what was wrong with everyone. Everyone was to blame, Discord, Fluttershy's stupid friends, the asshole at the carrot stand, the animals and the sanctuary staff, Zecora's bitch, they were all fucking to blame. Why couldn't everything have stayed the way it was before, just him and Fluttershy, the two of them, alone, against the world, so it was perfect, why couldn't everything just stay...perfect? He wasn't to blame, he wasn't to blame, how could he have been to blame, he who was always so kind and considerate to Fluttershy, yes, he demanded her to take care of him, but that was what he deserved, a perfect life where his every whim was instantly fulfilled, Fluttershy should take care of him only, she should only be with him, she belonged to him, and he gets her back, no matter what the cost. “You...” began Angel as a whisper. “Yes! Me!” exclaimed Discord with an explosion of confetti ”I've already arranged your flowers, now I suggest we go inside and make some tea so I can tell you about my journey, see it all started when...” “YOU!” Angel vociferated as he violently got up from the floor. “Emmm...yeah, me, you said that already...” replied Discord quizzically, thinking about what was bothering her friend now, again coming to a strange conclusion ”Oh I get it...you're upset because you got careless while staring at your flowers, don't worry I can fix that too...” A snap of the fingers and suddenly all of Angel's wounds closed, healing instantly, his fur regained its usual yellow glow and his mane and tail grew back instantly, Angel could barely process what had happened when Discord exclaimed again, making a huge mirror appear in front of him. “See? Fixed...” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Angel let out a nightmarish shriek at the sight of the reflection that, for so many days, he had avoided facing again, more so now that before him stood the living image of Fluttershy, as neat and radiant as he remembered her, he quickly jumped back, covering his face with his hooves, through the gaps left by the bandages that had fallen off he could see how her scars had become mere faint marks, hidden almost completely by new fur. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” He began tearing off huge chunks of mane and tail, pulling with all his might as he tore at the rest of his bandages, looking for some clear mark of his passage through that stolen body. Now Discord if he was scared, he thought for an instant that he had made a mistake with his transformation, accidentally turning Fluttershy into Anti Fluttershy, but no, it wasn't possible since not even Anti Fluttershy would act in such an erratic and visceral way, now he was convinced that something was terribly wrong. Without hardly thinking about it Discord did the only thing he could think of, he threw himself forward and tried to hug Fluttershy, but his attempt was stopped because, as soon as Angel realized the draconequus' intentions, he launched a powerful blow, one that hit Discord's face, who didn't expect something like that, and even though the blow didn't hurt the chaos lord in any way, it left him cold and without knowing what to think. Finally Angel stood up, focusing his thoughts again on Discord, his face full of tears and his new hair a half-ripped mess. “You're just a pathetic asshole...!!!” he began to say to Discord's incredulous gaze ”That's why no one else wanted you!!! And who else would if you're just a fucking asshole!!! Look at you you're just a ridiculously immature and fucking arrogant prick, I've never met anyone more miserable, inattentive and stupidly unbearable, ever in my entire fucking life!!!!! And I'll tell you what, I can't believe I ever even considered spreading my fucking legs for you because you would have never even aspired to be worthy!!!!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP I WANTED WITH YOU AND MOTHERFUCKER I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'LL DIE ALONE, BUT THAT'S THE BIGGEST JOKE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DIE AND ALL OF FUCKING EXISTENCE WILL FOREVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU!!!” He could feel the screams tearing at his throat, damaging it permanently, yet he didn't care, neither did he care to spit spit spit like a rabid dog or open his eyes so wide that they seemed to pop out of their sockets. Discord just remained silent, this wasn't funny anymore, he couldn't understand the joke behind this, and he really hoped it was a joke, just a cruel joke from a pony that, so far, had proved to be the kindest, calmest and most beautiful pony he had ever, in his thousands of years of life, met, and, without knowing very well why, Discord started to cry, his tears were multicolored and seemed to be made of water, gas and ice at the same time. And at this gesture of vulnerability never seen before, Angel could do nothing but let out a mocking laugh, accompanied by a new raspy voice. “What's the matter, don't you have anything to say...lord of chaos?” Discord, for the first time in his life, didn't move, didn't say anything and didn't react, he could only watch as Angel walked circuitously to the cotton mound, plunged his hooves into the earth violently and plucked a small half unraveled box from the earth, putting it under his wing and slowly walking away in the direction of the forest. The draconequus watched it slowly move away, until it was lost in the tree line, still devastated, finally the chaos lord snapped his fingers again and disappeared into thin air. Just in the next second, lights were seen approaching in the distance, the five friends approached the hut with Twilight in the lead. “Fluttershy!” called the alicorn as she knocked on the door ”We know you're in there, please come out, let us help you!” This time, receiving no answer, Twilight didn't stay expectant, flashing her horn, and with a powerful magical lightning bolt, knocked down the door of the hut in the blink of an eye. They quickly made their way into the hut, making their way through the mess and searching everywhere, it only took them a couple of minutes, even Rainbow Dash when they finished went outside looking for clues. Twilight was standing in front of what was once Fluttershy's perfectly tidy and clean room, now turned into a half-destroyed and smelly dump, the violet mare was really starting to ask herself serious questions in her thoughts about her pegasus friend's mental state, the level of degeneration her life had taken since the loss of her rabbit had her perplexed, it couldn't be due solely to Angel's death, there had to be something else, some other trigger, before she could come to a feasible conclusion Applejack's voice called to her from downstairs. “Twilight come quick, Rainbow found something!” Once outside Twilight could see what it was, there was a prominent pool of dried blood in the dirt next to where Angel had been buried, the mound of dirt and the previously intact cotton balls were now a shapeless empty hole, of the small box there was no trace. “But what the hell?” The alicorn asked incredulously. “Why would Fluttershy do something so ...horrible?” asked Rarity feeling sick to her stomach. “I don't know, this doesn't make sense anymore, maybe...maybe that doctor was right...” began Applejack ”Maybe, she doesn't know what she's doing anymore...” “Look!” suddenly exclaimed Pinkie. Turning in the direction the pink mare was pointing, noticing how the dirt from the destroyed grave swirled in one direction, as if someone had walked over it, creating a faint path adorned with tufts of light pink hair, a path that led into the Everfree Forest. “Rainbow, look for her...” commanded Twilight to the pegasus who didn't take a second to rise into the air and start flying over the treetops ”All the others, follow me.” Twilight was frightened, her logical and pragmatic mind would not allow her to see beyond the blunt facts in front of her, unfortunately these facts pointed to a terrible conclusion, her friend was losing herself, this thought slowly took hold of her as she flew deeper into the tree line. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault, Not my fault...” Angel repeated over and over again under his breath as he made his way through the undergrowth, he still remembered the occasion when Fluttershy took him to the two sisters' castle so he had a slight idea where to head, stumbling awkwardly from time to time his vision was partially blocked by a lock of her newly grown mane, making him irritated and causing him to tear that lock out with an angry yank, dropping it on the ground, creating a trail behind him without realizing it. He could feel the small box slowly crumbling under his wing, he tried to ignore the sensation of something cold and stiff brushing against his feathers, keeping his eyes straight ahead and his goal clear, finally, and after walking for what seemed like hours Angel reached his destination. Before him stood the imposing ruins of the once abandoned palace, he could see its silhouette illuminated by the glow of the moon, pausing only for a moment to appreciate the panorama before him, quickly, he set out down the dirt path that descended into the ravine at the side of the castle, vividly recalling the stories Fluttershy had told him, of the mythical cavern where the tree of harmony had sprouted. He walked torturously, he could feel the pressure in his chest as if an anvil was crushing him, if his stomach still had something inside Angel he was sure he would be vomiting at that moment, the headache had reached such an extent that his vision had been reduced until he could only see what was in front of him, the rest was darkness, the ringing in his ears did not allow him to hear even his own thoughts and every step felt as if his hooves were going to break under their own weight. For a moment he felt disoriented, the only thing he could see around him was rock and earth, he began to walk in circles in desperation, he could not find the cave, his breathing, already irregular, began to be shallow and frantic, a tide of thoughts was coming at him, invading him in all directions, memories of his former life, memories of Fluttershy, all the anger he had felt since her death and all those he had hurt, he remembered the faces of Fluttershy's parents, devastated and tearful, the faces of old friends bewildered and disappointed, why should he go through all that? He just wanted a little more attention, he just wanted, to show Fluttershy how much he needed her, he, he wanted Fluttershy to feel what he felt, he wanted her to experience that helplessness, that dependence, maybe so, she finally understood that nothing in this world mattered more than him. Angel stumbled on a rock, losing his balance and falling face to the ground, in an abrupt attempt to avoid the fall he shook his wings violently, causing the tender package he was carrying to fall and scatter all over the ground, despite this the attempt was useless and Angel crashed against the dry earth, so hard that he could feel his nose breaking from the impact. For an instant he thought about just staying there, it would be so simple, turning on his belly to see that, somehow, he was already in front of the entrance of the cave, but the sudden surprise was soon overshadowed by a terror that filled Angel with agony, as he noticed how, a few meters away from him, covered with earth, was his old body half decomposed, he could see how the bones already protruded from the dry flesh and how what used to be his face was deformed into a stretched grimace of skin and empty sockets. Angel couldn't help but let out a scream, pulling away as far as he could from the little corpse, which, due to Discord's magic, was sprouting roots with little cotton buds. “NO! NO! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!!!” He covered his face, he could feel as if his ribs were compressing in on themselves, as if every fiber of skin, muscle and every bone in his body was being squeezed in an attempt to get rid of him, he wasn't welcome, Fluttershy's body didn't want him, it knew who he was, and what he had done, Angel could only writhe on the floor in agony as the pressure only increased, until he finally managed to muster enough strength to speak. “Please...I'm here to fix it, .I...I came here because I want to fix it....” The pain didn't go away, but suddenly he could notice something beyond his vision, it was a sensation like no other, so powerful that it almost overcame the torment, Angel removed his hooves from his face, noticing that, although he couldn't see anything, that sensation was like a kind of tugging, like the one he had been experiencing in his nightmares,only this time's was gentle, like a caress, and at that moment ANgel knew, this was what he had come for, a chance to fix everything. Slowly, very slowly, she began to walk towards the cave, barely lifting the small corpse from the ground, little by little she went inside and advanced among the rocks and moss, deeper and deeper letting herself be surrounded by the shadows, and for the first time since Fluttershy's death, Angel felt absolutely nothing. There was no pain, no thoughts, not even the feeling of discomfort to which he had already got used to, it was like ceasing to exist, Angel took a big breath of air, only to corroborate that, indeed, he was still breathing, he simply let himself be carried away by the pull, he followed it until it stopped, in the deepest part of the cave. For an instant nothing happened, but the next moment, a light manifested itself, it was faint, barely perceptible, but Angel could see it, feel it and hear it, it was as if the light was crawling under his hooves, this hypothesis was proven the next moment when the earth opened, right in front of him, revealing something that, at first, he could not understand. It was as if a flower bud sprouted from the ground, but it was made of pure crystal, glowing in a pinkish hue that gradually illuminated everything around it, the bud stretched upwards slowly, Angel could only stand still watching the impossible spectacle before his eyes, seeing how the bud grew into a bud and how the bud gave way to a pink cotton flower. He opened his eyes, beyond what he ever thought possible, for an instant, the beauty of the plant made him forget everything, all the discomfort, all the helplessness, all the sadness, it was as if, before him, all the discord in the world had vanished in the blink of an eye. What happened next, however, would break something forever, inside Angel's soul, something in him would change, never to be seen again. Before his incredulous gaze, the light given off by the plant intensified and, impossibly, right in front of him, a transparent image of Fluttershy was projected in the air, exactly like the last memory Angel had of her, her fur a little dirty from the arduous morning she had in the sanctuary, her mane slightly disheveled due to how he himself had hung on it in an attempt to get her attention and her soft dark circles under her eyes, product of a bad night's sleep. On her face was reflected a sweet smile accompanied by the characteristic glow in the eyes of the pegasus, at this Angel could feel tears begin to run down his cheeks, she was as beautiful as he remembered her, but his appreciation and all his nostalgic thoughts, came crashing down when the ghostly projection before him opened her mouth to speak, triggering an event, which will determine the rise or fall from grace of the tortured soul of the rabbit. “Hello Angel, I'm so glad, to see you again.”
Chapter 6: Soul.Rainbow Dash flew over the forest, very fast and back and forth, frantically searching for Fluttershy, her mind going even faster, filling her with catastrophic and horrible ideas about what could be happening to Fluttershy, she could feel the tears building up and blurring her vision little by little, brushing them aside with her hooves. In a moment the pegasus glimpsed movement in her peripheral vision, turning to glimpse the outskirts of the two sisters' castle from above, fleetingly noticing a silhouette crawling through the dirt, it took her a moment to realize that it was Fluttershy, without her bandages and with her fur recovered, the pegasus was so confused that for a second she thought she was hallucinating, but there was no doubt once she saw her friend walking towards the cave of the ancient enclosure of the tree of harmony. For an instant Rainbow considered the idea of going, flying right then and there and stopping her friend in whatever she was doing, but she surprised herself by running headlong into a wall of fear and uncertainty, not only because of the idea of what she might encounter if she decided to face it alone, but also because she didn't know what Fluttershy would be able to do in her current state. Faced with this the pegasus decided to turn around and look for the rest of her friends, she already knew where her friend was, so she would bring all the help she could, speeding up so much and so fast that a faint rumble echoed throughout the forest. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was beyond words, he was unable to define what it was he felt, it was as if all his emotions were mixed in a silent typhoon, but he could taste a mixture of deep relief and overwhelming terror, the direct sight of Fluttershy's reflection in front of him both hoped and disturbed him. It took him an agonizing minute to convince himself that this wasn't just another nightmare, checking his breathing and feeling his heartbeat, it was all real, it was happening, he really was going to be able to fix all of this. “Flu.....Fluttershy...” he finally said as a hoarse, choked whisper. “Yes Angel, I'm glad you came...” the smile on Fluttershy's face remained unchanging, her gaze was a mixture of nostalgia and melancholy that Angel could feel it digging into him ”And I also know why you're here...” “I...I...” He couldn't say anything, no matter how hard he tried, for a second Angel seemed to remember what it was like to be a voiceless rabbit. “And I see you're bringing your old body...” continued Fluttershy seeing the corpse's head sticking out between the feathers ”That may have been something extreme, but I understand that desperation didn't let you think...” Angel, not knowing why, began to laugh, at first as a simple hiss to himself but soon found himself laughing out loud uncontrollably, despite this Fluttershy didn't denote any gesture of concern or intrigue, waiting patiently for Angel's neurotic outburst to end. Oddly enough it was this very outburst that allowed Angel to finally break free from the physical block he was feeling, finally managing to form coherent words. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! sorry HAHAHA!!!.....I'm sorry, it's just...HAHAHA! you're here, I can't believe you're really here...” Angel took a couple of steps forward, letting himself be illuminated by the dim glow given off by the disembodied apparition “I hehe..for a second I thought I had lost my mind haha!...but you're real, not just a delirium brought on by pain..... you don't know the relief I feel...” At that moment Angel could notice how Fluttershy's smile seemed to wane just for a second, which made him nervous, the fragile relief and joy he felt threatened to shatter like a single piece of glass, which inevitably made him ask hurriedly. “What...what's wrong...if you're really here aren't you? You came back to help me didn't you...?” Fluttershy was silent for a moment, increasing Angel's tension, searching for the right words. “Yes Angel...” she finally answered ”Yes I am here, though not quite me, and yes, I have come to help you, but the quality of that help will depend entirely on you...” “What?” Angel began to tremble ”What do you mean, what do you mean, what do you mean you're not quite you, what do you mean you can't give me quality help, no! NO! NO! NO!!! you have to help me, that's why you're here, you must help me!” Fluttershy seemed to ignore the rising desperation in Angel's voice as she resumed her speaking, silencing his frantic ravings. “I am as bewildered as you are, but, such it seems, when I died that day, part of my spirit was drawn to this place, to the roots that once glowed with the strength of the elements of harmony...” “But...why, how?” interrupted Angel. “The element of kindness sensed my fear, my anguish, for leaving everyone behind, for abandoning everything I built, and more importantly, my concern for you...” Angel began to regain hope, if that was true, then his wish to fix everything could be a reality, everything could go back to how it was before, yes possibly Fluttershy on her return would have some explaining to do, but everything quickly resume its natural course, and more importantly, he would no longer have to endure and face this torment. “However...” suddenly said Fluttershy, interrupting Angel's thoughts ”There is no magic powerful enough on this earth to preserve the souls of the departed, whatever the remnant of my element did, I only keep an echo, a shadow, the mere memory of a wish too ephemeral and too strong...” “That...what does that mean?” she asked again, trying to keep her composure. Fluttershy again took a moment to answer. “I don't have much time left Angel, I used much of the magic of this place just to be able to bring you here, now my existence on this plane hangs by a thread, it's only a matter of time before I fade away like snow when spring comes...” “But...but, you said you were going to help me that's why you brought me here isn't it, so you could go back to your body and return me to mine...” Angel stretched his wings forward, holding the rabbit's body right in front of Fluttershy, in a pleading gesture “You can fix this can't you?” Due to the movement the carcass had already started to fall apart, one of its hind legs had detached and the stomachs had split open revealing half-decomposed guts and entrails, to Angel's horror Fluttershy gently shook her head. “I'm so sorry Angel, but as I told you, there is no power or magic in this world that can preserve a life already lost...” “THEN HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME!” Angel exploded in rage, yet Fluttershy didn't flinch “YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME, YOU WOULD FIX IT!!!” “What I said, was that I would give you my help, but that help depended entirely on your cooperation...” “AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!” Angel threw the little corpse angrily against the ground, it burst and scattered everywhere, staining the ground with dried blood ”YOU JUST BROUGHT ME HERE TO MOCK ME!!! YOU JUST WANT TO MOCK MY FUCKING MISERY!!! YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE REAL FLUTTERSHY!!!” “ANGEL!” The voice echoed and made the whole cave shudder, sending an icy pang through Angel's body, he could feel how his blood seemed to turn to ice, for the first time, since he had been trapped in that body, someone stood up to him. “What are you saying, how dare you even hint at something like that!” Fluttershy's voice was firm, but it didn't reflect any kind of anger or fury behind “After everything you've been through, and the people you've hurt, you still dare to yell at me, as if you can still demand something from me!” Angel just froze, unable to look away, though for a second he seemed to perceive the illumination of the cave dimming, giving way to the overwhelming darkness, suddenly the cold feeling dissipated and the brightness returned to normal after a moment of silence Fluttershy let out a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment. “You..you don't even deserve to be helped, even when you had a chance to make things right, you just lied and were cruel to everyone...” “They...” began Angel as he again felt his voice returning ” They are to blame! They weren't able to see the loss they had suffered, they acted like it was nothing!” “And how exactly would I know what they had lost if you never told them?” interrupted Fluttershy, making Angel hesitate and stutter in his answer. “I uh...I didn't.... them They acted like my death didn't matter to them, to them I was just a stupid rabbit, they were more concerned with how you felt than mourning me!” “They were worried about me because they believed I was still alive, they were worried because they knew you meant a lot to me, again I'm telling you, if you expected a reaction more in line with how you felt why didn't you tell them?” “I...I.... They wouldn't have believed me!” “And why not? I'm sure if they went to Zecora she could have clarified what happened...” “That's another one, the damn zebra, she's to blame for all this, she gave us that fucking potion...!” “An option we both requested, we were both looking for a better way to understand each other...” “Yeah but ....She didn't tell us we'd switch bodies!” “No, she didn't, but she didn't need to, we both understood what had happened instantly, what was left was up to us, and you decided to be irresponsible and selfish...” “And if you knew that why the hell didn't you stop me!” “I had your body Angel, I was small, weak, helpless to the world around me, a feeling you were supposed to understand properly How exactly did you want me to stop you?” “I...I don't know, you, you went to see Zecora why didn't you ask her to fix it?” “She couldn't understand me Angel, no one could, she was trapped, just like you are now...” Fluttershy paused, her look suddenly reflected a deep distress and a slight touch of helplessness before continuing “I was so scared, I didn't know the limits of my new body and by the time I knew something was wrong, it was too late Do you have any idea, the panic and pain I experienced? I died, Angel, I was torn from this reality abruptly and prematurely, agonizing and unable to scream for help...” “I...I didn't want that to happen, I...I just wanted to teach you a lesson, I wanted you to see how horrible my life was without your care, without the life of luxury I deserved...” Angel saw an opportunity and was emboldened again, raising his voice “You had forgotten me! You cast me aside for filthy, stupid zoo animals! I accepted you having more pets when it was just your cabin because the wretches used to return to the filthy forest when they no longer needed you, but a sanctuary, those fuckers took advantage and took you away from me!” “Is that really what you think?” “Yes I do believe that, and I don't care what crap you say, the mistake was yours not mine, for trusting that zebra for having those stupid friends, for getting involved with a jerk who turns the sky into cotton candy, for having such mediocre parents and leading a life so full of responsibilities when the only thing you should care about was me! ME AND ONLY ME YOU HEAR ME, NOTHING ELSE IN THIS LIFE SHOULD HAVE MATTERED MORE TO YOU THAN ME, BUT YOU WANTED MORE, YOU WANTED TO ASPIRE TO GREATNESS WHEN YOU DIDN'T DESERVE IT, YOU WERE JUST A COWARDLY OPPORTUNIST WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS BETTER JUST FOR HANGING OUT WITH PONIES WHO WERE WORTH IT, YOU WERE MINE, YOU WERE MINE, ONLY MINE AND THEY ALL JUST TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!” There was silence for a long moment, Angel gasped catching his breath at the uneasy look of Fluttershy, who seemed extremely disturbed by the profligate profanity coming from the host of her former body, she let out another sigh and, to Angel's surprise, the faint glimmer of a tear fell down Fluttershy's transparent face, immediately applying Angel's blind fury which changed his face to one of disbelief. “Angel...I'm sorry...” She paused as he was suddenly extremely confused “I never realized all the damage I was doing to you by spoiling you like that, it's just that, you were my first pet, my first friend, before anyone else, you were there when I barely managed to get out of bed, when I could barely make myself noticed...” “What?” she asked as a whisper. “I guess I thought that if I didn't take enough care of you, you'd get away from me...” said Fluttershy, more to herself than to Angel ”I never thought that could make you bad, yes you got a little fussy but I figured that could be changed with time, I thought I could teach you to be better.... but I think I just got used to it...it wasn't until my life and perspective expanded that I realized how unhealthy it was for both of us, I think that's why I distanced myself over time, but you're right, I should have been direct and told you instead of just ignoring it and waiting for you to accept it...” Angel suddenly felt bewildered, he was expecting something, anything to contradict him, for Fluttershy to give rise to an argument with screaming and yelling, instead, before him he could see the stoic attitude of his caretaker deteriorating, filling with tears and turning her head to cover herself, it took him a long moment to finally pull himself together,take a step closer and speak doubtfully. “Fluttershy...” he extended a hoof, in an attempt to wipe the tears from the pegasus' face, but it did nothing but pass through as if there was nothing there, only for the next moment the light emitting from the crystal flower to dim just a little. The projection looked up slightly at the gesture, giving a new look, now of deep sadness. “Angel...” she said as she stood firmly before him again ”We're running out of time...” “What, no! No! Wait, there must be a way to fix this, I...I, I can find the princesses or Discord, they can save you! They can bring you back, I don't care if I...” “Angel...” interrupted Fluttershy ”I'm gone, there's nothing left to save...” “Then why did you bring me back!!! why did you say you could help me? If you can't come back then how are you going to help me?” “I brought you here to help you yes, with something you've been struggling with since my death, something that has haunted you day and night, and that, if you don't resolve, will haunt you for the rest of your, now, new life...your guilt.” Angel felt as if the whole weight of the world was falling on him, he felt his hooves weak and his lungs empty, sweat began to bead on his fur and his eyes widened enormously. “What, guilt, me?...I, no, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about, none of this is my fault...” “Angel don't you see? You may have lost me, but that, instead of limiting the time you have left forever has put a wonderful opportunity in front of you...” “What are you talking about?” “You have my body Angel, the healthy body of a young mare, you are no longer a helpless rabbit trapped in the constraints of your simple existence, you have the chance to start over, a new life, wherever and however you want...” “But...but what about your life? your responsibilities? your family and friends?...” “My life is over Angel, you have no obligation to them...or to me...” Angel didn't understand anything Why was this happening? Why was Fluttershy doing this to him? Was it all some kind of perverse game? What if it wasn't and he was being serious? “But...they would have to know...” “Yes Angel, you'll have some explaining to do, accept that, like me, you're partly to blame for what happened...” He still refused to accept it, he tried to repeat the same thing over and over again in his mind, that he wasn't to blame, but with every word that came out of Fluttershy's mouth the more that facade fell. “They will hate me...” he finally said. “Yes, maybe they do, maybe they won't forgive you, but maybe they understand...” “But, your body, it doesn't want me, it's been trying to expel me ever since I arrived...” “Are you sure about that?” Angel gave a very deep confused and distressed look, at the same time noticing that the twinge in his chest and headache were slowly returning. “My body has no will of its own Angel, it's just a shell, I think, the reason for your discomfort, is more because you don't feel worthy to inhabit my body, deep down, deep down in your soul, behind all that anger, there is a deep wound, full of sadness and regret...” Fluttershy paused, feeling how the magic that keeps her attached to this world was fading, looking carefully at Angel's confused face and reflecting before continuing “Angel, please don't get confused, it is not my intention to make you feel you have the obligation to live, after all, it is your life and you are free to do with it what you wish, I know you have suffered, and I won't lie to you, if you decide to stay here, the suffering and pain will continue to accompany you, maybe forever, of that I have no doubt.... and yet, I firmly believe that if you try, you can find a way to face it, overcome it and live...” Angel had begun to shed tears uncontrollably, he wanted to return to the anger, he wanted to let the anger push the sadness away, but it didn't come, there was no relief, just, and after so long, he allowed himself to feel. “But...but...” he finally said ”Why would I have to live? What would be my purpose?” “I'm sorry, that's for you to find out, I just hope that when you do...” Fluttershy gave him her beautiful smile again “That purpose will give you reason to smile...” At that moment, and to Angel's horror, Fluttershy's silhouette began to fade, little by little and even at an accelerated pace. “What? No, No No! What's wrong?” “Time's up...” said Fluttershy in a distant, intermittent voice. “No! No! No! No! Wait!” Angel stretched towards Fluttershy, trying to grab her with his hooves but they, again, went back through the ”Don't go please! Stay with me! It wasn't true all that I said, it WASN'T TRUE! I'm proud of the life you've built, how happy and radiant you've become, the friendships you've made and the love you've found! I'm sorry I was a burden, I'm sorry I was cruel to you, I'm sorry I made you feel like you were nothing! Take this body back, I don't care if I have to die in return, I don't care, you deserve this life more than I do, you deserve to walk again, to fly, to laugh, to smile...!” Angel sobbed uncontrollably, he couldn't breathe properly or do anything, he just watched helplessly as Fluttershy's silhouette became just a dull blur in the air, the crystal flower contracted back to the ground, withering away as the last vestiges of magic disappeared “Please...I need you, it wasn't true what I said, you don't belong to me...I belong to you...” “Angel...” a muffled whisper was heard ”You are a wonderful creature, go and live a good life...” And at these last words, the light in the cave went out. Author's Note What's left is up to you.
Chapter 7: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Bad Ending).Twilight and her friends ran at full speed through the forest, following Rainbow, there were no words, no questions, just the sound of hooves crashing against the earth at high speed, so for a long stretch until they finally reached their destination, down the ravine and planted themselves outside the dark cave. They all stood for a long moment, not a sound came from inside the great entrance, so deafening was the silence, that all the other sounds of the forest were muffled. “These....” began Twilight feeling short of breath ”Are you sure she went in there?” “I checked...Fluttershy is in there...” replied Rainbow with the same distressed tone. They all exchanged glances, glances that it was hard to know what they reflected, none of them wanted to be the first to take the step, they didn't feel prepared for whatever awaited them, Twilight on her part was conflicted, as princess of friendship her duty was to give help and understanding, especially to one of her oldest friends, but she couldn't help feeling, deep in her mind, a feeling of uncertainty, of doubt, a not knowing that hadn't overwhelmed her since the first day she had arrived in Ponyville. “There's...” Twilight began to say, pushing that anguish out of her mind and focusing on what she considered the most important thing, helping Fluttershy ” We have to get inside...” At that very moment a scream full of pain and agony shook the air, one that cracked what little courage the five mares had managed to muster and made them tremble as if they were foals. This sent them into a state of panic and worry, far surpassing their initial fear, now in their hearts was the thought that, because of their hesitation and indecision, something horrible had happened to their friend. Almost immediately and without thinking they all rushed into the cave, stumbling over the rocks at the entrance while Twilight was shining her horn, the run didn't last long, as they soon found themselves against the bottom of the cave, and what before them loomed before them made them lose all hope. Fluttershy was shaking and crawling on the ground, screaming at the top of her lungs while crying and babbling nonsense words, she was staggering and stumbling over the rocks, hitting the ground again and again, she seemed to dig in the ground as if looking for something. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!” Fluttershy didn't seem to notice her friends' presence, circling over herself again and again. Twilight in horror took in the whole picture little by little, noticing Angel's scattered corpse all over the floor and that, with every step the pegasus took, it was getting more and more torn to pieces, as well as the peculiar appearance of the pegasus, which seemed to make no sense, considering how it looked the last time Twilight saw it, Fluttershy's outburst seemed endless, in a seemingly meaningless, desperate search. “Flu...Fluttershy...” said Twilight, in an incredible display of resilience and mettle, yet it was futile, the pegasus did not react to her words and just continued in her erratic actions. In an even more impressive show of courage, Rainbow Dash approached with trembling steps, until she was right in front of Fluttershy, then, she extended one of her hooves, very slowly, waiting for the pegasus to get close enough in one of her turns and finally, she placed it on her shoulder stopping her in her tracks. What happened next took less than a second, Fluttershy's wide-open gaze was fixed on Rainbow's fearful eyes, and the blue pegasus could see how those same eyes, full of despair and fear, deformed into a grimace of recalcitrant anger, letting out a shriek and lunging at Rainbow. Fluttershy knocked Rainbow to the ground and started punching her with all her might in the face, stomping her hooves so hard on one of her wings that a horrible cracking sound was audible, Rainbow Dash let out a scream that was quickly silenced when one of Fluttershy's blows fractured her jaw, at that moment a kick threw Fluttershy away from Rainbow, crashing her against one of the walls of the cave. Applejack had broken the paralysis that the shock had caused her and jumped forward without hesitation to protect the pegasus that now lay on the ground writhing in pain, they all followed her example and stood in front of Fluttershy, who soon stood up and looked back at them, giving them the same look of hatred. There were no words, none, no one had any more to say, they just got ready, and their wait wasn't long as Fluttershy, letting out another guttural scream rushed against all her friends at the same time, luckily, Applejack's strength combined with Twilight's magic was enough to subdue the pegasus against the ground, still Fluttershy didn't stop fighting with all her strength, flailing and letting out insults, tearing her throat even more. “NO!!! NO!!! WHORES, PIGS, ALL OF YOU, FUCKING WHORES, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT” At that moment Angel realized that he had fallen right next to the head of the corpse of his former body, the empty eyes of the rabbit's skull seemed to look directly at him, that darkness stuck in his soul that made him react, all the discomfort poured over him again and the agony, like no other, scraped to the very depths of his being, at that moment his insults and misuses were replaced by something else, pleas “KILL ME, JUST LET ME DIE, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE, I DON'T DESERVE THIS, I'M NOT TO BLAME, I'M NOT TO BE TO BLAME! !” At this, the others had nothing more to do, more to do than think, they could only exchange looks of horror while Fluttershy kept screaming and screaming until her voice died out. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Twilight walked heavily through the streets of Canterlot, the day was cloudy and a light drizzle had started, the alicorn cursed herself under her breath as she didn't want to have to return to Ponyville during a storm, but soon she felt stupid for worrying about something so insignificant, considering her reason for being there, she made her way through the crowded streets to a far part of the city center, to a huge white building in which she entered without looking at it. In a huge reception room a mare with white fur and blonde mane, tied in a bun behind her head and dressed in nurse's clothes, was reading some papers, reviewing and writing down data, it wasn't until she saw movement in the corner of her eye that she looked up, realizing that someone had entered the room, and not just any pony, none other than the princess of friendship. “Oh, Princess Twilight” exclaimed the mare with surprise ”I had forgotten you were coming to visit us today...” “Good afternoon Sweet Lemon, yes, I did manage to catch the morning train...did I arrive at a good time?” asked Twilight dejectedly. “Of course you did princess, we just provided you with your medicines, I will let the doctor know and he will be here in a moment, he will escort you to your room, in the meantime please have a seat.” Twilight nodded slightly and sat down on one of the benches in the reception area, waiting in silence, it wasn't long before a stallion dressed in a robe, mint colored fur and brown mane approached. “Princess Twilight...” he said bowing slightly ”If you would be so kind as to accompany me..” The two made their way down long white hallways, endless corridors filled with solid metal doors, some open, revealing ponies dressed in greenish blue garments inside, most looking lethargic and distracted, being checked by nurses and doctors. Twilight chose to ignore this, as well as the discomfort in her stomach, she tried to keep her eyes straight ahead and start a conversation with the doctor to take her mind off where she was. “How is she doctor?” she asked almost as a whisper. “Well, we've taken care of her as best we could princess, although it's still too early to decide if her condition is optimal or not...” the stallion paused as he turned a corner ”Maybe, if she had more positive encouragement, more visits from the rest of her loved ones...” “No one else wants to see her doctor...” interrupted Twilight ”At least not yet,,, everyone is still processing all this...” “I understand princess, it's something very difficult to assimilate, I've already seen cases like this, ponies that collapse, that lose themselves, that don't even know their own family...” the doctor paused as he noticed that his words might not be the right ones, changing his focus ”But don't worry, here we can guarantee a second chance to those ponies, a way to heal...” They both continued to make their way through the place, down stairs and around corners until they reached a secluded hallway deep in the compound, this one,unlike the others, was guarded by large nurse stallions, which walked back and forth monitoring the rooms, Twilight felt the sickness in her stomach worsen as she witnessed the hallway, she knew it would be in a guarded place but she expected such a miserable aura, she followed the doctor until about halfway down the hallway where he finally stopped, in front of a door exactly like all the others. “Did she say something?” asked Twilight suddenly, causing the doctor to look at her. “Well, no, not really, when she was brought here from the hospital we were informed that the damage to her vocal cords was quite serious, if she can still speak, she hasn't made any attempt to do so...” “Why did they put her down here, I thought you said they were striving to enact an optimal environment for recovery...” “That, princess, is because she has turned out to be one of the most troublesome patients we have ever had, in her first week on the upper levels she attacked a nurse with bites, bit off part of her face, she has also attempted suicide on several occasions, with pencils, spoons, she even tried to suffocate herself by eating her own hair, we tried our best to keep her calm but she seemed reluctant to any kind of support, so we had no choice but to put her in isolation, in a safe room so she cannot harm herself or any other pony.... At least until she proves herself willing to cooperate....” The doctor then stretched out his hoof, opening a small opening at the top of the door, allowing a view inside, Twilight, at the stallion's gesture for her to approach, swallowed saliva and took a big breath before stepping forward, peering inside, for a moment all she could see was the blinding white of the padded room illuminated by a light attached to the ceiling and protected by grids, but soon she noticed the grayish figure leaning against the wall of the room. Fluttershy had lost her characteristic yellow color, now her fur was a greenish-grayish notch of half-plucked tufts, which allowed to clearly see the scars from the wounds she had made, now dull marks on her skin, her fur and tail were almost nothing left, shaved and only allowing to see a couple of loose strands, she was dressed in a rough and very prominent straitjacket, which held both her front hooves and her wings firmly against her. Twilight couldn't help but let out a tear as she caught a glimpse of Fluttershy's face, dull and lackluster, she had her gaze lost somewhere in the room and her mouth half open. “For Celestia...but what did they do to her?” is all she could say. “I'm very sorry princess, but I assure you that all the measures taken are more than necessary, we tried to bury her without the straitjacket but she kept hitting herself over and over again, she knocked out almost all her teeth...” “And her mane?” “As I told you she tried to choke herself with her own hair, we thought that with the shirt would be enough but it was so long that she took it and pulled it straight out with her mouth...” “And the medicine?” “He wouldn't stop screaming either...” “But you said you didn't know if he still had a voice...:” “Well, rather than screams, actually a better way to call them would be screams, screeches that wake the other patients up at night and make them rowdy during the day, you will understand why we found it necessary to sedate her...” Twilight kept her gaze fixed on Fluttershy, she fought the thoughts that told her again and again that her friend was gone, that the kind shy pegasus she had once known was no longer there, she reflected on how things had degenerated so much and on the things she could have done herself to prevent them, be that as it may, it was too late now. “Princess Twilight...” began the doctor taking some papers out of his robe ”Princesses Celestia and Luna have already sent us the relevant documents, they asked me to tell you when I see you that they are willing to cover all the expenses for your friend's indefinite stay....” “No...” interrupted Twilight ”I will take care of the expenses...” “Are you sure princess? Some of the fees are somewhat high and the medications are quite particular...” The doctor asked, expectant for the answer. It took Twilight a moment to respond, still staring at the spectacle that her friend had become, still turning over the origin of it all, asking over and over again if Angel's death was the trigger or would there be something else. “It's the least I can do...” she finally said quietly. “Well, in that case you'll have to come with me, there are some documents we need you to sign...” “Yeah...sure...” Twilight finally stepped back and the doctor closed the small opening, they both stepped back and began the walk back, again in silence as the nurses continued their checks. Angel for his part was in despair, he tried to scream, to shout but his mind was lethargic and his body did not respond, although, he knew well, that even if his body was under his control, he could not speak, his voice had burned out and now he could not vocalize, he could see Twilight's face out of the corner of his eye, wishing with all his might he could tell her, she no longer cared what happened to her, what punishment they imposed on her, at that moment she would have given anything to be able to utter the words, the simple words that would end this torment, the simple words she would have wished to say from day one, the same words that now, would forever remain trapped in her useless throat “I am not Fluttershy”.
Chapter 8: A Tomb of Cotton, Epilogue (Good Ending).Twilight and her friends ran at full speed through the forest, following Rainbow, there were no words, no questions, only the sound of hooves crashing against the earth at high speed, so for a long stretch until they finally reached their destination, down the ravine and planted themselves on the outside of the dark cave. They all stood for a long moment, not a sound came from inside the great entrance, so much was the deafening silence, that all other sounds of the forest were dulled. “These....” began Twilight feeling short of breath ”Are you sure she went in there?” “I checked...Fluttershy is in there...” replied Rainbow in the same distressed tone. They all exchanged glances, glances that it was hard to know what they reflected, none of them wanted to be the first to take the step, they didn't feel prepared for whatever awaited them, Twilight on her part was conflicted, as princess of friendship her duty was to give help and understanding, especially to one of her oldest friends, but she couldn't help feeling, deep in her mind, a feeling of uncertainty, of doubt, a not knowing that hadn't overwhelmed her since the first day she had arrived in Ponyville. “There's...” Twilight began to say, pushing that anguish out of her mind and focusing on what she considered the most important thing, helping Fluttershy ” We have to get inside...” They all made their way inside the cave, very carefully and very slowly, Twilight shone her horn very slightly, just enough to illuminate the path ahead of them, and soon, they were all at the end of the path. At first it was hard to make it out, but soon the familiar sound of crying echoed in their ears, it was faint and muffled, but it was undoubtedly the sound of Fluttershy crying, they only had to go a little further to find the silhouette of their friend sitting on the ground, with her back to them and hugging herself with her hooves, sobbing silently and apparently unaware of the presence of her friends. At that moment, and in a strange way, all the fear that the five mares carried with them, seemed to diminish, somehow, seeing their friend in such a vulnerable position, made them feel safer, even so they continued approaching cautiously, noticing how Fluttershy seemed to tremble and breathe shallowly, as if she was suffering a panic attack, rocking gently back and forth. Finally, Twilight gathered the courage to approach, reaching out her hoof and placing it gently on the yellow pegasus' shoulder. “Fluttershy...” Slowly Angel raised her head, turning slightly to realize that she was surrounded by Fluttershy's friends, the five mares were looking at her with concern and anguish, looks that turned to pity as they noticed her face completely soaked with tears, at this and feeling a lump in her throat Twilight continued. “Are you all right?” For the first time since Fluttershy's death, at this question Angel didn't feel pain, he didn't feel that pressure on his heart that gnawed him nor that headache that made him want to scream, he could taste the remnant of those sensations in the back of his mind, but he put all of himself to remember Fluttershy's words, putting himself before these, for the first time, he decided to be honest, not only with others, but also with himself, answering Twilight's sincere question with equally sincere words. “Yes I...the truth...no...” he said between sobs. Angel's soft words ended up breaking the tension of the atmosphere, now, for the five mares, the only thing before them was their friend, suffering and very sad, and, before anything else could happen, and to everyone's surprise, Twilight threw herself on Angel, giving him a strong hug. He didn't know how to react, he could feel the warmth of the alicorn, the softness of her touch against his body, realizing that it was the first time he felt something like that in his new skin, the others didn't take long to imitate the gesture, wrapping Angel in all directions, squeezing so hard that he thought his body would explode, but it didn't happen, and before he knew it, the others also began to cry, a long moment passed in which Angel didn't understand the reason for this, but he simply decided to stop thinking and just accept it, actively joining the embrace. It wasn't until the silence was broken that Angel realized it was time to tell the truth. “We're so sorry Fluttershy...” began Rainbow through tears. “We didn't mean to make you feel so lonely...” continued Applejack. “We just assumed that you would want time to mourn Angel's death, we know how much he meant to you...” Rarity said in a barely audible tone. “And we assumed you would come to us if you needed to, but we should have been here for you, we're really sorry...” continued Twilight. “You're the best friend one could ever wish for” exclaimed Pinkie crying her eyes out. Angel gritted his teeth, he was afraid, really afraid, the same fear that had kept him isolated and violent, but, thanks to the sweet gesture of pure love from those mares, his heart and breathing eased, his mind cleared and he could feel a strange courage break through his thoughts, shaking to finally free himself from the embrace and turning to face the five of them, taking a big breath of air and closing his eyes one last time. “No...I'm sorry, it's just...I think when I heard them talking about locking me up I think I felt panic and....no, that's not the real reason for all this, it's just, I was so afraid, I was afraid that, if I knew the truth, you, everyone, would hate me, disown me and impose the worst punishment on me, that's why I denied it for so long but the truth is...this is all my fault...” The friends are confused at Fluttershy's seemingly nonsensical speech, feeling again that pang of concern for their friend's mental health, so Twilight decided to clear all her doubts once and for all. “Fluttershy what are you talking about? We know Angel's death affected you a lot but...these last few days you haven't acted, well...like you Is something wrong?” Angel felt himself hyperventilating, doubts came over him again, he could still back out, he could still let it go, but he knew that no matter how much he managed to hold it in, it wouldn't end well for him. “No, I mean, yes...it's just that I...I, I'm not Fluttershy....and I have something very important to tell you...” Now if the mares didn't understand, what they were hearing was too bizarre, a madness in between, they looked for some hint of insanity in their friend's face but the only thing they could see was a sincere expression of regret, there was no malice or madness behind it, so, against all common sense, they all decided to keep silent and listen to whatever that pegasus had to tell them. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The following months were confusing even for Angel, there were arguments, fights, even Celestia and Luna were involved, there were debates, search for evidence, accusations and trials, in the end the conclusion was reached, that the details of the death of the element of kindness Fluttershy would never be revealed to anyone other than the princesses and the rest of the elements of harmony, but nevertheless her death would not be ignored. A funeral was held in the capital city, a fitting tribute to one of Equestria's bravest heroines, almost the entire kingdom showed up to pay their respects, including Fluttershy's family, whose sadness surpassed that of anyone else, even the lord of chaos, who from that day on, was never to be seen again haunting this kingdom or any other. The empty coffin, beautifully adorned with butterflies and flowers, was buried in the garden of the heroes of Canterlot, where the memory of the pegasus would rest forever, but not her ideals and dreams. Princess Twilight took charge of the sanctuary, keeping it under a perfect administration to allow it to continue operating and saving the lives of animals in need, as well as promoting a new policy of care for the caretakers, Rainbow Dash bought the old cabin and rebuilt it, in the end, she would end up moving there deciding to live the rest of her days taking care of the home of her best friend, Pinkie Pie established in Ponyville the Fluttershy's Commemoration Party, a celebration to be held once a year, Rarity was the main contributor to Twilight's initiative, contributing with generous donations and finding the most qualified ponies for the health care of pets and their owners, and Applejack, she simply limited herself to carry the memory of Fluttershy in her heart, never ever endangering the lives of innocent animals, not even the ones she once despised with all her might. As for the decision on what to do with those involved in Fluttershy's death, Zecora was banished from Equestria, even though his intentions were good, they were considered irresponsible and unethical, he should leave his home in Everfree Forest and return to his homeland, accompanied by Angel. The verdict surprised him at first, he expected to be locked up for the rest of his days or worse but no, the three princesses were understanding, understanding that his actions were nothing more than a simple whim, one perhaps born of malice but never of cruelty, after all, deep down, Angel loved Fluttershy, perhaps more than any pony could have ever imagined, and since he had confessed everything and had abided by the consequences he was granted forgiveness on the condition that he would never return to Equestria, all with the intention that his face would not be recognized and suspicions would arise. Angel accepted this condition and was soon ready to depart, leaving his former life behind. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Angel was standing on a dock next to Zecora, both were waiting for the arrival of the afternoon boat that would take them to zebra territory, Zecora was wearing an intricate hay vest accompanied by a large hat of the same material, next to him was a huge amount of luggage, He had his head down and looked at the surf in silence, on the other hand Angel looked very different, his yellow fur had recovered its brightness, although this time its tone was a little paler, his scars had healed almost completely and now adorned his body with pink tones, his mane and tail had grown back but this time they had been cut giving him an elegant and somewhat misaligned style, Angel's face was full of peace and relief as a melancholic smile was displayed on his face, noticing that the zebra next to him seemed to be in decline he cleared his throat to speak. “Nervous about going home Zecora?” he spoke with a raspy voice due to the damage in his throat, similar to Fluttershy's but at the same time completely different. “I'm not going to lie to you little friend, my departure causes me great sadness, but I understand very well that this is my penance...” answered the zebra with a dejected tone. “Well, at least in your case it's a homecoming...I'm going into the unknown...” Angel let out a sigh. “Oh I for one am not worried, you are the most capable rabbit I ever saw” Zecora said looking up and giving a half hearted smile. “I'm not a rabbit anymore Zecora remember that, now I'm as fickle as the rest of the ponies, being capable won't be enough anymore...” “Maybe not that we could tell, but with me here, you know you'll always have somewhere to go.” “You, are you sure it's okay for me to stay with you?” she asked with some concern. “But of course, it's the least I can do, not helping a friend would be a very cruel thing to do...” Angel was happy to hear someone call him friend, however soon the guilt came back to him, feeling bad for the zebra, whose life he had harmed. “I'm so sorry Zecora, you wanted to help Fluttershy and me, and I just ruined your life...” “Oh dear Angel, for that you shouldn't apologize, after all it was me who put you in that fatal situation, for my messed up life you shouldn't be afraid, because I feel that now what is coming is going to smile on us and you are going to see it...” Zecora paused as she looked over Angel's shoulder, towards the port “Although perhaps, something you should do before starting your new existence, is to say goodbye to old friends before leaving...” Angel turned in the direction in which Zecora was looking and found himself surprised, before him were again Fluttershy's five closest friends, the same mares that helped him overcome his torment and feel better, all smiling and holding what seemed to be gifts. Heading towards them, dropping the small suitcase he zooted with his wing, he stopped in disbelief just a couple of steps away. “What are they all doing here? I thought they said if they came they'd attract attention...” “Well...” began Twilight ”We decided it was worth the risk.” “That's right!” exclaimed Applejack ”We couldn't let you leave without seeing us off properly...” It was the farm pony who stepped forward first, extending her hoof and offering Angel a huge blanket tied with a ribbon, this, despite being folded, revealed an intricate woven design in the shape of apples, Angel could also identify the very scent of fruit permeating the thick fabric. “It's in case your travels take you somewhere cold, it's hoof-woven by me so I assure you that you'll never have to mend it...” the farmer tapped him on the shoulder before turning away. Angel received the package, placing it on his back and feeling the mammoth weight, yet he struggled to hold it and maintain his smile. Next up was Pinkie Pie who, to no one's surprise handed Angel a huge basket full of muffins, adorned with a huge pink bow. “And this is so you don't go hungry on the way, zebra territory is a long way away and I already know how fast you get hungry, they're all made of, you guessed it, carrot!” “Thank you Pinkie Pie...” said Angel as he received a very tight hug from the pink pony that made him let the air out of his lungs. Next came Rarity, who handed over a small package wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper and adorned beautifully with jewels. “I...I know you probably don't like wearing dresses, so I made you something a little more practical, it's a thermal garment, it adapts to your body and will keep you cool or warm as the weather requires” the unicorn only dedicated herself to smile at him before stepping back to make way for Rainbow Dash. Angel couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable at the look of the blue pegasus, Rainbow's face still had traces that she had been crying and Angel knew very well that she was the only one who still, deep down, wished it was all just a cruel joke. She didn't say anything just held out the hoof in which she held her gift, it took Angel a moment to understand why she was giving her gift but then he realized, it was an old flying goggle but not just any goggle, they were the same flying goggles that Fluttershy had given Rainbow Dash years ago when they graduated from flight school, the lenses and the framing were the same but the strap had been replaced with a bigger one. “For when you decide you want to learn to fly...” said Rainbow quickly before turning and walking away. Finally Twilight approached, Angel took a big breath of air as the alicorn planted herself in front of him, he could see in the mare's eyes the mourning and sadness of having to see the face of the pony they had already dismissed, but still this look contrasted with the radiant smile forming on her lips. Twilight handed him his gift with her magic, a package wrapped in newsprint whose content was more than clear, a book, Angel wasn't particularly excited about that one but accepted it anyway. “And this, is so you never forget her...or us” said the alicorn before approaching and giving Angel a tight hug, who found himself surprised. It felt like the first hug he had received in the cave, warm and soft. “Good luck Angel...” whispered Twilight in his ear. By the time the hug was over Angel realized that his ship had arrived, the other passengers scattered around the dock were already boarding and Zecora was motioning him with her hoof to hurry. Before heading off Angel turned to take one last look at the five mares who were all maintaining their smiles, but he was able to notice how tears were threatening to spill from all of their eyes. “Thank you...” he finally said ”Thank you all very much...” “No, Angel, thank you to you for being honest, if Fluttershy were here, I'm sure she would be very proud...” said Twilight as a tear ran down her cheek ”Good trip Angel...” “Good trip to all of you too...” was the last thing she said to them, before turning around and walking towards the ship. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dusk gave way to night and Angel was on the deck of the ship with Zecora, they had already placed most of their things in their cabin and now they were simply enjoying the ocean breeze while eating some of Pinkie's muffins. Angel held under his wing the package Twilight had given him, curious to know what she was referring to. “Well, don't leave us with the intrigue companion, open that package already!” exclaimed Zecora. “Looks like you're more excited than I am...” said Angel not being able to help but let out a chuckle, even so he didn't want to wait any longer either. Quickly he took the package between his feathers and with a quick hoof movement he opened it, to the surprise of neither of them the content turned out to be a book, but it had no cover or description, it was just a simple green binding with yellow details, Angel looked at it with curiosity for a second before opening it and checking its content. They were both stunned with what they saw, it was page after page in which there were images that moved, lively and fluid, they all had one constant in common, Fluttershy, she was in each and every one of the images, cooking, on picnics with her friends, teaching, It didn't take Angel long to guess what it was all about, it was a magical scrapbook, filled with the memories of all of Ponyville about Fluttershy, he began to cry almost without realizing it, letting himself be carried away by nostalgia and by the smile of his caregiver reflected in each image. Zecora was also touched and approached Angel, wrapping one of her hooves around him in a hug. “Oh my dear friend instead, it's beautiful, don't you think so?” Angel choked back her sobs and wiped her tears with her wings, looking at the page she had lingered on, a memory of Fluttershy watching a sunset over a hill full of cotton buds, with a calm and peaceful expression, Angel couldn't help it and smiled too, genuinely sad, but also genuinely happy. “Yes...it is.” At once Angel closed the book and returned to the muffin basket, starting to ask Zecora about where they were going, anxious to get there and find out what the future held for him, after all Fluttershy had given him a new life, and he was sure he was going to live it. Author's Note I'm thinking if it would be a good idea to make a spin off of this ending, with the adventures of the new Angel, I'm not sure, I would like to know what you think. Thank you all for reading.