Sleepwalking

by David Silver

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8358

With a final combo, he defeated the boss. With a cheer, he ended up in a whole new world. He didn't remember hearing about that part of the game, huh...

With a final combo, he defeated the boss. With a cheer, he ended up in a whole new world. He didn't remember hearing about that part of the game, huh...

Done at random for nobody at all. No patreons involved, just me.

Published 2024-09-02 00:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2024-09-24 21:07:25 UTC

1 - Wake Up

Thomas pressed the button at just the right time, prompting his character in the game to backflip over an attack, invincibility frames shielding them. "And." He struck a different button, going in for the kill with the slice of his blade. "That's." The boss' last health bar depleted. "Game!"

The big, goofy grin he'd been sporting while playing was suddenly turned down by his frown as a dark fog flooded out of the screen, spilling onto the carpet and rapidly filling the room. "The heck?" He tried to back away, but it was coming in far too quickly. It encompassed him and everything he could see, and he was gone from the world just as quickly.

This realm was unlike anything Thomas had ever seen. Everything was a cool shade of blue, like standing in the center of a glacier. This all might have been a bit more amazing if not for the fact that the dreamscape felt empty and soulless, as though this was only a facsimile of the real thing, rather than the real deal itself.

Thomas stumbled through the drifting snow. "Hello?" he called. "Is anyone here?"

"Who's there?" a voice shouted back, though they sounded more worried than aggressive.

Thomas hurried towards the voice. "Please be someone nice." Coming around the corner, he saw a mask in the snow. "What?"

"What?" echoed the mask in its own voice, the same that Thomas had just heard. It looked at him. "Can you help me find my body?"

"Um... sure?" Thomas took the mask and looked around. He spotted something else odd in the distance and approached it. "Did your head belong to this, maybe?" But it wasn't a body, it was, clearly to him, a warp point. "Never mind. This'll just send us somewhere else." He frowned at it. "Why am I in a videogame?"

"Videogame?" the mask repeated.

"Uh huh." He showed the warp to the mask. "This'll send us somewhere else."

"Well, hopefully my body's there." The mask smiled, lacking the ability to do much else.

Thomas looked around the desolate area. "Can't be too much worse." He stepped onto the pattern on the ground.

The surroundings quickly faded into darkness, only for Thomas to find himself in front of a store. From the smells, he guessed it was some kind of bakery. The door swung open, allowing someone to come out with the clip-clops of a horse. They were a horse, a small one. A pony?

The pony was white and had long blonde hair in a ponytail, much like the pink haired girl from the video game he'd just been playing. Her cutie mark was three flower petals, colored yellow, blue, and pink, representing the colors of her hair. "Oh." She inclined her head at Thomas. "What kind of creature are you?"

"I'm human." Thomas tapped his chest. "Uh, my name's Thomas. What's yours?"

"Humans," said the mask. "I've heard about them."

"Oh, how silly of me." She pointed to a crystal tower in the distance. "Princess Twilight's the human expert. I'd go talk to her if I were you."

Thomas looked at the mask. "Sure." He turned back to the pony. "But first, do you know where this guy's body is?"

She eyed the mask and shuddered. "No idea, sorry." She trotted away. "Good luck finding it."

"Might as well find this Twilight lady." Thomas looked at the mask. "By the way, what's your name?"

"I am." The mask suddenly floated up, hovering beside Thomas as he walked. "I had a name."

"Geez, you lose your body and memory, too?" Thomas looked around the village. "Is there anyone who might know?"

"Oh, they're all gone." The mask swirled around Thomas. "Ponies."

As it had said, there were ponies all over. They were in a pony town. Well, mostly. There were a few other sorts of creatures wandering about and doing business. Mostly though, they were ponies. As Thomas walked, he heard many of them talk to each other, but none of it seemed to be about the missing body.

He hurried into a jog, racing out of town and up the hill towards that castle. A little sign declared that it was 'Princess Twilight Sparkle's Castle'. He went right past the sign up to the door up a few steps. "So, did I die, or did I try some amazing new drugs?"

"No, I don't think so," said the mask.

"Yeah, me neither." Thomas shrugged and knocked on the door.

It opened on its own, and Thomas entered the front room of the castle. Inside was a dragon! Fortunately, it was a very small dragon. "Woah." Spike inclined his head at Thomas, then the hovering mask. "Double woah. What's a human doing outside the mirror?"

"I have no idea." Thomas shrugged helplessly. "Hi."

"Let us find this Twilight." The mask hovered to the left and in front of Thomas.

Spike shook his head and shut the door behind them. "Come on, Twilight's studying in the library." He shrugged as he went. "Not even the oddest thing this week. Name's Spike. Does that mask have a name?"

"He says he is." Thomas frowned at the mask. "But I don't think it's much of a name."

"Oh, not many do." The mask nodded. "A little personal nostalgia for me."

"Hey, Heyis." The mask nodded at the name as if it was correct. "This way." Spike led the way to one of many libraries in the castle. "Twi? You have guests!"

Thomas and the mask entered the library. Inside were many shelves, all loaded with books. At the center of the room was a desk with a purple alicorn sitting behind it, reading from an open book in front of her. Her coat was a lavender shade, and her snoot was in a book, at least until they showed up. "Spike?"

Twilight sat up with a start. "Oh!"

"Yeah." Spike hiked a thumb at Thomas. "Not sure how he got here, but he sure looks lost."

"Lost?" Twilight teleported beside them in a burst of magic. "In Ponyville? Oh my goodness, you must be disoriented. How'd you get here? What's that mask doing without a body?" She reached up, batting at the mask with her hoof. "It's sized for you."

Thomas hadn't even thought about that. "It is about my size." He grabbed the mask, which didn't object. "Is your name Thomas?"

The mask nodded. "I suppose it is."

Twilight grabbed Thomas' hands with her hooves. "Are you a time traveler? Can humans do that? Are you from the future? The past? You must tell me!"

"Hold your horses." He only realized the pun after saying it. "This can't be coincidence, a mask with my name complaining about missing a body. Your lucky day." He hikes a thumb at himself. "I have a body and no mask." Confident in his logic, he casually puts the mask on.

Nothing happens.

Thomas tries to take the mask off. It doesn't budge. "Why isn't this working?"

"No idea." Twilight fluttered over him and tapped the mask with her hoof. "It does appear to be stuck. Mask, Thomas, can you speak?" But the mask didn't reply. "Hm. I think, perhaps, it's become part of you?"

"That would be horrible." Thomas threw up his hands.

Twilight gently patted Thomas on the side. "Let's calm down. First thing's first. You are a migrant human. There are forms to fill."

"Forms?" Thomas tilted his head.

"Ack!" She spun around and ran back to her desk. "We can't be having you stay here without filling out all the proper paperwork." She gathered a small stack of papers. "Migrants happen at times. I have to ask, have you awakened to any new and unusual abilities? That requires a whole different set of forms."

"Nope, just stuck in a videogame..." He started filling out the forms with his pencil. "Somehow."

Twilight shook her head. "This is not a videogame."

"That is what most people living in a videogame would say." Thomas propped on one hand, feeling the mask against his hand as he filled out the form. "I just beat this really hard level and ended up here."

Spike held up a claw. "Actually, we get plenty of people coming from different worlds and universes, especially since Twilight kinda broke the mirrors."

Twilight went red at that. "It was an accident!"

"Oh, alright." Thomas shrugged and got back to filling out the forms. "We'll call it a videogame anyways." He twirled the pencil in his fingers. "Because if I don't call it that, I'm gonna start wondering how crazy I should be feeling right now." He finished the page and sat back. "All the basics are down. So, huh, humans are alright then?"

Twilight waved a hoof dismissively. "There are rules, but you shouldn't have any problems, as long as you aren't bad." She winked. "Now, these forms will determine if you're qualified to stay in Equestria for an indefinite period of time or not. It also determines if you will get, and how much, of a stipend."

None of the forms he'd just filled seemed to be about money. "How?"

"Easy." Twilight lifted that first paper over to herself. "They help determine what kind of creature you are, and if we should be scared, or happy to have you, and how much help you might need. Go ahead with the second page."

Thomas got to work. The second page asked him many questions about his home. What kind of home did he live in? How did he travel? Did he have any family? How large was his family? All manner of questions like that were defeated with slashes of his pencil and soft whistles. "One thing." He flipped to the next page. "This mask could be a secret power, right? I don't know, but it is kinda stuck to my face."

Twilight trotted up and waved a hoof over the mask. It didn't seem to do anything. "Nothing yet. Let's finish these forms before we try any experiments."

"Fair enough." Thomas worked busily until they were all filled as best he could. "So you can work with this and figure out where I stand?" He considered a moment. "And should I be freaking out about now?"

"Please don't." She collected the papers. "You are in good company, and panicking won't make anything better."

"Can do." Thomas yawned, feeling tired. "Think I could get some sleep? And something to eat? I'm pretty hungry."

"That we can do." Twilight ushered them to the door. There, Spike led the way over to the map room, with its big table and thrones. "Pick a spot and I'll get a nibble for you. Humans can eat whatever they want, right?"

"Pretty much?" Thomas sank onto a throne with a big set of apples on the back.

"Oh!" Spike clapped his claws. "I'll be right back."

Thomas closed his eyes as Spike ran off. A moment later, he heard the sound of Spike returning, though he didn't look up until a delicious smelling plate of something hit the table in front of him. Opening his eyes, he saw something like a burger with a large slice of chocolate cake sitting atop it.

He sat up, eyeing it curiously. "That smells great, but do you usually put cake on top of the food?"

Spike laughed nervously. "Sorry. That wasn't on purpose. It's just that all of this is yours." He slid the plate over to Thomas. "There's more in the kitchen. Whatever you want, we've got."

Thomas grabbed the plate and set it in his lap. He grabbed the fork. It was thankfully the right shape, but it was small. It was, he guessed, Spike-sized. "Thanks, really." He used the tines of the fork to scoop up a small bite of cake.

The flavors were sweet and exotic. It didn't taste like any cake he'd ever had before. Not that he was complaining. For a videogame it was a lot more than he would have expected.

Unless he wasn't in a videogame.

And he was stuck in an alien world.

And probably would never get home.

And had to live with horses and a dragon, forever.

"You okay?"

Thomas looked up and everything was blurry. He blinked away the tears that had been building. "Oh, crap." He shook his head firmly. "Sorry. It was just all catching up with me."

"That's why we don't like ponies freaking out," said Spike. "Especially not humans. You guys get more dangerous when you freak out."

Thomas held up his hands. "Hey, I'm not very dangerous." He went back to attacking his food, ruminating over his situation.

Spike darted off as he ate, poking back into the library with Twilight. "He's eating. Um, and a bit upset, but he doesn't seem to be angry or anything, just kinda sad."

Twilight kept her eyes on her paperwork, scribbling as she read. "That's good. Sad we can handle. Ponies do have trouble keeping their emotions under control at times."

"Yeah." Spike rubbed along an arm. "Can we help him get home?"

Twilight looked up. "The odds of that are tiny. The odds of getting him to some other world and then losing him are much higher. For his safety, I can't recommend trying. Not until we know more." She went back to her paperwork. "For now, we can be good neighbors. If he returns the favor, he'll be welcomed here."

"Alright." Spike frowned as he watched her write. "You have a plan."

"Always." She winked at him. "For today, though, I just want to finish this and show him his new home. Let's try and give him some good news for once."

When the last form was completed, Twilight stamped it and filed it away properly, as was proper. "B class." She nodded, looking confident. "Very good. Spike?" But he wasn't there anymore.

She trotted out to the main room. Empty. She searched around until she found Thomas sprawled over Spike's little bed. Spike was on top of him. They were slumbering in an awkward pile. Twilight smiled softly and covered them up with a blanket. She decided to let them sleep. There'd be plenty of time for her to find out more about this Thomas.

The following morning, Twilight, Spike, and Thomas gathered together at the table, each having some breakfast. Spike took a big bite out of her morning eggs. "Mmm, very nice, Spike. You outdid yourself today."

"It is really good." Thomas scooped up some eggs of his own. "Spike, you're going to make someone a great boyfriend someday."

Spike blushed and tapped the edge of his plate with a claw. "Aww, I don't know about that."

Thomas grinned as he shoveled some sausage into his mouth. He wasn't sure what animal it was, if it even was an animal, but it tasted great.

Twilight cleared her throat. "I have good news. Thomas, you are class B, rating 17. That has certain entitlements and responsibilities are a migrant."

Thomas eyed her carefully. "That sounds like bureaucratic stuff. So what does it mean for me?"

Twilight adjusted her glasses. "It means you're allowed to stay indefinitely, should you choose. It means, if you do stay, you will be afforded lodging and a modest stipend, as well as determining the level of that stipend. It's enough to comfortably live. Should you find employment, your stipend will be reduced by half of what you earn."

"Wow." Thomas licked his lips and bit into his toast. "So, where do I sign?"

Twilight walked over to him with a stamp. "Here, hold out your hand." She pressed the stamp to the back of his hand and pressed until a red mark was left behind. "There you go. Any pony that should react to that, will know what it means. Welcome, to Equestria." She dipped her head briefly. "I am a princess of that same nation." She pointed to herself. "Legally, that means I'm in charge of you, but Equestria is not a very authoritative place. You can largely live your life, so long as you follow the rules, and most are fairly simple, especially in a small town like this."

"I get that." Thomas smiled a little, but felt mostly numb inside. "Thanks, Twilight. For everything." He shook his head slowly. "Never thought I'd have to say those words to a horse, much less a horse with magic."

Twilight wrinkled her snout. "I am not a horse. You're not an ape. Just because we both have our ancestors doesn't mean either of us wants to be called that. It's rude." She huffed softly and took a fresh bite of her eggs. "I am a pony. An alicorn, specifically. An alicorn is a pony with both wings and a horn. Just a horn, unicorn. Just wings, pegasus. Neither, earth pony. All equal tribes. Understand?"

Thomas scratched his head. "Okay. Um, thanks." He nodded to Spike. "And thank you, Spike. And here I thought I was going to have a horrible experience." He looked around the room and took in a deep breath. "Alright. So, where do I go to get a place to live?"

"Well, there are all sorts of options." Twilight stood up on her hind legs. "We can find you a place to live, and show you how to take care of it. There are at least, hmmm." She rubbed her chin lightly. "At least five available homes in town. You can select one to move into. If you want a new home, that will take more time, and require a reason why one of the existing ones won't meet your needs."

"A place of my own, huh?" Thomas rubbed his arm nervously. "I guess I should try and get used to that."

"Oh!" Twilight levitated a small collection of books onto the table. "That reminds me, these books cover everything about how the government works. If you have any questions, you can always come and ask me."

Thomas peered at the books skeptically. He looked to Spike instead of reaching for them. "How much of that have you read?"

"None of them?" Spike shrugged lightly. "Then again, I was around the princess most of the time."

Thomas hiked a thumb at Twilight. "That one?"

"Another one." He pointed up at the unseen Canterlot. "Princess of the sun, Celestia. Nice mare! Maybe you'll meet her someday."

"Either way." He gently pushed the stack back. "Sounds like I can get by without that if I'm not a jerk." He stretched his arms. "So, what do I do until I find a place to stay?"

"Don't worry." Twilight pat his arm. "You're safe and among friends here."

Spike pointed to the door leading out. "I know where two of those houses are. Wanna check 'em out?!"

"Yeah, sounds like a plan." Thomas shrugged and got up. "Thanks, again, for the food." He stepped out of the castle and took in a deep breath of the crisp morning air. "Wow." As strange as Equestria was, it was clean, and everything hit his senses just right. "Which way?"

Spike led the way. "Well, we've got to take care of your stipend thing first. Let's head over to the bank and get that squared away." He walked down the street, with Thomas in tow. "That's the bank?" He pointed to the columned building as they approached it. "You know how banks work, right? Pretty sure humans have those."

"I think I can handle it." He patted Spike on the head. "If not, you'll be my translator, okay?"

Spike smirked. "Can do."

The two of them entered the bank, which was just as classically columned on the inside. Thomas wandered up to a mare sitting behind a counter. "Hello."

She inclined her head, then glanced down at his palm. The mark was invisible, but she seemed able to see it anyway. "Ah! A migrant, all nice and processed. Welcome." She clopped her hooves together once. "How can I help you today? Are you a sir or ma'am?"

Thomas blinked. "Sorry, male."

"And I'm a male." Spike rolled his eyes and huffed. "Gender is a hard thing to get right sometimes."

The pony nodded to them both. "I knew what you were, Spike." She started typing on a two-keyed keyboard. "Now, you appear to—" She fell to mumbles as she got all the information into place. "Name?"

"Thomas."

"Fitting." She eyed him carefully. "As it says here, your stipend is one hundred and eighty bits per week. Payable once a week, directly from this bank." She crossed her arms. "If you'd prefer, you could open an account with us, and we'd hold onto those bits until you needed them. Saves you having to stop by every week."

"Uh." Thomas considered it. "Yeah, that sounds better. Just let me know what to do."

"One moment." She started typing again. "I'll have all the paperwork prepared for you." A few minutes later, she had a card to offer him, including a picture of him snapped when he wasn't looking, so not getting his good side. "Here you are. Just come in here with that and we'll get your bits to you."

"Alright, thanks." He looked over the card curiously. "This'll be useful."

"Great!" She smiled at them. "Anything else?"

"A couple places to live," said Spike.

The bank teller shook her head. "That's not what we do here, sorry." She reached across the pat Spike on the head. "Better off asking at town hall. They know where the empty buildings are. You two have a nice day, and welcome to Ponyville."

"Thanks." Thomas inclined his head to her and followed Spike out of the bank. "So, to town hall?"

"Sure." Spike looked up and down the street as they walked. He hopped back just in time for a pink pony to land where he had been headed.

"A new friend!" Pinkie grabbed Thomas, hugging tightly. "And he has a badge." She too could see the invisible mark somehow. "B? Great! That means I can throw a party for you and you shouldn't get super mad. You ready for a welcome to Ponyville party?!"

"No, not right now." Thomas gently pushed her off. "Um, maybe later."

"I don't have parties later." Pinkie pouted and turned away, but only briefly. She spun back with a wide smile. "So I'll set it up for the end of the week." She looked down at Spike. "Are you helping, spike?"

Spike nodded. "We're looking for a place for him to stay."

"Oh! There's a bunch of places he can stay." Pinkie pointed off at random. "Like there's that house. It's not filled with changelings, so that's good."

Spike squinted at her suspiciously. "Yeah, thanks." He pulled Thomas along. "Let's visit town hall, yeah?"

"Town hall," said Pinkie, bobbing her head from side to side as she pointed again. "That way!" She grabbed Thomas by the hand and started dragging him. "We can stop by Sugar Cube Corner for some cake."

Spike tried to pull him the other way. "Town hall first, then maybe some cake!"

Thomas found himself at the mercy of the two creatures as they each tried to drag him down one street or another. "Nice to meet you, but we probably should get that house sorted before cake, sorry."

"Alright, see you later." Pinkie released his hand. "Promise to have cake?"

"Uh." Thomas smirked lightly. "I promise." He felt her watching him as he and Spike wandered away, though it didn't take long for them to vanish around a corner.

Spike rolled his eyes as he went. "Ignore her. She's always like that. And she's being serious. Hope you're ready for that party. She will throw it."

Author's Note

And so we begin a new story. Where will it go? Heck if I know. Human visitors are clearly not unknown to Equestrians.

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2 - Select a House

They arrived at the town hall, thrumming with ponies busily trotting to and fro when they weren't writing or typing at their desk. Thomas took in a deep breath of that healthy working life smell. "So this is where they do all the governing, huh?"

"Yeah." Spike kept an eye out for someone who wasn't busy. "Ah ha!" He pointed the way towards a relatively calm desk. "Hey, got a new coming immigrant for you."

The pony behind the desk was a different shade of red than the others. He got up from his desk and gave Thomas a once over. "Alright, show me the back of your hand." The moment he could see Thomas' hand, he got to typing on his binary typewriter, hooves rapidly clicking back and forth. "Mmm. B Class, that's good."

Thomas perked at that. "What does B class actually mean? I mean, what do they want from me?"

"That depends." He inclined his head at Thomas. "By order of the princess, and everything that entails, you are allowed to stay here indefinitely." He sat down, hooves still working. "B means you are graded as generally friendly. A pony is in very little danger approaching and speaking to you. You appear to be open to such communication."

"I guess so." Thomas sighed lightly. "So what are my other options?"

The pony clicked one last time. "An A grade is one of the top levels. It means you actively are seeking out pony companionship and appear to be basically a pony, for all intents and purposes. To be treated as a friend at first glance. But above that, there's S and SSS grade, but I never met one of those."

Thomas pursed his lips. "So what do I need to do to get a better grade?"

The pony shook a hoof. "You are what you are, Sir. The mark is for first brushes. From here forward, you earn more by just being nice, or not being nice. If you're good to get along with, ponies will warm up to you nice and fast. Of course, if you prove yourself a danger to us, that's a big mark against you."

"It was all downhill from there." Thomas shook his head at the thought. "Speaking of that, below B?"

"Below B class migrants are categorized as such for various reasons." He tapped the keyboard with one hoof. "Classes run A through E, with F being reserved only for when a migrant appears to be more of a monster than a creature, and all ponies are well advised to stay away. C could just be grumpy, but there are social issues present. Approach with caution. D and E are actively dangerous to an increasing level. Be glad you didn't rank that."

"No, I am not even near dangerous." Thomas rubbed his arm nervously. "So why have classes at all?"

The pony snickered and flicked his ears. "Because we are ponies. We get scared easily. Having a mark that means a trained pony gave you a look and rated you means we don't have to panic."

Thomas squinted at him. "I guess that makes sense. So I'm good?"

"You're fine, Mr..." He inclined his head.

"Thomas." He grinned sheepishly. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." He laughs as he clicks at the writer. "See, classic B. Now, the number, hm. You're here for a house, right? Your number entitles you to a modest abode."

Spike puffed out his chest. "That's what we're here for."

"Alright. One moment." He quickly wrote something on a notepad and tore it off. "There you are. This will let you get into any of the vacant lots. None available above your rating. Spike, you know the way?"

Spike shook his head. "I was hop—" He recoiled, a scroll thrust against him. "Oh, thanks."

The clerk nodded. "Bring it back when you're done, please. Have fun! Welcome to Ponyville!"

Thomas collected the paper from the desk and examined it. It seemed official enough. There was an official seal and some very important looking words that he could not read, though it appeared to be all just friendly well-wishes. "Guess that's the key." He tucked it into a pocket and left with Spike at his side. "I have a question."

"Shoot." Spike pat his chest. "I can answer."

"What is this?" He tapped at the mask stuck to his face. "It doesn't get in the way of breathing or eating or anything, but it used to talk and stuff, and now it's just kinda stuck."

Spike squinted up at the mask. "Can't say I know much about that." He shrugged and looked away. "Never seen a mask that was alive before. Twilight might know, though." He frowned a moment before he snapped his fingers. "Actually, forget her. Zecora! She loves masks." He led the way through town. "First, let's see some houses, yeah?"

"Good idea." Thomas glanced down at the map. "Hm, there's three places listed here. One down that road, another around this corner, and one in this forest?"

Spike pointed. "Right around the corner first then. Let's check it out." His pace hastened into a proper jog to see, just to slide to a halt. "Oh... hi, Derpy"

The pony just around the corner had a huge bow on her back and was struggling to climb onto a very big bag of something. "Oh, hiya Spike!" She waved with a big smile, faltering at Thomas came into view. One her eyes fell to his hand and she relaxed just as quickly. "Hi new creature!"

"Uh, hi." Thomas waved back at her. "Whatcha doing?"

Derpy pat the bag she was climbing onto. "These are special peaches for Princess Celestia. Don't want them to be late." She turned her back to him. "A postal mare's job is never done." She backed up, sliding the bag onto her back. "Have a great day! See you soon!"

Spike grinned and waved as Derpy went off. "Bye Derpy." He nudged Thomas. "Come on, just a little farther."

Thomas looked down at Spike as they walked. "Who was that?"

"Derpy, mailmare." Spike shrugged. "Nice pony. Oh, if you were looking at her eyes, she was born with that. Don't make it a big deal. She won't appreciate it."

"Alright." Thomas felt that was good advice. The world was already weirder than he had thought possible. It wouldn't be hard to get used to wall-eyed creatures. Besides, Derpy seemed adorably innocent at first brush. He stopped when Spike did. "Hm?"

"Right there." He pointed to a small one story wooden house. It fit in with most of the others of Ponyville, though clearly not made for a full-sized family. The whole thing looked cozy.

"I'm more into bricks myself, but this isn't bad." Thomas shrugged and approached the door. He pulled out the paper and examined it. "The paper just says... open?" He pressed the paper against the door and it shimmered, vanishing from his hand as the door opened on its own.

Thomas followed Spike inside, taking in the sight of the main room. "You'll get the paper back when you leave, I think." He waved around as he explored. "Not bad at all."

Thomas slipped into the bedroom, which was surprisingly big. It wasn't cramped in any sense, not even for a house built for ponies. "Huh." The bedroom even had enough space for, well, a bed. One that'd fit him, even! And a nightstand with a lamp.

Spike whistled. "Fancy. Some nice windows and everything. This looks perfect."

"Yeah, but I'd want more storage space." Thomas tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I think I like this one, though. Let's check out the other ones before I say yes though." He went for the door and stepped outside. With a knock, the paper appeared and fell into his waiting hand. The door casually locked itself. "That is kinda cool."

They went off to see the second home, which was in a nearby forest. It was much more enclosed and covered in dirt than the last one. The walls were dirt and the roof was also made of sticks. Thomas shook his head at it, not even approaching the door. "Not my style."

Spike led the way next back to the third house. "Third time's the charm, right?"

"So they say." Thomas followed him back into town, going around another corner. He found himself standing before a big white tower with red trim. The large front door was fancy and wooden, and quite familiar to Thomas. He knocked on it without thinking. His paper vanished. "This is neat, but is also a tower, not a house. Did they make a mistake?"

Spike shrugged on his way in. "If it was the wrong house, the paper wouldn't have worked. I think you just lucked out."

The interior of the tower was all that he would have expected of one. It was large, as towers tend to be. There was a wide set of stairs leading up along the back wall. A large desk was near the door, for some reason, and a small sitting area. Thomas tapped a foot on the floor, slowly turning. "This is neat, but way too much up and down." He looked up the stairs. "Thinking of using those every days is already annoying me. Okay, house 1. Going for that. Nice, simple, good."

Spike followed him out. "Hey, did you ever want a big castle for yourself?"

Thomas shook his head. "I got my fill of castles in that game I was playing before all this." He took the paper to the first house and knocked on that door. "Now how do I say 'this time for reals'?"

"How about 'this time for real'?" Spike suggested with a wink.

Thomas squinted at the open door. "This time for real?" The door shimmered, but no paper appeared. Instead, a key fell into his surprised hands.

Spike pointed at the key. "That's yours. Now, note, most ponies don't even bother locking their doors. We trust each other a lot."

"Alright." Thomas pocketed the key. "Why do I have one then?"

"Well, it looks good." Spike shrugged. "And having the option isn't bad. Ponies do it when they're leaving for a while, lets other ponies know they aren't just out for the day."

Thomas nodded along. "Makes sense." He entered his new home, feeling a chill as he did. It was... vacant, in every sense of the word. It felt weird to step inside without much of anything there. "I need furniture."

"You need to go to the bank, again." Spike was chuckling at the idea. "Ask them for a writ. You can take that to the furniture shop and get whatever you want, and it'll come out of your account. Ta da!"

"Huh." Thomas glanced around his new house. "I guess I can do that." He locked the door behind him, with the key in the lock. "So, how do you like my new home?"

Spike patted his new human friend. "It's nice, but empty, like you said. I'm saving my real opinion for after you get some furniture in there. I bet it'll look way better then." He pointed off to the tower he lived in. "Now, me? I get what you said. Going up and down stairs can be a real pain."

"I see you agree with me on that point." Thomas headed out, giving a cursory wave to Spike. "Meet you at the furniture place, okay?"

"Got it!" Spike took off ahead of him. "You have to see this guy's stuff! And, if you like writing, he has quills too. Odd combo, but he makes it work."

Author's Note

If only home ownership were so easy in America, or much anywhere else, eh?

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3 - Stocking Up

It wasn't hard for Thomas to find the shop, because Spike was waiting outside. The storefront had a large sign above it that declared 'QUILLS AND SOFAS'. Below that hung another sign, equally sized, that said simply 'RECLINERS'.

"Quills and sofas, huh?" Thomas scratched the mask with a smirk. "Guess this is the place."

Spike nodded as he jogged out from around the corner. "There you are. Got it all handled?" He spotted the write in Thomas' hand. "There you go. We can get what we want with that, uh, so long as your account has enough. It has it written on it, so we can't get into any trouble."

"Good." Thomas gave the writ a quick glance before putting it away. "So what kinds of things do they have?" He reached for the door, but it swung open for him.

Behind that opening stood a pony that looked rather dapper. "Good afternoon." He glanced to Thomas' hand, then off to Spike. "Are you accompanying them, Spike?"

Spike waved as he slipped past Thomas. "Hey, Davenport! Yeah, new guy, Thomas, this is Davenport. Davenport, Thomas."

Davenport leaned closer, peering at Thomas' hand. "Hmm, B-17." He strode away. "This way. Have you already selected your residence?"

Thomas nodded. "Yeah, and it's pretty empty. That why I'm here."

"As expected." He walked between a pair of display couches. "Please, walk this way and examine this beautiful sofa." He ran a hoof over it gently. "Big enough for even a tall one like yourself, but cozy for anypony else stopping by too."

Spike walked over to the couch. "A big boy." He plopped himself onto it. "Soft and cushy."

Davenport smirked proudly. "One of my favorite lines of sofas." He nodded as he turned back to Thomas. "Very popular, hard to keep in stock."

"That's not the exact shape I was looking for." Thomas continued deeper into the store. "I like the style, though."

"The style?" Davenport caught up quickly, trotting up beside him. "Well, if you prefer that color, how about—" He guided him towards a darker shade that was similarly plush. "—something in this shade?"

"I've never understood those who go for lighter colors when it comes to furnishings." Thomas let himself sink into the new sofa. He sinks his hands down on either side with a smile. "But I've always been a fan of dark colors."

"Excellent choice!" Davenport's pride visibly grew. "Now, in your line of business—"

"You don't know what I do," said Thomas.

"Oh, really?" Davenport seemed to deflate. "I'm sure it's very interesting." He leaned in with a smile. "I've yet to meet a human that does life in a boring way."

Spike scoffed at that. "He has a point. You guys sure do love keeping it interesting."

"We just try and have a good time." Thomas stretched, letting his feet hang over the edge of the sofa. "Is that common with us?"

"Oh yes, very much so." Davenport nodded. "Now, you've selected a sofa. You need somewhere to work. May I suggest a nice work table? If you are looking for some sort of artistic outlet, you can draw there, paint, sculpt, play with glue and sparkles, anything."

Thomas rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Something simple and reliable would be appreciated."

Davenport rushed to a table, waving at it. "Like this." It hit him a moment later. "Ah, and we have chairs. Optional for ponies, but much more required for our beloved human customers."

"Yeah, definitely need a chair." Thomas walked around the table, eying it carefully. "I like it. Hardwood, smooth finish, nice legs."

"I only carry high quality products!" Davenport laughed at his own words. "Spike, do you know where our new friend lives?"

"Yep." Spike slid off the couch. "It's on this street."

"A simple delivery." Davenport closed his eyes and bowed deeply. "All you have left is bedding of some kind, and quills and ink, of course."

"Of course." Thomas laughed at the idea. "As if I could avoid that."

"Indeed." Davenport showed off his row of quills, preened to be pristine. "We carry standard and extra long feathers, dyed or natural. For ink, we have many shades to offer."

Spike smirked as he scribbled something down with a quill of his own. "Here's where to deliver everything."

"Wonderful, Spike!" He started adding numbers together. "Let's see... Sofa, table, chair, bedding." He pushed a piece of paper forward. "This price, plus taxes and tariffs."

Spike held up a talon to wait. "Woah, newcomer. Pretty sure he gets one off, right?"

Davenport looked confused a moment. "Oh, yes! You are correct. You are within the first month?" When Thomas nodded, so did Davenport. "Then no taxes or fees, Princess Celestia's orders."

Thomas rubbed his hands together. "Lucky me. Guess I should pick out a quill." He browsed them quickly. "Green, bright and cheerful, and you probably have blue and purple ink?"

"All sorts of colors." Davenport grabbed a bottle of ink. "These are a basic trio of colors, red, black, and indigo. I'll include them for free, so long as you promise to come back and purchase your own supply."

Thomas left the store with a big smile, the writ gone, and looking quite happy. "Man, it should always be that easy to get the essentials. Oh, speaking of that. How do I handle dinner? Do I have to get another writ?"

Spike chuckled under his breath. "Just tell them what you like, and they'll bring you stuff. They'll send you a bill every month based on what you ordered, then you can go pay them back. Since you just moved in, you've got some credit. But we usually don't buy raw stuff anyways, unless we're throwing a party, or stocking a pantry for later."

Thomas considered that. "That's awful civilized." He crouched down in front of Spike. "It's all too easy. What's the catch? Nothing is this easy. Ever. The sun always sets."

Spike huffed at Thomas' comment. "Seriously? Don't you think we'd be used to humans coming here by now? Ponies know what's up."

"About that!" Thomas rose to his feet. "How do they know about humans? I sure didn't know about living magic horses before I got here."

"Well." Spike hopped over a small stone as he walked. "I can explain this one. So you know how Equestria is ruled by a Princess? Well, she kinda opens portals, sometimes to recruit humans." He twirled to face Thomas. "When the local ponies couldn't get it done. You guys are very tricky, so she would put out a call, one would show up, and usually fix it, or make it worse. A bit of a luck of the draw. That's how the system started, rating humans on how agreeable they were."

Thomas stopped walking as he gazed over Ponyville. "So I'm not the first. In fact, I might not be the thousandth? Probably won't be the last?"

"You can never be sure, but odds are good there'll be another someday." Spike shrugged lightly. "You weren't even called here by a princess, that's kinda rare actually. So be proud of that."

"Proud? Sure." Thomas grimaced and followed Spike again. "Still, I guess it's okay. Just a surprise, not being a unique snowflake."

Spike smirked and laughed. "You get used to it. Most do." He hopped up over a log by the road. "You don't seem the type that'd go nuts about it."

"Heh, maybe." Thomas rubbed along the back of his neck as they kept walking. "So, how do I contact them and find out what happened?"

"Them?" Spike jogged up to Thomas' house and stopped by the door. "Them who?"

"I don't know, people, humans!" Thomas gestured widely at the world around them. "Others like me. I want to figure out what happened and if I can find my friends, so that I can tell them what happened."

Spike clapped his hands. "Oh! There's a pony in town, runs a bit of a meeting, once a moon. Her name's Lyra. You'll want to chat with her and visit the group. They talk about, um, human stuff? I dunno, never went myself."

Thomas breathed in deeply and smiled. "Thanks, Spike. Can you help me get there?"

"I can point you at her. Lyra's pretty nice. Also kinda into humans? You might find her a bit weird, but she means well." Spike pointed off through the trees. "She's probably in the park right now."

"You are awesome!" Thomas clapped his hands as he took off running, a smile growing across his face as he neared the edge of the town, where it became an open park with ponies lounging, and others playing little games among themselves. One seemed to have hooves stuck in the air as they sat at a table, scratching something into a sketchbook.

Thomas hurried over and skidded to a stop. "Lyra?"

"Yes, who wants to know?" She looked up and finally saw Thomas. "Oh! Hey!" She was all smiles at that point. "Didn't realize you were a human." Her eyes fell to his hand. "And a friendly one, nice! Have a seat."

Thomas did so, taking the bench across from her. "Thanks." He propped up on his arms. "I was told you can help me."

She nodded eagerly. "Yeah, yeah!" She leaned in over the table. "Name's Lyra, you know that. You're a human, bet you know that too." She snickered softly. "Always so excited to meet one of you. Where did you come from?"

"I'm not sure anymore." Thomas held out his hands. "My name is Thomas."

"Thomas. Hi! I've seen a few humans since coming to Ponyville." She placed both her front hooves onto the table. "You can trust me with anything." She put one of those hooves at her chest. "I've heard it before. I'm used to strange human things, so don't be worried."

He examined Lyra for a moment. "Yeah. I can see that." He gestured down at the book. "What were you working on?"

"Art. Drawing stuff." She pointed at Thomas. "I like drawing, especially humans. I don't know how you guys pull it off, but it's so interesting!"

She flipped to the next page and started a new doodle. "Also, I love that mask. Have you showed Zecora? I bet she'd go nuts."

Thomas blinked down at her. "Zecora loves masks?"

"Oh, absolutely! I bet you two would have a ton to talk about." She sighed happily. "It was such a great day when I found out you humans love music."

"I bet you guys do too." He rubbed behind his head. "Um, I heard you run a group, for humans?"

Lyra jumped to her feet. "That's right! Full Moon Friendship Circle, next week!" She scurried over the bench and stood close to him. "For all humans, locals and newcomers alike, just sit around and talk, sharing experiences, showing off talents, comparing ourselves against one another. Good times." She thrust a hoof at Thomas. "Want to join?"

"Absolutely! Sounds perfect." Thomas sat down, patting Lyra on the back. "I've got a question, though, and I hope you won't get mad."

"What? Ask me anything. Seriously." She waggled her eyebrows. "I doubt you have a question I won't answer."

He smirked a bit at the thought of her answering anything. "Do you know any other way I could talk to a human?" He shook his head. "Like, from back home?"

Her mood dropped. "Oh, well..." She rubbed her hooves together. "That hasn't ever happened. Coming here is kind of a one way street. You'd have to ask the princess directly, but so far I know, once you're here, you're here forever."

"Ah..." Thomas wilted at the thought. "No way back, then."

"Not as far as I know." Lyra shook herself out. "Humans are tough. You'll get over it."

"I guess so." He grunted out a sigh at the thought. "And I bet I'm not the first human you ever saw be annoyed about that."

"It happens." She shrugged lightly. "You can always try and send messages out. Maybe you'd be the first one who gets one back."

"Maybe." He didn't sound all that confident. "Well, since you seem comfy about humans, I'll go ahead and ask; Bestiality, what is its definition on this world?"

Lyra stared at him a moment. "Bestiality?"

"Where I come from, a human and a not-human is that. And it's considered bad. Mind, where I come from, only humans talk." Thomas shrugged. "Here, everything talks. Chatted up a few friendly horses and a dragon so far. Wouldn't be shocked if a friendly rock struck up a conversation."

Lyra nodded to his point. "Alright." She flicked at the air. "We call it something different. Here, we call it mixed. As for it being okay or not?" She shrugged. "If the two creatures want to be together, who are the rest of us to get in the way? Adults get to decide that on their own."

"Good to know." Thomas flashed a thumbs-up. "Nothing worse than making friends with someone and later finding out it was illegal for me to get closer with them, y'know?"

"I suppose not." She snickered at that. "You are a dirty human." She sneered at him. "Dirty dirty human."

"Sorry?" Thomas shrugged, unsure of where that left them. "Um."

She broke into giggles, unable to stop herself. "Don't worry. I've been called perverted plenty of times." She slapped a hoof against Thomas. "I like humans, dirty or not."

He smirked down at her. "Just glad you're accepting."

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." Lyra skipped away. "Glad to help! See you next moon cycle!"

Author's Note

House get! Lyra meet! It's time to meet some other humans. Should be good, right?

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