Author's Note

Don't read this chapter, it's just Discord talking for eighty percent of the time. It has next to nothing to do with the story, so you are more than welcome to move on to the next chapter.

Chapter 66 - My Dinner with Discord

As nighttime began its reign over the village, the Equerry made his way down the central market lanes at a calm yet steady pace. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket as his face tightened against the cold breeze, a sure sign that the end of autumn was near, and winter just around the corner. Very few residents trotted by and hurried along to their homes, wrapping up the last of their chores, hardly acknowledging the boy this time around. If anything, the sneers and disdain had subsided, traded for a mere passing glance or the commonly played cold shoulder. David huffed and turned to trek down the lane towards his destination. The Lucky Clover.

The bar was surprisingly almost completely empty, save for the couple resting before the tender at the front counter, whom were just heading out. The little equines brushed past stilted legs, and the boy gave glance to the outdoors one last time before scanning the restaurant in search of his “date.” When the search came up none, he turned to sit at the counter, and the tender was upon him sooner than he realized.

“Evening, Equerry.” Lucky said all the same. “Whadda’ ya have?”

“Just’a water.” David nodded. “Clear.”

The stallion behind the counter seemed to understand, and with a nod of his own turned to fix the boy his drink. David slumped back onto the counter and gazed over the restaurant once more, his thoughts beginning to collect, and he began thinking many things to himself as he always would. He thought about the things he might write when he got home that night, he thought about the things he might draw, too. Drawing was undoubtedly the passion and drive behind his soul, as he would see it, one of the only reasons for him to keep on living. Many times over he had thought about what he would do if he had lost the ability or luxury of drawing. If he were ever to be paralyzed, lose both his arms, go blind, become overwhelmed by an uncontrollable plague of Parkinson’s, just anything that might cease his ability to draw altogether. If any of this ever happened, David decided that he would kill himself.

“The Equerry of the hour!” A familiar holler called from the door.

The boy turned to find the company he had expected. It was Discord, wearing a dull green sweater buttoned up to the bottom of his breast, a sandy white shirt lying underneath.

“I’ve been summoned.” David rose, casually ignoring the get up.

What the strange beast did next rather surprised the young Equerry. Discord waltzed right up and wrapped both arms around the boy, embracing him into a heart-felt hug as though the two had known each other for years. On account of Discord’s height, both limbs went over his shoulders and the boy was forced to return the embrace around the serpent’s slithering waist, not even sure as to why he was returning the warm greeting. The small, rare moment of affection that the draconequus had finally showed felt inviting and reassuring. Dare he say, even fatherly.

“Come now, shall we see ourselves to our table?” Discord obliged.

“What table?” David asked. “I thought you brought me here to tell me something.”

“Oh yes, of course, but you see I have quite a lot to tell you.” The beast paused. “And before you ask, no, it hasn’t a thing to do with the main story line. This is a spur of the moment, my dear boy, a side quest of sorts. Surely you understand that when an old geezer like me wants to spend some quality time with youth, he is destined to talk their ears off until they are as deaf as their elders. Now come along, our table awaits.”

Despite the lack of staff about the restaurant save for Lucky tending to the bar, a waiter had appeared to guide the two to their seats, something which the boy assumed to be a trick of Discord’s magic. He felt it rather strange how he had gotten used to the old beast’s party tricks so quickly and so easily, almost as though he had been expecting them. The funny thing was, one never knew what to expect when spending time around Discord. Undoubtedly the land of myth and the ponies of Equestria the boy had found himself in were entertaining, but the trickster himself had kept things interesting, to say the least. Unbeknownst to him, the boy was about to see just how interesting things might get.

“Dinner is on me.” The serpent slid a menu over. “Go on, order whatever catches your eye, it all goes back to her Highness’ account anyhow.”

“I already ate.” Glowered the boy.

“Order something nonetheless, I promise you that you won’t get a single bite in this evening.”

“Should I ask why?”

“You know how hard it is for one to enjoy their meal when the other person just won’t stop talking. They have it in their minds that they are to sit there patiently and deliver a suitable reply within ample time, just so they can remain on good terms with the other person for reasons not even they can understand.” Discord shook his head, chuckling a little. “Oh, but listen to me getting too caught up in the thick of it already. Perhaps I should let you know that by the time you reach the castle tonight, you’ll hardly remember a thing I told you. You’ll want to go home and tell Starlight or Twilight or whomever will want to listen to this little excerpt in your life. ‘My Dinner with Discord’ is what you would call it. Alas, that title is not left up to your decision. Another has already written this chapter, and that is someone who is far far away from this place. Exactly…155.26 light years, to be precise.”

“Well, I can already tell this is going to be an evening I can neither enjoy nor escape.” David sighed and laid back in the booth, glazing over his conversation at the other end of the table. He sprawled out his hands in defeat. “Alright, you brought me here to tell me something, and tell me something you shall. So, let’s hear it.”

“Well, good God, boy, don’t act as if you’re a student held at the mercy of a teacher with a ruler. Don’t act as though I’m some cult leader who’s come to convince you of the salvation we’ll receive by way of spaceship one day. Don’t act like anything! Just listen to what I have to say now. I know I’ve told you that before and I was a little harsh when I said it, too, but I know how much you like to reply with your snarky comments and intriguing come backs as well. So hold them at bay for the time being, for the mercy of this evening and this telling. I just have so much to tell you, but it almost saddens me to know that you won’t remember a thing about it.”

David frowned and returned to his menu, glancing across the selection of meals with the background thought that he ought not to waste food, in spite of what the draconequus had told him. Soon after, his thoughts came to a halt as the serpent at the other seat picked up with his words once again.

“Tell me, boy, have you ever heard a song so beautiful?” Discord asked.

The boy stopped, remembering not to speak, raising his glass to his lips as he listened.

“It could be any song,” Discord went on. “A song played in a theater, perhaps something you heard on the radio, or even when you took the time to sit down and listen to a stranger dance his digits away on the piano sitting in the campus hall’s main foyer. You didn’t know where this stranger was from, what they had been doing, or what they even looked like. All you knew was the undeniably beautiful song coming from the piano they played upon, and that was all you would ever know of this person. Not their name, not their face, the sound of their voice nor the way the walk. All that was left to you was this song, and you subconsciously let that song guide you for whatever endeavor you were to endure next. Whether that be getting up to walk, going to talk to someone, or even going to the bathroom. The song was stuck in your head and you just couldn’t help it. Perhaps you wanted to know more about this person, ask them where they learned to play in such a beautiful key, and maybe even request that they tutor you in their ways because it had marveled you so. Alas the person was but a breeze, blowing by as soon as they had arrived, and you were left to the song. A song so beautiful, you could not forget it. Tell me then, my dear boy, and do not answer but only think about it to yourself. At the end of a generation what is remembered? The people, or the song? Is it history, or the history makers? Had it not been for one the other could not have been possible, but one is only remembered because of the other. There was a time when songs were remembered, when history was revered, and those who recorded such things were given the upmost comfort, luxury, tools and necessities capable of jotting down these events in time because everyone knew, and I mean everyone knew, this was how the world was going to be remembered. And that, my friend, is the problem we face today. People do not remember.

“People would naturally and undoubtedly be worried about what is happening to them if only they could remember, but they do not remember, and they don’t even remember the fact that they chose not to remember. They are told not to worry because the drinks quell their fret, they listen when they are told to have no doubts because the cake is undoubtedly delicious. Its sweet, its sticky, and it keeps you coming back for more. Why is this? Do you think they blend something into these things that they feed you? Some sort of chemical that supposedly makes some things ‘addictive?’ You’ll come to realize that our bond to these things that which provide us comfort is just as natural as the things that cause discomfort. No chemicals, no conspiracies, nobody plotting behind your back. It’s all up to you, and you can’t even help it. Just think about this for a moment, we bare a natural inclination to distance ourselves from any sort of discomfort, displeasure or pain and to get away from it as far as possible. The very nerves beneath your flesh have evolved to indicate pain whenever you come across something that is in one way or another degrading the state of your body. According to the brain, pain is a setback, and it will naturally devise all of these weirdly creative ways to avoid pain as much as possible. Don’t forget, this is something you can’t help, your body and your brain fall into it naturally. With that being said, your own mind is quite literally working against you, to hold you back from your desires and your goals, because you know deep down in the pit of your mind that these desires and goals of yours will include trials, and trials include pain. It was something you said yourself once, or rather thought about it. Do not become the path of least resistance. What you meant was that nature will always follow the easiest route, the path of least resistance. The flow of electricity, the current of a water stream, even the predator choosing its prey. These are things you cannot control not because they are out of your reach, but because you are a part of them. The toughest concepts to grasp are not the ones that are far far away from us, but rather the ones that lie inside. In order to understand these thoughts and feelings that lie inside, it almost quite literally demands that we dismantle ourselves completely to find these truths. In other words, in order to recreate ourselves we must first destroy ourselves. In order for something to be fixed, it must first be broken. There is a name for such a thing, and it can be taken into many concepts, and it appears in many stories, some of the greatest stories to ever be told might I add. You’ve heard the word plenty of times and I’m sure you already know what it is. Sacrifice.

“Sacrifice, no matter how you look at it, is the most pinnacle undertaking of society. It cannot be tainted, it cannot be altered, and even when you try to do so you will find that you yourself are making a sacrifice. Society hates sacrifice, and that is why it is so revered, so humbled, so glorified in the eyes of those who think others ought to take responsibility, yet they themselves wouldn’t dare set a foot or even a hoof outside their doorstep, yanking in that welcome mat right along with them. When you’ve given the world everything you can, whether it be your house, your car, your job, your family, your friends, and even yourself, what does the world do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, and that is the way it ought to be, because what then would sacrifice mean? The world needs heroes, now and more than ever, and heroes make sacrifices. Isn’t it astounding how the most able, the most extraordinary, the most intelligent and strongest that this world has to offer have convinced themselves that all of this is worth saving? They have unknowingly adopted the perspective that which society deems a hero should be cloaked in, one of unconditional service towards complete and utter strangers. And for what? For all the sludge and slop that they trudge through and all of the horrors that they witness, all of the crime and all of the thievery, the falsehood and the trickery, the ugliness and violence of it all, the rape, the murder, the torture, the ungodly, inhumane, inequinety of it all…and they still believe there is a future to look forward to. And for that, they have my undying respect. Why, you might ask? Because sacrifice means change, my boy, and for one to change they must go against that which nature has dictated for them. Those who stand up to nature are the ones who stand up to the face of almost certain death itself. I know there are more out there, these heroes who always look to the bright future ahead, in spite of the darkness that surrounds them. I have only ever met one before, and she…” Miraculously, Discord stopped and chuckled. “Well, you’ll meet her some day, I’m sure.”

Finally, the boy’s ears were given a breather. Having picked up the signal that it was at last his turn to get a word or two in, he leaned forward and stretched, twisting a pinky finger into his ear. “Well…” He actually didn’t quite know what to say. “You sure do know how to make someone stop and think, I guess? What was that thing you said about our minds working against us?”

“As I had stated before, you will not remember a thing of our conversation.” Discord reminded. “This is only but a small excerpt, a mere scratching of the surface. I know you’ve been down plenty of rabbit holes before, I know what manner of curiosity lies within those eyes. What drive, what passion. Come to think of it, I don’t believe you’ve ever told me what your passion is. I already have a pretty good idea of what it might be, but would you care to do the honors?” He raised his claw.

David blinked and sat back, twinkling his fingers together. “My passion?” He glanced to the side. “Well, how else can I tell it? It’s the same thing I tell everyone who might ask, and the same thing that I let almost every single person I meet know about even if they didn’t ask. I love to draw. I would feel utterly lost and incomplete without it. Even if the events of my life had somehow steered in the direction of a different passion, like music or sports or running or whatever, then I would still feel incomplete. Drawing calls to me, and I don’t just know it but I feel it, too. It’s like breathing to me. Without it, I would be-” He paused and coughed. “Well, I would be…”

As the boy’s speech fell short, the waiter returned as though on queue, delivering their meals to the occupants of the table. Discord had ordered quite the colorful platter, a vast array of some of the most exotic and foreign dishes the boy had ever seen, many of which he could not even begin to pronounce the names of. David had ordered chicken tenders with a side of fries.

“Ketchup?” Offered Discord.

“Oh, of course.” David nodded back.

Discord clicked his talons, and a brimming bowl of ketchup appeared on the table. A second later, a solid set of letters unmistakably written as “UP” came falling from the sky and landed in the bowl of tomato paste, splashing the red viscous substance all over the boy’s meal.

“Get it?” Discord snickered. “Or shall I say catch it?”

The boy could only respond with cold, deadpan eyes, but nevertheless began digging into his plate, now drenched in ketchup in all the wrong places.

The draconequus cleared his throat and went to fix a napkin about his neck and over his breast, the boy uncertain of whether he was preparing to dive into his long awaited dinner or once again delve into the nonstop tales that poured from his brain and rolled off his tongue. Perhaps it would be both, David had no doubt the beast was more than capable of accomplishing the two tasks at the same time. He sipped the glass from his drink and lifted the piece of plate from his food, watching idly as the boy precariously dabbed the remaining splashes of ketchup from his checkered basket before diving into his dinner at a child’s nibbling pace.

“Now, I know I had promised you that this entire conversation of ours wouldn’t have a thing to do with the main story line, and quite frankly it doesn’t. But I will have to go off of a little whim here, I will have to tempt myself in order to get my point across. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t really have anything to do with the story line anyhow, at least not within the all six books here, and that’s only if we’re going with the primary timeline.” He paused for a cackle. “Oh how I would love to get into the intricacies of timelines with your sort, but perhaps that is another tale for another time. I do believe that is more of the royal sisters’ strong-suit, you’re bound to come across it anyhow.” The beast paused, long enough for the boy to think of a return.

“Alright.” David started. “If I were to make just one assumption about this whole ordeal, I think I’m already understanding what it is that you’re trying to make me do here.”

“Do tell.” Discord waited.

“All this talking, all this searching and rambling. You’re just trying to make me think, Aren’t you?” David supposed. “It’s like how you said to me before, you want me to listen, you want me to think. If I were to take the time to sit down and think about what it is I’m supposed to do, then maybe I would finally understand what is being asked of me. Come to think of it, that’s the problem a lot of people face today. Not just back on my home planet, Earth, but even here on Equis, too.”

“Funny you should mention this ball floating about in space, brimming with colorful little equines.” Discord obliged. “Tell me, do you find any similarities with this planet as you would with your own?”

“Well, I suppose I do, and in fact I’ve answered this question before.” David nodded, taking a few more nibbles to his chicken before continuing. “There’s roads, there’s houses, there’s doors and rooms, places to sleep and places to eat, but of course these are only the rudimentary similarities, the things that which as I understand it many intelligent species will deem necessary for their way of living. Shelter, food, water. I believe the only difference between ponies and humans is that we had to gather these resources and build these things in different ways, and that was because we have different bodies that allow us to do different things. It all came down to nature, really. One thing went the other way and, poof, here we are! Ponies could have been humans or humans could have been ponies, or ponies could have been something completely different and humans could have been something completely different. The fact of the matter is, we evolved and mutated and utilized our bodies to do whatever it is that we wanted to do.”

“And such is the way of nature.” Discord nodded. “It was just as your dear Princess of the Night had uttered before, and thus I shall utter it to you again. You are closer to the likeness of ponykind than you have ever been in your entire life thus far. If it were a pony cast upon the planet Earth, perhaps they would find such a similar path as yours. Or, would they find a different route? Perhaps such a story has already been written, but one can only wonder upon the possibilities this seemingly infinite universe holds. I had gazed upon it before, and I understood that truly one can only wonder, one is only aloud to wonder, lest they return themselves to the very forces that birthed them into this existence. It all comes back to what we had uttered before, it all circles back to the infinite and evergrowing notions of remembrance, sacrifice, and the future.”

“The future.” The boy muttered.

“Yes.” Discord obliged. “You know, the thing we’ll eventually get to.”

“Well, you keep talking about the future, but you’ve never really talked about it.”

“It’s only a generalization of sorts.” The serpent said. “It is the future of Equestria, the grand scheme of this nation and the path that it is truly and inevitably headed towards. You see, just as we had agreed only moments ago, ponies aren’t so different from humans and vice versa, in the sense that they both strive to gather resources and produce wonders aiming to make their lives more comfortable. Food, shelter, water, these are only the rudimentary things, yes. However, if you are to simply look upon the lives that these ponies are living, you will find much more than just your basic necessities. Why, if these ponies were already living the perfect lives that nearly every civilization across the stars aims for, they would not be living inside of buildings. They would not have their books, their newspapers, their couches nor even their welcome mats. Food, shelter and water. Something to eat, a place to sleep, and something to drink. That is all. Your one and only basic list for being alive. And yet here we are, far past that point, generations past that point might I say. It is evident enough that with the changing of the generations, ponies have been driven further and further away from the very nature they had been born from. Just why do you think these little creatures are so soft and cuddly? All it takes, my dear boy, is a look in the mirror. Tell me now—and don’t answer this question. Do you really think that what you as a human look like today resembles anything remotely close to what a human might have looked like a hundred years ago? How about a thousand? How about ten thousand? A million? Had humans even existed that many years ago? Had Earth, or the solar system? Does your religion dictate otherwise, or any sort of religion for that matter? Then again, is that just what you were told? Is it what you believe? Or what you were told to believe? I would love to delve into such touchy and heated debates as much as the next ignoramus, but let’s not forget the fact that all of these things come from nature as well. Thoughts, feelings, concepts and ideas, they all stem from the same origin point, and we all stem back to that same origin point as well. Only in our finest hours, our finest minutes and our finest seconds do we realize these things. And then, just like that, we are thrown right back into the blender. We cannot help these things, for it is that one word once again, that one rule. It is natural.”

As Discord took yet another pause, stuffing his face with food once more, David worked his mind and began to compile his thoughts. Suddenly, he clutched his chest and brushed his hand over his scar. It was still there.

“Nope, this isn’t a dream.” Discord chuckled. “Try again.”

The very action of checking for his scar had not been habitual in the sense of engaging in dreams with Princess Luna, but rather he had once again gained the notion to determine whether or not all of these experiences, walking amongst the ponies and living in Equestria, was only but a dream. Having thought he had reached well past that point by now, the boy still seemed to have his doubts. However, he realized that this time it was not for checking his fantasy. Rather, it was for checking his reality.

“This future that you speak of.” David began. “It’s sort of like how people back on Earth would describe our future. We’re getting further and further away from the things that made us human, which was by being more connected with nature. It’s gotten bad enough to the point where people need to take vacations or go on a walk just to feel refreshed, just to feel like they’re living again. And then, it’s back on the grind. Of course, that usually only happens within a society.”

“And a society is based on growth at the expense of the soul.” Discord explained. “The more society may grow, the less you humans will feel like humans. The same can be said for these poor little ponies which are bound to meet this fate in, oh, let’s say just a few more decades here. Perhaps we should say they already have met such a fate, because once it begins, there’s no going back. And believe me, he is winding up. As we sit here now, scientists and engineers are devising ways to make life easier for their fellow ponies. They look for clues, they look for shortcuts, and help produce equipment and devices that will get around feats and misfortunes that too many ponies are just too tired to overcome nowadays. And they’re not showing any signs of stopping anytime soon because there is a certain, almost annoying knack to technology, and that is the fact that technology advances exponentially. The more reliable devices that are produced, the easier it is to produce technology that will back up those devices, and so on and so forth. The blasted thing builds itself! Before you realize it technology will start working for itself, building for itself, thinking for itself.There is nothing more terrifying to a people than something that will one day realize it no longer needs the people that had created it. Sound familiar? I’ll give you a little hint. It’s called playing God.”

“Playing God?” The boy reiterated.

“A little play on Damocles, as I like to call it. Only this time, the sword hangs from the ever growing ‘good intentions’ of ‘good people’ who just don’t know any better, and the sword is their own creation, intended for one application, finding sentience and purpose of its own in the next. Just think about it, what did humans have to destroy in order to claim dominion over the Earth? What did ponies have to destroy? Or, was it yet again the undeniable and unavoidable ways of nature? How many civilizations and generations have been embedded beneath the layers of the Earth, sewed back into the very soils that they had come from, possibly even tunneled and narrowed into subterranean bowels of incomprehensibilities and horrors yet to be unearthed by the unfortunately curious? I ask you, boy, just how curious are you? Just how deep do you think the rabbit hole goes?”

Suddenly, the serpent paused. The boy sat idle and wondered if that was yet another queue to speak, but held his tongue. Discord shot back with a hard stare, as though expecting a response. The sparing lasted for an unprecedented amount of time, until the beast finally craned his neck and rolled his eyes.

“Really, boy, do you require my permission to speak? All of this talk, this rambling and this nonsense, and you haven’t a thing now to say?”

“What more is there to say?” He flailed his hands, slapping against the table. “What the hell do you want me to say?”

“Say whatever you your heart so desires. Whatever comes to the forefront of your mind, just say it.” Discord went on. “Do you think I came here with a plan? Do you think I rehearsed each and every verse before coming here? It may surprise you to know that this is an extremely rare and special opportunity I have seized this night, a once in a lifetime experience, and believe me when I say I’ve lived plenty of lifetimes already. A human from the planet Earth and a mythical monstrosity of uncertain origin dine in the middle of a bar talking about all there is to talk about. What better way is there to spend one’s evening?”

“I might agree that the evening was well spent, at the very least it was decent.” David interjected. “If only I would retain any of its memory. You’ve already told me more than once that I’m not going to remember a thing that’s happened between us tonight, so how can I agree with anything you’ve said thus far? How can any of this matter or harbor any purpose whatsoever?”

“That answer lies within the lines, between the fine print that is the very notion of existence, the building blocks of life as we know it.” Discord took a pause and grinned. “As a matter of fact, I’ve just assembled a little riddle for you to solve. Well, actually it was taken from some bloke who wrote it back on your planet, but I myself was birthed into this universe long before the ancestors of the supposed author even set foot on Earth’s soil, so that should give me all the credit by default.”

“I should have known you were going to make me think harder than what’s good for my brain.” The boy groaned.

“Now now, I know how much you love riddles, and you already know the answer to this one as well. All you have to do is remember.”

David quietly sat back into the booth, hands folded and ears attentive, as he waited for the draconequus to utter his silly, little riddle. The riddle in which would supposedly answer the boy’s question, a question that just about every sentient being and perhaps non-sentient being anywhere in the universe might have asked at some point in their life. What is the purpose of it all?

“It’s a seven letter word.” Discord began. “What is greater than God, more evil than the Devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you will die?”

A deep, deafening silence had soon blanketed itself over the entirety of the bar. The draconequus lingered for a moment more, studying the young human’s face as his hand went to his chin and his eyes tightened into long and lingering thought. With his mind fixated over the riddle and the riddle alone, the serpent returned the restaurant to its original status. Everything had been said and done, and with a final grin of content the beast ushered himself past the front doors and into the darkened, starry night. At last the boy sat at the bar, the last of his thoughts lingering over the riddle uttered unto him after his dinner with Discord.